Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Mike Recine: Door to Door Scumbag

Episode Date: December 24, 2020

Kippy & Foley are back with a fun one featuring comedian & podcaster Mike Recine. Mike talks about wearing hand me down suits, being Italian, and selling stuff door to door. Thanks for the support. En...joy! Bonus Episodes: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage T-Shirts: www.PodcastMerch.com Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast come on this is are you garbage the show we sit down with your favorite comedians and finally group classy or if absolute trash I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful Saturday afternoon down here into these basement holiday season in bloom she's got the tree up it smells like cookies my co-host yeah coming at you from right next to
Starting point is 00:00:41 me my good pal my best pal in the world he cooks the books he keeps us honest give it up for Kippy Kevin James Ryan everybody hey gang what's up everybody happy to be here thanks for tuning in as always please make sure you rate review subscribe on itunes full video available on YouTube and then how we pay to Bill's baby patreon.com slash are you garbage you can get bonus episodes every week and get multiple episodes every week we're doing a live stream with the with the with the fans you can sign up for all that it's a good time also t-shirts at podcast merch.com gang do us a favor real quick let's tip our hat to our
Starting point is 00:01:16 producer extraordinaire T-Bone magic man mr. T-Bone Toby McMullin everybody Toby love you pal just in time for the holidays gang we have an incredibly special guest here with us today we are so excited to have him you guys requested him you wanted him so bad we finally got him here he is a very funny stand-up comedian actor and podcaster as an actor you've seen him in girls or roommates as a comedian you've seen him on just for laughs all-access Gotham comedy live Jeff Ross roast battle Conan in his own comedy central half hour and he is of course the host of the sit-down with Mike Rezine but the big
Starting point is 00:01:52 question everybody's mind today is he garbage well he fucking stiffed this twice but we got him here ladies and gentlemen give me a big round of applause for the one the only Mike Racine yeah I can't tell if he loves me or hates me what do you mean you see it's strong silent type and the stashes even more intimidating when you took your mask off you like a gunfighter with that thing I like it thanks well welcome to Foleyville that's all he's worried about there's only a few and you're one of them that like you know that really that really stick in your brain and everybody I have gotten that but I do get that a
Starting point is 00:02:35 lot yeah you're intimidating guy yeah I don't understand I don't know I can't fight I know but you're stowing yes you're not like I got one ball what do you want from the fuck don't ruin it for me come on my penis never gets hard you're just a quiet you're quieter you know what I mean you're not like most comics come into a green room and are like look at you know begging for attention you just come in and you're like you're scoping out the scene you played in the like a sniper yeah you got a lot of people worried for scenes lying in the bushes standing by the door yeah keep you on your toes well I can make sure I
Starting point is 00:03:17 want to make sure if I open my mouth so you know I got some fun I want to have a good batting average there you go that's good that's very old school if I can't even funny to say I just shut it's why he's quiet most of the time folks let me ask you this do you I know a little bit about you I'm not a hundred sure I have a general idea sure I don't think your garbage do you think your garbage I don't know probably I probably was at a certain point in my life and I think as I'm getting older I've tried not to be I think I kind of missed out on a whole there's a big like a big there's a part of your life where you learn like
Starting point is 00:03:51 you know morality and integrity yeah and I think I learned that a little later in life I don't know because I feel like I moved I moved to the city to do comedy very young and moved here when I was like 20 from Jersey right Jersey kid yeah so I had like two years of I had two years of college under my belt dropped out of college I said I want college Montclair State okay same one that I think Carmela Soprano dropped out New Jersey State School yeah yeah when she's threatening someone to get a better recommendation yeah you're gonna get my kid a very relation to Montclair State yeah that's an
Starting point is 00:04:30 impression that I think I can do but I don't ever have I don't know Carmela yeah I feel like it only do the Verrazano Bridge Tony yeah there's times where I think uh that Gandolfini gave the best performance on that show sometimes I think I'll go June then every once in a while I'll catch a scene with her and you just be like god damn she fucking kills she was very good she's very understated too you know when they get a divorce and she had they have that big fight and she's screaming I'm losing my mind oh I get choked up every time yeah because you could have played that character cartoony you know yeah yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:05:01 but she was very understated but you got the yeah you wonder so you picked up on the vibes for sure yeah it's good stuff tell us the backstory then since we're going down there yeah all right so I was like so I went to college or two years in Jersey I was working at a um a marketing uh company a window and siding marketing buddy I did the same thing you did were you power who were you working for uh home fix okay one of the questions I've asked is have you ever sold anything door to door over the phone oh yeah you go sign them up try to sign them up for estimates and then sit them down and do the hard clothes so
Starting point is 00:05:30 you go into the house you go into the living room and close no you don't close you don't you send a closer in you're an appointment center you're a canvasser you go to hey listen I noticed your fucking gutter's hanging off how about I get a you know what's gonna take yeah I'm going to take some big dick to lock it down some real scumbag they send like a they send a real scumbag yeah who comes in he's got like you're just like the junior scumbag exactly dude kid you're not ready for this dude go wait in the car I they would always be like this isn't going to be a high pressure thing I'm like no
Starting point is 00:05:55 not at all you know we had the best prices then some little scumbag comes in and goes yeah it's going to be uh 75 grand for the new roof in walks jimmy valvally put the screws to your wife it's always can you sign today they want to know if both decision makers are going to be there and can you sign today decision I don't want to say any I don't want to trash any because I just set the appointments for the sales guys sure but I know that there were some companies that would do a thing where they go hey I'm the director of marketing for this company what we want to do is we want to have your house
Starting point is 00:06:25 be a model home we're gonna we're gonna give you a 30 40 percent discount um to have your home we're gonna hand out flyers we're gonna you know blah blah and uh they would think they're getting a discount but they're actually getting a way over charge so theoretically not that you did but you could pretend you were anybody on the other end of that phone technically what do you mean he was going door to door I was going door to door yeah we're looking for a property in this neighborhood to make you know to set up to be the example I'm just like a little I'm just a college kid
Starting point is 00:06:53 yeah you got a clipboard a couple of flyers for it yeah and they go I just want an estimate you go yeah it's good for a whole year a free estimate good for you and they go and then they show up they send some guy to your house some scumbag some fucking dirtball who works for like three different companies I just want an estimate no problem he's selling cars he's selling siding that dude's selling everything yeah yeah yeah yeah and but it was it was a fine it was a nice little taste but it was a nice little introduction to because I remember one time like there was a
Starting point is 00:07:20 there's this guy Nick who was like the canvassing manager because he he did sales I was the canvassing manager you were yeah yeah yeah I had a degree not bragging not right he's a drive he's a drive a minivan and around with a bunch of delinquents can you drop him off in a neighborhood you are middle management at his dirtbag company I didn't know that and I remember my scumbag family being like so proud of me oh oh you're making so much money selling those windows and like I'm just I'm just knocking making like 30 bucks like how many people today I'll tell you what the one I think back on it what I feel really bad about is that sometimes you would go to a neighborhood that was like
