Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Luke Combs!
Episode Date: July 21, 2024Are You Garbage presents country music star Luke Combs! You know Luke from hit songs like Fast Car, Where the Wild Things Are, & Ain't No Love in Oklahoma as well as podcast appearances on Theo Von Th...is Past Weekend, the Joe Rogan Experience, the Full Send Podcast and Sundae Conversation! Thanks for watching the Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast! AYG Live Show Tickets: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Pretty Litter: https://www.prettylitter.com/garbage True Classic: https://www.trueclassic.com/garbage Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hang on a second there gang. You got a lot of chances to come see an RU Garbage live show.
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Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or
absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is R U Garbage.
Oh yeah.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that you have
to go to be classy.
Yeah.
But you're just a big old piece of trash.
Trash. I'm your host H. Fo, but you're just a big old piece of trash
I'm your host stage fully coming at you on a very special day for a very special episode We are here at MetLife Stadium out in the swamps a Jersey and tooties out there trying to hotwire a golf cart
So she'll be getting picked up by the New Jersey State Troopers
Okay, sometime in the near future my co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of RU garbage
He is an international businessman and my best pal in the near future. My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of RU Garbage.
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it the fuck out, gang. It's a party over there over there Love that money and how about a nice shout out to our producer
Extraordinaire, the old magic man makes us all look good
Works the ones, the twos, the threes and the fours
He crosses the T's and he dots the I's
Give it up for T-Bone McScruffins
Toby McMullen everybody
What up boys
What up T-Bone
This is so sick, listen
T-Bone looks like a roadie for fucking Luke Holmes
Hey man, cut the sleeves off your shirt
Boil some peanuts, grab a red cup.
We got a country boy in here, dude.
Gang, the long hair ain't lying, because we
couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly,
and I mean incredibly special guest here with us today.
He was nice enough to open up his green room to us.
He is in town here at MetLife to do a couple of big, big shows
out here in Jersey.
He is a two- country. God damn it.
He is a two time country country Music Association entertainer
of the year.
He is a multi platinum artist and an international superstar.
But the big question, but he's mine today.
Is he garbage?
Give it up for Luke Holmes.
Everybody messed up.
I swear to God.
No, it's not true. That's not true. First one I ever messed up I swear to God.
No, that's not true. We'll be snipping around that a little bit. How you doing brother?
Thanks for coming man. I'm good, I'm good. Yeah, thanks for having me guys. Thanks for
coming in buddy, we really appreciate it. Congrats on everything. Thanks. Obviously
the tour, the album. Yes. Just killing it. Yeah, it's been crazy. It's been a crazy couple
of years. Yeah, that's awesome. Givestory. Give us give us the origins. North Carolina kid. North Carolina guy. Yeah, I was born in Charlotte. Okay. North Carolina.
Moved to Asheville. Me and my parents moved to Asheville and any brothers and sisters is only child child.
Only child solo. Yeah. Gotcha. How old were you when you moved? Eight. Okay. So eight. So it was like
second grade, third grade. Single family home, single family home. Nice. Any relatives
and cousins, anything like that? I had a bunch of yeah. And
Charlotte. So like my mom's whole side of my mom's family all
lived lived in Charlotte still lives in Charlotte. Okay. So I
grew up all my cousins like my mom's got a sister and a
brother and they both had kids and we're all kind of similar.
How close in proxy was anybody like neighbors? Do you have any
of that?
Or like your aunt, your next door neighbor type shit?
No, we didn't have any like no compound vibe.
No, no.
It's a good way to put it.
Country mile though.
And it was all pretty close, you know?
It was all pretty close.
Yeah. Okay.
And what would your parents do growing up?
My dad was pretty much like a maintenance man.
So he did that.
My mom was, she had a few jobs,
but she worked at, started out at at least the job that I first knew she had she worked at first union bank
Okay, she was she started as a teller
And then she got in the HR department and then the mortgage department worked there for 22 years
Through like first union got bought by Wachovia. Okay. And then Wachovia got bought by Wells Fargo.
The mergers and acquisitions.
Oh yeah dude, it was big talk in our house man.
There's nobody else I'd talk to dude, you know.
I can't catch that check without an ID sir, let's go.
I don't care if I know your face.
And then she got, and then when, so we're like when Wells Fargo, when they took over,
they eliminated the position that my mom held at the at
Wachovia they eliminated that job like from their business or whatever
Not shout out Wells Fargo. Yeah can and my mom after 22 years appreciate that
So then she worked sky holds a grudge
That's bozo shit, it's like, what are you doing? But so then she worked
HR at a women's prison. All right. Damn. But that was like once I was in college. I was
like already out of the house and stuff like that happened. So actually both my parents
retired as state employees of North Carolina. Pretty good pensions. There you go. So they
live in the same house that you grew up in in Asheville? They did until about two years
ago. They did until about
two years ago. They they moved
in Asheville once we had kids.
There you go. I've got I've got
two boys. I've got a two year
old. Okay. I've got a year old
and uh next month one year old
damn. Congratulations. Move
quick. It's been busy at the
house. There we go. I've been
busy at the house but yeah they
live about 12 minutes from me
now. Okay. And what was the name
of the street that you grew up
on? The name of the street that you grew up on? The
name of the street that I grew
up on was Hickory Tree Road.
Damn. That's some country shit
right there, dude. Hickory Tree
Road. No cold of sacks in that
neighborhood. Yeah, no. No. No.
It just ran. This just ran off
a cliff. Yeah. Yeah. It's just
into a lake or something. Yeah.
River, actually. Yeah. What was
the what was the grocery store
growing up? Where would you go?
Ingles. Ingles. Ingles. Oh, I don't? Ingles. Ingles. Ingles. I don't know. Ingles.
Was it good?
How did it shape up in the area?
Yeah.
Solid.
Yeah, it was not.
It's like a big chain.
Really, I'd say Western North Carolina.
Deli counter?
Deli counter.
Down in Keller back there.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, whole deal.
They had them kind of like northern South Carolina,
like upstate South Carolina, and then eastern or western North Carolina.
All right.
It's kind of like their area.
Gotcha.
That's a first for us.
I've never seen one anywhere.
Outside of there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think La Covea bought them.
What was the family car growing up?
Ooh, family car.
Mom had a Subaru Baja.
Do you know what that is?
What the fuck?
It was like a-
Is he a rally car driver?
Kind of like a-
Ski instructor? That's crazy.
I know.
Like a liberal El Camino.
Yes, it has the little,
has the small bed in the back.
Man, she had one of those?
Yeah, dude.
She's a liberal El Camino.
Liberal El Camino.
They always had like yellow, brown, and red on the side,
like a little, a little panic on it.
Oh yeah, man, it was sharp.
It was really sharp.
They only made like four of those.
First time I drove a car, I drove a Subaru Baja
to get Bojangles.
Damn.
So it was a killer ride.
I was 11 years old.
It was cool, man, it was cool.
And my dad's car was the work van.
OK.
Oh, he had the work van.
He had the work van.
Were you allowed to drive it?
Were you allowed to ride in the work van?
I rode the work van.
I occasionally went to work with my dad.
OK. Was that the first job, like went to work with my dad and stuff.
Was that the first job, like going to work with him?
Or did you have like a-
My first job was Asheville's Fun Depot,
go-kart operator, laser tag extraordinaire, climbing wall.
Joe Dirt, dude.
Yeah, bumper cars, dude, redemption counter.
You didn't fix the go-karts.
No.
You just, you just get everybody in there.
I just like blew the whistle at your kid if they
like hit the wall. Yeah. Do that fun thing where you drove on the side while like you like steered it. Yeah.
I drive like in the passenger seat of the double. Yeah.
Everyone's like damn look how cool that guy looks. Going in reverse the whole way.
Uh-huh. Learned how to do it in a box. And then we knew which cars were like juiced. Like we could like take the screws back. The governor and shit. Yeah. And the kids would be like,
I'll race you. You know, and we're like, yeah man, I'll just hop in this one.
Go get the Baja. I'll throw them what's up. Any big wrecks when you were working there?
Oh yeah. All the time. The thing that blew me away about working there, to be honest with you, was
you would get, so you know, I'm 16 or 17 years old
and I'm a high school football player.
So the guy, so our GM was the head coach
of the little league team.
Like the little league football team.
So anyone that played for the high school,
like if you wanted a job there,
it would automatically end.
So it was me and all my football buddies
were playing there
or working there. And so we'd get like the best shifts and all that stuff.
Yeah, which was sick. I mean, that's true though.
Damn dude.
