Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Josh Potter: Buffalo Garbage
Episode Date: July 20, 2020This week comedian and podcaster Josh Potter is put to the test. Josh shares stories of trashy food, trashy towns and trashy vacations. You know Josh from Your Moms House podcast. Support our Spo...nsors: https://yokratom.com For a 60$ Kilo Today! Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Forman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?
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Hey, what's up, everybody? Welcome to the R.U. Garbage Comedy podcast.
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Welcome to another exciting edition of R.U. Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash.
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Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is R.U. Garbage, the show where we sit down with your favorite comedians and find out if they grew up classy or if they're complete trash.
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Yes, sir. And gang, we could not be more excited to have our very special guest with us here today through the magic of satellite technology, coax cable.
Got a man on location right now.
5G. This young man is a very funny stand-up comedian. He performs all over the country.
You know him from your mom's house with Tom Segura and Christina P. He's the fucking pride of Buffalo.
But the big question everybody's mind today is he garbage? And I got to say he was 15 minutes late and he's sitting in front of an Asian blind.
So I'm going to go with the fucking yes. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Mr. Josh Potter, everybody.
I'm so sorry for being, I was going to apologize in front about being late. I'm so sorry.
Don't be sorry. I said 545, but I also was getting in a fight with my landlord.
Yeah. That's what we want to hear. I was going to ask you why you were late. That's good. Duke, get out with the fucking super.
Once I saw that it was 2.30, I could have easily had been able to jump down, but my landlord and I were arguing. I have, I put my cigarette butts.
That's it.
That's it, Josh. Thanks so much for being against me.
I diligently put them in empty cans and then I put the cans in. There's an old barbecue that's here.
And I put the cans in there and then when enough cans compile, I go to the hobo.
This is red feather that lives at the corner.
You stick them with fucking cigarette butts in the cans when he's got a deposit.
Hey, if you stick a little bit of work, you can't just do free money.
You gotta keep them honest.
Yeah, he takes a couple minutes to take the butts out and he's got all those cans.
So I have this system and then he's telling me he's finding cigarette butts and I go, they are not mine.
How dare you.
If you check the old barbecue inside the Red Bull cans, you'll get free, I might add.
Ask Russi the hobo. He'll back me up.
That's fucking great feathers.
His name and he's down right at the corner and I'll bring him down here to testify right now.
Holy shit. I knew we were going to hit it off.
I love you already. I'll tell you that.
I was wondering why you might be late.
I was thinking that you were microwaving some nachos or something like that.
Fighting with the landlord. That is fucking perfect.
Josh Potter, we're happy to have you here.
So where was it left with the landlord?
I showed him. I said, this is my system.
He pulled out the charts and stuff.
I apologize. I'll deal with the others or something like that.
The others. That's great.
Well, the other smokers.
Now, where are you coming at us from?
I'm guessing it's not the Hamptons or Kenny Bunkport.
Oh, no, I live in East Hollywood.
Nice. All right. OK.
That piece of California right in the shadow of the Griffith Observatory.
Oh, an aristocrat.
It's not very. No, it's not.
I say that the shadows behind the dumpster.
It's like Times Square for L.A.
Basically, there you go.
Rubble without a clue.
We're having a fuck. It was called James Dean.
Yeah, not not.
But a couple of miles away is where.
The subway exits out of speed, you know, when it's not finished.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Subway explodes out of the end.
That's at Hollywood.
That's at the Hollywood and Highland Station, where they ran out of money.
Yeah. Originally, you're from Buffalo.
I am indeed. Yes.
Which is a blue collar town.
Adult. Yes. 30 years I spent there.
What was the what was the situation growing up now?
Did you have brothers and sisters, mom and dad?
Tell us the origin story.
My father is an immigrant from the Middle East.
Who's a well, he's Greek, but he grew up in the Middle East.
And then he came to Buffalo and my mom never lived anywhere else in her entire life.
Okay. Buffalo forever.
So I love that.
I love that.
I love that.
I love that.
And a trait in a person.
Wow.
Hunkers down and stays there for the long haul, dude.
Not only that, up until two months ago, lived in the same building.
Wow.
Holy shit.
Like born, raised, grew up, bought, had a family in,
and then I thought was going to die in,
but then decided to sell it at the last second, you know,
housing troubles and whatnot, a kind of me and all that.
Make a little bit of cash.
I feel that's like a, is that a Buffalo?
That's, that's, I don't think I've ever been to Buffalo,
but the picture I have in my head is like,
it's one of those towns like the blue collar.
It's like lifetimers.
Like they're in there and they just stay forever.
It's like hard to break out of that cycle.
There was like an exodus at one point in the nineties.
I remember like, you know,
it was one of those places that was booming during the rust belt
times and factories and all that shit.
And then, you know, the late eighties, early nineties came
and everything was like tech, you know,
so like when everything was surging,
like when Clinton was president and everything was like blowing
up and everything was like the economy's out of control
and places like Buffalo, it was, people were leaving in mass.
It was tanky.
Like Charlotte and Nevada and like all this other stuff.
So then when 2008 happened, it was like everyone caught up to us.
You guys were ahead of the game.
You're like, yeah, it was a home game for you guys.
So it's pretty easy on us.
We're like, this is just what we've been doing.
Welcome to Buffalo everybody.
Yeah, right.
When global warming comes in and everything like that,
Buffalo is going to be like a destination.
It's going to be beachfront property.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So did you grow up in a single family home?
Did you grow up in an apartment?
Were you in?
We had like, so like my, my mother's grandparents,
so my great grandparents or whatever built a home and they,
it was like a duplex, like an upper,
upper and lower situation to family home.
Okay.
And they always kind of did the like,
so the one family lived in it and then one of the kids families,
and then they'd switch and another kid's family kind of just kept going.
Even my sister did that for a little while.
She lived in there.
And, and then finally like,
it came to the point where my sister was like, I'm buying my own house.
And then I was like, well, I'm never living there ever.
The family shunned her after that.
Yeah.
And my parents divorced.
So like my mom was like, I can't afford.
My dad is such a financial genius that he decided to refinance a home
that he like completely owned.
Right before the housing bubble burst.
Oh, my mom was paying rent on a family home or rent or mortgage,
whatever it is on a family home, you know, here in 20,
you know, the last 10 years or whatever, a new,
a new lease or a new mortgage.
A new mortgage on a house that your family built and once owned.
Yeah, exactly.
So my dad fucked her with that.
That was like, you know what?
I'm out of here.
I think we should see other people.
Yeah.
Mortgage is in your name.
Right.
I'll see you later.
What did I'm going to go?
What did your dad do for a living?
He always worked in restaurants.
He like would run them or classic great.
Yeah.
He's owned diners and sold them and then owned him.
He owned a diner called hot dog heaven for a couple of years.
Oh, I'm listening.
That's my fucking alley.
And yeah, coming to Buffalo.
What's there?
What's the typical?
What's a typical Buffalo dog?
What's the style?
It's like that's slimers.
I mean, it's like any other Greek diner, dude.
It's like it's like here in New York, basically,
but I don't know.
They have them there.
It's like the fucking like brown sauce with the mustard and the
fucking onions.
We don't do the brown sauce.
I don't know what that is.
It looks like dog shit, but it's great.
Chili sauce.
Yeah, chili sauce.
Maybe I think kind of something like it's not though.
It's something else.
I don't know.
I mean, it's like a mixture.
It's weird.
It's they call them like slime dogs.
We have like a couple of Texas red hot places.
They call them.
It's like all Greek.
There's like a guy named Louis.
Texas.
Hot.
Slime dog.
That's like a mafia shit, dude.
It's fucking weird in Buffalo.
Food shit.
It's a slime dog.
