Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Jared Freid Returns!

Episode Date: March 4, 2021

Kippy and Foley are back with old pal Jared Freid! Jared was one of our firsts guests and it was great to have him at Aunt Tuddy's! Its a fun one! PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage ww...w.Stereo.com/kevinryan Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/   Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test.   Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast this is are you garbage goddamn to show we sit down with your favorite comedians we find out they grew up classy or if they're a big old piece of trash I'm your host age fully coming at you on a beautiful day I'm down here Aunt Toody's basement it feels good to be home I think I smell chili and new ports and I like it I'm feeling it so sorry go no please there's the new Pope
Starting point is 00:00:46 Arisha gotta hurt ah very nice timing my untitledly co-host coming at you from right next to me he is the CEO of are you garbage he's my boss so what am I gonna do I gotta laugh that's a good one give it up for Kevin James Ryan everybody hey what's up gang thanks for tuning in as always please make sure you rate review subscribe on itunes still in the top 200 review will help us out youtube.com videos I'm sorry oh man hold on we gotta change the batteries in the kippy stop the show kippies kippies on kippies on the fritz youtube.com those numbers are true to fucking roof and then patreon.com let us what our beaks baby you can go there you can sign up you get a lot of bonus content there's video we played are you garbage with our fucking moms the first episode
Starting point is 00:01:31 you can get the uh the cribs edition of Foley's household Foley's childhood house it's a fucking good time sign up live streams the whole nine yards patreon.com slash are you garbage yes sir do you mention the heart feelings and heart feelings you get which is me and Foley chopping it up a little bit behind the scenes me calling him fat him calling me bald it's a good time big hit of the season everybody loves it get in on it and have a nice shout out to our producer extraordinaire the pride of the chicago comedy scene and we're talking about old town not the bums up in rosamund give it up for toby mcmoley everybody t-ball t-ball still got no mic i forgot we love you buddy it's quiet but deadly over there silent assassin listen gang this is a family episode where we are
Starting point is 00:02:15 going to answer your questions from patreon and with a family episode always involves a little company a little bit of company a little family all right it's kids from woodison's jump street one of our first guests on the podcast he's a worker all right not like the usual bozos we get in here we got a little star power very funny stand-up comedian among his podcast he has jay train he has the uo podcast but he has a brand new special that's out right now called socially distance of course and it's all about the social anxiety of 2020 he filmed it in neapolis on new year's eve it's on his youtube page right now he's a good-looking cool kid yeah he's been down in bokeh for a couple of months he's got the tan he's the kind of guy that if you were a freshman or a sophomore
Starting point is 00:03:01 when he was a senior and he was driving home from school and he's like you guys want to ride home you would tell your boys about it the next day you'd be like yo freed gave us a ride home last night and then they tell you something don't come slipping with a shitty cheese board in front of this kid because he's all class give it the fuck up for the jay train jarred freed everybody wow what a what an introduction look at that i'm so happy for you guys thank you i know i'm glowing right now i've been in bokeh i have that florida mentality you turned into paul rubens i literally my whole life is my whole perspective on shit is totally different now like i could tell the minute i got off the fly i'm like look at these animals looking this way and i'm like look at this whether
Starting point is 00:03:40 it's horrible and it's like in and people bashed on florida for all those months and i'm sitting down there i'm on a beach i'm hanging out living it baby living it taping podcast doing doing as best as you can and i'm like yeah and it's like it's good to be back here i just want to talk to you guys about the show a year in a year in it feels like yesterday that we taped the episode and i said to you i said this is gonna be i want to make sure i'm on this is the bokeh and him talking every time i turn over he's got more jewelry on it just hair just keeps growing he's got a stone crab in his hand yeah holy go look at the car will you i said it i hope people can go back and listen i hope it's is it on the episode it should be i think it is i said this will be a successful
Starting point is 00:04:33 podcast i said it thank you because here's what you guys did you had a show you had a beginning middle and end in mind you had a premise your premise is all set up then you just come up and you just knock them out and i'm proud of you guys because now you got a business that i mean the studio that sounds like i'm in rough i i know but i am so impressed i'm so proud because i i get asked a lot to do the third episode of people's podcast sure sure because people know that i have a podcast and they're like oh you're listeners and well you're this is why you're a nice guy right and you're like you're friendly you're a nice guy you got a successful pod so it's like oh i remember you said you would do it of course that's we we had three other people that they were like get the
Starting point is 00:05:23 fuck out of here they got trash jay trains coming in your bozos beat it and i'm gonna get your shit in the hallway the kids coming in and hi don't let them don't make eye contact we got podcast royalty coming in and i'm mildly successful like i'm not even like one of those podcast like believe i understand where i stand in this whole scheme of things i know what goes with but when i get asked a lot because that's again i have a listenership i i i'm uh you know you start a podcast you gotta get jared you gotta get jared on you gotta get like there's a few people that get kind of you know burdened with this yeah yeah yeah and another person because you're nice though you're you're nice you're nice to us we know you we see it and it's like oh i could ask him for a thing and i love
Starting point is 00:06:06 you know again like you said chopping it up like especially and so when i get asked to go on the third podcast of a lot of people's i know i'm like they either get it or they don't a lot of times like i think current fissures in the same position as me sure it's asked on the third she was like our eighth or something yeah yeah so the third episode of someone's new podcast where they're trying to figure it out and sometimes the person's trying to figure out and and they're not on they're on the wrong road sure and you see it because you're a pro and you're like this i see you guys are walking the wrong direction you guys were walking the right direction i saw it and i said because you're gonna thumb you know listen as podcasts start but what a lot of comics don't a lot of comics will
Starting point is 00:06:47 complain about their standing in life but then you ask them to put a podcast together and they're like well i you know we'll do we'll just we'll just sit here being funny what nobody what the fuck is your show what is the show you don't you you're mad that you're not successful and you couldn't even plan a podcast that you get to put up there's no barriers to entry there's no one that as it's 99 a year to have a podcast literally yeah you couldn't create a fucking uh program to do and it's like and even if you couldn't you didn't have the energy to spend an hour talking with someone like you're oh so what else you got uh when did you start how'd you start doing comedy like if you want to do the how'd you start doing comedy show it's been done it's been done the
Starting point is 00:07:28 bet it's been done marin and then everybody was like just a watered down version of that exactly it's marin and then it's peed home and then it's everything else i can't start you're from cleveland originally i don't know what gives a fuck we're done with it did you start here or did you new york or did you start you started it happens all so i i guess hold on i don't want to i don't want to cut you off i just want to say you say that but the reason you say that is because you have you do have like a preternatural instinct for hustling for business for you know like constructing things not everybody does sure and that's one of the reasons why you are successful i'm lucky for that and one of the reasons why people you know people in you know
Starting point is 00:08:13 that started not looking up to you to me because you have well i appreciate that to me it comes easy for it comes it is a little bit in my mind you know i come from business people i come from entrepreneurs i have the same you know like i come from sales people you're not waiting for anybody to sales people yeah and it's like my dad always said it to me he's like it's nothing personal it's just money that's and if you live that way you're gonna move on from shit earlier than you are earlier than you would have that sounds like mr free through some people out on the street that sounds like a couple avoided contracts in my book don't forget your shit on the way out like upstairs and wake your kids up and tell them your dad's a loser
