Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Luis J. Gomez Answers Your Questions!
Episode Date: February 8, 2021Kippy and Foley are back with old pal Luis J. Gomez. The boys talk jumping off bridges, the Boy Scouts, and going skiing. Its a fun one! Bonus Episodes: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage​​ ... https://stereo.com/kevinryan​​ https://kushydreams.com Promo Code: GARBAGE T-Shirts: https://www.PodcastMerch.com​​ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/​​ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?
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Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find
out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash now
here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley hey hey hey everybody out there
and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast this is are you garbage
it's a show we sit down with your favorite comedians and fun if they grow
classy or if they're absolute trash I'm your host stage Foley coming at you on
a beautiful day down here in Antote's basement she's a she's doing okay nothing
to report today my co-host is coming at you from right next to me he is the CEO
of are you garbage he cooks the books keeps the feds off our back keeps the
snow off our heads give me a favor give me a nice big round of applause for
Kippy Kevin James Ryan hey gang thanks for tuning in as always please make sure
you rate review subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube and then
patreon.com slash are you garbage you get bonus content bonus episodes of AYG
episodes of hard feelings and every month we'll do a live stream with the top
tier members where we play AYG with you guys you ask us questions we ask you
questions the good fucking time get involved baby yes sir and having a nice
big shout out to our producer extraordinaire the pride of the Chicago
comedy scene our good pal we know him as T bone yeah but his mom named them what
Toby Cornelius McMuller what's up if my mom named me Cornelius I'd fucking
kill myself Toby McMuffin over there Toby McMuffin Toby McMuffins the T bone
McMuffin that's the new one right there that's it right there I had brass
knuckles out ready to fend the brand now I'm putting them away I'm on lose the
side gang we could not be more excited to have our incredibly incredibly
incredibly special guest back with us here today that's right gang we got a
little company it's a family episode and this guy is as thick as thieves as
it possibly can get if you haven't seen his episode please go back you're acting
like you fucked my sister laying it on thick just what he does I'm trying to
tiptoe into it a little bit I'll be seeing it Thanksgiving the name of this
one's Barry in the hatchet gang he is the co-host of Legion of Skanks he is the
host of real-ass podcast the co-host of believe you me all right he is the
co-founder of the gas digital network don't forget my fourth podcast yeah
Gomez talking talking science watches I felt there we go very good and of course
he is the founder of skankfest and skankfest south do us a favor give us a
nice big round of applause for the suburbanite Lewis J Gomez everybody
thank you thank you very happy to shake your rattles everybody at home it's
not a question if I'm garbage it's really just what level of garbage am I we
know yeah I think you were one of the you were one of the earlier episodes that
we did and I think you were like yeah I'm not garbage like there I think there
was part of you that was like I'm not going well it was I mean I think that
I've well it depends on are you currently garbage or or can you jump out of the
garbage class from garbage to being classy sure we yeah you you're on your
way you're on your way but you're you can only get so far there's only so much
money's gonna you've reached the height we're still gonna be the vengeance
that is really hold you back a little bit the stink off that's exactly you're
like James will do way better than you like James will be way classier
guaranteed because yeah he's growing up a little bit of came college nice job in
the suburbs which is pretty nice it's not a bad life we talked about that we
loved that your episode was really really endeared me to you and it was I
saw it as not a victim of circumstance but like when you told that race car
story maybe it made me so sad that like people were just shitty to you just for
the fact of it remember when you oh yeah I was like which race car story I have
no idea what either one of your dog when you drive a little stock cars where we
got blamed for stealing them yeah kind of because I have another I thought there
was another piece there was another piece of bluish agalmas trash history as
well which involved you remember in Boy Scouts you had to make the car we just
talked about these last episode derby cars or the yeah and it was just
essentially a hunk of wood derby or what I would derby it's a hunk of wood in the
Boy Scouts I was in the Boy Scouts my boys my boy scout leaders was two moms
was my mom who was a heroin addict and then dandority's mom who was like a
religious nut job somebody stole the badges and melted them down they didn't
like each other they like our Boy Scout leaders were two chicks they didn't like
each other with this little weird fucking it was like out of a movie it was
like all the kids in our Boy Scout trip were gummo every one of us we were just
fucking different shapes and all weird we've been directed by Harmony Corrine
dude yeah dude and fucking that's like a bad movie from the 90s yeah you know
that's like a religious zealot and a heroin addict get together to do the
Boy Scouts what the fuck but that's the kind of shit that endears me to you
it's like you would think that you were like this tough rough and tumble kid but
you did like that stuff you wanted that you're a sweetheart you wanted a normal
you like you're kind of a nerd well yeah a little bit of a what it is I always
appreciated being different so whatever it was that like the kids of my
neighborhood weren't doing or the kids in school weren't doing like I joined the
drama society in high school not because I like to sing and dance well you do
though it was but I do you flex it any time I learned that I did but when I made
the decision to do it it was just because it was weird for me to do it you
know so the pine the pinewood derby what you know you'd have to be
essentially carve this block of wood into a cool race car there was a
regulation size and the wheels you could use you know but you know dads were
helping these kids out make these pinewood derby cars so they were super
cool I'm gonna tell you I don't even how these dads did it I have no idea how
they did some of the things they did with these cars but my mind was fucking
blown get it one kid at an accurate and a hot meal it was crazy and mine we
didn't even we didn't even carve it down we just took the piece out of the she
was like paint a log it was a fucking block there was a hunk of wood we
threw the wheels on it I painted it it was a Lincoln log I would love to get a
fucking photo of what that car looked like I had it for years it was called
skull crusher because my mom's hit me in the head with it she just made a
shiv dude I painted it yellow and black and I painted a little skull on it I
painted a skull crusher on the side and this thing fucking sucked this was it
was so bad every kid had a cool fucking looking car and right here came my piece
of shit car and I remember they gave me a trophy it was so sad because even I'm
like and I remember bigger than I know I know because it was the most
imaginative trophy the poor bastard award the the imagine he had a father
trophy and I remember being like oh this is a fucking pity trophy wow all my
trophies that I've ever owned in my airman in my entire life have been
pity trophies but if you would if you would have applied yourself you could
have been an athlete right I feel like you're I mean you're athletic very
uncoordinated I thought athletic he's not athletic you're fighting what do you
mean don't say that I I I've sort of figured out how to like throw a punch
and not be punched sort of but not very well not compared to people that are
confident you want going into a fight so he learned that's what he learned in the
Boy Scouts well I just feel like people that really know how to fight it'd be
ridiculous for because I know people that really not sure of course so it would
