Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Joe List Returns to Answer your Questions!
Episode Date: January 21, 2021We got a hot one! Joe List joins Kippy and Foley to answer listener questions in Tuddys Basement. The boys talk go carts, the 90s, microwaving food, and Seinfeld. Enjoy! Bonus Episodes: https://ww...w.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage T-Shirts: https://www.PodcastMerch.com Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? You're Trash.
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Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find
out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash now
here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley hey everybody out there and
welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast this is are you garbage the show
we sit down with your favorite comedians we find out they grew up classy or if
they're absolute trash I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day
down here Aunt Toody's basement she's upstairs she's upset about a lot that's
going on out there that and the new neighbors not a big fan my co-host is
coming at you from right next to me he is the CEO of are you garbage he's the
head man in charge gang he's my best friend in the whole wide world so the
next time you're reaching for a best pal do yourself a favor make it a kitty give
it up for Kevin James Ryan everybody hey what's up guys as oh I like Joe's
golf clap as always please make sure you rate review subscribe on iTunes full
video available on YouTube that's important nowadays I hear also patreon.com
slash are you garbage you can sign up you get bonus episodes of are you garbage
every week you get a you can get a bonus episode of hard feelings which is me and
Foley behind the curtains you know kind of just shitting on each other and
yelling on each other and shit and also good friends yeah well yeah we get a
long great off air and then each month with our top tier patrons will play are
you garbage with you guys you ask us questions we ask you questions it's a
live stream it's a good time get involved baby good good times thank you
kippy and have a nice shout out to our producer extraordinaire the pride of
the Chicago comedy scene he's the fucking magic man he makes this all happen we
call him T bone but his mama calls him Toby McMullen everybody what up oh my
God I hate myself man fucking I've never hated myself more than my life screw
the pooch T bone there can only be one T bone first foul ball of the show right
there T bone and gang we could not be more excited to have our incredibly
special guest back with us today this is a family episode we got a little bit of
company in the house we got a heavy
little star power down here if you haven't seen his episode go back and
check it out you know this gentleman very well he has a special out right now
called I hate myself he has an amazing new podcast called mindful metal jacket
and of course he is one half of Tuesdays with stories ladies and gentlemen give it
up for the one the only Mr. Joe list thank you very much unbelievable intro
everything was great the hot mic was horrendous but and don't you find I feel
like trained to clap now yeah someone does an intro I'm like oh shit I don't
want to and it's not because I'm like I want them to hear them because I don't
want to be the asshole not yeah I do it when I get called on stage sometimes
like oh for me you know what I mean like it's just like in your head it's a call
and respond why do you think about this people snap when I hate the snap it
makes me like want to I hate it it makes me want to kill somebody I was
backstage with a famous comic one time a woman and I'm not gonna say who but we
were talking and she never heard of me and she was like how long you've been
doing it which I just like start to like steam because I'm like like twice as
long as you and I said like I was like I don't know like 19 years and her response
was and like to this moment as I think about it I just want I just hate it I
hate her I hate myself I want it's like you don't deserve a full applause I'll
do this yeah it's it's just awful and it's very poetry ish or whatever what do
you call that yeah poetry yeah I went to the store and I wanted to say real
quick though my friend Dave Walsh is a wonderful comedian from Boston he
talked about the clapping thing and being trained he said one time he was
waiting for the subway in Boston and the train arrived and he started clapping
and he's like it's a real mo he's like I'm not even kidding it really happened
for a second he's like that was I'm going to too many companies you brought
this up what about clapping when the plane lands is that trashy I think that's
awful also and say I get if I think maybe if you had just wild turbulence it
was it was touch-and-go you know a round of applause and you're taking enemy fire
you know I guess maybe but no that's that's that's garbage for sure another
big one is the movies clapping at the end of a movie yeah I also find that
gross and appalling except there's special occasions on that I mean I
think I mean if you're at like fucking Sundance or something sure but you're
not doing that the AMC on 42nd I think I did it at the end of the Avengers the
first Avengers we all did we all loved it it was great that's tough yeah that's
stinks all right you know what when I saw what was we were just talking about
Nick Cage movies what was not now he was in the fire the run-up the building
movie what was the 9 11 United 93 yeah that played in the theater and I was
living in Boston at the time it was packed and it as soon as it ended it
said like dedicated to the lives and it you know the plane is crashing it goes
blank and I turned my friend Tom and I said I smell a sequel he burst it out
laughing so like right as the movie ends this guy and no one hears my line they
just hear this guy howling laughing and people were really upset with him I
thought you're gonna sit at everybody clapped at the end of that I was like
it doesn't seem like a clapper at the end of that one no I'm trying to think if
I've ever been in a movie where people clap blew you away like that black panther
everybody freaked out everybody clapped at that one yeah movie stinks I haven't
seen it I haven't either yeah my favorite those we went all we went to see
Ninja Turtles one time with like oh there was like 90 of us it was like you
know Dante and Keith Robinson and Derek and Monroe and everybody we went to a
midnight showing and the movie sucked and like midway sucked Keith it's like
the perfect I got the most the best delivered line ever it's dead quiet he
goes man fuck these turtles and walks out dude the plate the whole place
erupted it was fantastic I miss Keith buddy thank you so much for for sitting
down with this no he's he passed away a couple weeks ago no he didn't Keith
Robinson is dead no kidding snapping at the funeral cool Jack the
shy legs played it was pretty good Joe thank you so much for sitting down with
this we're gonna ask or we're gonna pull up some some questions from the fans if
they wanted to ask you ask us how have you been everything's been good I've
been pretty everything's perfect sometimes you turn into Regis he
hits daytime talk show real quick so I hear you got a new book yeah I got a
wrote a new book no everything's pretty good I'm nervous with the questions
because if they're asked specifically for me I think they're gonna be hurtful
no no yeah why does T still look like that he has money herpes no no no it's
not that ever more general for sure I'm not gonna bring you on to sandbag I hear
your mother's old Joe I wanted to ask you because we were talking about just
before we went on air we had Sarah told him I shan your wife yes and we were
talking about how that was one of the heart story that she told about making
ricotta cheese out of sour milk at her house was one of the best it's insane one
of the best clips that we had and we were talking to her when she was on and
she had mentioned when we were talking about the food that she makes she said
that you don't eat any of her food and then you reiterated that on a before we
went on air yeah that's right how do you wrap my head around that I don't get it
okay well a couple things first of all it's not like I'm like fuck you you do
she's not eating your food she's a very talented cook and a very talented
person but I'm that I'm garbage so I eat four things I eat cheeseburgers hot
dogs pizza chicken parm I'm running low I'm running low grilled cheese cereal
Chipotle these are honest this is what you eat yeah I'm name I just named a
hundred percent of the things I eat yeah I'm not that far off of that to be honest
with you maybe a salad little body I do the same thing and I'm fucking 400
pounds well I don't eat a lot of it I have it once a day portion control big
man yeah I run around I do have a great metabolism and yeah I don't know I'm
running around a lot I guess I work out but mostly it's the metabolism and I'm
pretty doughy underneath the times but so I just eat the same guy have you had
Donnelly on by the way Sean Donnelly is our first episode ever we got to have
him back okay because he's he's the only guy that has a worse diet than me he's
like a very very middle-class Irish diet yeah that's what I got like we went to
Chipotle his first Chipotle trip was with me and he ordered chicken enough it
was just grilled chicken in a little fucking bowl in the tin pan and I think
that's all he had but anyways so normally she's cooking something like