Starting point is 00:07:57 a suburb that was mostly like people of color okay black people and they would always they would really they would sign up for the free estimate you know what I mean black people and also like Indian people yeah would want the free estimate they wouldn't buy anything and then the sales guys would be like the sales guys don't send me to some yeah sales guys would get very opinionated on the names uh yeah but if you if you ever went to like a like a like I think maybe white like white people are we maybe we do have a little evil gene in us or something because you go to these like black suburb or there's like you know affluent black people they trust you you know right and but so yeah and they sign up and they don't always they sometimes they buy sometimes they don't I
Starting point is 00:08:42 think suburban white people the more ones just say yes to it though like people of color but not get the fuck suburban white people no suburban white people like no I think suburban white people like get out of my apartment do you have a permit yeah I'm gonna call the cops you know they know the fucking chief of police and their shitty town that yeah you know do you have permits for this also do you permits for this oh yeah I've been ran out by the cops for sure yeah you gotta call all the canvassers and be like hey I'll meet at the front entrance and we gotta get back because fuck I didn't know you're supposed to get a canvassing permit but it's like they don't give them out ever no you're in a new town every night so it's easier to just go get the cops called on you maybe they bring it
Starting point is 00:09:20 down to the station to rough you up a bit yeah yeah yeah how long did you do this uh in college so like my first two years of college end of high school first two years of college now when you say this was your first run in as far as like morality how was it growing up was it you never saw anything like that um what your parents do if you don't mind me well my so my dad works I guess he does like commercial lending at a bank he's just like a white collar guy smart guy um yeah guess yeah uh seems like he's got some opinions on his dad um but I do remember they have a weird like morality thing they do have this weird thing they're very into morals and I remember when when Bill Clinton got a blowjob it was like they were really upset really they're really really upset
Starting point is 00:10:02 that he'd like disgrace this country huh all for the top of the beach yeah Christ yeah your parents are not like me yeah but they don't have a problem with Trump you know paying off porn stars or anything so okay I don't know it's very weird yeah I don't know how many brothers and sisters you have growing up I have three younger siblings so I have two younger brothers and a younger sister how how much further uh we're all two years apart oh really yeah so you were big brother Mike yeah and what did your mom do she uh she stayed home and then when I went when I uh was in high school she went back and she uh worked as a sub and now she's she's still a sub she's sub at your high school no but she's subbed it like uh she's subbed it like uh so my brother is special needs
Starting point is 00:10:45 he has autism okay so she's subbed at his school nice um yeah so she so so the school had two wings and one was like uh kids with disabilities okay and the other was called b-wing it was like all behavioral kids from like the inner cities it got kicked out of their high schools and got sent over there so she would sub at that school too and I remember like the first day she yeah she came home she was like uh like a like a cop you know like a cop put her bat yeah put her gun on the counter yeah yeah yeah and just like had to go to therapy a thousand miles stare but then she ended up I guess liking it because she still works there so I guess she ended up kind of like winning some of those kids over and learning how to deal with them and you know it's like every movie yeah you know
Starting point is 00:11:26 she taught him how to she she was like teach him how to dance yeah she taught him Shakespeare by she's like Shakespeare was kind of like Jay-Z when you think about it they won a national competition yeah yeah yeah doing a movie about it with Sandy Bullock she coached their step team or something but she kind of did that did she stay did she not work growing up to take care of your brother or was it more initially yeah well when we were younger yeah she didn't work and then when I was in high school my sister was in middle school she went back to work she just likes to work I got you so I'm seeing that you know that your dad was making enough cash to support everybody so it must have been pretty nice I guess initially he was yeah single family home uh in the beginning
Starting point is 00:12:03 yeah so she just stayed at home mom so that was cool she was like a room mother you know she got really into yeah she was like a great mom got really into Halloween and stuff oh that's nice you know yeah wait when you say in the beginning when was there a turn and what happened when I was in high school she went back to work I don't know why I think she just wanted to work because the kids were but she started still in the same house okay yeah you made it sound like something happened and they were like in the one bedroom apartment somewhere oh no okay no there enough yeah she was good at hiding her mental illness too I think this guy's this guy's like a big Italian onion you think it's over you think you're crying she gives you the stare at that yeah no I don't know
Starting point is 00:12:47 she told me one time she's like you know one time you had to go to your grandparents house because I wanted to drive the tree the car the car into a tree I do I think about that all the time it's like well you did a good job of not not doing no but the cupcakes were on point I'll tell you that yeah yeah yeah wait when was this I don't know probably like when I was in like middle school I guess now did you were you aware this at the time when it happened did you find out about it no okay but we I think we went through different phases with my brother just because him being special needs okay you know you go through like the phase where you know he's two and he's going to therapy he just starts therapy and it's like tough you know and then he gets and then he gets
Starting point is 00:13:24 older and then he's a teenager there's trying times every couple of years every couple of years different periods that you're on and they're like fuck we gotta you know figure this out yeah so that was where in honor um yeah probably yeah and your pop um I guess hit I know he just worked a lot okay he just worked a lot and made money off the Iraq war there's a lot on this tree by real yeah and then we gotta come from a little bit of money a little bit of money there um I guess I mean yeah we're not like I guess we're pretty middle class I wouldn't say like all my family was poor or anything all right but uh did you get a car when you were in high school I paid for it myself I paid I've got a 96 yeah but maybe you couldn't want the old man to get one
Starting point is 00:14:08 probably yeah because they got my I think they got my brother one or he got my he got my great grandmother Subaru yeah the special needs one he's not killing it they got him a uh got him a bumper car they got him a bumper car yeah um no but I remember my mom like throughout me being a teenager they're making it a big deal like oh yeah you want to like you want to get your own you want to pay for your own car yeah you don't want to be the kind of person whose parents buy you a car so they put that stuff into you see that's where we're going so yeah yeah you're coming from a little bit of class um good work yeah I guess yeah yeah definitely good work that's the vibe I guess and what was the car it was a 96 Saturn remember the Saturn yeah the two door
Starting point is 00:14:48 yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah what you got that had no no four door oh it was nice it was uh 2003 it's still pretty good and I remember pay I paid for I paid cash for the car with my own money because I was working at a grocery store when I was in school I worked at a grocery store tough too what's that I worked at a grocery store too that is tough yeah it's either high school kids or fucking fellows or career yeah career workers but uh I think grocery store cashier was the worst job I've ever had to this day yeah that's tough it's fucking tough it's every six minutes you're dealing with just someone else and then like I remember the one time this guy was arguing over like the price of fucking rice aroni was coming up yeah yeah yeah 15 cents more or something
Starting point is 00:15:28 like that and I'm like there's it was like Thanksgiving there's a line of fucking 500 people you're in the weeds you've been working for nine hours uh I think he's and I remember he it was like 25 cents off yeah and I just reached in my pocket and I took a quarter yeah I just said here man I got it yeah yeah and that was not the answer he was looking for dude every every manager that's nice manager fucking regional manager I had like but I was in a union so they couldn't fire me nice yeah so I worked at Wegmans so like Wegmans is like a good Wegmans is very nice yeah that's the top of the line it doesn't get better in a suburban grocery store than Wegmans for sure who'd you know they got you in there I think I just I just like wanted to what because