Oh, yeah.
The Greek restaurant crew in Buffalo is fucking.
It's the thickest thieves.
I presume like the Sopranos or something.
Yeah.
So when you grew up in this house, who lived,
who lived in the one above you in the, in the,
my grandparents that my mother's parents did.
Okay.
And it was you and your sister, you said.
Yeah.
And your parents split up when they waited until I was an
adult.
Nice.
All right.
So I was already moved out basically.
Very nice.
And would you go on vacation with your grandparents and all that
stuff?
The family was really tight.
We did for a little while.
Like, you know, up until there was like a point.
I don't know.
There was like a point where like everyone, like my,
my grandparents have four children, including my mother.
And everyone would go camping on vacations and shit.
And then there was like one moment where there was like a fight
amongst people.
Of course.
Of course.
No more of that.
Like it was like we were on an Island or maybe my mom,
it's a must have been my family because we ended up being
guys are the odd men out.
That's so drastic though.
That's such a garbage.
Same thing with my family.
There's like aunts and uncles.
We don't speak to.
And it's like anytime the,
anytime the lines get blurred between like family and like boss
and employee or landlord or neighbor.
Like when the family is that close together and there's like
that garbage DNA in it, it's going to fall apart at some point.
It's so funny.
Well, it's, and it's also funny.
Cause I still get along with pretty much.
I mean, if anyone talks to me, I'll talk to them.
Sure.
They hold such like petty grudges.
Like my mom will be like, you're and so,
and you're like, who gives it?
Who even gives a fuck?
I know.
Do we talk about it?
We go home and they're like, well, you know,
John was late for dinner last Tuesday.
I'm like, we're ficking taking enemy fire up here in New York.
Yeah.
About dinner.
You're costing me five bucks and a birthday.
Make amends with her.
Well, yeah.
Jesus Christ.
It's, it's wild.
Some of the Bentley, like, and then they said eight o'clock and
they said, and they came at, you know what I, it's fucking like
wild.
She ever talked to them again.
I know.
It's like, fucking, this is your sister.
I know dude.
It's crazy.
It's insane.
Like, well, you know how she is.
She's been doing it her whole life.
Like, who gives a fuck?
Let's go.
So wild.
Shit grudges.
I know.
All right.
Well, that's a pretty good picture.
We're going to get into a series of questions here.
Josh, we're going to ask you a series of questions to determine
whether you're garbage or not.
I want you to do us a favor.
I want you to answer them open, answer them honestly.
All right.
And we'll see.
We'll see where we go.
Number one, we've been asking a lot of people.
I'd like to know what was the name of the street that you grew up
on?
I grew up on a street called South Union Road.
Oh, that is not.
It was a four-lane highway.
Right by the toll booth.
I love it.
Dude, there was a, dude, there was no lie.
A toll booth.
It wasn't on my street, but there was a toll booth,
not like three blocks, three city blocks away.
Like you could hear the trucks shift down for the toll booth
because the highway was that close.
And there was a lot of traffic.
Dude, that is the best fucking answer we've got.
If you walk down, if you walk down my street and go to the
overramp right before the seven o'clock.
If you got an overramp by your front door,
that's a bad look.
The overramp is where you can see the toll booth.
Oh, I always thought we was wondering what's the toll booth
where they parked.
These guys parking that.
Oh, they park in Josh's driveway.
Holy shit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, you know, it's like, you know,
oh, they park in Josh's driveway.
Holy shit.
Oh my God.
South Union Road.
South Union Road.
Over there on South Union.
That sounds like where the dump is.
The salvage yard on South Union Road.
There's a cemetery that my cousins buried in.
Buddy, quit bragging, will you?
Holy shit.
And my grandparents.
Oh, I love it.
That's fucking great.
All right, what was this is another standard
that a lot of people have opinions about?
What was the name of the grocery store
your family went to growing up?
Well, it changed a few times,
but it was Bells was when I was a kid,
like the first incarnation of it that I can recall.
That sounds pretty classy.
That sounds nice.
Can you paint us a picture of what Bells was like?
Well, Bells was eventually,
it just looked like an airplane hanger.
Fuck.
It was like your first big story.
And eventually it got bought out by Quality Markets.
And then it was Topps Friendly Markets.
And I think now it's Topps still, maybe, but I'm not sure.
Now it's a toll booth.
Yeah.
That's all northeast like Pigley Wiggly type shit.
Pigley Wiggly.
That's real garbage, man.
Yeah, so it's like that.
It's like your standard.
What's that other one in the Carolina's the lion?
The lion.
Oh, yeah.
The lion or the lion?
Yeah, the lion.
When I was a kid, we were all petrified of the food line
because fucking 2020, it was like one of the first big
exposés where they were like rewrapping meat,
changing the expiration date.
Oh, yeah.
They had like John Kinyones under cover in a fucking
food line blowing up their spot.
It was fucking gross.
But I'll tell you what, if we will see,
we went to the other side of Williamsville and we went to
Wegmans.
Wegmans is top of the line.
When the check's clear, that is what I like to hear.
You got to go to the good side of the tracks.
You got to go hit the easy pass to get to Wegmans.
North Union Road.
That's where the Wegmans is.
There is a North Union Road.
That'd be trashy if there was only a South Union Road.
North Union Road's actually kind of horseshit also.
There is a North Union Road.
What was your fast food growing up?
What was the big hit in the Potter family?
What's hilarious is both my parents worked in restaurants,
so you would think we wouldn't eat in fast food because
they cooked in shit, but they were like,
I just cooked for a million strangers all day.
Sure.
You got to shorten the stick.
We're not cooking for you.
We're 100% getting fast food.
So we got like just straight up McDonald's.
I can't even like put any sort of Bowen.
I wish I had some sort of like nostalgia for you,
but it was straight up just chicken McNuggets.
How many days a week were you looking at?
You know, we'd get takeout all the time.
It was a lot of Pizza Hut too.
We had a Pizza Hut down our way.
Got a lot of Pizza Hut.
But you know, in Buffalo, I don't know if this counts as fast food,
but pizza and wings, it wasn't just Pizza Hut.
We get Pizza Hut once a while,
but most of the time we'd get like regular pizza just like
Buffalo with wings and shit, you know, but
Had a pizzeria.
Right.
Right.
Right.
But my mom and dad were like,
sometimes they were lazy and they'd go to the Pizza Hut.
But you know, we'd go to Johnny's or whatever,
Pizza Hut and get pizza ria or something.
Yeah.
And get wings and shit.
So that was a lot of stuff while you're a kid.
You get a lot of fucking pizza and wings and Buffalo.
Yeah.
Now you guys claim, is the Buffalo,
but don't you guys claim the Buffalo wing?
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, it's like, we just call them wings, but yeah, they,
you know, we got, I mean, it was invented there,
whatever the fuck.
So I guess, yeah, we claim it, but I know in New York,
it doesn't seem like you're like, well, I mean,
wings are everywhere, but like here in California,
you'd be surprised how wildly you're like,
can't they just make a chicken wing?
I know, dude.
It's so weird how food doesn't travel like that.
It's, it's 2020.
Dude.
I mean, you can't.
It's 2020.
We got satellite links up in space.
I know.
Dude, we're from Philly and we live in New York now.
It's 90 miles.
It's like fucking an hour and an hour and a half.
And like, there's like, the cheesesteak does,
it can't make it past the bridge.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
If 5G can make me gay, why can't we have a chicken wing
in California?
Why can't I get a decent homemade blue cheese over here?
I don't get it, dude.
That's great.
All right.
Let's see.
While we're on food a little bit,
have you ever microwaved bacon?
Yeah.
I mean, 100% paper towel.