What's a good shift?
Yeah, get all the good shifts.
The best job though? The best job.
I got the graveyard.
Because when we started, when I started working there, it was like a new place, dude. It's
like a, it's like a Jose Kinseko Chucky cheese, dude. It was like state of the art at the time. Oh, 100%. And it was new when new place dude it's like a it's like a Jose Kinseko Chuck E. Cheese it was like state-of-the-art at the time and it was new
when I started working there yeah and so it was so busy that they had an overflow
lot in the bottom the best job was every one idiot from my high school and me
he's up top I'm at the bottom we just sat sat with walkie talkies and I would just be like,
is there any parking spots up there?
And he'd be like, nope.
And then be like, all right, there's no parking spots.
You're parking down here.
And that was the job, dude.
Bring me down some nipping dots, dude.
Yeah, it was awesome.
That was my favorite job.
A lot of big wrecks though.
A lot of big wrecks.
A lot of big wrecks.
We had like the loop-de-loop kind of vibe
going down the go-kart track. We had outdoor and indoor go-karts.
So the indoor...
Man, they did it all, dude.
It was sick.
It was sick.
It's RIP.
It's out of business now.
It was cool in its day.
A bit of an archaic business model once video games got in the way.
It was kind of that thing where...
Tony Hawk ruined everything.
Yeah.
And man, the indoor go-karts were electric, outdoor
were gas. Damn. And so the thing that always blew my mind
is, you know, you had to be X tall and like seven or
whatever to drive a go-kart. Well, you'd go and play fast
and loose down there. Seven. But you'd have like the
shrimpy kid come in, right? He's like, you know, I mean, this kid's four.
Uh-huh.
And the parents are like, he's seven.
And I'm like, I'm like, seven's already sketched
for you to be driving.
Well, he is smoking, so I guess I gotta let him through.
There's no way.
So I would ask the best way, because the parents are like,
what do you tell me how old my kid is?
You know, I'm a high school dude.
I don't get paid enough to argue with the 40-year-old guy. To fight a dad, yeah. me how old my kid is? You know, I'm a high school dude. I don't get paid enough to argue with a 40-year-old guy.
To fight a dad, yeah.
A fighting old dude, yeah.
So I would just ask his kid, what year were you born?
And they're like, and I'm like, you're out.
No chance.
Like, if they didn't know,
because the kid knows their birthday.
Uh-huh. Sure.
Even if they're five, they know what year they're born,
but they're not sharp enough to do the math on
what year do I need to be born?
Yeah, they can't add up three years or whatever.
Like, what year did I need to be born? What year did I need to be born?
They could never get that, even if it's like two years old.
So that was always my foolproof method, dude.
I like how you're just schooling six-year-olds.
It was the best.
It's like, dude, they can't even figure this out.
I swear to you.
Idiots, right?
Yeah, it was awesome.
That was awesome.
Kids can't even tie their own shoes.
Okay, what was like a family vacation like growing up?
Oh, we didn't have a lot man
We didn't have a lot Myrtle Beach or which is a dark bags dream. Yeah
It's like trash here Jersey Shore where we are staying out there Myrtle Beach
We stay with family you know we like the any hotel where the doors were outside of course like you pull up to
Yeah, that's a motel
And there was always like I don't know if you guys have them up here,
but like you go to anywhere you go to the beach in the south.
It's like there's all those like super junked out like beach stores. Sure.
Yeah, of course. 70 beach towels for eight dollars. And you're like, again, they're like napkins.
The beach towels like a napkin with a marijuana. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
We got that. Yeah, you have them on the
Eagles whales
wings
Pacific yeah, all the name. It always blew me away that there was never one called Atlantic because we're on the Atlantic
Yeah, they're all called Pacific
Who's never gonna make it to the Pacific Ocean
It was unreal. It's tropical to some guy who's never going to make it to the Pacific Ocean.
100%.
It's like, damn.
But yeah, mostly, I would say mostly Myrtle Beach.
My parents liked to camp.
Okay.
We lived in the mountains, so it was like an easy, no-cost kind of vacation.
Is that like setting up tent camp?
Yeah, like tent camp.
No trail, no camp.
No pop-up camp or nothing.
Yeah, when my parents were younger, they liked to go caving.
They went caving a lot.
What?
Them and their friends. That was kind of like their younger,
maybe pre-kid hobby that barely held on
for a couple years while I was a kid.
What's caving?
You just go sleep in a cave?
No, well, you don't sleep at, you camp,
and then the activity is to go into the cave.
To go into the cave, right, correct.
Jeez, damn.
But they weren't doing,
we're not talking National Geographic. They're not harnessing. They weren't doing like, we're not talking like National Geographic.
They're not like harnessing. They weren't getting stuck somewhere.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Spelunking down into the caves or anything like that.
I'm sure they did that a few times, but not like, it wasn't like, you know, they weren't
like like compressing the cave to get through. Taking deep breaths.
Yeah, no, it wasn't anything like that. No, it wasn't anything like that. You ever go to an area? You ever go to Grandfather
Mountain? Oh, yeah, I went to Appalachian State. So that's like 20
minutes from what's Grandfather Mountain. It's about it's like a fill a fill a
couple city slickers in. Well, yeah, it's a mountain that when viewed, it's
actually a series of peaks, right? But when you come, so if you're coming from
Boone and you see it, so when you're heading,
I would imagine, south from Boone,
when you see the mountain,
and when you get, like I said,
when you get around the other side,
you realize it's like three mountains.
But the way all the peaks go,
it looks like the profile of a man's face.
No shit.
Like looking up at the sky and he has this big beard.
It's pretty wild looking.
Damn. It's worth popping a Google on. You know? Luke like beard. It's pretty wild. It's worth popping a Google.
Luke, throw that picture in right now.
Popping a Google. Yeah, it's worth popping a Google. Yeah.
You're bored and might hit the images.
This guy's a producer too. He does it all. He's out of your
calling shots.
What was the family dinners like? Did you guys eat dinner
together every night? Oh, man, this is gonna be great. My dad actually, for eight years, seven or eight years,
was a vegetarian.
Really?
Whoa.
So that, we lived in Asheville, dude.
This is San Francisco of the East Coast.
Yeah, you're not wrong.
You're not wrong.
You know what I mean?
It's a very eclectic spot to grow up.
And so we did, like, I would, you know, obviously,
me and my mom ate meat and stuff, but usually
dinners were like, veg, like vegetarian.
No, he wasn't like vegan. So we had cheese and stuff, but dude,
that's such a small part of like, I mean, my mom's side of the
thing is all dude, it's deviled eggs, the whole deal, like mac
and cheese. And then one day I remember the day my dad quit
being a vegetarian because I'm almost like fully some burnt ends came out almost like
bullion into like I was eating what age are you this is probably like I was probably 13 yeah
at this time and just had enough I just I was like, putting my fat foot down, dude. I'm assuming a bigger kid.
Oh, yeah, dude.
Oh, gosh, it was in the Husky section.
Because he was jamming up your dinners.
Remember Husky, dude, when that was an acceptable word?
I thought it made me, at first I was like, I'm puff.
Dude, I'm going to be, you're saying I'm lying.
Yeah.
Like I'm playing line.
You're talking about a couple of tough skins right there.
Yeah.
Tough skin jeans.
How you doing?
So I remember going up and we had had made this like steak and my dad was
eating his whatever like lentil loaf or whatever he was eating. It was like I remember just looking around like
god this guy like sad over there. Uh-huh. I was like dad eat a piece of this steak dude. Oh shit. I just straight
up called him out and he was like and he popped a back. Never looked back. Never looked back. Just cruising.
Yeah, definitely didn't stick to his guns on that one.
But man, I applaud him for it because he was jamming up your dinners, too.
He was. That's what your mom was making.
Yeah. And I still managed to say that.
That's a lot of lentils.
I thought it would help.
I really was like, maybe I'll get, you know, I'll get the V going on.
Now, a lot of vegetarians are larger.
I have a lot of friends are like, I'm a vegetarian. I'm get the V going on. Nah, a lot of vegetarians are larger. I have a lot of friends who are like,
I'm a vegetarian.
I'm like, eh, try something else.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Cause that ain't working.
Give something else a rip.
Try carnivore or something, dude.
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What was your mom's specialties?
What were her best?
Uh, meatloaf.
Meatloaf, good meatloaf.
Meatloaf was fire, Devil's eggs were fire.
Wait, how do you say double eggs? Are you talking about like at a party or you mean you were having weekday double eggs?
I mean occasionally. That's crazy dude. Weekday double eggs.