Starting point is 00:08:54 well i'm just saying it helps you move on from things that aren't working yeah well also a lot of us do stuff where we're just like and i'm you know i'm guilty that you do something you're like i believe and i believe and i believe and then it doesn't hit yeah it's not hitting sure but i also think too that there's uh dude he came in hot yeah i love i love the freed energy it's it's it's both it's florida yeah florida yeah and i don't poke a baby the pandemic you know not was standing the only experience i used to always shit on florida too and then right before the pandemic last year me and my girl just for like a three four day weekend just went down to miami and stayed on miami beach dude i literally feel the place fucking calling to me it's great something
Starting point is 00:09:35 about florida it's great it also has a little bit of european to it so it's a little bit you you know you feel like you're in a different place it doesn't feel like arrest of america no no no no see a couple of guys and thongs i know what you mean beautiful beautiful asses on those men oh man being on being in south beach my head i was my neck was snapping it's and it's so i i just think that it's it's so nice you're also you understand why there's no ivy league schools there right yeah get it right you're like i'm not fucking reading i'm going outside i'm gonna go look at chicks yeah well i we went down for a bachelor party and like i mean we had like coke within like the uber driver got us go i don't just think this is insane i'm like we we're not even out of the
Starting point is 00:10:16 terminal yet and we already picked up i'm like isn't this is a different kind of place is still got his number well and then certain areas like bokeh you know i have the judy jewish you know it's got that new york northeast jewish tin frozen yogurt frozen yogurt fro yo's i went to tampa tampa as a whole another story talk about cocaine i some comedy clubs you go and you go to the super bowl no i was there the week after for shows okay and these people i would be like i would i started a show talking about tom brady because i'm a huge tom brady fan i'm from new england i'm from boston and i'm talking about tom brady and i'm like it saying to them how you guys are like it's like you're my new family it's like my dad got divorced this is my new
Starting point is 00:11:01 family i'm like yeah the you know the new family's a little trashy uh missing a couple of deep yeah there's yeah there's a couple of people don't cousin offers me coke and you do and i said that cousin offered me coke you do a coke joke most places it gets weird sure there they're like doggie you want some you know it's like throwing it up on the stage this is a party town um the one thing about the one thing about the tambourine when the super bowl the the boat parade there's nothing just trashy there's nothing trashier than a boat parade and it's all it's funny because it's great when you go there and you see the surrounding the the area that surrounds the kind of the canal they went down it's like huge you know those like huge bars that they're like
Starting point is 00:11:46 outdoor um if the best description of these bars that like line where they were they're outdoor cheesecake fact yeah yeah i know exactly it's like big seats huge drink big you know a two foot drink yeah tuna tartar tower you know like it just with like tortilla chips they do it real trashy exactly it's fucking raw tuna spicy mayo which is fucking tostitos you know you know the deal rice bottom uh you know sushi great tuna up you know it's great i also want to say before just go back when we were we had them on the third episode and we were so like still trying to find our footing and you gotta launch out you gotta launch a successful podcast so we're like do do this do this we have like our checklist of shit to go down hey make sure you do this and
Starting point is 00:12:32 you tried name and the fans the listeners like the second episode you're like yeah and shout out to all the trash cans out there and against the freedom because this is an snl sketch of two guys launching a podcast he's like you guys are literally doing everything like fight he's like you gotta do it i get it he's like but dude you hit him without shut up to the dumpsters out there shout out to the trash cans i remember he didn't let you get a handful of foot with that one you were right i totally i i'm not so self-aware dude that line this like two guys on that show you trash bags rate share and review yeah it it was so funny because you do have to do it it's cheesy you gotta do it like to anyone listening right now if you're watching on youtube if you're
Starting point is 00:13:17 listening let me help you with your spiel here's a new one okay and i do i've been doing it for a while but making your instagram story yeah you're good on making your instagram story because here's what people and i consider that like join the patreon because look at they're starting a business like don't join the patreon because you you know oh i what's the show like you know who gonna be there no no no join because you enjoy this free entertainment how much is yours a month we do five ten five bucks a month 20 and 50 okay for the price of a cup of coffee yeah a cup of coffee a month get four hours of content okay so hours at yg you know when you need a half a gram and you need it when you most like it's listen no podcast come out on saturday no podcast come
Starting point is 00:13:57 out on sunday except for mine we we come out on sunday because consummate salesman right there this is what i'm saying so i do a special bonus sunday episode because i was like there's some sundays i'm a podcast listener you're looking for something i'm looking for something i just need something i'm the same way i need to go i gotta walk somewhere i don't want to be going to the store i need something just to fill the void of course exactly so i would say to people join it because you never know when you're gonna need it but also uh making your instagram story because that is a that is payment we all consider that payment when you make an instagram story tag these guys because i'm sure you'll like it you don't got nothing to fucking do nobody the old like best
Starting point is 00:14:29 customer service and podcast that's right we always get back to you so always get back to you and what you do and and what people are like we'll make your instagram i only got 200 followers okay we're all looking look how you look at people's stories that's what everyone else is doing so they're gonna go are you garbage you guys got a great artwork you guys got a great great look a name like that people are gonna go what's that what is it what is that and they're not gonna tell you they're not nobody looks at your stories and goes they tell you like a year later you know what man thank you you post about are you garbage and now i'm like a huge fan of those guys yeah and it's like but so everyone listening rate review subscribe like listen whatever like everyone
Starting point is 00:15:07 let's zig while people are zagging share the stories baby instagram stories make it post it tag these guys listen to cousin Jared over here the big thing we get which is cool is people like will tag us we'll go is this garbage right so like don't take a picture like look at my girlfriend's whatever do and then we comment and that you do that you repost that dude that's a great idea that's like the charcuterie like i when i people love the charcuterie as my brother in law my brother in law like a few weeks ago was like i went over to his house for dinner and they had it and he's like oh i'm gonna take a picture and tag your boy i was like don't he's gonna hurt your feet i was like dude save yourself don't fucking i don't even want to be connected to this thing don't tag me in it
Starting point is 00:15:47 how did that start by the way i tweeted out i was going on vacation my girlfriend the next day i'm taking an uber back from the cellar and it's like two in the morning i'm waking up at 6 a.m i tweet out i can tell what type of parent you'd be by your charcuterie board i had no idea that this was even a thing or was gonna become a thing i kind of caught the wave they're just there because there what there is a wave there's a way they got cool they got cool they got cool they're fucking awesome because here's what it is it's um it's like it's like a bay everyone has a picture of theirs you don't need a college education to make one you don't need a skill to make one all you have to do is be able to put meat on a fucking tray yeah take a picture and it looks fancy and it can
Starting point is 00:16:27 look fancy so you don't even know how to turn on an oven and yeah people love it because no people really fucked them up though oh dude that was crazy the best part is that because here's what are you doing believe it's nuts there's so many bad things that happen on a board my sister-in-law does a fucking it's like one from uh steels and more pictures than a little lower down be careful be careful well i i don't want to ruin your family i i know fruit roll-ups and i see well i'll i'll say is what people here's what it's i actually think i've come to this after two years of doing this this is my my come to the conclusion that charcuterie is a metaphor for life where people are posting these and they want the attention of people online so they try to go there when you're trying