Do you still do it or like only in a pinch
or will you get the pan out and fry it?
I don't like the grease.
I mean, I don't even fuck with bacon because I don't,
the process of making it and the getting rid of the grease
is too much.
I'm just like too much bullshit from that.
Don't even do it.
This guy runs a tight ship.
I'll give you that.
There's not a lot of cooking collateral damage
that occurs over here.
You know what I discovered recently was
they have rice that you can make in a pouch,
put it in, it comes in a little pouch
and it's already portioned out
and you just put the pouch in the thing,
boil it, you take it out, cut the pouch open.
Boom.
No rice in the pot at fucking all.
I'm sorry.
Did you say recently discovered?
Just found it recently.
I don't know.
Maybe it's been around forever.
I'm not saying, I'm not trying to be Columbus over here.
Don't tear down my statue.
I'm not saying I've discovered it, but in my world.
Wow.
I don't think I've ever had it.
Oh, totally.
I know exactly what you're talking about.
It's in a bag like that has like almost like
preferrated holes in it a little bit.
Yeah.
You just pop that bag in the water
and then you can pop it back out.
10 minutes.
Fucking brilliant.
Whoever bought that, I want to blow them.
They're fucking geniuses.
That's good.
If you're changing your method and food on the dishes,
that's pretty fucking trash.
How often would you say as an adult now or growing up,
did you have breakfast for dinner?
I see like, again, my parents were never, I mean,
like we had a, I have a weird thing with food
just because my parents were never like,
they'd always give me money to like eat at school,
like get whatever they have at school.
That was the best.
When we, when we have dinner, it was like,
they'd even leave money for me to like get dinner
on the way home, like at like a bar,
like bar on grill type place or something on the way home.
Really?
You're stopping into a bar getting take, getting take out.
Yeah.
Like getting fucking wings or a sub or some shit like that.
So that's great.
That's trash.
100%.
That's awesome though, dude.
Fucking 14 years old, heading home,
grabbing a fucking hoagie.
100% dude.
That's great.
Almost like weekly.
I'd get a, I used to get a sub from this place
called Mike's subs and I would get like,
Sounds great dude.
I'd get like hot peppers.
Yeah, great.
Mike's subs and I get hot peppers and I'd get like hot sauce
and something else like real spicy on it or whatever.
And I remember I'd get it so often that it actually
gave me an ulcer for like a small ulcer in my stomach.
And my doctor was like, what are you eating?
You're 11.
How the fuck do you have ulcers on?
How old were you?
I was fucking like 13 or something like that.
My doctor was like, how do you have an ulcer?
He's swigging Pepto and shit like an old detective.
He's asking me like, what am I eating?
And I told him I go to Mike's subs every day
and I get this thing and he's like, stop doing that.
I'm surprised it had taken away from you.
An ulcer at 13.
Just a really tiny one, like to the point
where like a kid like close back up or whatever,
you know, one of those ones.
That makes it better.
But you know, it was I was fucking up my,
I just was fucking up my stomach lining
by eating too much like spicy shit.
Like that's.
I don't think I've ever heard of a kid going for
fucking hot peppers on their sub.
I fucking like, I was like, burn my goddamn face off.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
Holy shit.
When did you start growing facial hair?
You look like a guy that might have had facial hair early.
You got a thick.
You got a thick.
Yeah.
Easy.
I started losing my hair in high school too.
And going like, I remember my mom's mentioning
I was going gray.
She noticed I was going gray when I was like,
they're 14 or something like that.
She's like, you have gray hair.
This kid's little, little fucking,
let a life of 50 year old by the time he was 15.
You're living on casual dining bar food your whole life.
Pretty much.
Yeah.
That's what happens when you have moth sticks all the time.
That'll fucking age you dude.
That'll save a couple of years off the end.
I just have to know the shittier the bar,
the fucking better the mozzarella sticks.
And I ain't got no problem with that.
Hell yeah, dude.
I mean, shit.
Yeah.
I mean, I can't believe they say like pizza logs aren't
anywhere else other than Buffalo.
Have you guys had a pizza log?
I don't know what that is.
What?
Pizza log.
Yeah.
No, there's no fucking pizza logs anywhere.
How is a pizza log?
Educate me, baby.
What the fuck is it?
It's basically like a cylinder, like a little roll.
I mean, I'm sure you've seen like a pizza roll.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Coutinos, one of those like pizza pouches or whatever.
Yeah.
It's like that in a log form.
It's like a cheese stick, but it's like a whole pizza
in a stick.
It's a log.
We've got to get somebody at the Buffalo.
Can we send someone from production to fucking Buffalo?
Oh yeah, dude.
Dylan, get on up.
I don't know how we have so many culinary things that can't
get behind the outside world.
It's like Wakanda.
You want to keep it for yourself.
I get it.
It's like the champagne of bar food.
I mean, it is like.
There's nothing.
I grew up like hanging out in bars, like with my family or
whatever.
And like, you can tell, dude, sometimes there's no better
chicken finger than like a chicken finger from a deep fryer
where the oil hasn't been changed in like six years.
Yeah.
Love it.
Yeah, dude.
You got a chicken finger, man.
Josh.
I mean, yeah, I like some chicken fingers.
That's another thing.
Chicken finger subs.
It's like a foreign idea to people.
Yeah, we do those fucking trash.
We do those.
They're great.
I always assume that if I got chicken fingers in the
sandwich, they must have ran out of the other chicken.
So there's a chicken finger is like a Buffalo delicacy.
Dude.
And it's what we like pride ourselves on.
And you go outside of it.
You're like, how do they not have a chicken finger sub
on this menu?
A stinger.
A stinger.
That's where you take chicken finger sub and like the
meat from like a Philly cheesesteak and you put it on
together.
Both of them together.
Stinger.
That's.
We got a bunch of fucking buffalo.
Doc, I got an ulcer.
Too many stingers.
Yeah.
I mean, that'll do it too.
Holy shit, dude.
What was what was your first car growing up there in
Buffalo?
I had a not a Dodge neon, a Chrysler neon.
I don't know why I don't know why it was like a weird.
It's had.
I don't know why it was a Chrysler.
I remember them.
They looked exactly the same.
Right.
Yeah.
They were the same car.
I don't understand what happened there, but it had a ski
rack on it.
I remember that.
Keeping it classy.
Hell yeah, dude.
On a neon.
Were you a skier?
I did ski, but I never used the ski rack.
I just threw the skis in my back seat.
I was like, I'm not putting them on the fucking rack.
Yeah.
Dude, any, but I always thought that guy was a jerk off with
the skis on the rack.
Any rack.
Yeah.
Any rack is bad.
It's like, it came with the car.
So I kept it.
Sure.
Sure.
I'm not putting shit on it.
Dude, I remember people like we would go skiing with
like a friend and they would like everything on the ski rack
or if you had one of those bubbles on top.
Let me tell you something.
That was a jerk off mobile.
I hated those bubbles.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The bubbles, it's like, if you have a kid, maybe, but if
you have it, but also put the kid in the bubble.
I'm saying like, if you're going to have it, use it.
I mean, that's, yeah, that shit always fucking annoyed me.
Did you do anything to the car when you, when you had it
in high school?
Did you hook up?
I tried to, I got, I did not get like cool speakers, but
I definitely got like a sick ass faceplate for the stereo.
Yeah.
The head unit.
Hell yeah.
For sure.
One of the ones you take out.
Yeah.
Where it's like, you have to put it in a little box and take it
with you.
Fuck yeah.
No one steals it for sure.
Hell yeah.
I mean, so, and then I would label, you know, because you
were burning CDs back then.
Of course.
Of course.
And you could label the files so that it shows up on your
head thing is different shit.
Of course.
The right different shit in there.
