Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Mark Normand: Mardi Gras Garbage

Episode Date: April 27, 2020

Our hilarious pal Mark Normand is put to the garbage test. He tells us as about growing up in New Orleans, living in the hood,  his crazy dad, and some real TRASH qualities! You know Mark Normand from Tuesdays with Stories podcast, Joe Rogan podcast, Comedy Central, and Tonight Show. Submit Garbage Questions: [e-mail] RATE. REVIEW. SUBSCRIBE.

welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast this is are you garbage where we sit down with your favorite comedians and find that if they grew up classy or if they grew up trash I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day here in a story of Queens New York City my partner on the other hand ran for the hills at the first sign of the rona he's at an undisclosed location somewhere in

southern Pennsylvania give it up for my good pal hippie Kevin James Ryan everybody what's up guys I feel I've been changed bunkers again I feel like fucking Sid Dom and his last few days I'm not sleeping in the same place twice from a spider hole fuck that happy to be here guys thanks so much for tuning in we appreciate it make sure you rate review subscribe you know on iTunes Spotify YouTube all that full videos up on YouTube we appreciate all the support so far thanks guys very nice we have a very special guest today one of my absolute favorites I know one of Kippy's favorites he's an absolute get I'm gonna

read this rap sheet off to you real quick Kippy all right it's gonna take a couple of minutes because the man has got some fucking credits we'll kick it off with last comic standing Comedy Central half-hour Gotham Comedy live been on the bonfire has his own special on Comedy Central been on inside Amy Schumer roast battle the late show with Stephen Colbert okay the late show with James Corden this week at the Comedy Cellar appeared on the Conan O'Brien show seven times tonight show three times Joe Rogan he's the co-host of Tuesdays with stories he's also been on Horace and Pete the acclaimed show and

not that he shows it off like these other thoughts on Instagram but he's got a tight little body on them coming at you from the West Village in Manhattan ladies and gentlemen mr. Mark fucking Norman everybody hey good to be here well that was quite a sheet quite a resume buddy look at you kids got a motor on them Jesus does fucking homeowner twos guys own place done in the Ville I just want my parents love my dad's a cunt I can't get a hello a text a pat on the back so I don't know I'm striving for something here is that true well you're putting your parents do by the way I get the vibe I know you're

from New Orleans are they they're to learned people right don't they do something intellectual queeps they out they're always got their head in the book and not on their son they're nice people my dad's real estate douche and my mom runs a museum so they're kind of uppity your dad's a real estate guy in New Orleans yeah and you and we talked about this before but you grew up in the house that they filmed Miller's Crossing right the one that Leo the lion owned that's right that's right yeah they let live it on fire and they had to like blow the window out is he jumps out a window and off the balcony and I

remember the whole thing I saw the shoot the Cohen brothers it was wild I was a I was a wee lad so if you've seen this place it's a nice fucking house you know I mean it's it's a nice house in the wounds so I don't mean he's got learned parents he's an accomplished man but the question is is he fucking garbage well if I may sure of course the house was not nice when I lived there and my dad is the most n-word rich guy on the planet we have money baby with a beaver with ripped seats no engine we'd a Lexus with a with bloodstains in it lady died in there Jesus where's the shop in a police auction with the fuck he was an auction

guy yeah oh that's no fucking good if you're an auction guy that's bad news every every piece of furniture had a menstruation on it and a little tear in the fabric and a hornet's nest in the back it was brutal throwing the dead baby for free I always I always want to go to one of those police auctions they would like show it on the TV or whatever we drive by it on the highway my dad was like no fucking way are we going to that thing I would love to do you get a cheap gun or ski mask I know a couple of pit bulls yeah just drug dealers stuff that's the sound of great to a teenager that's like all you ever wanted of course

maybe that cracker jack thing you hit people with a little metal thing oh black light yeah yeah all that shit that'd be amazing yeah they use those in the 20s the blackjack that's a tough guy always pulled that out and over the head with it I know that was always clean that was always scarier than a gun like in the movies if somebody had that baby they really didn't fucking mess around that would cause major brain damage oh yeah did you guys have the we all every high school had the one kid with the old cop car did you guys have that yeah we had one of those do yeah that was kind of me I had a I had an old big-bodied white