Dude, what do you think my cholesterol is?
Did your mom have the devil's egg dish? The tray?
Oh, we still have it. It still shows up to my house like four or five times a year
and I have to take it back to my mom's house.
Little paprika on top.
Oh yeah, of course.
Good country boy.
Of course.
Let's fucking slap the shit out of you.
I'm sorry for my friend over here.
Deviled eggs is like having,
it's like having a birthday cake on a Wednesday
for no reason.
That's crazy.
That's a lot of eggs.
It is.
Is it regular deviled eggs?
It is, dude. And what were you drinking with dinner? Were
you drinking milk, iced tea, soda kid? Probably, probably
like, like, really like, you know what saccharin is? No.
Yeah, the sweetener? Yeah, like the super cancer sweetener.
Yeah. Yeah, it's like sweet tea, but just made with saccharin.
Ooh. Yeah. So you like sweet and low? Healthy, healthy sweet
tea. Are you a crystal light low healthy, healthy, sweet team. Oh, like it's not a doctor.
Are you a crystal light family? You do crystal light?
Oh, baby.
Yeah.
Love crystal light.
Fresca?
A little Fresca was all right.
You're a Fresca family.
Rip a Fresca.
That's what I will rip a Fresca.
If you were born in 90, that's when you were 12, 13, 14,
that's when Fresca was huge.
I feel like people don't know it's diet.
It is?
Only diet.
I just thought it was a bad sprite.
No, it's almost like a grapefruit soda. I just thought it was. Yeah. It is only diet. I just thought it was a bad sprite. No, it's like it's almost like
a grapefruit soda. I just thought it was. Yeah, it's great. A lot of people are drinking
vodka and frescas. Yeah, it was kind of like back in the day. It was marketed as like a
healthy. Yeah, like it was grapefruit, but it wasn't pink. So they didn't like use food
dye. Man, you are built for this show. Oh, yeah. Coming in, dropping cuts on Fresco.
All the grapefruit.
I know what you're talking about.
Country time lemonade in the two liter.
That pink grapefruit, that would burn your esophagus.
But that was delicious.
Heartburn city.
My whole family had the same thing.
I'm from Charlotte.
You could be my cousin.
It's probably.
I probably am, to be honest.
Yeah, it's probably.
You ever have a vegetarian uncle?
Did you guys keep the butter on the counter? Did you keep it in the fridge?
Uh, man, we were margarine folks. Country crock.
Yeah, we're in it now, gang.
Again, healthy, dude. Sure.
There's a lot of healthy substitutes.
Early 90s, a lot of pivots that weren't in the 80s was butter.
The 90s, that margarine shit came out. Yeah, and ities was bought in the nineties. That margin shit came out. Everybody's
like, that's what we're doing. It's spreadable. What is it?
It's like oil that's like with hydrogenated oil. As a fat kid,
though, it never quite hit the same as butter. It didn't have
that salty flavor. It just didn't do it. Yeah. And you
would slather it on there. Nobody's like, salty flavor. It just didn't do it. Yeah. And
you would slather it on there.
You don't hear anybody like
nobody's like, oh, basted my
steak and margarine. It's like
it's not a thing that people
do. Yeah. You never see on the
recipe. No. Yeah. You want to
have more containers and put
other stuff in there. Oh yeah.
It's like Tupperware. Yeah. Open
up thinking it's butter and
it's like tomato sauce or some
shit. And then it would get
like we had we my parents still have dude. It crazy going to my parents house man because when they moved
They brought all the shit from my childhood dude like all the cups and the containers like they still have them
Yeah, so it's like my mom had this like really thick
Plastic container with this like purple lid on it and you could tell it was like made to like
Freeze stuff in like it was like heavy duty.
Okay.
It's at my house every week, dude.
Yeah, there's something in there.
It's always something that like probably she made
that was like wasn't like my dad didn't like enough
to want to keep in the fridge.
Gotcha.
She was like, hey, I made you guys this.
I'm like, you didn't.
Does she have a dessert that always hits
like a family favorite?
Man, we didn't have a ton of desserts, like at the house.
Ambrosia or anything like that?
We were like an ice cream family.
OK, well, we had dessert.
If we had dessert, we were rocking ice cream.
I was a mint chocolate chip guy.
Cool.
Aristocrat.
Like the grungy green.
Sure.
Yeah.
You ever get it in the big clear tubs?
Yeah.
Like the nine gallon?
No.
At the bottom of the freezer section?
Yeah, it's like a 50 gallon drone.
Yeah, those things are awesome.
That's for birthday parties or two fat guys.
Yeah.
That's what that's for, dude.
Wash down those deviled eggs on a Wednesday.
100%, dude.
Where was, if you were, where would you go out to dinner?
It was like for a birthday or like any, what was like a night out?
Oh, J&S, dude.
If it was a celebration or you just...
What's J&S?
J&S cafeteria, dude.
You know this? Come on, dude. You know J&S? J&S cafeteria, dude.
Come on, dude.
I don't know it.
You know that.
Is that a chain?
Do you K&W?
Oh, yeah.
Same deal.
It's exactly the same.
I love that.
Same thing.
Dude, the South loves initials.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
K&W cafeteria?
K&W, J&S.
So like a buffet type thing?
Early bird till five.
Yeah.
No, dude, it's like an elevated high school lunch room.
So like you go in, you go in and by the further record,
I don't know if it still exists, but it shreds.
I would eat it right now.
If it was in here, it's so good.
But you go in dude, and there's a big,
like it's a line dude, like at a,
you know how they go and corral,
like you heard you through the thing.
They corral you through it.
It's like that and you're going and when you get to the
front like there's literally like the school cafeteria thing of all the food
they have and you get like there's a salad station there's a guy working
they got caught I got a car really carving it up yeah yeah it's sharp like
they'd have like it's put together dude that's got they'd have the cornbread
that was shaped like
a cactus. That's the way you know it had jalapenos in it you know. That's got ranch dressing only
written all over it. Yeah a big slab of pudding on the side of that salad plate. You're grabbing
like desserts on the way out and stuff and then you ring up when you get to the end of the line.
So there's like there's no server. So how do they how do? You, so per whatever items end up on your tray
at the end of the line.
So like a piece of chicken might be $1.50.
What? Yeah, whatever your entree.
They probably weigh you on the way out the door.
And then you get,
what I was thinking I did.
It's like a truck weigh station.
Yeah, it's, yeah it was.
You pull in, and beep beep.
Yeah, like kind of like the scale compresses
is the sound that happens.
No, but they're, I'm sure the J&S is still open in Ashley's house to me. Okay. like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, you know,
like, you know, like, you know,
like, you know, like, you know,
like, you know, like, you know,
like, you know, like, you know,
like, you know, like, you know,
like, you know, like, you know,
like, you know, like, you know,
like, you know, like, you know,
like, you know, like, you know,
like, you know, like, you know,
like, you know, like, you know,
like, you know, like, you know,
like, you know, like, you know,
like, you know, like, you know,
like, you know, like, you know,
like, you know, like, you know,
like, you know, like, you know,
like, you know, like, you know,
like, you know, like, you know,
like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, you know, to be, it's kind of been really drenched in sadness overall. Sure. Two lost Super Bowls were tough.
Yeah, it really has been a dismal.
I didn't mean to break down the vibe.
Really dismal existence.
Panthers, I was a huge Panthers guy.
So I had like, so you gotta think, so I'm 34.
So when I was five, the Panthers became a team.
Yeah.
And I'm living in Charlotte.
That's pretty good.
That's as great, I mean, that's as big as it gets.
RU Garbage met Sam Mills at a Burger King meet and greet.
At a Burger King?
I think he just bumped into him.
You met him at a meet and greet?
Yeah, meet and greet at a Burger King.
Holy cow.
Still have the picture.
No shit.
So my parents were like, we're going to dinner tonight.
I'm like six or seven.
And I'm like, why are we going first off?
They're like, wait till he gets there.
Dude, they had that car up there.
Sleepy thinks he's getting original chicken sandwich.
He's getting that and he's meeting Sam Mills.
Yeah, he fucked up if they didn't get you to say, yeah,
but I remember I was like, why are we driving to a Burger King like halfway
across Charlotte?
There's like eight Burger Kings on the way to where we're going.
So that was that was that. I mean, if you're way to where we're going. So that was awesome.
I mean, if you're going to that,
it was one of the questions
that we've been asking recently.
Who was the most famous person you met growing up?
Would it be him?
It would probably be Sam Mills,
but I met like zero famous people at all.