Starting point is 00:16:10 they open when I was like 14 when I was in eighth grade in our town that's a real good thing and I was like I'm gonna I'm gonna work here someday I'm gonna work here yeah ride buying your bikes yeah yeah yeah they all called me stupid but one day because I because I liked food I was like so impressed with Wegmans fantastic it's a great 14 that's you could drive a car down those aisles too yeah yeah yeah so I started off doing like bagging and then and then they put me on register register register sucked I mean do you remember what the code for bananas is for 4011 my man everybody remembers that forever yeah is it 4011 for you too yeah it's I mean it's most of the country is four zero zero four zero universal code for bananas how about scallions oh scallions
Starting point is 00:16:54 I want to say four zero eight eight I think it's four zero six eight okay yes I think you're right four zero eight eight I think it's red vine tomatoes if I or four four six four six six four it's red red tomatoes yeah T.O.V.'s baby you got a couple of cashiers over here what's uh what's three zero zero one one your weight fucking door fucking loud one up like that doing code so that's what they always been in is they're fucking in your brain yeah for a reason to rock breaking rocks or something like that well I was some learned people he's a smart guy yeah yeah yeah no it's weird because my family is like middle and I'm surprised that I'm like kind of a dirtbag because my I could have been I could have done more with my life you know what you're doing all right
Starting point is 00:17:39 don't sell yourself short you know what I'm saying like I always I feel like I always like wanted to be like blue collar like I was maybe like cosplaying or something yeah because I remember not really I expected my dad because he wasn't blue collar what was the rest of his family like or what was like your aunts and uncles were they all white collar blue collar what was it yeah so my grandparents owned a restaurant in jersey that's what it is yeah so then yeah so like um but then my mom it my mom's parents were like factory workers so there's it my family there's a very like blue collar mentality even though we're like you appreciate the art of a of a hard day of work yeah yeah it's definitely I think that's how you make a I think that's how you make a trump
Starting point is 00:18:18 supporter because you just you don't realize that you have it kind of good and you act you think you're aggrieved yeah you know you think you have it worse well that's what like I quarantined in wildwood new jersey and it's all fucking trump supported like cut up car like cutouts of them like life size flags everywhere so I think it's because it's all it's all construction workers from Philadelphia yeah we're able to like they weren't born into much yeah but we're able to like get enough money yeah to start like a handyman thing and then we're able to buy a and you feel like a vacation home so they're like I was able to fuck it's like this and you feel like because you did that you're so smart because you learn how to drill holes into a wall you're like a
Starting point is 00:18:55 fucking genius not out the local 690 you know what I mean yeah so I was always impressed those guys are pretty cool no I was impressed too I remember like my mom would always be very impressed but but like I always thought the guys that came to our house to do work were like cool yeah they were the guys yeah I like kind of had I like respected them I got that I've always gotten that from you yeah so how'd you how'd you go from there to ripping off housewives for because he's like white kid doesn't get his hands dirty but he wants to be in the industry you know what I mean yeah I was the same way my whole family's construction work like everybody's all local you know they're all steamfitters fucking plumbers carpenters and I felt the same way when I got the
Starting point is 00:19:35 white collar I was in the marketing department yeah yeah construction company yeah and I remember like a sense of pride like well at least I work for construction I'm not you know what I mean I'm not working at like fucking strawberries or pennies or something like that you know what I mean like it's a construction family I do like sales though like I really have a respect for for people who can sell and I think that like I don't know I mean now that I'm doing you know since the pandemic I've been doing some more like moving something like freelance moving stuff so I'm setting up so people contact me when they're moving and then it's like a lot of that is like sales you know to make sure they pick you and not somebody else you gotta like you gotta wine and dine them a
Starting point is 00:20:12 little bit you wine and dine but you make that you you want to make them feel like they're spending your money like then spending their money on you is worth it like they're like they're happy to give you money you want to make them go like oh I want to pay you and not somebody else yeah you want yeah because you want them to have an emotional connection to you to be like oh at least he's getting it yeah I want to give it to somebody I'd rather give it to that rather give it to him yeah does that give you a little peek into uh humanity when you see people how they are when they're moving and stuff like that about how they that's gotta be the that's such a tough job in New York I'd imagine if you got stiffed on a tip you wouldn't be happy about it no but I don't that doesn't
Starting point is 00:20:45 really happen to me I'm good dude I just I love the confidence I'm good you cock suckers uh I haven't felt this confident walks I've been spending so much time around my wife she keeps you unconfident well yeah but usually I like build the tip into the job as soon as I do okay you give yourself a little cushion in case you do get but like to some people act like jerkoffs and stuff like that after years well not really not really because you're like you're helping them out right it's not like if you're a fucking grocery store cashier that they don't respect you're like handling four one one two stop it lady uh but dude moving into New York is like this underworld of these rules that I didn't I've never I just got to move like last month or two months ago and I
Starting point is 00:21:29 hit up our buddy ravello peter ravello because I'm like I don't like they start hitting you with how many this you got how many say like all these fucking questions that I'm like I don't know this fucking world so he walked me through it I'm like how much the tip well how many hours it's going to take he's like what they're going to do is they're going to quote you hey you know it's this for two hours he's like we're going to take them six hours and they're going to hit you over the head with it you know okay there's a lot of like there's a lot of that a little shy sting in the movie there's some shy sting yeah so that's why I feel like that's why when I quote a job I he's a dirty dirty people you know they are no hidden no hidden seas receive come on down to
Starting point is 00:22:03 Mike's move yeah yeah well what would be what would be an expected gratuity for for a to move a two bedroom I mean usually it's like 20% of the job split between the crew so it would have to it would just depend on what you know what I mean like what what I'm moving and how big the thing is but lately I've been doing gratuity included which I think people like a prefix I like it yeah and then I have to think party of six yeah when I when I move friends and stuff that's what I do I'm just like this is boring no for a second it wasn't but then we got there yeah New York City movie I know all this I got my own truck that's the thing yeah yeah yeah you gotta get the quilted blankets those things those things are nice yeah you show up with those
Starting point is 00:22:55 this guy knows what he's doing dude they showed up it was like three fucking Eastern European guys and one Chinese guy who spoke like nine different language two there was four guys four guys all different languages and the one Chinese guy spoke every language oh dude and they were just putting fucking couches on each other's heads and walking down the fucking four-story walk-up they emptied my apartment in like 14 minutes I hate I give you credit man I can't I hate stairs I hate moving the worst I hate it too but you know it's good key when you're done and you get yeah you get paid get a handful of cash yeah it's nice yeah that wouldn't get still you just gotta be reasonable you just gotta pace yourself it's like drug dealer money you're like I can make it all back
Starting point is 00:23:34 tomorrow when you when you're making cash like that weekly it's like oh well this doesn't really exist it's coming again tomorrow you have to earn a check every two weeks that fucking stinks yeah I'm gonna the first time my first job at the construction company I paid every two weeks I was like yo what the fuck yeah I'm used to the cashier job every Friday yeah yeah I worked at Got Junk for a little bit and that was like the only corporate job I've had in the city but I think that was like every week or every two weeks that sometimes they would like they would like short your check and mess up and you know because there are guys that would write down their hours and everything and their profit share and yeah yeah and you just like and then they take