keto and veggies and the business a bunch of shit together like good shit or
whatever but I already ordered a chicken parm yeah or I'm eating a pizza but you
guys eat together but that's what I'm meals like will you sit down with the
chicken parm and she'll sit down with like you know quinoa bowl or I
occasionally you'll get away with that that's I I do that a lot yeah well she
on a strict diet so it's I'm you know I just eat whatever and you she's got to
wait until the delivery guy gets here and then you're eating out of it to go
container no we don't care we don't have to eat together well first of all it's
pandemic we're spending every second together oh yeah that's what's so funny
to me about pandemic is everyone's like the isolation I'm like I was way more
isolated before because I was on the road by myself all the time now I'm with a
person a hundred percent of the time so we'll eat together sometimes sometimes
you'll get takeout together Chinese food maybe but oh geez sorry that was me
that's her she's like running your mouth Joey but also sometimes I'll eat
something that she makes if it's you know pizza
where does that come from was that we talked about something a little bit on
your episode it's my family and this is what bothers me about my family when I
was a kid I have all these memories of them shaming me because I would only eat
hot dogs with no I was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and buttered are you a
plain hot dog guy I catch up on a hot dog so there'd be like you got to eat
more than that he this fucking idiot never eats anything and now I'm an adult
and I eat fish and shit now I'll eat some stuff an aristocrat I like the
sticks I go back I go back and they eat nothing like they're like whoa you eat
crazy now something changed in you so they're they don't eat shit I don't eat
shit and they all use this like it's the best restaurant in the world and I'm
like you've never been outside of 128 everything is the world but I'm like
you you've been to passports yeah exactly yeah best Indian restaurant in
Massachusetts my thing is I had was a super picky eater growing up like I
would like if it but I ordered buttered noodles and it came out with like
parsley I would send it back and I had no green shit I don't want to just give
me the regular shit my mom makes I don't need anything fancy I'm the same way
and everybody my whole life would break my balls I already got there buttered
like just like shit on me and then finally I got older I expanded to not get
shit on anymore and then I go home like look who's eating steak over yeah it's
like you just want to break my balls you jerk off exact exact same story yes
same all right well that being said I have this is a perfect lead and this is
that's trashy guys as you know when you join the patreon we will answer your
questions on the air that we just get so many submissions that this is the best
way to do it patreon.com slash are you garbage help us keep the lights on this
is from Ty Ty Lynn have you ever made frozen food in the microwave that the
cooking instruction called for an oven wait oh okay so it's on the instructions
says put it in the oven at 45 and then microwave it yeah I don't think so I've
I've microwaved things that have both options yeah which is the trash that's
the trashier option yeah I've done that for sure but I don't know that I've
straight microwave something that you're supposed to be cooked in the oven
you're done that with frozen pizza put in the microwave oh yeah all the time
really yeah but I flick water on it before get a little moisture that's
classy so you do told you that you run you run water on your fingers and then
you flick it on there hold it get a little moisture that's a hot tip someone
someone's gonna write in and have my back make sure you don't wash your hands
flavor on there I do yell bam when I do it you got a moisten it a little bit
wait what I still don't get it you put it on while it's frozen you flick it and
then put it in or do you open it after a minute or two and flick well not frozen
in the fridge like left oh like leftover yes I'm talking leftovers wait we're
talking wait you make me have leftover pizza yeah that's what that you were
talking about wait what are we talking about do you take a frozen pizza out of
the freezer that's supposed to go in the oven like oh yeah like a tombstone or
whatever I say like a tombstone regardless I want to get back to this
flicking yeah no did you're no tombstone I put in the oven no stone is fucking
a okay love tombstone great film great pizza but the de Giorno shit you can't
cram you'd have to fucking break it no half of your knee it's gotta be a big
microwave microwave yeah um this guy's that's the executive I thought you meant
out of the fridge like leftover pizza and you'll microwave that microwave that
but first I flicked the water out because that's important oh man that's trash
goo wait hold on who told you that why my mother I think I do it with chicken
parm too you fucking that's crazy chicken parm yeah I think it does
something somebody fucking look this up is this nothing cuz some things like
that your mother tells you I have this with Boston a lot we're like Patriots
days not a holiday and anywhere else and I didn't know Chinese food on New
Year's Eve that's is that just a northeast thing or is that just Boston I
think it's really never I don't know anybody really never did it yeah so
maybe the flicking water is a Boston thing I don't know and do you guys let
blacks in school
Chinese food on New Year's Eve that was it's I literally just two weeks ago
found out that's not a national thing what is it do you think it's just a
family a local thing that your family does or do you think it's do like your
for all your friends do no it's it's a Massachusetts or I guess I think maybe
New York a little bit too it's a tradition up here I guess because
everything was always closed but I thought in America everyone's getting
Chinese food and it was only cuz Sarah was there who's from Texas and she was
like we never did that and I was like you fucking cookie British family and then
we looked it up we did some research and yeah we're we're assholes yeah I know
I've heard of my Jewish friends growing up on Christmas day they'll go to a
movie and get Chinese right but do they flick water on the Chinese that's on
the way on the waiter on the Chinese people as they're giving it to them man
that's flicking water but why do you do you prefer the microwave over the toaster
or like over the oven or is it a time thing you're like I just want to I think
it's a time thing but sometimes again my mother's classier than I am so if we
have leftover pizza she'll put it in the oven she has a stone that's not
garbage right that's a slice leftover pizza in the oven it's fucking fantastic
only if you're flicking water but if you got a stone especially that that's
something that's pretty good yeah I don't have a stone I've never even I don't
even think I've ever used one or seen anybody use one what a cooking stone
yeah I've seen it quit bragging we dug it out of the back yeah yeah some rocks
in there all right this is from Brian in the same world do you cut your pasta on
the plate before you eat it or do you do the standard twirl no I do a twirl if I'm
at a restaurant I use the spoon like an asshole look I make it look like I'm
something you're doing yeah and then no I'd never cut pasta in my life that's a
it's funny you mentioned the spoon I don't know who I was talking to it could
it was on air it was on air with yeah yeah it was was it you saying that using
the spoon is trashy yeah bone I was always brought up to believe that using
the spoon was for children and adults go work to plate I was I was always taught
that that was the traditional way to eat pasta that's how they did it in Italy
that's what I was told yeah I've been in Italy they give you a spoon oh they do
yeah all right I've also been to Italy no he hasn't don't lie to the people Joe
I but there I will say this now you're gonna maybe think this is the airport at
a layover you're gonna think this is garbage maybe I don't know what the water
thing in the stone I'm not sure where this is gonna fall but an upstate
Pennsylvania they would make my my aunt would make spaghetti okay and then she
would put it in a skillet and she would slice it up so it was like she would
make it like a little tiny little pieces and then you would eat it like that and
it makes it fucking so creamy and so good that sounds like rice yeah Italian
I think she made rice like you're like I wanted spaghetti she's like it is I cut
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to the post office again. Now back to the show. But no that does sound great that
sounds delicious to me. So good. Next time you're at home cut up your fucking
spaghetti regular spaghetti I'm not talking linguine or anything like that
just regular. I feel like once you start doing that you can't come back from that
though that's like a road you can't go down. Then you're eating a just with a
spoon at a certain point that's really where I wanted to go with it. If you want
to be like Foley folks start frying your spaghetti please. We made spaghetti pie
that was a big family recipe which is like I think essentially I don't know
anything about cooking but I feel like it's essentially lasagna but with
spaghetti. But basically it was like it came in a big round thing and it was
cheese and sauce. I got the recipe. I just got it. That's pretty good spaghetti pie.
