Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Lil Sas!

Episode Date: June 19, 2023

Kippy and Foley are joined by the one and only lil sas! Thanks for listening. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! NEW MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevi...nryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Rocket Money: https://www.rocketmoney.com/garbage Butcher Box: https://www.ButcherBox.com/AYG Promo Code: AYG Adam & Eve: https://www.adamandeve.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Pump the brakes there gang get over to that are you garbage calm and pick up some a YG gear we're talking T zipostyle Lighters you got the kippy's heaters and cooling you got the garbage shirts you got the Bernie shirts Do yourself a favor pick something up for the one you love also. It's the one stop shop for all YG live show tickets baby There's still some tickets left to the second show, but it's gonna to sell out in Red Bank, New Jersey. Get those tickets now Friday, August 11th. Don't snooze cause you're going to lose. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Gabbitch, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash.
Starting point is 00:00:45 Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast. This is our You Garbage. Oh yeah. So that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we finally have to go to be classy. Or to just a big old piece of trash.
Starting point is 00:01:03 I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tuddy's in a new edition. She's out in the polkinoes. Okay. Picking up a couple lifeguarding shifts. Oh, okay. Can't swim, but she can make a 911 call. She needs to.
Starting point is 00:01:16 Fair enough. My co-host is coming at you right next to me. Unimmused this week. Uh-huh. He is a CEO of our youth garbage. And he's my best pal in the whole wide world. Even though we don't live for my jokes. Give it up for K.J. Kevin James Ryan CEO of our You garbage. He's my best pal in a whole wide world. Even though we don't live for my jokes. Give it up for
Starting point is 00:01:26 KJ Kevin James Ryan. What up gang? Thanks for tuning in as always. Please make sure you're right. We use subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube as you know those numbers are true to roof. And then the greatest website of all time in the books. Call up Guinness.
Starting point is 00:01:38 Let's go. Let's go. W-W-W-W Patreon.com. Sons of you garbage gang. Sign up over there. It's a goddamn party. We're having fun over there Gang and having a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire the magic man. Mm-hmm makes us all look good works The ones to twos the threes and the fours he crosses the tees and he dots the eyes give it up for T-bone McScruffins Toby McMillan everybody What up boys? What's up pal? Dude I'm stoked. We got one of the young guns Got a cool kid in here looks Looks like he knows his way around
Starting point is 00:02:05 an Xbox controller and a 3D Dorito. Yeah, I'm trying to fudge my TikTok numbers. Let him know that I'm in the know. I know what's going on. Gang, the long hair ain't lying. We couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly and I mean incredibly special guests here with us today for the first time.
Starting point is 00:02:20 He is one of the rising stars over there in the bar stool universe. Universe, you can hear. Yeah. God damn it, I look cool on hooker whip. time. He is one of the rising stars over there in the barstool universe universe. You can get him. God damn it. I look cool. I'm not gonna kiss you. Now I'm not getting invited to the head since this weekend. You can hear him every week on son of a boy dad and of course the yak give it up for a little size everybody. There he is. Thank you. Internet phenol. This is awesome. Never combed his hair. I'll tell you that. Oh, man, my hair is a pride. It's been trying to figure it out for 22 years. I still have it.
Starting point is 00:02:52 What are you putting in that? Everything. I thought it was going to be nothing. My hair is like stick straight. So if I don't put anything in it, it's just like a bowl cut. Yeah. That's a tough look. It's tough. It's hard. Look at your little Pee. Yeah. That's a tough look. It's tough, it's hard. Look at you, a little Danish boy. Yeah. I know. Probably looks bad right now.
Starting point is 00:03:08 I wish I could see that. No, it looks, it's good. It looks perfectly disheveled. Yeah, you have the, I don't care. Yeah. I care type. Yeah, but I do, I do care so much. I don't know that.
Starting point is 00:03:16 I wouldn't tell people that, but I believe that. If I didn't care, I would not put anything in it. Give us three hours of. Give us the backstory. Where did you grow up? I have my ideas. I'm from anything in it. Three hours of. Give us the backstory. Where'd you grow up? I have my ideas. I'm from Massachusetts, from the suburbs of Massachusetts. Okay.
Starting point is 00:03:31 Mom, dad, brother, sisters. Yeah, I got a mother, a father. Both of them. And I have three sisters. Three sisters? Are you the youngest? No, I'm the second oldest. I have two younger sisters and one older sister.
Starting point is 00:03:43 Okay, and how far apart are they? My older sister's like a year older than me. All right. And my younger sister is four years younger than me, and then my other younger one is maybe six years younger than me. So they're in high school. One of them just graduated high school like two weeks ago, and the other one is going into high school.
Starting point is 00:04:00 Oh, holy shit. You are by far the youngest person who's in the show. Yeah. If I like a decade. Yeah, probably. Wow. Did you break your brother off anything for the graduation? I don't have a brother. Sister. I did. I gave her cash. Oh, how much? We're just talking about that. I hear $500. Get the fuck out of here. All right, class act. Save it all that money on hair products.
Starting point is 00:04:26 Are you shitting me? I mean, oh, it's graduation. No, that's good. We were just talking. You were, what were you gonna do? A hundred or 15? I was gonna do four for who? For my cousin who's graduating in high school.
Starting point is 00:04:37 Oh, I wouldn't get my cousin anything. Yeah, it's my younger sister. He owes me $20. Yeah. What did your parents say about that? My dad tried to not let her have it. It's my younger sister. He owes me $20. Yeah. What did your parents say about that? My dad tried to not let her have it. He was like, she can have a hundred of it.
Starting point is 00:04:50 It was actually like a whole, I was on my way to the train station going back to New York and he was like, she can have a hundred. And then I had to call him like, what the, is my money? I was with the fucking talking about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. What did your parents do? I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:05:02 No. What do you mean? What did they do for work? My dad works in insurance and my mom? I thought you meant for graduation He gave her 50 bucks. Yeah, you're making me look like a jerk off out of your ass You and all your new York money get out of here the quarters been slow. What do you want from me? Holy shit your dad works in insurance. Yeah, my sales Like IT, okay. Yeah, all sales. Like IT. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:25 All right. And your mom. My mom has not had a job since for a while. Okay. Yeah. So your dad's doing all right. My dad's doing good. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:33 How old are your parents who don't want me asking? You gotta be your age. I was thinking that. Oh, for sure. You're eight. They're 50s. Yeah. No shit.
Starting point is 00:05:40 Yeah, my dad's, I do, I have no idea. I'm real bad. I'm real bad. These young kids I tell you. They're both over 50. I know they're both over 50. All right. Like 52, 53, 55. Damn, that's crazy.
Starting point is 00:05:50 Yeah, my dad's younger than my mom, like two years. And how old are you exactly? 22. So I could be your dad. How old are you? 47. Ah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:59 Really? Are you actually four? 47, 47. Damn, you look young. They're gonna be able to see that room. I'll tell you that. I know. I'm 28. Are you really kidding dude? I don't know yet a fucking war mode on our podcast. Yeah, we do Billy's 30. Yeah Billy looks like he's fucking 60
Starting point is 00:06:16 Dude I was I was like you your eight years older than me Teemo said A podcast and you really ages I don't say that. That's a bad podcast and you really ages it, you know what I'm saying? So you still live in the same house that you grew up in, right? Yeah, yeah. What's that situation? Is it, you don't give it away, but is it a street?
Starting point is 00:06:33 Is it a road? Is it an avenue? Is it like, you know, Mockingbird Lane, Avenue Road? Well, actually, no, we moved once. Okay, so get a road lane. Okay. We moved in within the same town. Okay. Yeah. Is that are you close to boss? Is it Boston? It's like 30, 40 minutes from Boston. No one's actually
Starting point is 00:06:51 from Boston. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. People like to say they are. Sure. I tell people I'm from Boston. Okay. From 45 minutes away from Boston. Yeah, but that's I mean, that's one of the things like you're like, if you said the name of your town and you go, where's that? And you go 45 minutes outside. Yeah. Hold your, totally. You're from Boston. Exactly. You wrote for the sports teams. It's your, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. Huh, all right.
Starting point is 00:07:10 Okay, what was the supermarket? They shopped at growing up and now. Ooh, that's a good one. Market basket. Hanifords. What? The inner fruit. Sound was the one that I grew up shopping at.
Starting point is 00:07:21 And I think now it's stop and shop. Stop and shop's a good. Okay. All right, not bad. High school? Yeah, what? What? What?
Starting point is 00:07:31 What? What was it? It was a big question. Did it? Yeah. What was it name of the mascot? Dragons. The dragon.
Starting point is 00:07:40 Dragons. That's not bad. That's kind of new age, though, maybe. No? Yeah. And the Harry Potter vibes. What were your mascots? I was the hawks. Yeah, I was the hawk. Yeah, Trojans Trojans Was a popular one. Yeah, trojans are yeah, it was easy. It's left the guy on there Trojans are easy. So some kid in the helmet running around football games saving the artwork. How are the grades in high school? Really bad really really bad. Really? Really bad.
Starting point is 00:08:05 We were actually just talking about this. We were actually talking about this. I was just talking about this. Three years ago. That's crazy. Well, I was in the middle of the pandemic. So yeah. Yeah, I did terrible in high school.
Starting point is 00:08:16 Did you think the SATs? I did. And what'd you get on them? Terrible. It's out of 20s, it was out of 2600. No, it's not. For you, it's probably when you were in the 16th. I was 16, 1600.
Starting point is 00:08:24 Yeah, what'd you get? you. I was 16, 1600. Yeah. What'd you get? I got an 870, so don't feel bad. All right. I got, I think I got it up to an 11 or maybe a 10. That's crazy. What's to mean for digits?
Starting point is 00:08:34 We operate by toolkit multiple times. Did they take it? Did you have to get tutored for it? Yeah. Because I did the first time, like little studying studying, little tutoring, and I was like, do I fucking ace that? And then I got it back, and I got like a seven ten. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:49 Yeah. Yeah. Which is like, I think you get 400 points of your life in that. Yeah, that's one of those things. Showing ups have to think, you know? Yeah, that was really bad. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:08:57 Did you go to college? Did you go to school? I went to school for like six months. Where'd you go? To Paul and Chicago. That's a good school. Yeah, it's okay. Isn't it, the Paul's a good school to get into?
Starting point is 00:09:06 Ah! I think it's pretty easy to get into. And then you dropped out. Dropped out, yeah. You're a college dropout. Yes, I got him. I'm looking in the house. Kids do it.
Starting point is 00:09:14 Yeah, yeah. How did your parents react when you wanted to drop out of? So I dropped out, so I got sent home. This was right in the beginning of the pandemic was when I was a freshman in college. Oh, jeez. She's in my student house. I was a freshman in college. Geez. Shit.