Starting point is 00:24:09 like 30 out for taxes yeah you know I like I like what I'm paying now it's zero no I have to I'm gonna file I'm gonna file who the fuck is the IRS what's this fucking bull well no but it's funny because when you get paid in like cash and Venmo you're like okay do I claim I'm obviously going to claim the Venmo you know but I just want to find a nice I need a little I need a nice scumbag account are you asking us I don't know I'll take a look at your books yeah I don't know we're gonna have the same problem now that we have money rolling in yeah it's like I don't know what I'm gonna do Kevin Ryan Enterprises this is about to fucking take a big loss yeah you guys ever tried to cash have you ever like gotten paid by a check and asked if they could give you cash
Starting point is 00:24:51 or tried to cash the check there like have them cash it for you if they want to pay with a check you should let them pay with a check I know but in my confirmation email it says cash I go I meant any job you guys have you guys like your boss hands you a check you say can you cash this yeah I don't even know if they can do that legally they're not a bank I've been in that type of situation I've cashed mine a bunch at the supermarket the supermarket will cash payroll yeah it's like a check cashing place remind me to pay for groceries with a check I mean everybody did it she still did what I'm gonna check yeah so embarrassed so why you get the fuck out of there why is that embarrassing because it bounced every time the overall doesn't how to bounce a book yeah yeah yeah can you hold
Starting point is 00:25:31 this for a couple of days fixing you know I gotta move some things around when he looks at the checkbook he's like oh that's the thing that makes the cops show up at the grocery store I'll start moving the carts I guess yeah yeah yeah all right let's play a little fucking are you garbage let's get into it let's talk about Mike Racine the man as he is now we have a little bit of a picture painted um let's see if he's garbage I think he came from probably pretty good stock and now you're probably more garbage than you were growing up I think um yeah maybe I don't know we'll get into it let's go into the house now the more the more I the more I think about my family the more I go oh some of you are like scumbags you just have the veneer like the veneer
Starting point is 00:26:11 of respectability but I think my dad has on some of the members of his family I think my father might be like an actual scumbag because because he'll talk about what kind of cars he drive that's what matters he drives the Honda Accord old school so it's like uh like a 2010 Honda Accord a bunch of papers and shit all thrown in there no it's pretty clean but my parents are pretty good at like saving and stuff like they're bit they're big into so I think that's I think that kind of makes it work because like you don't even experience any joy you're just you're just the mentality of accumulating money yeah not spending really enjoying it not really enjoying it damn you know my dad doesn't have any hobbies or anything somebody's saying that he's got a really
Starting point is 00:26:53 I don't have any hobbies either what the fuck's a hobby I have some hobbies you have a hobby you cook a lot you cook a lot yeah a hobby or you're just cooking that's a hobby it's a hobby I guess yeah if you like how I'm gonna do this I get really into food and stuff made a pie for Thanksgiving you know what kind that's a hobby what do you do what are you doing fucking chips in a bottle hobbies we don't hear any hobbies I like documentaries yeah movies are it's a hobby video games is a hobby no but yeah I mean I'm not out there like fucking playing soccer or anything running pickup games no collected stamps fucking trying to get this thing off the ground all right let's go into the house now all right you are married uh married recently married right
Starting point is 00:27:39 last couple years two months ago two months ago last couple of years yeah shit I didn't know congratulations thanks congratulations thanks open bar what was the pandemic yeah of course but where'd you get married though in some way rented so we had like a little 20 person wedding nice in bushwick okay where we live rented a townhouse had a friend my friend Nick Whitmer who's a comic yeah he catered the wedding he's a great cook it looks like he's seen things about Nick Whitmer's fucking cooking looks pretty fantastic I know I I'm a little like uh I get a little what's the word like jealous a little jealous because the guy's good yeah the guy's good um if you need to hire somebody to cater something oh great you should hire keep it in the keep it in
Starting point is 00:28:20 the comedy fam keep it in the comedy fam okay dude he he knocked it out of the park um so yeah a little 20 person wedding her sister officiated we had parents siblings and friends and then we did a couple friends I did something very similar it's awesome and then people send money and nobody gets offended about not being invited he I didn't invite him to mine he got very upset yeah and now I'm pissed about years to be honest Nick Whitmer behind the fucking ones and twos well he was there to work I guess I guess you could have catered it he's been hanging out at the bus station you guys want chips in these sandwiches what do people call you they call you just H I don't know Henry and Foley yeah whatever what do you call me I try not to yeah uh yeah Foley it's interesting that
Starting point is 00:29:08 you're you know you're just an initial yeah I'm just a okay I'm just saying it's nobody else does it am I on trial here what's going on it's like you're an author or something but it's you're an author from the 1800s W Foley yeah yeah yeah yeah secretly racist like you know running under a pen name yeah you write a bunch of monster stories that's actually about Jews all right brush your teeth in the shower sometimes interesting yeah why is that make you garbage people would say I do it really it's trashy is it that's what they say yeah why is it trashy germs germs it's just disgusting do you keep all right well do you keep the toothbrush in there
Starting point is 00:29:56 yeah I have a little catty catty that closes yeah no not like a travel yeah that's gross because like your wife's in there showering and there's washing off dirt and sweat into the you know when you're fucking then because you're putting that in your mouth this is what they say right but like yeah I don't have nine out of ten dentist agree with me by the way I think the grossest thing is when people use the you know the travel toothpaste or the travel toothbrush thing when they have that just around all the time that always builds up toothpaste you need your teeth your toothbrush in a covered thing but see the thing is I don't say I'm saying they're gross uh-huh because they're always undercapped they're never kept nice they're always sure sure I don't really get sick that often
Starting point is 00:30:34 though so I feel like it's good to have a little you know some germs and germs in you there you know I'll tell you this I had mice in my apartment for a little while and uh what floor what floor do you live on first kept them for a year all right yeah yeah yeah they like uh got me they made my breakfast in the morning yeah would you teach them yeah but uh every once in a while like I'll I'll turn a corner or something they're all open a closet and that and now I'm moving so I'm you know my whole house yeah and uh I'll just find you know a pile of my shit mousetrapings yeah so then it's so then it's like you have to clean it up then you did disinfect the area that they they were shitting in it's tough first floor in New York is like you're gonna
Starting point is 00:31:15 fucking hat might you're gonna have them in New York they're gonna cut the thing that is they're gonna they're gonna walk by it's just if they stop or not but about roaches your roaches I think everybody in New York yeah roaches yeah okay but do you have them on me my other my old apartment we did we had a couple running around yeah we had to keep the light on I didn't like it yeah you turn that light on they start running away yeah scary well you gotta get I don't know figure something out but I caught a few and I caught two on the glue trap and two in a snap trap yeah just the mice glue trap yeah when they're on the glue trap they're alive uh-huh so I don't know what to do you you have to kill them humanely yeah I think you drowned them right that's what I think
Starting point is 00:31:56 yeah yeah you put them in a bucket and it's funny because that is not humanely you smoosh them one shot smoosh them with what but apparently that's you fold it you fold it over and then you smoosh them real quick I've done that before and apparently that's like I don't know it makes it's it's not humane yeah I did I think the web's like the website is drowning them how is drowning the most humane thing you're torturing them for a couple of minutes now they're dying how big do you think well it's fine because when you drown them because that's what I did I drown them yeah where's this going Mike stop yeah I guess if you brush your teeth you're talking about killing mice well it's funny because you take the trap let me demonstrate you take the trap and they're stuck on the