I mean it's something and you eat it like a pie. You take a big triangle slice and
people were shitting on me in the Facebook group about making spaghetti
sandwiches you ever make a spaghetti sandwich. You take like Texas toast like
garlic bread and you just put the spaghetti on it and you can either like
fry it like like a grilled cheese or just eat it regular. That sounds amazing to
me. And I don't think that's great. Yeah I know that's like innovative. I'm like
holy shit man. I like that you're a chicken parm guy. Oh huge chicken parm guy. I'm
like are you like a sandwich or an entree guy. I like a sandwich but mostly the
entree. I mean I'm like known as chicken parm guy in some circles but yeah huge
chicken parm. That's my thing. Yeah. Love a good CP. That's good. All right.
This is from Chris. Have you ever worn a deceased family member's clothes. No
definitely not. My family. I've been pretty fortunate in my life. Like my 92
year old grandfather is the only guy that both all my grandparents are dead
now. But I certainly wasn't wearing their clothes. Nor did I ever. No. No. They
didn't know. I'm trying to think of a joke. Yeah. What do you know. What do you
say. Yeah. No. I know it's nobody's. In fact I said I've been lucky. No one's
died other than all my grandparents. But even if anyone in my family died I
wouldn't put their clothes on. Yeah. Only because they're fucking nerds. I wore
my uncle. I wore one of my uncle's suits to his funeral. Wow. Yeah. My uncle Mike
I got all of his clothes when he died. They fit me perfectly for all of his
stuff. That's weird. I don't know. That's weird. I used to like it. And when I was
a little kid I would wear my other uncle stuff. He was still alive at the time
but like the stuff that he didn't want I would wear his old clothes. How old was
he. I don't mean how old was he when I got his stuff. He was probably in his 60s
when he started giving me his hand me downs. Like the stuff that his wife didn't
want on the wear anymore. They'd be like shirts on like the 70s are like cool
T shirts. It was the 90s. It was the grunge that we wore like you know we were
shopping at thrift stores anyway. Yeah. I think if you if you're getting
close to the thrift store you might get in it from your aunt is no different
really. Plus it smelled like him which I love that had like this old like detergent
smell. What. I'm weird. I'm okay with this. I'm like that sounds nice. Yeah.
I don't know. That's just strange to me. I would just be thinking about my dead
relatives the whole day. Yeah. You think about it. We're weird in their
honor. I don't think your uncle needed you to wear his doobie brother shirt in his
honor. I just here's what's happening in my mind. It feels like it took a serious
tone and I don't want to make jokes. I'm trying to get out of here. It feels quite
poignant and I'm like all right. That's cool. You asked the question. Sure.
Okay. Have you ever worn a beer t-shirt when you were a kid. When I was a kid. I
was a big beer merchandise guy growing up. I don't know about when I was a kid.
Probably not as an adult all the time. And in fact I got sober and I continued
to have because they were just shirts and I have been at it. I don't know. This is
a different question but I have been at an AA meeting with a Guinness shirt and I
literally did the unzip and like I just zip it back up. I just had to sit there
hot. So I've done that. But as a kid and then be like I probably get this out of
my rotation. But as a kid I don't think so. I don't think I ever wore. I think my
like my mother had some amount of attempted class and would be like I
don't think we should have a Bud Light shirt on. You're at a meeting with it.
It's a five o'clock somewhere. It's just soda. It's still a little fun.
Holy shit. Holy shit. Yeah. I was I always wanted fucking beer
memorabilia as my because my family was all boozers. I'm like I can't wait to
start drinking. I want to be like that's what I thought adulthood was. I was like
yeah you just start drinking. Yeah same. I mean Spud McKenzie I was into but I
don't think I had any shirts. I love Spud. He was huge surfboard. Yeah he was
awesome. But I didn't have a shirt. Did you ever hear Regan story on him. He was
on Ari's show. Whatever the whatever it was called. I can't remember. This is not
happening. It's not happening. He tells a great story. They tried to some beer
company. I forget which one tried to do like campaign against Spud. He was going
to run for president. That was it was a dog that ran for president. And Brian
Reagan was the spokesman and he had to go out and intermission of a hockey game
and like talk about the dog. And the story is online. You should check it out.
It's hilarious. He's the funniest guy in the world. I couldn't work out too
well. No. And he really regains it up and it's fucking hysterical. It's a great
story. So stop listening to this. I'm just plugging somebody else's show on
your show needs the money. Regan really needs the game. He's hurting. Yeah. All
right. This is from below what you obviously you live in the city now but
like if you were home or when you lived in the suburbs what's your shopping
card etiquette. Do you leave it where it is or do you return it to the little
corral there. Now I'm a big return. I see I feel like I'm not garbage. I'm a
very if I'm garbage I'm a considerate piece of garbage. Well that's just
being a dick. There's a difference between you know flicking water on your
microwave pizza and leaving the card out for someone else to go get. You can't
leave it in the parking lot. No you got to return it. What if there's a couple
around. There's a couple. If you join it with a couple maybe if it's like the
fourth. I think maybe. No. Yeah. I was I was a former cart wrangler. Shout out
to Acme in Newtown Pennsylvania. This was last summer. I was in the union too by
the way. Were you really. Yeah. You're joking. They make you join the Teamsters.
Oh there's the team. Fucking are the cart guys. Yeah. All the like retail
workers are I don't know something. I had a jacket. Local Local 5 19. I didn't
see them in the Irish man. We got the cart guys here.
That's hilarious. It's just a fat man. I heard you move carts.
Yes sir. I do. I do move carts. You got to return it. It's a dickhead move to
not return it. Yeah. Well the good ones by the way have those things out in the
parking lot. Yeah. A little spot. Yeah. Yeah. I don't like that. I don't. In the
biz we call them the corrals. Yeah. Are you a grocery store guy. Do you guys go
to the store. I go to the grocery store all the time because I buy you know so
I get my soup. I don't I never have food in the house. I go and buy it and then
carry it home and then eat it. And then that's it. That's such a New York
thing. You don't plan for a couple days ahead. It's usually now a little bit maybe
some I'll get a couple of frozen dishes but get a large pizza. Yeah. A couple of
things like that. But not really. Is it all stuff like that. Is it all pre made
food or is it. Do you do you ever cook yourself. Do you ever get like some
broccoli and some chicken and some this and some that and go home and make the
meal. No never. I make a smoothies. I get spinach and blueberry and you know I put
some oats in there almond milk but I never really cook ever. No I'm a piece of
shit with comes to food. What's your soup. What's your brand. What do you go
through. Campbell's chicken noodle. I get right up the middle. I put it in a
bowl and then I microwave it. I flick water and microwave it. You're buying
canned Campbell's. Yeah. No good. Holy shit. They just have to fucking sit to the
20s or something like that. I think it's a nice soup. I think it's a nice soup.
