Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Nate Bargatze!

Episode Date: December 23, 2024

Are You Garbage presents stand up comedian Nate Bargatze! We're talkin' getting cut from the team, failing the ACT, and late night eating! You know Nate Bargatze from stand up comedy, SNL, The Joe Rogan Experience, Jimmy Fallon, We Might Be Drunk, Nateland, his new Nashville Christmas Special and so much more! Thanks for watching Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast. Come to a live show! AYG & Friends: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Dollar Shave: Visit https://dollarshaveclub.com/GARBAGE and use promo code GARBAGE for 20% off $20 or more. iRestore: Reverse hair loss with @iRestorelaser and get $625 off with the code AYG at https://irestorelaser.com/AYG Rocket Money: https://RocketMoney.com/GARBAGE Pretty Litter: https://PrettyLitter.com/garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? Oh yeah! It's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians and we find that to go to be classy Yeah, they're just a big old piece of trash I'm your host a truly coming at you on a glorious day. We're out back here at Tooties and a new edition

She's upstairs playing a little online poker. Okay, just a lot for eight o'clock in the morning You're good does her thing good for Mike Carlos is coming at you from right next to me, unamused this week. He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody. What's up, everybody? Thanks for tuning in. As always, real quick, make sure you rate, you subscribe on iTunes.

Full video available on YouTube. And obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com slash RU Gar you garbage gang? It's a party over there. Love that money. And gang, we couldn't be more excited. I were incredibly and I mean, incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time. He is a very funny, wildly successful stand up comedian, writer, producer and podcaster. You might have seen him in, but not limited to you got late night

with Conan O'Brien. You got Comedy Central presents WTF Conan Night with Conan O'Brien, you got Comedy Central Presents, WTF, Conan, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, At Midnight, The Stand-Ups, Last Call with Carson Daly, James Corden, the CMAs, Marin. He has multiple stand-up specials, including Full Time Magic, Tennessee Kid, The Greatest Average American, Hello World.

You got an amazing podcast, the Nate Land podcast. He hosted Saturday Night Live twice. Just had a Christmas special drop on CBS, which is streaming on Paramount right now. Nate Bargetzi's Nashville Christmas. He's gonna be starting a tour in May, Big Dumb Eyes Tour, and he's got a brand new special coming out this week, December 24th, on Netflix.

Your friend, Nate Bargetzi. Ladies and gentlemen, he is one of the biggest, one of the best comedians working today. I don't know many too many of these other bums that can sell out an arena at noon on a Tuesday. Give it up for Nate Barghetti, everybody. Let's go. Let's go. You know, all I asked was you to read the Carson Daly one. And you did. And so I appreciate that. He goes above and beyond.

Yeah, I got at least do Carson Daly. Plus one service, baby. Yeah, yeah. It's always funny to see a comic. You go, oh, they're doing it. Oh, that's a new. Ah, they're doing everything. All right.

You start down. And then you go, are you messing with me right now? Is this, yeah. Conan. Maren's TV show. That was a good show. It was a good show. That was a really good show.

It was a great show. That's when I was like, and the first time I saw him act was in an episode of Louie, and he was great. He just had one small scene. It was a really good show. It was a great show. That's when I was like, and the first time I saw him act was in an episode of Louie and he was great. He just had one small scene. Yeah. Great actor, man. That's all I've done is,

Maren is the only acting. Acting. Credit. Yeah, until, I don't know if you count SNL, but it's like SNL. I mean, yeah. But it would be, yeah, that was it. Two months.

Did you play yourself though? In Maren? Yeah. Yeah. It was actually this. I was doing a Two monsters. Did you play yourself though? In Marin? Yeah. It was actually this. I was doing a podcast interview. So it was it was not far. Easy money. It's exactly this. You got a lot of range there. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. I guess Scott's gonna be doing Hamlet this fall. Uh give us the backstory brother. Give us the origin story of Nate Park. Nashville kid right? Nashville yeah born and raised old hickory. Like grew up there. Old southern guys always got old

hickory. Yeah the specific town. Yeah yeah. Old hickory. Old hickory. So grew up there like I don't know how far back you went like you know went to. Hit me. Yeah. School. Yeah so yeah. School. School. I did the a good thing everybody was doing that and You know try to go to college well, I Mean I joke about it, but no community college for you good student or no even as a younger kid I think I was a good student up until I'm trying to figure it out I saw fell down a cliff when I was 12 okay, and in the old hickory lake And I was like really good up to then, like seventh grade I won all the awards,

like education awards. Okay. You know, the big time, science award, like real deal stuff. I thought you were gonna say you got smart after that accident. No, I think it went the other way. Like a phenomenon thing.

Yeah, it did, but the other way. Uh, it was, and then after that, it was just like I only got perfect attendance. How hurt did you get when you fell on the cliff? Unconscious? Yeah, yeah, I don't remember the whole day. No kidding. Yeah. What were you doing on top of the cliff? We would always climb down this it was not like a straight drop. It was like kind of like an angle And so we would always go down it You know just go to the you're being kids. And so one day I just slipped. It was like 60 feet. And then that dude, I've talked about it. I've told a story about it on stage, but it's like then I've landed in the water. They, a guy found me.

They ambulance, whole thing. No way. You were by yourself? I was with two other people. They went and got help. Oh, okay. And then so, yeah. But there were, but when they left, they're having me two people fishing right over there. And they went over there. And so, yeah. But there were, but when they left, there had to be two people fishing right over there. And they went over there. And the story, one of those guys that carried me up, my dad did a, my dad's a magician, did a show in a prison. And one of the guys that carried me up, met him, was like- He was in the can? He was in the can. What? Yeah. And he said, yeah, cause he was like, if my dad said his name. He's like he goes

I carried him up and then they've been get me out of here. He's been following me since then There's a great chance. He listens to this podcast. I'll leave this podcast Yeah, I wonder what he was doing was that someone in the can would only listen to your guys They only knows where you guys exist. He doesn't know there's anybody above it. Wait, there's more podcasts? What a second. We're big in the penitentiary circles. I wonder what they were doing on the thing. They could have been doing something shady and then saw you and then. Could have been.

Wow. Yeah. You know what I did not ask that. Yeah, yeah. I don't know what they, yeah, they threw one body in and then they go, yeah, I don't know what they yeah, they threw one body in Then they go home might as well even it out get the kid get to grab the kids Maybe worth a couple of bucks. Yeah Was your dad always a professional magician from the time that you were born and clown and clown He was a clown to I was about he would do a clown 12 always did magic though But he did okay, he would dress as he would do a clown 12 always did magic though but he did okay he would dress as he would do a clown It's about 12. Then he stopped being a clown just did just did magic and this is local entertainment and old No, he was on the road. Yeah regional. He'd go on the road a little bit

There's a lot of magic conventions that they do I have to say one of the first are you garbage questions are is are you related to a clown? Yeah Yeah, yeah, it was one of the original AYG questions. Oh, yeah. The most related. The most. Yeah. You said that like you wanted a check.

