Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Hiding Cash w/ Kippy & Foley
Episode Date: October 19, 2023Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live ...show! NEW TOUR DATES: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Get 50% off your 1st box by going to https://factormeals.com/Garbage50 and use code GARBAGE50 Mint Mobile: https://www.MintMobile.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?
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Toronto, Canada, we're coming up north this weekend and we added a third show there at the Royal Theater.
Still a couple of takes left grab the squad command and see us.
Yeah, gang.
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Get all your official AYG merch and then also over there on Patreon.
We're doing a contest where if you sign up and if you're an active Patreon user in October of 2023, you get your chance
to be on RU Garbage and interview by the big man and myself, do it sign up at Sephardi.
Welcome to another exciting edition of RU Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite
comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts
Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast.
This is our you garbage. So I will show we sit down to your favorite comedians and we find that
they're going to be classy. Yeah. You're after just a big old piece of trash.
Corby.
I'm your host, Tate, totally coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here at Tuddy's in the new edition.
She's upstairs getting the Halloween candy ready.
Okay.
We're talking full-size snickers.
We're talking full-size razor blades.
Yeah.
My co-host is coming at you from across the table.
It's a family episode.
Circle of wagons.
Yeah, just the boys, the bozos, and homies.
He is the CEO of our Ugarbitch.
He's an international businessman
and my best pal in the whole wide world.
Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan.
Who beware of my camera.
Hey, what's up everybody?
Thanks for tuning in as always. Please sure you rate review subscribe over there on iTunes
Which we're climbing up to charts?
That used to be you thought that was dead in the water you do was where it was iTunes were sky rocks
Throw a review on yeah, something review over day. We haven't said that in a long time really do
I mean we say it but shake them up a little bit. I mean, yeah
What the fuck? I know the boys are back in town. Get the ops going. I got the ops going crazy.
Is that what we're doing?
That's what we're doing.
I'm then obviously full video available on YouTube
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Cooking, baby.
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Then I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the amount of stuff
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It's a lot.
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Uh huh.
Which we've never announced, we never talked about publicly what's
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patreon user in the month of october of the year 2023 uh-huh you will be entered to win a spot
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Whoa. Oh, baby.
That's what I'm talking about.
Talking with the fucking homies, figuring it out.
Uh, if you sign up over there, uh, before the end of the month,
you will automatically be in the running for it.
We're going to pick 10 finalists.
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Check it. The frick out gang.
Brides accepted.
I mean, people have been sliding in the DMs with,
with, with, with the one girl from his sister.
I was like, hey, bad, I'm a married man.
But send them pics.
Let me see what she looks like.
Gang, having a nice quick chat after our producer
works short in there.
The magic man makes us all look good.
Works good.
One's the twos, the threes and the fours.
He crosses the tees and dots, the eyes.
Give it up for T-bone, McStruffens,ins Toby McMullan everybody. Hey, what's up boys?
What up T-bone you guys are looking great today. You know that thanks you're looking so good
I just want to apologize again for being late. Yeah
I knew you were buttering me up you not so much. Oh, I am disheveled. I had a good old school wake up
Look at the time freak out. Dude, you came in like a dog who just heard fireworks
You were fucking you were on the couch under the bed.
You came in frazzled.
Get a cone on your head.
I'll give you this though.
You didn't push the shower, which I respect.
You didn't shower.
Oh, not at all.
Cause she still had the puff in the back.
We were all saying you were going to come running in
through the front door.
Totties with your wet hair. Cause wet hair tobey usually has it dude. Yeah, wet hair toad. Yeah, so I'm smoking a cig
I remember the one time he had us with that we were like Columbus or something came down late and these I'm smoking a
SIG we're like oh man you were in your head up in the room
There's you were you were doing you were fighting your own battles, buddy have to take it the wet hair, man
I don't know why it goes back to when I was a kid and there'd be there'd be people girls on the on the bus
With wet hair and all you smelled was their conditioner turning you down
You gross
Just shut down by a wet rat you're asking on what they're having for logic. What'd you get today?
That smell of of wet hair in the morning, it just killed me.
Well, my hair doesn't dry for like nine hours.
It's all thing.
I get it.
I think I look disgusting.
Get a hair dryer.
All right, kid, we appreciate it, man.
Don't sweat it at all.
And one last call to the fucking army garbage up there
in Toronto.
This is, if you're hearing this
I think this is dropping on on Wednesday and Saturday we got the eve before the eve before the weekend
We're in fucking yeah, Toronto had it a third fucking show at the royal theater. We're either currently jammed up in a Canadian prison
Yeah, we will see what happens or we're just getting into the hotel
Look it forward to I put my passport in my bag yesterday nice. I was like I'm gonna forget it. I have you this now
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I gotta I gotta get eyes on mine really if I keep it in a handful of places
KC I hide mine too. I usually keep it in a in a pocket of a suit that doesn't fit anymore
Dang it'll look better. I'm gonna look at that suit, there's no way this fat pig's been getting this guy in.
Well, that is, this is a pretty good time
we've never talked about the trashy hiding places.
This suit jacket.
All time.
But everybody knows that.
If I'm breaking into your crib,
I'm going for that inside pocket.
No, you really?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that, what do you mean, no one knows?
That's everybody's hiding.
No, that's what I tell myself.
You know what I, I got some pearls in.
A bunch of original issues,
Starbursts and stuff in there.
This is the, not my mango cherries.
This is the third Jolly Ranch forever printed.
We used to have a hook up with Jolly Rancher.
I would tell you about that.
My fraternity brother, his dad was a chemist.
Was a Jolly Rancher.
For Jolly Rancher.
And his dad would show up with bricks.
I think I think you might.
Like keys.
Of like flavors they were fucking.
Like Walter White, like a giant sheet of blue.
Dude, it was awesome.
This is pure glass.
Yeah.
I don't know if I ever told you what I have
is a hiding device.
Butthole.
Hey, what are you doing?
It's my safety deposit box.
Got all my good docs in there.
You're war bonds.
I have, which I'll say it now,
cause I'm changing it.
You shouldn't reveal where you keep your goods.
Sure.
I got a fake, I bought a fake Bible
With the key and I have it in his stack of books
Can't tell I don't trust that cleaning lady's that a bunch of hustlers
Sticks out like a sword thumb a fake Bible. Yeah at first glance
It it does the test, but if you start snoop around it's plastic. What do you got in there? What?
Emergency Rogane, couple of ams,
cause you get jammed up a lot.
A couple of blue shoes, in case the blue strikes.
I did keep my watch in there until I lost it.
You're watch.
I had a lot about a nice watch when I was in Germany last year.
The one that I've seen with the tan thing, with the tan band.
No, that came from our great friend's movement.
Oh, okay.
Uh-huh.
What watch did you have?
I had it for about a week and I lost it.
Now what's a nice watch?
It was a Hugo Boss.
It was a Hugo Boss.
Okay.
Yeah.
Alright.
Would you wait, get 2005, 2006, when you pick this up?
No, last year.
Hugo Boss.
Try Hamilton, my friend.
Every American president has had a Hamilton watch.
That he just learned that.
I'm telling everybody.
And he, you talk about fucking.
Classy guy, Ronnie Chang told me that.
That's just pure insecurity.