Amy makes a nice soup as well. Shut up. Amy low sodium. Chunky. I'll give you a
chunky. Fuck Amy. Amy's the kind of Amy does. Amy's caps that fucking comedy
shows. She's Amy's cleaning the fuck up. I'll tell you she's doing OK. Amy's does
all right. She makes a cream of mushroom soup. That's fantastic. Maybe I'll check
it out. But Campbell's. Wow. Yeah. It's old school. Well I am a camp. My mother's a
Campbell. That's my family is a Campbell clan. That's dirtbag. They make that
connection to me. Well it's my last name. I'm representing. Yeah. But not
connected to the family. No. No we have no. I don't think it seemed like we're
doing well. Chicken noodle money. It wouldn't be doing this show. Oh I would
love that. Chicken noodle. All right. Another in the since we're in the world
this is from the other side. Do you eat in bed. No. No. I've never had. I don't
have. I eat my wife out occasionally. Birthdays and Easter Sunday and whatever
but usually in the kitchen though. Yeah. No I never I've never had a TV in my
bedroom in my whole life. Well no for a year I did because I lived I had three
roommates so it was like a little room. Yeah. But no I don't we don't have a TV
like I would the only way to eat in bed would be if you're watching TV. Be
psychotic if you were eating in bed. Yeah. Just like just get the plates and head
into the bed. Yeah. So if I had maybe I would if I had a TV in the bedroom but
no I've never done that. Hmm. I think I'm killing it by the way. I don't know.
You're doing better than your first your first episode. I mean storm in the field
when you were 23. I appreciate that. Not having a TV in the bedroom though. What
is that for. I think that's garbage that I don't know. I don't have a TV at all.
That's we're TV less tablets and computer as the manifesto. So what do you do when
you go to bed. You guys watch you watch something on your phones. No I leave. I
started recently. I'm trying to be like a superior human being here. I'm trying to
really be something. So I'm leaving my phone in the other room and I'll do a
little light reading but Sarah watches tiktok in bed but I try to have no
electronics in the bedroom other than a vibrator obviously. So you put your phone
away so you don't walk into the bedroom until you're tired. Yeah I get wiped. I
wake up real early. I have my anxiety in the morning. So I like wake up to pee or
whatever and I'm just like fuck you you piece of shit. This is you got to do
something. So I wake up at like eight o'clock eight thirty and then at like
midnight I'm wiped. OK. So I get pretty sleepy. That's pretty good because anytime
I go into the bedroom I'm wide awake. Even if I'm exhausted and tired on the
couch watching TV if I walk into that bedroom I just instantly wake up and
have to put something on to fall asleep. Yeah see that's tough. I got it. That's
why they say you got to make the bedroom for sleeping only only and fucking or
whatever. I just did to first to the today was the second day. I've read I've
listened to something with fucking some like life coach. I think it was Tony
Robbins or something and he said he doesn't for like 30 minutes won't consume
any technology in the morning. So I started doing that just like yeah. I'm so
addicted. I'd wake up and grab my phone especially with the podcast is like
tweets and right right shit like that. So I've completely fucking checked out.
It's been great. He's talking about the actor Tim Robbins. No Tim Robbins is the
actor Tony Robbins with the fucking teeth. If you know him as Tony with the
teeth Tony with the teeth. What do you want from me fat. He's got the big
jumpers. He also does the thing where he jump. He plunges into ice like a 50
degree pool. Yeah. Oh OK. I was doing that for a while and Mike Kaplan told me he
read something that we have formative years as human beings obviously but you
also have formative minutes of the day and they're like the opening half hour
or whatever. So you shouldn't look at your phone. Yeah. I was doing that for a
while and I'm still pretty good at it because my phone is in the other room
but I do wake up and pee and then go look at the phone. Yeah. I also find myself
like I'm embarrassed by how much I use it because like my wife will walk in I'll
like drop it. I'm like who am I hiding from. Yeah. This is crazy. Well you want
to know who's got the likes or what you got. You got messages or what's going on
over it. I'm over it baby. It's hard. Social media has really fucked us up.
It's the word. I think it's yeah. It's horrible. Yeah. I'm so afraid of it.
I'm so afraid I couldn't watch that documentary whatever it was.
Social dilemma. Social dilemma. Yeah. Yeah. Couldn't bring myself to do it.
On a lighter note from Walter growing up would you regularly pee outside of your
house. Not regularly. No. No. I mean like you were like boozed up or something
coming home. Yeah. I guess so. Yeah. Drunk. I do like peeing outside because
it's a moment of like tranquility. The stars or whatever. Yeah. I mean but I
hike a lot. I camp a lot but like not just at home. Not when I was like living
at home I would never be like I'm going to go take a piss outside. But maybe if
my sister was taking a long shower or something occasionally but definitely not
regularly. Yeah. I would sneak down and pee into the kitchen sink if somebody was
on the bed. Come on. I did that in my apartment a lot because I had three
roommates and then someone would take an hour shower. So I peed in a lot of
Gatorade bottles to sink occasionally. You ever get caught peeing in the sink.
No. No I didn't. Until right now when I told my roommates I peed in the sink a
lot. Growing up my buddy Pat had a little like ceramic stone like it was like a
little boy holding a bucket. It was like you know two feet tall. Yeah. His house is
the house we always party that and right outside like we'd be outside smoking and
like right there. We would it was it was in the corner that you could naturally
pee in. Yeah. So everybody for like years we would just like it was the funniest
joke of just peeing on this little boy and you're just always looking up at
you like that sounds fun. It was a great time. It was a hoot. Yeah. Peeing on a
boy is a fantasy of mine. Well go over to Pat's house. You can make it come true
Joe. I will. Have you ever lived. This is from Charles. Have you ever lived in a
home without air conditioning. Without central air conditioning. Yeah. Sure. We
had an air conditioner. Like this is where maybe it gets a little more
garbage where we had an air conditioner and then there was no door between like
the family room and living room. So you put a sheet up. Oh yeah. Yeah. I've had
that. Would you guys sleep downstairs on really hot nights on the living room
together because we used to do that. That was big. No we never did that. We just
were hot. Yeah. Yeah. It was just hot. A fan. I always had a fan like right next
to my bed. Do you sleep with a fan next to your bed right now. No I would if it
was if Sarah weren't around. I was for a while. I need to have a noise because I
got a tinnitus or tinnitus if you prefer but I think it's actually tinnitus. But
now I have like a little noise maker thing. A white noise machine. Yeah. Yeah.
That's pretty good. Yeah. It's pretty classy. It's a nice noise. Yeah. She bought
it. It's like a night. It was a Christmas present. All right. And this is the one.
This is the one that everybody you know a lot of people had commented on. This is
from Charles. Did you have a go-kart growing up. Oh boy.
Thank you Charles. So this is a thing. This is a funny interesting story. Maybe
some people think it's a sad story. You guys are animals. You might think it's
hilarious. I can't wait. But so I forgot about this until literally this year or
2020. February 2020. Sarah and I were on the impractical Joker's cruise and oh I just
thought of why we were going with the cruise was going to the Bahamas and we were
talking about the Bahamas and I remembered and I was just saying this because I had
this memory. I was like oh my parents went to the Bahamas when I was a kid. They
traded. I had won a go-kart and then they traded the go-kart for a trip to the
Bahamas and Sarah I looked up and it was like a movie where you kind of say a
thing and then you look and she's like she just looked at Paul like her mouth was
on the floor. She looked really sad. She's like what happened. And I was like I won
this go-kart and I'm telling the story like oh don't worry about it. It's not as
sad as it sounds. I won a go-kart. It was at like Stone's video. It was like a
video store slash liquor store in Whitman or Abington Massachusetts and they
had like a go-kart and it was like put your name in the thing and you could win
a go-kart. Really. Put my name in and you won. And then we won. Like they called
dude that's out of a movie. I know I've never won anything my whole life. Shit. And I
couldn't believe it. I was I think I was like eight and I was like oh my god we
have a go-kart and we went and got the go-kart. My picture was in the paper. It
was me and my dad. That's big news in Abington baby. They took it. It was in the
Brockton Enterprise. You would have read it. And I still am hoping somebody can
fucking hack the system somehow and find this photo because it exists. Yeah I'm
sure it's on the internet. Have you looked. Some I think a few people look
because I told the story on my podcast but no one seems to be able to find it.