Like absolutely zilch, dude.
Besides him, really.
That's a pretty good one.
I mean, I've met a bajillion now.
Yeah, no, of course.
Yeah, it's crazy. But as a kid, I mean, due to Burger King meet and greet is wild. I have the picture, really. That's pretty good. I've met a bajillion now. Yeah, no, of course. It's crazy.
But as a kid, I mean, due to Burger King, meet and greet is wild.
I have the picture, man.
I'll send you the picture.
Plus, you got the chicken sandwich over there, which is a home run.
That's where they got rid of the original chair.
We're talking about the original.
It's like when the Cleveland Browns were the Cleveland Browns, before they were whatever
they are now, dude.
You know what I mean?
Did you guys have a fridge in the garage at the house?
No. No? No second fridge?
So we didn't have we had a deep freeze downstairs.
What was in there?
Oh my gosh dude like Asian dumplings.
That was not what I was expecting dude.
Like egg rolls and like just microwave garbage that I like only I would eat.
Because my parents were all healthy but they'd get me instead of hot pockets
They get lean pocket. Yeah, it's gonna lean pocket made a chicken parm. They would blow your hair back
Fuck out of here
Crystal light throw on golden girls. That's clean living. That's all health
Might as well be working out. It's like mo through four of those though, and you're in trouble, you know?
Yeah.
This is the fattest conversation I've ever had, dude.
I think it's gonna get fatter.
I think it's gonna get fatter.
We're just the tip of the belly, dude.
What was your go-to frozen pizza growing up?
Yeah, that's a...
Oh, Totino's, dude.
Totino's.
Party pizza.
That was like what we had in the mix, dude.
Oh.
That was my go-to. That was what we had a lot, honestly.
You ever get a Stouffer's French bread?
That was hoity-tats shit so good, dude.
So good.
I felt like I was in Paris when I was eating that shit.
Oh, I love frozen pizzas, man.
What do you go to now?
My go-to now, man, there's a couple that I really like.
DiGiorno's got that self-rising crust
that ain't nothing to shake us off. Listen, I love a Di. Um there's a couple that I really like.
DiGiorno's got that self rising
cross that ain't nothing to
shake. I'm going to listen. I
love a DiGiorno stuff crust.
I love a stuff crust, man. Will
you do a glass of milk? You
like milk? I I can't sit down
and just drink glass. No kid.
If I'm ripping cookies, I'll
get milk. I love I love milk,
dude. Don't get me wrong. That's
one thing they say about Luke
Combs. He's ripping cookies.
He's ripping cookies. I'm probably going to need some milk. That's for sure. I got three bags of cookies on the bus that I got.
What is it?
What are you going?
Dude, I'm actually, dude, siete ripping a grain-free cookie right now.
All right.
Very good.
Ripping a grain-free cookie.
Respectable.
I'm trying to live longer for my kids.
I hear you, baby.
Yeah.
It's probably more of a lean pockets vibe, to be honest.
But it makes me feel better about eating cookies.
You know what I mean?
Those, they're delicious.
They're good, they are really good, man.
I was shocked, I was shocked.
Okay, what was the first concert you went to?
First concert I went to was Vince Gill's concert.
Okay, yes.
That was 96, I was six years old.
It was at the Charlotte.
Did you go as a fan, or were your parents going,
and like you tagged along?
No, I went as a, my parents,
so my mom and my grandmother took me for my birthday.
Okay. Vince was like my favorite singer. I mean, he's one of the first things that I remember
singing. The first music I remember loving. So my sixth birthday, they surprised me with tickets.
And it was at the Charlotte Knights minor league baseball stadium. Nice. Sick. Did you go to those
games growing up at all? Yeah, we did. Yeah, we hit the minor league games.
At Asheville, we had a single affiliate in Asheville.
Asheville Tourists.
The Tourists?
The Tourists, yep.
They gotta read the work that's in Roth, dude.
That's crazy.
The Tourists.
No one's afraid of the Tourists.
They're gonna be gone tomorrow.
Yeah, they gotta beat up again.
Man, Dollar Beer Night was fun.
He went up for the Asheville window shoppers, everybody.
Yeah, yeah.
Asheville Subarus.
We're from Philly and they had the dollar dog night that they just got rid of, which
is like...
What is it now?
$1.50?
$2?
It's probably like $8.
No, just regular price.
Regular price, yeah.
People were just crushing dogs.
They couldn't keep up.
Too many dogs.
Yeah.
It's a big dog town.
Any standalone hot tubs in the family?
No, no standalone hot tubs.
Okay. You guys have a pool growing up?
No pool. No pool.
No pool.
How old were you when you got your passport?
27, 28?
I got mine at 46, dude.
Don't feel bad.
28?
28.
26.
Where was it, for work?
Yeah, it was for music stuff.
Okay.
To go overseas and play. Huh. Yep. So I probably wouldn't work? Yeah, it was for music stuff. Okay.
To go overseas and play.
Yeah.
So I probably wouldn't have it if I...
It would still not have it.
Yeah, if you were just working...
If I wasn't doing music, I would still not have it.
I didn't get on a plane until I was 25.
No shit.
That's good.
Yeah.
I like it.
And that was for work as well.
Man, you still did be...
Actually, to go to a Panthers game.
First flight was to go to a Panthers game.
And my buddies had to... I was in Raleigh,
I played a show in Raleigh, and I was living in Nashville,
and the Panthers were playing the Titans in Nashville.
And this would have been the first game
since I had moved there where they were playing.
About a year after I moved to town,
and my buddies in Raleigh, my two best friends,
they had to help me get through the airport
because I didn't even know how to like, I'm like, where do you go? Like what I'd never even been in the cockpit
had never been in an airport, never picked someone up from the airport, never dropped
someone off in an airport. I never knew anyone on a plane. Didn't even know what the plane
was like. I was like, you know, showing his ID to everybody. I felt like, you know, when
you're a kid and you like sit in the chair and like your little feet can't hit the ground. That's what I felt like. You're wearing your dad's clothes or something. Yeah. I was like, you know, when you're a kid and you like sit in the chair and like your little feet can't hit the ground. That's what I felt like.
Like you're wearing your dad's clothes or something.
Yeah, I was like, that's what I felt like.
Were you scared at all?
No, I was jacked.
Okay.
You know, because I was like, dude, I'm not poor anymore, dude.
This is awesome, dude.
Meanwhile, you're sitting in the bathroom.
Yeah.
I'm not poor, dude.
I'm not poor anymore, dude.
Yeah, it was so cool.
Southwest, dude.
Big flight, big first flight, you know.
That's really good. Fancy, fancy. Huh, all right. Any collections growing up? Yeah, it was so cool. Southwest dude big flight big first flight, you know
Fancy, huh? All right. Oh any collections growing up a hot wheels
Pretty good though. Still got him still got him. There you go. Still got him. Yeah, I actually had
Had you talking about stuff hanging on the wall? That's how I displayed them, right? So we had my parents bought me kind of these like I guess they were like frames
But they were made to like slide the packs in.
Gotcha.
Oh, you kept them in the box.
Kept them in the box.
I mean, I had a bunch of Hot Wheels that weren't in the box.
But it was funny, me and my dad were, we were at the, I don't know, Kmart or something, dude, you know, Kmart, shout out Kmart.
Shout out to them.
They're still banging a little bit, aren't they?
No, there's one in the keys.
I mean, you know where it is.
That's it?
Yeah, dude. There's one, there's Winn-Dixie in the keys, you know, W is. Yeah, there's there's Winn Dixie in the keys.
You know, Winn Dixie. Yeah, never been.
But we know it's still alive in the keys, though.
Man, still. I used to serve data full restaurant in the back.
Yeah. They have like a diner. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
And so we were at where came our website.
And I'm like, you know, take me to the toys.
I want to look at the toys where my dad was going to give me hot wheels.
And my dad started talking.
There was another like dad in there.
And we're like, oh, what are you doing?
He's like, oh, I'm getting stuff for my kid or whatever.
And they started talking.
And he was talking about, he's like, I'm a big Hot Wheels collector.
We're like, oh, interesting.
And so he told us like how to collect Hot Wheels.
Like he was like, you don't just buy random cars.
Like they come in these sets where they're like,
the New York City garbage truck collection or whatever.
He's like, if you put the whole sets together,
then that's what makes them like worth something.
If you have the whole set and they're all in the pack.