Chevy Lumina so it was very cop it was very undercover cop car esque yeah my friend Doug had an old cop car and still had a couple of decals on it because he couldn't get them all off and every time we rolled up to a party who would run it was always a great entrance man that's like out of a high school movie dude that's fucking awesome did it have a spotlight on it because that's a real fucking trash people that had spotlights it didn't work but it was that metal big metal bulbous thing on the side yeah that's fucking garbage yeah that's no go dude and also to so tell us about growing up in New Orleans were you in

the suburbs or were you in the city proper city kid through and through I grew up in Tremay right outside of the French quarter like my neighborhood now has changed because of gentrification and Katrina kind of gave a big enema to the whole city but when I was a kid it was terrifying I mean we did a me and my friend today lemonade stand we must have been six seven years old did a lemonade stand bunch of kids just trash in front of us they just broke the whole thing down they threw the lemonade on the ground they chugged it they smashed the picture it was black kids what are we talking about here yeah oh yeah it was

a black neighborhood it was a poor black neighborhood and we were the white family in a mansion Jesus so that that house you're talking about was in the house of Miller's Crossing was in that neighborhood yes yeah it's an old historic neighborhood but we were we were sitting cucks it was brutal we got robbed constantly and they thought we were rich but we weren't so the joke is on them yeah that's an interesting situation I fucking love that and didn't you guys have from Tuesdays or stories don't you have didn't you guys run like a boarding house or something like that yeah wow you know your homework just we

we made the back half of it it was so big we literally had a back wing and we made that a bed and breakfast because we needed more income just fixing up the house was way more than my parents could afford so they said fuck it let's just use this space we got and there you go it's just like the beginning of a bad novel what the fuck that's why it was a bad novel or a very thin would you say would you say with a good childhood growing up yeah yeah yeah it was okay I mean it was terrifying and I have crazy anxiety like our alarm would go off at four in the morning and you just knew a guy was downstairs it was just Jesus it

was just that weird and you know I can't relax and remember the first week I moved in this kid knocks on the door he was about the same age as me so I'm like hey a new friend here we go how old do you have a Nintendo and I go I did damn right I do get on him here get your ass in here Tyrone let's fucking play some duck hunt baby right like Jamers in the fridge and he goes what games you got and I had some top-line and you know like site bike and Contra and some big ones the good he goes oh well we should trade he had Tetris like Zelda a bunch of boring shit and I never saw him again it was 38 years old

it's a grown man showing up on your boards yeah exactly I bought it hook line and sinker never saw the kid again he got all the good games Jesus let's New Orleans is a bit of a I was there not too long ago maybe like two years ago for a bachelor party that is a day for the first time that is a dicey fucking city man that's like you got to keep your head on a swivel even still I was just like I feel like there's just like vagrants and weird people like all real fucking trashy people walking around that place it's it's terrifying and that was that was 90s and I was late 80s early 90s so it was weird no cameras no

cell phones so like it was a wild west it was a scary place I came to New York and everybody's like watch out it's the big city this was nothing compared to the big yeah I felt that same way from Philly and it's like Philly's a tougher New York's like all pacified now there's I don't I feel safe walking in any neighborhood in Manhattan you know some of Brooklyn are still dicey obviously right right Philly's by block it's like you can like you can make a wrong turn in Center City and be like why are they'll fuck am I a hundred percent yeah and at least New York there's always a guy walking around or there's a lady in

a family walk around in Philly or New Orleans like double yeah for sure did you get into a lot of fights as a kid like did you have to fight a lot down there beat up what a way to put that what a way to answer that there you go even if you win then the friends would jump you like you couldn't it was not a real win win situation Jesus damn you're like Kevin Bacon and footloose or something like that was you had you had it you had a squad though right you had like a crew of friends now my friends lived in the Burbs and they would come in like this how big my house was first of all my brother is like a computer genius because