Like, I don't know. Yeah, all right. Well, I should get a point. Do I get a point? Yeah, it's not a good point. It's not a good point. It's not a good point. It's not a good point.

Okay. What did your mom do? She worked at a bank and then, you know, would be at home. She cleaned houses for at one point. Okay. Just stuff like that. what does your mom do? Uh she know if we're exactly an old we had a condo. We had an apartment and then we had a duplex. You had an apartment in Old Hickory? Well, I don't I don't know if we're exactly in Old Hickory but yeah, there's an apartment. Yeah,

but we have there's a apartment complex in Old Hickory. Okay. And then uh then we lived in a duplex that was in Old Hickory and then we finally they bought when they first bought the house, I was probably ten or eleven and it was just a two

bedroom house. I have a brother and a little sister. Okay. We were, I just found this out cause I asked my mom, cause they was doing another interview and they were talking about how I grew up or whatever. And so they was like, are you middle class? And then I called my mom and I was, we were lower middle class.

So we weren't food stamps. We were just, whatever's right above it. Yeah. We weren't middle class. You know, I think we eventually got to, You're talking to two of them right now. Yeah, no, you got to, we eventually, maybe my parents got some middle class, but it would have been when I was gone and my sister Yeah, and how far apart is your brother and sister? My brother's three years younger. My sister's about ten ten years. Yeah

Yeah, okay, so she grew up kind of like, you know, I was gone. Yeah Well, then I was me and my brother were out. So then it's just one child. And yeah, you know, as gradually as your parents get their ground. Yeah, sure. They start doing a little better. OK, what were the vacations like when you were a kid? Where would you guys go? I mean, there was new hickory. Yeah. There was not really many vacations, nothing in the. Now we wouldn't take regular vacations, but

we would if we did do some, we didn't do them a lot. We'd go to Kings Island. It's a theme park in Ohio. Kings Island, once we drove to St. Louis, saw the arch. Turned around, went home. Turned around, came back. Basically, turned around, went home. And that was kind of it. We'd go either there or there that I can remember we never really went to Florida I never really went to I mean, I don't know that we could have never really afford. I mean You just we couldn't really like you we weren't a big I you know people talk about going on vacation like growing up I was like I just didn't they're like I would go to Florida every summer you're like

I mean there was never any of that anything steady Was the first time you were on a plane? Because I assume none of those vacations you were flying anywhere right no no no we drove everywhere hours We go Chattanooga to about two hours That's a big one. You should open with that. Yeah, yeah, that's it lead with the money bag Yeah, yeah, he goes rolling Yes, their family in the general old hickory area like your dad's brother anybody that. That's it. Lead with the money bag. Yeah. Yeah. He guys. Yeah. Roland. He gets

their family in the general Old Hickory area like your dad's brother or anybody. Lot of them live in Louisville, Kentucky. Okay. And uh but then I've had a lot in Nashville. So, my my uh grandmother, my uh dad's mom.

Uh huh. Lived in Nashville. Ran away to Louisville, Kentucky. Ran away? Ran away. Ran away. Like just ran away. Like from her family? Yeah, from her family. When she was young, not when she was young. Okay.

Yeah. No, when she was young. Yeah. As a 75 at 75. I'm leaving. Yeah, that's it. Because I can't take it anymore. This one's falling down.

Yeah, it was a silver alert and we just couldn't find her. We were like, I don't know where she's at. That's a deep shot. Yeah. So she goes to Louisville. Then she gets married, raises kids there. My dad had a very rough upbringing. And then they get married.

Or my mom. Then my dad runs away from Louisville to Nashville. Okay. And then so that's how we ended up back in Nashville. Oh. Yeah. How did your mom and dad meet? They met seventh grade. What?

Yeah. Wow. That's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. So. Seventh grade sweetheart.

Yeah. All the way through. Yeah. Yeah. My dad would be great on this too. Like he would be. Yeah, he ran away. He ran away.

He's a clown. He's a clown. Yeah. He's a perfect too. Like he would be. Yeah, he ran away. He ran away. He's a clown. He's a clown. Yeah, he's a perfect guest. He's the champ. We only booked you to get to your dad if we're being honest with you. And what were your, so you weren't good in school. What was the sports situation? Did you, did you play? Yeah, I played sports growing up. Uh, base, you know, baseball was probably the most consistent. Uh, played two else 13 and then, uh, after like like after about that, I played basketball, but I got cut every year from my high school basketball team. So got tenacity, though.

I know. I keep going back. I played for my church. OK, church at a basketball. Yeah. Church at a basketball team. Yeah, there's the church. Basketball is like kind of a thing. Oh, I know. You mean like CIO League or get that. That's what we have in our area. Yeah. Catholic's the church basketball was like kind of a thing. Oh, I know you mean like CYO League or Catholic Youth League. Okay. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Ours was Nashville Baptist Association. There you go.

So we have I played church I was graded. Yeah, okay. I should have made the team at some point in my high school, I think, at least one year. I should have got thrown a bone. First year, my dad was the assistant coach. Still did not make it. Jesus. Yeah. He cut me.

That's a cutthroat clown right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't mess around. Yeah. Cut your dad. Cut you. That's crazy. And then after this, so then after that,

the coaches kept the tradition and then cut me the rest of the So you would go home after school and then he would come home a couple hours later from basketball practice. Yeah Yeah, yeah here's what you know fun little thing though, I'll tell you I Gave my ice cuz my high school is my only alumni So I gave my high school money and my name is on the court now the alumni. So, I gave my high school money and my name is on the court now. Yeah. Are you

kidding me? That's a baller move. Whoa. So, we're we're in there. Isn't it great? Is it the Nate Bargetti basketball courts? Yeah. So, over at Bargetti courts. Wait, we've had a lot of, we've got a lot of people coming in and do a lot of cool

things. That might be the coolest thing I've heard. I assume it was a pretty nice chunk of change. Did they redo it? No, they're redoing, they're building a whole thing. So they're doing a whole big building. It was announced, like I'm not trying to act like I'm, you know, anything. No, no, no. But it's, I mean, I only get in my high school. I don't have, you know, anything else. Didn't go to college.

I went to volunteer state community college for about a year, zero credits, all remedial classes. I got a 17 on my ACT. So So I don't think that's any good. No, it's pretty low. I got an eight seventy on my SATs. Oh yeah, I didn't do that. I got that seventeen. You know what? Seventeen they go. They didn't even bother. That's crazy. So I had to take all remedial classes for the first year to get. So they didn't even count as credits? No, because I was not even, I didn't have enough to even start. Yeah, so I had to do a full year of that.

And then I went to Western Kentucky University for a semester and then failed bowling. Failed everything. Failed bowling? Yeah. Because they, yeah, I did it. Was it a tennis ball? Yeah, and you know what? Not a bad bowler.

I bowled a 266, too. Really? Yeah. And you fail? You gotta keep score without the computers. Uh-huh. So the math part gets dicey. What?

The math part gets dicey. That's crazy. That 17 comes back into play. Yeah, that 17 comes, yeah. That even jousts. Yeah, you go, yeah, you're just wrecking these kids and then you're, and then they're like, but what's the score?