You go and, is this watch a Bozo Company?
Oh, presidents, okay. No, Mr. Chang confirmed it. Oh is this watch a boys or company? Oh, presidents.
Okay.
Now, Mr. Chan confirmed it.
Not a great watch, great watch company.
Every American president.
You didn't know that going in.
I knew nothing.
I don't think the Greek ripped me off.
This is shmammled.
It came with two tickets to Book of Mormons.
Do you remember back in the day I saw my neighbor had for the first time it was they got
real big the cans
They were for weed dealers and yeah, I know you're talking about the bottom of the soda can't the top of the soda can't screw off
And it feels like a full can they put like
Man, I remember seeing that for the first time blew my mind and then with my friends
In high school started moving wait, mm-hmm. They would have like the Pringles ones and stuff like that
And it was like you open uples ones and stuff like that.
And like you open up to top and it would still be sealed. But in the bottom there was a QP.
You know what I mean? Any chips in there?
Obviously. The sour cream and onion.
I'll be honest with you. I got nothing. I got nothing hidden. Just my passport. That's
the only thing really of value that I would have yeah, I I kind of like Social Security cards and shit like that
That's what plays that's just in a in a in a file drawer
Which I do have a new Social Security card. I had to get replaced that my birth certificate
Got lost all the grids. Yeah, they all got lost losing poker game something. I don't know what happened to it
But it was all fucked up. I also don't have that
You don't have your social security card. No, or my birth certificate
Do we do a background check on you when you started working? Yeah, there's no paper work. I'm sure it's just have a handshake deal. I'm sure it's down to your moms
I'm sure they have all that. Oh, no, they sent it up. I probably lost it. Oh really? Oh, yeah, you can get that stuff
Hey, it sold it for a new skateboard. Yeah, you get that stuff
I I feel pretty good of like when I leave my apartment I go there's nothing if someone were to break in
There's nothing of real value. I don't have only the cat everything else
He knows just yeah only the cat the cat my in my I meant the longing the one plant that I have
I would be upset if they nick that upset yeah,, yeah, I'm saying, oh, value.
I mean, I have a computer like a $900 old fucking MacBook,
but that's about it.
Anything else is, there's like maybe a hundred bucks
in cash and like ones.
If you had to get out, you got a minute to get out.
Yeah.
What are you grabbing?
The Bible, because there's about three grain in there. My passport. It's real religious. It's also broken like the covers flat.
It's just real bad. I gotta get something new. I think I'm just going safety deposit
box at the local bank. Really? Go keep everything in there. That's a real adult. My handguns,
gold. I would just want to do that to be able to do the experience to walk in there.
You both got to turn the key, then you tell the broad to beat it or whatever, whoever's
open up with the thing bag.
Yeah.
You always have to grease the guy or is that only you don't grease the guy?
It's only when you got when you got blowing.
Yeah, that's what you need.
I'm going to look the other way.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Get yourself a couple of new suits.
That's what you say.
Get out of here. Yeah.
But you're allowed to keep cash in there.
Yeah.
As long as it's claimed cash, I believe.
What's that mean?
Who knows?
That's the whole point.
See, bank, they know what's up.
That's what a real goods are.
Nobody ever goes to the safety deposit box.
I don't think they can get in them.
No, no shot.
I think it's very hot unless, I mean, then they do that in a, inside man. Doug McCree can get in there. Come, no shot. I think it's very hot unless I mean then they do that in a inside
man. Doug McCree can get in there. Come on. Doug crack a safe shot out to the town. Yeah,
that was yeah, I don't know. I don't know what people with stuff. I don't have anything
valuable. Yeah, me neither. TV banks got my cash. What would you grab? So you'd grab
the Bible? The Bible's got some cash in it, okay?
If I'm like who's there is someone after me
It's all going down everybody's got to get out you got to get out and you got to get moving
Apocalypse not apocalypse. You're gonna need a little money the heat is on the heat something. Yeah, all right
I'm asking do I need a weapon
Sure, I'm grabbing my knife from...
The spoke post.
The spoke post.
And send me about 10 of them.
And my martini shaker.
Smoking a cocktail.
I'll be right with you.
Sit anywhere.
No, no, that's gonna be with my extra long spoon.
My swizzler.
Um, yeah, I'll cash in a knife, the dog, and the bird,
the keys to the car. And your passport, that's it. Passport. No? a knife, the dog, and the bird, the keys of the car.
And your passport, that's it.
Passport.
No?
I mean, there's, what if you want to travel?
I guess if I'm getting away from federal law, yeah, grabbing a passport, going down to
Guatemala or something.
Okay, keep, I'm grabbing the cat.
A skateboard, without question.
Got a shred.
Got to go get a session.
I got to say mobile, boys. Got a shred. Got to go get a session. I got to say mobile boys.
Cat, skateboard, probably my, now that you're saying it,
I would grab my passport now, but I wouldn't have thought
two beforehand.
Maybe like a one photo I would like to keep.
And then, yeah, I don't really own things.
Yeah, I'll just, my winning attitude.
My winning attitude. Grab a comb
way. I'm grabbing the cat also that's Toby's excuse all this train. I mean, it was very
slow today today. It'll do when you're jammed up, it always is. They know when you leave
the house an hour late, everything slower. Whoa, whoa, 45 minutes. I want to talk about
this big faux pas. Me and the big man the other night went down to the, well, long with
stuff, Island went down to the old Phil's game. Shout out to the fight and fill them fighting
Phil down there. It at citizens bank park and
You know we were drinking you aren't really drinking mm-hmm. I
Drink myself stupid um
But he died I took some shroom. Yes. This was a very Fully which I found in my in I'm grabbing those
Assorted drugs. Yeah, I didn't get to say I would grab my my cat. I'd grab my plant I'm grabbing those. A sorted drug.
Yeah, I didn't get to say I would grab my cat.
I'd grab my plant.
I'd grab my dad and my nexium and my passport.
Mm-hmm.
I don't have any kiche.
Can't be jammed up in immigration with like an acid reflux.
You didn't know you're up to something.
I mean, if something was going down, I wouldn't make it a couple of days.
I'd be miserable.
Be real moody. I gotta have my nexium. I got to. I mean, if something was going down, I wouldn't make it a couple of days. I'd be miserable. Be real moody.
I gotta have my neck.
I got to.
I got to.
But yeah, something that's never happened to me
in a 27 year drug career was I had two little microdoses
that I didn't read.
The one I knew about,
because it was cracked and I put it in a bag
and I just left it there and fuck with it. But then at the bottom of the cookie jar, there was one sitting there. And I was like, the one I knew about because it was cracked and I put it in a bag and I just left it there and fuck with it.
But then at the bottom of the cookie jar,
there was one sitting there and I was like, man, I'm slipping.
That seems like a dangerous place to keep loose drugs,
a cookie jar.
I don't keep cookies in there.
Oh, all right.
Yeah, don't mix them with the oreo.
Wow, that was what you're doing over there.
Those are in the safety deposit box.
Turn your key.
Mint condition.