he never left his bedroom because he was too scared so he just learned how to do it like DOS and all that shit and my friends would come over and my house is so big we would skateboard in the parlor of the house like in the front room we built a little skate park in there we made a skate ramp in the backyard it was just so scary going out there that like we did everything in the house dude who is your fucking dad this yeah that's an insane decision to put it someone to put your family through and where are they from where are your parents from that they decided to move in to this house in Tremay in the warlands well I think my

area my dad's from this little town called Marchville it's like a little just dirt road town in Louisiana in the backwoods and he grew up dirt poor and he had a weird bad childhood I don't want to get into it so I think he was like I'm making something myself I'm moving to New Orleans I'm buying this mansion everybody's gonna love me I'm gonna be a hero and he loves old shit he's like he's part of the preservation society so he's like I'm gonna be the dude who fixes this fucking historic he's the guy's mansion yeah Jesus dude that's a fucking treatment right that's like Goonies or something like that I know

dude I've been trying to sell this thing for 10 years but everybody's such a queef they won't buy it oh that's fucking insane man I've been gay yeah there you go I know do you do you think your garbage that's what I want to know do you think I mean by the looks of you're very well put together you got good style you know what I mean you're doing all right for yourself doing good I definitely there's there's some stories floating around the fucking you know the New York comedy scene that like don't paint not like a bad way but like that you've like taken chicken wings off people's plates recently actually there's

one story that says that apparently you acted like a waiter and we're eating chicken wings and then run up on stage yes that's right well first of all we had no food in my house because my parents were so busy working so I see free food I have to eat it like I've gone into hotels there's a double tree in the in the midtown you get the free cookie I'll just go in and pretend like staying there yeah exactly I got a plaid shirt on the subway map you're like George in that one time felt episode yeah yeah I'm Tyson chicken I'll give you that there's two kinds of people there's people that will eat off other

people's plates and people that won't and I worked as I worked as a waiter for so long I'd be so fucking hungry that it's like if I use the rule that if it was like an older person or a good-looking girl I would always eat whatever that whatever they didn't finish to a degree like if they left a couple of scallops on the plate I'm gonna eat it I'm not gonna finish their hamburger yes right into some of their soup if it's a hot chick I did I look at it it's like if I'll eat this girl's butt I can eat fucking one of her fucking chicken wings or French exactly and the individuals like a chicken nugget a chicken wing a

piece of shrimp all that is game something that hasn't been touched or manhandled for sure I mean you're still rolling the dice now obviously with the corona we realize it's fucking everywhere you're fine I mean think about humans evolved we had to eat shit off the floor we eat berries and poison and rats bucket we're fine we're built for this shit all right let's get into some questions here kippy you want to start it off you want me to hit them you can start off buddy all right a couple of things here we'll just go over mark we gonna ask you a series of questions to determine whether where you line up on

the trash meter or not the first thing I wanted to know is growing up anywhere in your house was there a Garfield a hamburger or a football phone I've always wanted one I always wanted that hamburger phone because you were starving yeah I think it has a two-chicken nugget telephone paid pagers over here right I always wanted one but my parents they wouldn't they wouldn't that that was too fun like that was that's they're not they're cheap they're frugal they're gonna buy a goddamn like something a pan or a frying pan or something something you can use they would never buy that I guess I could have bought it with my own

money but I didn't have any money so that was too fun for the house okay so there was no subscription to sports illustrated in the house no we just no frivolous spending say that's good though because that would be if you would have had that stuff that would you would be garbage okay okay but I'm not garbage because they were cheap yeah so well I mean you're for that question yeah I think you end up might be garbage though but we'll see we'll see um did you guys ever own a chia pet we'd have a chia pet but we had a big mouth bass no that was my next fucking question no way dude yeah geez a big mouth Billy bass