So then that became like me and my dad's thing like when we would go to like stores
together you hunt we would go look for Hot Wheels and try to like put sets
together that's pretty sick that was like how I got into that I was just kind
of like a random like my dad just we ran into this random dude at Walmart or
whatever I feel like that guy just disappeared yeah yeah yeah turned back
into a leaf blower, yeah
any Commemorative plates displayed growing up a lot of magnets on the fridge. I have a song called refrigerator door
That's about all the stuff on our fridge
Yeah, and I did have a I did have a Carolina Panthers inaugural season plate displayed in my room
Had Kerry Collins on it was the walls the, Kevin Green, the whole squad, dude,
the whole squad.
Yeah, so all that stuff.
OK, had all of it.
Anybody in the family sell any jewelry at any time in your life?
No Tupperware, though. Tupperware.
Who was moving Tupperware?
Mom's moving Tupperware for a short time.
Huh. Ever been in a dunk tank?
No, never been in a dunk tank.
Ever been in one of those, the whirlwinds
where the dollar bills go flying around?
We grabbed them.
Oh yeah, in high school, yeah, we had one of those.
Oh shit, how'd you do?
It was like a, you know.
A fundraiser type thing.
If you sold enough chocolate bars,
you could get in the thing.
That chocolate bar's always sucked, dude.
They were never good.
They were like caramelos or something,
like they were garbage, dude.
Never good.
Give me something.
Yeah.
What is your go-to candy bar?
Zero Bar.
Ah.
You know what a Zero Bar is?
Yeah, it's got the different flavors.
It's like a white chocolate Snickers.
Maybe I'm thinking of something different.
You're thinking of something else, dude.
Get some Zero Bars on the horn.
Wow, you just got schooled on candy.
That's a fucking...
That's a first.
That's a first, dude.
Zero Bar is like a shiny silver candy bar with blue and white lettering on it.
OK. Check it out, dude.
If you if you're a listen, dude, if you're rocking with the Snickers, dude,
you would like you'll get it on a zero bar.
Love zero.
Well, you cheer wine guy.
Oh, yeah. North Carolina, dude.
Cheer wines. Yeah.
Cheer wines life.
North Carolina. Sundrop. Oh, yeah.
So no sundrop.
It's it's like poor.
Yeah, no sundrop. Poor mountain yeah, so no sundrop. It's it's like poor
Poor sure yeah, that was it's like a mountain dew and seven up had a baby. Yes, and it's very good It is absolutely delicious in 1996
I was in a hurricane in Wilmington, North Carolina and the only thing I had I was in a closet and all I had was
a three liter of sun drop
And I was in there true story true story
His country song I was in there for three days love that Hurricane Bonnie 1996 nice bad times I'm sorry I was
gonna say what was the first exercise equipment that you had
did you have a bench in the house?
We did, we had a bench.
So my mom was an aerobics instructor.
That was like her second job.
My parents kind of had a little gym.
So like, you know, like a used treadmill.
Someone gave them, like, that was 30 years old.
Those things used to be like 400 pounds, dude.
Any thigh masters or total gyms or anything like that?
No, like bow flex flex nothing going on like that
We had just kind of a standard like like rack
Setup, okay
Nothing, but it was all stuff like my parents had like someone from work gave them
Yeah, something like that were you guys a big as on as seen on TV family nothing
No, we weren't we weren't we didn't fall for the infomercials. Okay, we didn't fall for those some
I feel like you guys were close though.
You're like, it didn't get me.
I was down.
If we would've gotten into that, we wouldn't have survived.
We wouldn't have made it out of that hole, dude.
We wouldn't have made it out of that hole.
What was the mayo situation growing up?
Were you Hellman's or Miracle Whip?
Dukes.
Never a Miracle Whip, right?
If it ain't Dukes, it ain't mayonnaise, baby.
Okay.
Yeah.
Respectable.
Yup. Yup.
Anyone in your family ever represent themselves in court? No. OK. No, definitely not.
Definitely not.
Any anybody in the family ever injured from fireworks?
Anybody losing a finger?
Not that I'm aware of.
I'm sure that some close calls.
I personally had some close.
Some. Do you have any fireworks in your home right now?
No, no, no fireworks.
Yes, yes. Yeah, he's shaking his head. Your boy is shaking his head. I just your whole
team shaking their head. Just July 4th. So yeah, I do. Yeah. Um, hmm. Anyone in your
family ever see a UFO? Oh yeah, I have. Yeah. Really? Really? Yeah. Yeah. No. Where at?
We'll get in with. So it was me. I'll tell the story if you want. Um, I'm a big, get
me the temple hat. I'm in. Oh, I know. know. I'm in dude, I'm in. Welcome to the party. Yeah,
aliens are real, I'm in. No, it was me and my buddy were driving, this one, we were probably,
I don't know man, 16, 17, we're in high school, we're coming down, like he lived more like farther out in in the country than I did
We were closer to town than he was so more kind of too lany like we lived off of you know
sure lived off the main road, but he lived like kind of he was out there like dirt road kind of deal and
We're driving. He had a bronco too. Do you remember those? Yeah?
Man you talk about you like breathe on that thing it would roll over
It was like one step above the Jimmy. Yeah. 100%.
The Jimmy's were brutal. Yeah, dude. My neighbor had a Jimmy.
My mom had a Jimmy for a long time.
And it had the digital dash thing and then it like just didn't work.
So you couldn't even tell what speed you were going at all. Yeah.
I think I had about a half a tank left.
So we're going down. I remember we're like, I remember looking up and I, you know,
we drew in his house a bajillion times,
you know, we're in high school,
pulling out shit and we're going around this corner, man,
there's this kind of this mountain
that's decently close to us.
And I remember saying to him,
I was like, I was like, man,
I don't remember there being a,
like a cell phone to like a cell tower,
like a radio tower right here.
And cause I was looking at it, man,
it was like three lights that were just kind of
right above the mountain.
And he was like kind of looking at it,
he's like, man, I don't remember that either, dude.
And he was like, I don't think that there is, to be honest.
And so we're kind of working around this corner
and all of a sudden the lights in unison like go up like above the mountain
And then we're like, whoa, dude, and then they went into a triangle
And we stopped the car at this point. We're out of the car in the road at night. Jesus
No, there's no street lights like we are like out you're in the road
And we watched these lights go up into a triangle.
And then I swear to the Lord, one of them went
like as fast as it could go and just shot off
like instantaneously.
And there's two left.
One shoots straight up into the sky
like until you can't see it anymore.
And the third one shoots off in the other direction.
Like all different from each other to the point
like his dad was a pastor.
And so we called his parents
and we were like, what is going on?
Like, we're like, y'all have to get over here.
Something is wrong.
Like something, and we were freaked out, man.
And so then we called a couple other buddies
that we knew lived around there.
And I called my buddy Sean,
cause I knew he lived down the road,
and I was like, hey man, did you happen to be outside?
You know, it's like the weekend or whatever.
And I was like, dude, we saw these weird lights.
He was like, dude, I was on my parents' roof.
I'm on my parents' roof right now,
and I saw that from my house.
Oh shit.
And it was crazy, dude.
And I mean, I'll die on the hill, man.
Yeah, yeah, I'd like that.
There's nothing else it could have been.
Like, it wasn't fireworks, like there was no, I mean, I'm sure it's probably you know hillbillies with a weather balloon. Yeah
You're real damn it hanging out on the roof that's what I took for that
right now
Yeah, talk about an incredible witness. Yeah, 100%. Now, sir, you said you were on the roof?
Yes, ma'am.
Yeah.
Can you whistle?
Can you whistle with your fingers?
No, my mom can, though.
OK.
Your mom can.
I've tried to learn many times, and I can't get it.
Are you double-jointed at all?
No.
Soap in the bathroom as a kid.
Was it a bar?
Was it a body wash?
In the shower?
Yeah.
Bar.
Bar?
What are you doing?
Like a cloth or a towel? No, I'm rocking gross. Yeah, just rolled on it. Bar. Bar? What are you doing? Like a cloth?
No, I'm rocking gross.
Yeah, just roll it on.
Irish Spring?
I dry it out real quick.
It's like you rub sandpaper on yourself.
80 grit dude, that shit's bad.
It is dude.
Did you just have a slip-in slide as a kid?
Oh yeah. And then playing the sprinkler.
That was big.
Sprinkler was alright.. Yeah. Any of your
family members ever appear on Antiques Roadshow? No, but we
watched it. Yeah, we watched it every night. That's a dirtbag
lottery ticket. Every night we watched it. Start looking through
the basement. I got a clock just like that. Yeah, I got one.
Yeah. Did your mom call you by your first and middle name?