Yeah, just some giant man turning his back as you pull out an original twinkie
Yeah, never did that before never like you know, well, I didn't realize I had it
There was never I was always crazy. Oh, I found this in the bag of my thing never in my life
I know where that shit is at all times GPS GPS, but found it. Anyway, yeah,
wasn't drinking too much. Um, but big. This is a very faux pas of Henry. He thinks he's
acutely aware of all the surroundings at all times, but real Toby move. But there's
he. I don't like that. I don't like that already. And you know, he just operates with huge blind spots sometimes
You know what I mean and we're there. There's an older couple in front of us
And down the line it goes it goes big man Okani me Tommy
From the aisle out got the aisle big man, you know, he's got some we need some space at the aisle right behind
Boom third base a little bit back in a left field perfect fucking shot
Never seen that angle before got to see Alec bomb do a couple of fucking rippers over the first base
I got to tell you man. Those guys are athletes
I don't mean the professional athletes how far that shit is and they just fucking wing it in the ball curves right in the Harper's hands
Let's go
but right in the Harper's hands. Let's go. But we were good, the beer run,
somebody was going to the bathroom,
it was a little disjointed of acquiring alcoholic beverages.
We weren't on the same page in a good way,
because like I would go and like you could only get two beers,
so you were coming back and we had us,
and then we were buying them,
we had a surplus of beers at our feet.
I don't know, four.
Right? And they were big boys. Four gluggers, like four fucking
bunch of gluggers. Four 24 answers. Yeah. I'm talking IPAs,
Miller lights, Bud lights, it was running the game. Sweet
couple in front of us. She was turning around, giving a high
five. She was loving it. Bup, Bup, Bup. And I had noticed,
excuse me, I had noticed in the beginning of the game that they had, sorry, that they
had their bags tucked under their seat.
They had their belongings under that.
They had gone to like the official merch store.
They had like all this.
So.
That all that shit's about to go to splash mouth.
Which is it fun.
It was like the goddamn log.
Is it dumb moves?
It's a dumb move.
Dude, I'm throwing down peanut shells like I'm in a bar in Deadwood.
Just fucking hitting the floor.
Hey, oh, that's what you're supposed to do.
His right foot comes in like a snow plow and just boom, boom.
It's like he's bowling down there.
It was maybe the fifth six standing.
All the gluggers all over these people's belonging.
And I didn't even think of their stuff.
I just remember seeing all the beer running down the aisle.
And I'm like, you know what he gonna do?
It was an accident.
And I didn't really notice them.
I'm actually at 120 of of assorted beers.
Dude, that's a couple of surf signs in there.
That's three 40s.
Imagine it's like a college brochure.
It's tons of diversity.
Oh man.
I'm tripping pretty hard at this point too.
Over the beers.
In my defense, those beers wouldn't stay still. Yeah. I was moving a little bit. Dude, and they, I didn't notice any of this. And I feel,
I felt and feel terrible about it. I was thinking about it this morning in the shower. Dude,
just because it was such a wonderful environment. Everybody's high five in. We're fucking, we're
all there. That fucking baseball park. And you came through and fully did and didn't even think about it.
They're going to be telling that story.
Remember, we were, we were at the game.
I felt so bad.
I felt more bad for the husband because when the first home run got hit, it was like real
back and forth for the first three innings.
And then Castiano's fucking hit a fucking cracker and she was fucking doing something
and I remember him like looking like looking back like where the fuck is she? You know what I mean?
I've been in that situation like she's fucking missing it. You know what I mean? I felt bad for
him real cool cucumber you are but didn't even think about it. Dude, it's so she I clock it
obviously. I'm aware of my surroundings. I am meat need well, I just see the you got a pigeon on your head
I see the waterfall
Right, it's like it's like to the point where it's going down
Both the beds like and they're like dude cheese. She picks up a back a blue
You know, there's like knapsack bags like the drawstring knapsack she picks it up and it's like it looks like someone turned to sink on it
It's just dripping onto the ground and she's like, she's doing this looking back
Hoping to get anybody and I don't want the eye contact because I'm you know
So I'm like I'm darting my eyes away, but I'm still like stuck in the story
You see how it pans out dude. He then picks up his bag. It's worse somehow. It's just it's just dripping
Bear all dude and he pulls out. He's got like a t-shirt a hat
All just fucking beer stain. I didn't see any and he's like slap hands like he's got no clue
Going on high five high five. He's out the lunch this fucking and I didn't know they stopped turning around and high five
And then stuff like that but I just didn't think about it. Man. Because what see what happened was.
They were so upset through the eyes.
Reel starting was insane.
She didn't look at me, did she?
Yeah.
Huh.
She did that.
Like imagine like the, huh?
Like, look, she just wanted my bag.
Why did they say something?
I would have said I'm sorry.
I would have took them to the store, bought them anything they fucking wanted.
Just put a pizza with them. Jane never got. Never got my mac and max. Why did they say something I would have said I'm sorry I would have took them to the store bought them anything they fucking wanted
Just put a pizza with them Jane every got never got my mac and max kit. What do you know about factor? What do I know about fact? I know about factor. I've been a client of factors. I never had the turkey chile
Is that are you trying to offend me?
During the ad read you ever had their cauliflower mash
Dude, I'm a man shredded chicken taco if they could send me 12 of them a week
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Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com slash garbage. Now back to that show, back to the
show. Now I felt terrible about that. I really did. What happened was I was in tune with
the vibrations of the universe. They were, they were real, they were relaxed. The beers were
real wonky. And then he goes to sneaky heater and I say shout out to
Wait, one of here all time fucking hang I'm going to sneaky heater I go big man. I'm going I got we're hitting homeruns left and right
I'm wasting I'm like I got to catch a heater. I'm in Citizens Bank bowl part. I'm catching a heater
I fucking go out. I go you want to go. He goes. No, I'm good. I go out to catch a heater
Who do I bump into who's also going to catch a heater. Who do I bump into? Who's also going to catch a heater?
Tom Jones Pat
No idea either either one of us are at the game. We locked on what the fuck is that?
I'm going to catch a heater goes. Let's go right this way fucking cranking heaters on the fucking on the mezzanine
So he's going for a little while. I'm out of I'm out think the second or the first or second IPA that I drank and you know,
reserves are running low.
You got to keep the juices going.
So the surf side guy comes rolling around.
So me and O'Connor get like four surf sides that the ice tea is hanging dead.
So I start drinking that and I'm like, you know what?
These are much going down much smoother
than the fucking IPA's,
because they're not filling up my stomach and stuff like that.
So I'm like, all right, I'm switching over.
And then he comes back like 10 minutes later
with this big gulp sized,
it looked like a garbage pale.
It was like, it was like, like the graphics on it.
It was like devils juices, something. It was heavy. It was like it was like like the graphics on it. It was like devils juice and something. It was heavy
It was thick. I spilled some on my hand. Still got the mark mark in the beast had a dumb vinegar on it to get it off
And I was just like well, I'm not fucking drinking this so I just put that right there on the edge and left it there and then a few minutes later
I looked down and it was it was it, it might have been that girl that walked
in and out. I don't remember actually kicking it. You're on fucking goofballs.
Loot on. Yeah. It's fucked up, man. I felt, I feel better. I don't want to ruin their
time. You didn't make their night. I'll tell you that much. Man. Very upset. Well, I don't
even, I noticed, I remember them leaving right away.
Yeah.
Are they left that like the eighth inning or something?