You go, well, you go, I don't know that. they go yeah so how did you get to Kentucky was all uphill so our dorm room fallen yeah or you're bowling uphill no yeah that was the only way you know I can't get it there no the dome with the dorm is at the bottom and then to go to class, you'd have to go straight up a hill and that was enough to be like, I'm with you. I started missing a lot of. Yeah, I'm with you. When you got to get up and walk a mile up a hill, I mean, you know, you're like, am I going to college? You know, I would have been done too. Yeah. I don't hold that against you. So technically you shouldn't have graduated high school or? I barely graduated. I think I graduated because I my dad, I think I failed a class

to not graduate and then my dad went and like talk to the teacher and was just kind of like come on six clown show. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're gonna do what the kid wants. Yeah, move it to a D.

Let's just get him out. Let's get him out. Okay, everybody's everybody. What do we do? Let's get out and how big how small of a town are we talking them out. For everybody involved, let's get them out. What are we doing? Yeah. And how small of a town are we talking? What did you graduate with? How many kids?

So I graduated with 56. What? And you didn't make the basketball team? That's crazy. That's nuts. Half of them are girls. What? More than half, statistically.

Yeah, but they were good. They were good. They were good. That makes it sound worse. Making balls. Sky hooks all day. I never thought about how bad it was. Man.

Yeah, you got stuff, man. I'm not going to say a couple hundred. Fifty-six. Man, that is vicious. Why did you pick up golf? Because you're a good golfer. Kick and shoot. You got a good swing.

Something. Yeah. I started playing golf probably like third. Kind of when I lived here towards. Oh really? That late? Yeah, pretty late and then we would go play. I lived in Queens so we'd go. The Chippin' Putt? Yeah, yeah. Some stuff like that. Where were you at in Queens?

Well, I live we lived in Middle Village mostly okay, then I lived in Astoria too for a little bit try live now Yeah, that's the place to be every comic comes to Astoria at least some point your parents don't live We had a basketball league in Astoria Yeah, yeah, yeah, I made that pretty good pretty good It's a famed vest. Yeah, yeah. You made that. Yeah, I made that. It's pretty good.

Pretty good. Yeah, yeah. Having the court though, that's awesome. Yeah, that was cool. Having your name on the court. Local boy makes good. You should make them do like a painting of you dunking. Yeah.

Like right in the thing. Over your dad or something. Yeah, yeah. Close through him. Who was growing up, who was, before you started doing all of that, who was the most famous person you met? Could have been like a local celebrity a radio guy

Somebody where you were like, oh, there's so and so a big deal in town or in Nashville I remember we waited in line to meet oral horse riser Like a picture for the Dodgers. Yeah met him at like a Sears You know, they would sign a ball or so. Yeah, we waited in line for him to do that. That's pretty good Yeah, that's not as a height rise in the 80s. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he was big man. He was big Yeah, cuz he was like he was like he wasn't he was like technical and like like a nice guy, right? Man, that was kind of his thing. Yeah, the other pictures were like rough and tumble. What do you scout? His number one fan

You think you hooked that up now? I'm like I get we can look at it you want to meet him Or I'll get in here. Yeah I just remember from the Dodgers back in the day. Yeah, what's time about rocket money shot? I thought rocket and let me tell you this a real-time Endorsement. Mm-hmm. Somebody almost caught me slipping if it wasn't for rocket money Oh, you're signed up almost got me jammed up and I ain't talking about 20 bucks I'm talking about this would have been heavy by rocket money get the email. Hey this this is coming up Take care of it. How you doing? That's because it's a record. It's a fantastic product I was it lets you know what's coming up you connect your bank out your credit card and they go

Oh, you have these coming up and you go. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa you know what's coming up. You connect your bank out, your credit card, and they go, oh, you have these coming up. And you go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You signed up to shit you don't know about. Rocket Money lets you know, and they can cancel it for you in about two seconds. Yes. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. And it's helping me with that. I got to tell you. Rocket Money has over five million. That's crazy. Rocket Money has over five million users and has saved a total of five hundred million dollars. That's a lot of cash in canceled subscription saving members up to seven

hundred and forty dollars a year when using all of the apps premium features. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. 30 eyes and ears on a street for you, baby. Go to RocketMoney.com slash garbage today. That's rocketmoney.com slash garbage. One more time, rocketmoney.com slash garbage. Do it.

Kip, we got to talk about pretty litter. Oh, the prettiest litter in a whole hour. I am not just a spokesman. I am also a client. The kitty cat at home loves the pretty litter. I'm not really a client. I'm not peeing in this stuff. You're just buying it. I'm just buying it for the kitty cat. Because you love your kitty cat. Because I love my kitty cat at home loves the pretty like I'm not really a client come on. I'm not being in this stuff You're just buying I'm just buying her for the kitty cat

You love your kitty cat cuz I love my kitty cat all right and the crystals tell me if there's anything wrong with the kitty cat They got a urinary tract infection or something's going on pretty litter. Let you know, but that's not the best part You know why I love it even though it's not for me. It's lightweight. It lasts over a month. It shit smells fantastic It's not for me. It's lightweight. It lasts over a month. It smells fantastic Okay, the cat loves it. They send you a cat toy. Listen, I'm telling you right now This cat busts my balls all the time And if she don't like what she don't like she lets you know and I haven't had one problem with the pretty litter She loves it Absolutely fantastic if you got a kitty cat do yourself a favor and get Pretty Litter.

Yes, Pretty Litter is amazing. You have to try it. Don't take the big man's word for it. Go to prettylitter.com slash garbage to save 20% off your first order and get a free cat toy that the big man likes to play with. That's prettylitter.com slash garbage to save 20% on your first order and you get the free cat toy. Prettylitter.com slash garbage terms and conditions apply. See the site for details. Just do it.

Do it. What was the supermarket you went to growing up we were there's a pigly wiggly we go to their crow or Kroger I guess okay which would be the better of the two Kroger Kroger okay yeah how was your mom in the kitchen growing up was she she? We were not big cooks. It was like we food was like I think something we just had to get done. It was like you're starving and then you have to eat. It was not. Well, it wasn't celebrated. It was not celebrated at all and still not celebrated to this day. And I think I have problems with food. And I'm saying because of that, but it's just, I don't look at food as...

You don't enjoy it, it's more functional. It's functional, but I then put the worst in my body to function, because I just want to solve the problem. Gotcha. Yeah. But would you guys sit down and have dinner every night, like after school? Uh, a lot. Your mom, dad, and your brother? No, a lot of TV tray.

A lot of TV tray. Really? Yeah. Okay. So what was she making? Like what would be? Chicken, I just remember my whole life was chicken. of chicken or chicken like yeah. Chicken breast on the bone. Yeah. Yeah. Chicken breast should make this cheesy corn. That was like in crescent rolls. No, that was the best. That sounds all right. Yeah. My daughter is that's her

favorite food and it's yeah. So that was that was in the crescent roll Yeah, I'm in yeah. Yeah, three my favorite thing. Yeah What about the bedroom? Would you drink milk with dinner growing up? We did Yeah, I believe we did yeah at all We have big soda family now We could never we had a water rule because we just was expensive to drink soda out

So we could we'd only could drink water when we went out if we ever went out to eat How often was that not often? I mean not often no, where would you go? You know, it's like you go to McDonald's and stuff or oh Charlie's was a big one or at McDonald's I think so. Maybe maybe we got a happy meal. They were because the sprite We didn't get a ton of that and then but yeah, but if we go to like Oh Charlie's was a big one casual dining establishment Yeah, okay great rolls Yeah, they messed it up. They had the most amazing roles.