Starting point is 00:09:26 I had already crashed in burn. That was like, I was due to pandemic. I was like a Phoenix rising from the ashes. I still had a wicked drug problem. Yeah, holy shit. So I dropped out right when I, so the pandemic happened, like six months in,
Starting point is 00:09:40 and then I got sent home, and then I was at home, and I was started doing bad. I was doing good in college up until then. Right. And then bars tool reached out to me and then I got hired there and then I dropped out right away. And then my parents were like, I was like the original plan was like I'm gonna give it a year if it doesn't work out. I'll go back to see you had to do online classes at home for like three months. Damn that's crazy. Yeah. That's the way back in your old room. Uh this. I'm not going to be a fan of this. I'm not going to be a fan of this.
Starting point is 00:10:06 I'm not going to be a fan of this. I'm not going to be a fan of this. I'm not going to be a fan of this. I'm not going to be a fan of this. I'm not going to be a fan of this. I'm not going to be a fan of this. I'm not going to be a fan of this. I'm not going to be a fan of this.
Starting point is 00:10:22 I'm not going to be a fan of this. I'm not going to be a fan ofer. I'm not going to lie. I was like, damn, it's really loving windows. Holy shit. Okay. Young buck. Huh, what were the pets like growing up? We had dogs all my life.
Starting point is 00:10:37 Yeah. Ran through a couple of them. Like, you sure? Yeah. And then now I have two dogs. Okay. Yeah. Family has two dogs. Family has two dogs. I have no dogs. What kind of dogs are they? I'm like mixes, a bunch two dogs. Okay. Yeah. Family has two dogs. Family has two dogs.
Starting point is 00:10:45 I have no dogs. What kind of dogs are they? I'm like mixes a bunch of shit. Okay. Your parents are adoption people. Yeah. Okay. What are the names?
Starting point is 00:10:53 Lilo and Stitch. We do not pick those names. That's how they came names. They came names. Really? Okay. Yes. Storm from Disney.
Starting point is 00:11:01 I know. I know. Um. Where's your parent? Where's your dad go to college? Bapson. Bapson. In some of those? Bapsons in Welsley, Massachusetts. What's their lineage? Your parents come from money? They start from the bottom? No, neither of them come from money.
Starting point is 00:11:14 My dad came from money, then they lost all of it. All right. I know that's what it is. And then, and then yeah, then they were like poor as fuck. And he grinded his way out of it. Yeah. I imagine he does pretty good. My dad does good. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:29 What's he whipping around town in? Kind of car does he drive? Uh, BMW. Re- How many bedrooms is the house? 42 five right? It's a five bedroom house. It's for a we all our own room. Okay. Yeah, I guess I'm Dad and my mom share a room. So we're kind, right? So we're kinda slummin' it. Close and deals. They sleep in bunk beds. What's in, what's in,
Starting point is 00:12:10 what's in, they're not doing anything weird up there. If we went back to your house right now, what would your bedroom look like? What it looked like? Oh, this is a guest room? What would be like, oh, this is a society room. No, it's like a guest room.
Starting point is 00:12:24 Okay. There's nothing in it. All right. Do you have any posters on your wall growing up? No, I did growing up, but it's my bedroom's completely emptied. And what's down in the basement? Is it finished? No.
Starting point is 00:12:32 So what were you doing? I went out. No. So you were just, you were literally down in the basement. Like, next to the D.U. Midifier, play a Minecraft. Yeah, pretty much. It's kind of a shitty basement.
Starting point is 00:12:43 I wouldn't say it's finished. We smoking doobies down here? Now I was play a Minecraft. Yeah, pretty much. It's kind of a shitty basement. I wouldn't say it's finished. We smoking doobies down here? Now I was drinking a lot. We, but it was like no one would go out and buy beer. So I had to drink like 13% IPAs that had like flakes at the bottom of that. Were you 21? Is it time? No.
Starting point is 00:12:58 Okay. I was 18. Jesus. Or 19. I guess I was 19 at the time. This kid plays it fast and loose. What was that? And or tight. I'm not sure. What was your job growing up? Did you start? Did you work when you were a kid? Yeah. I, uh, I had some, I was just bad.
Starting point is 00:13:12 I was bad at everything. You know, you guys good at things when you were younger. Like you just play sports or anything? Yeah. Yeah. Which play? I wasn't good at it. Football wrestling on the cross. Oh, wow. You were an athlete. Yeah. Little bit the cool sports. Yeah. Look Look I played the cross for like two years. Okay. Sucked. All right. Women's. Yeah. I would have been probably better at women. Australian league. Yeah. I uh yeah. I had a I did a lot of landscaping. I started like a landsca I started like a landscaping company when I was like in eighth grade. Now we're talk as a more called four guys, one job. How many guys? I come over and use your lawn mower.
Starting point is 00:13:47 Yeah, no, that's exactly what we would do. Hey, there's no kids in the same. That's exactly what we would do. Wait, what do you mean? Yeah, and we would walk to the houses. Cause we'd now know it was good drive. So we would do the walk every hour. And then what say, hey, I'll use your,
Starting point is 00:13:59 yeah, that was part of the whole deal. So you guys need to have it. You gotta have a lawn mower. Yeah, a weed work. Yeah, it was kind of like like it was more like odd jobs. Like one time we moved, one time me and one of my buddies, we had to move like a thousand just, uh, center blocks from like one place to another.
Starting point is 00:14:14 And I actually like exploded a tendon in my arm doing it because it was so much, so many blocks moving around. Oh, this kids. He's a go getter. Did you start an LLC and all that stuff? Hell no, no. That was a cash offer. This was like two summers.
Starting point is 00:14:28 And then I got a, then I started doing, I was a bus boy for a while. And that was a restaurant. It was just like the one of the town restaurants. It's a normal restaurant. And that was bad. That was pretty bad. I was really bad at that.
Starting point is 00:14:41 I couldn't, it was a big restaurant, like 200 tables maybe. And they would be like, bring this to 193D. And I'd be like, I don't know, where the fuck is 193D? And then I have to stare at the fucking chart. At the chart. And then I'd have to go back out and like, fuck, I forget where it is.
Starting point is 00:14:56 I have to go back in and find the chart again. I know that panic in shame. Yeah. Every second seems like an hour. Because you go back to the kitchen, they freak out. What are you doing? Don't you bring that to the one-manly dude day? I'd get yelled at a lot.
Starting point is 00:15:09 I brought out, I started like getting confident and bringing food out to tables. And then one day, there was like a 12-person party, big ass table in like a private room. And they got, someone got the fish tacos. And I saw the fish tacos were under like the hot lamp thing. So like, I'm gonna bring the fish tacos out, bring them out, go back to doing work,
Starting point is 00:15:28 and someone else comes into the kitchen and look, who the fuck brought out the fish tacos? And I was like, hi, I just hate in the dish pit, and then I had to have a sit down meeting mid shift with the chef and the manager in the manager's office. And they were like, the fish tacos were ready an hour before the rest of the food, so that guy's done with his food in the
Starting point is 00:15:45 45 minutes for everyone else. Man! Yeah. Yeah. So you know you fucked up when the chef sits down in an office. He's in the weeds. He's like, I gotta go yell at this 15 year old kid. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:57 God damn. Yeah and then I had a job at like a pizza sub place. Well, it was the name of the pizza place in your town I was gonna ask. That one wasn't in my town. That one wasn't in my town. That one wasn't in the town next to me. It was, that one was called a Cravings. Okay. And then there was like a Benchwarmers.
Starting point is 00:16:11 Ooh. Which was actually good. Good pizza. Good pizza. Is that, where would you guys get your pizza growing up? There. You would. Benchwarmers.
Starting point is 00:16:19 Get it from Benchwarmers. Yeah, Craving sucked. Okay. I mean, I was doing the pizzas. Oh my, shit. Yeah, I was like the head of the pizza operation. I had fired up the pizza. Yeah, I got fired bad. I see you all pepperoni right now. You know you're talking to?
Starting point is 00:16:35 This dude really spins it. I had a landscape accompany. Are you about to? With other people's help. Nobody was my, we would post on like the Facebook groups and we'd be like, all jobs. I'm the director of Zahmeh. Welcome to For Guys and you're equipping. Well, if you came, like a mat, dude, I can be came like the head of that operation though, because I would, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was or anything. Hell no, no. No, no. No, one point of became 20 dudes. And I was still a four dude.
Starting point is 00:17:26 I just like my top guys. You just like my top guys. Hey Ricky, you know, you're one of my top guys, right? As a director, it is operation. Give it to my office for a minute. Don't mind the Minecraft. What were the family vacations like? We didn't really go up vacation a lot at all.
Starting point is 00:17:43 We got to Florida once or twice. Disney? We went to Disney when I was really young. I don't even remember that. Okay. Yeah. And then we'd go to like to get into Cape Cod. A lot of my grandparents live in the Cape.
Starting point is 00:17:55 Okay. To go down there. That's a grandparents place. Going down the shore for a little bit. Yeah. And sports, you just played the cross for a little bit. I played everything growing up. I played baseball, soccer, hockey. I played hockey for a really long time
Starting point is 00:18:08 I was kind of like my sport for a while. Okay. I was really bad at it and then I was not I'm not a kind of my sport. I was really bad athletic and then I played golf for in high school Which was actually awesome nice was there nice course in your hometown? So we would play on the nice course. Yeah. It was a private course, but you had to make the team, but then you'd pay, it was like $250 for a season, and then you'd play on the nice course every single day for all of the fall.
Starting point is 00:18:35 It's pretty tight. Pretty tight, yeah. Were your parents members of the course? No. No. No. Not golf people? No. My dad is a little bit now, but it's still not members. Do you still go for no? I haven't played in a while Okay, are you still on your parents insurance? Yes, you're on their cell phone plan. No, okay, you're on cell phone
Starting point is 00:18:53 I'm cell phone. I have like all that is a record tell communication Yeah, four guys one job Yeah, four guys one job actually covers my insurance I got great benefits Yeah, four guys one job actually covers my insurance I got great benefits I could give it up Braces as a kid. Yeah nice. How long do you wear them? Geez too long too long all of middle school and then up until freshman year of high school. Were you bad with them? I threw
Starting point is 00:19:20 Yeah, he's crushing that vape I know Yeah, he's crushing that vein Kind of I don't know these lights So you go through it the force man she took it to business. I'm down the two guys two guys no job You are the embodiment of what every six-year-old guy thinks Gen Z Here goes buster's teacher you put it a shirt and tie He's one of the ghost buses the ironically, dude Kim, but talk about rocket money rocket money that got this goddamn inflation on who knows what's going on Jamming the kids up this guy's gonna for a way to save a couple of bucks
Starting point is 00:20:02 Rocket money used the way to go it It tells you what subscription jad. And if you want to cancel them, right there, you chop it on the chop of the block. A lot of people think they're doing about what? 80? Something like that? About 80 a month? Yeah.