be ridiculous for me to be like oh I'm good at that when I know exactly how bad
I am because I'm better than the average person if you haven't trained in
martial arts I could probably do pretty well against most people right but
anybody who's trained that's a little bit athletic I'm not very good man that
is a fucking story and a half yeah that's so funny you did all that stuff to
cut the Boy Scouts what else did you do that that we wouldn't know that people
wouldn't think you'd if you would I mean Boy Scouts drama nobody I would have
never first of all and you paint this picture of your mom that's pretty good
that she was a Boy Scout leader for a little while she was hanging she was
trying she was trying it's more than my family did she was well but she I mean
it was such a deficit my dad had been murdered a couple years before that it's
all rainbows and my mom was a heroin addict and like so she was like when
she tried she really tried yeah yeah she taught you how to tie an odd and
cook a spoon sell some thin mints he'll be alright that's the girl Scouts but
there was a few yeah there was a few years when my mom actually tried it's
not like she didn't she tried to do some of the good mom things she was still
extremely abusive and fucking crazy and violent you know threatening and all
that other stuff but how was she with the other kids in the Boy Scouts do you
remember she was the cooler mom because Dan Dordes mom was like a fat Christian
bitch so nobody dude you want to go to church you want to hang out a crack house
yeah easy choice any day of the week well I remember you know there was a
one thing where we had like put together like it could be whatever it was just
whatever it was a big project we all had to be involved with and like one troop
was putting together the biggest gingerbread house possible the next
troop was making like this wood log cabin fucking thing and this bitch she
I mean she had like fucking corn husk leaves that she was like laying over
sticks and we were making little miniature Indian huts and all we got to do
was take a little piece of glue and put it there and she was like all right
next move on and it was her project I remember just being like this fucking
sucks this fucking blow yeah everybody's got sweet ass shit around you
everyone's got cool shit going on we have this fucking Indian hut it's gonna
be featured at Bear Mountain your mom's project was safe cracking doing a
second floor job I need a wheel man my mom was teaching us how to pick pocket
people at the supermarket good stuff well buddy thank you for coming in and
sitting with us we wanted to have you back we like to have our have the guest
back little family episode have a little company as you folks know that when you
sign up for patreon you will get one of your questions asked on the air and we're
gonna do that absolutely right now yeah I don't know why I had weird words yeah
you're really going like morning news segment people think that's what we're
gonna get into right when we get back they think I know what I'm doing but it's
really very thin line you really blackout yeah and just I get lost in it
yeah I gotta I said incredibly short road yeah yeah like today with the
Antutti intro and totally she's doing all right well I thought I'd yeah less is
more all right um being you know obviously all you know a lot of people
know you just got a new car you just got your license and a new car yeah they
got an Audi yeah within a couple days of each other you bought the Audi you
didn't lease it right no I'm buying yeah you're buying yeah now what was the
situation over in the burp that's yeah did you have to shovel it out or is the
I tried to find somebody to do it for me like there's no there's no little kids
that go door-to-door like when I was a little kid I would hustle yeah did I
fucking went out there I'd knock on every door in the neighborhood I'd get my
crazy deal eight dollars your entire fucking right now let's go through the
grass to it's crazy but nothing I could do I called places all over Jersey to see
if there's only only do commercial song roll they talking about it but I was
crazy really you got like a landscaper we got a stuff like I have my mom's yeah
now I called my landscaper to see if he would do it he didn't get back to me
geez probably busy out plowing yeah all right well this is from Chris do you
brush the snow off the roof of your car do you just let it blow off as you drive
down the highway I brush it's not it's my new car new car yeah so you have
equipment to do that oh yeah I got a big long fucking brushing my jigger but I
deal with my hands at first I just wiped all that shit off with my hands and then
I shuffled it out and you did the driveway yourself oh I do the driveway
myself this is a tough I did not do I did not do a path from my house to my
driveway that's the trashy thing over the course the trashy thing of the two-day
period me and my son just kicked yeah the same footprint from the way out we
start to shuffle our way through so now there's like a path sort of but it's
snow will be there to like March yeah and the only problem with that is when
you when you when you make the the foot indentation if it freezes that night
then that's a fucking ankle snapper right well that's why you don't want to
just try to go through because it's too much too much what you got to do is the
first time you go or you go through the next time you step in between the other
two marks you're connecting them essentially you're connecting the dots
the third one you clean everything up and then you got a full path all takes
three trips you have a full path you and a family of four three trips
holy shit I mean that is true not doing the walk is trashy yeah I respect it I
mean you did it in your own way yeah and where do you it's where you throw in
the snow you put it right put it right on the street are you doing it on the
sides like you're supposed to like throwing it on the driveway by the way
how many cars you fit I got a two car garage you have a two car you park in
the garage no you made it a gym which is garbage I got a new out here and I'm
like looking at like every time it snows I'm like fuck yeah every time you've
done a home improvement to your house someone's tagged us in it and been like
is this garbage and the answer is like yeah every time it's got a trampoline in
the living room but the gym the gym is nice the gym inside is nice fantastic
the sauna is that up running yet it's not you haven't yeah okay you're not gonna
be able to do it all right well it's gonna just it's gonna cost me a few
thousand dollars to do it and it's just almost not worth it there's a sauna on
the corner like a big like European Polish fucking oh really you know
with steam so nice it's like 40 bucks every time you enter but I looked at
but the amount of it by the time I'm I paid the $2,000 is gonna cost me to make
my sauna working I could probably go to that place let's say I'm at a time yeah
without all the work when you say down the street walking is there anything
walking yeah there's walking distance places from your from your house yeah
huh I got a supermarket walking distance got a sandwich spot Italian sandwich
in Jersey the best the best sandwich spot I've ever had is called a family
affair that's so Guido it's a family affair they're fucking sandwiches jerk
off that's all it is do they name all of their sandwiches after like fucking
Italian movies Godfather guarantee it whenever the father no whatever the
fathered whenever the father dies and those kids will be all fighting over
the business all family nobody nobody else works there it's all family I kind
of like that the sister the one girl they don't let her touch the sandwiches
they put her on the register like sorry Colleen you're working the fucking
register you're not touching the meat these bras they don't know the sandwiches
it's the tiny brain there's a but they're great dude they close they close
whenever they like run out of their shit for the day they're not they don't fuck
around on Sundays like we got 300 rolls first 300 that's the way that pizza
in Coney Island doesn't he makes 100 pies today that's it no more and he
walks up fully buys all knows everyone's name like the first time I went
there I was like I'll let you name boom Lewis now every time I go in but I tell
you we're a cop every time I go in I tell him I'm a cop but it's the best and I
love it every time I have a gathering your friends over I just get those