Starting point is 00:17:14 for the attention of people online you forget about the people that you live with when you're looking at your phone you're not with the people that you're hanging trying to hide the garbage exactly so it's this is a big so it's a metaphor because it's like what the reason some of these are shitty is because they are sitting there being like put a pumpkin on it because it's halloween fuck you what about the person that came to your party that's hungry that pumpkin took up real real estate i saw you say that one time in a tweet or whatever and i that's all i think now i'm like i can't fucking eat this i'm like more crackers more cheese what are we doing it's a finite space that's why there's grazing tables now which should get the fuck out of here that's not you see that no trash bags
Starting point is 00:17:50 or whatever like down on a counter or like a whole table it's a whole table turning a whole they're doing it online they're like parties turning a whole table into like they're doing like nachos now or they do i have seen that in the animalistic your garbage if you're doing it what's next i walk into my apartment the whole floor is all charcuterie fill in a hot tub what are we doing where are we going with this so yeah i started drifting off what's the best what's the best to do how how's it the best to do it well it's all about you were going to make it's a percentage games you have to understand the numbers meat and cheese what about the plate i sent you that one time remember with the brujut and the and the cheese
Starting point is 00:18:28 that's all it was see this is the problem you said it was nice it's nice but i didn't want to you know i'm not we want to talk about it now i think i have a pretty good grasp on what you but you're very trashy too though you have a great grasp but this is males men make boards like that where they go meat cheese and then nothing it's a caveman board and listen i i like a little big jam and a christini i'm with you man we're all with you okay i but i say you know and women make a board that other women will think that they're like refined sure aesthetic it's an aesthetic yeah grapes on the vine grapes on the vine then you see like i saw someone put it sent me one the other night the whole thing was cucumber who the fuck are we feeding what are we
Starting point is 00:19:13 what are we doing here well you and and here's here's my rule to florida's twisted here the best i can talk to come the best in me the best board is one okay when you show up here's how i look at boards okay i'm first at your party when you go to a party what do you do you skip lunch because they're gonna be serving food i love or i don't think he does that fully might not i love i love the good word derbs love odd derbs love a pass around app okay the best when you are going to a party you say okay i'm gonna eat less because they're gonna be serving food the party i i've never thought that though you've never thought that i'll just keep eating yeah just keep eating you walk into a party full i'm not you're walking in hungry if they're serving but i would get a sandwich
Starting point is 00:19:56 on the way i don't think that is garbage oh yeah that is that is a proof of garbage moment for me it depends on the situation if it's like uh like people i'm not really that comfortable with i probably will get something needed on the way there because i don't want to be the all because all five come on that is a bad if i walk in on it otherwise he's eating shrimp in the bathroom that's a fat guy move that dude i walk in on an empty tank and i see in the linen closet with a slice of pepperoni i can i give you some business tip okay that was a funny joke i want to acknowledge that's hilarious hey gang want to take a quick minute talking about the good times we're having there on the stereo app me and kippy every thursday night at nine o'clock chopping it up with you folks
Starting point is 00:20:39 yeah guys it's like a little bit of an after party for the show we're doing it every Thursday night i have a couple of beers i'll let my hair down a little bit loosen the shoulders maybe draw a getting we take your questions live on the stream baby it's easy you download the app go to www.stereo.com slash kevin ryan or slash h foley if you like the big guy we get the wet rbeaks a little bit it's a good time get involved see you then i have an idea for you okay i don't want any of your listeners taking this because you got to do this right after we're done you he's all business no because i i love a fresh canvas you guys are a fresh canvas listen i also we have to there's nothing better than a note like i was someone's like i love a note when people are
Starting point is 00:21:23 like oh do do people try to tell you jokes all the time i'm like listen if someone has an idea for me i'll take it because it might open up a door in my brain that brings me in a direction i never would have gone in you got to do because you we said jerry street never made a pitch he didn't like i'll tell you that right now call me i like pitching and i like receiving so i so i like pitching and catching i'll take your ideals cut to my office and buy me lunch i would tell you guys right now you told me you go after two pocket we i think it was before we started two pockets in a row you get tired you should start doing your alone podcast on the patreon you do one but you should do one called are you fat just hit just a one second clip of him
Starting point is 00:22:06 saying yes see you next week folks no but fat what's this got to do with me and shrimp yeah i was i was hanging on that i'm waiting for are you got any on you know because it's a fat guy move you don't have to be fat to be fat i'm a fat guy almost yeah if i weren't are you fat i am fat yeah even if i lost the weight i would still have your fat guy mentality absolutely if you lost like a hundred pounds you'd still be the same person you still be a fat guy a hundred so a fat guy i gotta lose two physically yeah i have to lose the doc says two hundred if you lost 200 200 he said you eat your doctor hold on your doctor legitimately said two bill legitimately two bills that is like that that is like the last bedside manner than i've ever heard that's not even
Starting point is 00:22:51 hey you fat people you start with 20 listen i want you to start taking an aspen today and lose 200 pounds stop eating shrimp in the closet come back when you when you come back let me know how it goes what come back in 11 years dude 200 rounds is such a ridiculous thing to say to your patient i know dude well it's my cardiologist he said 200 you have to do a job where jimmy don't mind you're a bridge you have you had a roast chef ross you have to do a bit about that dude 200 pounds that is such a ridiculous well he texted me he texted me that information and uh i it was i started taking the aspirin he texted step one you checked it off the list halfway there doc number one he's eating
Starting point is 00:23:41 aspirin number two lose 200 pounds he told me the 200 and i i just responded with oh man because i was like i don't know if that's a joke or that could be actually real yeah that's i mean that's you gotta do that on stage that's so yeah you that's so fucking funny that someone would say that to someone because it's like you have to lose another fat guy you have to lose me all ultimately i'm probably like 220 now if i lose 200 pounds i'll be 180 be cleaning up you don't have to lose 200 180 that's that's i agree with free let's let's start with 20 at 180 you're taking your shirt off from the back let's get to 280 yeah let's not get ahead of ourselves well that's the whole point i don't need you walking the catwalk what an idiot that doctor
Starting point is 00:24:24 is to even say that to someone like if someone said you gotta lose 200 pounds okay okay move on what's the real number yeah yeah let's doc put the stint in and let's go yeah clean me up clean out these arteries i'm off this weekend can we do it now but if you start a podcast called are you fat where you discuss because fat guy moves fat guy etiquette etiquette like because i told my girlfriend about this podcast and i was like uh it's called are you garbage and they basically they're figuring out whether you're a garbage or not how you grew up and she was like did they get in trouble for that she was asking if that was offensive to people and i was like no the way you guys do it is so great because it's like we're garbage your garbage so it's like come on
Starting point is 00:25:05 in the water's fine we want the party and also you're talking about garbage in a glowing loving nostalgic way and it's like that's the same thing as are you fat would someone go are you well you don't want to affect no no no that's not you could have anybody of any size it's actually the most size acceptance sure podcast yeah sure sure i don't know not the pitch idea but i this is a let's not i love it we had somebody in here that does a fat guy move i can't remember what it was everybody has one i think it was like maybe i think it was kasey smith when she was a when she was a server she would have her friends order food for and she would scarf it down in the bathroom hilarious that fat guy move fat guy move what about what you're