Does the newspaper still exist. Yes. I believe so. You guys are your uncle looking
in a library on micro-fiche trying to find it. That's what I'm saying. They probably
do it on that. Yeah so it's got to be somewhere. It was probably 89 or 90. Julia
Roberts movie. I'm trying to think. It was probably late 80s early 90s. But so we
won the go-kart. Got our picture in the paper. And then the memory is like so
foggy but I know this happened. We had it and I was like we were tooling around on
my neighborhood and all the kids were like fucking jumping and cheering. It was
like Rocky one. And everyone we were riding around. I was like the go-kart
guy. We never had a pool or anything. So it was like the first moment of like oh
my god. You were it. You were the center of attention baby. And then my parents
were like we can't keep the go-kart. It's just too I forget what they said. It's
too much. And they traded it to my uncle's brother like my uncle through
marriage. His brother and somehow I don't the details get foggy because I was a
child but he had a trip to the Baham he had two tickets to the Bahamas and they
traded it like straight up like he got the go-kart. Like white trash who wants
to make a deal. Did you have to sit in your house and like see this guy zipping
down the street. No he lived in a different town fortunately. But like Kramer. But so
that's a girl's go-kart. Whatever. So he got the go-kart and my parents were the
Bahamas and there was a moment and this part I might have added this in my head
in the story but I think it's real. There was a moment where I was like all right
OK Bahamas all right we'll go to the Bahamas. They were like no no no we're
going to go to the Bahamas. That part I might have added that in hindsight. But
you definitely didn't go to the Bahamas. I did not go to the Bahamas they did and
I can like pictures. We're gonna go get weird of the Bahamas for four days. Yeah
so they went to the Bahamas. You know Bob Looney got the go-kart. He dropped them
off at the airport the go-kart. I got nothing and Sarah was literally I'm
telling the story she's like literally crying and she was like this she's like
I'm not trying to be funny. She's like this explains so much of like all of your
insecurity and like this feeling because I'm always like you know Sarah do you
love me do you like me and she's like this is why like the one thing you had
that you love was just taken away and then I told the story we all went out to
dinner and it was like it was Ron Bennington and his wife and like a few
other comics Keith Robinson was one of them and I told the story and like
Ron Bennington and Keith are like fucking like slapping the table and Ron
Bennington's wife has like tears screaming not laughing she's just like
devastated and like was like do you want to hug or anything and I do think it's
like quite traumatic and I never put it together I hadn't even thought about it
in like 15 years until I was like oh yeah I always went to the Bahamas or
whatever. I mean I didn't get to go to the Bahamas and he didn't get a go-kart
that is insane. How could the value of a go-kart been equal to the value of a
trip to the Bahamas. It was the 90s dude. So what kind of shithole were they staying
in over there. I don't my first question. See again I don't have a lot of the detail
it might have been Bahamas Massachusetts. It might have been like it might have been
airplane tickets only and so that was like I don't know what a go-kart cost
maybe it was a couple grand I have no idea. Maybe back then but not now they're
just cheaper now but in the 90s they were you know pretty expensive. Yeah I would say a
grand or something. Yeah so maybe it was just the flights and the flights were
300 bucks a piece. I don't know how it worked exactly. You don't remember exactly.
It makes sense that the hotel and was covered because that's like what those
packages are you just have to get yourself there. Right. You get like four days five
nights for you know five hundred bucks or something. What kind of piece of shit is
this guy. Was he a grown man in the go-kart. If somebody came to me and said hey listen
all right if you had kids and you said hey my kid has this go-kart I'll trade
you the go-kart for some tickets to the Bahamas as a man wouldn't you be like I'm
not taking this kids that's got blood on it. I don't yeah I don't know I should go
back and talk to them about it back and punch that guy in the face is what you
should do. Well looking back he was probably you know when you're a kid
everybody's just an adult adult is just an age. Sure. You know what I mean like so
he might have been 22 or something like that. That's still too old for a go-kart.
You can't big drive around a go-kart at 22. I don't yeah I don't know I should go
back and get some details. Yeah get some closure on that. I think I'm afraid to
bring it up to them because it'll be like this fight or they'll be dismissive
or I'll be you'll find out they traded your baseball cards to cover the room
service. It's traumatizing but all I remember is I think I was I must have
been like seven or eight years old or something because I also think I wasn't
old enough to drive the go-kart myself. I think I don't remember actually driving
I think I was a two-seater. It was a two-seater yeah. I think it was a car. It
was nice. No FM radio but I can remember my sister in the backseat and you bit
that Jesus Christ. It was a it was a Honda Civic. No it definitely was two
seats. It was black and I do have the memory of driving up and down my street
and like all the neighborhood kids. That's as cool as you can get as an eight year
old. The kids must have been like well what's going on what happened. You can't
you can't be the kid that one day has a go-kart and then doesn't you're done. No
I was and I remember talking to Sarah and I think I remember feeling like when
you're a kid or at least when I was a kid like I was like well that's what they
said. So everything your parents say is just reality. Yeah. They're like we can't
keep it and they didn't give an explanation. They said it like I was
like a dolphin I found or something. I don't know I said dolphin. A dog. No Joe
we can't keep this dolphin. I don't want to dolphin at the video store. But it's
like it's like bringing home a dog and be like can we keep it and they're like
we can't and you're like all right shit but I don't know the reasoning they gave
me but I just thought like okay but yeah it makes sense because they didn't go by
it. It doesn't make any sense. Listen it would not say it's right. It would make
sense if maybe you want it and they were like listen you're too young for it you
can't have it but to let you have it for a week or so and then take it away from
you. Did you have a garage? We did not. So it's in the living room. No we had when
we bought the house this is like an army carpet store too. We bought a house with
a garage but the garage door hadn't been opened in like 30 years so for a while
it was just like filled with shit and then by the time it took like 14 guys like
men to fucking finally crank it open and then we cleared it out and made it into
a family room or whatever so we never actually had a operating garage. You have to
ask your mother about this. Yeah. No I think it's like today. Are you gonna call
it hey. Are you just gonna breeze by the fact he said he couldn't open his garage
door for 14 fucking years. Can we go back to that and then they turned it into a
living room. Which I didn't hear any come on. I didn't hear anything about
construction going on in there. No. I think he just put a couch in your garage and
called it a living room. No it was we when we bought the house the people that had
it before hadn't opened it. So it only opened like six inches. I remember like
all the men in my family like and then yeah they did reconstructive surgery on
it and it's a nice family room. It's a fine living room now. You step down into
it. No no no it's all it's all even nice. Yeah. They really did it up nice.
Classy. But no I don't know. The garage door still there. No no it's a nice
window. It's beautiful. Beautiful. A window. Nice. Yeah. But yeah I should go
talk to them about it. But I'm like I'm actually nervous. It's like traumatic.
I'm afraid to bring it up. You got to me. You got to face. Yeah that's why I'd be
so first of all there's no fucking way I would have gave that up. I would have ran
away with the go cart. I think part of me thinks I'm like what if I went and
address this. We talked about it. We worked it out and then after that I was
just like cured of everything like why not. Depression herpes like it just all
went away. Oh man I feel great. That's nuts. What the fuck they took your go
cart. Yeah it's fucked up. It's really sad. And it wasn't until like I said I
started telling the story that people were like hey man like big fan of the
pod but seriously this is this is really fucked up. I've never heard. We've made
like 15000 jokes about fucking kids and AIDS and race and no one's ever had any
problem. And people were like that's like seriously like an issue man. That's
serious. I keep thinking did you see this guy really
really life. No he's like maybe occasionally at a party. So like I said he was
my uncle's brother my uncle by marriage brother. So he would occasionally be
around here and there at the time he was dating my other my mother's other
sister so he was kind of around but after that they I know I didn't see him.