Starting point is 00:32:38 glue trap and they're moving around they're screaming right dunk it in the water and the trap is like going like this in the bucket of water and then it just stops moving it's a fucking death rattle now I guess that's more now apparently that's more humane than just no because blunt force trauma is like bad it hurts I don't know you're like caving their skull in with your boot they have to not feel it it happens so you would think but I don't think so you're waterboarding them a little bit I am pulling back up who sent you cocksack yeah I did well of course yeah yeah yeah are you the one who do you work for tell me now I think put some bags I don't want to talk tough guy Michael we got a tough guy here today your wife's having a little bubble
Starting point is 00:33:24 smoke and a cigarette in the corner she's like the mastermind yeah Michael I don't trust them but it's funny because then when you pull them out they're dead but their body is soaked it's like soaking wet so it's like it's like similar to you know the world's world's kid drowns yeah I enjoy not fun for the kids it's like they're it's they're wet they're not just you know yeah it's a little disturbing but then I would imagine but I think you just got to get used to it well you gotta get you gotta get used to the death rattle of the neighborhood take care of it if you're preparing to be an assassin what floor is your new apartment in or your four uh fine above three you're fine hold on walk up and you got an elevator
Starting point is 00:34:08 coming in hot that's patreon.com slash the sit down everybody I like it did you say was a condo too yeah like two floors uh well no we're like renting a condo from a family okay from an Italian family I got you yeah all right we'll leave it there yeah all right uh banana was real but now I'm dealing with like a condo board and stuff oh which is weird because I don't know if we're the only renters in the building but everybody you know it's like did you have to go through the process of whether they found whether they they had to prove us you had to play all your garbage with them a little bit yeah Mike shows up in his fucking court suit hello I own a transport company I'm an importing and exporting uh people who belong in from their apartment no I definitely
Starting point is 00:34:51 don't just throw garbage into a u-haul and take it to the dump Mike's I've never even had yeah gratuity is not included of course um that but do you ever that brings me uh do you have a suit that fits you now yes you have like if you had to go I got married just got married before that before that did you or no yes but it was a uh hand me down from a friend of mine a friend yeah because I don't why does there's sentimental value first of all let's start let's start here what who's the designer of the suit is it a real suit my suit currently yes a j crew suit that's what was handed down no it was like a designer suit the guy's like a lawyer okay yeah and uh oh this is a different suit not the j crew suit this is well he got the suit before that
Starting point is 00:35:35 right because that he got from a friend because I was like I don't I only wore a suit like twice a year so I how did it come up for you like hey do you have any suits I could have I said you want to sell me one of your suits oh that's trashy dude you're buying used clothes off your of your rich and then and then I showed up at his house and you know he's like he's got a lot of cash on I show show me the good stuff you got any mice be drowning yeah and I yeah yeah did you really walked into his closet and start perusing you might would you mind killing of we have some pigeons in the attic if you wouldn't mind murdering them we got a squirrel in the wall do you have your hammer on you yeah that is that is the fundamental if like if I ever wrote like a crime
Starting point is 00:36:15 movie about crime it would be because that's kind of the relationship between like the ownership and the and the and labor labor does all the dirty work sure so it would be from the perspective of the guy who does the dirty work sure like who's like uh you know not the boss yeah like lefty he'd be like lefty and yeah I guess yeah the reason I asked him what kind of designer suit is if it's it is like a designer if it's really special yeah but that is I can't see that something you give it a friend but I showed up did you give did you pay for it or did he give it to you no he gave it to me but I said I didn't say I mean I don't know what's where are you guys the exact same size we're pretty much almost the same size did you have to get a tailor at all uh no I don't
Starting point is 00:36:53 think so wow he doesn't seem like the tailored kind of guy if he's like he's fucking getting a hand-me-down suit I don't think he cares how fucking how the pants drop but to get my foot in the door I said you want to sell me what is there a suit you want to sell me I put it in the drawer I'll go back to selling the windows yeah yeah hey listen you know I don't have to buy a suit I'm just gonna come over and take a look at a suit yeah are the decision makers of the home here God that's so fucking funny yeah can I get I need both owners to be here so you got all right so we just ended up giving what were you what were you I can't even what were you prepared to pay for a suit off of your buddy hundred bucks get a suit for a hundred bucks go
Starting point is 00:37:32 to H&M yeah but if you were if you're only wearing it once a year but I had a feeling that he was going to be like no just take it because he's like a guy who you know owns a lot of suits you know he went to his house yeah he's not a degenerate yeah he's not degenerates I went to his house he's probably like some scumbag corporate lawyer sure but what pretenses did you did or what pretenses did you show up at the house that just hang out no I texted him I said I have a wedding and go I go to you have any old suits you want to sell me because I knew he had like nice stuff you're okay with that yeah no specific purpose it's not like he he's in his 30s the man's got a mustache if you need a suit if you have a lead not 12 but his buddy has nice yeah but I don't say
Starting point is 00:38:09 if it's a nice you know who the mall has nice suits Joseph a bank has it could be a fucking Versace or something that was actually I got my designer he doesn't care he clearly doesn't care about the suit I remember the first suit that I ever got was from Joseph a banks it was for my 10th grade and it was purple it was purple yeah it was burgundy really the barbie collection no it was it was like a black suit that I needed and my dad took me to Joseph a banks to get a suit and I remember like SNL did a sketch a couple years ago where they were like it was like a mom and she was like when my my family makes a big mess and when I need to clean it up I use a suit from Joseph a bank and I remember being like so offended and like fuck fuck you hey listen lady
Starting point is 00:38:48 that's not what you make fun of okay yeah yeah Joseph a bank is shitty suits I disagree I think they make a quality product yeah but if you only wear a suit like it's fun to wear a cheap suit yeah sure you know or like you're a lounge singer yeah fly me to the moon uh yeah I mean that's why that's wildly insane I mean I can see if you were like really poor but like a suit at why would I pay for something I wear like twice a year though because you're an adult no but then you get the suit and then you have to get a shirt get it from his buddy what's the matter with you that's try he gave me a whole set he gave me ties yeah like you're a toddler that's what you that's what you do to like that's you do to like your little cousin you know like yeah I don't it's not that I
Starting point is 00:39:29 don't have the money to buy it it's just I can't justify I can't justify I understand you don't have the money the fact that you're going to have a nice couch I sit on it every day did he give you shoes too huh yeah of course he did oh my god couple of ones for tipping people in the pocket here's a couple of ones easy a little bit of walking around cash now I see I I can't articulate it but what I'm saying is other than going under our false pretenses if you just ask to borrow the suit that's a different thing especially if it's a real nice suit if your buddy makes good I offered to give it back to him he said no take it oh my god I don't know how this is how much did you resell it for uh yeah it's on facebook marketplace yeah yeah I get addicted I get addicted to selling my
Starting point is 00:40:12 friend's clothing yeah that's great that's no but I think he was like happy I think he was like happy to give it to me yeah he probably makes too much money anyway yeah he's doing well your boys you know I'm just saying literally I go to like two weddings a year I wear a suit so do I and a suit a suit will cost you a hundred and eighteen bucks a brand new suit from h&m from in I mean a lot of like a shitty one yeah but if it's shitty you're only wearing a twice a year it doesn't matter what's it okay let's start here what's a nice suit to you the microcine right right now you can go get a suit where you're gonna go well I know I mean it would be like a designer suit but like a j crew suit is like a perfectly acceptable sure how much was it how much was that that was probably