Starting point is 00:25:42 going to mcdonald's what are you doing on the you're getting fries for the way home i mean do you want you know i don't even think he'll give you he doesn't give me the answer i don't think he's gonna you don't you want the truth of the lie i want the lie and then i want the truth i want both i want to hear what when someone's you came from mcdonald's someone says what'd you get what do you say how would you answer that question if i said hey let's try i wouldn't tell you that i came from mcdonald's i was bringing you mcdonald's at home no you were just like i got no more realistically it's such a lie he won't even say he was there all fucking listen but i first of all i don't know what the fuck you're talking about fake scenario that's
Starting point is 00:26:21 it's dude i don't want to plug the patreon but on the patreon we went over our last seamless orders the one time and it was like me and toby were speechless at the end of it it was like a 97 dollar breakfast dude here's like a side of pancakes and shit if it's you're doing pancakes for the table and a delivery that is pancakes don't get delivered can you make sure there's four forks in there please four forks thank you hold on so you let's say here's the scenario because the more realistic version would would be someone you get caught and i go did you go to mcdonald's today i saw the bag in your car what do you say what would you say no it's old what'd you get when you went when you did go i don't remember it was like forever ago it's been in
Starting point is 00:27:06 there for a while okay what's the what's the real what if you had to give up some of the order well well like i got a number six no i don't get anything i had i had coffee i don't know why they gave me a bag and i got no like i had my niece and nephew with me and i got them something i just got coffee it's not man you have no you have no idea how good you are at making up that lie just now well like you bringing in the top of this guy poke is going to his head i don't know what he's talking about kids boncos there's a reason he needs to throw the kids under the bus right away how to get them happy he's complaining about the money he spent on them at this point we're already moving on 20 bucks
Starting point is 00:27:50 he's not in those pants my brother dumps his kids on me i told my sister and i don't think they should be eating that stuff but she's like taking the smell the smell repulsing oh my god you go from having mcdonald's to a hero you're good you're amazing i'll get the happy meal and leave the toy in the car just to fucking prove my kids that is fucking great if i go alone it's not and i haven't done this in a long time no we don't even believe you yeah that's your yeah dude tell me you're so right no one who is told by the doctor they have to lose 200 pounds hasn't been to mcdonald's recently i don't even there's that impossible also you just explained to us how you lie and then you tried to do the line us wow i don't even know if i'm getting answers out of them anymore
Starting point is 00:28:36 and listen are you even a co-host of the show i am a fat guy i am on i'm trying to lose weight all the time my whole life i i understand the struggle we are some pat to go on this the idea that someone goes what you get at mcdonald's i am not revealing that full order there's no way you would there you wouldn't want to know i know i wouldn't now you wouldn't want to know because we'd be worried about we'd we'd end the show we go hey man we didn't mean to make fun of you but like it's a lot you know it's a lot of if it's breakfast at mcdonald's and i'm going home to do nothing it's it's over there's at least there's at least three sandwiches three and two and two hash browns well and the probably a coke two a large coke now i got i go with the iced coffee
Starting point is 00:29:23 there's definitely a traveling breakfast a healthy a traveling back breakfast burrito those things are banging something to wear out well the three sandwiches i could defend if i were you they got there small you can get the egg you can get the two egg McMuffin they actually have that on the menu double egg McMuffin so i don't mean to take us off track no no i mean no we've talked to we've we've this is this is the show we've done this topic already no of course and it never you know it's he never gets old oh we've been to the drive through a time or two we just literally tried to break the fourth wall of your eating mcdonald's and he couldn't do it and we went right back to lies come on dude we still we ordered we ordered chick filet in here one night we were
Starting point is 00:30:05 building the studio we ordered seamless and i don't think i was here he ordered it on his account and they shorted us his sandwich you would have thought like it changed the vibe in the building the neighbors heard about it like it was a scene dude dude he was on the phone with seamless with chick filet corporate like everybody heard from the better business bureau about a dollar ninety nine sandwich i'd like to talk to andrew quomo please everybody everybody got a near full that is so fucking funny i already have your first segment pull out your phone show me your last seamless oh yeah we've done it we've done that i mean that's a segment on are you fat how could that not be it's garbage i got i got a delivery not too long ago like i hope you
Starting point is 00:30:54 guys don't mind that i'm pitching these ideas i think these are these are helpful things the patreon it should be kicking the patreon is cooking baby patreon is at a thousand i ordered that's i ordered a delivery not not that long ago like in the last six months um where i was the only one home and it was such a big bag that as i was closing the door i turned around i said lunch is here to nobody in the apartment just so the fucking fucking cat's looking at him when you're fake niece and nephew that you just throw kids let's go come on you're not ah having a good time before we get into the patreon questions we have to get into i would like to hear about the special okay i need this audience to pull through for me yeah the way i pulled through for you guys
Starting point is 00:31:38 you hear that trash cans out there come on trash that's why he was pitching up top he knew what he was doing he walked in yeah i knew i it's like the gambler i i'm i have a special it's uh i taped it on new year's eve it's called socially distance of course this is um it's all material i usually talk about you know the type of shit we're just talking about of course i'm usually talking about trying to lose weight dating relationships tv shows and there's in the middle of my set i do i i generally get into like you know uh social shit a little bit sure sometimes sometimes but it's like not i don't think people know me for that is this the bokeh effect or what was this building up and use since the pandemic start i had this material that i've been building since the beginning of
Starting point is 00:32:22 the pandemic about the social anxieties of the pandemic not like your grandma dying but the idea that people were trying to take this moral authority on something that was so difficult for us all and we all had choices tough choices to make we all had choices do i go home for the holidays do and there's anxiety that goes with i you know nobody wants to go home for the holidays and make someone that they love sick sure and then there's these people so it's already hard enough and let's say you do come to the conclusion i'm gonna go home i'll wear my mask i'll get tested i'll do all my things that happen offline those are all things that happen in between instagram pictures but then when you post the picture of you with your family someone goes where's the mask
Starting point is 00:33:10 oh you left and it's like i really don't like that the shame and and again it's what the internet is kind of built on and and it's like but it kind of opened up a a hole for me to make fun of it and i'm like i like this for you so it's all the edge door so the whole special is 35 minutes talking about the social anxiety stuff like that when someone asks how are you in 2020 how do you even answer that question because all of us want to eat sleep and fuck yeah and we want to make enough money to do all three of those things comfortably so when in in that process in that you know in that you know engagement of trying to eat sleep and fuck during a year you're also aware some people are having the worst year way worse than you some people are doing way better than you
Starting point is 00:34:00 that's called life so in 2020 how do you say how are you how do you answer that question you go because you don't want to fend none of us you don't want to be like ah it's fucking great it's killing it exactly well it's like because we've had this podcast has gotten successful over quarantine exactly so i see we bump into other comics who are you know struggling i think about you guys a lot hey what's up and i'm like how you doing i want to be like fucking fit that all my dreams are coming true i got a road studio and hoodies freaks coming back the whole fucking i'm like but then i'm like i'm like how you they're like ah i'm fucking you know about to put a gun in there but you're having the best comedy year of your lives i was fans i mean life changing life change life and you've