that's fucking trash where was it it was it was just in a pile it wasn't even on the wall even make on the wall is that a pile like of shit you know like you have a junk drawer or something it was in a drawer like that geez it's too good any have you ever had your palm read or is any member of your family a psychic oh no no see I'm in a weird corner here because my parents are intellectual pretentious cunts but like they wouldn't believe all that they're like we're not going to church that's gonna require using the car that's gas we don't believe in anything yeah so they're smart but they're still gross that's that makes

sense yeah no no palm reader that would be too silly that's too dumb and you know it's like saying as a ghost in the house yeah yeah yeah I'm growing up did you have a disc man yes and then did that disc man have anti-skip protection yes clean living buddy an anti-skip protection in the 90s was clean fucking you are a fucking rich kid I thought you know holy shit I had a I had a broken CD player with the top was gone oh yeah it would just spin wow what about you growing up did you have a re a removable shower head could you take it off the wall and like do the back and stuff like that had a little hose on it no no we

moved eventually because we got robbed so much in the new house had it but it just came with the house but this one did not okay remember this is old plumbing here this is old shit we're dealing with this is like 18 whatever all right have you or any family member taken a couch or other piece of furniture from someone else's trash yes yes my couch was a trash couch geez the cows one in your apartment right now no no my bedroom it was a mansion so my bedroom is huge I had a couch in it and it was a trash couch that's tough but as a kid that's like if you as a kid you always look for that shit like I can be about dude I

skated too so I was always like I can make a ramp out of that or a box or a something you know what I mean it was just we're just constantly taking shit to try to make something when I totally totally when I lived in New York the first time before I did a comedy I lived in in Sunnyside and I did that I took a chair off the street and then like two months later people were complaining about bed bugs and then I noticed bed bugs in my apartment and like I started fucking going after the landlord like I'm not paying rent blah blah blah one day I looked underneath this chair I was when I was cleaning my whole apartment

trying to get rid of the bed bugs and there's just a huge fucking bed bug nest under that chair I was the one that brought him and got the whole building zap fucking patient zero over there Jesus Christ did you come clean did you admit it we can't do that lie I would have been liable for like fucking the entire building I fucking rolled I fucking didn't pay the last month rent rolled out of there yeah blame it on the weird European guy down the hall yeah said I was going to rehab or something like that out did I had bed bugs in Bushwick there's nothing worse I've had a I've had everything bed bugs is the

worst thing you look like a nom bed at 3 a.m. you're like yeah you just don't know me and that's like that you telling somebody in New York that you have bed bugs is literally is like saying it's worse than it like nobody dude I would look at anybody differently if you got bed bugs for sure totally you have to throw out every single thing you own everything in the apartment has to go in order to somewhat feel safe and secure yeah I had to move there's nothing worked I've tried an exterminator I try to say on everything that doesn't work Jesus Christ that's fucking brutal alright I got one now I know Kevin does

this and I think this is absolute fucking garbage Mr. Norman did you and your family open Christmas presents on Christmas Eve oh we got one we got one on Christmas Eve one's respectable but you open the rest of them on Christmas morning right yeah Kevin what'd you guys do over at the Ryan house all right I feel like I have to defend myself December 23rd you're open we needed we needed upon it to pay rent no we we do that now because we're older and it's what everybody has their own things going on but as a kid I wasn't like a fucking five-year-old you know digging through wrapping paper at midnight I

thought you guys did it on Christmas Eve because your mom had to work no later on yeah because she worked in a hospital all right he's a hero okay jerk off with some fucking respect go ahead kippy what do you got as a kid did you ever growing up did you wear aqua socks or water shoes oh yeah I did oh man that kid was a fucking mark at the pool that was oh we're swimming as a kid we had big puddles puddles we had some big ass puddles in the neighborhood see if you throw the aqua sock on and you run around in it what about like swimming where would you go you guys didn't have a pool at the mansion did you know we didn't

swim we you didn't swim you just you hopefully got to the beach once that year or your friend had a pool or something but it was no swimming unless you were in a hotel see I figured if you're on the water aren't you aren't you on the water wouldn't you jump into the gulf or something like that that shit is pure poison I mean we just have an oil spill in there the oil cleaned it up it's gross there's crocs and gators and shrimps and oysters yeah that's like swampling your swamp yeah you don't want any marsh yeah it's like going in the fucking East River what are you doing exactly yeah exactly okay um okay I do