Starting point is 00:40:54 like 600 for everything but with shoes and everything like that pretty good 600 is a lot I ain't paying no 600 for no I'm not saying I don't have 600 dollars I'm saying guys I do all right better things to spend my money on of course yeah how much were you gonna give the friend he didn't say he said a hundred give him like a hundred bucks yeah but he was like no don't I'm not I don't I never wear it and we're the exactly the same size I'm giving you this what you're you you wear your dad's suit that's why yeah because I love him it's the only now they're already all worn into plus it keeps candy in the pockets I had to do that once I'm in flow I'm not currently in the market for a suit I'll tell you that right now and when I my first job in the city I was the doorman
Starting point is 00:41:39 at carolines and I had to wear a suit every night for that and I bought this suit from men's warehouse that like didn't fit me it was too big oh man it was like this giant suit with big baggy pants yeah I don't know why you hear your confirmation so it's like it's such a crap shoe buying a suit you don't know if it fits you right so you just like you know I don't want that to happen again I had this like big boxy gray suit I know I used to work at Macy's I used to have to wear a suit every day it was the same thing I wore like my dad's hand it was like a double breasted I had like the fucking big shoulders yeah yeah yeah I look like a fucking idiot okay you're salesman from Microsoft just the idea but the idea of like you could even go to the to a thrift store and get a
Starting point is 00:42:19 night get a decent suit sure and then you take a picture in it like you're an immigrant you know like you're an immigrant from the 1930s like a proud and you make no money but you're just a proud trying to have your dignity got one of those old suitcases you know yeah leaning on a barrel because you have two fat because you have two families you're like a dust bowl farmer oh man all right have you ever worn pants that zip into shorts uh probably but not in a while okay but I do like I don't know no I don't uh yeah I mean okay that's a no it's fine oh I know what you're talking about like the cargo the cargo but yeah they're like zip into shorts I don't think I ever have okay yeah okay you rocked jean shorts yeah still yeah I will or when
Starting point is 00:43:10 jeans get old when jeans get old I make them into shorts that's that's old school name that's that's that's like 1980s Italian right there that's like an old school Guido shit do you have your own car not anymore you what was last time you had it uh like two months ago I got rid of it okay did you wash your car yourself uh no okay I could say I had a I thought that about you you look like you wash your own car I don't have like a hose in space yeah do it in the city you got like the bucket and shit that's a mess I didn't think that's true jean was like she's only doing it on like fucking 7th avenue you're like where do you live yeah you're washing your car I just pictured him out there in like jean shorts with the radio on Deborah start a sauce
Starting point is 00:43:58 okay how much cash do you have on your right now yeah probably like 46 dollars I would say okay but that's in the wheelhouse yeah but sometimes up to like 300 really coming off a job yeah or just in your pocket yeah uh it's not in my pocket well that'll be like if you're leaving you'll take from the house 300 yeah is it 20s or is it hundos what are you what are we talking here Mike um both yeah I like to keep the cash in my drawer and that way if my wife needs cash she can just go to my drawer that's a real man thing and I feel that with my wife and I have no money she has fucking way more money than go to the drawer but I'll be like is there any cash in the house I'm like there's 50 here like whatever I'm like yeah there's
Starting point is 00:44:41 cash I love being able to say it's it's also nice to hide cash all over the house oh yeah it's garbage yeah it's a garbage I love it it is fun though but you don't want to deposit it because you don't want you know if you get paid in cash you don't want to deposit it I saw this episode of Judge Judy one time that made me so pissed this guy was like this guy was like yeah because the guy had a conflict with like a family friend because the family friend cosigned on a truck and he was the guy was like yeah I'm a tattoo artist and I do other freelance stuff so I mostly get paid in cash so I don't have credit and Judge Judy was like oh she's like so you don't have to lie to me she's like you you say you're a cash guy so you're not a tax guy and it's like yeah I bet you
Starting point is 00:45:23 pay every fucking dollar that you owe you you scumbag she probably has a lawyer charges like 700 bucks an hour yeah just to find all the loopholes yeah it's dirt pulling so many levels you yelling at the TV yeah probably do the same thing you fucking fuck you yeah yeah yeah okay Judy okay leave that man alone you fucking skank it's hard work in vain if you go out to dinner are you paying cash I do like when you go out no because I could double the points on my jet blue credit card so at a restaurant or grocery I try to use the credit card like a double I get double the points so I can fly to fucking Fort Lauderdale or West Palm Beach for a nice little vacation I have like a hundred thousand jet blue points where can you go with that I don't know
Starting point is 00:46:08 but it would have to be like allocated in a divorce I think my jet blue points where can you go well jet blue is weird because they fly domestically and like to the Caribbean but they don't fly they don't fly anywhere yeah like like international do you think that if you got if you got the worst tomorrow do you honestly think that the jet blue points would be would come up for him it wouldn't have the worst procedure I would try to get that all right hold on it's under you it's your card I would probably just use them yeah it's my card I just buy a bunch of tickets what is spiteful son of a bitch you don't even know she's coming after you don't even get to go to San Juan Deborah yeah I'm going to Albuquerque three times huh what's up yeah yeah yeah that's funny
Starting point is 00:46:49 that's trash yeah yeah I'm going to Charleston South Carolina you fucking bitch they got a hub there just gonna sit in the airport have a sandwich yeah then I'm coming right yeah I'm going to Charlotte I don't know why I picked jet blue for my credit card but I did I did fly them up I would like to use up the points and get a different airline but you get two times the points at restaurants and grocery stores dude I've hit my I've hit my credit limit as far as like how far I can go it's only 200 bucks we know it's 500 but I don't think I can get a card that has like something to where I earn points because I got an offer from capital one for like some silver streak or something yeah that does earn points and then I filled it out just like I filled out the other
Starting point is 00:47:34 one yeah when I filled out the other one just automatically went through this one's all of a sudden like oh you gotta send us a W2 and fucking they want to know you know this and that and the other thing so I just kind of walked away from it yeah they wanted some proof of some things yeah but in this economy I wasn't readily to discuss with somebody I didn't know yeah of course that's pretty good speaking of money do you currently owe anybody money no pretty good pretty good you're clean on the street my wife does yeah I'm clean on the street my wife owes student loans though that's fair so you're gonna say you take those on she's shylocked on the block she's in for a nickel with the sharks I feel pretty good that I don't have student loans
Starting point is 00:48:14 that's great drop that at college so you know yeah just like when people talk about their student loans I'm like you know yeah you're more I have like $38,000 that's patreon.com slash are you garbage everybody that's not too bad I guess it's yeah average it's all right yeah it's below it's probably below the national average how much was that dumped to go to school every year well see the issue is uh they approve you for a bunch of money uh and then I use that money to fucking party and stuff like that and you would get it in checks once at the beginning of the semester so they would send the money to I went to temple so they would send the money to temple and then temple would cut me a refund check of everything on top of that when you're not
Starting point is 00:48:55 staying in the dorms you don't pay them for the dorms so like at the beginning of every semester we get a check for like fucking you know 12 grand or something what yeah that's fucking awesome we only got a little bit of that yeah well I'm now i'm fucking 34 years old still paying it off my fraternity house was like $1,500 difference in the dorm so I would get that refund at the beginning of the semester I thought I was big time starting off 15 honey well that was supposed to be ran that was supposed to be ran and then like my mom would be like will you give me that money so you don't spend it and then I'll like give it to you to pay rent and then like I give her half and be like oh there's a thing with the bank they don't let you send it all like that type shit