And then they changed the recipe. And it's just not even remotely the same. My buddy that's here with me, his dad worked at O'Charlie's. No kidding. Yeah, his dad could actually make the roles. So that's why he's here. I need a role guy. I go, I need a roll. I need the real deal. Go back to the, you know, come on. What are we doing with

the, what they got now? I like it. Um, yeah. So up in the bedroom, what were the posters that you would have on your wall growing up? Me and my brother shared a bedroom bunk beds. Uh, Till when? Were you top or bottom too? I was top. Yeah. And. Yeah, and then we shared till Man

When pray my freshman year in high school we moved, okay Because then we changed houses and the next house had a basement and my parents Had them had a bedroom made in the basement for them or for for me guys really? Yeah You got yeah, they kind of finished the basement and then I got that was about ninth grade when I got that that's not bad how was it down there it was great my they built they did a very cool thing they put my bed in a wall so the wall went in so the matches just laid on the wall that's pretty cool yeah yeah pretty sure an entrance down and out from from there. Did you have to go upstairs?

No, you could have got out from there, but I would just go upstairs I never like ran out or anything now. No, okay. And so Yeah, and then on the wall, I don't I mean I would have a lot of Andy stuff I'm a big Vanderbilt fan big friend. So uh Anything Vandy? Yeah, I would have had all the Andy stuff. OK. First concert you went to. Michael W. Smith. OK. He's a Christian singer. OK. Yeah. They were your parents were big into the church when you were

growing up. Yeah. Yeah. Still are. OK. Yeah. But yeah. So I could grew up. I only listen to we could only listen to like Christian music. Like no kid clean music, you know, stuff like that. I'd never really heard. I'm not a good music person either because like I have a hard time, when I listen to music, I don't know if I,

I don't ever listen to the words really, so I don't ever get what the song's about something. Shit. It's all about the beat, man. It's just, yeah, I can even sing the words and they just don't mean anything to me. It doesn't get in. It doesn't get in.

So I can sing, I could listen to a sad song and be like, it's a pretty fun song. It could be, cause it's not registering to me as like suicide. Same with like food. You're just like, ah, this is functional. I'm listening to music. I'm on a plane. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. I just listened to the, yeah. It really, I don't know what they're talking about. I don't, it doesn't, I'm not even trying to figure out what they're talking about. I don't, doesn't I'm not even trying to figure out what they're talking about I don't know wild perspective man. I know what about now do you is it mostly Christian music now? No, no now It's just anything. Okay, but I mean I'd listen to Done I've been a lot of country now. Okay more country very nice again. I'm like music I

like, you know whatever America likes is probably what I'm into I'm not you're not rocking the boat you're cool with the way yeah yeah yeah what's out right now I'm it's out right now yeah this is on the radio not rock like or whatever you like everyone's decided this is good yeah on board yeah I'm not by the country I'm, I'm on board. Yeah, yeah. It's been vetted by the country, I'm in. I'm not finding anything. I respect that, all right. Okay. Man, you are just a straight up the middle American kid.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you are, dude. I love it. That's fine, okay, no problem. What about your first job? I worked at Oper-Land Theme Park, which is closed now. I was a sweeper, so I just worked at the park, I was 15. I just swept the steps and then worked in dog kennel.

Fun little, other than about that, because it talked about the Christmas special, but my first job was at Opera Land and the Christmas special was take the Grand Ole Opry. So I've swept the steps of the Grand Ole Opry just growing up and being, because they knocked the theme park down and then now there's a mall mall which everybody was pretty upset about because the

theme park was awesome and then I think about when I was in my graduated high school they did that and so but I worked there you know worked in driving I worked at a golf course which is a driving range. Okay. You drive drive the cart? To pick up the balls? Yeah, I did that. Did they go after you? Well, yeah. And so the sides, they'd have three sides. So the three, the front and the two sides were metal.

The back was a net that wasn't tied down. So when you would go with your back to it, it was like, if a ball gets it, I mean, there's no point to that net. Sure. Because there was nothing. It's coming in. That's how they got the Panzer tanks in World War two It was yeah, it was like you want to be sideways you definitely don't want to get around parallel to the yeah Yeah, I did it too man, and they would you get a group of like

21 year old kids and they just put a bounty on you. Yeah, they'd be there just And it hits that cage. It's like that wrought iron dude. It sounds like you're taking mortars. Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah Uh-huh. Okay big mover my job my last serious job, which I talked about my social I was a water meter reader. So a water meter reader. Yeah, where was? Wilson County? No, no. I delivered FedEx when I first moved here. No kidding. Uh yeah. Driving a truck. Good job. Like running. Yeah. At the at the beginning was driving a truck. They're out in Manhattan. I did Manhattan and then Brooklyn. That's a good gig. Yeah, I was. Yeah, I was a

delivery guy. So, I was, this is about you had to read maps. So, I knew I was delivery guy in Nashville too and so when I came here I did that and it was a really good gig and Because they their routes all here. It's all about the route So like guys would have a route that they've had for Yeah, and then if you wanted to you could sell the route if you were like I'm done It's like me someone might pay two hundred grand in FedEx. You could do that Yeah, you can sell because you're a contractor so you could ride that route So if you had you know like Upper West Side kind of route

It's like that guy would just your I mean he could hire people to do it if when he was ready to be done He just gets to go out and there's a bidding war to see who gets that. Because I've heard of that with like boars head routes. I didn't know FedEx was doing it like that too. Yeah, yeah, they were back then. And then, so I delivered a lot here, some Brooklyn. And then when I was, I was already started comedy, but it's like I had nights, you'd go out till 9 p.m. It was like, it was hard to do shows at night.

So then I started just loading trucks. So I would load trucks from like 5 a.m. To 10 a.m. So I would just stay up I'd go like bark and hand out flyers and We the Boston Comedy Club was here and the village Yeah, and then just stay up and then go to FedEx and then sleep, you know, and then go back out So you started here? I was in Chicago at first Okay, about a year and I lived in Chicago for two years did comedy about a year in Chicago, okay, like Hannibal and

Kumail, did you go there to do comedy? Yeah, you did see I want to be a comedian my buddy that worked at the water meter company He wanted to go to a lot of buddies. I got a lot of buddies He wanted to go to second city forgotten about it He wanted to go to second city forgotten about it Yeah, I have a joke in my active every job I had is just the title the title is just the description But so My buddy wanted to go to second city, okay, and then so I was like, I think I just needed I was think I was scared to start at home. All right, you know, you just didn't know what to do. This is right after the college episode. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So I was like 23. Okay. And so

it was and so I wanted to go. He's like, I want to go to Second City. And I was like, all right, I'll just go up there. I didn't really know what Second City was. But it's obviously where SNL people came out and all that. So I took like eight weeks class there, but I didn't really love improv and I wanted to do stand-up. So then I took a class, another stand-up class in Chicago and then it just kind of started and then a comedian came out. I started, yeah, if you watch Pete Holmes HBO show, I started with Pete. Okay, so that show was what I was doing. OK, we came up very similar in the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Very similar. Five years.