Starting point is 00:34:34 moved i love you guys seven different networks i gave you shit on that because when i just did his podcast like two months or whatever six weeks ago he's like well he's like you guys have been 19 different podcast network 15 different studios looking for homes i get it we found it here at hoodies that's right baby down here at the basement and you went out on your own which i am and i'm an on my own podcast guy too so i i appreciate that too but i'm saying how do you answer that question it's like this whole thing of like oh everyone's so offended no not everyone's not so offended it is human to go i'm gonna leave out some information that might make someone feel uncomfortable oh yeah it's human and it's like to say that you don't act that way
Starting point is 00:35:12 you're just a fucking liar so it's like again i've lived in new york and i've lived in florida during this thing i've seen the two sides of speck i talk about that on the special the difference between new york i don't agree with the new york i don't agree with florida where's my people our people the ones that are rational the ones that think about context and nuance we're just the the quietest ones you gotta call balls and strikes baby exactly so we're the ones in the corner going we're not the ones in the comment section being like that's fucking right baby killer or the person that's like i'm not taking a vaccine even though they fucking failed science class like so when when you're and again so i've always been in that center of the of the world and now even calling
Starting point is 00:35:55 yourself a moderate like people are like oh pussy can't fucking find a you know and it's like you know what and so the whole special and so i got to like 20 minutes of covid material i call it covid material but it's really social anxiety 2020 material and i was like if i can get to 30 35 with some interviews kind of spliced in now i got a thing here there you go so i went to i had shows scheduled on new year's eve so i'm like how about we tape it on new year's eve the last day of the worst year of a lot of our lives and let's talk about just 2020 and fantastic and so it's called socially distance of course and it's on youtube and i need the audience i need you guys i need the garbage cans out there everything from the sanitation workers all the
Starting point is 00:36:38 way up to the new month now yeah we'll put the link in here so you can go and check it out we'll tweet it we'll you know i love you guys plug it as much as possible i love you guys and and so but i need what i need for people that come in from you know you know the um other avenues i need the sewage people to come in and i need the i need positive comments i need likes i need you to you know do that for me in the same way that you're posting about this show and how great you guys love this show yeah because again we're entrepreneurs in the land in the business of funny i i did try to sell this entrepreneurs in the business of that's right both i like that that's right and it's like we and the reason i'm putting it on youtube is like
Starting point is 00:37:19 i want a million people to watch on youtube so that i can sell the next one yeah there you got more and everything and it's like listen i want and we put these things out there that's our goal and sometimes i get lost in translation sometimes i think comics were were too ashamed to say like no i want to make my livelihood on being funny and it's like it's it's an okay thing to tell people it's it's it's it's really uh a honest pursuit none of us are doing this dishonestly you guys fucking built a studio i love it and it looks great it looks perfect like thank you buddy i i look at this and i'm like this is what it's all about you know like i'm sure you went to people like hey you know to help you out to do this like i'm sure yeah we pitched it to fucking everybody
Starting point is 00:38:01 we pitched it to gas digital that before we started it and he said no and then we signed there we pitched it to schultz he said no shout out to schultz love you buddy and then who had us on who's like a champion of ours not it's nothing personal of course it's just money just money that's right schultz didn't say no to you because he he hates you he said no to you because he didn't think it could make him more money that's why that's how people make but it's so funny because now he's like the biggest champion of the show he's like taking us under his wing it's it's like it's super love the same reason that i love you guys like where you're like oh it's fucking funny and they're doing it the right way and fucking doing it on they're not asking for
Starting point is 00:38:35 shit you know me people are asking for shit without providing a lot yeah you know so okay that's my done i'm off my no so box i i i i love i love a passionate pursuit well i know i love it i think you know i think it's this year's been fucking bananas you know as a stand-up comedian everything happens and it's like you a lot of people are forced to you know stick and move you know what i mean and it was like pivot pivot i remember i like when this happened i was like i'm not letting this fucking break up we did we were three episodes in with the pandemic and i'm like we can't be you know i was ready to check the fuck out because we weren't standing after we recorded your episode we were out front and we were all like what do you think's gonna happen with this
Starting point is 00:39:09 it was already there that's right we're already sanitizing the mics and shit yeah yeah and we were like you're like i think you know if it gets hot it'll just burn out i like that you're like remembering me as a i was like that freeze got a good head on the shoulder he said no he said no vaccine back last april you're you're talking about this thing called qanon and you had horns on your head or something talking about the capitol building i don't know yeah you hold jeffrey at the bleach pellets knock it right out yes so it's a it's so go watch the special enjoy share it share it share it thank you i'm sure it's gonna be fantastic and i know it's gonna do it incredibly well it looks tonight i hope it does so but uh if it doesn't we move the fuck on it's not
Starting point is 00:39:54 socially socially distance of course it's like when people at you know that was a big thing this year where people go of course they would just tell you a story then they go so you know it's all about that shit and i have a whole bit that's like the that's like every time they say it i don't know if this is either but like you i don't like i'll talk to my mom she's like yeah and tina came over and we really don't see anybody and i'm like it sounds like you're gonna tell me you made out with tina you know i was like tina came over for dinner but she stays at home and we were mad well it's just so they don't get yelled at of course they're assuming that you would assume the worst of them when i say that i hear that i hear that a lot from especially down in the burp
Starting point is 00:40:31 what are you doing tonight oh the burps we're going out to dinner you're going out to dinner yeah but they have the windows open what the fuck well then it's like it's all shot and for it it's all like i feel better for saying it it's all the clothing store what is that yeah that's that's that's an attempt they don't do big and tall what's it called shush and fresh shod and froid i learned it from avenue q when i went inside like shod the guy and froid the guy no it's a word it's a german word shod and froid is uh mixing it with uh friend relax gerbils take it easy this fucking guy over here no it's getting uh joy out of someone else's pain shod and froid yeah is it that exactly yeah it's finding joy in someone
Starting point is 00:41:15 else's pain my girlfriend my wife is german oh so you yeah yeah okay um it's waiting from the wedge that in saw that saw that everyone at home drank he said it um all right let's get into some fucking let's get into some questions it's always a hot wait so this i love coming on i told you this all right so this goes out and then we now they can go to patreon is that no no no so when when you sign up for patreon i don't know if this is him just like reassessing letting us plug it again or he's really confused i don't know either way it's going right now he's playing the lady on the he's walk he's gonna walk out of here with 10 percent i don't have much he's playing the lady on the on the ron popeal pasta maker that doesn't tell me ron how does it work again i always hated her
Starting point is 00:42:00 oh you nailed it it's a fucking rotisserie chicken you dumb broad what the fuck hold on you have a mystery you ever watched the one payment is it you ever watch the same girl he always had the blonde little totally bang she's she's a side piece i mean you've ever seen the one where it's the neutral bullet yeah there's a neutral bullet one it's the funniest one because for some reason they made a creative decision to have a old maid like woman with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth you have to look her up and it says and you're like why did they decide to have like a stick like they they do the neutral bullet neutral bullet woman's cigarette if you pose put it in she's just in the corner of me like i don't know it's like she's really hamming it up