sandwiches cut them in thirds I try this is how much I love them like I don't
want I said I trust you give me a variety really yeah man I love the fact
that you do that so I do you enjoy the fact when people come over that you're
flexing on check out do you tell them about how they close when they run out
of bread every day that's my go-to story with people that Bobby wait do you get
close right down the street right open 24-7 that dude Bobby loves it Bob Bobby
loves it but that place you know not to give him an advertisement on this
fucking podcast but they're in Jersey man go to fucking a family affair that's
gonna be your your Dom's Dom steak tips yeah like Bobby's hey gang just want to
quick reminder about the stereo app it's a good time me and the big man are on it
and we're taking your are you garbage questions oh oh we're having a good time
over there on the stereo app every Thursday night at 9 o'clock mean keep
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the best way for us to interact with you guys yeah right yeah get on there you
drop a message we're goofing around back and forth absolutely fun absolutely
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CBD with promo code garbage for 20% off today now back to the show yeah he's
always with the new whip are you smoking any yet no no you're not doing you're not
you're clean right I'm well you know what I shouldn't sound completely I'm not
drinking but I've been smoking at night lately you know let your hair down a
little yeah why were you why were you off everything just training cuz I can't
I mean I need to fucking clear my mind I need to not be walking around in a
haze all day okay so six months from now every cup holder is gonna be full of
blunt guts when I when I was smoking weed every day I was I never even
smoked weed in my new house okay yeah smoking weed in the smoking weed in
your gym that's classy nobody's fucking smoking weed in my goddamn brand new
car smoking James's bedroom before that happened leather leather interior I'm
sorry leather interior serious package oh oh yeah of course what about the easy
pass I still haven't got the easy pass because I haven't got my plates yet I
don't got my place it's a little piece of paper plate wait what you got the car
like over a month ago now a couple weeks ago probably I got the car on no it was
maybe the 11th of January of January yeah so yeah going on yeah that's fine
they got a mail at the plates it's a pandemic dude in Jersey they do it all
for you they register it right there I got the plates from the dealership okay
no easy pass though that sucks I didn't I mean I'm embarrassed to admit this but
all through the pandemic I didn't have easy pass and they were just there's a
melody right I know but they were mail it to my car's register to my mom's house so
they were mailing it there and then I just didn't pay I'm like oh it's 90 cents
I'll get around to it and I'll just pay all of them and I just didn't do it I owed
like and they just dude they would turn a fucking 90 cent toll into a hundred
dollar no 90 you don't pay it you don't pay it they hate with 35 and then two
months later it's a hundred dude I had to pay like 20 I haven't paid a single toll
yet get on it get on it I go I drive into New York City $16 dude that's what
the bridge dude the bridge will push it the bridge will end up costing you like
$125 blow them through the UPS guy cheese you feel I finally got I had to
clean it all up and then I got it yeah that's crazy I feel rich with it that's
how trashy I am I drive through I still feel like I'm getting away I throw the
change in anyway this is from Wei Zhang Jarrod I believe is history he is I
have you ever lit a sig in the parking lot of a gym because I have and that is a
garbage move yeah for sure you feel kind of rejuvenated when you walk out and
it's like finishing a meal you're like oh I need a Bernie you know what I mean
yeah I definitely have I would I've been in shape before and been smoking cigarettes
smoked a cigarette right before a jog before a run when I used to work at
equinox we would take cigarette breaks and smoke right in front of the equinox
really come on in I gave you a good deal holy have you ever been to a gym
I've seen the commercials on television Jim steaks all right this is from Katie
have you ever bridge hopped jumping off the bridges yeah into the into the water
I would take you as a guy that does that yeah yeah those are the challenge on a point
New York and the penny bridge and they always have shitting at the penny
bridge the story was that they had like they always have a myth to giant planks
of wood that were sharp you gotta not jump right there three feet area had to
otherwise you'll fucking have your bend your knees when you hit the water that
way your knees don't go through your asshole or whatever yeah every town had
that we had the trussell and then like for that was the bridge and then there
was like another level that people called like air and crazy or pussy whatever
and it was just like literally somebody broke their pelvis every year and they
had to get like drug out of the woods there's a place called the deep hole in
mom's house and it was just a giant I've been to that bar ice cold spring it was
like so cold on like a hot summer day it was fucking crazy but too cold like you
just like it was so like icy like upstate New York mountain water and it was
like just cliffs you could jump off and you could just see a giant boulder and
once I like if you hit that boulder you're fucking dead but you could jump
off from like one ledge which is pretty safe then the next one up it's pretty
fucking scary I'm afraid of heights and then it got crazy like kids were jumping
like the Puerto Rican kids would just fucking backflips like slow backflips
off where you're like what the fuck was that that's crazy the summer salt they
have nothing to live for okay I would go off the smallest one and me my friends
were there one day just jumping off the small one and then these fucking cute
chicks showed up these pretty cute chicks anytime chicks show up and there's like
young teenage dude that's how people get killed it gets very dangerous dude some
they're wearing like they're wearing jean shorts and a bikini top I'm fucking
diving in it's over that's exactly what it was it was some fucking chicks holding
your arms back like that face I recognize that we're pussies like I was
like our dude we have been we jump it up this little tiny short one the whole
time I was like let's just fucking go yeah let's leave first of all we're not
gonna get these hot chicks we're fucking dorks we're not getting them okay but
let's just go because we're gonna look like faggots and we're gonna derby
cars just jumping off the short one the whole time it's sad so let's leave so we
start to leave and then the girls these fucking pigs they were like you guys
aren't gonna jump off the high one they knew what they knew and then me I was
like we've been jumping off at the whole time
that's not even fun anymore why would I want to do that we're gonna go train
dodging actually we're gonna go rob a bank real quick so then they're like yeah
sure and I was like what I'll jump off but who cares I don't know I'll do it
right now I mean just such a crying on the walk up dork and the bakes an
injury ah dude I start climbing up the rocks and right before I get to the
jump off I lose my footing and I tumble down the mountain rocks I mean
just do you know what it feels like to just have your whole body and just a
bathing suit roll down rocks and I'm screaming and scratching it's holding
onto a tiny play like a cat trying to climb I tear my fingernails off my
fingers my fingernails are just bleeding I fall into the water the girls are
cackling cackling at me as I just float away down this little fucking weird
stream pussy has never been drier oh my god later no oh please so I'm gonna get
your number what's the deal I mean second base I just think about the story
that those girls have laughing on a podcast right now you remember that
fucking loser never that pudgy Puerto Rican do you remember how he almost died
screw the way he screamed I'll never forget the tone of the screen I think I
saw his tiny balls there was a swim trunk it was a goddamn nightmare that's
fucking man I never got that I was always petrified that stuff we used to go
to a quarry there was always a thing that the fear of the quarry the legend was