Comedy village. Village lantern. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I barked at the village. I barked at the grizzly bear. Before. Yeah. Their village lantern is Fred. I met Eric Andre first day. Eric Andre came to New York. No kid.

I was barking at the Village Lantern and I remember he rode up on his on a bicycle and he was just like they do shows here and I was like yeah, they got shows here. She's got hand out flyers and then you get and then he was like on a

commercial uh two hours later he's like the caveman. Oh, I love it. OK, one thing I feel we met. What was the first car? Your first car? Mazda six to six. No. Yeah. Who else first car that was? Mr. Rob Lowe. Oh, really?

Mazda six. Wow. Nineteen eighty five miles to six. What year did you get that? How did you get your hands on it? Someone said this is 90. So 90. Yeah, I was like I got it like 96 or something like that Yeah, 85. Oh, yeah, he got he was real. Yeah, he got a real Maybe bought his yeah Ours was someone was selling it in the neighborhood of my school. And so it was like

$1,200, okay stick shift I put tennis ball over the stick shift because it was very sticky. That's pretty sweet. I haven't thought about that. That is pretty good. It's trashy but cool. Yeah, it was nicknamed it Old Blue.

Cool. And so it worked out because I think it helped me with my, you know, because I went to, so for high school, I went to a private school. Okay. Went to a Christian, that's why I was at to a private school. Okay. Went to a Christian, that's why I was in a smaller Christian school. Because some of our public schools were getting, they were a little on the dicier side.

Gotcha, I understand. And so my dad was a teacher, also being a magician, but his regular job was a teacher. So he got a job. Okay. He got a job there. That's what he's doing. All right. He worked there as a teacher. That's why we got it. That's why I got to go there. Gotcha. And then so, but everybody there would had like Camaros

and that was not my senior years when Mustang switched the body style. To the 5.0 or whatever? Yeah, yeah. To the new. From the 5.0 to the new. From the new, yeah. And so, I mean, everybody had new cars.

Really? So mine was nicknamed Old Blue. So it's pretty popular car, even though it was the worst car banged up. Yeah. At tennis ball. I like that. Yeah. Any pets growing up? We we've had a lot of pets. I have a theory that when you don't have any money,

you end up having a lot of pets as you don't have the most toys. So you just research that checks out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You just't have the most toys. So you just research that checks out. He just needs stuff around anymore. Stop. What'd you have anything weird? Oh, I've had a snake a snake. What one year doesn't that was a very one year. We had it. Well, I probably had a couple years what we're getting. We had a red talboa. And then we fed it up to mice. And then it was like going to get it was like rats and rabbits. Yeah, that's when I think my parents are like, all right.

What do you do with that? I just put it in an aquarium type thing. No, when you get rid of it. Oh, I don't know. I still don't know. I had this. Your parents just got rid of it. Yeah. So I.

They put that in the woods. Yeah. I've got a few animal. So we had that. We had a tarantula when I was growing up we had that my we had a tarantula You bet this is had a tarantula when I was a kid it froze to death because their heat broke and we were Somewhere and so it froze We had a bird a few birds that got out one my mom like had the door open like you're what this Andy Griffith There's an Andy Griffith episode where Aunt B loses a bird and My mom lost a bird and we had once birds in the house

No, no in the cage, but she was like cleaning it flew out another one flew into a frying pan Sounds like someone hit that bird Was a frying pan hanging no no it was it was going it just went it just went into the front kamikaze Yeah, yeah, and I get it out and it was it looking for heat losing like half its fur but it lived still alive today. Still doing good today. It ran off to Louisville. Start a new family then you know dogs bunch of dogs the big one I had I've told this so this story is on my last special hello world but it's we cut it so but I owned an alligator when I was in when I was me my buddy and I was whole thing is falling apart very He said yes to everything question we've asked him so far no one's ever said yeah, you have any weird pets all of them

Literally no one's ever had a train Birds which usually one is okay. Where did you get to tarantula for ones enough to get it? Yeah? You're like, you failed that portion of it. You made the team. Let me put it to you that way. This guy's got seventeen written all over it. Where'd you get to

tarantula? Uh I was a kid. My dad got it. My so I was I was like five. He's connected to the underworld. This guy. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. I remember he would do he I woke up he would you'd go to sleep and I'd wake up and he'd set it on my chest. So you just wake wake up and be like, I have a trance in my chest.

Could it bite you? Was it poisonous? Uh, no. No, I don't think they are. I think they're relatively not harmed. They're pretty harmless. Not according to Indiana Jones. Yeah, yeah. Or home alone. A little overacting. You know what I mean? Those, he should have, yeah, home alone they were. Yeah.

But they're scary if you didn't know. Sure. If you're not around them. I mean, they're scary even if you know they're still scary. Yeah, yeah. And where'd you get the alligator and what was his name? Or her name? I was Gary. Yeah. I want to say we named it Steve after Steve Irwin. That's pretty good. So I'll give you that. Yeah, we love Steve Irwin. Who doesn't? He's great. We wish.

Rest in peace, big dog. Yeah. I went to the zoo in Australia. No kid awesome. Yeah. Yeah They're like the best family ever so Me and I I worked as I've eaten water meters. Mm-hmm And so I lived with my buddy and I was like we should get an alligator We go they sold Cayman alligators at this pet store So we went and got it and then We had it for a little bit It got out of control when one time buddy brought a snake over with the alligator

What are you guys in the circus? Who were you hanging around with? Well? We were gonna see you know I think it was gonna be like they were gonna see what happens But then nothing we didn't let it happen cuz it was like well That's crazy. This is a Friday. They got too much. Yeah about catching a movie or something like that We had we had real stakes So what happened who won the duel no they did not go we put a stop to it that was about when it was like All right. All right. What are we doing? Yeah, what are we? You know, where are we going? Yeah, we're like the white Michael Vick. Yeah. We go. All right. All right.

That's enough to join a gang. Yeah. Yeah. Next thing you know, you're wrestling a groundhog. Yeah. Yeah. And then how did you get rid of the alligator? That's the fun. So I don't know for sure. You got real selective memory. Yeah. Comes to get rid of these pets. fun so I don't know for sure. You got real selective memory when it comes to getting rid of these pets. Yeah I don't remember how we got rid of the alligator so I joke and

say in the story we let it go in Old Hickory Lake. We just kind of sent it off and just let it but I don't remember I don't know if we gave it a store my buddy knows I don't remember what we had. That was probably his job. It was probably his Yeah, it's just Yeah, we don't I'm going to bed get him out of here. Yeah. Yeah, I wake up. I want yeah on all right, okay Yeah, that's a wild ride for the beginning. I'll tell you that Growing up. Did you keep your butter on the counter? Fridge I think in the fridge, ketchup in the

fridge, uh, ketchup in the fridge. I keep it out now though, because you go to a restaurant, you don't ever eat cold ketchup except at home. They put it in the fridge at night and put it out for service. Just so you know. All right. That's good. You always take it tasted warm. Yeah. So now we keep it out. It's not bubbling or anything like that is it? No, no, no. Hey now we keep it out. It's not bubbling or anything like that. No, no, no. No, it's good. We get to it.