And that was because of me.
They, yeah, they left it for the end of the game.
I don't know if that's because of you.
And by the way, you ran out of there at the end of the game.
We didn't get to do the fucking, uh, the, the column scots on with everybody.
I went to do it up there.
I went to pee.
I would have stayed for another 15 minutes. Why saying I'm running the bathroom. We were all leaving. I
You're then you were wrong. I said I'm under the bathroom before that line gets crazy. Oh, I didn't hear you
In your in your defense
Playoff baseball you're not on drugs and you're not hammered. What are we doing? It's also like not even that that happens
Dude you put your shit under the seat at a baseball not hammered. What are we doing? It's also like, it's not even that. That happens.
Dude, you put your shit under the seat at a baseball game.
What the fuck are you thinking?
I've never left a fucking baseball game
where it wasn't complete discussed.
No, you're not wrong.
That's the bone yard, dude.
Yeah.
That's for boxes that had soft pretzels.
That's for soda cups.
Not show cheese.
Yeah, dude.
Yeah, you're not, I mean, you're not wrong.
It happens. I don't, I think they were
just through the volume of liquid and let the pure, not in zero acknowledgement of the
pain they were feeling at the time. I didn't see any, I didn't see them ringing out the
clothes. I know. I know. I mean, I mean, give me a heads up. Hey, see what you did. I'm
not getting your mess. That was a mess. I would have fucking got them hot dogs or something like that. All right. Well, hey, all right. Hey guys, I'm sorry about the beer. You see this dragon and center field?
Is Jesus bitching?
Man, oh, if by any chance they're not listeners if If they are, they're not anymore. Maybe they got off the Patreon.
Maybe a nephew or something of theirs is.
If anybody in the Philadelphia area is aunt, uncle, mom, or dad, or somebody you work
with, you know how many does it is complaining about some fat pig that was staying behind him
at the baseball game that ruined their time.
Hit me up.
It was me.
You know, many people are going to just say it was the ran or uncle just for free.
I remember what they looked like.
I'll need pictures.
Yeah.
Okay.
Uh huh.
Anyway, it feels one.
Sure.
Yeah.
It's a good game.
Great game.
I got some freefills.
Hold on.
I did want to have it.
It was a pretty fun moment.
We're waiting in line to get in.
I mean, we are having beers beforehand, right?
You're hopping in Uber and Philly doesn the thing that New York doesn't really do.
You can just grab a six or they'll just give you a six back to go shot the Fergies and Philly.
So we got a six or a pounders. We hop in the Uber. We're like cool.
If we have some pops in here, you guys I don't care. We're popping in the Uber.
We get down. We hop in line. I'm cranking heaters because I know I'm gonna have them inside, but they're limited.
I can't have them. I free will, you know what I mean?
So I'm cranking heaters in line and this kid goes,
fucking, keep it fully, are you garbage?
And I never felt like I was carrying the brand more
than chugging a fucking war miller light
and cranking a heater as the guys,
as I'm walking through security.
Just like, I'm sorry.
Walking through, to walk into a metal detector blowing out
sig smoke.
And shout out to Chris O'Connor for the move of the night.
Probably in a blackout state,
negotiate, negotiate an illegal uber pickup
in the middle of broads.
In the middle of an intersection,
the guy, he goes, I'm like,
he's like, let me see if this guy's available.
Like a black as you be pulled up.
He's like, are you picking someone up?
And he's like, yeah, he goes, how much to not?
And he's like, 40 bucks, we're like, get it.
He's like, it took about 10 minutes and two lights
for us to all get in the car.
Yeah, he was pulling away as I was getting in.
Everybody was, it was a, we were,
people were booing us.
It was a scene.
Us, I couldn't see straight.
It was not my fault.
See, how did I sign up as a good time is a
All right, I got a question for you fellas. I got a fun little new are you garbage question?
Oh, that came up in conversation with one of my homies. Okay, are your great grandparents currently alive?
Jesus Christ.
No.
Whoa.
Never even met him.
I know, dude.
I have grandparents I never met.
Yeah.
I think my dad's dad went in like 42.
Are your grandparents or passed away, right?
Yeah, I was just thinking about that last night.
Yeah, my grandfather passed.
I don't know.
My grandfather passed.
Oh, it wasn't that long ago.
Past last year. Past last year. Yeah, maybe a year I don't know. My grandfather passed. Oh, it wasn't that long ago. Past last year. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe a year ago. Um, that was your last one. That's pretty
good. 30. What do you? 37? 37. Yeah. And he bed. He was like 95. Yeah.
Box. Good genes in there. Yeah. He wore khaki as much. I thought he was a green juice guy.
Nah, he was a steak and eggs when he could.
That's good to know.
You got good jeans.
I hope he got a little bit of that.
Down there, adenos off root nine.
We take every time we went down, we had to say, I'm taking the adenos, the diner.
Oh man, I could crush a traditional American breakfast.
Nothing like a steak and a diner, man, it's all right.
That's yeah, that's good.
I never were they alive for me.
Cause that's generations of,
yeah, that's crazy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You got something what happened to,
you gotta have kids real young for that to happen.
Yeah, everyone does.
Yeah, the most handsome.
No, everybody has to have them young.
Yeah.
You don't have that, right?
Are your grandparents still alive? Oh, that is hell have him young. Yeah. That that happened. You don't have that right?
Are your green perch still alive?
Oh, dead as hell.
Okay, Jesus Christ.
It's all fucking sun-channel rainbows with this guy.
Yeah, my, what's the sentimental?
Yeah, my, yeah, yeah, they're all good.
All passed, huh?
Yeah, my crack head uncle really stole
the family's inheritance.
You have a crack head uncle?
Oh, sure.
I knew this.
I might have. Buddy, buddy mine from North Carolina.
He was my, he was my plug. Yeah, my mom's dad passed away when she was 12. My, her mom passed away
when I was a baby. My, my dad's mom was in a nursing home until I was 14. She died and my grandfather on my dad's side died when I was in kindergarten
I answered the phone answered that call he called you. No, I'm dying
fell a bit
What I do
Staddle my sick deposit box
Yeah man great grandparents that's wild.
But there was a great ant floating around for a little while.
Oh, my great ant was alive until I was probably 18, ninth now.
I think in my 20s, my great, my mom, so.
That would be your great grandfather's sister,
they would be that line, right?
Oh, no, no, no.
A great ant is your grandmother's sister,
your grandmother's grandfather's sister.
Yeah, that doesn't count.
That same generation.
Yeah, my aunt is that great.
Although I wanna say now,
I wanna say now in my family, not right now,
but for a minute,
my one cousin did have kids early.
So her mom's her mom.
So the babies, that's her grandmother.
Her mom was still alive.
Yeah, they might have had a little bit of that,
but not directly into me.
Either way, that's trash.
Yeah, I ain't good.
That's crazy.
A lot of poor decision making.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But hey.
That's a brood right there.
Getting it out or getting it, you know,
or they're very mature and they have kids young.
Baby. I don't know. Baby. Who knows? That's trash right there. Getting it out or getting it you know or they're very mature and they have kids young.
I don't know. Maybe. Who knows? That's trash right there. Um yes that is a fucking, we might have to
add that one to the list. That's a doozy. I mean that's a proper wild. Yeah. Great grandpa.