Starting point is 00:42:42 it's her big role i'm gonna find it oh i don't know if that's it cigarette woman infomercial just put that it might not be neutral bullet but she's like she's doing a character character yeah yeah on on a and it's like the character's already done with that woman going so how do you do it and then for some reason i'm getting people with their next god damn it that ain't it that ain't it that ain't it so i i don't know someone can someone confine brought to you by philip morris but it's so funny to me that like you could have all you need is a woman going so wait a minute you can but they put it in a character but they put it in she's like something that i love lucy or something like that it was bizarre she's like i don't know well what do i need a neutral bullet
Starting point is 00:43:23 for my husband never eats anything like that he's like well well fran yeah uh your husband's going it's like why do they have like this character there's a lot of stupid people watching those things i like to stick with the basics when it comes out you get rompo peel telling you straight i didn't forget it baby i like emerald i like to obviously billy maze was a fucking ledger rest in peace i don't have to rush out out to the og a real one i don't even mind the fucking shanwell guy you say what you want about his uh you know sexual proclivities but the kid moves fucking merchant a hookers nose or something right all right whatever i think it was in florida do you know they do this like if you ever go to like trade shows these people like there's like a scene i
Starting point is 00:44:01 used to work trade shows i know them so you know they were they got they made their bones at trade shows yes and they got on tv comics bitch can you imagine coming up and fucking trade shows i can't a young billy maze young billy maze doing and conference center and it's like Cleveland but that's like street magic is what they're doing because they're going they're going and now look at the glass they're doing it for a live audience and then they find someone like well nonstick pans nothing's on there at the end of it and they're doing like you know they're exploding fireworks on the pan and going look it hasn't not even a scratch you would like that wouldn't you miss but just think how bizarre that must be to see that in person like on a carpeted
Starting point is 00:44:39 floor yes of like a like a ballroom they set up chairs and stuff and like we would get there be like and you'd be like have you seen the copper pan guy he's fucking killing it over an ish and it's amazing that someone could be like i gotta pick you up like someone would find you like they would at a comedy club those guys are kids are moving units yeah million units it's a who's the new kid the guy that does the flex seal yeah flex seal guy yeah the new kid he's like 45 he's like a fucking short fat old guy how has there a new kid on the scene how is there not been a movie about that world oh wow they were supposed to make a movie this is a little bit different but do you remember the Winnebago guy the guy that would freak out so i i know that that movie happened right
Starting point is 00:45:20 no they were i don't know if they ever did it i thought they were supposed to do a documentary yeah there's a documentary about it but i agree with you 100% like that world seems like it's made for a Judd Apatow movie super interesting right like a deep cut in there like a dodge ball like it kind of feels like yeah yeah those guys all gonna be fucking wackadoos they all got to be fucking hard charged crazy that's why that guy's biting off fucking you know props noses yeah dude this is this should be called the pitch cast people come in pitch it i love it i hate it let's get lunch you stink move it what free does have the shamware factor i custom and salesman sing dance and
Starting point is 00:46:01 dust thank you no mike toby brought to you by no mike toby screwed him i'm sorry he's the old lady smoking he's really he comes in your pitching bits all the time my husband frank loves a pitch uh could be blend jet we just got a couple blend jets it's not blend yet blend jet's nice i don't even know what that is it's the it's a fucking the wand no no what am i an asshole with the thing that cooks them eat the boiling stuff get out of here with that the sous-vain or whatever it's called i haven't understood a word you said in nine seconds i don't know what you're talking about we said what do i cook me what am i the sous-vain i don't know what the fuck you're talking about a blend jet is like a little it's like a little mini immersion blender now it's a
Starting point is 00:46:46 little mini blender that the cup is the blender it's got to be the same as the nutribal that i mean that's similar but it doesn't it doesn't we're a vitamix family by the way now a little bit of cage we're doing all right give it soup it's patreon.com slash r u garbage it's been so fast it gets hot but how does it work i don't know all right let's get into some fucking questions we're 47 minutes in you know we got a hot one let's go 47 minutes and we haven't even got to a question maybe you know i can bring it i love it uh guys so when you sign up for the patreon we will answer one of your questions that brings us to where we are right now oh so these are questions submitted on patreon we answer on the regular episode yeah so when we have guests come back we answer patreon questions
Starting point is 00:47:24 it's a family episode you guys are doing a great job thank you thank you all right this is from joseph tully uh tully would you have or have you ever routinely had to walk to a different sink to wash your hands after dropping a dew since the soap dispenser was consistently out of soap i gotta say that's currently the issue today in my apartment we're out of soap in the bathroom so i drop a deuce and then walk to the kitchen to wash my hands what do you do you do what do you do pump it look at the sink in the bathroom look at we do foley's looking at you like he ever washes yeah i know it's true he is going this is an acting performance i've never seen before he's like mcdonald's washing this is as good as the mcdonald's him asking to read ask the question i don't know
Starting point is 00:48:06 what you mean you're washing your hands foley i'll be honest with you hand sanitizer has ruined me oh that's not the same you got poop on your hand fucking sand saying he ain't taking it off i don't do i just makes it smell a little different and i use i use the bleach ones too i just use the wipes he uses like chlorox wipes for like the surfaces no just and i will use the on his lips right there i'll use those wipes to wipe my hands why wouldn't i because it's not because that i don't it's not for human to fucking consumption what's that gonna do to me it's made for a toilet dude yeah that ain't good i mean it might be okay i wipe with them no it's a cleaning fresh down there heat off that bottle wait you use hold up no not to wipe to wipe your ass no no
Starting point is 00:48:47 chlorox wipes not the chlorox ones have you ever done that no not the chlorox ones that i don't fucking wake you up i don't put a little pep in your snack oh my god that's the infomercial i want to say the scrub and bubbles baby and using these things all wrong plus takes the stains away doing one no not the bleach ones but the the the regular like you know the lysol ones i will i have i have those bleaches i have there's not that lysol lysol is not a bleach chemicals it's for whatever i don't think you want to use the lysol ones on your asshole i think it's the way you said that so casually is insane because that's an insane statement yeah you don't want to use the lysol wipes on you gotta see the shine and no streets plus that lemon scent really goes a
Starting point is 00:49:32 long way i have never walked to another really what if there's no soap at that bathroom i'd be out i'm i'm you're just done you go i i tried i made my brother i think you took a poop after poop i if you're home if i is there no mess in my hands are we assuming that my hands are a mess with poop no not a mess but just a regular regular poop you're not washing i'd just be like fuck it i i'm more lazy than i am sure i didn't wash my hands for a long time would you go right okay so after that could you go right to the kitchen and start handling like deli meat i mean i'm not preferring to but i i could block out my head you know if he goes and watches tv for an hour then goes back to sandwich that's a different story i take now on the couch that's a statute of limitations
Starting point is 00:50:14 right now wipe it on my pants a little bit sure let me ask you this sure is it a bar of soap that you're missing or is it a pump no so we take the what is it the miss miss miers or mrs miers the miers soap and we have a dispenser that matches so we pour the bottle into the dispenser we've currently ran out of our surplus of very very very new money yeah the miers everything you just described is very new money a little bit of cash the home goods dispenser that i'm going to book it with going to miers the miers the new age miers well it's like or whatever it's my it's my there's a lot of dr brahmer's in my house right now a little too much she's got a thing for she does yeah that and we stumbled across beakman's 1802 goat milk soap now we get that for every