You didn't have the CD changer in the trunk.
Did you buy any chance?
I did not have that till not on my first car.
No, but I did eventually have a car that had that.
You have to save up for that.
Dude, I remember the first time I didn't know what that was.
I was in a buddy's car.
And we'd like pulled over on the turnpike to change CDs.
I'm like, what the fuck are we doing?
Yeah.
But imagine you were like, holy shit, we can listen to like 40
songs.
I know, dude.
6 CD changer in the trunk.
Holy shit.
That's like, we have 6 CDs.
That's like, oh, you're like, oh my God, man, we're going to
listen to like 80 songs.
We can.
We don't have to change anything.
Dude.
And now we have like, we have infinity.
Oh yeah, exactly.
Infinite number.
Yeah.
It's fucking nuts.
All right.
When was the last time you had Mountain Dew?
What's, I mean, I guess what kind of Mountain Dew?
That answers the question.
Any Mountain Dew flavor.
You'll think a code red guy.
I'm not going to lie.
You know, I feel like my, here's the thing.
I've had, I drink a lot of Red Bull.
I drink Red Bull obscene amounts every day.
Okay.
And so I have not had a Mountain Dew in a while, but I have had
like the Mountain Dew kickstart thing.
Like their energy drink.
Yes.
Okay.
That's functional.
It's a little different.
Yeah.
I had that.
No, it just is a little Mountain Dewy version.
I, the Red Bull is really my everything.
It's really my, I love the way the can feels in my hand.
I love the way it smells.
Man, they got this guy's trash.
Holy shit.
I did morning radio for a very long time and I would drink
four of them every morning.
Like one of those four packs.
I'd come in with one of those and I'd pound them.
You guys fucking red line it.
Would you ever eat with an energy drink?
Have a meal.
I did it.
Yes.
I will drink.
I had breakfast today, sir.
It's no longer.
I'm like the guy who like, I don't even know what it is dude.
It's like, I'll drink this at two in the morning.
Like if it's like two in the morning and I'm like having like
fast food, I'll have all of this.
I'll say this.
It is a, I was on them pretty heavy for a while too.
I think you had a little vodka and some percocets in it,
but I was on them pretty hard too.
But I'll tell you what, when you're real thirsty,
I don't know what it is, a fucking Red Bull tastes delicious.
You know, you're going to get it with a wave of caffeine,
you know, right after it, but it does go down pretty smooth.
Oh, the taste of it is like nothing else.
Like I've never craved the taste of anything else.
That's fucking trash, dude.
Wait, are you, are you, are you a bite and sip guy?
Or do you, do you like, do you separate the two?
Yeah.
Well, we mean, like if you take a bite of food,
will you then take a swig of a drink?
Yeah, I'm usually like a chug, eat a lot and then finish it.
You know, like, because a bite and sip guy with a Red Bull,
that's fucking.
No, I don't do that.
I don't do any bite and sip.
I usually like drink, drink, drink, drink, drink.
But I definitely like, and then a lot of times with these,
I'll do, I'll buy two, one to pound and then one to enjoy.
Oh, that's a fuck.
I do that with IPA is a lot because I gotta get some people
buy the bigger cans, you know, the bigger.
Those are real trashy.
The bigger cans don't taste as good because there's too much
liquid inside of them.
These are colder long.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
This kid's a loose cannon.
I'll tell you that.
I gotta give it to him.
He's got his weird garbage rules, but they make sense.
He backs them up.
He backs them up with like solid logic.
He lives by a code.
I always said I'm sophisticated garbage.
The big thing we find out after the show is like,
as long as you can, if you have a reasoning behind it,
I'm like, hey, you put thought into it and this is where
you landed, I'm fucking with it, man.
For sure.
Have you ever gotten any Red Bull like swag,
a Red Bull jacket or anything like that?
Oh my God.
The Red Bull people, when I worked in radio,
loved me and they would bring me,
they used to bring me the new flavors every time.
Oh, God.
Bring me a little box of the new flavors.
Oh boy.
Did you ever have one of those Red Bull fridges?
I never, not personally, but I didn't get them.
I did get one in my office for a little while.
Oh my God.
That is pretty classy.
And every comedy club that has one,
I'm just like, I feel at home here.
Every comedy club has one in the green room,
like under the desk or something.
That's when they're good.
They're fucking ice cold.
That's when you know when they're going to be good.
You're like, oh, they got the Red Bull.
We're set.
That's how trashy most comics are.
Like if there's a stock two by two Red Bull fridge
in a green room,
I feel like a million bucks.
I feel like this is,
am I performing at the Taj Mahal right now?
Dude, I feel like they rolled out the red carpet.
I'm like, if my mom could see me now,
you know what I mean?
Yeah, that's all I need.
That and cold bottles of Fiji water.
You get a fucking fridge with Fiji water in it.
Yes.
Stealing them.
I think it's the shape of the Fiji bottle that gets me going.
Sure.
You feel classy or drinking from a square bottle.
Very Polynesian.
Yeah.
And it's that,
you know,
very Polynesian.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's that clear.
It's just,
it's also very clear.
Whereas when they have the squiggles and they can't see through
it is good.
Yeah.
This guy fucking get Josh.
You fucking get it.
Josh does get it, man.
He really, really fucking does.
I always take one for the road too.
When I'm leaving the comedy club.
Always take one for the road.
I take a Red Bull for the next day.
He's got a school bag.
He's loading up.
Yeah.
Let me,
let's take it back to childhood.
What,
what religion or faith did you guys grow up?
Just pretty much nothing.
I mean,
my parents didn't really try to enforce it.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
We did all that stuff.
It was,
it was,
it was my mom was Catholic and my dad was Greek Orthodox.
And my mom converted to Greek Orthodox.
Yeah.
Cause like they had to for, to get married, you know,
just to like,
he's my grandmother and shit.
My parents never gave a fuck about religion.
So they never like pressed it upon us.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Okay.
The Greeks keep it tight dude.
They keep it tight in its circle.
The Greeks.
They do.
They don't fuck around.
I live in a store.
Yeah.
So it's always like we do shit once in a while.
And then my grandma died and we were like, never.
Yeah.
Just keep it up appearances for her.
Yeah.
So it was Christmas.
Was Christmas big at your house?
It was pretty big when at first, you know,
and then like we got older and it got kind of like,
I said,
my family started hating each other and stopped.
But it was big in the beginning.
It was like,
it was so big.
And I,
I don't know.
It's like,
this is kind of weird,
but like I used to get so sad.
I'd be so happy that I was sad.
You know what I mean?
It was very like,
it was overwhelming how awesome Christmas was that I would end
and I would have to wait till next year for it.
So I would be like depressed all day.
This kid had a rough fucking childhood.
Isn't that wild?
So that's how severe depression.
It was like,
but that's how like good it was.
In the beginning it was very like a Christmas story.
You know what I mean?
Like very,
picturesque fucking whatever that painting guy was at
Norman Rock.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
So Greek immigrant father,
I'm guessing Buffalo that you probably,
you went with colored lights on the tree and outside,
I would assume.
We went,
my mom did most of that.
So my dad could give two shits about that shit.
My dad was more like,
if we're talking like trash for him,
he embraced America in trash ways.
That was like,
like he got tattoo,
like he went through a midlife crisis that was like sports cars,
tattoos,
like he bought a,
he got awarded.
He was running old country buffet.
I don't know if you remember that restaurant.
Do I?
Do I?
Yeah.
So my,
in the,
in the great buffet wars of 97,
my father got a golden corral closed.
That was like down the street because of a,
you know,
competition or whatever.
Oh,
and old country buffet gave him a,
a Mustang GT.
Oh,
wait, what?