Yeah over like yeah over 10 that shouldn't happen. No, I assume they were in like the Civil War
I just when I hear great Grandfathers I have just picture they lived in black and white. Yeah, you know
No penicillin everybody's got polio like my cruees no microwaves doing yeah, no
Yeah, this guy is it is not important 19 30 this guy
Who the great Grandpaire the great grandpa that's my grandfather was born in like 1922. Who? The great grandpa. The great grandpa.
That's my grandfather's board in like 1922.
Yeah.
Or something like that.
My homie was like,
I gave him a twisted tee.
I thought it was gonna kill him.
Oh yeah.
Jesus Christ.
Shut up.
Twisted T's by the way.
They don't get enough credit.
All these new companies are coming in.
They fell off a little bit.
No, twisted T has been giving you the fucking high.
Are you sure?
No, that fell off quality
But in popularity I feel like they've fallen off
They've there they've been given the fucking smoke for a decade
I'm a let off the throttle they weren't around while we'll this summer. I'll tell you that I
Can't drink it give you kid too much of that at least he gives you kidney stones
I also gives you a rip and hard burn. I had a cousin was drinking like 13 snapples a day
They got kidney stones and they were like how much your rip and hard burn? I had a cousin was drinking like 13 snapples a day, and then he got kidney stones,
and they were like, how much snapple you drinking?
So he asked them that.
So no, my biggest fears.
They're the ones that you pass, right?
You pee them out?
Twisted tees been around for 22 years.
Buddy, they, you know,
right, grandparent.
The no city consumes them more than Philadelphia.
Twisted tees.
They're like the Rodney Dangerfield abuse.
You getting over spec'd. Yeah, so they popped off late. They're like the Rodney Danger Field of Boos. You're getting over-specced.
They're not, they popped off late.
They go.
Kidney stones.
You pee them out?
Yeah.
There's another stone.
Golf stone.
What's that?
I don't know.
Your gall bladder.
Sure.
You ever know anybody that passed the kidney stone?
Oh, yeah.
Really?
I would freak the fuck out.
Oh, I couldn't handle that.
I couldn't handle that at all.
That or the gout?
I'm not sure what, there's no one like your toes crystallized.
Yeah, the blood crystallizes.
And it pushes it out through the front of your toes.
No, it doesn't.
Yes, that's what it is.
It crystallizes and then it's pushing
through the front of your toes.
That's why it's so painful.
Give that a Google, I don't think that's true.
I thought I was fighting a case of that for the best level alien shit. I know yeah, I had a bad toe one time
I thought I thought it was I thought I had to go out. I was it. I was changed this we're all just gonna start spiraling
Gold in the doctor. I
Was eating a lot of cream soups at the time. What it does it's a big powder moment. Oh man
Yeah, let's change subject.
I'm freaking out.
I think I feel like I can.
Well, follow this stuff.
Does it come out through your toes?
Uh, yes.
It pushes out through.
You can get it in other places.
It's in your, I thought it was the tip of your toes,
but it's in the joint.
And it comes out.
It's like, it like pushes out of the joint.
But it's not coming through your body like an aliens.
No, it's not like we're not
growing stuff. I think it's just swelling and stuff. Yeah. Listen, we're not doctors. We don't know
what we're talking about. Going to Toby to tell us what Gowdy's is. This is a goddamn family episode.
We got to get to some fucking Patreon cues. I didn't even think a shower this morning. We're listening to this guy.
Can't even tell us about growl. What?
Trying to make a bathroom connection real quick.
I want a nine day bender. Give me some credit. Talk about the stuff at home depot.
Guys, this is a goddamn family episode.
So when you sign up for Patreon, we will answer your garbage question.
On the air, it's just the best way to frickin' do it gang.
Yeah.
Shout out, get over there on that Patreon.
The contest is running till the end of October and we will pick the
finalist. But all you got to do is sign up.
Don't have one show. Have one show. You get chance to get your interview by big
man and Kippurino there.
We fun. Um, all right. This one's from Bizzouka Joe $10 board member here.
Never have one red. Are you garbage? If you got fired by someone wearing a Hawaiian
shirt?
never have one red are you garbage if you got fired by someone wearing a Hawaiian shirt.
That ain't a great job to begin with. Man, that's hurts. Why key key? Uh-huh. That's fucking yeah. That's even worse if it's in like Cleveland or something. That's like
use car dealers or something. Margaritaville. That's on point though. I'll give you that.
You can fire that's that's corporate uniform there. and for this reason we're gonna have to expel you from the margarita for the family
They do it like fucking survivor
Turn in your pineapple and get out
That's crazy how big that was that whole operation hotel. There's a margaritaville hotel in New York
Oh, yeah, it's gonna you get a locate on how many locations margaritaville has gotta be hunt
You know never been it's like 30 something. I many locations Margaritaville has gotta be on you know never been
It's like 30 something I watch a YouTube video of a guy who went to every location. It's awesome
That's fun. I would go to that. I would check out a Margaritaville probably do coconut shrimp. All right
I think I probably do cook in some shrimp
It's got fucking parties
I'll probably do some cook in some shrimp. You need me too some heroin a little opium
I'll probably do some cookin' some shrimp if you need me too. Some heroin a little tilapia.
String, get me a hand.
Let's say.
We never, we never shout, but RIP to James Buffett, man.
Of course.
A legend.
Yeah.
Borderline devastating for my father.
The day it happened in honor, I went over my boy Ryan's house.
I get there, I open the fridge, a bunch of land sharks in the fridge.
Had a couple, because that was his beer, had a couple.
Yeah, land sharks.
I love this.
Margaritaville's hotels.
Hotel.
We might have,
because for the longest time, we might have talked about,
I thought his cousin was Warren Buffett.
That's what a guy used to work with told me,
and I just believed it.
Oh, yeah, we looked it up on the show.
That's a proud mom right there.
I just thought guys are killing it.
That's what I said.
Fucking, you got all that seed money from fucking Warren.
It doesn't even have like a destination and doesn't he have like a destination?
Doesn't he have like a Cabo Wabo, whatever the fuck that?
He probably has a go for some sort of resort where everybody goes and hangs out.
Like hedonism for fucking for parodids.
For fucking.
Oh man.
Dr. D down there getting weird.
I can fucking.
Oh, let's go.
He's feeling up a fucking parakeet. I I just see my dad run around with a battery operated blender
It's just a Hawaiian shared on with no pants. Just we need to poo in it. Uh, don't hang it out
Uh, I do need a chat. We do need to check out a margaritaville for sure. I'd go. Yeah cool
Can I get a quick menu on margaritaville? Can you pull that up? Oh, absolutely? Just give me the app. There's a shareables
There's 23 locations.
Damn, that's, I thought there'd be more.
No, that's the last.
That's a lot.
Yeah, we got to think Margaritaville isn't doing
like what an Applebee does.
I'll decide of a highway somewhere.
They're going like metropolitan areas, you know.
Definitely a coconut shrimp's on the menu.
Sure they have some type of tuna. Um, like, uh...
A lot of deep fried seafood I presume.
Yeah, I bet.
All right, kicking it off,
I got the appetizer trio coming through with the...