Starting point is 00:51:01 fucking present every time from my mom we have 45 barns soap no my mom gets us soap arcadia i'm telling you check it out it's fantastic plug city yeah right what are you wetting your beak on the back end with this beakman's my beak's all wet i apologize um i'll walk to the sink but i'll usually use dishwashing soap yeah well now you gotta get some soap it's the effort freeze you just fucking no man's land out here listen guys enough there's some belief that the germs are what keep you healthy i don't hate it bro you've been in florida need to go for a walk in central park and re-associate yourself well walking here yeah yeah walking here i was like this is a dicey neighborhood dicey you gotta get the z bar
Starting point is 00:51:47 a lot of heroin yeah yeah yeah you gotta get this that's my you need some you need some bars oh my god thank you yeah the z bars is somebody get this kid a bopka way in jesus christ that's my un or no what's that that's my uh yeah that's your consulate or whatever you're you're you're in a different you're in your mullet starts shrinking as you're eating it oh thank god oh man get your back um all right this is for max what's the far this you've ever driven or traveled for a specific food item or beverage that's have you ever made like in drifting at something it's a great restaurant a fast food because i know in college for us uh there was always sonic commercials but no sonic anywhere fucking drove me nuts right
Starting point is 00:52:29 but then sonic opened up in our neighborhood and fucking stunk but we made that a trip we were like yo friday sonic we're going but we did white castle because harold and kumor came out when we were in college and there wasn't any in philly but there was that one they went to in jersey supposedly sure so it was like an hour and a half or whatever they went to the fucking movie set white castle no i mean there's only there's like two in we didn't go because of the movie when that's the only white castle closest to us in philadelphia in college in college couple of ladies man huh wild nights out it was like sunday it was like saturday night we talked about it and then we walked up yeah i want to know what this is everybody's like let's get a bunch of weed well
Starting point is 00:53:07 you would you would never had white castle ever and what do you think i wasn't a fan jaren fan i it's gotta be hot it's it's if it gets cold the minute that again get the fuck out of florida it's gotta be hot what do we do it it's not hot i white castle like if you ever have if you have it like can you boil this after it's got a short shelf life short shelf life yeah it's gotta be it's yeah it's not this like it's not pizza no it's got the shelf life of a goldfish i've done a drive yeah that's totally true i i've done a drive i um my family used to go do drives to this place harry's uh for fried clams it's gotta be fantastic a place called harry's i knew it was gonna be some sort of seafood because it's not a seafood name that's how you know it's good it's
Starting point is 00:53:54 it's because it's stuck around for so far i clams with the bellies if you get clam strips your fucking garbage clam strips are that is a you grow up it's time to be with the bellies because i've only known clam strips but maybe clam strips are the like will come frozen in like you know in the frozen aisle so what's with the bellies is the actual clam bellies of the clam is where actual the taste really sure in the actual clam part in the clam part so you want the bellies with the clams if you look it up clam strips with the strips you can tell it's like what you would hold the belly right yeah they rip it out when they say when they do them well they rip it out when they want to when someone's a child and gets you're a fucking baby it's it's just there's no taste to
Starting point is 00:54:40 it there's no there's no integrity the the fried clams with the bellies and onion rings well done at harry's we would go as a family i bet that was your old man that was your old man's night we're going probably loved it tartar sauce of course yeah a tartar sauce extra more more more and extra that was our motto well because you're i remember from your first episode your dad we asked you a lot of questions you're like no but my dad did that like your dad's a little more rough around the edges more dad's little less dad's love clam strips old school dads do not love clam strips i i can tell you that no he is you can't if you get them without the bellies you know what i mean they look oh yeah yeah yeah with the belly has your drink of choice change
Starting point is 00:55:25 since you've been down there are you doing like mojitos or something now it's funny you've mentioned how many diet coke because it's tough no diet coke when you go somewhere it changes the vibe you change my mom i want this now here's got the Cuban coffee down there i you can't poke you get the Jewish coffees you know it's not starbucks starbucks it's like yeah i'll have a large skinny that's how i order now but i my mom drinks and my grandmother you know my grandmother used to drink vodka on the rocks with a line that was her my grandmother used to do that my dad's seen some shit my mom drinks orange vodka on the rocks with a slice of orange i have moved that is where i'm living in really i feel that's pretty trash i feel the flavored vodkas are trash if you're going
Starting point is 00:56:12 to Stoli you have to go Stoli absolute absolute a little too flavorful for me Stoli's really on the nose Stoli's he goes Stoli flavored that's that's totally acceptable that's where i'm going Stoli on the rocks with a lime i don't know that's my drink and because also i was trying to be healthier yeah i lose weight not be bloated yeah what was the frequency of a cocktail down there for the for the thing were you were you were you making one at like three when you got nothing to do you were in their lifestyle right because that's what you were on vacation the problem is they're in this community and because of covid they wouldn't i wasn't allowed to like go to like there's like a you know there's like a night bar place where people can hang out like they've
Starting point is 00:56:51 got everything so really yeah with like hors d'oeuvres and shit you would love they got like we gotta do wings like a country club without the walking it's all country club yeah and that they're living in a country club so they so they but we would have like five o'clock Wednesday yeah having yeah yeah on the rock we want to drink you know let's have a drink take the edge off freeds get the early part i love it the quarantine really shortened the week for me i'd like it's Wednesday i can have a drink it's been a long week you only did Monday and Tuesday i love it that's fucking awesome all right let's burn through a couple more of these because we gotta get out of here this is from Eric have you ever worn a t-shirt in a hot tub
Starting point is 00:57:30 i don't know how that's garbage but i have for sure you have back there was like i was always a fat kid there was a time when like i was self-conscious about it maybe for like a summer or two or whatever where i i'm i can't remember but i'm sure i have titties yeah and it's holy have you done that let me tell you something he's got no body shame this guy good for you that's the best i i there was a half a second at the at the town line pool community pool where i put the shirt on and i was like you know what hot tub no not a hot tub in a pool oh in the pool the town line fucking town home association didn't have a hot tub freed i tell much money this guy's got
Starting point is 00:58:10 poli didn't know what a hot tub was till he got older might as well been on star wars before after you played polo whatever it's gonna stand um we had a creek where we used to get crayfish does that count i don't think they were real crayfish i'm not in a creek in pennsylvania just saying the word creek maybe want to barf i really felt sick at the word well that i will trash your version which is crick crick is way trashier than creek jump to creek but if you got a creek if you're going yeah down a creek not good yeah it was really just a storm drain which we almost hot creek's filling up we went in there i feel like a real heavy rain one time and i look back on it i'm like that's so we would have got to happen in it didn't they get to get
Starting point is 00:58:51 sucked down during the rain or something i don't know i was too young for that movie now he was in the sewer whatever any who any who uh you were were you ever a shirt in the pool guy or are you a smaller kid i like if you try to come back to that kid wait always but um i also like you know i'm from foley school of things where it's like i put my foot down i had it on for a half a second on the pool i was like i'm not fucking doing this the problem when you're overweight and you wear the shirt in the pool now you're admitting to it man it's tough to come back from yeah you can't come back from that and it makes you look worse the titty it looks worse you're not fooling anybody the fact that you got you were in a hot tub that is like disgusting to that yeah it's weird a shirt