The reward.
Yeah.
He's a top earner.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
He was the third top earner on the East coast.
They sent him to Hawaii and shit.
Like,
he was,
I'm sorry,
was he a server or like a general manager?
No,
he,
he ran the restaurant.
I was going to say,
that's a hell of a fucking bus boy.
Yeah.
They upped them up to a regional manager or whatever.
Okay.
That's a fucking serious job.
Great.
Yeah.
For those corporate restaurants, man,
you're making a little cash.
Yeah.
He was for a little while and then he would get,
he would start feeling himself and then he'd be like,
I'm buying a restaurant and then that would go like,
I love that garbage level of mentality of like,
I get a little bit.
I get a little bit.
I got to fucking push it to the limit.
You got to fuck a Mustang.
I can do anything I want.
What are you talking about?
He went back and forth a couple of times.
He bought,
so he went from the old country buffet thing,
top of the world,
bought a restaurant,
drove himself into the ground,
sold the restaurant,
started working again for the old country buffet corporation.
Guys,
I'm sorry about what happened.
I'm back.
Hey,
I didn't mean to tell you all.
No,
this is not the old country.
I'm sorry,
the Olive Garden Corporation.
Lobster,
Olive Garden.
Sure.
All that shit.
And then he was like feeling himself again,
and he bought a bar in New Kensington, Pennsylvania,
a bar inside of a La Quinta Inn.
And was like,
this is going to be my bar I'm going to run.
And then he partied himself into the ground
and he flew too close to the sun.
And that was the end of the road.
And then he,
now he's a line cook at a diner who used to own,
but he collects social security and gets paid under the table.
That's not too bad.
So that's pretty good, right?
Yeah, that's not bad.
Doing what he loves.
I tell you, the bar,
one of our questions is,
have you ever eaten at a restaurant or a bar that was attached to a motel?
And I got to tell you,
owning a bar inside the La Quinta,
that's fucking,
that's something else.
He must have seen some real trash.
That's worse than eating at the bar, I think.
Dude,
dude,
I mean the regular,
I told my dad,
like, what's the game plan here?
I mean,
it's like you get new people coming in.
Yeah, there's not an insult.
We're in a La Quinta inside New Kensington, Pennsylvania.
Oh my God.
Who's coming here?
The regulars man,
the local town folk,
that must be fucking brutal.
Yeah, there wasn't even a lot of them.
Dude,
I did a gig at like,
it was like a Ramada or something in the middle of Pennsylvania,
same thing.
It was like in like the fucking cafeteria was the showroom.
But there was a bar connected to it.
And I was sitting down before the show,
having a beer,
just like waiting for the show to start.
And all the locals were there,
and they were all Amazon employees.
And they would just get their paycheck,
live at the motel,
and then just drink at the bar all night.
And I was like,
this is the saddest shit I've ever seen in my life.
Holy fuck.
It was rough.
Man.
Oh my God.
That's my always like,
I don't know if I attract this on the road or something,
but I'll always end up just like,
at a Buffalo Wild Wings or something.
And it's like the daytime.
And I'm like,
I don't even know where I am.
It's just like a Buffalo Wild Wings on a highway.
And you're all,
I'm just sitting there.
And I think like,
I'm going to have a beer.
I'm going to eat some bullshit.
And every fucking time a guy sits down next to me.
Oh my God.
Where are you in from?
And I'm like,
I don't want to do this.
Dude.
You know,
that guy does that every week,
wherever he goes to.
Everywhere.
That's the guy you feel bad for.
What the fuck's his life like?
Yeah.
You're looking for conversation and companionship
and a Buffalo Wild Wings
on a swing shift on a fucking Wednesday.
He hasn't figured out in the bar up.
Yeah.
He hasn't figured out like what's going on yet.
No,
the rest of us know what's going on.
I think there's romance to me.
Honestly,
there's romance to sitting in one of those bars.
And like,
obviously I have,
we have a different perspective.
The guy that's just sitting there
and has no outside perspective,
just sitting there with like a fucking rolling rock
or a Michel over something.
Just letting it go.
Riding off into the sunset.
I love it.
Rolling rock.
Well,
that's part of the,
it is part of the fair,
but his ignorance is like,
I don't feel bad for him.
I like you said,
I romanticize it as well.
And I like just sitting there and watching a,
a highlight thing on the TV for sports or whatever.
Oh yeah.
And then having that guy,
that guy's part of it, of course,
but it is annoying.
But to be that guy would not be ideal.
You know,
he goes back to his hotel room after that.
And he just starts crying.
I don't even know why I'm crying.
I just don't even know.
Like he's just like,
he just wants to feel something.
Why did I say that to Josh?
God, he was such a cool guy.
He was a cool comedian.
I talked to that,
I just talked to that guy at the bar.
And I don't even know what I'm talking about.
That's a situation that if the guy asked me what I did,
I would never tell him I'm a comic
because that would just open up more.
No.
Consulting.
Go vague.
Consulting.
I always say sales.
And then they go,
what are you selling?
And I always puts me in a pickle.
I go,
I go medical supplies.
Because I hope that they don't under...
They don't know that.
I can just make shit up.
They don't know anything.
You've made up a nice little career for yourself,
Josh.
I like that.
Yeah.
It's just medical supplies.
Yeah.
Tubing.
That's medical tubing.
And then they ask me something.
I go, I do the tech stuff.
I don't know.
They try to get it more confusing.
You should talk to Randy.
He's the guy you really want to talk to.
Holy shit.
Go ahead.
Keep it.
All right.
Let's see.
Since we're kind of in there,
have you ever stolen a beer glass from a bar?
Yeah.
That's such a garbage move,
but I love it.
I used to get elaborate with it.
I mean,
you ever take the salt and pepper shakers?
There was a girl that my friend dated that she used to take
forks and everything.
She used to take everything.
It was like a compulsion.
That's disgusting.
How many people use that fork?
Yeah.
Yeah, dude.
I was like, why?
It's not even like a special fork.
You know,
like I would only take a bar glass really if it was like,
sure.
Kind of cool.
Marquis bar.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It had to have a little bit of flair to it.
Dude,
I was out with my wife the one time before we were even gay.
We were like dating.
And I'm like,
Oh, this is a cool glass.
I want to get like something like this for the house.
And then we walk out and she's got,
she's like,
she's got it in her purse.
I'm like, you are a fucking keeper.
Yeah.
The girls with the purses,
I'm sorry yet to interrupt you.
The girls with the purses always were the reasons
that I fucking stole glasses.
That was always the thing that wouldn't end up happening.
They would just be like,
Yeah.
Like,
Oh,
it's great.
I always thought the pint glass,
you'd want a pint glass from a bar.
If it did have like a cool logo,
if it was like a certain beer,
but I don't know what it is.
It's like just a psychological thing,
but drinking out of a plain pint glass that has no,
no lettering on it at all.
The beer always tasted weird and like shitty to me.
I don't know what you mean.
Like when there's no,
it doesn't say like cores or anything on the glass,
when it's just a plain pint glass.
Yeah.
We have even talked about beer,
but I,
I won't drink.
Now this is maybe like a little knobby of me.
I won't drink draft beer,
but I only drink shitty beer.
So it has to be out of a bottle though.
That's only.
What's your,
what sure you can't drink shitty beer draft.
No, no.
You sit down at a bar.
What do you order?
Are you going to have any beer in the world?
Like if we're,
what part of the country are we in?
If it's not,
if it's Buffalo,
if I'm in Buffalo,
I'm going to Molson, Canadian.
Ooh.
That's not bad.
An international man of mystery.
There you go.
Well, that's what you think.
But in Buffalo,
that's like a Bud Light.