It's not going to sit there. You know, you know, we're in Tubby. Yeah, we're turning tables over here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a Heinz Heinz. You're a Heinz man. Yeah. Mayonnaise wise, what do you like? You like Hellman? Do you like Miracle Whip? I like Miracle Whip.

I think we have both Hellman's and Miracle Whip. But I don't know if we have both but it'll flip back and forth. Growing up? Like the squeeze kind. Uh Were you a Miracle Whip kid growing up? Please say no. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. What would have else been?

Hellman's? Hellman's. Yeah, yeah. It's the Gentleman's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or Duke's. Yeah, yeah. Probably something like that. I don't know. I'm not completely shit.

Miracle Whip sounds a little fancy. So. That's crazy dude. That's the bad one. No, that's the bad one. Oh, is it? I'm not completely sure miracle up sounds a little fancy so That's the bad one. Oh is it things doing miracles? Oh? That's we had I thought that was like money one Hellman's is the money Hellman's got laughs you got a little cash America's brand. Oh Okay, the ketchup's on the counter you You're a Heinz Man, okay. All right.

Kempi, let's talk about iRestore. What are you talking about? I'm restoring right now. That's right. Let's start getting it all back, baby. All you bald guys out there, do yourself a favor. Get over to iRestore and turn things around like the Giparino here. Yes.

They have a clinically proven, game-changing hair growth device that's here to help you turn your back, turn back the clock on hair loss, baby. It's a fight. Also listen, if you're starting to see a little bit of thinning, get on top of it. It's a game of time. iRestore Elite uses low-level light therapy,

a treatment that has been clinically proven to stimulate cellular activity within your hair follicles. This stimulation increases blood flow to the scalp, delivering essential nutrients and oxygen that helps reduce inflammation, one of the key factors that contributes to hair loss, baby. In just a few months, you'll start to see noticeable improvements as your hair regains its vitality without the need for drugs, painful procedures, or expensive surgery.

Sure. It's the most non-invasive, pain-free, and drug-free way to bring back your hair back to life, back by real science. There you go. I'm using it right now. You gotta do it. Listen, if your hair starts thinning, falling out, you gotta get on top of it. You gotta do something and iRestore is it. Are you ready to get medical grade red light treatment at home and regrow your hair for a limited time only?

Our listeners get $625 off their order. That's a lot of turkey with the code AYG at iRestoreLaser.com. That's your order at iRestoreLaser.com with the promo code AYG. Please support our show and tell them we,tell them Kipy sent you. They got a picture of me up in the goddamn office. Six hundred twenty-five bucks. Hair loss is frustrating. You don't have to fight it alone.

Thanks to irestor. Do it. Yeah. Kipy, this is Dollar Shave Club. Shout out to Dollar Shave Club. Which has been coming through in the clutch with the beard trimmer they got over there keeping me fresh and clean. Then I use the razor to get down there, keeping me fresh and clean. Then I used a razor to get down here to keep it nice and tight.

Dollar Shave Club, gang. Save yourself a little money, have it sent right to your door. You don't gotta be walking around CVS trying to get behind a steel door to get razors or anything like that. And you're getting the top quality product delivered right to your home with Dollar Shave Club. Yeah, whether you're going for a smooth shaving or maintaining a beard, Dollar Shave Club offers all the grooming, shaving, grooming products that are always high quality but

never overpriced. And that's how they've been so successful in the game. They got the Club Series Six Blade Razor. They got the Club Series Diamond Grip Handle. They got the Heavy Metal Handle. They got a shave butter. They got a post-shave dew. Keep your hydration without the heavy stuff. You know what I mean? Falls like a nice morning dew on you. Makes the beard feel good. Yeah, they have the double header, the double header electric trimmer, trimming your beard and balls with the same trimmer. That's what I was doing until Dollar Shave Club hit me. I got two. They got all personal care for dudes in addition to the amazing shave products.

DSC also offers a whole personal care line for dudes such as ball spray, keep them tight, butt wipes and deodorant. And butt wipes. But don't take our word for it. Try it yourself. You can visit their site right now for 20% off, $20 or more. And get your products delivered right to your door. Visit dollarshaveclub.com slash garbage and use the promo code garbage for 20% off $20 or more more and remember however you shave Dollar Shave Club is here to help you stay handsome do it just in time for Christmas. Have you ever

bought the floor model of a TV or an appliance? Uh. Hey you knock off 200 bucks I'll take this one right here out no box.. I don't know if I know. Okay, we did buy one of the Hertz rental cars. No, yeah, you know, they can buy. What kind of car was it was a Mazda one. That was brand loyal. That was when I moved LA. Okay.

Yeah, you bought it. Yeah. All right. That's right. Many parents. That's all right. No, no, my parents. My parents bought a with they their first car

They bought they they were not great with money. And so they would bought a car off the lot new stick shift Mazda No air conditioning what because it was because it was like two thousand dollars cheaper to get no air conditioning And so they go, you know, they're like, what do we need a witness? Tennessee Tennessee human It gets brutal without a man. Brewery other seats. Now you're probably sticking back. Oh, yeah. Thanks. Yeah. Yeah.

OK. All right. Are you a clone guy? Not anymore. I did a little bit in high school. OK. I don't you know, but I think it was people did it in high school. Sure. I don't think I don't do it now. You all still do cologne? Nah.

I do a spritz, a little polo. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Bigger guy, want to make sure. Cover up the barbecue sauce. Yeah.

Yeah. Cover up the miracle with the smell. Yeah. Yeah. How many suits do you own? Gotta be a cup. Well, now it's much different now. Of course. Of course course because I have to go to a lot of things events Yeah, yeah, so now I there's I have a few suits which just so you know the come-up is very celebrated

Yeah, yeah, yeah audience loves to hear the come I mean those are humble beginnings. Yeah, you are now It's crazy the fact that you swept the floor At the venue that you're you're performing. I mean that's insane man Oh, yeah, and I mean I was you know in the beginning the arena thing you're performing. I mean, that's insane, man. And I mean, I was, you know, in the beginning, the arena thing, you know, on a Tuesday at noon. I mean, you're moving tickets. It's insane.

Great to see. It's awesome to see. Thank you. It really is. Yeah. No suits growing up before that, though. No, of course. I didn't have to, yeah.