That's my kind of, that's my kind of thing.
Oh, wow, well, Kippy, this is built for you, bud.
Hand battered chicken tenders.
Oh, the best kind of battered.
Caribbean chicken egg rolls.
Funny.
I crushed about 15 cheese-deg- other night and I love a fusion egg roll
Spinach and our choked dip get the fuck out of here with that nobody fucks when it never comes out right it always sucks
I agree but go ahead. I don't
Key West chicken case idea. This is just a TGI Friday's and they just throw Caribbean in front of the world.
I bet you that's all right.
They throw a couple of fucking bell peppers and some chutney in there.
Yeah.
And I'll tell you what, I'm all about it.
A little bit of corn and some pineapple.
Some zest or something.
Oh, zesty.
Yeah.
That's all right.
You got some seared tuna.
Yeah, of course.
Lava, lava shrimp.
What's that? Shh. It's, I'll tell. Yeah, of course. Lava lava shrimp. What's that?
Shh.
It's, I'll tell you what,
it's erupting with flavor.
Their line, not mine.
Don't try to put your bomb on the grate,
on the way, grate buffing.
No, no, no, James opened with erupting with flavor.
These plum, lightly-brunnaged shrimps
are drizzled with our Thai chili sauce and garnish
with toasted sesame seeds.
Okay, that Thai chili sauce came in a giant bag and was frozen.
Yeah.
That does all right.
Um, volcano not shows.
Sure.
Couple salads.
No one's eating those.
No.
Wags for legal purposes.
Yeah.
Wagyu stir fry.
That ain't real wagyu.
No shot.
That's the name of a cook. Not sure I get that joke. The guy who's cooking
his name is way. I don't get it as a name. It's a parrot head joke. You wouldn't get it.
Yeah. It's the land lovers like you don't get a C fair and humor sure grilled chicken fish or grilled chicken fish dot grilled fish tacos
Jerk salmon real rude guy cage and shrimp and grits
Yeah, Fettuccine Alfredo
You gotta have that on it. No, you gotta have that on it
It was easier gonna be Fettuccine Alfredo or it was gonna be black and chicken pasta
That's better which is always on a menu at a fucking dirt bag spot. That is the trashy persons.
That's the trashy chicks favorite meal.
Fedichino, Fredo.
She just called my mom trash.
Black and chicken pasta.
They always go for that.
They think they're getting a value
or getting that's like the most expensive thing.
Because when I waited tables at Devon C. Food,
anytime some drug dealer came in with with with with a side check,
she always got the black and chicken pasta.
And she thought she was ordering caviar.
I hear you.
Yeah.
Now there's one to be over it.
Jesus Christ.
Let it go.
Jobs.
It was good.
Now there's one item on this menu that you that you that I guarantee you'll be able to guess.
Bang bang shrimp.
At the Jimmy Buffett,
Margaritaville.
Roasted two can.
Cheeseburger and Paradise, come on!
Come on!
Come on!
Well, wasn't that its own restaurant?
Cheeseburger and Paradise is its own.
No.
I'm God damn hit.
I'm thinking of Cheeburger, Cheeburger.
Yeah.
Cheeseburger, Cheeburger, which is Chicago, I thought.
It is, it's the Billy Goat.
But there's no S, it's just Cheeburger, Cheeburger. Yeah thought it is it's the Billy go, but there's no S It's just Chi burger Chi burger. Yeah, that's the they might have someone might have ripped that off
I made their own thing, but that's that's a SNL sketch based on a legendary burger spot underneath
Wacker Avenue in Chicago called the Billy go, which is amazing. Accord and Belushi. Yeah, they make terrible burgers. It's a real good time
All right, I'm with the yell at you. Um, all right. Let's see here.
This one is from Cliff. Are you garbage? If you skip your cousin's wedding rehearsal dinner to go to
Chicago live show, four shout out, fourth Joe, add and get your tickets. Sorry if you're reading this, Danny.
My man. I like it. Shout out to Chicago, baby, foreshadow out and get them take-y wikis.
Nothing like stiff in a family wedding.
Rehearsal dinner should be
Skippable
Rehearsal dinner. That's what it was rehearsal dinner. Oh rehearsal dinner.
Oh, I did. Rehearsal, let's do the best man. What?
Unless you're the best man. No. Skippable, engagement parties.
Skippable. You're going to the wedding baby showers skippable
Sand a gift send a gift send a gift. Yeah, the rehearsal dinner unless you're like in the I mean you can't piece that together
The day you get there you walked down the fucking aisle and you get in line. Mm-hmm. Yeah get out of here with that
Although I always say the Russell dinner
is always my favorite part of the way.
I love, it's low state.
I do love them, but it's like, it's, it's skippable.
It's not a faux pot unless you're the best man.
The best man or best broad, they're made up.
Made up honor.
You gotta be there, but fucking.
This is an altar on fire to guy go
and this is why we rehearse.
What the,
ha ha ha ha ha.
Yeah.
Yeah. All right, this. Hahaha. Yeah. Hmm.
All right.
This one's from Dixie.
Million dollar homie.
Shout out to you.
There you go.
Have you ever tried to move something with your mind?
Yeah.
All the time.
I still try to do it.
I try to do that.
I try to do the force.
And I always try to do the spider man thing.
Hoping that the other world will come out now.
Hahaha.
Over 5,000 on out.
Just a gout real bad.
Put your crystals in my wrist.
Uh, yeah, that's something you always gotta try.
You always gotta try to, and I always try to guess.
People can do it.
I think that's documented that people have moved things
with their mind.
What about, obviously, Chris Angel has.
Mine freak.
What about the movie, uh mine freak what about the movie?
Men who stared goats would sucked but that was based on a true story about a
Like a psychic unit in World War two where they hired a bunch of like
Psychics and people that said they were telepathic to to work for the government
If people could move things with their mind you don't think that I'm not saying
all the time saying it's happened one or two times. One or two times. One or two times. I'm telling you,
I think it might, I think I believe that you think that that's fine. I think that makes sense in the
evolutionary progress that eventually we will be able to communicate telepathically and we will be able to move things with our mind.
Maybe with like Wi-Fi chips or something.
They always say the aliens talk to you telepathically when they come down and they kidnap people.
Oh, the people, the people who lie, the liers who say they met aliens.
I mean, you're not like, you know, you just kind of threw yourself in with bigfoot real quick.
They just found him.
They just had a picture of him on a train.
He wasn't on the train.
He was like another.
He was.
He had a briefcase.
He was going, oh, boy, tickets, passes.
We're not taking any cash.
Now there was a couple that was on a train in like North Dakota or something like that.
And this is how stupid you are.
And they were filmed at Google it.
Yeah.
No, it's big.
Bigfoot found that's the bunked.
All right.
That's from this guy has a farm where you go and pay and like it's a kitchy.
He's a, that guy's a big foot enthusiast.
And then you go on like a trek and it's like a Disney ride.
You see that guy at the end.
I think it's in like, I think it's in like Mexico or something or like, yeah, that's
fate.
What do you got?
He's on snoops.
He was like sitting down on the
Yeah, no, I say God damn it. I hate that shit
Fucking hoax bullshit. I will say this. It's a very fun world. You live in thank you
Yeah, people moving stuff with their mind big food big foot commute newest job. I truck just moved that car just moved
Now you probably better fucking knock over a building
just moved. You probably better fucking knock over a building.