Yeah he's got the go cart he fucking took off. He flushed down. Can have any galley
once. That's yeah that's wait. So you're an uncle we're dating techno or no no
so this is it's Harry you're it's it takes more explanation that you just blew
by snow. So my mother's sisters were dating a pair of brothers. Does that make
sense. Yeah. Yeah. So my uncle makes me go. One no one sister. That ain't good.
There's my mother and then her sister married a guy and then her younger
sister started dating his younger brother. Yeah. So let's say that's garbage. Yeah.
That's right. Did get married. All cart mixed into. No they'd be in that like no
it's not right. Yes it ain't right. No you can't do it. Oh it would be like if I
know I know the exact relationship you're talking about. I guess technically it's
that would be like if your sister got with Joe's brother Joe's brother or
Sarah's brother. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy. No you'd be shown up to the
party is two different people. No they'd be like yeah I guess technically I'd be
like a nephew and a cousin. It ain't right. But there's no blood related like I
think that happens a lot. It's like you're fucking a girl and then you're
like maybe it ain't happening. She's got a sister buddy. That's so good. Now you
guys. Now I understand why this guy took a little fucking kids go card because
he's already a fucking piece of shit dating his brother's wife's little
sister. That would be an instant. That was a nine. She's like 28. So he got the
go card for the show off in front of her. I think this happens a lot up at school.
Siblings date sibling. I think that happens all the time. I don't think what I
think maybe is like as like teenagers maybe like if you're in school or
something I can maybe see that but we're gonna be in laws. Yeah no. Yeah that's
no good. That's weird. All right I guess I guess I mean I don't care about these
people I'm just defending it from a point of. But yeah he did take my go
card. Come on Joe. It says piece of shit. Damn. Yeah you got to follow up on that.
Yeah I got to get some details. I've only for like the fans of comedy
podcast so they can know the details. But that's cool you want it though man.
That's pretty good. You got that going. It was pretty amazing. I was like it was
cool for 72 hours. It was great. Who ever wins one of those things. The problem
with winning when you're young is like you're like I'm gonna be a winner. And
then like I haven't won anything since then. Like wow. And then it's just been
nothing but losing since. Yeah look at me right now. Everything's coming up Joe.
It's all downhill from here. Hey what's Richie doing here. Because I had two
friends that both won on Double Dare. Because I guess Double Dare was filmed
in Philly back in the day. Oh wow. So they came to our high school and they
scouted up for some talent. I did not get picked. You get stuck in the nose.
Mark Summers yelling at me. That's hilarious. It's fat old shit there. But no my
boy two of my buddies both won the race car. Wow. The race car was the big one and
it was like a little mini Formula One race car. And they never actually got it either.
They had to pay taxes on it. That was the thing. Well they got it. But like we lived
in a townhouse community. So there was nowhere to keep this thing. Chain it up
out front. Yeah. Could somebody would steal a good parking on the street. But so
they never they never got it either. So I guess go-karts it's you know we had one
growing up. But you were hillbillies. You had like cars parked in the grass and
stuff like that. Yeah we were trashy for sure. Did you take the governor off your
go-kart Kippy. No we there was always like you know there was always the bad
kid in the neighborhood was like I could show you how to get that thing faster
or whatever you know what I mean. But now we were we could never fuck with it.
Jody knows your uncle ended up taking the governor. I don't I don't know. He wasn't
my uncle. He was my uncle's brother folks. That's your uncle. Okay. No. No. I have
that relationship and we call him uncle. Like you'd call him Uncle Steve. Well we
Bill. We never see him. He's not around. He's not because yeah he's still in your
guys lives at all. No. No. Is that is that aunt and uncle still together. Yeah. The
uncle's still my uncle is my uncle Brian is still in my life but his brother we
don't. But you'd be kids can fend for themselves. No I don't know. You'd be
able to get in touch with this guy. I could. I would honestly man. I got to start with
that. Even on voicemails in the middle of the night. Dude seriously like not. This is
really bothering me. I got to start with my parents. I'll get back to you guys. All
right. I'll find I would call the uncle. Like yo I want so and so's number. I mean it
was 30 years ago. He's going to fight a fight a six seven year old. Why did you take my
fucking go-kart. I but I don't blame him. I would just hit for him. The trip to the
Bahamas. He got an offer. It was like great. I'll take that. It sounds great. I've had
one of those before. I wanted it like a radio something or something or somebody gave it
to me. Don't you have to have the tickets in your name. They're transferable. Just call
up and say hey I got package number 1814 B or whatever. This is where I got to go get
the details because it makes it sound shady. I got to get the more details. I'll come back.
This sounds like a mindful metal jacket. Two-parter. Yeah. Yeah. No I could put this behind a
Patreon wall. No. I remember like being excited to talk to my therapist being like we got
one today buddy. Get ready. Yeah. I went to I went to I've gone to Allen before. What you
discusses with your therapist. Okay. Yeah. Now we talked about it. But by that point
I had already been seeing him for four years and he was just like of course this is just
another example of not being seen or whatever. And you're like I thought this is going to
be big. But that's the thing with therapy sometimes not to go off topic. I always think
I'm like I got something big. I fuck it was on a show and they edited me off. And he's
like well this is like your parents when you were nine. You're like that. Shit. I thought
I thought I was going to go back to like three things. Yeah exactly. I had he's called my
dad an asshole. And I was like this is weird. He's like well your dad's an asshole. I'm
like what. All right. I guess so get up and fight. Yeah. That's the end of this relationship
out. He's called me a pussy before. He's like you're a pussy. Jesus. Yeah. He's tough. Well
he's used to deal. I mean you know he deals with a lot of comedians who you know don't
really hold punches all the time. You hear Robert Dean's bit slash story. Robert Dean
saw him for like a year and he's talking to him and Alan who's a great therapist but
you know people make mistakes but he was like you got to ask yourself one question. What's
best for Richard Dean. He's like my name's Robert and he's like I got to find a different
therapist. But I feel because Alan is such a great guy. He just you know he fucked Robert
Richard. It's all he's 75 years old but this big moment he just says what's best for Richard
Dean. He's like who the fuck is Richard Dean Anderson. Great. Great story. Joe. Yeah that's
a wild one. Yeah. In some lighter news. This is from the Facebook group. Shannon have you
ever ridden a mechanical bull. I think I did in the drinking days. I think when I was
hoping it was not being your sober days. I feel like I did but now I'm not. I don't know if
I did. I honestly can't remember. I remember being in a place with mechanical bull but I
thought that was more for women. I thought the women. It was like the sex. It was like
yeah it was like you know you were gyrating around. I don't really remember. I remember
cowboy with John Travolta. Yes. Serious. You're no Travolta buddy. I wouldn't get on one. Yeah
it's weird. There was one at Family Fun Center I think and we would all go there. But I can't
remember if I don't want to say for sure that I did or didn't because I can't remember but
I remember being around a mechanical bull. I think I was afraid of it honest. Yeah I am.