Sure.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
But if I'm in LA or like somewhere else around the country,
it's usually Miller light that I'll order.
That's
Miller light's not bad.
That's my go trash, dude.
It's fucking.
I drank it for years.
I'm not shitting on it,
but that's a trash beer.
If you're,
if your beer sponsors a football team,
if you're the official beer of a football team,
your trash.
And I feel like Miller light,
you're drinking that in like waist deep water
in like a river somewhere
surrounded by a bunch of pond tune boats.
It can go from that.
You could be in a fucking tube
going down a lazy river.
Or you could be,
you could be at a dirt track.
You could be at a
horse race.
You could be,
it's literally the beer for every setting.
It is.
For every garbage occasion.
Yeah.
I've been on a private jet where they've had,
I've opened the front of Miller light.
What do they know?
I was coming in.
That's great.
That's pure trash.
When you're flying,
when you're flying private,
still drinking Miller light.
And that's,
that's the,
and you can pick anything.
And I,
I picked a Miller light.
I love it.
Miller light in some hotels that would blow your mind.
But it's like almost disappointing
that
the people there go like,
are you serious?
The Beverly Hills hotel.
Yeah.
He's staying in hotels where the,
where you, where the fucking,
where the alarm box not like bolted down.
Yeah.
International.
A warm Miller light pony, please.
Gang,
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back to the show.
Yeah.
Man, that's good.
That's trash.
Has anyone in your family ever collected state quarters?
That's so fun.
What a fucking hilarious question.
My mom...
Oh, yeah.
We got him.
We got him now.
I know you, Josh.
I am you.
We got you.
That's so funny.
My mom collected everything like that.
She felt for all that shit.
The quarters.
Of course.
The beanie babies.
You know, Ninja Turtles.
Your mom was collected Ninja Turtles?
I mean, she knew I liked them.
Obviously, same with the beanie babies.
She knew us kids liked them,
but like it became her then.
Yeah.
It was the collection aspect of it.
Yeah.
Like, of course, I was going to accept all of them,
but she was like, God, here's a shredder.
Here's a fucking, you know, and I'm right here.
Would you be allowed to play with them
or would they be put away?
Well, I could play with the Ninja Turtles,
but the ones that we started hoarding
where I could not play with them was the Star Wars.
When the Star Wars characters came out,
they re-released the trilogy.
And the Star Wars people, they had to stay in the box.
Holy shit, dude.
Your mom's doing that.
Now, did you see any of that cash?
You get to wet your beak on that a little bit.
Oh, all that shit's still in her.
And she's like, why don't we have all this toys of yours?
And I'm like, that's you, bitch.
You took my Bubba Fed.
You deal with it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You fucking sell that shit on eBay.
I don't do a fucking thing.
That's so funny.
You figure it out.
Dude, the state quarters.
It was your master plan.
My fucking stepmom had the map,
like the big foldable map that you put.
That's so trashy.
She had the date when the new ones were coming out.
And she thought that, she literally said to me one time,
she's like, this is going to pay for your college.
I'm like, that's going to be worth fucking $9.
It's not going to pay for dinner.
What are you talking about?
Yeah.
I remember being like in parking lots,
going through change and being like,
I've been to Brasco, mom.
And she'd be like, yes.
And like, we'll be like in the car.
Like we had an Astro van too.
That's holy.
That is that.
That's a question that we didn't even have to ask.
He volunteered the Astro van.
I just remembered those.
I just remembered sitting in it.
So I just threw that memory.
I got a follow up question.
Was it white with red interior by any chance?
No, it was the gray.
It was like the gray and ash version on the outside.
And then in the inside,
it had the same, the gray interior.
Yeah.
That's tough, man.
They only made those like three,
they made three colors.
It was that in tan.
We had an 88,
88 one and it lasted for fucking ever.
Every one of those fucking van smelled like rotten eggs
when you turned it on.
Yeah.
The catalytic converter, I think.
That's what it was.
So if your mom was a big collector,
anybody in your family ever mess with a metal detector?
No, I thought,
and I thought you were about to just blow my mind again by saying,
I'm like a little high.
So I thought you were about to say what my mom ultimately like her
first collecting thing was.
It wasn't a metal detector or anything like that.
But my mom collected precious moments.
Do you remember those fucking things?
What's that?
Precious moments.
They were ceramic like clowns and animals.
Oh, dude.
They sold them on TV?
Yes.
They would be like,
and they would be in like a little,
your mom would keep them in like a curio cabinet or whatever.
You want to hear this?
This is real trashy.
I know exactly what you're talking about.
And number one,
those fucking clowns used to scare the fuck out of me.
But my mom,
my mom and her mom collected ceramic shoes.
Shoes.
They were little tiny shoes.
And she still has them.
They're all like this.
Like you're saying,
this huge fucking display case,
like it's the Holy Grail.
Little ceramic shoes.
That's fucking trash.
That's trash, man.
That's like genetic trash mentality.
You think that's going to be worth something?
I think it's going to pay off.
Well, those Star Wars figures might pay off.
I wouldn't mind taking a look at them.
I'm not going to lie.
Give your mom a fair price for them.
She doesn't know shit about that stuff.
So I just let her fly.
Even better.
There we go.
Yeah.
There you go.
So can take good advantage of her.
So no metal detector.
All right.
No metal detector.
No.
And I always,
but here's another funny thing.
As a blind guy,
I always kind of wish I did have a metal detector.
Oh, dude,
I got to tell you,
I had one.
I bought it at Radio Shack for like 112 bucks.
And I thought I was going to find fucking.
It barely fucking worked.
I remember I would hold it up like next to the car and shit.
It wouldn't even go off.
Next to the car.
It ran off fucking like double A batteries.
I was like, this ain't going to find anything.
My fucking,
my fucking asshole dad would send me out on the beach.
I'd just be like,
look like the biggest fucking asshole.
That kid walking down the beach.
That's funny.
Oh, I got one.
Yeah.
I got one.
Does anyone in your family,
extended family own a camper or an RV?
My uncle,
Mike used to like way back with my family still talk to each other.
Of course.
I never got to always uncle Mike.
It's always an uncle.
As a baby,
my uncle Mike was the trashiest,
but my favorite uncle,
he was like,
they are all my finger uncle.
He was the,
he used to burp and say like good out.
Yeah.
You can't,
you can't be a good uncle and not be a trashy uncle.
I'm the trashy uncle right now.
Sure.
I'm the trashy uncle for sure.
Yeah.
I do the diarrhea song,
the whole nine yards.
It fucking kills.
I haven't had the fortunate ability to interact with my nephew
as often as I'd like.
Yeah.
I've only met him once because they,
he's a one years old and across the country.
So I,
but I can't wait to be the trashy uncle.
Yeah.
Well,
I think the fact you've only met him once you have solidified you
as the trashy uncle.
Oh, for sure.
So far.
Yeah.
You guys already have beef with each other principle.
Yeah.
All right.
What do you got big man?
Pretty good.
What do I got?
I got,
what was your pet situation growing up up there in Buffalo?
I,
we had a dog named Tucker and I picked him out at the SPCA.
We don't know.
Respectable.
We don't know what breed he was.
We took him to a couple of bets.
All of them said different breeds and
he's Italian.
Yeah.
I mean, he was the most,
it was a dog with the most personality that I've ever seen in my life.
Like he would just do fucking weird shit.
And he was the best.
It was like,
it was like a kid with his dog.
And then I had to like hold him when he died.
It was like the worst fucking shit.
And then I was like,
I was like,
I'm never having another fucking dog ever again.
And then my mom got like two dogs right away.
And I was like, fuck these dogs.
You know what I mean?
I don't know.
It was like,
I want to get close to them.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was weird.