my dad I called my buddy ran into my dad at the mall like I don't know eight years ago and he texted me he's like dude I'm at the mall and your dad's wearing aqua socks my dad is such a fucking dork he wore aqua socks in public to the fucking mall Jesus Christ man what are we doing here my dad were a full bathrobe no underwear around the house around the house your dad plays by his own fucking rules and I like no no doubt about it if you were lucky he was wearing no underwear in a skate shirt so he'd have a shirt that said like bird house with no underwear and a robe yeah oh my god and that what did you ever

try to like be like hey you know put some fucking DVDs on I got people coming over now you just got used to it you know you're just like oh dad's crossing his legs look towards the Sun oh my god that's dude I fucking love his dad did your dad yeah we got to get your dad on here holy shit ever have a lava lamp I wanted one bad never had one man I really wanted one yeah what about a beanbag chair everyone a beanbag I had that I had that too all my friends and the verbs had a beanbag I never had one again the beanbag was too fun it was like no one would ever have gone by that it was not a necessity all right I got

one that might be more your speed have you ever played in a car that didn't run of course of course that's tough the neighborhood trash playing family in the car I've done that before all it was like a joke if you go through the Sunroof you got a couple of times you were like ripped the back seat down or you could get into the trunk and then you're like hiding in the trunk that was right I was always a fucking wasp nest every time every trunk had a wasp nest in it for sure for sure those things were pissed off fucking wasp though I don't know why but they were always way more aggressive than regular bees and shit that's true all right as

like a teenager did you ever dye your hair or frost your tips oh well my brother was got oh got a goth computer programmer that's it that's a turn I mean he had black shit on the windows he had a butt cut it was the 90s and I had the butt cut I had one one side was dyed white and the other side was black wow there was probably some parents or teachers afraid of that kid for sure oh black fingernails I mean this is he's older than me so it's pre-columbine but he was he was knocking on that door did he chill out with that as you still walk around busting that look he's a dad now he's got kids oh man that's too funny

was your parents bedroom downstairs was the master bedroom of the house downstairs no downstairs was too scary you would get killed if you live down there you had to be up high in that tree house in the perch I always thought that was garbage when you go to your friend's house or for some reason like from like an addition that they put on the house or just the way the house was laid out that their parents bedroom was on the first floor like what the fuck that was weird oh one more thing about the haircut let me just say this I went to public school and it was I was one of the few white kids so my dad used to

cut my hair that's that's we've asked that before on this that is a dead trash move right there I did it but yeah big trash move but one day hit the phone rang so he walked to get the phone I grabbed the clippers I wanted to fit in with the kids so I shaved lines in my side here boy did I get my ass by your dad of the kids in school the kids in school that my dad every time every time we'd go somewhere you go I didn't do that by the way your dad's selling you out in front of the squad that's great all day long look at his shoes he's like shitting on him like a black team my mom my mom used to cut my hair like as we

wanted I wanted to be same thing I wanted to be cool you know I wanted some sort of design so she did she put a number one in the back of my head man that did not that did not look good or was received well in the in the cul-de-sac no sir no sir and I remember I walked into school in this black kid goes oh he tried to be bad oh dude that's heart-wrenching you don't play any sports or anything like that my high school did you no no I wanted to get in and out but I skateboarded we skateboarded all day every day all day on the weekends nothing organized I did karate as a kid but that didn't last that worked out for you not

good still got his help doesn't hold up in the street I can tell you that yeah I'm scared of people that know like jiu-jitsu and stuff like that but if someone's like I know karate get the fuck out of your head come on go back to school will you um alright I got one that was always my family didn't do it but when I remember going over my buddy's house and seeing it did your parents keep the batteries in the refrigerator that is a bad move man you're trying to get the every little ounce you can out of those keep some going though we kept ours in the freezer buddy yeah throw that in the flashlight you got a couple