At least make you kick over some beers. I was the one who knocked them over.
Yeah, I try to do that shit all the time. Yeah, I remember being like 11 years old waking up in my bunk bed, looking at stuff, I'm going, ah, that's still nothing. That's why I always like walking
through a grocery store door that opens that way. Because when I walk through it, I go like that of course it's opening up like I'm doing it. Uh-huh
I always do that with like the time people like you know just like what time is it
408 just try try you know just try to get close and
One time with a deck of cards. I did it
I was like, I'm gonna say you're some kids like show me a magic trick
I was like, I'll pick a card any card and he's like he picked one and I was like four clubs and I nailed it
And he's like how'd you do that? I'm like, wait, what?
Well, I'm like, are you fucking kidding me?
He could all freaked out around home.
He didn't believe me that I just guessed.
Tell your mom, she's chasing you around with a gruesome face.
Fucking
Get the devil out of my house.
Nice, he don't play the devil out of my house. Me, so you don't play the devil.
Do you ever hit the number?
Not where you bet, but when I was a little kid, my parent, you know, they always watched
a daily number.
And I, one time I guessed it, it was like five, six, three.
I nailed it.
Now I thought that I had something.
I thought I was bigfoot.
Then fucking boom, my parents were like, what the fuck?
Yeah, it was all right.
Yeah, now I don't, I've never, I don't ever guess that,
other than that four clubs that I'll never forget.
Jonathan AJ, that was his name.
I freaked the shit out I give.
His name was AJ Scorney and she.
The Scorney and she's a lot of name, dude.
That sounds like he had a poison ivy constantly.
Scorney.
That was Joe Gert.
Joe Gert.
Shout out to Joey G.
He's on the West Coast doing his thing.
Oh, shout out to GoGert.
That's pretty good.
That's right.
He was the kid that was allergic to it.
I saw it. It looked like the fucking toxic Avenger. Oh, god. Oh, by the way, going back to the Philly's game.
Tommy Pope saw one of his boys at the Philly's game and he was wearing one of the bad look.
The visor with the fake green hair on it. Like, and this dude was fucked up. He had like
a wine shared on. Holy cuz. Holy cuz time he was at your up. He had like a wine shared on. Paul, he goes, Paul, he goes, time he was at your lawyer.
He looked like his name was Slurp.
Cause he looked like it's going on, man.
And just kept moving.
Shout out to Slurp.
Slurp in the bullies.
Slurp, Lofram.
All right, let's see here.
This one's from Nick. This is a bit, I think we oughta touch it on this a while ago.
$10 shareholder.
Is it garbage to save a fast food cup so you can stop and get free refills whenever you want
of screaming cold, die coke?
I didn't know that they did that.
I think you just, what?
Who does that?
People.
No, no, what fast food companies offer that?
If I show up to McDonald's or the cup, they'll give me a free soda.
I mean, just walk in and do it yourself.
Yeah.
I don't know if the ones in the city have,
do it yourself.
Yeah, they don't.
They do it for you.
Maybe the suburban ones have the thing like,
you know, at the end of the...
Which tells you what?
That they don't give a shit about the soda, right?
Like when movie theaters and stuff started doing that,
that, well they get the soda for free.
Who does?
The companies.
I think that's the deal.
You just have to use all the Coca-Cola cups.
Really?
Yeah, wait, what?
Wait, they get the cups for free?
No, I think they buy the cups
or they get the soda for free or something like that.
No, they're paying for the syrup.
Yeah, they pay for the syrup.
I'm asking you to look it up. That's what I always heard. They get it for free or something like that. No, they're paying for the syrup. Yeah, they're paying for the syrup. I'm asking you to look it up.
That's what I always heard.
They get it for free as long as they use the product.
The brand.
So what's Coca-Cola getting out of it?
Advertising?
Yeah.
All the cups are Coca-Cola.
Everybody's walking around with a fucking brochure for Coke.
Not at the movies.
No, no, no, no. They're like regal cups or whatever movie theater it is.
It says AMC on it.
Well, then maybe they do. I know like pizza shops back in the day.
I heard it from somebody who owned a pizza shop.
Local pizza shop?
Yeah. They would get it for free as long as they use the branded cups.
I'm just telling you what I heard.
No, no, no, no, no. I wouldn't know.
The syrup was always coming from,
like Manhattan beverage or something like that. They weren't giving that shit out for free.
They were charging for that shit.
I don't know.
I'm just telling you what I heard.
It's the biggest,
soda is the biggest profit because soda is incredibly cheap
for fast food places.
The cup costs the restaurant more than the soda.
So stealing soda costs them less than if they give you three.
That's what it may be, maybe I've missed.
But what I'm saying,
the cup costs more than the soda.
Yeah. Yeah.
So they're buying the cups were the money makers.
They're buying the cups for the people who are set like for McDonald's doesn't have
Coca Cola cups. They say McDonald's on them.
So they say McDonald's and Coca-Cola.
They have to. They're the biggest fucking partnership. Coca-Cola has to be on the I would assume.
I don't think so.
Has to be my point is that they assume. I don't think so. Has to be that.
My point is that they have a different Coke by the way.
I know.
They have a different ketchup.
They got different, every different sprite too.
They put it in the metal containers.
That's why.
Good ice, dad.
Good ice, make it easy.
Um, I don't think fucking put it in the internet.
They don't, nobody cares about soda is what I'm saying.
But the movie theaters, that was how you that was how you used to bang it out
When you'd go back and try to get a refill
Now they just have the things out front
So anybody could do that what do you mean you could literally just bring your own
Thurmas and fill up those things nobody would stop you
Really Coca-Cola freestyle and so they call it those machines called yeah
Doing tricks don't love them. They don't do it in the city cuz it would just I think from like a
An ambion stand point. It would be chaotic sure like a dude at Chipotle
Yeah, and that gets fucking chaotic. Do you ever see that? Yeah, you're in there eating and then actually you know
There's like fucking there's 10 homeless people in there fucking you know
Fucking slurping and taking bass and I got time for them. I'm trying to eat my bowl over here. Check it. Mr. Pibbs Um, I wonder how many Tabasco bottles get stolen at a Chipotle every day. Oh, it's got thousands. Oh, it's no
I mean, I remember one kid I remember would just take one every day. I'm like what are you doing with them? If you're see, you know
Just like the juice. Yeah, it's like the steel. I never got off on that.
Never got off on a steel. Um, you're getting me. It's not for stealing a
Tabasco body. I'll take it out. I'm going to be better bring everybody.
They go through 5.5 million bottles of Tabasco sauce annually.
It's fucking nuts. It's a lot. Most, I'd say half of those are stolen.
Yeah, napkins still.
Sure.
Well, they want you to take them.
They do.
They're branded as well.
They have the good plastic.
So you're in the car and they open up your glove box.
You're like, I'm in the mood for Chipotle.
Smells like Chipotle.
Says Chipotle on it.
It's all a mart.
They got the plastic forks too.
They have you ones.
They do.
Yeah, they're all right.
They're okay.