So yeah,
that was like,
I love that dog and I don't understand how people can just replace dog so
quickly.
It's tough, man.
I just got some scars.
Yeah.
It's got some scars.
Sorry about that.
I also had a turtle at one point.
Turtles are trash.
Wasn't it?
Yeah, but it was a small one.
Oh yeah.
And I think my dad just ended up flushing it down the toilet.
He was like, this is fucking stupid.
And did it smell?
They smell really bad.
Oh, they smell like shit.
And that's why my dad,
I think my dad was like,
I'm just like,
what am I doing these things already?
They live to be a hundred.
You know what's also like trash was like hamster.
I don't even know why my parents kicked the tires on any of these pets,
but like we had a hamster.
We had a fucking bird one time.
Oh, dude, these are all I have.
My first question is,
have you ever owned a pet bird?
It's right there.
These are no nose jobs.
And it was like a,
it was like a parakeet or whatever.
And it still was like,
fuck my parents just bailed on it quickly.
They were like,
what were we thinking?
The dog was like the only one that lasted.
The biggest trash one of all of in that world is by far the guinea pig.
Of course.
Or the ferret.
I think a hamster is grosser than a guinea pig.
You think?
Why so?
Because a hamster I think is more rat like.
Yeah. Hamsters I don't trust.
Hamsters.
And I remember like having it and going like,
this is gross.
I remember like looking at it and going like,
why do we own a rat?
That's kind of you.
Yeah.
We're like taking it out of its box and shit.
And like, it would escape.
It would like run around and it would just live in our house.
We're like, we have this rodent running around our home.
I know.
You know, like, dude,
we had gerbils.
Sleep tight.
We had gerbils and we would put them on our head and they would sit there.
His name was peanut.
Fuck you.
And he would like shit on our heads.
Yeah.
Can you believe that shit?
I can't not believe we let rodents in our homes.
Dude, it's crazy.
It's because you're trapped.
Yeah.
It's because we're fucking garbage.
Of course.
Did you ever keep any of the tanks or the cages after the pets had gone?
Did you ever have an empty bird cage just hanging in your house?
Oh, my mom has definitely used an empty tank,
like a fish tank for decoration of sorts,
like putting other things in it.
That's real.
I saw that in Southern Living.
I'm not sure.
Bon Appétit.
That's trash.
Probably a place to put the surplus precious moments because she would die a lot.
Dude, that's fucking.
Oh, my God.
QVC was her addiction.
That's always a dead giveaway.
QVC is tough.
Yeah.
Wow.
I remember my mom got on the phone with QVC buying a hoodie or not a hoodie,
but what's the crew neck sweatshirt like the sweatshirt without the hood?
Yeah, just like a prop commemorate the Iraq war.
What was it?
The operation that when we stormed in there?
Yeah.
Storm.
Yeah.
Talking in the nineties.
Yeah.
She got, she got on QVC on the phone.
Like going, oh, I'm on like that.
She was on the live.
Yeah.
I'm on.
Josh, get over here.
I'm on.
I'm on.
She's like, I'm on the phone.
They're like, you get the.
You're going to.
Are you excited to purchase this desert storm sweatshirt right here to commemorate
our victory over in the Middle East?
She's like, I can't wait to get it.
You know, like that kind of thing.
So you must have been telling the girls about that for a couple of years.
Yeah.
That's a game changer.
When you're a dude, a small town buffalo, you're making it on QVC.
That's a national program.
Yeah.
That's a fucking TV credit, dude.
Name of street after you.
Jesus Christ.
Ever been a member of a studio audience?
Any member of your family?
In Nickelodeon, we were in double dares.
Wow.
Very nice.
And Nickelodeon studios down in Orlando.
Yes.
And they actually asked me.
They go, um, I don't know why he asked me this, but he asked me how old I was.
Mark summers.
Yeah.
I said I was talking Mark summers.
Yeah.
Like in the pre like the warmup thing, not Mark summers, the guy who did the warmup.
Got you.
Harvey.
I don't remember who it was.
What are you a fucking stage in there?
I knew the guy Harvey that was the announcer and warmup guy for double dare.
I did.
I don't know.
It might have been the guy named Harvey, but someone came up to me and goes, how old
are you?
And I said, I think I was four, six or something.
I don't know.
Josh, I don't think that guy worked there.
Whatever I said, I don't know.
And, uh, he goes, uh, how long you've been six?
And I go about three years and I got a huge laugh and I'll never forget that.
That's a good fit.
I'll never forget that.
I got a huge laugh and I didn't know why I got it, but I just remember going like,
Hey, I'm good at this.
Yeah.
Get this kid on camera.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then I was like bitten by the bug right there.
Oh, that's fucking great.
Dude, I did.
I did SeaWorld.
And I remember the guy came up to me at SeaWorld and he goes, Hey kid, can you jump through
a fire?
He goes, Hey kid, you like mackerel?
How long can you hold your breath?
Excuse me, son.
I had a chance.
Are you scared of killer whales?
And also underwater.
Can we squeeze you into a mermaid costume?
He was like, can you fucking, you want to come up and like do the free Willy kid?
I was like, dude, I was fucking a decade before Blackfish.
I was like, dude, I, I sell, I smell a set up when I see one dude, get out of here.
No fucking way.
Am I being the whole guy for this?
That would be the darkest pedophile ring scandal.
As if there was just like guys grooming people to be like, Hey, do you want to get kissed
by Shamu?
If you want Shamu to kiss you, you got to kiss somewhere else.
I'm stalling it.
Getting the aquarium.
Get some fucking action going under the bleachers.
Let's go.
We had a place up in Ontario, like his buffalo is so close to Canada.
Yeah.
And basically called Marine land.
That was like a trashier version of sea.
Oh man.
I bet the budget was not high.
They were like living in probably hotel rooms.
Those fucking dolphins.
There was also a place like down the, down the highway called African lion safari where
you can drive your car and there would be lions, but they'd be so drugged up.
They'd just be like chilling like this and you can drive your car by them and shit.
Wash them, throw like some meat at them and stuff.
Dude, the nineties was fucking wide open.
So fucked up.
You could do whatever you wanted to.
Dude, that should still open.
I know.
Yeah.
African safari in the middle of fucking buffalo.
If that is up in Ontario, Canada, Niagara Falls, I can't.
Oh my God.
That's somehow less African, I feel.
Yeah.
And Niagara Falls is pretty trashy, right?
Oh my God, dude.
Yeah.
Our side of Niagara Falls.
The Canadian side is trashy and that's the nice side.
That's yeah.
Our side looks like Johannesburg.
And then every now and then you see a halal cart around there.
You know what I mean?
That's about it.
Yeah.
Nothing wrong with a good halal cart.
Shout out to the halal guys.
I'm 50 seconds.
At least we did not do bad.
There are like shacks.
It's like shacks and like, oh, it is terrible.
Yeah.
Niagara Falls.
We did it.
I did it as a kid and I remember we were looking over to the Canadian side and I was like,
oh, let's go over there because it's bigger buildings.
It's like a city.
Yeah.
It's like, it's attractive by sight.
Especially as a little kid.
I'm like, that's where shit's happening.
There's things to do.
Yeah.
I'm like, shit's popping over there.
I'm like, can we go over there?
My dad goes, maybe next time, kid.
Maybe next time.
You're a poor dad.
You're a poor dad.
And I always picture that poor dad that breaks.
Because there's like dads who bring their families over from Japan.
And I always think like that, you know, they're probably like, I can picture myself being a
Japanese dad and going, the American side is way better than the Canadian side.
Of course.
That's what you would think.
So then you go, you schedule your whole vacation and then your kids like this blows and you're
like, I fucking worked in my Japanese job for 100 years to pay for this fucking ticket.