Yeah I'm surprised it was at a family center. Tuesday at like a like a road like a roadhouse
ball. No. No I think you're going to talk to your parents to be honest with you. No it was
like an arcade type of place but they had a mechanical bull. That kind of makes sense. Yeah
yeah yeah. I was just at a comics Moheed like that comics. Yeah they got one. Well it's
like the bar in front of its road like a road it's a roadhouse right. Yeah comics roadhouse.
And there's a big mechanical bull that was during COVID so like you know half the stuff
sat down and this guy like came in with he had like the big like yard of beer and he was
like yeah let's go you know and they were like yeah the bulls closed due to COVID. This
is bullshit. I'm like the bulls closed. Come on get a fucking life will you. His wife got hit
that night. That sounds like trash. Yeah this is from Gary. Have you ever have you and your family
have you. Sorry start over Gary. Have you and your family or friends ever worn matching
t-shirts on vacation. Oh not on vacation. No no but like just around the house.
No definitely not. We did like ugly sweater Christmas thing but they weren't matching.
Family reunions. You guys do family reunions. No I always laugh at the idea of family
reunion. My family was together every week. My family is always together. There's like 30 people.
It's like there's no no one ever left fucking Eastern Massachusetts. No it's no reuniting.
I've my whole life I'd hear like I have a family reunion. I'm like that's hilarious to me. My
family is together every four days. That's funny. Yeah new family reunion guy now right. I think we've
gone over. We did it once. We did it once with my extended family. It was it was out like a park
in Wilkesbury. It was under a it was under a pavilion which is usually the kiss of death.
Those general use pavilions are bad news. Not to mention those things are those things are
lightning magnets. Don't go under one of those things in a fucking thunderstorm. I'll tell you
that right now. You'll lose half the family. But I remember they had a they had the grills
that were in the ground and that's what I was like even as a little kid I was like it's fucking
stinks. I always think the bar the charcoal barbecue is in those things. That's got to get
there early and like hope you get it. You got to send someone there like 6 a.m. is left over
chicken in it from whatever the fuck was the last weekend real trashy but that was the first time
that I ever ate dirt not dirt. Oh yeah you know you got to clarify with you sometimes.
Joe are you familiar are you familiar with the dessert known as dirt. Oh no no it's an actual
dessert. Oh I thought you meant like there was dirt in your I didn't think you were eating dirt
but I thought like there was dirt on your meal and then you're like oh I just ate dirt. No I don't
know. Take a bunch of crushed up Oreos and a bunch of cool whip or something like that. It's like
cool whip whip cream maybe some ice cream crushed up or and you make it look like dirt like earth
and soil and the people put like gum worms in it and a lot of times at like trashier fancy places
they'll put it in an actual like ceramic pot yeah and you eat out of there with a shovel.
That's what it was in. No no I never did that. It's super fucking trashy. Yeah that's gross.
Excuse me. That and what's what's the oh Ambrosia get the fuck with Ambrosia Joe list.
No I don't know much about that. I've heard that word. I don't know what that is.
He's at a fucking Congress hearing. Yeah I don't know much about that. No I don't know anything
about that. Is there a trash Michael Cole. You only did this.
No I don't know. It's like it's just like cool whip and marshmallow with marshmallows a little
bit of orange juice some coconut some maraschino cherries some orange orange wedges but they got
to be the ones from the can and you mix it all up. No that's yeah. Is there a trashy Massachusetts
dessert. I don't know. I'm not a dessert guy. We had whoopie pies that's something
that's something this fucking guy comes in here shitting on Ambrosia and then starts talking
about whoopie pies. What the fuck. There's so many things that I don't know what it's if it's
national enough. I don't even know I never had it. I was always a chocolate chip ice cream guy
but it looked like a black and white cookie I think something like that. It was whooping
chocolate chip ice cream mint chocolate chip. No chocolate. I think they like little Debbie. Yeah
these little Debbie's sells the whoopie pies. Those ain't bad. All right. What the fuck. I was ready
to kill myself over here. Whoopie pie exactly. They look like Oreos but it's more like a Katie
thing with some white shit. But I never ate a whoopie pie. I was like I like chocolate chip
ice cream and mint chocolate chip ice cream is is is gay. That's like next generation. I've never
heard of a family that kept chocolate chip ice cream in stock. Well you go buy it. I would say
someone would go get it. And I'd say hey do we have any chocolate chip ice cream. Joe doesn't
like his whoopie pies. He needs his ice cream. I don't know if I've ever seen it. It's vanilla
ice cream with chocolate chips. Was it. Are you kidding. I never had chocolate chip ice cream. No I
never had it. I feel like you're fucking with me. That's like one of this. He's made it. What are you
talking about. It's one of the most standard ice creams chocolate chip. Wait chocolate or chocolate
chip chocolate chip ice cream. I've never seen that shit. Do you know what he's talking about. I mean
in theory. Yeah I know it. I don't know. You guys are fucking with me now. I know mint chocolate
chip. It's green ice cream or white ice cream with little chocolate chips in it. No the white
ice cream was for chocolate chip ice cream vanilla. Yes vanilla chocolate chip. If you type
in chocolate chip that's like that's on every ice cream menu. I mean let's say chocolate type in most
popular. Chocolate chip ice cream chocolate chip cookie though cookie. No no chocolate chip ice
cream right here. It's mint chocolate chip but just vanilla and chocolate chip. Yes there was
chocolate chip ice cream before mint chocolate chip. That's why they call it mint chocolate
chip. This guy's making some good fucking points. It's like you know cinnamon whatever the fuck I
don't know cinnamon something. I cannot believe that I have my financial life is tied to you too.
So terrible. You know chocolate chip ice cream. Of course it's vanilla and chocolate. Yes I don't
think I've ever had. Patreon.com folks are you garbage. What was your brand? What was your brand
ice cream? Briars. You guys are Briar fans. Well we're from Massachusetts so Friendly's was like
the big ice cream. You're better Friendly's and and Brigham's is like a big ice cream. Oh I know
Brigham. Okay you know Brigham's. I know and I've heard of it. Okay Brigham's is great. Would you
guys go to Friendly's to eat dinner? Occasionally if we were lucky. But yeah you'd go over to
ice cream and they'd have the big metal tin and ice cream. You had the long ass spoon and it was
tremendous. That was something else. And they had good cheeseburger. They still do. Good chicken
fingers too. They've they've moved into the they've kind of just stayed away from the brick and mortar
around our area but in the grocery stores Friendly's ice cream is still top shelf. Did you have you
ever got have you guys ever gotten the watermelon roll that they have. It's supposed to look like
a watermelon you cut open. It's so good. I'm doing that. If you go to any ice cream shop in America
they have chocolate chip. They don't have watermelon rolls or whatever the fuck you're
talking about. It's in the grocery store. Yeah no chocolate chip standard. You go to any ice cream
shop. It's vanilla chocolate strawberry chocolate chip. It's in there. Bang. All right. What about a
milkshake. What are you going for milkshake. I like a vanilla milkshake. Chocolate is too much.
Vanilla milkshake is I like that. Now what's a milkshake. Exactly.