They're all okay. They're all okay. They are right okay when the homeless guys in there touching them all
huh screw me yeah that's what they do I'm 10 steps ahead of these guys
you're not fucking get ever since I saw that guy put meatballs in his pocket
no thanks I apologize for that all right let's see here this is from infinite
alimony never have one red is it trash to put the keyla in my white claw
and call it a tiger claw?
Ooh.
That's all right.
Tequila in the malt liquor is the only thing
that would throw me off.
Man, I don't get you.
Uh huh.
That reminds me of the.
Do they sell malt liquor just as a liquor,
like just as the alcohol?
I don't think it's that.
I think it's what it's made of.
It makes it consider to malt liquor. It's not like, I don't think you can go by a bottle of bottle of
liquor. Like, I mean, just just the alcohol part. Yeah. No, I think it's, you know, malt
liquor is a, it's with, it's whatever it's made with. I think they're the process.
Mm-hmm. Makes it like, I forget. Colt 45 was malt liquor.
The difference is malt liquor is brewed with barley and corn.
Yeah, corn.
Yeah.
So they have to be able to sell the actual just like a,
like a, you know, I don't think you,
but it's not like a vodka.
No, no, it'd be the same way you couldn't buy the alcohol
that's in beer on its own.
It is the thing.
Okay.
I got you.
It's not like a vodka or tequila, like, I got you. Is that a section in the store? Sure. Man, Okay, I got you. It's not like a vodka or tequila, like,
I got a section in the store.
Sure.
Man, yeah, I like it.
Tiger claw.
Yeah, that's fun.
I would just be careful.
I'm sure that fucking creeps up on you.
That reminds me of every dirt bag move when you go to an all-inclusive
and you're drinking like the fucking Dacqueries or the rum runners.
Oh, shit, I thought a rum runner.
Like a rum runner.
Like a my tie tie as you know and
Whatever you order you order a floater on top so they make it and then dump a fucking shot of what and it's oh man
Once I I was in put the con I when I found my cousins wedding when I found out you could do that good night
You're putting your pants later
Talk about paying in a pool daddy. Oh swim up bar. I can get out of
a pool for six hours. I had a buddy used to pour vodka in his beer and he called it
fortifying. Yeah, that's good. I can't do that. Unless it's a car bomb. I love me a
car bomb. An Irish car bomb that is. All right, let's see. Andrew, first time,
a long time never have one red. Is a garbage, or I'm sorry,
is it pronounced cold cuts or cold cuts?
Cold cuts.
I probably in conversations say cold cuts.
Cold cuts for sure.
Cold cuts.
Cold cuts.
Yeah.
No, it's the correct is cold cuts.
Yes, it's labeled cold cuts of meat.
But when you're in the Acme on a Saturday,
in the Acme,
yeah, and you gotta go, I'm gonna go get the cold cuts
It was always lunch meat for lunch meat. Yeah, we were never cold. Cold cuts was like a New York thing
I feel like not a fill lunch me was always filled over you lunch meter cold cuts
And were you hope you were a sub a submarine sandwich subs? Yeah, oh fucking it. It sounds so dorky
Oh, yeah, cuz Somebody team cuz hoogie sounds so good. It does. It has a little personality
Be honest. I'm a straight shooter when it comes to that stuff. Summarying grinders is wack is shit
Grinders sound sexual. Yes, so does hoogie. It sounds like you're talking about loose women. All right, I'll give you that
We are also the best name for a speedo is a hoagie crusher.
Oh, without question.
Yeah, this guy's on a beach of Mala one is hoagie crusher.
I would go with banana hammock.
Nah, hoagie crusher is more original.
Maybe a deli meats.
Deli meats.
I'm gonna go get the deli meats.
Yeah.
I just got lunch meat.
Lunch meat.
I got lunch meat.
There's fresh lunch meat in there.
And they run through.
I got a pound of cheese.
Turkey.
So, okay, they ran through the order on a pound of cheese, turkey, salata, okay.
They ran through the order on me.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was a lot, it was always,
I hated lunch in meats.
I had to cut my cousins.
He's a fuck said that, that my, what?
Lunch in meats.
That's really what it is.
Lunch in meats, I believe.
That's fucking lame, right?
What is lunch in meat made out of?
Lunch in meat and some sausage, yeah.
I think the original term is lunch in meat, which I had an aunt say that one time.
And I was like, don't bring that shit to my house.
And by marriage, get out of here.
Yeah, lunch in meats.
I think it was like an old school, like, all the, you know, old school filly way to say it.
People that would say lunch in meat.
Have I told you about monkey meat?
My Aunt Mary Katzen used to make?
Yes.
Man, fucking great.
So good. I don't know about that so good
Chopped up ham and mayo and relish
On a piece of white bread with a little butter on it. That sounds all right
Let's go
All right, let's see we'll do this then we got a wrapper up here gang. This is from Zach is Is it garbage? Just start my morning off with the Coke zero on the rocks.
I do soda in the morning. Yeah. But only when you're traveling
stuff, that's not a day to day. If there's, you know what, if
there's your wrong, the caffeine thing, the coffee thing, it
doesn't fucking matter. It's the same shit. And I respect it.
It's crisper. I do.
If I got DCs at the house, or if I'm down the shore,
I just don't keep DCs in the house,
but if I got DCs in the house and I'm making a fucking,
I'm making a bacon, egg and cheese or something at the crib,
that's going diacode, for sure.
I'm crushing that.
I'm not ugly two of them.
I get it because I'm not a coffee guy,
but something about soda every morning seems wild. I don't like it. It's short. I'm crushing that. I'm probably two of them. I get it, because I'm not a coffee guy, but something about soda every morning seems wild.
I don't like it.
Sure, you're not wrong.
You're fueled in your teeth after a week.
Um, I-
He's doing it in the rocks like a goddamn gentleman now.
I don't, I don't like call, I'm weird.
Drinks are functional to me.
Like I need to bite and sip.
I've said this a many time big bite and sip, guys.
So I need that.
So I can't bite and sip with coffee coffee is is is used after my breakfast to pet me up
You know what I mean get me out of my car my fun after I was car bloating
That's what so it's like I can't
It's separate. It's too see you know church and state and I'll tell you what
Coca-Cola and eggs is not a bad combination
Especially if you got a, you got a,
die-cook and an omelette.
Dude, all right.
Even if you're doing a fucking bacon egg and cheese
with a fucking screaming cold DC, that's the sandwich.
That might as well be a hogi.
I do love an omelette slice of bread.
It's a smoothie and a little die-coke is old.
You go to a diner.
You gotta get the Holy trio.
You gotta get the fucking water, ice cold screaming water
for the headache. You get a cup of coffee peppy up get the fucking water ice cold screaming water for the headache
You get a cup of coffee peppy up screaming cold DC for the meal. That's what you though
Name it a father the son
Holy spirit
die coke
But we got to wrap it up gang gang. This has been a fun one who we come out and see the boys on the road
Get over on the patreon take advantageudy's going out of business sale
over there at the-
This is the last day, I think.
Are you garbage.com?
Yep.
Friday the 20th is the last day for the sale.
20% off everything.
No code needed.
You just go over to automatically be deducted.
We gotta clear out the goddamn warehouse.
There you go.
Gang, we love you.
We'll see you next week.
Peace.
Peace!