Oh, yeah, it's like if I was in trouble. Yeah, yeah
Yeah, it was like you that's what you knew you're gonna get it. Oh, yeah. Yeah
Did you get an allowance as a kid? I did how much it five bucks. What'd you have to do?
You know clean my room dishwasher
You know all the who cut the backyard dad dad
Hit the ride more in the back. He made me do the front with the push
That's the classy way to do it smaller lines how many acres were you guys on for you four acres four acres?
And it was but it was a it was real slopey
You know so dad had like he didn't want me on the ride more because he was worried that I was gonna
topple yeah Dad had like he didn't want me on the ride mower because he was worried that I was gonna Apple yeah
Okay, that's a decent moment. There's a lot of moment though. What was the pet situation growing up anything weird any frogs?
We had it we rocked a turtle for a little bit, okay younger. Yeah, we rocked Timmy the turtle Timmy the turtle
Yeah, he got stolen on vacation. By who? I wish I knew bud. I wish I fucking knew.
Wait, was he in the house? Wait, someone broke in the house and took the turtle?
It didn't break in, we left him outside. Where? In like a terrarium deal.
But he was closed up? Closed up. I had a turtle get away too.
Orgling got away. I think a hawk or something swooped him.
What, the top one? No, I was just letting them fucking to hang out in the backyard for like, oh no, this was a little bit. It was like, yeah, it was in close. Someone did take. Maybe the aliens got him.
That's what happened. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right. Any home remedies that stick out as a kid that your mom or dad might have had for you?
Any home remedies that stick out as a kid that your mom or dad might have had for you?
Not that I can remember man, my parents were always fine with you know store as long as it's store brand, dude They're not they're not breaking for they're not good. You get lice as a kid. Jim lice. No lice for me. No
Goodness ever make a potato gun. Yeah. Oh, yeah
Got one on him. It's got one on the bus. I have one at home right now. Get the hell out of here
I have a camouflage potato gun. Made or you bought that? Made. You made that? Yeah
And you how'd you would you spray paint a camera or like just use? No, it's dipped like hydro dipped. No, it's just like even trash here
Dude, that's great. It's even trash. You got a $7,000 potato gun. You hidro-gifted potato gun, dude.
Yeah, dude. Come on, man. Yeah, come on. Why not?
That's the guy who makes a couple of buses, like, you know what, to be sick?
If you couldn't see this thing, dude.
I put this on the Ridgeline, ain't no one seeing it.
Ever been bitten by any wildlife?
Squirrels, raccoons, badgers, anything like that?
No, no.
Have you ever gone noodling?
No, I haven't. I would like to, though.
I would like to go. I would go.
Anyone in your family ever wear Stetson cologne?
Oh, my Uncle Johnny for sure.
Yeah.
You rock any cologne?
I rock cologne, yeah.
What do you like?
I think in the bus I've got Aqua De Geo.
I believe is what I got going on.
Very nice. Yeah. Gentlemen. Not super elevated, you know. Yeah,
Clay, but you know, put together. You can get it in the airport. You know what I mean?
It's like decently nice. You get it on like a, like a ferry somewhere. Sure. Yeah. In the little
ferry store. I like that's how you do it. All your shopping. That's truly how I get all that stuff.
What's the deodorant situation? What do you like to use? Deodorant situation?
I'm allergic to aluminum. Really? That's good. That's bad.
Yeah, it's terrible for us. It like like rashes me out. Okay.
So I usually rock Arm and Hammer Essentials. Okay, just switch to
that. It's good stuff. Gotta reapply a lot. I think. Body I
tried switching in a heatwave last week and they were they
told they're like, dude, you got to go back. Have you tried Blue
Atlas? I'll add that to the back. Have you tried blue atlas?
That's actually a rip. I believe it's out of New York. It's I I've recently got turned on to a buddy my property manager
He had a bunch of like he was trying all kinds of landing on that and landed on that he turned me on to that
And it's it's pretty good. Okay, huh?
It's 13 bucks. Do you put it on before your shirt or after your shirt?
Depends depends. It depends. If I'm out of the shower, I'm going pre shirt and then you put the shirt
But if I've done it with the shirt many times now, do you lift the shirt up? Are you going?
No, you do. I'm too big the neck. Yeah. Yeah, I'm too fat of a guy that
Before the tea. Yeah, I go too fat of a guy that that I put it on before the day. Yeah, I go after and go under. You sleep in your
socks? No, that's psychopath. What are you sleeping in? No,
on these on these jammies on these? Yeah, just on jammies.
No boxers briefs. What do you do? Boxers boxer briefs, boxer
briefs. Are you peeing in the shower? Oh, yeah. Goddamn
American at the end of the day. What I thought this was. What is China? What are we doing? You brush your teeth
in there? No, no electric toothbrush or regular electric
toothbrush, electric toothbrush. Are you flossing every day?
I'm flossing the little flosser. Okay, they make that they make
it easy. They're nice. Yeah, those things are all right. Like
they're an absolute like, like waste nightmare for sure. Oh, yeah, it's not great like plastic waste everywhere. Yeah, those things are all right like they're an absolute like Like waste nightmare for sure. Oh, yeah, it's not great like plastic waste everywhere. Yeah, it's unreal probably
We dance at a wedding
No, never I'll dance with my wife if she wants to dance. Yeah, but if it kicks up your well
It depends it like there's a there's like a no dance and then like six drink
That's when you find a groove.
That's when I'm like, well, it's just really
when all your shame goes away.
Yeah.
Like how bad it's gonna be and like how fat
you're gonna look and stuff doing it.
Yeah.
How many suits do you own?
A lot.
And do you know how to tie a tie?
I do know how to tie a tie.
Okay.
It was a draw.
Cause you look good in a suit.
I have a lot of suits, I have a lot of suits.
You look good.
I'd say I probably own
30 well 30 suits while war chose of course
That's I mean if I didn't do war chose I would own one. Yeah, so for like court appearances and
Yep, I probably own
Seven or eight tuxes. Oh shit. Oh, yes
But again, of course yeah, you have when we got. Swing tucks is all sorts of stuff. But it's again, wardrobe stuff.
When was the first time you had Nutella?
Ooh, probably like college.
Okay.
I would think, and I was like, bro, this is so European, dude.
Like, I'm so cool having this right here.
I just got my pants poured, dude. Let's go.
Hazelnut spread, dude.
Hazelnut spread.
Yeah, dude, I felt like super European.
I gotta say the pleasures of legions after.
I'm watching some football while you might even tell it dude.
You know what I mean?
It's like.
You got the umlaut pretty good on that dude.
Yeah.
Have you had a tick on you in the past 365 days?
Oh, countless.
Really?
Oh yeah.
Eww.
Like every week probably.
Man. That's a lot of ticks. Not like they're not bitten in. Countless really? Oh, yeah. I every like every week probably man
Not like they're not bitten in they're just crawling I actually get back to the house you look and you find them
I have poison ivy right now. I know that
Yeah, one of the questions we ask is if you had poison ivy in the past three hundred
I didn't want to bring it up. I didn't know it was poison ivy.
Yeah, poison ivy.
What are you putting on that?
You do a little calamine lotion?
I got a little calamine on there, blow dryer.
Blow dryer, bro.
Really?
You guys ever had poison ivy?
Yeah, but not, I mean, I've been living in New York
the past 15 years.
Well, go get it.
And go roll around in the park.
Rip a blow dryer on it, dude.
It is unbelievable.
Does it feel good?
Does it dry it out?
Both.
Feels incredible.
It's like if you could itch it as much as you could.
Like if you rub sandpaper on it, that was 1,000 degrees.
Because you know, like when you itch it, it's like.
It activates it.
Well, it's the friction is what makes it.
Like the heat of you rubbing it is what makes it feel good,
right?
So the blow dryer is that, but times 1,000. And you're not actually itching it. Also, itching it is what makes it feel good, right? So the blow dryer is that, but times a thousand.
And you're not actually itching it.
Also itching it doesn't spread it.
Itching it doesn't spread it when it,
when it like oozes stuff out, doesn't spread it.
What spreads it?
The oil from the plant is the only thing
that can give it to you or spread it.
Damn.
Your whole team shaking their head, yeah.
That's true.
You have had poison ivy a lot.
A lot.
Yeah. I'm not contained.
A lot of times.
He's yelling at everybody.
Yeah, look at this dude.
I'm probably hungry right now.
He's blow drying his poison ivy.
That's all right.
I bought a blow dryer for poison ivy before.
That makes sense.
Yeah.
It's if you get poison ivy a lot.