you would jump in and your legs will get stuck in the mud that was like that we
had a quarry as well it was like you jump in you'll go too far down your feet
that was always my fear in the bay at low tide that by your feet we
get stuck in the mud so I don't fuck with the back I'll go on the beach maybe a
little bit that's it I'm going the back but we used to we used to do it at this
place called Slatington and there was one same thing they were all these it was
actually looking back and it was beautiful it's crystal clear water because
they were digging and they hit an underground river and it was all slate
so it was all clean and it was awesome but there was like a 40 foot one no big
deal we'd all jump off that then there was like this 80 foot one and it had like
a thing that went out and man one of our buddies went off it and fucking it was
like a body hitting the fucking thing just smashed on its side eyeball fucking
popped out of his head I was I ball popped out of his head
ruptured his blood vessels in his eye whoa fucking can you pass out yeah passed out
fucking woke up and you're back there too there's nobody coming that I don't think
kids do that now I mean I told the story I think on here on my podcast about my
knee yeah it's skiing yeah no not skiing you were jumping off yeah it was your
podcast yeah yeah yeah yeah and I almost lost my leg from the knee down and we
were stuck in the woods like a mile back yeah and my leg was just hanging off of
my my knee was just hanging off from the it was only connected by the skin in the
back it looked like a shark but it was fucking vicious dude
good times good shout out to the 90s fuck out fuck with uh quicksand
now that that wasn't real what are we Indiana Jones Super Mario
you're relaxed hey pitfall take it easy yeah anybody throw a turtle at you ever
have you ever had a hippopotamus attack you I mean
have you ever tried to cross a swamp and hippos start charging you I hear they're the
most dangerous ones I don't know why I just did Lewis was we played in quicksand as a
kid I played in where where would you have quicksand
Africa yeah the amazon where the fuck you grew up and fucking I didn't know you were
Johnny quest what the fuck he's like what you've never stolen a diamond from a pyramid
ancient stone look over Toby's got a weighted bag and a fucking
tries to switch it real quick
what museum were you working for at the time what dig where you are
he's like what so I said an ancient spell backwards all the dinosaur bones came to life
you guys never fought that's what was the name of your guys genie when you were never had a weekend
with Bernie wait why I don't know they it was a voodoo they brought him back to life
no they didn't they just thank you Lois jake don't get at bernie's too they they apparently
Jamaicans do voodoo so they use like they I think they use like chicken breast instead of a live
chicken or something they use kfc and they fucking and the hate every time they play
reggae music Bernie would just fuck it it was a dance and they're like in like 2011 they were
doing it in the club they would go do the Bernie I don't think you were in the clubs when you guys
were on my podcast I just I was going skiing that week yeah which I wanted to update you looked
you look the part I gotta give you that impressive but I also know that I crushed it I crushed it I
also am aware there was some video that was not that was not aired on network that you you might
have stepped over the line a couple of times you know you went on some hills you maybe shouldn't
have yeah I was funny as I talk about it on stage now but I got bullied by a fucking white guy I
told you you're not going to mesh well with white skiers no they were you don't have you don't have
the hey my bad fucking bye those dudes are upset you're there and you're party bro well no I got I
went on the wrong slope like I was going down the green ones all day and I was like alright I got
this I told you stay on the greens I went down a blue one and I crushed it but here's what
happens okay did you have poles by the way I feel like you didn't have poles no I had poles
you had poles oh but I was just doing some fucking sell I was doing shit you're not supposed to do
like selfie stopping taking pictures in the middle of the trail up next the flying Puerto Rican
you're not supposed to do any of that and he's on FaceTime making calls just hanging out on the
ski lift going around while you're meeting that there once two o'clock hits the entire mountain
turns to ice okay it's just fucking a whole sheet of ice so it becomes a lot more difficult to get
down so I go down the one blue hill I was like that was fucking exhilarating that was incredible
but I'm gonna go down that one again let's go and I took the ski lift back up I took the wrong
ski lift because I see that one and I was like well that's gone now and I'm just going fucking up
up up up and you know where you're supposed to get off the whole time I was getting off the ski
lift you get to the top it's flat and you just fucking go oh you lean forward you go to the right
you're like I look at that I just got off the ski lift it's a nice feeling this one when I got to
the top it was a drop it was like this like you had a drop off the ski lift and start just skating
down this fucking hill Jesus and I just had never experienced that so I looked at it I was like
that's not where I gotta get off I'll get on the next one so I just stayed on the ski lift and then
they stopped it yeah of course they're like you gotta go off the trigger you're not allowed to go
back down you're not allowed to go down you can't it's not a fucking carnival right yeah no you're
not supposed to so I mean you could if you would I guess I could have argued yeah that like no I'm
going back down but I I mean I haven't skied in a while but I used to I grew up skiing in snowboarding
and when you go around it there's like a tripwire that automatically stops the oh maybe there was a
tripwire yeah you hit like one of those poles that like falls so all I know is they stopped it he was
like oh you gotta get off so I had to jump down now the whole everybody on the ski lift you just
hear them doing that oh come on let's go buddy come on there's girls and Daisy Duke's laughing
hey it's the fat kid from the cliff so fully I don't know how's your fingernails loser I don't
you you said you had been skiing before you had I mean minimally all right so you're probably like
me where you know I'm robust to a certain degree so I can't get up with the skis on so I have to
take my ski off it's very hot if you've never fallen in skis it's very fucking hard yeah I have to
take one ski off each time real real amateur move by everyone's tutting and heing and hauling
the whole time so I could so then I get up and I'm like oh fuck dude look at this hill
and it's crazy I mean it's so steep by the way I'm just right in the path so they haven't moved
this ski lift I'm just standing there everyone is just get on this hill doggy they fucking
do they hate me so much so I was like oh sorry so I move out of the way and then these three guys
get off and then one guy's like hey buddy get out of the way and I'm like I was like I was like
relax I don't know what I'm doing yeah we know then he goes yeah obviously what a fucking no
fuck that's a great joke dude that's a great response it made me furious dude that's so
that is a fucking home run response obviously as he zips away in his yellow coat or something
I was like yeah motherfucker I was like yeah how about come say that to my face
meanwhile you probably fell again no he goes ski on or get peed on that's when he said that line
he goes ski on or get peed on oh that's a douchey like so he stopped it obviously and then I go I was
like yeah you want to pee on me bro you want to pee on me and then I fell again and then they
laughed again and zipped down the hill did a little ollie over here and then what's fucked up
was like I was like fuck dude I don't know how to get down this hill so I start going down
and when you go skiing you gotta go side to side right so you go side to side and sort of that's
how you mitigate your speed so my plan was I was like I'm just gonna go to one side stop one side
stop one until I get smarter down is it you go you go pretty fast right along my path is the other
blue hill that I had gone down so essentially it's just further up and steeper you get to that one