Starting point is 00:49:28 hey tuts I got a better idea yeah I'd write this the draft course has dollar beers on Wednesdays see you write this off into the sunset yeah get the fuck out of here when you had your car did you ever buy used tires oh sure yeah of course your yeah beaded seats this guy you're a real this is like we got a lot of real dirtbag tendencies yeah yeah you go to the junkyard no but they the place that I would take the car to would have used tires okay yeah yeah but I used to go not a pet boys I assume what uh no but I do remember like down on the boulevard not a Midas man I got the tires and then somebody like I bought the tires somebody and somebody else was looking at the tires and they was they were like I know you said I know you said
Starting point is 00:50:10 these tires are used but these are like used still got them no I got rid of the car oh my god that's but just having a car in New York City doesn't make any sense to put money into it because stuff happens to it well I have like a two I have a 2005 Mercury Montego it's been hit by like a city bus it's all you the bumpers are all fucked up and it's like yeah I there's no point imagine if it was he makes fun of me and he's like dude your car sucks I'm like well it's a fucking New York City car gets fucking smashed up it's on the street yeah there's a lot of empty water bottles in the back of it it's stunk before it got in the New York City update that oh sorry my mommy didn't buy me a car but it's funny because you feel like
Starting point is 00:50:50 you need to have a nice car why because I mean you're probably your wife wants a nicer car I know she makes fun of my car but she doesn't care does your wife want a car she wants to like get rid of her car and get in and get in either like lease a new car there you go that's the way to go you lease car yeah but why would you want to drive a new car in New York in the in the city and they're not paid what are you drag racing I understand it's doing donuts my car is every every car I've had gets like fucked up on the street yeah like the bumpers get hit yeah like or like I got sideswiped and then you just like they fucking keep it moving yeah it happens I don't want that to happen especially it's like my deductible I got shitty
Starting point is 00:51:27 insurance so it's like I'm not gonna fucking sit in there do paperwork and like filing over clean get the fuck out of here yeah fair enough fair enough do you have any family that lived with you hmm just my grandmother for a little bit when she got into a car accident okay so uh I remember when I was in like 10th grade I asked my grandmother to take me to blockbuster so I could rank Billy Madison I was like and then it was raining and she got she like ran a stop sign wait were you in the car with her yeah and Billy Madison in 10th grade yeah how old are you I'm your age yeah so that was I mean like you ever had to probably seen it by like 500 times yeah but I wanted to watch it again okay okay I was gonna say that's a long fucking I mean it came
Starting point is 00:52:10 out in the mid 90s yeah and then my dad showed up to the accident he was like I don't know why you guys had to leave the house did they blame you a little bit but then the cop was like sir let me give you some advice like save it for home it's not now's not the time and my dad was like yeah you're right you're right you're fucking they just love authority yeah somebody how bad was your grandmother hurt she like broke her leg and like hit her I guess what about you I was okay I was in the back seat was it was it on the way home or on the way home yeah no it's you already got did you watch the movie when you got home I think I think probably not that night I gotta take my mind off this I gotta clear my head a little bit comedy stylings of mr. Adam Sandler really I had to
Starting point is 00:52:51 move in with you um yeah she lived with us for like a couple weeks I guess your dad must have been pissed was it his mom it was his mom yeah no I think he was happy oh it was nice having it there yeah make sense well there you go um have you ever that's like a very like um I don't know there's cultures that do that they it's nice having your family live with you I love it you know your older parents I wouldn't want my parents in a nursing home I wouldn't mind it my biggest fear what my parents in a nursing home yeah because my grandmother had to be in one because she had Alzheimer's yeah we used to have to go every Sunday to see her yeah and I fucking I just knew I didn't want her there I hated it yeah used to cry and shit yeah cafeteria was pretty tight though
Starting point is 00:53:33 I'm not gonna lie yeah I don't think I would even mind like my in-laws living with me I don't know it's fun my cousins grew up with their my two cousins had their um their aunt and their grandmother live with them yeah awesome yeah especially around Christmas yeah because they fucking hooked it up yeah yeah it's tight what about you Baldi yeah no I don't want gift cards I would put my parents in a home for sure would you yeah I don't care they got cash it'd be a nice home green you know what I mean what am I I'm not a fucking you know assisted living why what are they gonna move into my one bedroom apartment in Washington Heights help me move the car on the hospital get a two bedroom get here now you get up you haven't lived in the podcast studio
Starting point is 00:54:15 Bobby quiet yeah machines are going off you just have to send her out yeah hour a week send her out go hang out at two brothers for a little yeah yeah yeah yeah somebody got somebody got murdered there three nights ago really yeah they apparently they were friends so you should feel safe um have you ever owned a sopranos poster or t-shirt no you ever waited in line to meet a celebrity no you're a wrestling fan yeah okay have you ever applied to work at enterprise rent a car no oh why is that why is that the thing what enterprise rent a car yeah because it's a real scumbag job like a door-to-door salesman yeah they take anybody they're really got defensive yeah no they're always at like every uh college fair you know what I mean you sign up and it's like
Starting point is 00:54:59 you know this they teach it's like oh this great salesman yeah it's uh it's definitely a scam not a scam but it's you know jerry started I thought enterprise was like the classier rental place they pick you up I hear yeah come on not bad more of a hurts guy the juice well nobody will rent me a car my credit sucks wait is that a thing that or I don't have credit cards or something I don't know I can never rent a car so I always got to give him like fucking 500 dollars cash for two weeks yeah my buddy gets a knee on just give me the fucking I have an account at uh cc rental in New York City so I have an account there so you can if you need to rent a car I'll do I'll wait those cc rental trucks they also rent cars too yeah I thought they were strictly
Starting point is 00:55:41 for the movie business um no really the best best uh truck rental in New York City they're everywhere yeah and they're open 24 hours flat rate you know so now do you get the way you're be he's selling a toss like he's got fucking you know you gotta something we gotta sign right now and he both drivers to be home you just use my account and then you bring your license and you should be good to get jet blue points on this something's on yeah well yeah it's all reason he came in today it's been a long time just to get a hundred jet blue points it's gonna be hand everybody a bit three different just if I can get a hundred jet blue points every podcast I do I'm actually coming out on top pace of parking that's my yeah oh that's fucking funny dude
Starting point is 00:56:19 hmm um do you currently own any end one basketball shorts no well actually I just got rid of them I just got rid of a pair they didn't make the room in the garbage no yeah yeah feels good to throw clothes in the garbage feels fantastic love it yeah cathartic yeah um if you're going to go swimming do you have a bathing suit or would you wear a basketball shorts I have a bathing suit it's class board shorts or elastic band elastic band okay would you get it um his buddy's closet I came with the suit I'll offer the money okay with the suit poor shorts again he hit the hotel pool won't you look at nice yeah that's awesome
Starting point is 00:57:00 um all right I have uh two from uh from our patreon listeners uh guys when you sign up for patreon we'll ask one of your questions we would love to ask them from everybody but we just get too many uh too many submissions so when you join the patreon we'll ask one of your questions this is from Austin Alexander have you ever bought furniture from a second hand store hmm I don't think a second hand store but definitely you know used furniture take anything off the street I'm sure yeah a few processor ones ever had bed bugs I had it for a long time um not in my room but in my apartment I lived in an apartment on the first floor and the front the front room always always I've got a bunch of bed bugs but I never got them
Starting point is 00:57:43 that's tough I don't know is that true what's there another yeah they just never made it to my room they saw the mice yeah uh I was a big as is section at the which is trashy the big as is section at Ikea uh-huh dude my fucking wife found out about that thing and that's all we fucking we got like our whole first apartment from the as is section oh really yeah it's like I you know we get a stained couch and like a banged up washer machine it's like it's like return shit or shit they got broken on the floor or whatever but worked out save a couple of bucks you know what I mean I just don't see the point in buying furniture that's it's it's weird because you buy nice furniture it's just for you it's not like people notice or anything we just got a