I want that on a record. I want that on a record. No suits till way later in life. We were a tarantula family, no suits. When did you learn to tie a tie in Kenya tie-tie? I did my high school year. So because we had church, you had chapel on Wednesday or Wednesday you had to wear it. No, did we have to every day? We had to wear a tie maybe every day or it was Wednesday, but I had to wear a lot of ties. Okay, so when I was in high school, I just had a ton of ties no jacket should be you guys wear button-down and tie gotcha

Yeah, all right if you had to put a number on the suits like 20 now. Yeah, I Don't know if it's 20, but okay it could be yes. I mean yeah 17 anything of note designer wise oh yeah, they're like Yeah, like Paul Smith yeah like Paul Smith, I don't even know what that is, that's pretty good. It's the guy's name so you know it's good. Oh is that Paul Smith? Yeah, he's a Christian Taylor. Yeah yeah yeah. Okay. Yeah like I think I might have some Hugo boss. Very nice. You gotta look sharp. You gotta do a lot of red carpet stuff. Of course.

Yeah, I got a tuxedo on the Christmas special. There you go. Is that yours? You keep that? Yeah. Did you have that before? No. But they bought it. No, I got it for that.

Yeah. Well, you get like, I have a stylus and so there's just so much, because you get photographed in everything. So you do all these red carpets. You have to kind of like wear these like CMAs. So you gotta wear a suit for the CMAs. I wore a suit for I presented at the NHL awards and then this and that. It ends up being a lot. You could see why people stop going. I could see why at one point you go like that's enough. I don't want to do enough. I've done this

enough. Yeah, yeah. You're like buying 20 things a year. It's a lot of prep work. Yeah, I mean it's the most. Yeah. Like three minutes of like, hey, I'm here. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean the award shows. I mean, yeah, when people go to those award shows,

I mean, they're having to buy, you know, you got to think there's probably even worst case you might go to four a year. It's like, so you got four suits. Major events. Yeah, yeah. And you got to. That's all out of your pocket, right? If you go to four a year. It's like so you got four suits major events Yeah, yeah, that's all out of your pocket right then. Oh, yeah, go to like the Grammys. They don't pay for your suit, right? No, no, no

Yeah, I think suits to buy. Yeah, I think they yeah, I think I guess if you're they at the Grammys they figured You got the cash. Yeah, I could see you can tie your tie. They go. He's all right. He takes care of it And maybe you shouldn't wear a suit. Maybe, you know, you can also just can be some weird celebrity that doesn't wear shorts. Sal Vulcano said, he's like, I'm done doing suits. I'll do a jacket maybe, a t-shirt, and a pair of jeans or whatever. You've earned that.

Well, as talent, you know, that's what they... You can be kooky and zany. You can be whatever you want. And you go, this is what he does. Seinfeld pulls it off great. The nice jeans, nice sneakers, t-shirt, the jacket. Sandler, that shorts everywhere. Yeah, yeah, Sandler's exactly.

I always think about wearing a suit, like on stage, just to not have any thought in it would be nice. Just go, this is it, it's a black suit, it's a blue suit everywhere, same tie. Everywhere, tie, and you go, you go every shows this I'm done Would you be comfortable? You know you're a little yeah? Yeah, would you be comfortable? No, I wouldn't I would have to not now yeah, not now you'd have to I'd be very uncomfortable right now That's it next I don't get a big suits. Yeah

Yeah, y'all would look great in suits. No we do not Get one long in a casket After like 10 everybody knows why you're there After 10 minutes I look like a fat kid at the end of a wedding Everything's done. I got cake on my face. It's bad. What's a? Tommy boy. Yes, I had a little coat. Yeah, I'll say I don't look good. I think more is dead Brian Denny yeah, they don't with the hey hose great actor Okay, how do you feel about the rotisserie chicken?

I like it. I'm not the biggest chicken fan and getting chicken was all we ate sure but I like rotisserie We know you keep it tight now you do you do you do real good with what you eat and all that kind of stuff Oh, what not now really a really bad spot right now real and I talk oh yeah, I'm to the right place. Yeah What's your poison? Well? I mean I had McDonald's last night. I had last night I was hungry and then I was like I went to this ice cream place because in New York ice cream is like what's I forget the name of it. There's like 1115 and there's an ice cream place open. Yeah, it's almost like well Why would you live anywhere? Yeah? Yeah, exactly So then I go there have ice cream hot fudge the whole thing and then but I then I haven't really eaten So then I'm starving and I'm walking back and there's a McDonald's

It sounds like well might as well get McDonald's and then so I got number two no onions number two no onions Well, I don't think is it yeah, but it's number seven now gotcha. Nothing the number two now is a quarter pounder I'm more but I like a Big Mac number one no onions. You don't like the onions is it only onions? I don't like onions. Yeah, okay. Once it McDonald's I like that. I mean one no onions. You don't like the onions is it only onions? I don't like onions Yeah, okay. What's it McDonald's? I like that. I mean they're really good. Yeah. Yeah, but McDonald's would be my yeah But I get I get fast food every day. I mean and it's McDonald's is the number one for you McDonald's is number one Taco Bell So we have a Sonic nearest I do Sonic, okay, I like a sonic and great ice

Yeah, there's a pray that so this is when you're home you'll you'll you'll be out in the car you'll hit a sign Yeah, I'll do it at home. I'll order it at home. Hey, it's I'm in a I mean, I'm a mess You're ordering fast food to the house. Oh, yeah, I have a door a door dash. I mean Door dash I just what's the missus say about that. Are you getting some for the whole family or you just like now usually it's embarrassing I'm embarrassed by it later, but you can pull that off. You could be at the house with the family and be like hey I'm gonna order some Sonic well if you get in a few threatened to hit your wife right after Yeah, I go would you say

No What about the character kids like yeah, I want something too. Oh, yeah Yeah, my daughter wants some but you know Sometimes I order if I'll get lots of I'll get a sonic blasts a blizzard or some kind of ice cream and I'll order that And I but I'll do it late enough so it's like she'll be at the bed and then I get it sent. Sometimes, you know, they send it up on the-

In the notes, do not ring the doorbell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll meet you down the block. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I set it right on the steps. That's top level garbage. Quietly and yeah. I've thrown my trash away in another trash

I'll do that if I eat something out during the day that I don't want my wife to know about uh-huh I've paid cash Yeah, and then I've thrown it away at a Like a guy And get rid of it yeah go through a gas station act like you're about to get gas But you don't you just hop out all your real fat guy tendencies. Yeah, right. No, no, it's it's bad Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm a mess right now. I'm truly like I'm talking to someone about it because it's like that big of us. Oh my yeah

Talking to you about yeah. Yeah, yeah right here. Yeah, it's not good. Yeah Oh, yeah, yeah, right here, Rob. Yeah, it's not good. It's group therapy. Oh, yeah. Huh. I, I, I, I, cause I think it's the, we did not, like I said, we didn't cook. I don't know how to cook.