of beats spend a couple of bucks go by go buy a new set of door sales what are we doing that's a myth by the way I don't think that's real give that a go that ain't real it doesn't work no that's a myth just a little wise tail here's one thing I don't know if you're gonna get to this I don't want to jump your your all means my mom was obsessed with garage sales obsessed like on Saturday outing was she would circle them all the ones near us in the newspaper and we go to every one it took like eight hours what was she looking for anything specific household items yeah anything she could use anything would help out

around the house maybe a gift or you know a fucking piece of jewelry and then she was a coupon skank big coupon haul man yeah that's tough coupons I get cuz it's like there's a month there's a value to it there's a monetary you know an immediate monetary value to it but moms used to not fuck around with those my mom would hold the girl to the coals if they said oh this one's not valid what are you talking to you would fucking lose it yes yes and you got a line three feet deep behind you here at the win Dixie everybody hates you yeah wait was that the name of your grocery store the win Dixie yeah southern that is

some southern shit right there that was the grocery store in sling blade I think yeah it was right next to it was right next to the double deuce that's where John Ritter was John Ritter was great in sling blade by the way I don't think you guys both oh yeah I see did you ever own a snake or a lizard no no again too fun we had a dog we had a dog named shadow and it died by playing in a in a ants ants drive by oh an ant pile Jesus what do you mean play the empire they swarmed it he died your child it is insane dude this is like a Coen brothers movie this is fucking wait a minute what were they fire ants I

guess but he was playing in that pile they all swarmed him and they just bit him all at once and he'd they bit so many times he died went into shock or something yeah you hear about that did you witness this no I saw that the carcass and it was bear baby it was rough but yeah I didn't see the actual death I feel bad following up with this but did you ever own a CB radio I did yeah radar detector all my friends at radar I had a CB that didn't work you know it's really trashy my my stepdad had one of those in his pickup truck too but what's really trashy is a police scanner if you got a fucking police we

had that man my grand my grandfather my dad would sit there and listen to the police scanner to find out what's going on like they were fucking Batman and Robin I love a real trashy I still wouldn't listen to a police scanner that's good stuff yeah you guys do the citizen app no what's that oh dude get it on your iPhone it tells you all the crime in New York I don't know if I want to know that is there anything that yeah freaks you out a little bit or no it's terrifying me and the gal we sit on our couch going hey two blocks away is a rape how about that geez that's great yeah now I don't know if I want that

information all the time yeah it's the new police scanner basically did your mom have a your mom have a clothesline where she hung clothes on no no no she did that right on the back of a chair oh my god was she in college what the fuck right next to the mini fridge yeah okay have you ever used the chili cheese machine at a 7-eleven oh no again we we had bodega they didn't have that shit we had like shitty corner store with the Korean guy and everything was behind glass bullet proof you had to spin that little lazy Susan to get your snickers bar yeah there was no cheese machine there was no icy machine there was no fun no nothing

self-serve Jesus the jailhouse rules yeah I picture you growing up like you know all American kids suburbs fucking Bart Simpson skateboarding slurpee in your hand Skittles it's more like M&M for me what's that it's more like M&M for me mile yeah yeah brutal okay I got another have you ever worn pants that zip into shorts no I had those as a teenager yeah cuz you skateboard and you get hot oh man they they came out they thought they were the coolest they were they see they were cool for like an hour and a half but then they fell real quick my more cargo yeah dude this is how my stepdad went to Jamaica he was on

the plane wearing khakis and then well the plan before the plane lay the plane landed he went to the bathroom and came back in shorts and my mom was like what the fuck is this fucking ready for the beach yeah what are you talking about this guy's ready to party ripped his sleeves off ready to go hang 10 right I'm scared to ask this question but I want to know it's it's cool now because I see parents doing it now it's very acceptable and like the whole family will dress alike but when we were kids it was always weird did your parents when you went trick-or-treating ever dress up for Halloween ooh no I