This is my PSA.
Get a blow dryer.
Borrow your wife's blow dryer.
You would think you'd be able to spot it by now.
Yeah, I mean if you're getting it that much,
you think you'd be like.
Poison oak, you want a curling iron.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you want, well you just want an iron.
Sure.
Just melt it right off.
How do you feel about the rotisserie chicken?
Love it.
Okay.
You wanna take down one?
One of God's greatest gifts, dude.
Awesome.
The whole one?
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
That's not enough for me even sometimes.
I'm taking down a whole flock of chickens, dude. On my own.
Okay. We're talking about flavor. Lemon pepper. We're going straight up. Straight up. Straight up.
You guys gotta delve in. Where are you getting lemon peppers?
Ingles, bro. Ingles. Ingles, dude. Come on. At the Kmart down in the Keys.
Yeah, the Kmart in the Keys probably has a fire lemon pepper chicken. Do you still have a DVD collection? No. Okay. They've moved on. Ever taken any karate classes?
Oh yeah. As a kid? Yeah. Yeah. And like a strip mall type place? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's
one probably five minutes from my house right now. A strip mall karate place beside a gas
station. It's amazing. My kid's definitely going there. Yeah, you gotta learn how to do it.
My kid is definitely going there.
All right.
How many pillows you using to sleep with?
One.
Just one behind your head?
One.
Sleeping on your back on your side?
Stomach.
You sleep on your stomach?
Stomach guy.
Really?
Isn't that weird?
With the head out to one direction?
Yeah, it's like, it's probably not great. any fan on you when you're sleeping. Oh, buddy
Looking for NATO wins. I mean it is this far from my head. My wife is like, how do you sleep?
It I haven't been that way my whole life like a stand fan. Well, no, it's on the nightstand
Okay, like a little guy just a little banger right there. But it's a Vornado.
So it's moving.
Yo, that Vornado kicks, dude.
It moves the hair, dude.
I remember the first time I found out what a Vornado was.
It's like a small plane engine.
Yeah.
Is that with the AC cooking too?
Oh, yeah, dude.
Are you kidding me, man?
You know how hot I get when I sleep, dude?
It's unreal.
Any CPAP machine?
No CPAP.
No CPAP.
All right.
Just because I don't know, though.
Gotcha.
Probably I would have one.
I mean, I think. I would have one for sure if I knew.
Yeah. Do you snore? No, no snoring. Wow. Good for you. Do not snore, which is good. Do you guys
fall asleep with the TV on? Yeah. Are you reading anything right now? No. All right. No. And I will not be for some time.
I love them. If we were to go to your house right now and you offered us water, what would it be?
A bottle of water, a glass of water out of the fridge, a Brita?
We got a Brita, but we also got bottles too.
Okay.
Okay.
We got both.
Fancy.
Fancy.
Me tap though.
I'm not above tap.
Not above tap.
I love tap.
Yeah.
Shoes on in the house or shoes off in the house?
Not really either.
Okay.
If I came over, you were going to be like, hey, take your shoes off.
No. When you walk in though, are you kicking them off?
I pop them off, but I think that's just out of habit.
Like I've been in my house a million times.
Like if I'm going in my house to grab something out of my bedroom, I'm not taking my shoes off.
Gotcha.
No.
Okay.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Put your feet on the coffee table?
Yeah, well our coffee table is in Ottoman, so yeah.
Okay.
Which is probably its own version of... It's not classy. I mean, I don't think the Kennedys
are doing it. No, no, definitely not. Definitely not. No. Okay. They're not doing that in the
White House. Sure. There's no Ottoman. When you're home, are you guys eating dinner at
the table or do you guys sometimes eat in the living room? Exclusively living room.
Guys, are you tray? Once we get, no, we're just right on Ottoman.
We're all doggone it.
Yeah, it's, yeah.
You subscribed to any magazines?
No.
Any hot sauce in the living room?
Oh, yeah.
In the living room?
What are you bringing?
I don't keep it in there.
How do you talk about storing it in there?
Is there people that store hot sauce in the living room?
People that just leave it out there.
Just because you're like, hey, I had breakfast with my eggies.
I'm going to come back for lunch, and I'm just going to leave it out there. Because they're like, hey, I had breakfast with my eggies.
I'm going to come back for lunch, and I'm just going to leave it there.
No, no, no, no.
Not doing that.
You can't have the kids getting into that either.
Ketchup in the fridge or not in the fridge?
Ketchup in the fridge.
He's built for the game.
Yeah, it's got to be the fridge.
Ketchup in the fridge.
Maple syrup in the fridge or in the counter?
The fridge.
The real stuff or the fake stuff?
Either.
The fake stuff, I think, is they recommend in the cabinet, I think.
The fake stuff they recommend in the cabinet, the real stuff I found out the hard
way you have to refrigerate after you get food poisoning on that. Dude, I was like,
this tastes funny. And I looked in and there was just sores like nickel size fungus sores
in there. I was like, God damn, jacked me up. What kind of car are you whipping around in
now? My my daily drivers a Ford F250 that's a guy with a couple cars. Yeah
Daily driver daily driver god damn gentlemen. It's an American is that least or own its own
Any truck nuts on it no truck nuts, okay, I did see some at Waffle House yesterday
Sure, I did see some truck. What's your order a Waffle House?
Waffle House, man. It used to be straight up all-star. Okay.
Recently, I'm a hash brown bowl guy. I love their sausage eggs. Lava. You know onions
Double sausage dude pig move double sausage is pig move any hamburger helper in the last year
Pig move double sausages pig move any hamburger helper in the last year
No ever have it growing up was a staple at the house. Yeah, it's delicious stroganoff. What were you rocking? Oh loves trojan
Okay, delicious the beef the cheesy Mac though cheesy Mac is all right with the little squiggly noodles in there Did your family own an electric carving knife? No no no no
Your carving knife I do own an electric fish fish cleaning knife though
Yeah, similarly a similar
Hmm have you ever bought or sold anything on Craigslist or Facebook marketplace no
Okay, never have eBay though your boy stays on eBay sure yeah, I've ever had a hot dog and a hamburger roll
Yep, have you ever had a hamburger on a hot dog roll?
Yes. I have.
He's a goddamn professional. I'll check it out.
I have.
When you're on eBay, are you bidding or are you buying it now?
I'm... I mean...
You want your trash level here, dude?
I'm making an offer.
Wait, what's that, dude?
How much you want for that hat?
Wait, how much would you charge me for that? I don't know think it'd be worth 15 bucks. I'll give you 10 cash
That's what I'm doing on eBay
No shit because you can go on there and see how long something's been on there
So if it's like hey, it's buying out for 20 bucks I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. It's digital cash. But like that's one of my biggest go-tos. Like if you could almost pressure somebody into selling you anything, if you just say
cash a lot.
And do they know it's you?
You know?
And you are a dirtbag.
A salesman.
And they're like, hey.
Hey, I'll Venmo you cash.
150 bucks.
I'll give you 25 cash.
It's the best I can do.
If you say it's the best I can do.
It sounds like you just ran it up to your Management and they were like listen best we can do
A nice face. I'm gonna give you a good deal on it. Yes a 25 that's top dollar for me
There's no way I'm paying any more and do they know it's you. I don't know
No, it's not Gary combs
Who clones who clones yeah, man tar heels 49 is really busted my balls
Yeah, man tar heels 49 is really busted my balls
Guys a stickler Breaking me over the coals my business manager who turned me on to y'all shows the one that turned me on to the make-off
Or no shame on eBay stick stick with him. He knows what he's doing. He's awesome, dude. He's awesome
That's the guy you want running your business
That's about the dollar dude about the bottom
Yeah That is. That guy's about the dollar, dude. About the bottom line. 100%. Yeah.
Alright. Have you ever gone to the bar in order to Mike's Hard Lemonade?
No. I did. I would rip a Zima every once in a while.
When they... Remember when they came back?
Yeah, dude, they came back.
Remember when they came back for like three months?
They tried. It was a... They had a good summer.
And it was like, Zima, put some Jolly Ranchers in the Zima. And it was like, pfft, these are so horrible.
I'll rip a Zima every once in a while.
But you'd have one and you'd be like,
man, this is really cool and nostalgic.
But that's kinda it.
That's it.
It's not good for you.
Yeah.
You know, I'll, I mean, I'll drink a Smirnoff ice on a knee
if I have to.
Sure.
I've gotten iced more, like more recently than I've won a.