and I knew I hit that at some point once I got to that one I knew I could at least handle that but
this was really really steep so I start going down and I wanted to stop but I just was going too fast
and I'm not good at turning to my left so I just hit the and I started going straight down I'm talking
about like barreling um so then you're thinking I'm going too fast to make a turn and then you're
just fucked so then I was like well I obviously have to throw myself on the ground to stop myself
so then I said kind of ski on my side and the skis they have a it's sort of like made so they come
off your foot so they don't snap your ankles off your body so it flew off my foot but it flew in
front of me so my body just fucking went boom right over the ski and it broke the ski break
so the ski break was in position where it wouldn't go up so now if I try to ski my foot was skidding
right so when I put it back on so I broke the ski break back at the other position so now it
couldn't be on so when I went to go put it on it slipped out from under me and shot down the hill
so I just watched the ski I mean dude it was just going so I'm on one fucking ski I'm just
trying to get people to help me I'm like doing this people like get the fuck out of the way I saw
the other guys that gave me shit right down to the slope but I saw the ski under get peed on guys
they'd come down another time they were laughing they're getting laughed on the hill and luckily I
just I could I found the one the track for the one ski that went into the woods let me borrow
your ski dude and I tracked my fucking ski into the woods and I finally got it and was able to
were you scared at any point at one point when I was up there I was like fuck I'm actually going
to be in trouble here yeah I was like because if there's nobody to help you of course I can't get
back up they can't get down it's not like you can get on somebody's shoulders and ride down yeah
they send the they send the snowmobile for you yeah and then they pull you on the walk down right
it was too steep to just walk down I had ski boots on so technically I could have like you know
you're all like fucking walking like a deer they push you forward so I could have technically
sort of made my way down and you know slowly and painfully I just want to slid down did you
challenge the ski on a get peed on guy to a race for the ownership of the mountain no I didn't
but I showed up and did you see them again when you got down to the lot no I didn't but had I seen
him you would have would you have definitely said something I had no more confidence left in my
what was your girl doing doing all this she was taking she was taking a ski lesson
so she was just fucking it was with this old guy though I didn't have to worry about it
couple of ski bunnies on the hill yeah a couple fucking yeah she no she I was better than her
I was pretty good I'm I'm actually pretty decent at skiing that would take her as a skier I would
peg her I'll take you let's go um good times shit all right this is uh this is from Joshua do
you consider craft singles cheese are you a craft singles guy you probably grew up craft singles
no because we were too poor we were shop right American yellow American so we just buy the pound
yeah we go buy a pound of America give me a pound of yellow American um I don't really consider
American cheese cheese much less craft singles it's not real cheese well why don't you take that
commie shit yeah it sounds like some European bullshit if you ask me I'm a big craft single guy
what do you do what do you do with Jane what would be a typical lunch James is home daddy I want
lunch what so we were snowed in for a couple days we went right I went to the supermarket
yeah it's the fucking best I did get lunch meat nice I got some turkey I got some ham I got some
you fuck with uh the blaze and buffalo chicken the buffalo chicken he doesn't know about that yet
salsa lido salsa same shit it's just a better version it's the I think it's the boar's head
version of the blaze and buffalo is salsa lido no the boar's head is blaze and buffalo okay so
whatever it's a little bit different look up a little bit caliente maybe look up salsa lido
yeah so that's we know the no it's not lido's turkey the blaze and buffalo chicken yeah oh you
do a salsa lido turkey I'll give you that that's in the same wheelhouse very nice
classy delightful so I didn't do that no I just got regular turkey out regular ham you got uh
cheddar cheese what I did was I did uh a slice of ham slice of uh turkey two slices of cheese
put it in the fryer make it like a grilled cheese hot meat grilled cheese salmon's european style
and the fryer you know frying pan oh okay yeah you did a grilled cheese with some meat on it
you're underselling the salsa lido because it's blaze and buffalo but it's bold salsa lido turkey
damn he just won up me what the fuck and what's the what's the bread situation what are you using
over there usually 15 grain okay not good you do it not you really fucking and you put them on
the cheddar no american so you're not getting I don't want to you won't let him have craft singles
I mean if we if we're I'm telling him like no you can't eat that I just would never buy it
it what about the cereal what do you got fancy tastes so for him I just he does like oatmeal and
shit he'll do like you know cream farina cream of wheat shit like that farina that's this dude that's
it sucks because like growing up I would look at those kids make that fucking stinks but that's
the right play otherwise we're fucking cereal guys he's gonna grow up to be better I was lucky
charm lucky charm myself but if I try to get my kid lucky charms he's like dad what are we doing
here like he's a little really you think I'll get my oatmeal he looks at that as like a treat
like dessert you know but he's just you know he's just got way better way better habits than we had
that's good like I didn't even have lucky as a kid like lucky charms is by far the best if you
even try to say something different we got problems so big fan big fan not a fan I gotta say not a
lucky charm love never never how is that even possible well we're irish and we thought it was
racist the whole time so we weren't no we just as a Puerto Rican I thought cookie crisp was offensive
the thieves my father on a cereal box is there an elephant one fully can get mad at
the hamburgers last name was Vasquez real rude we were a cocoa pebbles house for sure cocoa pebbles
big honey not Cheerios baby honey not cheerio there was nothing wrong with the classic that's
because he was trying to pretend he was healthy my mom was still my mom knew that we were too
my brother we're only two years apart we were both animals if a box of lucky charms came into the
house at two o'clock on a Sunday when she got back from the grocery store it would be gone before
dinner yeah that's why she never much has changed apparently but it's like five fucking bowls of
cereal I mean I can eat five bowls of cereal in one sitting right now yeah at this point honestly
where I'm at weight wise so if I have like an edible or something in me I can easily eat a box of
cereal in one sitting yeah I mean that's not shocking to anybody I wasn't trying to shock anybody
just the ABCs of me baby have you ever put honey on Honey Nut Cheerios yeah I put syrup on it too
what what not recently last summer pre-pandemic at least I mean that's kind of crazy Honey Nut Cheerios
putting extra sweeteners on it well that's why we've come to the conclusion on the podcast that's
why I'm fat is because it's never it's never enough for me it's always got to be something else
I have to add something to it you know like I'll have to dip my chips in like honey mustard
or something like cream or something rather than just have the chips it's also portion control
let's not be like ah it's the toppings are getting me it's portion control it's the condiments yeah it's
the honey I put so much I put so many chopped onions on my hot dogs too much mustard I put so
much muscle to my 15th hamburger it's got these wrinkles I'm telling you they're gonna be a death
of me these crude times are destroying my life all right all right uh this is from Chad have you
ever walked through a drive-thru yeah really oh yeah well you learned the hard way that it's like
weight sensor jumping up and down on it maybe like yelling at it and you're gonna run up to a window
they're like you need a car it's like come on what do you fucking care for why do you care I don't