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Starting point is 00:21:03 Let's talk about, man, baby. You mean the box of butchers? Let's talk about Man, just go into your freezer and just seeing a whole treasure trove A free range chicken of grass fed, grash finish beef. Mm-hmm. You got talking burgers the size of your boobs, man Good stuff. I got two racks of ribs in there that I'm waiting for a special occasion to break these babies out. We love butcher box, man. You don't know what you're getting when you're at the grocery store. You know they change labels sometimes over there. You think you're getting some freshness
Starting point is 00:21:33 from the Reagan administration. You're feeding your kids green hot dogs. You don't know what's going on. Yeah, you can get your nutrition on point with the meats you can trust. Butcherbox cells, you mainly raise cuts with no antibiotics or no hormones. You can even customize your butcher box get exactly the right kinds of meats for all your favorite meals I let them do it because they know what they're done and they send to kids or some fresh cut. Yeah, surprise me
Starting point is 00:21:54 Butcher box has a special deal just for the boso sign up today. Shout out to it. Let's go Butcherbot at butcherbox.com slash a YG use code a YG to receive free flanks taking every box for three months. They're given a flanks out Hey plus 20 bucks off your first order. No, that's right folks free flanks takes in every box I want those flanks for three months plus 20 bucks off your first order when you sign up at butcherbox.com S like a YG. You're giving a gosh don't farm away just but your box use code a YG one more time butcher box comm slash a YG promo code a YG Do it game. Oh man that is all right Lunches growing up. Yeah, what would you would you bring to school bring every day? You would bring every day He's making that lunch my mother your mom would make it. Yeah, she said that a little disdain bad lunches
Starting point is 00:22:41 Bad lunches. Why she You know what she would do, that would really, like, day ruiner. You'd get to, I mean lunches, like the bed, it's like the only positive part of the entire day in high school. And then you'd get to lunch, and I would open up my sandwich, and she would take the end pieces,
Starting point is 00:22:58 and she would flip them inside out, so you wouldn't know they were end pieces until you took a bite into the sandwich, and then you have two end pieces. And you're like, God, be fucking kidding man. That's a day real. It's a day runner. What kind of sammies we talking? It was always turkey or PB&J. Okay. Nothing ever in between that. What kind of drinks you thrown in there? No, no none? No, water? Yeah, a bottle of water. I would just have water at school. Jesus. Yeah. What about goldfish? Anything like that? Cracker. Sometimes like a bag of chips.
Starting point is 00:23:27 It was really, it was light. Light launches. What was the pantry like at home? Was that full? Or no, one of those houses where it was like croutons and it's not. We got nothing. I'll start my water.
Starting point is 00:23:37 I still go home and I'm like, there's no food. I'm like, there's plenty of food. I'm like, well, I don't want to fucking make like a whole meal right now. I just want something to eat right now. No snacks. No snacks, no good snacks. Cheese. Rough snacks.
Starting point is 00:23:47 Rough snack, or? Yeah. Chips, usually chips. We always had chips, but that was pretty much it. And only dogs, no birds, no snakes, no nothing like that. No birds or snakes now. Okay. All right.
Starting point is 00:23:57 Man. Huh. Wild. No vacations. We would like, yeah, pretty much just go to the cape. A lot. That's what people do up there though. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:08 How old were you when you got your passport? Ooh. 17? And where'd you go? I went to Europe. Okay. With the family? I went on a school trip.
Starting point is 00:24:21 Okay. Yeah. That was actually really fun. That was, we went to France and Italy. We took a train. Oh, we need to eat this public school or private school, public school, public school. Yeah. Okay. Optional trip. I'll go for a trip. I've got to pay for it. Yeah. Yeah. That's front for that. Or is that four guys money? That's four guys. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:39 We had to take a loan out. And now I'm definitely my. You're going to, you're gonna take one team trip as an LLC, it's a write-off, talk to my account. I'm trying to expand operations in the year of. Couldn't figure out the plugs, so we came back. Wow. Wow. I want to name it the mall in your hometown.
Starting point is 00:24:58 Ooh, it's changed a lot. It was the Kingston mall originally. Sounds okay. And it changed to the independent small, but I don't even know if it really like a zig-zag thing anymore. You would never add now. You and your generation, you'd never go there
Starting point is 00:25:10 and hang out and stuff like that. Oh, yeah, we would. Oh, you would. Oh, yeah, it was like the best place to go. Yeah, we got a mall. We were skateboarding like that or rollerblading. No, we'd go like the movies. Okay.
Starting point is 00:25:18 Go to Spencer's and go look at the Dildos. All right, there you go. Yeah. One time me and my buddy wanted to get, we decided that we wanted to buy pocket pussies and we took a bus to the mall to go buy pocket pussies and then we got there and all they had, it was like a purple alien vagina pocket pussy.
Starting point is 00:25:34 And I was like, ah, I think I'm gonna pass on that. What the fuck? Wait, you were gonna buy them as a joke or like functionality of like, I was like, I was like, we were like, we were like, we were like, I want to fuck a pocket pussy today. Jesus. Today.
Starting point is 00:25:44 I didn't know they sold them in the mall. They don't they only sell the alien ones Mission to bring your bro on dude. Yeah, well, he was both of us. We decided we were like yes, it's gonna be a good idea Who I get okay, yeah, all right you guys never did anything like that no I mean I didn't go to the motorbike sex toys. I did see a movie every now and then when I was a youngster. All right, so your mom was banned at lunches. How was she in the kitchen otherwise? Did she have a specialty dish?
Starting point is 00:26:18 Well, what kind of, would you guys eat dinner as a family every night? Like when you were in high school? We would eat dinner as a family when I was in like middle school and then high school We kind of stopped doing that kind of just sit on the couch and eat the whole family would sit on the couch Eat you kind of just eat when you ate actually and then she cooking yeah But what you throw at you you're chicken every single night always chicken my kind of house I'll speak out gonna eat meatballs sometimes. Okay.
Starting point is 00:26:46 Basic meals. She good, great. Would you speak any meatballs? Yeah. Make a meatloaf, throw a meatloaf. Yeah, there are some meatloafs here and there. All right. Chilly, not every now and then.
Starting point is 00:26:54 What about breakfast? What would you normally have for breakfast? Bagel. Have a bagel. Bagel with cream cheese. Was it like bought at a bakery or like store, like store ball in a bag? Store ball in a bag.
Starting point is 00:27:03 In the freezer? Sometimes. Okay. Yeah. All right. What were you driving to school in? In high school. GMC Acadia.
Starting point is 00:27:11 I don't even know what that was. It was my mom's car. It's like an SUV. It's like one of those traverse type cars. So you would take her car. Yeah. I think my mom had really. And she wouldn't have a car all day.
Starting point is 00:27:20 Oh no, it was her old car. She gave, yeah, she passed it down. Nice. Okay. And then it got passed down again to my yeah, she passed it down. Nice. Okay. And then it got passed down again to my sister and then they got rid of it. Okay. Do you have a car now and I said,
Starting point is 00:27:29 yeah, no, no, no, no. Huh. Okay. Very unique. Yeah, wild. Is it? A little bit. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:38 I mean, you were a business owner. It's her date. Hahaha. Wait, when was the one of my proudest accomplishments? You only had ends of. It ain't. It ain't. It ain't. It ain't. It ain't. It ain't. It ain't. It ain't.
Starting point is 00:27:49 It ain't. It ain't. It ain't. It ain't. It ain't. It ain't. It ain't. It ain't.
Starting point is 00:27:57 It ain't. It ain't. It ain't. It ain't. It ain't. It ain't. It ain't. It ain't. It ain't. It ain grocery store? Like in New York? Yeah. I did. So when I first moved here, yeah, like heavily.
Starting point is 00:28:07 And do you have roommates now? I just moved in by myself. Just got a place by yourself. Like two months ago. One bedroom. Yes. Nice. West Village.
Starting point is 00:28:15 Look at you. Very nice. Still on all right. Yeah. That's littlesass.com. There you go. It's actually littlesassquatchwebsite.com. Oh my god. A director of... com it's actually little sasquatch website dot com
Starting point is 00:28:27 director of i mean you think you can you think you know a guy i don't know how that came about i forget there something was i think little sasquatch comedy and little sasquatch was a little sasquatch website dot com yeah i don't know if there's another website in the history of websites that has website in it I don't hate it square space websites doesn't even have websites now all right So you move into the you get your own place. Yeah, um, do you get new furniture and all that stuff? I got a couch
Starting point is 00:28:56 You got a couch sectional no just a regular straight on straight on cash brand new or you buy used brand new Okay, what's the bed situation queen king single full yeah Fuller queen I think it's a full all right. Yeah, and that's on the ground What else is in your bedroom? Deity couple of milk rates you want actually I think I actually have a picture. Yes, yes No, please that's exactly what we want like a sex dungeon. It's baffling But you pocket push it but you're purple dildos everywhere. It's actually it's kind of like
Starting point is 00:29:35 It's kind of like unsettling. This is from my point of view of the Oh my god Dude Can you see that from there? Oh, you have to drop it in. It's literally in the same asylum. You got the comfort. No, that's all right. The comfort.
Starting point is 00:29:55 It's really bad. Yeah, it's bad. It's a window. There's a window and it's small and there's no sunlight that gets into it because it looks out into like the alleyway. Yeah. Do you have an AC in there? No.
Starting point is 00:30:09 No AC in that one in? I'm going to get one. Yeah. You'll be cooking in there all summer. Yeah. It's, well the thing is I didn't use the bedroom for a while. So I'm on the couch. I just had my mattress in like the main room and uh, and like the big, the bigger room. And
Starting point is 00:30:27 then, uh, I just moved the bed in, I think last week. Okay. So there's nothing on the walls. And it's just a mattress on the ground. What's the rest of the apartment now that the mattress is in the proper domicile? What's in the new room? A cow or in the big room, as you call a couch desk TV? Okay. What's a TV on? It's on top of like the fireplace mantle. Oh, it's mounted There's a man. Oh, yeah, okay, I don't work. I assume no, no, okay. How big is the TV? 5045 all right. Yeah, so with decent TV. Yeah, got the Xbox hooked up. Oh, yeah, okay Yeah, actually I play a place day I play PlayStation but I played on a small a smaller TV on my desk really yeah You got to get close you got to play on like a monitor like that. You got to get close
Starting point is 00:31:10 That's how you're supposed to play you can't play from far away else. They'll be lag you got the headset and all that stuff Oh, yeah big gamer play a lot of video games. What's in your refrigerator right now gamer juice? G fuel right now. Gamer juice. G Fuel. G Fuel and Taukes. No, I play in my refrigerator. I tried out Hello Fresh for a while. Okay, love Hello Fresh. Yeah, but I have a mini fridge. Oh my god. Yeah, so the meats were going bad. So I think I might have just- There's a freezer, yeah, I might have to steer away from the Hello Friends. You have the life in eighth-grader dreams, though. Yeah, I'm glad. But I'm cooking for myself, which is good,
Starting point is 00:31:51 because I went through like a two-year phase of just ordering everything. You got a, is there a stove in there? Yeah, okay. Stove top. Stove top. Yeah, Alvin? No.