Starting point is 00:58:21 fucking new couch delivered last night uh or yesterday morning and that's nice but it's a brand new my it was a it's a white couch yeah what are we doing with a white couch you got a dog no but we want to get one so it's just like it's yeah yeah so we're like fucked yeah I got a micro suede couch which is like easier to clean that those are yeah you got a couple of dogs still you got a couple animal yeah it's a nice it's a nice couch having a nice couch is nice big it's big you spend a lot of time on it yeah all right hmm I think I only got one or two more here yeah um this is from tornatio'd what's something or tornatio yeah have you ever eaten canned goods straight from the can without heating it up hmm um like as a meal or just to like try it
Starting point is 00:59:07 well yeah I eat can tuna a lot because when I'm like working out you want to get the protein I think that's okay that's like functional that's not like we're talking like big beans yeah did you ever just open a can of corn or something and just start going at it like riding the rails kind of thing if I use chickpeas in a dish or something I eat a few chickpeas yeah but that's as your yeah you washed you guys you guys wash them out I really washed them out or people you're supposed to keep that juice in there that juice bugs me out I wash them out yeah I have feet the juice is too bad to not only juice yeah because there's weird bubbles that come when you put water in a can yeah it's weird yeah do you wash chicken before you cook chicken you're not supposed to I think you are
Starting point is 00:59:42 supposed to I don't think you're supposed to what I do rinse it because sometimes you there's if it smells yeah you got it you rinse it off and then it still smells after you Nick Whitmer actually told me this if it still smells after you rinse it off then you shouldn't use it wow yeah but a lot of meat in New York City that you buy smells a lot of chicken is there's a lot of smelly chicken in New York City for some reason yeah God knows that's all I was buying we went to the shop for Thanksgiving just seeing all the turkeys everywhere and stuff like that it's fucking gross yeah he's the worker at a butcher shop yikes they play it fast and loose with those fucking expiration dates I'll play it that much yeah all right before we get out of here I do want to ask uh let's talk about
Starting point is 01:00:25 tomato sauce okay yeah all right growing up what was the situation well for the listener Mike makes his own sure kind of famous not famous but you know you're known to make a proper sauce I assume this was understood with I guess but I don't do it as much anymore because this is just like it's pretty big hassle I tried to make it last or two Christmases ago and I don't know it's just a lot do you have an opinion about this subject though sure so let's you're a learned man when it comes to sauce sure I guess I know more than the average person are you 100 percent Italian I'm five eighths Italian five who the fuck says that five eighths my dad is all Italian and my mom's a quarter Italian what's she she's Irish Italian and Polish so you're Italian mostly Italian growing up was
Starting point is 01:01:14 there sauce being made or was there jars yeah we would do like Sunday dinner and my grandmother's house so yeah but she would make it and jar it so but we didn't buy jarred sauce okay but she would make her own sauce and jar yeah so you there was no prego or ragout really never Francesco and Rinaldi no and I always I was always kind of a snob about right you go to somebody else's house of course yeah I would go to somebody else's house and they would serve like prego or ragout and I you could just you could just taste the the difference you know about a glass of wine over here yeah that's funny um and then if I mean when was the last time you bought jarred tomato sauce I'll buy like a good jar like what's a good jar so here we go rain that's the money maker yeah do you
Starting point is 01:01:58 get this to put the stamp approval on rails tomato yeah it's a good it's a good jarred sauce is that would you say that's the one of the only ones you would buy maybe yeah because it was it's weird like the sauce the brand Classico is pretty popular I looked at a list of like the best jarred tomato sauces on the internet Classico is number one for some reason I don't think it's it's it's not but they must I think they probably lobby pretty heavily yeah they probably paid for the fucking research I think big sauce money you know because I was shocked that they were but the probably the best sauce you can get at the grocery store is the reo sauce and it goes on sale every once in a while yeah not bad yeah it's starting to get a little cheaper too it's
Starting point is 01:02:37 starting to get more popular it's like 1099 or something in my place okay yeah it's just too bad yeah you got to be careful with some of those like artisan brands though because some of them are not that good I don't want to name any names but name them what do you got you just trashed Francisco well Classico yeah but that's big that's big money well there's a brand called uh Michaels of Brooklyn that I was never that impressed with okay it's a little bland you think there's a little like jealousy you know the whole michael the whole brook you don't see that that is shining through I mean if there was like you know a kevin of another kevin ryan a comedy of washington heights he also doesn't like dogs so I've been told I'm gonna say I mean
Starting point is 01:03:17 I thought you were class I still think you're class I think he's pretty trashy think so yeah I mean this suit I can't get over the suit the walking around with $300 cash on him his little shady I think I think he operates like a gentleman I respect uh it's just nice to pay cash yeah not have to worry about your identity getting stolen that's a little that's a garbage thing he's worried about his identity being stolen that's a guy who thinks everybody's out to get him do you listen to alex jones no not ever since he went commercial yeah I'm saying I'm saying 60 40 60 trash that's my number he's classy comes from good stock yeah I don't know the the fact that he's like holds so much value in his points too is pretty that's you know it's not the classiest thing around
Starting point is 01:04:03 but I get it I was a big uh I had a delta credit card for a long time I want I want to start a crew but nobody nobody looked at my suit was like oh that's a hand me down suit you know sure um but nobody would have looked at an h&m suit and been like that's a trashy suit either he might have no he got a better suit I got a better suit than a better quality suit yeah he went shopping in his buddy's fucking closet that's trash that's what you do as a child this is the point I'm making if it wasn't h&m suits at the guy handed down to him then that would be garbage but no it's a nice respectable designer suit it's a little bit different yeah maybe a little but it's okay if you get your dinner from a dumpster is that you know is that bad what if you go to
Starting point is 01:04:46 if you go to a dumpster let's say you find a mcdonald's you know number one listen it hasn't been touched in a dumpster yeah it's still it's still a mcdonald's sure but if I was still a meal if I was hungry and I called my buddy and was like hey man are you making dinner and he's like yeah we're making dinner right now I'd be like I'm gonna come over to have something to eat he'd be like yeah sure okay that's not what I did or I could have just stopped on the way over and bought mcdonald's more but as an adult on my own but if you call your friend you say hey you want to sell me some of your dinner and then you go over and he eats the and you eat the food and he goes nah don't you pull all your wallet you know come on let me let me pay for this let me pay for this eggplant
Starting point is 01:05:22 farm he's like now yeah Mike Racine everybody Mike is there anything you want the folks out there to know that you got coming up just my podcast the sit down it's uh wherever you get your podcast and uh follow me on instagram racine dot mike and i'm uh mike racine on twitter yes sir kippy what do you got the folks out there need to know uh as always hit them a couple of points of business make sure you rate review subscribe on itunes we're in the top 200 a review will really help us I know a lot of people watch on youtube uh if you do watch on youtube go drop an itunes review it helps it out with the stat with you know with the stats also uh subscribe on youtube if you don't already patreon.com slash are you garbage you can fucking sign up there you can help support the show help us
Starting point is 01:06:02 pay for the studio keep the fucking lights on you get a lot of bonus content podcast merch.com get yourself a t-shirt uh other than that guys i'm at kevin permies i'm at kevin ryan comedy on all social media and of course let's tip our hat to our old pal toby mcmoley tebow we love you kid we'll see you guys next week peace peace

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