know why I hate when the guys care why would they often are you in it that they're caring I hate
multiple stories see back there again doggy we used to drive to go to the because the drive
there's open late so that's that's it you know and when I didn't have a car at certain times in my
life simple as that you gotta go get some fast food gotta get some McDonald's yeah I'm taking
back in the day before uber's like I was in college in Philly we would oh that's the best take a taxi
oh and it'd be like dude don't turn the meter on I'll buy you know what I mean like I'll buy
whatever you want I'll get you a hamburger yeah but when I live I can just do the loop and I'll
break the fuck out when I first moved when we first moved up here I was living on 35th street
in Astoria Boulevard there's a Burger King right there I would get off the Astoria Boulevard exit
I like fucking 11 o'clock at night fucking zero money getting our dick kicked in fucking starving
and I would walk up to the Burger King and I'd walk up there with like three dollars and at the time
they had like you know like you know bacon cheeseburgers for like a dollar so I try to get like two
of them there was just one kid that would play ball and so I would have to fucking like stand there
and watch the cars go by and look in the window to see if he's in the bushes
is it clear is it clear he's yelling at his manager look he set the sensor off
put a license plate on my forehead let's give me the fries dickhead but sometimes they wouldn't do it
and that you think that the the level of humiliation in that is fucking astounding when
there's cars behind you and you're getting shot down at the drive-thru yeah oh you're doing it when
there's other cars there yeah I'll thumb in line have you ever like have you ever gotten like a
nine-piece chicken McNuggets and they give you eight and you're like I gotta go back now and ask them
for the other single chicken McNugget you take your loss and you'll go back I'll go fucking back
still to this day I want I went to a diner the other day yeah I went to a diner the other day
with my son and my chick and we ordered breakfast and my uh I ordered uh this isn't three eggs
the I know they gave me um what is it uh where you fucking get the eggs and the
hollandaise sauce over the eggs Benedict eggs Ben I got a Ben I got a Benny right you look at you
dude I would have had you for someone not like oh just knowing what the public knows about you
like first glance I would be like he doesn't even know what eggs but let's do this by the numbers
it's crazy fucking house in the burp Audi Audi fucking good you got a good kid on the sand
trampoline in the front yard trampolines side yard side yard hey fucking eating eggs Benedict
so they I don't have the confidence to order eggs and the war the eggs were too watery so I went
into it and it's like exploded with like just clear liquid everywhere it was it was sickening so I
sent it back and I was like that's the way they're supposed to be poached eggs no they're not supposed
to eat now they're supposed to be clear like to clear jizz you don't want the way you want the
you want the yolk to be fucking hey I've had a McMuffin before this is not right so I was like
hey I was like you do them um you know medium this time or whatever so they gave it back to me
now there was two pieces of fucking ham on each piece the first time this time it came back one
at two piece of ham the other one had one piece of ham oh my god I was like excuse me mess oh my god
oh you're the worst dude I was like I'm missing one of my piece of ham on this piece of eggs Benedict
she's chewing it fuck that dude I pay for that shit I want every single bit of it then how did
you tip are you a good tipper a great tip yeah I could peg you as a great tipper but I fucking I
I start to they start off at 25% and then it goes down from there it can go up from there too if it's
incredible service now is she losing points for that she didn't make the eggs it's how they handle
the situation how did she handle it she handled it fine she was fine she was cool she was like I'll
be right back we had other food on the table it wasn't really a problem did she get to 25
she might have gotten more stuff like 30 yeah I gave her $100 bill it was $75 bill
that crazy breakfast is 75 bucks $75 for eggs Benedict though we're not talking french toast
dude a fresh squeezed orange juice do you get do you guys get something to share like some pancakes
to share so yeah I usually get some yeah some things some silver dollar pancakes to share corn
beef hash to share maybe some uh grits then we all order our own entrees and we pick off each other's
plates I love it I love it I gotta get a lot I like flavors I like I like I like fucking flavors
okay I like that bothers me that's too many flavors no to everybody I just want my thing
do my girlfriend fuck you you did not want to share she straight up was a shed her she ordered
like avocado for toast and my son was like hey can we like share me with your son and she was like
you gotta kick this bitch to the curb she said no she said no it's broad's gotta go
it was bonkers yeah honestly that would that would be a deal break it was bonkers that bothers me
yeah I just don't like sharing food and he was just like no you're kidding right like yeah
who invited this broad he couldn't believe it he could not fucking believe that she would not share
our food she was like I'll save you I don't fucking especially to a little kid yeah he was like I
really like her but you know the fact that she doesn't share it was it was it was borderline
sociopath behavior yeah that's not good man seriously that's not the red flag yeah major
red flag at least blame it on the pandemic or something like hey we're not doing that during
the pandemic that's what I've been doing okay okay first of all he's a fucking little kid he doesn't
need it he's got the corn be passed in the silver dollar bank he's gotta have everything on a menu
it's important it's important for you okay you see there's a line here now Kevin Ryan gets it
which I mean some people are like that they just don't want to they got their thing they don't
want some of your thing they don't want to share yeah that's no that's I'm a share I'm like we're
like family style like everything it's like I get a little piece of yours you get a little piece of
mine yeah try everything that's my every time I order that's why I love eating with my girlfriend
every time well I think I think you're getting the better into that deal every time and then
well I'll be like I was like yeah I'm gonna get the steak with it she was like I'm gonna also get
the steak I'll punch her right in her fucking cheekbone because it's like no we are sharing you're
gonna get a different on my wife does that all the fucking time we're gonna share that's fucking love
that's that's love that's a community that my wife can order whatever the fuck she's paying for by
the way she can order whatever she wants because she's picking up the bill I'm gonna order whatever
she'd like do you want to do this this and we'll share that it's like no I want a whole thing of
like even the way you're saying it right now like your eyes are rolling to the back of your
head I'm picturing us crazy dude I'm picturing us I'm picturing us one night we went to this
place called Twisted Oak in uh uh Terry Towns very nice it's like a fucking five-star restaurant
very expensive and I legit ruined dinner because I wouldn't share with her wow it was yeah you
guys both ordered the same thing because you didn't want to share with her something like
it was something and like I legit ruined this like $400 dinner I legit ruined it what the fuck's
wrong with you shut up if she tries to get two cherries in my if she tries to get the same thing
as me I legitimately have a problem with it I'm like what are you doing like we're not getting all
of the flavors that we can get every time more flavors in my body trashy to me no it's not no
it's not then come back the next week you jerk off that's why that's why you're in a relationship
all right so shit like that to share the food no I could have some of yours all right it's
it's a fat person mentality the fat guy the fat guys at the table have a different attitude I do
it with the other tables too what do you guys get I'll get you done with the whole system
have you when's the lack because I know the answer is yes when's the last time you ate food off of