Starting point is 00:32:02 No oven. No oven, just a stove top. Just a stove top. Wait, how's that possible? What's underneath the stove top? Mini fridge. And this is that rikers, you said. Right, what the fuck?
Starting point is 00:32:12 Wait, how did you have that? It's just an electric stove top. Jesus. So it's like just the, there's two stove top cookers. It's a hot plate. You have a hot plate. Yeah, pretty much. And then below it is the mini fridge. There's like a plate. You have a hot plate. Yeah, pretty much and then below it is the mini fridge
Starting point is 00:32:25 There's like a there's like a Splat yeah, it's not yeah That's okay. You also have to give him a curvy's 22. I'm going to New York. I've got the don't pretty god damn good I'll tell you that I was on a couch and yeah, of course of course, okay, I just keep forgetting his job like he's 22 He's got a place in the West Village. He's rich And no roommates Crazy you didn't buy this place did you know now rented here? I lived in West Village before too for a year And I had two roommates there, but that apartment was really small, okay, really small like all I had was a bed
Starting point is 00:33:04 Okay, and that was I would play PlayStation again, and I would have to sit. It was at the end. It was at the foot of my bed on the window. I have to sit Chris Cross applesauce closer to the... Because I said Chris Cross applesauce. Yeah. Yeah. I do. That's just a force of habit. I say that all the time. It feels weird not thrown in the applesauce at the end. As you say, crisscross. It's a nice little dessert. Yeah, applesauce. Yeah, of course.
Starting point is 00:33:29 And then, yeah, so that's how. Just for generational purposes, what was your favorite cartoon growing up when you were a kid? Well, I actually, growing up, I really liked Tom and Jerry for a while. Of course. I watched that a lot. And then I got into South Park. SpongeBob was great. Okay. So that was kind of your, you were a SpongeBob kid. SpongeBob mostly, yeah. All right. Is that what was popular at the time? Yeah, definitely. Okay. Yeah. I mean, that
Starting point is 00:33:57 was probably, I mean, that was huge. It's got to be one of the biggest shows ever. I just didn't know if he caught it when it was at its actual popularity or, he's an offbeat kid. No, it was definitely his, yeah, it's popularity. Okay. Yeah. All right. How many suits do you own now?
Starting point is 00:34:14 None. Do you know how to tie a tie? Yes. Okay. How'd you learn that? Just, I think, I do it like the easy way. I can't do like the perfect try. Just get it close enough. I do like, you easy way. I can't do like the perfect try. Just get it close to the top.
Starting point is 00:34:25 I do like, you go down around up, and yeah, that's what I know how to do. Yeah, I think it's called the Pratt knot. Now, if you had to go to a wedding next week, yeah, what are you wearing? I would have to rent her by suit. You go to H&M Grab, something like sharp. Yeah, okay.
Starting point is 00:34:40 Any of your friends getting married or anything like that, or are you still too young for that? Ah, yeah, no, no one. No one's getting married. Maybe my cousin, I think my cousin's gonna get married soon. So have you friends getting married or anything like that? Or are you still too young for that? Oh yeah, no, no one. No one's getting it. Maybe my cousin, I think my cousin's gonna get married soon. So have you gone to a wedding as an adult like on your own?
Starting point is 00:34:50 Never been to a wedding. You've never been to a wedding? No. It's kind of business is eight, but you've never been to a fucking wedding. You've never, there's a little kid, you've never like the, I don't know, something? No, never.
Starting point is 00:35:01 No kiddin'. Yeah. We never a pole bear. No. Have you ever been to a funeral? No. Really? Yeah, never been to a funeral, never been bear. No, have you ever been to a funeral now? Really? Yeah, never been to a funeral never been to a wedding have you ever been in a limo? No, no, if you're a bit in a car. Yes, okay, man You never been to a never wedding or a funeral now your whole life in front of you
Starting point is 00:35:18 Now fucking awesome Holy shit. Yeah, I think it is abnormal though that I've never been to a wedding or a funeral. Yeah, a little bit because you figure as a like I both your grandparents still alive. All my grandparents are still everybody. They're 66. No, they're old. They're old. They're in their like their 80s and 90s.
Starting point is 00:35:36 Okay. No shit. All right. Oh man. Um, this is such a different aspect of the game. We never played. It's crazy. Um, what is a such a different aspect of the game. We never played. It's crazy. Um, what do you like to drink?
Starting point is 00:35:48 Not booze wise, but like, you know, Kevin likes Diet Coke. What do you drink? Diet Coke. You're a Diet Coke DC, man. Yeah, DC, uh, LaCroix. Okay. Any, any sparkling water or seltzer, but then I got really into Diet Coke. It's the, the, the sparkling seltzer is a gateway to Diet Coke.
Starting point is 00:36:04 Do you have that stuff in the mini fridge now? Oh yeah. So you got diet coax and lacroise in there. Diet coax, diet doctor peppers, really. Croise. That's the whole fridge. Yeah, it is. It is.
Starting point is 00:36:16 But you got to apply a oracle, the drinks are the most important part. You're throwing out the pork loin from all the bread. Yeah, yeah. Diet coax in there. Yeah. Do you drink prime energy drink? I do not know.
Starting point is 00:36:25 Okay. That's, that's way younger than me. Is it? That's like, that's like, you killed that. Dude, it's fucking fantastic. Is it really? It is like one gram of sugar. Really?
Starting point is 00:36:37 Yeah, that's blowing up right now. Yeah, that's you. Yeah, Logan Paul. Yeah. That was all right. Tall drink a prime. Uh huh. Um, if we came to your house right now, we were over at the house and we said, Hey, can
Starting point is 00:36:48 we get a glass of water? What glass of water? What would you give us? Glass of water. Diet cup. Well, but it would be in a red solo cup. It would be in a red solo cup from the faucet. Yes.
Starting point is 00:36:58 I respect that though. As a 22 year old, you don't get the bread. It's from the thought that you can't, you're, you're, you're, you know you're not gonna stay on top of washing glasses. I assume you don't have a dishwasher. No. Yeah, so it's like the red solo cup is the best way to do it to stay on top.
Starting point is 00:37:13 I have mugs for coffee, but that's it. What can I call for you? You make coffee in the house? Yeah, you got a French press, I got a curic. You got a curic. I got one of those one cup curics. Sure, it's like super convenient. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:24 Where are you getting the curic cups from? Are you going to steal them from barstool? I mean do there's a thousand of them. I just take I put them in my backpack and I have them for a month It's all over the place dude. It's squirrely. So you do so you will go to the grocery store Yeah, I haven't been in a while, but I'll be going to. There's a grocery store near my apartment. It's called Brooklyn Fair. Ways to expensive. Pretty class.
Starting point is 00:37:52 You're watching Village, everything. Yeah, I jammed up. I used to go when I was really going to the grocery store, I would go to Trader Joe's. Gentlemen. Yeah. All right, who's the way you go to Laundry? Just a washing fold.
Starting point is 00:38:03 Just go to a wash-fold, drop it off, pick it up. Yeah. If you go home, say you go home, I don't know, fourth of July weekend, you go on your pants. Can you bring laundry and your mom will knock it out for you? I do it myself, but I, when I go home, I bring every pair of underwear that I have. So you can wash it there.
Starting point is 00:38:18 Yeah. Will you do in your laundry when you were living there? Or is your mom doing it? Yeah, for the most part. Really? Yeah, man, I am a loser. Yeah. Because mom still does it.
Starting point is 00:38:29 Really? Really? Your kid's over here doing his own goddamn work. Like a business owner. All right. Do you currently have all matching socks? God no. Your socks don't match right now?
Starting point is 00:38:42 Oh, right, right now? Yeah, they're matching. Ankle ankle socks. No, you go high boys High boys really black or white white What the kids are doing? I think yeah, so white's back. Yeah, white track Okay, I mean because back when I was bang you got call with white socks. What things came with a wedgie? Really? You couldn't do it. Yeah, I was like black socks like I'm talking I'm thinking like more like shorts Like I'll wear black socks for more in pants, if I wear shorts, I can't wear black socks. We're white socks.
Starting point is 00:39:09 Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's opposite to me. Really? I mean, it's just the time we grew up in white socks were the, it was when black socks dropped, it was like if you had white, you're like your dad. What's the undisputed situation? Boxer briefs, what are you rocking?
Starting point is 00:39:23 Boxers. Straight boxes. Straight boxes. I can I can't read on this fucking guy I can't wear boxer briefs. I actually I fucking hate wearing boxer briefs I I was at work recently and I had boxer briefs on and I left and I went to Old Navy and bought boxers and changed in the office and threw away the box of briefs I think they're so uncomfortable But you're in boxers your whole life? Yeah. It seems misgenerational, doesn't it? I'm a boxers, man.
Starting point is 00:39:49 I year 36. I'm 33. What happened? Don't embarrass me in front of the cool team. Yeah. This guy's a cop, dude. Huh. What was the nicest restaurant you've been to in the last 365 last year?
Starting point is 00:40:07 I went to a layburner at N. For the act. For the show. Outside of a rich guy paying for your meal. None. None. I went to a four Charles Prime rib with but Francis took me. Oh, that's okay.