You ever get a fribble at Friendly's. I love a fribble which is a milkshake. It is a milkshake
right. Yeah I think so but I love a fribble and that's another thing I thought was a standard thing
and I went to like Texas and I was like I'm going to get a fribble and like Sarah's parents fucking
shot me in the face. I went out with this guy. The first the first meal I ever had with Sarah's
family. I'm like meeting the in-laws the whole thing and I we went to breakfast and I ordered
chocolate milk and her dad was a big guy from South Africa and he went chocolate milk is for
kiddies and he basically just called me a pussy like he was just like I was like I like it and he's
like and basically he called me a bitch right to my face. I was like I was 38 years old. I picture
Elaine's dad for some reason. Yeah that's exactly what it felt like. Well tell him we're frightened
and we have to leave. That's my all-time favorite. You're not walking down the street with me and
my daughter drinking a fribble. That is the fucking all-time line. That's one of those episodes that
like I didn't see for like three or like for like years you know I just never made it through my
cycle and then I just saw it. It's such a good episode. Oh when Jerry's like I can't go back out
there. I can't go back out there. You're supposed to be the funny guy. Amazing. Amazing. He blew his
brains out all over the Pacific. The two of them reason for their drinks at the same time.
Beautiful. Cranberry juice with two limes. How about a scotch with plenty ice.
Shout out to Seinfeld. It's a wonderful show. Pretty good stuff. This is from Dom on the Facebook
group. Has anyone you know been on a game show or attempted to be one on one. My friend Derek
is a merchant marine and he was in he lived in Long Beach and they got into their uniforms
and went to Price's rut. They didn't get on. Nice. But they had the uniforms and so they went down
there. I don't think they got on. They did not get on. I'm trying to think of other. I remember my
friend submitting for Family Feud and they was on like a waiting list but he didn't get on either.
And then there was a comic that got on Jeopardy. Who. Raj. Raj Sivaraman. I don't know how to say
his name. Really. Yeah. Did he do well. I think he did really well. I think he was winning and he
lost in the in final Jeopardy. I believe I always root for people in uniform on Price's right.
Yeah. That's a that's a good way to get on. And he had gained quite a few pounds. So he had like
it was like a skin tight burst to get the uniform which is always fun. Raj Sivaraman. I think is
how you say his name. I feel bad. Sorry Raj. If you're definitely not watching this. People that
have been on Jeopardy and done well don't probably watch this show. Can Jennings hit this.
I love the show. That blind guy too. Yeah. I don't know his name. All right. This is from Tim.
Actually no. Yeah. I guess we'll do it. Have you ever carried a flask back in your drinking days.
Oh yes. Are you kidding. That's all I got for gifts was flasks every year. It's like
a new flat. I had like a pile of flasks. Yeah. I was all about the flask.
Every wedding I've ever been to I had a flask. That's a big room. Yes. Exactly.
Love it. Love getting. I mean getting drunk at a wedding is a good time.
Yes. Sorry. I know you're sober. That's all right. No. I'm thinking I'm like good fun.
Should bring up the go card again. Later nerd. You're getting fucked up right.
Sorry. I just from Carly. Do you have a go to game at a carnival fair or boardwalk.
Is there something you're really kind of you kind of you kind of claim that you're good at or you
have a go to. No. I mean basketball the basketball thing I like. I can do that pretty well and I
like ski ball but definitely not like I'm going to go there and fucking show you guys. I'm going to
fuck some shit up but I think basketball I'm pretty good but those things are funky. I think the rims
are all right. They're like cameras. Yeah. Yeah. That's also a real trash thing to make
stand in it like they dent the rims in a bottle. I hate when they yell at you when you walk by
especially with like your girlfriend any prize any song. Yeah. Come on. What about you big guy.
You want to come up and take a shot. Yeah. But no definitely not a go to. I like a dunk tank.
Those are fun. I've told the story on here before but why would boardwalk the dunk tank guy down
there. He was like five five smoke sigs painted faces a clown but just get wasted and he'd sit
there and it was the 90s in Wildwood so it's rough. Right. And this guy I mean PC was out the fucking
window with this guy. Dude any whatever your ethnicity whatever deformity you had he's calling
you out right. Wow. To the point where like there would be the groups of like because he did he
worked until like 2 a.m. or whatever and there would be groups of fucking like 15 people just
waiting to kick his ass that he had like a secret trap door. He had like a police escort to get
home. That should be a show or a movie or documentary or web theory. People would throw
us they would grab pool cues and like stat try to stab at him. It was fucking nuts. Wow. He called
me a fat piece of shit at least 15 times. Yeah. That should be a show. Somebody should write that.
I'm too lazy. This is from David. Have you ever collected coupons from pizza boxes for a free
pizza. No. No. Never did that. My mother was a big coupon collector but not from pizza box.
She had a whole she had like a little red satchel full of things but you know we were poor.
We had magnets. They give you a little like a pizza slice. Shout out to Palermo's. They give
you a little pizza slice and once you made a complete pie. Oh that's pretty good. It's like
trivial pursuit. Yeah. We got to give the magnets back. We always wanted to get the magnets. Yeah
weird right. That is kind of strange. It's like a pizza casino. We do we'll cut my mom cuts them
out but we never use them. So we have like 20 free pizzas. Where is it on the box. A lot of
times it's on the box. You like cut it's like you know redeem for you know save 10 for a free
pizza or something. No we never had that. Yeah. You know what else was a good time as a kid saving
that little white table playing with that. Yeah. Yeah. That was fun. He's been around. Yeah. Yeah.
That thing was great. It was like an ottoman. Yeah. For the G.I. Joe's. Oh yeah. They got involved
for sure. Their pizza. I'd put it right in my ass.
Let me keep the cheese right. All right. This is we'll do one or two more. I've lost the name
here but is your hometown known for anything. Oh yeah. Chocolate chip cookie. We invented the
chocolate chip cookie. Have you heard of those. It's always cookies with this fucking guy. Whitman
Massachusetts. You can look it up. No one ever believes me. It fucking makes me mad. People are
like I looked it up. I'm like what do you think about that. What am I an asshole. Chocolate chip
cookie is looking it up. Chocolate chip cookie was invented in Whitman Massachusetts. My hometown
the Joe list is lying. The original recipe was created in the late says Massachusetts. Yeah. I'll
give you that Ruth Wakefield Whitman mass. Oh the Toll House restaurant. Yep. Yes. Burn down
right. That's where I grew up like a couple hundred yards from the Toll House cookie place
whatever. Did it smell like cookies. Well it burned down before it burned. The cookie factory burned
but the sign was what you want to do is go down. But anyways great show. Yeah.
But yeah no so that's that's what my town is known for. Do you have anything. No but I did I did the
burn thing once and we were doing I was doing a children's play. That's why that's all home run
line. I was we were doing a children's play. We're doing Winnie the Pooh in front of like a
packed little theater of like 140 little kids and my buddy my roommate who was playing rabbit and I
was Eor. Oh there was ever a perfect cast and we were out the night before getting all fucked up
and we were fucking in there doing the play and he's supposed to come out and deliver a line
saying Piglet's House blew away. That was the line but he came out and he was like Piglet's
House burned down and fucking dude 140 kids. I mean I mean he's OK to fucking make up for it.
Cancel. Yeah. That's it buddy. Let's wrap this up. This has been a great time. Joe. Thank you so
much for sitting down with us and answering the Patreon questions. We appreciate everybody's
questions. We love you guys. We thank you guys. Anything else you want the folks out there to
know that you got coming up. Yes. I also started all I do is podcast now. I started a third
show. It's with Ron on Hirschberg. I don't know if you guys know Ron. It's great. He's wonderful
and it's called Joe and Ron on Talk Movies. It's on my YouTube and we're just kind of going through
movies reviewing movies whatever it is and it's a good time. He's got some real fucking horrible
takes and so I trash him. It's on my YouTube subscribe to my YouTube Joe and Ron on Talk Movies.
Very nice buddy. Thank you so much. Kippy what do you got for the gang out there.
As always please make sure you're ready to subscribe on iTunes number 88 as of today.
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