a stranger's table when they weren't either weren't looking they left a diner we were kids we would
fucking do that all the time he got fired for it not too long ago no when I was waiting tables that
was a all the time all the time all the time even on his days all come in see what's good
what's the special tomorrow I'll see you at noon
let me put it this way I put the food down a minute later I'm coming back you guys all done with this
he used to have he used to have a pretty good view where he would recommend it for the kids
kids were the best to eat off of and he would recommend you that he should try the calamari
but in reality the kids kids kids and adult men
if they weren't attractive I wouldn't eat off their plate but it was an attractive guy
an attractive girl I would but kids I know those chicken fingers they got boogers on them
oh yeah they're picking them up sucking on the end putting it back yeah they're doing
fucking weird shit no and it's also depends on what it is you're not gonna eat like a half
eaten burger for some we'll be right back after these words from the stereo app
I will eat it if if an attractive businesswoman comes in and cuts her burger and part of this
is sexual because it's always based on their appearance she's got if she's got something
slutty on yeah I'll have a bite of her hot dog she's in a tree with a uniform a turkey club and
they got one you know a fucking triangle with one untouched or whatever yeah like yeah I'll eat
that and I'll be right now eat that some chicken fingers some french fries I completely get it
that's not hang on I want to get back to this real real quick I just want to touch on this
um I don't know how how sensitive of a kid James is but if he's a little sense like you know if
he picks things up I bet you that fucking really bothered him and probably made him feel he is a
sensitive it probably made him feel weird man like that that that's not a clue because you know
and just like as a girlfriend you want to like not impressed but you want to like you know be a part
of the family or whatever that's a real fucking right you know what it is I had to separate myself
from it just because I'm just not that way but then you talk to somebody like Kevin who's like they
get it and some people they don't want to switch they don't want to put you don't put your fingers
in my food don't touch my food they have their own I won't share a drink yeah I mean dude if he
I can't even eat in front of him anymore I'm just saying from a child's perspective I feel bad for
James and he's very he's very smart he's not he's not like a super sensitive he's carrying around
because that would bother me they've hung out since he fucking loves her all right that would
bother me for a while she's fucking as well look she jumps on the trampoline with him it's all right
okay all right I got more upset about you really did yeah um I know you have a history with um cab
drivers have you ever falsely reported an uber driver for texting while driving to get a full
refund on your trip or anything of that nature no but I have if they forget a ketchup packet in my
uber eats I will pretend that five things are missing and that the driver threatened me
and he wouldn't share with my kid well oh so you'll do that to like cash in on like a free
chicken sandwich or something yeah because you'll just like say all right like you know the condiments
are important okay so let's say they forget the hot and sour sauce or whatever it is right
you're like okay now I'm just supposed to not enjoy this as much and if you complain about it
okay sorry but it's not the uber it's guy fault it's not coming out of his it's not coming out of
his end you sure yeah yeah I don't come out of the store yeah the store will go like oh we'll give you
a free burger or whatever yeah it's not he's not he's not in the kitchen preparing the food he just
picked up I know it's what I'm saying a staple bag I don't think I've ever used uber eats I've used
seamless yeah seamless is only a new like a new york thing though and not not everywhere has seamless
so in the so in the server is when you call to get something delivered yeah it's not the pizza
places delivery guy it's an uber driver I don't think they have delivery guys at these places yeah
most of them are just so they just subcontracted out to reach out I don't like that man I don't
like it I don't want I don't like to think of an uber driver bringing my food to me it's a delivery
guy I don't know it's it's weird he doesn't have any accountability because once he's gone he's gone
you know look if I'm an uber driver I'm eating one third of every piece of food that comes
and they've caught people doing the one guy was drinking a milkshake and put the little
strop thing back on did you see there was pictures of the guy with like the seamless
bag or the uber eats bags in a public restroom he's taken a shit and he had the bags in there with
so you just see his pants down at his ankles and then like two two mcdonald's bags or whatever
see that's what I'm talking about whatever at least the guy who works at the place he knows
he's accountable yeah he can get yelled at by the boss yeah for doing whatever I was a delivery
driver for a hot minute when I was home I was a pizzeria driver pretty food was actually not a
big gig yeah got the windows down a couple of seats yeah a couple of burnies yes I'm
running some skinner on the radio talk about good fucking clean living right there um all right
only a few more this is from Simon in the facebook group have you ever taken a picture in front of
someone else's car no that's so fucking garbage that's sickening it's bro I saw someone do it like
grown-ups did we were in wildwood a few weeks ago and there was like you know a Lamborghini or
something parked and this like grown men pulled over got out of their car and took a picture in
front of somebody like this is how we're living one of the yeah just like yeah check it out I'm like
you could just google that picture as well and also have it there's no need for it to be I think
those things I think those cars are loser anyway I I'm being on not because I can't afford them
but I think there's a certain level that you stop at I wouldn't want to be driving around in a
Lamborghini like a fucking loser like an orange Lamborghini like these doors drive around money
wasn't an object you stop I'm telling you I swear to God it's not the money you stop at an Audi
you stop at a Benz you stop at a beamer something like that no that's what you drive in every day
but you just I mean dude I'm thinking about buying a nice convertible like an old classic
convertible this summer just to drive around it what are you doing I like it this guy's got cash
and he knows how to spend it I'm just saying I want to fucking have a nice convertible drive around
this summer go to the beach like a seabring or something I don't even know so what my mom had
that's what I learned how to drive in shout out to a fucking red seabring convertible Lewis and
if money wasn't an object I would get a fucking Porsche Lamborghini just a fucking
who gives a shit it's just a toy it's like I have a fucking Oculus that I never use
always just made it can't fit in it yeah I would do it I would I would get the Magnum Ferrari
that's as far as I would go I don't even know what that is Magnum PI oh okay this guy I'm like
I'm out of car I don't know shit about cars I literally don't know my car just stopped working
right now like I don't know what I would do take it to a mechanic I don't even know how to get it
there how do I it's not work on the Uber Eats guy yeah I'm majorly fucked it like you have AAA
get AAA I think I have AAA I don't know it's like a hundred bucks a year you gotta order and you
pull over even if you if you get if you fucking your car dies you just fucking call it up and
they send someone to come get you sure and most insurance plans might have I couldn't even find
my registration card or insurance card in my I gotta I don't know what either one of those are
like if they were like license and registration I wouldn't they would think that I'm like doing
crazy shit I was like sir can you help me if I don't know there's some papers here that I'm pretty
sure it's in one of the envelopes sometimes it makes me how successful you are and the things
that you don't know I don't know I don't know like me and my sister were talking about this the other
day um I don't like if I got a flat tire I still don't know if I have a spare you have a donut