Starting point is 00:40:22 Yeah, it's none. None. I don't not, not, okay. Yeah, I don't really go out. Is he yelling at you when forked to use and stuff like that? 100% hunt, do you, like he holds the menu in front of you and like reads it to you, like telling you what you need to do. That's my wife that it's the most degrading
Starting point is 00:40:35 in the world. Oh, socks. Yeah, great. Can't let's talk about Adam and Eve. I wanna alert, talk about getting weird in the privacy of your own home with somebody, or if you're flying solo, there's no better way to spice things up
Starting point is 00:40:51 than a little Adam and Eve, you know what I mean? Buddy, singles, couples, groups, whatever you're into. Any Adam and Eve, if you wanna go to the chase stadium and get after her, whatever you want. They're talking about aliens, they're talking about climate change, they're talking about all this stuff that's kind of, it's, up the top of your butt get a sex swing who cares? Yeah, man fun
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Starting point is 00:42:00 and rush processing that's Adam and Eve dot com promo code garbage Adam and Eve dot com code garbage do it back to that guy star show gang back to the show well you and your boys go out to eat together chipotle or something probably yeah you're going out like the city on a Friday night well you guys all go out to dinner and then go go to a club or something like that do you do that are you just mostly going to do the stash out of the stand
Starting point is 00:42:24 yeah he's in comedy world where it's like you know Something like that. Do you do that? Are you just mostly going to come? No, I just do the stash out of the stands. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's in comedy world where it's like, you know. Okay. If I hang out my buddies from a home, one of my friends is like a chef cook, so he likes to go to like good food places. And how will you guys break that check up? We'll split it.
Starting point is 00:42:40 We'll split it. When you split it in the moment, like here's four credit cards or somebody will put down a card and everybody will get a Venmo request usually that use the Venmo Request I pay for a lot of stuff now sure because none of them have jobs gotcha So they don't know yeah, no, you stole Venmo request number. Don't worry about it. I got just I just take it Good kid right old Jennings an old soul Well, you send a Venmo request to somebody if they don't know. And last year was like $1,000.
Starting point is 00:43:05 No, really. I mean, it depends on what it's for. Like for drinks or for food, if it's like the next morning, I'm not gonna know. Fucking good man. That's a good, that's a good man. Do you like any of the finer things in life? Like, do you like a nice hotel?
Starting point is 00:43:22 Oh, yeah. You do. Yeah. Okay. What I did, yeah. You do. Yeah. Okay. What I did, Francis made me do this too. I bought a Delta one. Here is Pro de J. Oh, yeah. He hates the way I live so much.
Starting point is 00:43:32 Probably did not even be funny. Like, yeah, probably genuinely. Oh, yeah. Has CC that bedroom? No. God, he was losing. I've never let him come in my heart. He would lose.
Starting point is 00:43:43 You'd have an aneurysm. He would lose his mind. There's no Boston Terry right here. That was going on. Yeah, where's your centerpiece? Where do you keep your speed, Zach? Shout out to Francis. Yeah, Francis is awesome.
Starting point is 00:43:55 But, okay. Francis made me, or he convinced me to fly Delta one with him, right? Okay. We were co-headlining Cubs in San Francisco. Nice. Long flight. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:07 Long flight did it awesome. Can you go back now? Ah, yeah, I don't have it. I can't justify spending that much money. A thousand dollars on a plane ticket. Sure. And you're comfy in coach, right? Yeah, sure.
Starting point is 00:44:20 I mean, my legs slam up against the seat in front of you, but it's doable. Well, you put your seat back when you're in coach, when you're on a plane? My legs slam up against the seat in front of you, but it's doable. Well, you put your seat back when you're in coach when you're on a plane. Yeah, I try, but sometimes they really just don't go back that far. It really doesn't do much. Okay. I recently got a neck pillow, which has kind of been game changer. Look at you.
Starting point is 00:44:39 Yeah. I shot the 401k. Yeah. Ah, huh. Take your shoes off on ak. Yeah. Yeah. Ah, huh. Take your shoes off on a plane. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:50 We bring food on the plane every time. Not like what kind of food you're talking. You tell me. I'm the illerstacks. What do you take on? I can't get on a plane without snacks. Okay. Give me your run down snacks.
Starting point is 00:45:00 Give me your run down to the snacks. Did you hold on? And did you do that when you were on Delta 1 to different? It's like, hey, you don't go to do that. They're going to give you snacks when you get on there. I didn't do that because we almost, because we both down to the snacks. Did you hold on and did you do that when you were on Delta one to different? He's a hey, you don't got to do that. They're gonna give you snacks when you get on there. I didn't do that because we almost because I we both almost missed the flight. I said JFK. I TSA pre check now clear not clear clear clear. Okay. Good. Yeah. Snacks
Starting point is 00:45:16 Pringles die coke water You got to have die coke and a water yeah, and then they serve different purposes. Yeah, exactly and then usually a candy Jolly Ranchers Okay, you're a Jolly Ranchers, man. I like a bag of Jolly Ranch. Yeah, just crush them. Just crush the hard ones are like the tattoo Really the half you ones are fucking good though, man. You are old school Jolly Ranch well my ears my ears Feel tripped. You're still waiting. What do you mean your ears? It helps with my ears my ears pop a ton on planes Are you what so when you have a jolly rancher Are you are you crushing it and chewing it or you sucking on it? Plains usually suck on them
Starting point is 00:45:52 Every other scenario I'm chompin' them really good man. Yeah, yeah, I love eating hard candy like that. Yeah Well, would you say your favorite candy bar is a heath bar score bar? What would you say your favorite candy bar is? Uh, Heath bar, score bar. Ooh, the fuck is this guy? Are you a British spy? Did you say score bar? Yeah. What is that?
Starting point is 00:46:12 My dad's favorite candy bar. It's my mom's favorite, that's why. Yeah, it's like a Heath bar. It's taffy on the toast. Oh, those things? But they're real classy. They're good. It's Hershey's version of the Heath bar.
Starting point is 00:46:23 It's a very classy candy. Man. Hershey's version of the Heath bar. It's a very classy candy man There's a crown in the oh Yeah SKOR Gentlemen's cave I would I still don't have the confidence to buy that They're good Wow, are you peeing in the shower? Yeah, okay? I actually don't even know how people could not, how do you not pee in the shower? To fight that urge gas to be crazy. Just to fight that urge gas to be crazy.
Starting point is 00:46:48 Yeah, to be crazy. Imagine getting out of the shower to pee. Well, you brush your teeth in there. No. What's your bathroom looking like now? And who's cleaning the apartment? Me. You do.
Starting point is 00:46:58 Yeah, but you have a vacuum and all that stuff? No, no, no, no, none of that. I meant, like, picking up trash. You don't have a vacuum cleaner. I cleaned my bathroom a minimally last night. I just wet a paper towel and rinsed everything on. Do you have any type of cleaning products? A little 409 or?
Starting point is 00:47:14 Fabulous. No, I got dials. I told you about the paper towel and the water. Yeah. What kind of body wash bar? I got a bar and I got body wash and I got you doing? Body wash, bar? I got a bar, and I got body wash, and I got shampoo. Are you going straight bar to skin? Or do you have a luffer to do like that? Bar to skin. Bar to skin? Yeah, I'm a little bit by myself, I don't need it.
Starting point is 00:47:33 Sure. I don't need the luffer. Jail house, really. What kind of shampoo you're banging with? Anything. And how often do you wash in your hair? Every day. You wash it every day. Yeah, I'd recommend not doing that. Yeah, I've heard. Yeah, what do you like a big? Because I know like if you break through like the 30-day something it starts cleaning itself or some shit I may I maybe once a month maybe cuz I like a Rogan thing. That's like a Roganism
Starting point is 00:47:56 Do I know that by your Nicole point? I love that. Oh, shout out to it. Um, okay All right, how do you feel about Coastlaw, Sass? Hate it. Really? Hate Coastlaw. What was your mayonnaise growing up in your parents' house? Was it Helmins?
Starting point is 00:48:11 Was it Miracle Whip? Helmins. Did you fuck with it? Love mayonnaise. You like mayonnaise? Yeah, I love mayonnaise. You don't like Coastlaw. Now hate Coastlaw.
Starting point is 00:48:19 Interesting. You got hot sauce at the house? Oh yeah. What are we talking? Everything. Really? Love hot sauce. You go hot? Yeah. Really? I like to think I do, but then sometimes I get tested and I'm like, oh, maybe I'm not as much
Starting point is 00:48:29 of a hot sauce guy that I thought I was. What's the hottest, what's it called? The scoval? Yeah, I've had, I just, so I went to Iceland recently. And I just, that's pretty cool. Yeah, and I got all these, those are like a bakery and they had a, like a four pack of these like hot sauces
Starting point is 00:48:43 that they made in there. They're like, they're made with geothermal heat, something weird like that. Okay. And I just tried them out the other day. It's pretty good. But that's like a jalapeno, habanero, then just like regularly. Yeah. What were you doing in Iceland?
Starting point is 00:48:59 I went with two of my buddies. Just for vacation. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So you're doing that kind of stuff now. You're getting out of going around. That was the first time we've ever really done that,
Starting point is 00:49:08 like gone somewhere altogether. And how long ago was this? This was like a month, two months ago. What's the attraction of Iceland in April? None. It was a big mistake. We really? Really?
Starting point is 00:49:20 Start out all day. Yeah. Yeah. It was, I all day. Yeah. Yeah. It was, I wanted to go to Switzerland. Sick. Really bad. I've done it. You did.
Starting point is 00:49:31 I've always wanted to go. I was scrolling Instagram and I saw a Switzerland thing and I was like, dude, I might go on a vacation. I was like, I've never really gone on a vacation. Like, set up my own plans to go on a vacation. So I was like, I'm going to go to Switzerland. One of my buddies, his mom's a flight attendant, so he flies for free. Okay. Just like, let's go to Switzerland. One of my buddies his mom's a flight attendant so he flies for free. Okay.
Starting point is 00:49:45 There's like let's go to Switzerland. You really won't be that expensive. Like you just have to pay for like food and shit. And, You to fly for free too? No him, but I was like, he could just get you. You get afford to ticket your body can just get a ticket. It's also, it's cheap as fuck to fly to Switzerland.
Starting point is 00:49:59 Okay. But not Switzerland. Iceland it's like 300 bucks. Because it's the closest. Yeah. And, And then he's called me. And then yeah, yeah. And everybody wants a good of Switzerland. Yeah, and then he called me.
Starting point is 00:50:07 Switzerland's crazy expensive. Yeah, yeah. So is Iceland. Is it? I think it's actually the most expensive country in Europe. Really? Yeah. Iceland is in Europe?
Starting point is 00:50:15 So, had you land on Iceland? Yeah, isn't it? I don't know. I never thought of that. I think it's the same. I don't know. I think it's the same. I think it's the same.
Starting point is 00:50:23 No, no, that's me. I never put together what continent would be included on. Yeah, I think theoretically it would be in Europe. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Yeah. And he called me and he was like, what about, what if we go to Iceland instead? He's like, it's gonna be way cheaper, it's really cool.