wish I wish that would be cool I always thought that was weird and like you'd see like somebody's dad in the 80s in the early 90s wearing like an off-brand Superman costume like what the fuck is this guy doing yeah that is a little that's a little weird I guess but I don't know there's something kind of cool about your dad dressing up as Batman and you're Robin yeah that's pretty cool I'd be pretty cool I feel bad for Norman well I mean if my dad dressed up I know he gave a shit that'd be nice Jesus I'm joking I know I know I know do my dad and the other dads would just sit in his Jeep and just like follow us you

know by like a block just drink beers yeah it would just sit in the car and be like oh you guys go and they were just slamming six there's a Mikolov all night like that's pretty good yeah that's and I was I remember as a kid being like I want to be that dad I want to be like just like drinking and driving hanging out with the boys you know would they take a big out of your Reese's cups when you got in the car yeah they would they would they would be a beak yeah take a skim all right you got one foley I got one ever have Sherbert as a family growing up with Sherbert an option big Sherbert family and we'd all

eat out of the carton when everyone had their own spoon that thing went in 10 seconds did you guys drink out of the milk carton too was that a thing my dad did he called it a midnight snack it was 4 p.m. your dad your dad plays it fast and loose and I fucking like it that is what you're telling me you're telling me as dessert your mom would throw a container of sherbert on the table you'd each have a spoon and just go at it yeah briars to and also it had that icy shit at the top they had to scoop that off yeah there is something kind of like nice and wholesome about a family all you know sharing one tub of

sherbert though like savages what are you talking about my family would never do that like and we're not as that close but that's at least shows a level of closeness you know what I mean yeah there you go look at it that way it's pretty good I know but seeing your dad in a robe with no underwear eating sherbert of a carton that's a rough visual that is a tough look man yikes oh shit you know what I did a garbage thing this week I would run out of shampoo so it's like we're all like I had to like add water to like get some extra legs out of it easy one but you forget about it for a couple of days too because you only

think about the shit you need in the shower when you're in the shower you know right that's up there with a cut in the toothpaste tube oh I've never done that that's you get a little swirl of the toothbrush in there yeah we had a little roller that fit on the end of the toothpaste and we had the fucking crank every fucking dropout before my mom would go to the store and get another one and they were this is when they were metal when the toothpaste containers are made of metal oh that's right things you feel like a fucking iron worker when it got to the end of it like a tin-knocker yeah wow tin-knocker that's

a good name for a gay I like it all right I just got a couple more yeah you are yeah me too I think you I mean a lot of these I think you're you know the zero fun kind of answered you know in the household yeah different different colored ketchup ever like purple ketchup and green ketchup he's not yeah what do you mean the fucking the scorpions are killing the dog in the backyard yeah like you monge in that house yeah that was up there with the hamburger phone and board games was your mom was your mom a good cook like she thinks she is but she wasn't she was pretty rough and it was it was a bummer we've lied to her

since today what was a typical dinner like what was like would you guys all sit down and have dinner together most times growing up yeah it was a lot of whatever's in the fridge like it was like all right we got a half a chicken carcass we got zucchini and we got pasta sauce so it's something like that wow what about milk with dinner was that a thing when you were a kid we did you have milk with dinner was that garbage no we had we had powdered milk yeah my dad used to use orange juice for the cereal because you want to use the milk this is insane dude I love it man oh man all right were you a big league chew

or a bubble tape kind of guy oh I wanted to be a big league chew guy but I was really more of a bubble tape I know for you not them yeah I wanted to I wanted to be a big I wanted to have big league chew confidence I just never really could pull it off I'm like whatever you open up the bag you wanted people to see you know I wanted people to be like is that kid chewing tobacco over there you know you're like packing a big hook in there I was a feeling I was a big league chew guy and we used to look at bubble tape kids as like the Kennedys kids that got bubble tape that was because you had the because you had a little container that

you could like put shit in it later on you always kept the container big leg chew was fucking gar we look at we're eating fucking chewing tobacco what parent in their right mind would say yeah here go for this that's how I felt about lunchables I'm in I'm in the the school cafeteria with a garbage bag jar I can imagine what you got sent with to give me a jar for chocolate milk and I had to bring the jar home so I'm walking around all day with a glass jar dude that's I were used to refuse to take a prop my mom would try to send me with like the insulated lunch bag or the box yeah and I'm like nah paper I'm not