Starting point is 00:59:31 in a hot tub like that makes me feel you know i'm not proud you know when you're like it's so hot yeah you know when your body shirt's not really keeping that much eating you're in a fucking hot tub it's under your hot water exactly you know that feeling after you get out of a hot tub where you're like your body's like not really the right temperature for the air you kind of feel a little sick from it that shirt would make me feel more sick yeah i'm not saying i have not saying i was making right decisions here you know what i mean i was i was 12 in a bad place in a hot tub turn on like turn on like in sweatpants but cool it off um i this is from davmo uh have you ever tried to pick up someone at a wake or a funeral i mean some of you guys are fucking savages
Starting point is 01:00:09 i i know i can't i don't know also what kind of wakes infuses you don't do where there's here's where you can pick up a chick and and it happens a lot actually and it's not thought of the same way but jewish people have shiva calls and the shiva call it's more of a hang right it's a more of a hang you're sitting shiva and sitting shiva it's like i think five days and basically someone usually it's one of the family members has food and every night every and everyone comes over and i actually i'm like i'm a big i'm a big like i'm a shiva call lover like i think it's like a great way to deal with death what a great invention by the jewish figure by the fourth fifth day it's like all right let's get over it enough already have a couple of fucking drinks
Starting point is 01:00:54 wow that's what that apple flavored vodka is a hit the brick but that happens a lot of people that are like dinner every night free dinner you're like are you here for me or you're fucking dinner you know so um but it happens a lot of shiva calls where you meet a lot of like my you know a lot of people that are like jewish people are always looking to fix you up with jews sure it can that it can happen there i brought i there's no question i've been in a shiva call and had like an aunt or someone been like a friend or whatever and go yeah you gotta meet the original jay date basically are you hooking up with them there at the shiva no you're like you're covering ground oh i'm sorry i'm the dirt bag all of a sudden you make a move on or in the middle of
Starting point is 01:01:36 around here you make a move on or when on the bed where all the coats are thrown well they're not there so they understood it you're usually getting oh you gotta meet you gotta meet you gotta oh take my number take your number i'm gonna send her your instagram you know whatever nice um all right let's do uh two more this is from uhuru i love it shout out uh have you ever posted a picture of your car on social media just your car no no do you have a car now no no i wouldn't want anybody to know no one's coming after your jeep liberty i don't know it's not a liberty and it's not great yeah that's one of those things that like the sitting against your camaro i never understood like you wonder that like that guy's never like heard of people making fun of people yeah there's
Starting point is 01:02:30 no self awareness yeah i also i was i saw not too long ago this guy get it jay we're driving there i think i talked about it they got out of their car to take a picture next to a lamborghini and then got back in their car and i was yeah that's the ultimate that's insane and they were like 40 something so they went to someone else's car the car was parked they were driving down the street saw it got out took pictures in front of it then got back in their car and left it is such a defeatist move yeah i think i got back in like a forest or something yeah but think of how little hope you have i know yeah you're like i'll never have this opportunity to take a picture in front of one again well just think how delusional you have to be to post that or something and to think that people
Starting point is 01:03:06 are gonna think you're cool for doing it or who the fuck's gonna think that randy all of a sudden for a fucking lamborghini in his jean jacket that actually happened once there was there was some there was someone that must have sold his beanie baby people do she like that on social media though where though they just let people believe oh sure yeah there was a girl that i used to know and she was trying to make it in something but she posted a picture and it was her name it was a new york city brick wall but then she had photoshopped the brick wall to look like uh it was a billboard of her name for her business and people were commenting you made it new york city billboard that's crazy and i'm sitting there being like what like like and no like if that were me and i
Starting point is 01:03:56 posted a picture like that like oh look at the j jr. abhaka this is on a billboard new york people yeah and people were saying like whoa billboard new york i would write back oh it's a joke letting you know like not a fucking asshole she was responding everyone thank you it's been such a long ride you're like you fucking delusional asshole that happened to people stink that happened a little bow well he yeah he tweeted a picture of him on a private jet being like yo wheels up headed to chicago or whatever and then somebody follows him on instagram and was sitting next to him on the plane and then took a picture of him on like united 52 and was like no dude you're not even in first class it's so funny um it's trash all right let's do one more here excellent what a
Starting point is 01:04:40 fun time here hot hot hot hot it thanks for coming in uh this is from next day how often do you eat over the sink big man i'm looking at you uh this my sink now i'm not that you moved it to the couch i'm not yeah the cat the you just agree with that before the joke so funny no i thought you meant well the couch has become my new sink i eat for i eat on the couch a lot but at my mom's for some reason i don't know it just feels good to eat a sandwich over the sink your mom has a open more open floor plan as well so it makes i love i love eating the kitchen like just stand in there you know what i mean a little cheese a little pepperoni not too shabby yeah it's how about you you a sink eater no no i might see this is the the whole point
Starting point is 01:05:23 of the kitchen island well we got a huge island at my mom's house it's fantastic the minute the kitchen island enters the picture the sink eating it's a wrap there's no need you know you don't need it anymore island's great yeah my cousin has an island and we do christmas day there and that's always the hot spot that's the spot that's where they're putting out the odd door yeah that's where the hot stuff's going the your cool ants there having a cocktail love everybody's hashing it up mixing it up it's the it's the it's the water hole of the it's the cool kids table yeah that's the cool kids table yeah you can hold some court around a fucking nice island yeah come on tell some stories make fun of uncle uncle randy or whatever clean up after dinner then all
Starting point is 01:06:02 of a sudden the fucking it's all clean and the desserts go out coffee's are going around granite god damn it granite love it nice all right we got to wrap this up yes what a fantastic episode hot one maybe the special socially distance of course jared freed all about the social anxieties of 2020 filmed on new year's eve in indianapolis it's out on his youtube page right fucking now make sure you check it out we love it buddy what else you got from that's it that's it just go you know and if you on instagram it's i'm gonna be posting that link everywhere thank you guys for posting of course yeah yeah we'll post it everywhere at jared freed on instagram that's where it's all gonna be and two it came out tuesday this will come out after that but it's
Starting point is 01:06:44 out it's there comment go subscribe drop a like drop a comment even if you don't watch it just fucking get it get to get the algorithm working listen watch it but i'm saying if you know and it's 35 minutes it's not you know i'm not looking easy easy fucking preach to you and it's all jokes we love it thank you for coming in buddy thank you for being such a pal at least we love having you over uh kippy what do you got for him uh at kevin rand comedy on all social media and then please make sure you rate review subscribe on itunes follow are you garbage and all social media yeah are you garbage uh patreon.com slash are you garbage you signed up for all that bonus content we were talking about it's a good fucking time baby subscribe on youtube thank you so much
Starting point is 01:07:18 we love you adage fully on ice on twitter and fully grams on instagram t-bone thank you buddy thanks brother we'll see you guys next week hold on there kids we run second want to talk to you real quick before you run off to go play tag or fucking meet up at your buddy's house or whatever it gives you kids do after school want to talk to you about the fun time we're having here on a stereo app doesn't matter whether you have an iphone or an android don't matter sign up for free and it's a fun time yeah guys a good app there's a lot of good shows on there we're on there weekly baby answering your garbage questions if you got something you've been thinking about this is an easy way to get involved with the show oh yeah you record your question live we answer it live yep we're
Starting point is 01:08:01 mixing it up with you guys live live old hang baby the after party we'll see you there use the link in the description to sign up let the boys wet their beaks a little bit oh yeah see you there Thursday nights on a clock peace peace

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