Starting point is 00:50:34 And I was like, yeah, I'll go to Iceland. And then we were supposed to go fishing. The whole plan was to go fishing. Okay. Bought a fly fishing rod and everything. Okay, every fly fish before? I have, like once or twice. And the Freemus told me like that. Yeah. No, actually my buddy taught me.
Starting point is 00:50:49 But yeah, I I kind of it's pretty. It's not that hard. I got you. And we did not catch a single fish. Nor did we even see a fish the entire time. It was way too early in the season. Do we were like waiting like we had like the whole like the jumpsuits on and stuff and we were in the water and Yeah, two hours in we like it's bought like Permits to go to this private 22 year old kid goes the Iceland in April to go fly it was Was it something you do when you retire? It was like the first week of May and Dude, you're just staring in the water. I'm like, I'm not only are there no fish in here I don't think anything is even alive in this water.
Starting point is 00:51:27 And there's no chicks. What's the deal? Dude, it was devastating. Devastating. But it was still fun as fuck. I mean, we just got hammered the whole time. Did you eat anything crazy, like whale blubber or anything like that? Oh, no, we had some good fish.
Starting point is 00:51:39 No, I didn't have anything. I had like some good, like, just regular fish. You're a seafood guy? Yeah, I like seafood. Shrimp cocktail. Oh, love shrimp cocktail fish. You're a seafood guy? Yeah, I like seafood. Shrimp cocktail? Oh, love shrimp cocktail. Oysters on a half shell? Yeah, I didn't like oysters until recently, actually.
Starting point is 00:51:50 I have to understand a little more. Yeah, okay. But shrimp, I love shrimp. All right. How are you getting your steak cooked? Uh, medium rare. Gentlemen? Yeah, not bad.
Starting point is 00:52:01 You know how to use chopsticks? No, like I could, I could figure out a way to use them, but not by the bow to use them now. Okay. Any colon, use it any colon. No, never. What's the odor in situation? Old spice.
Starting point is 00:52:13 Okay. Do you have a couple of different ones or just one? Just one, just one. Fiji. Fiji, yeah. Classy. Tropical. Tropical.
Starting point is 00:52:22 But when was the last time you went clothes shopping? And where was it? Oh, man I feel like you buy a lot of your clothes off Amazon. I feel now All my pants are old Navy everything is old Navy. I actually really have to go clothes shopping and get shirts for the summer Okay, I just threw out a shit ton of stuff and When I moved, because I just get a bunch of shit from bar stool and like I'm never gonna wear this
Starting point is 00:52:48 and I have like a mountains of it. I just threw it all away. But yeah, a uniclo? Uniclo is good. Sure, yeah, I know you know. Old Navy. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:00 All right, all right. Fly fishing. Yeah, that's why that's the first time I've heard that one. What are you normally for breakfast? A protein bar and a red bull. Every single day. Gotta start the engine somewhere. What's your protein bar of choice?
Starting point is 00:53:17 Quest. Okay. You like a quest bar? New guy Luke likes the quest bars. Yeah, quest bars are good. You ever had a quail egg? No. Okay. Will you stack a quail egg? No. Okay.
Starting point is 00:53:27 Will you stack plates at a restaurant? Like when you're done eating, will you stack them up for the server? No. No. Like if everyone else is doing it, then yeah, but it's never, I've never had the thought to do that.
Starting point is 00:53:37 I honestly don't think it helps them that much. Okay. Yeah, I mean, I think it's not the right thing to do, but that's just me. Will you sleep with your socks on? No, no. What are you sleeping in? Just your undies?
Starting point is 00:53:50 Underwear in shirt. Okay. Underwear in a tee? Not bad. You flossin' every day? No. Go to the dentist regularly? No.
Starting point is 00:53:59 Haven't been since high school. Really need to. No flossin'. Ah, occasionally. I gotta get better at all that I did. What's the toothpaste situation? What are you using crest crest? Yeah Electric toothbrush or regular regular okay, we're you ever really into Harry Potter? No, I like the movies Okay movies were good Cuz you see you're ready you should yeah, I wouldn't make fun of them
Starting point is 00:54:26 because I'm like that's, you were fucking not. Yeah, you should have crushed through all those books. Yeah, I was never a big reader growing up. Sorry. Any baking soda in your refrigerator? No. There's no room for it. Sure.
Starting point is 00:54:38 Yours are George Foreman, Grille? Have I used one before? Yeah. Yeah, probably. Okay. Have you ever watched your shoes in the washing machine? No. Dish washer?
Starting point is 00:54:48 No. Okay. Do you keep the box of things? Like, if you get a new pair of sneakers, will you keep the box for a little while? Um, I probably have done that. Do you sell the box to your PlayStation? No, no.
Starting point is 00:54:59 TV? No, I just threw that out. And what PlayStation is it? What version? Four. Four. Yeah. Do you want to get a five? Yeah, when it comes time to get one, right now there's not enough, like,
Starting point is 00:55:10 it's not necessary yet. Okay. I can still play all the games. You stay pretty current and all that stuff. I mean, I had a PlayStation four for fucking ever. I think I got that one I was in ninth grade, like right when it came out. Really? Yeah, it's been around for a while. And you get the best games and stuff on there? Yeah, still can play everything. grade like right when it came out really yeah it's been around for a while and you're still you
Starting point is 00:55:25 get the best games and stuff on there still can play everything it's starting it the fans been working over time recently so I think it's like the games are too big for the for the console now you've vaping the apartment I assume yeah I'm gonna I gotta quit it smoke weed in there no I don't smoke weed you don't smoke weed now I went through like a weed phase, but I never, that's it, never caught on. Edibles? Now I took Edibles once and I, I was by myself in my apartment in Hell's Kitchen
Starting point is 00:55:51 and I used to live in Hell's Kitchen. And I took like one gummy and I forgot I took it and then I rolled over to go to bed and the whole room moved in slow motion. And then I was like, holy fuck. I'm so high. And I had to, it was a battle, just a battle the whole night. Gotcha.
Starting point is 00:56:09 And when you booze, what do you have? And I think you're drinking Bud's the other night. Yeah, any light beer. Okay. Or heavy. I like Guinness. Guinness is good. Okay.
Starting point is 00:56:20 All right. Do you have a working printer at the house? No, no. You own binoculars. No Coming up, were you ever subscribed to Jake Paul's YouTube channel? No, that that's so much younger than me That's that's years like that's like kids are like 12 now. Yeah, yeah except is Jake Paul I think people hate Jake Paul now are still right? I think Logan Paul kind of recovered after the whole I think they're both doing very well. Yeah, they're both very very big. Yeah, I don't know
Starting point is 00:56:48 I'll say tune you up. Give you the two piece. Yeah. Yeah, huh. I've ever want to kiss me on my wrist t-shirt. No, no, okay Can you play any instruments? Oh? Yeah, I could play the piano and play the clarinet. Okay. Yeah, today you can play the clarinet I could play like a scale. I don't know if I can read music that well on the clarinet. Okay. Yeah. Today you can play the clarinet. I could play like a scale. I don't know if I can read music that well on the clarinet anymore. You can actually read music though? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:12 I can read like a scale and then I would probably have to like count it out and I could read pretty well on the piano. That's pretty impressive. If I, but it would take me like a minute to figure shit out. Have you ever seen Star Wars? Yeah. on the piano. That's pretty impressive. If I, but it would take me like a minute to figure shit out. Have you ever seen Star Wars? Yeah. Seen that return to the Jedi impression
Starting point is 00:57:29 that you've seen all the old school. Yeah. Okay. You have name brand luggage? No. Oh, I have a Nike Duffle bag. What's she talking about? Yeah, it damn, okay.
Starting point is 00:57:45 Hey, but he's 20, see you can't buy. I know, I know, I know. Do you want a hair dryer? No. Hmm. Huh. Will you eat in the car? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:57 We eat in the back of an Uber. No. Hmm. Depends on how long the Uber is. Read. I'd have you drunk, I assume. If I'm drunk, I'm drunk. If I'm drunk, 100%. Yeah. how long the Uber is. Read the drone guy, so if I'm drone. If I'm drone, 100%.
Starting point is 00:58:06 Yeah, okay. You have a slice of pizza? Oh, yeah, 100%. Okay. Sometimes, like, all the way to the airport, I'll have an exam, which I'm sorry. Oh, that's a good one. You're a genius.
Starting point is 00:58:14 Um, hmm. What was the last time you slept in your jeans? Oh, recently. I assumed. Fuck. I got hammered recently, and I asleep like on the couch with all my clothes on I woke up with my shoes on That ain't good. I don't honestly might have been the last time I hung out with you guys Any color contacts in your past?
Starting point is 00:58:47 No, no. Ever gone ghost hunting? No. Ever been bitten by a dog? Whoof. No, not like aggressively now. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:59 Has anybody, you or anybody in your family ever cleaned those scene of UFO? Oh, I bet my grandma has. Okay. Passed to her. She loves all that shit. Okay. She's like stores like pills in case of the apocalypse.
Starting point is 00:59:13 She stores pills. She's got like a bunker. Okay. I don't know what she still does, so they moved to like an old people home. But she had, she was like, she had like a bottle of oxy cotton and was like, I'm not taking,
Starting point is 00:59:24 I'm saving it for the apocalypse. Geez. Go out with a bang. I don't really know what the thought process was. I guess she was like, if I get hurt. I can get cold with pills. That's what I'm gonna say. Hey, it's getting ready.
Starting point is 00:59:36 My grandpa used to smoke and he would keep a lighter and a cigarette in a cigarette box in his glove compartment after he quit in case the end of the world happened so we could smoke one more cigarette. That would probably that probably made it easy for him to quit of like I have one right there in case that's the one I'm going to have. They sound like real relaxed people. I'll say that.
Starting point is 00:59:55 Try a couple decapably. Have you ever tried to start the wave at a sporting event? No. No, that's not me. Crash a golf cart? Yeah, big time. You have. Yeah, spun out and everything.
Starting point is 01:00:10 Get in trouble for it. No, dipped. No, it was like we were going down a hill and it just started like out of nowhere just uncontrollably spinning down a steep hill and tipped. Okay, yeah. You get in trouble for it. Now there's another way we could really do about it.
Starting point is 01:00:26 Sure. Now I think anyone even saw. What was your first concert? I haven't been to a lot of concerts. I went to a lot of, there was this festival in Marshfield, the town next to mine. And it was called Levitate Music Festival and it started out pretty small It's like a very like like Indy Rock Ray Gay music and
Starting point is 01:00:54 So I've seen all like the like Ziggy Marley and all those guys about like I don't know if you guys know stick figure. Yeah, probably not To dashy trucks. You can stop there. I do not see a slightly stupid bond. I have heard of this. Just go back to dinner. Say you and your boys do go out to eat.