bringing this bag every day give me a paper bag that I can toss the ultimate one was you know the newspaper it would come in that little slim bag oh my mom would use that for lunch I'd have the daily news on my on my sourdough and plus they could see in sometime if it was a clear bag they could see what you had like a banana like an orange slice or whatever they they saw your wacky your wacky lunch I know I don't want ads on my my sandwich there was a garage the garage sales for that week what would the jar be that's what I wanted to ask you I don't mean to cut you off but what would the jar be was it would that be

like a mayonnaise jar yeah it was a mayonnaise I was like a ball jar like a glass jar with the metal top holy shit and what you put in there like super stuff no it was always chocolate milk oh chocolate milk jeez it's like to kill a mockingbird man this is fucking hardcore shit also another basic one that I mean you grew up like suburban ish or a big house did you have a second fridge in the house either a garage or basement that's living that's a good one and I had a lot of friends with that but again no food so no need for a second yeah jeez you're not gonna have an empty second fridge man I do love a good

second fridge you open it up you sometimes like I've had my brother's place now but like you open it up and there's just like it looks like it's MTV Cribs it's just like a line with red Gatorade purple Gatorade it's great that's a big thing with us the second fridge is always higher scale of food it's always like tostido fucking pizza rolls and all that shit yeah we talk about the garage fridge all the time we're big garage fridge kids well did you have a frozen pizza grown up like what you're going even now like what's your go-to frozen pizza back then it was Totino's or whatever the hell that one

is and and one time I couldn't get the oven to work so I heated it on a lamp but some of these stories could be from prison he's making hooch in that in the toilet and stuff Shawshank Norman over here now wait till I tell you about the things I fucked in the dog I got the last question on my side did did you or any man of your member of your family at any time on the anti car theft detect a defense system known as the club they kind of had to at this point I get it they should have put it on the front door yeah we had a club and the high-end people had a viper remember the viper yeah it would beat that you go like

engaged or whatever yes that was hot shit that those things now did those things work I feel like they didn't prevent anybody's car from getting taken now I think it was for the sticker you got this it was almost like the thing in the front lawn that told you I'm in shielding yeah yes one's gonna break in if they see the sticker right moving yeah that's it that's great man keep it you got anything else now that's it let's leave on the club in the club in the viper baby buddy hardcore look at you now though buddy you fucking West Village apartment you're a fucking homeowner you're fucking one of the biggest

comics out there fucking killing it again it takes those beginnings to get to this sure absolutely this is still fucked so you know they went in the end it's good day yeah Marcus or anything you want the gang to know that they might not already know coming up down the line anything other than two days of stories yeah Tuesdays with stories my podcast with Joe List I think former guest yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah he's trash oh buddy there was some things that list was like a hard no and then some things he was just like was like the fucking the dumpster and throw him in I can tell you some lists that I don't

know if he got there first way is a pool table in his living room furniture there's no furniture just a pool table that's tough that is tough the first thing you see when you walk into his house is somebody painted like script on his wall like hey if you're gonna have a glass of wine don't come wine in here without some cheese or some shit like that some trashy Irish proverb or something yes exactly anybody that has live laugh love somewhere in their house that's fucking garbage yeah garbage garbage but yeah listen my pot I got a special on YouTube coming out in May 12th and yeah check my website Mark Norman comedy

com for road dates would we ever get back out of this fucking corona jizz and yeah I hear some promising things that it's open some clubs are opening up some somebody was tweeting that like my agent hit me up they you know the clubs are starting to kind of open the doors a little bit I don't know good thank God you froze hard sorry sorry sorry all right we'll cut it in post guys make sure you check out are you garbage anywhere you guys get podcast follow us on on YouTube great review subscribe all that good jazz you know yeah Mark thank you so much buddy we really appreciate you coming in sitting down with us thank

you that was fun thanks for having me toodles see my brother take care