or don't I have no idea yeah out he might have a full spare but it's also this is this is why
where is it it's under the it's in the trunk I open the trunk there's nothing in that you
fucking it's not in the glove compartment maybe no I know I'm not a hundred percent positive
that there is yeah there's it's underneath the trunk yeah there's like a little be a little knob
you unscrew the knob and it's like a false bottom it will be a weed and how could you not know that
that's why he's successful because he just doesn't bother him like he doesn't it's not
occupying his mind he's focused on big if I got a flat tire he's only got so much
fucking ramp space in that head I would freak the fuck out on the on the side of a road somewhere
and start screaming you be the tire irons aren't for beeps with Uber drivers so I have this weapon
that came in the back they're not as good as they used to be anymore because it's like a part
that connects to the to the jack it's all one it's one piece I just had to change it my tire a
couple months ago yeah I don't know how to do any of that stuff but I'm gonna figure it out maybe
have it figured that's pretty easy yeah smart guy yeah all right a couple more here this is from
Brian uh do you now that you're a big drive do you draft behind a truck on a highway to save gas
what is draft what is this fucking Talladega who the fuck is doing that to save your money I
don't know stop doing that our listeners are dirty so there's less drag on my car yeah yeah how much
money could that really say no over the course of your life yeah the dangerous act just go underneath
them like yeah you're talking to a guy who's pinewood derby car was a block he doesn't know
that sounds like it's extremely dangerous and not worth the pennies per year that you would save
yeah it is funny some of the things people do that they think they're really saving so much money
it's crazy I don't do anything to save money I literally I none of my time during the day
is thought about terrible money I buy the more expensive the premium gas I don't know why you
should probably for now do you probably should I don't know why I have no idea why I just do it
sometimes on like a holiday I'll fill mine up with the 93 just to like treat her a little bit
she's had a rough life she only doesn't have that much longer I think I gotta make her enjoy
her last I think that's actually not good for whatever I don't know I have no idea the difference
I have no idea what one is versus the can you check your oil no he doesn't know if he has a
fucking tire what do you mean for three weeks so I need to check my oil already
well but do you have a sticker of when you're supposed to change the oil every 10,000 miles
10,000 didn't they say every 10,000 no it should be every 5,000 it's they say 3,000 but that's big
oil that's big jib here's the thing it depends they now have synthetic oil which gets you a little
bit longer which is 5,000 regular oils 3,000 I got the synthetic just because that's how the car's
made I would assume either way I'm 5,000 miles over my dude my current due date I gotta be honest
whether they're poor and lucky I paid I paid for them you know they was it a new car certified
pre-owned it was uh pre-owned yeah it uh but it only he should have just said no it had 4,000 miles
on it yeah it's like a demo car it was the loner it was the loner cars and nobody owned it so that's
so people treated it it looked brand new it was a $10,000 difference between yeah no growing up
my buddy's family on a car dealership and from 16 on he would just get a new car every like three
months yeah and he then they would he would get a new car he put like 3,000 miles on it
and then they would sell that as the deal the dealer demo yeah so he would just have a new car
every fucking three months pretty sweet um all right let's see when was the last time you wore
no socks with sneakers do you do that are you are you a pure sock guy I mean I'm a pure sock guy
like in life but like I have thrown them on to run outside or yeah that's yeah are you do slippers
you a slippers guy at the house now I know my I have a robe and I had slippers I don't know where
my slippers went after the move but isn't crazy my robe is too hot my robe is fucking like thick
yeah it's hot I want one of those like gay show role you know what I mean like like real like silk
you know like a hotel row feels fucking slutty like a Japanese hooker yeah I was a fucking servant
of business I got my wife in a suit just walk in the room and drop it yeah um have you ever worn
flip flops with jeans yeah yeah that was that was big slides hundred percent oh you'll do like the
adidas I would do thongs I would do no socks for a while but then I dated a Puerto Rican girl
she's like no you gotta put socks on there was like isn't that garbage and I think what on the flip
flaps that's real garbage socks with slides or how cool black people do it yeah it depends on
what race you are in the urban community if you're a brown person and you do not have socks on and
your toes are out they're like yo nigga you nasty put your toes away yeah but white people if you
wear socks with slides then your white trash fucking like you know dad get in the newspaper
off the front lawn so yeah it just depends on the the race hmm I always thought that was a prison
thing that people in prison they wore slides and socks mean you're gay or not I don't know
I thought that's what I always saw like when I watched like locked up or whatever yeah I think
that's I mean I don't I don't think it's a fashion choice in jail no yeah hmm I think it's pretty
trashy all right let's think of a go let's get a good one here to end on this is from Nick Parker
was your first time getting drunk on wine coolers if not what was it good great question
it was well yeah mine mine too how'd you get them just wine coolers it was wine coolers and like
malt liquor but it started off like six or seven wine coolers yeah it was a new year's eve party
next door my uh in the 90s probably late 90s yeah I was in the seventh or eighth grade holy
yeah same as me if you look up what year California love by Tupac came out like the world premiere
of the video was a new year's day this is the the day after I got really drunk that was something
else that song that video was bananas it would make me nauseous for years
goddamn sea grims wild cherry dude literally I would hear California like
it would fuck me up dude because I got so drunk my friend Gano's party Gano was a
supporter we can kid Gano Miguel Gano are you saying Gano Gano I don't think you know what
I think it's Gano Miguel but it was pronounced Gano Amiga
do you speak Spanish fluently no I don't know but they were barely speaks English what are you
talking about they they were Gano Amiga that's how you have to say his name you can say Miguel
that was fucking crazy dude my Dominican buddy is he's his his first name is the the Vietnamese
last name win like the NGYN I don't know why this his mom name on that but and they're like proper
to like from the DR so they just call him Gujian so his name is his name is spelled win but it's Gujian
hey Gujian so he's a gooch it's so funny I'm like I've met him I was like Gujo his name and I'm
like what's that and like I saw his name I'm like dude your name I don't know if anybody's broken
it to you in 20 years but that's not your name dude all right good stuff Lewis thank you
thanks for having the folks out there to know that you got coming up um yeah just check out the
pods I host a bunch of podcasts the newest one is Gomez watching science I'll do with my sister
who grew up real trash we gotta get we gotta get her on an episode of this yeah for sure confirm
everything I've said for sure for sure um but yeah that's uh you guys can subscribe to all the stuff
that I do on iTunes and everywhere else but guess digitalnetwork.com is a place where we can grab
everything ad-free and uncensored all in one place of course buddy thank you so much Kip you
what do you got for him as always please make sure you rate review subscribe on iTunes full video
available on YouTube and patreon.com and I'm at Kevin Ryan comedy on all social media excellent
t-bone thank you so much Lewis thank you so much for coming in what a family episode thank you we
love you guys we'll see you next week hey gang just another quick reminder about the stereo app
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