Starting point is 01:01:18 Will you guys get a couple appetizers and share it or is everything compartmentalized per person? You compartment, compartment, yeah. We don't really share much. Really? Yeah, kind of just get what you want. Huh. Okay.
Starting point is 01:01:30 Um. Apatizer's honestly a new thing to me. I was never a big appetizer's guy. You just go right to the meal. I like bread. Okay. Bread and oil. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:39 I'm right there with you guys. Yeah. He preached into the choir. Uh huh. I only, I get, I mean, talk about you guy preach to the choir I Talk about not being able to get a read eyes a young guy he's doing well Doesn't own a vacuum cleaner though I See I want to have one at 22
Starting point is 01:01:58 Oh, they also didn't have my own apartment at 22 when you get your mattress off the floor I mean when I moved to New York I was on the floor that i didn't even have a mattress yeah i slept on air mattress on the kitchen floor at some of these apartments so then like i got he's killing us i would not say that i mean i'm not throwing jaded i'm trying to understand by and sell us now what are you talking about i think
Starting point is 01:02:24 about but when i'm we were in that house on Titan Street in South Philly, that I had a futon, but I was in front of the laundry. You were in a futon in the basement, and I had a box spring, like, you know, right, that's what they're called, like the wooden frame. That was on the ground that I had a mattress on that.
Starting point is 01:02:41 So I was a little elevated. It wasn't just mattress. That was probably... What is it though? So I, it's not like I've never had a mattress, a bed frame. Of course. I had one in my old apartment. I just didn't feel like moving it.
Starting point is 01:02:54 Sure. So I just left it there. So it's just a mattress. It's just a mattress. And you have a down-computer, I assume. Yeah. How many pillows? Two.
Starting point is 01:03:02 Two pillows. Yeah. You sleep with the both under your head or you're hugging one. Uh, dude, actually I, sometimes I don't even use the pillows. Two pillows. Yeah, you sleep with the both under your head or you're hugging one. Dude, I actually I Sometimes I don't even use the pillows. I don't hate just head on the mattress No, I'll pull you might be you might live in rikers. You're all work release dude. You go back to a jail cell I like to put my arm here and rest my head on my arm. I don't like a hobo. Yeah, it's But it's possible and then I'll wake up and I'll head on my arm. I don't think. Like a hobo. Yeah, it's comfortable. And then I'll wake up and I'll put the pillow.
Starting point is 01:03:27 I'll use the pillow. You ever break anything as a kid? You break your arms or... Broke my arm. Truth grade. Fifth grade. Yeah, bad. How'd you do it?
Starting point is 01:03:37 I tripped over a lunch box. I had a lunch box called... I did just hear a tightrope. A long strap. And I was running to my next class and I tripped. Wait, you had a lunch box with the long strap? Yeah. Oh, wait, what?
Starting point is 01:03:50 That's a purse. Yeah, I'm gonna buy it. But it was a lunch box. It was like a cooler lunch box, that's right. Sure. And I took a dive. You freak out. Rolled around squirming and pain.
Starting point is 01:04:01 And then the nurse came and brought me. But I never cried. Okay. Yeah. It was more just like. It's like it's like Dickie Ward. I never got me down. I was honestly kind of pumped to have a cast. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:17 Yeah. I was like, this is not your cast. Oh, yeah. Were you a popular kid in high school? No. No. I wouldn't say so. I was very, very quiet. Girlfriend in high school? Uh, no.
Starting point is 01:04:26 Have you had a serious girlfriend thus far? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Did you go to prom? Yeah. With a girlfriend? With like friends.
Starting point is 01:04:35 A group, yeah. How'd you get to that prom? Did you take a limo? Did you drive? Drove. You drove. We would drive to school and I would just drive in a normal car and then-
Starting point is 01:04:44 You drove the Arcadia. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, actually I think I did. I think I drove me in like 10 people because it seats eight people. It's a big car. It's a big ride. Yeah. And did you soap the windows like prom?
Starting point is 01:04:56 No, no, not that. What year did you go, you see the prom in what? 2017? 2017. What year did you graduate high school? 2019? Oh, it's great. Yeah, it is, it is weird. I think 2019.
Starting point is 01:05:11 When you look at it like that, I mean, you're fucking killing it. Yeah, of course. You're getting a place in the West Village. Yeah, I'm torturing. At 42, he was living under our buddy's kitchen table. With a trash bag full of belonging. he was living under our buddy's kitchen table with a trash bag full of belonging. And I didn't have no PlayStation 4 off the bat.
Starting point is 01:05:32 You guys are fucking killing it. This place is fucking insane. I went to a column's one and I was like, this is nuts. I mean, barstools got to take a fucking look at this place. It was wild. Yeah, we took all the money we've ever made and put it in here. You guys rent out those other ones? No, that's other studios and offices.
Starting point is 01:05:56 Oh, really? Do you like the smell of asphalt, gasoline, horses, or magic marker? Asphalt and gasoline, yeah. Okay. The other ones I've never really picked up on. Okay. Have you ever ridden a horse?
Starting point is 01:06:11 Yeah. For, I went to get to school. Yeah. There Katie was brisk. I was visiting one of my buddies who worked on a ranch in Wyoming and he was a cook there. And how long does this? This was... It makes it seem like he's a ranch in Wyoming. And he was a cook there. And how long does this? This was...
Starting point is 01:06:27 It makes it seem like he's a hundred years old. Oh, I know, it's not like a ranch in Wyoming. It was like two years ago. I'm pretty used to cooking stew. You said you're one buddy was like a chef, a 22 year old chef? Yeah, dude, everyone's shick at like thrown off because we all got sent home from college.
Starting point is 01:06:42 And everyone was like, I don't want to do online classes and live at home for the next year. So like he went to Denver and got a job out there and lived on fucking unemployment for a year. And then he went to this ranch in the summer and got a job there. And it was pretty cool. I went out and it's like a ranch for rich people.
Starting point is 01:07:02 Like he worked there. It was like a touristy ranch, but I got to go and just live in his room. And they had like a horse riding fucking thing and I went on it, little tour. Do you think if the pandemic never happens, you stay in school and... Yeah, definitely.
Starting point is 01:07:18 And did you apply to barstool? No, they reached out to me. What were you doing in school that got their attention? I was like, I was on Twitter. You were a threat guy school that got their attention? I was like, I was on Twitter. You were a threat, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, and I was like, good on it.
Starting point is 01:07:29 Yeah, I was making videos and stuff. Okay. Dumb little sketches. Man. Yeah. Interesting guy. Very. 22.
Starting point is 01:07:38 Yeah. I live in a life, he's been to Iceland and a ranch in Wyoming. Yeah. I got, I mean, I, you know. Is he trash? No, I mean, I think he would, Toby, what Toby's eyes are popping out of his head. Yeah, man. Why? Why?
Starting point is 01:07:53 Sleeps on the floor, bad meat in the minifor is. 22. We got a place in the worst village we talking about. That's a better neighborhood than all of us. We've never graded on an age curve before. Well, we've never had someone this young. It's true, we can't rent a car. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:06 I can, that's actually a big issue. It is. Me and Francis just did a... Gotta take your mom on the road with you. That's, it's actually a massive problem. Francis is bitching about the sandwiches. Dude, it's a huge issue. I had to pick Francis up at a,
Starting point is 01:08:24 what is there, portandisee dolez? Dolez? I don't know. Dolez, issue. I had to pick Francis up at an air, what is there, important DC, Dola's, Dulas. Dulas. Dulas. Dulas. Yeah, I had to pick him up there and I was supposed to drive down and pick him up because we had to show West Virginia. And he doesn't want to hear the answers like that. Oh, no, yeah. I can't get the car.
Starting point is 01:08:37 That's a slap in the head. That's a yeah. That's a get your assistant. Get your car. And I, assistant to get you a car. And I do the hurts swear so they rent cars people that are under 25. They're like one of their whole slogans is like, oh, under 25, we got you covered.
Starting point is 01:08:56 And then I went and they were like shocked when I had them the ID. They were like, we don't have any of the cars that we can give you. We can put you on a wait list. I got a Toyota with training wheels. I'm like, we don't have any of the cars that we can give you. They're like, we can put you on a wait list. I got a Toyota with training wheels. Yeah, I'm like, who's renting a car that's able to be put on a wait list?
Starting point is 01:09:11 Yeah, usually it's like, I gotta go right now. I'm not just going for a cruise dude. I can't wait till tomorrow for the fucking Toyota. So you're supposed to drive down the DC and pick him up. Yeah. And take him where? We were supposed to go to West Virginia. Okay.
Starting point is 01:09:26 So how did you work that out? I got a zip car and then I got banned from zip car. Because you are in 25. No, so zip car, you can rent under 25, but they're going out of business. So if you do like one thing wrong, they'll shut you down. They're looking for reasons to ban people. What did you do wrong?
Starting point is 01:09:42 I was late returning the car by like three hours and they were like calling me and shit and then the count They're like your accounts not registered anymore Huh You saved the heat from Francis. I did. Francis fucked me on that by the way. Why the fuck am I driving to wall? I could have just taken a train. We could have Ubered to the place that we were going.
Starting point is 01:10:01 And then the whole thing was like, oh, it'll be easier. He's trying to learn you. It's just school you. It was the whole thing was like, we could, well, we could, it'll be easier. He's trying to learn you, it's just going to. It was the whole thing was like, we could, well, we could, it'll be easier, we can just drive, we don't have to get in, because we're doing in the middle of nowhere, we're doing casino,
Starting point is 01:10:12 literally the middle of nowhere in West Virginia. It would have taken us, I would be surprised if we could even have gotten a newbie. And we're going home and he's like, by the way, I'm not actually going back to New York. He's like, I'm going to my sister's house in Maryland. So he's like, you can just drop me off like 10 minutes into the drive.
Starting point is 01:10:27 So then I just had to drive eight hours back by myself. Oh, fuck that. Yeah, you should have been on a train. Yeah. Yeah. Huh. I, he's got a fresh bottle of rosé. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:37 He's got a bathing suit on. That's a real funny dynamic, man. You too. Yeah. You stick with him. He's a classy guy. Yeah, he's a You stick with him, he's a classy guy. Yeah, he's a trance is a good guy. Yeah, I honestly, I don't, I can't call him tr-
Starting point is 01:10:52 I can't call him trice. He's a young boy, you know what I mean? I think you're fucking killing it. I think, I mean, are you starting to- You can get a vacuum. Get a broom. Start with that. Yeah, for the apartment.