The Japanese got a rough idea.
That's a tough look when you see like if like for a dad to like feel like he let down his
kids on the vacation.
Like, it's pretty good, huh?
Not bad.
Kids are like, fuck you.
This sucks.
Oh man.
Yeah.
You're like, huh?
See what I did.
You do this and you're like, shut up.
I know.
You ungrateful fat piece of shit.
Get out of here.
We did that to my parents a couple of times and I still I still feel bad about just fucking
ruining vacations left and right for no reason.
Oh yeah.
Dude, well, we also there's a fucking there's a big the big to do and I don't know it was
when I was there.
The big did we got our hands on a couple of tickets was the fucking wax museum in Niagara
Falls.
And I remember walking around with my dad being like, what the fuck is this?
We drove fucking seven and a half hours to fucking look at a wax bread pit.
That's not fucking Arnold Schwarzenegger.
What kind of shit you try to pull?
There's wax museums and haunted houses and yeah, real the real thing for people for
well, teenagers and buffaloes.
When you turn 19, you can go up there and drink in Canada.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's right over the moose head right over the fucking bridge.
It's 10 minute drive.
So if you go to a haunted house on vacation, I don't care if you're from Japan or what,
you're fucking trash.
Yeah.
How about this?
There was not only a hard rock cafe up there, but I think one of the final planet Hollywood
there.
Man.
That's where you stole the silverware.
Yeah.
Planet Hollywood's where you start.
I never understood that.
That or the hard, the hard.
The Hollywood memorabilia shit is so fucking trashy.
I remember we went to the Smithsonian and like in DC, we went to a certain part and
it was like Fonzie's jacket.
I'm like, are you fucking kidding me with this shirt from Seinfeld?
Archie bunkers.
That was the only part of the Smithsonian I gave a shit about that.
I was like, there's Archie Bunker's chair.
Yeah.
There's a shirt from Seinfeld.
I was like, cool.
This stuff's way cool.
The first bucket that was over there.
Yeah.
Sputnik's two hallways down.
No, I want to check out the puffy shirt, dad.
Yeah, dad.
Oh, God.
Holy shit.
Fonzie's jacket.
Kippy, what else you got for him?
I think let's just, we got to wrap up in a minute, but let's just do some of the basics.
Sure.
Some of the go-tos that we always do.
These are recurring ones that the fan, the listeners are very adamant about, so we kind
of go over it with all the guests.
You want to leave?
I'm going to take it.
Yeah.
First one off the bat.
I'm guessing a yes.
Did you leave butter on the counter or did you put it in the fridge growing up in Buffalo?
My mom was one of the, we had the tubs.
We did no real margarine.
Margarine.
Nice.
Wait a minute.
I'm sorry.
I don't even know if it's margarine, but just the tubs of like, I cannot believe it's
butter.
Wow.
That trash.
Or blue bonnet.
You know, I still do those.
Did you leave that?
Really?
Did you leave it in the fridge?
Yeah.
We used the container for something else once the, once the, I can't believe it's not butter.
It was gone.
My grandma 100% did that shit.
Sure.
My grandma was big depression and stuff.
So she would like save rubber bands and be like, you never know.
You know, that kind of stuff.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Fucking war drive.
Here we go.
Yeah.
She would save the tops of like these things on the tops of your tabs.
What?
Yeah.
And then she would like, I don't know what things she would submit them to.
Or something for like you.
Yeah.
I don't know what it was.
There was a program where you could collect those and I don't know if it was like charity
or you got like, you know, the schools or something.
Yes.
Yes.
It went to the schools.
Yes.
Ridiculous about it.
She'd have like grocery bags of these fucking.
What are the kids going to do with the tops of fucking Red Bull?
I was like, how much money could the schools be getting out of this that you are dedicating
a great portion of your life to collecting them?
Do a bake sale.
Something.
Make a couple of bucks.
Yeah.
You don't have to make a fucking lemon square.
What the fuck?
The juice is not worth the squeeze on this one.
I don't think for the schools.
Not even close.
It's so funny that you say that.
That's like a recurring.
In a hundred years we'll get a new basketball.
What the fuck?
I mean, have you seen the fucking state of the schools?
You're not helping.
I mean.
That's fucking funny.
All right.
And I guess last one would be milk for dinner.
When you were growing up, did you drink milk for dinner?
I have a big aversion to milk.
My mom tried to pedal it on me, but I'm super grossed out by milk to be honest.
I don't like the smell of it.
The sight of it.
If it spills on a counter, I'm like, let's light the counter on fire.
Wow.
Try not to bite him in D.
Oh man.
Yeah.
He used to drink it.
You can name any liquid and I would prefer to consume it over milk.
I like that.
I'm talking about any liquid.
That's all right.
In my book, where would you go up?
Where would you keep the ketchup?
Where would you keep the syrup?
Keep the ketchup in the fridge or keep it in the cabinet?
I think it would stay in like the cabinet until it was opened.
Of course.
And then it would go in the fridge.
Proper procedure.
Classy.
Yeah.
And the maple syrup.
And the maple syrup.
Again, another product that I'm grossed out by a weird thing.
What?
The maple syrup.
What do you put on your egos or your French toast?
I'm a big egg.
I do not eat like French toast or waffles.
I'm just eat an egg, straight up eggs guy, hot sauce guy, not a syrup guy.
I don't like sweets very much.
The smell of maple syrup actually made me faint one time in school.
Like that old, remember that old smell in school?
Tough guy.
Maple syrup made me faint.
Wow.
So grossed out by it.
Jesus.
That's wild.
That is wild.
Two weirdo versions.
Yes.
Yeah.
I was not expecting that.
The milk I'll give you.
Yeah.
But no French toast.
So you don't like pancakes?
Nope.
Nope.
Not really.
Jesus.
This guy is something else.
I bet your dad makes a good flapjack on the griddle.
Oh, he does.
He's great.
I mean, eggs, flapjacks.
He probably knows his way around the fucking griddle.
Somebody that can work the flat top.
Oh, I fucking love it.
Cash browns.
I mean, he can make breakfast like crazy.
I love it.
I'm chubbing up over here.
Yeah.
All right.
I think that's it, right?
I'm gassed.
And I got to be honest with you fucking garbage through and through.
And I love it.
Hell yeah.
Hell yeah.
I own that.
I think that's part of my brand to be quite honest with you.
Yeah.
I knew that I would get along great on this one.
The question when there was a question mark, I'm like, you can just put a period.
You are garbage.
Yeah.
Definitely garbage doesn't have to come out.
Yeah.
Definitely garbage.
Yeah.
Sophisticated garbage.
I would actually say calculated.
Yes.
Calculated.
Calculated trash.
Calculated in your trash.
I respect that.
I respect that.
Yeah.
Fucking absolutely amazing.
Josh, anything you want the folks out there to know before we get you out of here?
I'm just all my shows are like pending or whatever.
But you can follow me on Twitter at J underscore Potter.
And they're listed up there.
The ones that have been rescheduled and they're going off as far as I know for now.
And other than that, I'm, I can be seen on your mom's house.
And also I'm just playing video games on Twitch.
So you can subscribe to my Twitch channel, which is twitch.tv slash Josh underscore Potter.
That's about it.
Congratulations to you guys, by the way, on a guest digital now and everything.
Thank you so much, brother.
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Josh Potter, a fucking fantastic episode.
Kippy, what do you got?
Guys at Kevin Ryan comedy on all social media.
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Big shout out to our producer, Dylan.
Thank you, buddy.
You're the absolute best, Mr. Josh Potter.
Thank you so much, brother.
And we'll see you guys.
Appreciate it, buddy.
Thank you, gang.