Over, under a hundred times being iced in your life
It's probably right there man. I was in college when icing hit
I was the Vegas line for me is a hundred. Yeah, I'm close right in we used to put him in like people's jacket pockets
Big for he went out and you're like, ah fuck you gotta there might be one in this
Nobody yeah, yeah. All right. I mean, Alright, I mean...
Yeah, I mean this is a slam dunk.
What are we talking about?
I'm gonna ask him to join the show.
What do you mean?
Very rarely do you meet someone where I'm like, oh they get the show.
And we talked about it when you
were on Theos and you were like, have you ever
had a casserole and used crackers as a topping?
I was like, what the fuck, dude?
Yeah. What are some of the other ones that you and your boys a casserole and use crackers as a topping. I was like, what the fuck, dude?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What are some of the other ones that you and your boys play?
Oh, I can't wait. Because this was a... We have... This is a shared list.
Love it. And it's being added to... Love it. Because you had such... It's so funny
of you. You had such a understanding of like, it's not even a game, it's just a conversation
starter. It's just to like make fun of your boys.
Do you want to just quick scroll me the list here?
Gee, Jesus.
I mean, that's like four, that's gotta be, that's hundreds.
It's hundreds, yeah.
Let me just rip you guys some here.
Leaving a utensil in the food in the container
in the refrigerator. Jesus Christ.
Yeah.
Like if you caught a cake and then you would show it.
So you leave the knife and then when would show her so you leave the knife
and when you go back there's already a dirty knife and that icing gets hard as shit on that
butter knife too. The fact he had cake already lined up too. Okay let's see what we got okay keeping any reminder of how much alcohol you've
consumed at a sporting event like a stack of cups. Yeah of course. Or like everyone in the crowd's got the big.
The big, the big.
Sure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's a good time though.
That's in front of Festivity.
I got one for you.
Have you ever tried to start the wave at a sporting event?
Ooh.
That's bad.
No, I've never done that.
Especially if you can't get it going
and you're like, come on guys, seriously.
Have you ever accidentally microwaved something
that isn't microwaved? Yeah!
That's one.
And man, you think the house is coming down.
That shit starts sparking real quick.
It's like the rapture dude.
It happens.
It's unreal.
Talk about the one flaw in a perfect device.
Let's see what else we got.
This one, here's a great one.
Just pork rinds.
That's all we got here.
Yeah.
Love them. We have one too. It's all we have here. Love them.
We have one too. It's based on, have you ever been ran over?
Not hit by a car, ran over.
It's very specific.
Oh my gosh.
It's a little bit of intent in it.
In a conversation bragging about sports or academic accomplishments from high school.
Oh man.
Buddy, he's 50 years old. I still hear about the fucking game against fucking.
Let me take you back to the fall of 94.
My dude, let me tell you what we later shell out on those.
The groundhogs had it coming that year.
Elvis was on the radio.
It was good times back then.
The Taurus had a good year that year.
Taurus eating croutons that year. Taurus.
Eating croutons, not at all. We talk about it all the time.
That was a goat.
Figuring that out as a young fat kid.
After school snack.
There was nothing in the cabinet
and I'd be like, I'll try one of these while I'm looking.
And then I'm like.
Oh man, it's like chips.
Yeah dude, shaking them up.
It's like stale bread they've sold you.
A garlic parmesan crouton.
Hey you don't, no salad needed. little yeah baby they're all right just saying hashtag
anything
this is a good one hashtag garbage yeah okay so dispose
disposing of like organic food waste not in a trash can like
just chucking a banana peel on the sidewalk. Cause you're like, it's organic.
Sure, it'll just disintegrate.
That's a tough one.
Have I done it?
Probably.
After a thousand people have walked on it,
disintegrate, dude.
It's not, you can still throw it in the garbage can.
I mean, in the 80s, we were throwing everything
out the window on the highway.
Yeah, the 80s was before the, you know.
Is there any, like investment, like saying your collection is an investment?
Oh, yeah
Be one of the first questions we ever had is you ever collect beanie babies and that was like a lot of people that or
My family was big on the state quarters. Do you remember that when the state quarters changed? Yeah, we had a map and you would
My stepmom thought that was gonna put us through college
Is the Hot Wheels collection worth anything you think?
No. There's no chance. It's not worth a dime, dude.
It's worth less than it was.
That guy at Kmart got you through good.
I'll give you 25 bucks cash.
Yeah, 25 bucks cash.
Right now.
Best I can do. Best I can do.
Having gout.
Dude, we just talked about this. I don't even think the episode's out.
We just talked about this. Yup.'t even think the episode's out. We just talked about this.
Yep.
Anybody in the family got gout?
Nobody in the family's got gout.
I'm your child.
Yeah, I'm going to do my toe was hurting the other day.
Yeah, you're like, oh, let's see.
They had taken the garbage in and out, like with your vehicle
every day, like if you have to take your garbage somewhere
in the vehicle. what do you mean?
Oh, that's trash throwing in a dumpster.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Or like you legally dumping your trash.
That's that's growing up.
We that was be a find a dumpster. Yeah.
Yeah. Like a home depot or something.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
You feel like that was going to be a felony, like the feds.
I've got I've got yelled at with my dad while doing it.
He's like, get out of here. I'm sorry. Have you ever taken anything out of the trash? A couch,
a coffee table big time seat out of the trash. Wait, what? Really dumpster pizzas, baby lived
above a dominoes. Well, that's a little different. I'll give you that. No, it's not. I mean,
also living above a dominoes for a fat guy.
Sweet. Strat you shit though. And a bar.
Yeah. OK.
Attainings line.
Well, he's man.
What time did they close?
They closed at 10.
Well, you 10 on one you were down there.
I was knocking on the door.
He's probably calling, ordering what he wants
and then not picking it up and going down and being like,
you don't have four pies laying around, do you?
Some of that cheesy bread for your boy. Think about it.
So it went that year when I was living there,
they like, you know how Little Caesars
always had the hot and ready.
Yeah.
Right?
Look at who you're talking to.
Yeah, we know.
What is this, Little Caesars?
In Domino's, they came out with their hot and ready
that year.
So it was like their new thing. We've got pizzas ready. Come in and get a pizza, whatever. So 10 o'clock rolls around. They got 15 pizzas that nobody's bought and they're not saving them. And they would take them and just put them in the dumpster and just sit them in there. Well, I figured this out. Popped out. There was a couple times that I got tied enough with the guys.
They just like, yo, just yell out.
I'd be like, hey, I'd come knocking 959.
And they're like, here you go.
Are you knocking on the back door or are you going on the front?
In the front.
OK.
There was no back door.
They're like, shit, Luke's here again.
I'd be like, damn it.
One way in, one way out.
How embarrassing for this guy.
I would hook those guys up with ticks now if they needed them.
Hit them up.
Hit me up.
Dude, if you gave me dumpster pizza,
you got free tics.
No, no, bugs, not pizza.
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Let's see what it's like really loving hibachi.
Dude, that's one of the yeah.
Like if you really like, if you're like, oh,
they're throwing the shrimp.
Will you do hibachi?
I love hibachi? I love about I
Wouldn't say I'm really in the way to insult a big part of my personality. Will you do the shrimp? Will you catch the shrimp? Yeah, if I had to okay, let's throw my way. I'm not gonna like
You know, I'm not like afraid of it, you know, if you miss it though, that's a bad
Yeah, Jesus Christ exotic animals as pets sure like kind of illegal ish sure like
No one's got as long
Glider sugar
Sold those for a long time he had the rice where the guy had the rights in North America for sugar gliders
And he pitched me to invest and I was like dude get that thing the fuck anybody growing up that had like a ham that
Had hamsters or gerbils that sold them
No, not that I know now no no no exotic animal dealing
Where I was I mean I think I've needed all I needed here to render a fucking verdict
Yeah, I mean a hundred percent pure American trash. Yeah, what?
Man I've never been so wrong in my life
Oh man, I've never been so wrong in my life. I love you man, thank you so much.
Oh my gosh dude, thanks for having me.
Talk about like-minded people.
That was a riot.
I felt like I was in the writer's room.
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Luke Holmes.
Thank you so much man.
100% trash, anything else you want the folks out there to know?
You're on the door right now.
Absolutely killing it.
I love you baby.
Thank you brother.
Kipy, what do you got for them? Guys, we're all over the road. If you're trash, I love you, baby. Thank you, brother.
What do you got for him?
Guys, we're all over the road.
Tickets available at RDGarbage.com.
Route 66 Tour coming up.
Get those tickets.
We'll see you out there.
Gang, we love you, and we'll see you next week.
Peace.