Starting point is 01:11:03 You can tighten it up. Yeah. Do you have interest in those kind of things? A vacuum in a broom, start with that for the apartment. You can tighten it up. Yeah. Do you have interest in those kind of things? A vacuum in a broom? Does anyone have interest in those? What are your thoughts on the room? Yeah. I bring it a floor model.
Starting point is 01:11:15 Yeah. I'm trying to sell you an electric luxe. No, but like, do you, are you at the age now where you want to like start being more grown up in those things are you not really thinking about it don't give a shit. What are you fucking, dude? Dude, I was a fucking mess. You were a mess a couple of months ago.
Starting point is 01:11:34 The problem is I don't have, no, I don't have any, like, I think I could live how I live forever. That's the young kid thing, of course. I'm the same way, but it's also you have to look at like his influences are other 22 yearyear-old kids and door stand-up comics who are us. So it's like, it's not like he has a group of friends who is like, you know, stockbrokers and shit. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:53 Who's your favorite singer? Oh, Bob Dylan. Really? Yeah. Okay, that's pretty good. Then a Bob Dylan fan for a while. Huh, love. Who you listening to, who do you like that's cool now?
Starting point is 01:12:07 I just wanna know in case anybody asks me. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It's a tough one right now. Who do you like? I go through big phases right now. I'm going on a big Jason Bateman phase Kids all right, man. Bateman Bateman's not bad. Bateman fucking rules. What are you talking about Leo? I mean obviously Leo's everything of course I don't I I I I yeah, I don't know I mean Interesting interesting. Yeah, you gotta get 22 kids classy man That I'm not saying it's awesome. No, what's that? Definitely awesome. Yeah, his squad sounds awesome. He's got his buddy out in a ranch, but he is a dirt bag 22 years old I know
Starting point is 01:13:04 a ranch, but he is a dirt bag. He's 22 years old. I know. We'll have to revisit in a couple of years. Are you reading anything? Do you read? No, I try to. Okay, what are you trying to read? Uh, I read Sam Talents book. I was really good. Okay. I read a shout out to Sammy T. I read all Charles Bukowski's books. Okay. I read all of Jack Kerawax books. Okay. I mean, 22 year old reading this shit has his own apartment. Yeah, I think that's that's who those books are for. Yeah, but I bet you read for your little Las Vegas too.
Starting point is 01:13:37 Oh, yeah. But I would say that I didn't read those though. I would say there's a guy either. He's not a drug guy either. No, but if you're in the lowving and Las Vegas, it's phenomenal. Of course, and I would say kids your age now, they're not that connected to those things. Those things. Yes.
Starting point is 01:13:55 Those were, I mean, most 22 year old kids aren't saying their favorite singers Bob Dylan. Yeah. I would say that no one under the age of 30 can talk shit to you. No, I can't talk shit to them. People can't end you. I gotta show this to everyone from high school. They said no one can talk shit to me. You see these two fat bull losers?
Starting point is 01:14:21 They said he can't be mean to me. What can I do to these? Do you have a watch? Too fat-fold losers. They said he don't be mean to me. Welcome up here, Tudy. Yeah. Do you have a watch? I got to fit, bit. Okay. Even that's responsible. But I haven't worn it in a fucking year.
Starting point is 01:14:35 Ah, bad. I listen. Yeah. I say you're classy. I say you're doing all right. He's doing all right. I'll give him that. That'll be my call.
Starting point is 01:14:44 He's doing all right. He's doing all right. I'll give him that. That'll be my call, he's doing all right. He's doing all right. I don't wanna go for anything. You know what I mean? I don't wanna steer you guys. No, I'm trying just genuinely, but I think if you saw how I lived, you would not say I'm fine.
Starting point is 01:14:55 It's not a brand-of-line shot. That's what I'm saying, you're classy. Yeah, you're not, he's not classy. Where you getting your toilet paper and how many rolls of toilet paper in the house? I ordered a bunch on Amazon, fucking when I moved in, I still have a bunch. And where's that sit, is it in a closet?
Starting point is 01:15:08 No, it's in a box in the living room. I don't see. Okay. Alright. You got paper towels in the house? I do. How many bath towels do you own? One.
Starting point is 01:15:18 Just 22? 22 though. I have two and I'm 40. I'm like, I only have two because I'm married. Where you put in. I don't really have two because I'm married. Where you put in the bath towel when you're dumb with it, is it hanging over the door and your bedroom or is it behind? It's got, I just found out recently there's a hook on the door. So I put it up on that.
Starting point is 01:15:35 Just found out recently. I didn't know. I was scooping around that. Yeah. I should call the guy who lived in the room. Do you ever rug in the living room? A carpet or anything? No, no rugs.
Starting point is 01:15:44 I got to get all this shit. I was just, no rugs. I gotta get all this shit. I was just thinking about this the other day. I gotta get all this shit. You just moved in. Yeah, but the thing is, the only reason I would get any of this stuff is because it's like what people suggest that you do. Like, so if people come over. You don't want it, you're not like, oh my god,
Starting point is 01:15:56 I need to get a car. I'm not like, I don't feel comfortable in my house for the rugs. Let me ask you this, when your friends come over to your house, what do they say? This place is great, or they're like, what the fuck do you do it? No one's really been there. My buddy came over, we were actually recently,
Starting point is 01:16:11 but he came over for like an hour, we were hammered, and we fell asleep, and then he woke up at like 6 a.m. because he had to get on a train. He was probably pumped that he had a couch. There's a couch to sleep on. Brand new couch, where did you get the couch from? Amazon. It's a good couch. There's a couch to sleep on. Brand new couch, where'd you get the couch from? Amazon. It's a good couch.
Starting point is 01:16:27 It's a good comfortable couch. You'd think twice about making that noise if you can't stand on that couch. He's using a piece of toilet paper and a pillow. It's gonna be day on that kind of shit if you're a black couch drunk in my apartment. It's a hell of a couch. I've actually stepped on the couch by choice multiple times.
Starting point is 01:16:43 Sure. It's right by the TV. I did it last night. couch by choice multiple times. Sure. Right by the TV. I did it last night. I did it last night. Dude, it's good. Will you fall asleep watching TV? I can, but also part of me, I can't, like I get to, like I, you ever throw in a podcast when you're going to bed?
Starting point is 01:16:56 Yeah. But I, then I end up, I'm like, dude, I've been listening to this podcast for two hours with my eyes closed. Like I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll only do what I'm drunk. I have to be like really fucked up. Yeah. If I'm fucked up, I can put on anything in fall asleep.
Starting point is 01:17:07 Sure. So when you go to bed at night usually, you're turning everything off. All the lights off in your room. All the lights are off. I tried. I always am like, I want to listen to a podcast, I'll throw a podcast on and then an hour in. I'm like, I'm not going to fall asleep with this day's on. So you go to bed with complete darkness That's pretty hanging from his ankles That's fucking weird dude. Yeah Yeah, haxy driver. I don't know he's a weird. I'm not saying he's not weird. He's well. He's a weird kid He's the enigma, dude. Yeah, he's a weird Trashy successful
Starting point is 01:17:41 Strange dreams old 70 two-year-old successful strange dreams old 72 year old I guess I know what to the fuck no that's is my pop up No, when I will say when we were on that vacation we're like dude next time let's just go somewhere nice Yeah, and just sit on a fucking chair
Starting point is 01:17:58 Yeah, yeah You're a moose hunting and fucking high stuff Yeah, there was scre-, we would just drive all day, because you got to drive everywhere, and then we would just get, and we would go to like, we'd find the one bar in Iceland, and we would, you guys ever have gals? No.
Starting point is 01:18:13 It's like a light beer out there. They're damn good. Yeah. Good beer. Couple of gals. Couple of gals. If I was in a gals lock. If I was in Iceland, the state trooper,
Starting point is 01:18:20 and I pulled you two over. I'd have a lot of questions. Yeah, dude, there's none. There is no laws out there. I like State Trooper and I pulled you two over. I'd have a lot of questions. Yeah, dude, there's none. There is no laws out there. Yeah, it's pretty wide open, I think. I looked up, there's like 700 police officers in the entire country.
Starting point is 01:18:34 Oh, jeez. We saw one police officer the whole time. No trouble, though. Everyone kind of governs themselves. Yeah, I mean, everyone's so spread out. I'm sure like, we didn't go to Reykjavik for that long, which is like the major city, but I mean, everyone's so spread out. I'm sure like, we didn't go to Reykjavik for that long, which is like the major city, but I'm sure they're,
Starting point is 01:18:48 they probably have more police. Hmm. No. It is what I'm going to have to do. I mean, we should, this should be like... 100% how the show goes, we should check in with you every two years, coming and see where you're at. Take shows, pictures of your apartment.
Starting point is 01:19:01 It's probably going to get a lot worse. I lose the couch. Yeah, it was cool if I crashed here after we recorded. Yeah, I would like to see you a year from now. Yeah, one year from now. I'd love to. I bet he's real classy a year from now. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 01:19:19 That's my first day. That's my first day. I just don't think a year with Francis. Yeah, but dude Francis We just grew up so different like my dad's not classy my dad grew up in Long Island Okay comes from their bags. Yeah, it's in my mom. Yeah, my mom grew up in high anus in Cape Cod That's nice though, isn't it? Hi, Anus is not nice. Is it Cape Cod? I thought Cape Cod was there's obviously different parts of it
Starting point is 01:19:44 Hi, hi, Anus has a fucking heroin problem. Bad. Okay. But all of a mess. There's nothing wrong with that. Yeah. Now, all right. We got to wrap it up though. Little sass. Yeah, thanks for having me. Yeah. And of course, it's awesome. It's fantastic. It's such a fun format. Anything you want the folks out there to know, what are you got coming up? Let me just hop on to Little Sasquatch website and see what we got coming up. LittleSaskwatch.com is available, by the way. Yeah, I don't know what the hell we were thinking with that You gotta talk to your team talk to the other four guys I fucking I fucking wish this was coming out this week cuz
Starting point is 01:20:14 Could really use that bump on Ontario. I'm gonna be in I guess like I could definitely use it on this huntsavil Alabama Huntsville Alabama baby and up live. I'm gonna be there July 14th the 15th and then I want to say I'm gonna be in fucking Atlanta at some point in July to is keeping our The bunch of homes and bozos and Atlanta go check out sass hundred percent super funny fucking fan Pat and Philly and Philly Philly go cheat That's an honor really go see him. Yeah, go see him for sure buddy. We love you. We can't thank you. No, you can't be having me. What do you got for him? We're all over the road.
Starting point is 01:20:47 We're announcing the second leg of the tour for the fall. When I get a big drop coming soon. Get those tickets because a lot of those markets are going to sell out. So get them while they last. Thanks for the support we love you. We love you and we'll see you next week. Please.

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