So, uh, cooking was never even to now not been like a big thing. So it's like, I just go to the, Go get the food. I can only think of, if I'm starving, I can't think, well, I'll just make this. I only think, of if I'm starving I can't think well I'll just make this I only think well I'll just go what's the quickest way to go get it and then my brain like you know when I live even when I lived in New York we'd go to

the Applebee's right about right here in Times Square Carolines is right there and then so yes and but it was in good in the neighborhood yeah I could only like I would think in chain restaurants, so if I'm hungry, I kind of think of a chain restaurant first I don't think of a Restaurant that's like a cool restaurant. You have a favorite chain of those casual dining establishments. We're like cool and out back Yeah, we've been going. Yeah, we're going to out back You know once you start doing better once we start doing better out back pretty much You guys love out back money one. Yeah, that's what I thought. Yeah, once you guys start to a better

Oh, yeah out back. You go. That's when you that's when you made it. Wait, so like say you're blooming onion You don't even worry about how much it costs. Do we need a blooming onion? I will yeah, but you don't like onions I can't eat a fried it. I'm with you. Yeah, I'm with that's real I can't eat a fried onion. I'm with you. Yeah, I'm with you. That's real because it's Not a vegetable it's right. Yeah. Yeah, so say you're home you have a week off or whatever I know you're very busy and you and the you and the kids and the missus are gonna go out and get something to eat Is that where you're going? You'll go to like an outback. We're go. Yeah, we're some go to out back or I mean We're trying to go sometimes go out if we go out to eat go to a newer restaurant in Nashville So we do try to gotcha. I this stuff. My wife does like different foods, but it she likes nice stuff

She likes nice stuff and then but yeah overall it's like we mean her we met at Applebee's No in Nashville, no kid. Yeah, so and we worked there together No worked at an Applebee's so that Applebee's. So that's where we met. Before I started comedy. Yeah. I've never wanted to come on this podcast for a while. I know. I know. I know. I mean

You've said yes to every single thing. It's nuts dude. And you're like yeah, but wait there's more. That's every answer. Oh we met at an Applebee's. I used to live in an Applebee's. And you're like, yeah, but wait, there's more that's every answer Like Applebee's I used to live in an Applebee's Crazy Okay, do you like a lot of like do you if you get you do well Like if you guys go to like a nice place, are you trying like will you have like foie gras?

You know what? I will try stuff. Okay. Yeah you have like foie gras or anything like that? You know what? I will try stuff. Okay. Yeah, I'm I am somewhat a pick eater but I will try anything. What's your move at Applebee's? We always get chicken, the chicken broccoli alfredo, Nick's the broccoli. You're just doing chicken alfredo with applebees? Yeah. Say, I'd say, I'd say put the broccoli on the side so they think I'm gonna eat it. And then. Throw it out later. Yeah, then I would just be. Go to a gas station and throw it out?

Yeah, throw it out, yeah. I was never here. I'd walk around the restaurant with the plate and try to find someone not looking and dump it in the trash. You're doing chicken Alfredo at Applebee's. Chicken Alfredo at Applebee's. You do a starter there too?

Chinese chicken salad. He said he didn't like chicken. I know. I know, well, I don't actually like chicken in my salad. Alfredo it was a starter there to Chinese chicken salad Chicken I know I know well, I don't actually like chicken in my salad the Chinese chicken salad It's the the last thing it is is a salad. I know but it's so good It's got the wonton Chris stuff in it the sweet What would you like will you do the potato skins or yeah, well you get like potato skins Like we do the potato skins or yeah, well you get like potato skins Yeah, ladies and gentlemen groundbreaking news here on are you garbage no you America Ketchup on them warm ketchup. Yeah warm ketchup. I'm a gentleman. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I put

Another I'm not trying to do my act, but I just have a talk about this stuff a lot of course, but I had Because I use a lot of ketchup and so and I use so much that a guy Walked over and said that's a lot of He had to say it to me buddy. He goes. Hey man. That's a that's a bunch of kitchen on a nitrates in there Yeah, it's very uncomfortable because I was like I just want to eat my ketchup. That's why if I can get alone with some ketchup It's dangerous. It's bad. It's bad. I can go ketchup on a big potato. You don't see that a lot I'm a big fan of it. Yeah, well just not on a regular baked potato, but a potato skin gotcha. Yeah, okay I never put ketchup on eggs on everything. Yeah How do you like your eggies by the way over medium over medium?

What's your typical up the middle? We're having breakfast. What do you like? Couple eggs over medium like bacon sausage. Yeah, I do. I mean, I think I've always skipped breakfast I got into a real big bad donut phase for a good bit. Mm-hmm crispy cream at Krispy Kreme Two days ago. He's still in the still in the face the face. A lot of times I get Starbucks and old fashioned donut to start. It kind of starts today. Okay. And then, yeah, I tell you, it's tough.

If you could do one meal, it's your birthday, right? It's my birthday, where are you going? What do you want? Is it like a steak? Is it, you know, let's go get really good Italian pizza Like is there like a tiny piece of McDonald's would be? Right out the play. Yeah, it's yeah But yeah Italian would be okay. Yeah, I could go I could do some fun pizza Chicago style pizza I like you're old enough to remember the the birthdays at McDonald's right with the with the cake with the yeah. Yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got that. I'm 48 that really got their hooks on me. Yeah, but that yeah Well, they said this I did like they had salads the shaken salad That shredded cheese. Yeah, yeah, that was awesome. Sorry. Yeah They want me to lose weight, yeah Trying to keep them alive Can you whistle with your fingers? No hmm? I wish I could double join it He just tried yeah, what is it? No? No? It's a good. They would go back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no Any fireworks at the house right now currently? No, not now got a pool with the crib we do now hot tub. Yeah connect it

Yeah, nice. Yeah, how are you on the tip and good tipper? Yeah, yeah, put it down. Yeah, you're like a deviled egg I love it that my mom makes my mom's deviled egg. She makes that one egg. She makes del leg That's the best what's the missus do in the kitchen? Does she make dinner usually? Yeah, she does. We make like Hello Fresh, like that kind of thing. And then, but yeah, so she would cook, she can cook. Gotcha.

But it's, again, no one's like, this is what we do. I would assume you got the good pots and pans. You got the Viking range, the Sub-Zs fridge. I don't think we have a sub z. No we have Something comparable. It's a Kenmore. Yeah. Yeah I think it's like fine. Yeah, you know, but it's yeah, we're not I Look, I there's more stuff. I would do my wife is is on the cheaper side Mm-hmm, so she doesn't really want you know, it's like when she gets something she doesn doesn't change much. I would change all the time because we would, I'd constantly have new stuff. Because

I mean, we grew up like that, like where, you know, in our, the two bedroom home, my parents' bedroom was, because it was my sister's room, me and my brother, and their bedroom was the den. So they just turned that into their bedroom. Gotcha. But then I'd come home all the time and furniture would be moved. So that was like,'t a magic trick. Yeah, well you come on My mom just would be like all right the couch is over there now this and just so it looks different gotcha My parents the dining room my parents bedroom went to the dining room at one point and then the den came back into play Okay, so there was a lot of there was a lot of change Yeah, a lot of change like that. So I like change.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah, you keep it fresh. Yeah. Yeah. It's the Christmas season. The lights you got to get to get the house lights on now. White lights on the house colored lights on the house. I think they're colored lights, but we had someone put them up. Okay. I did that this year. Yeah. Real tree fake tree. Fake tree. Fake tree. Fake tree. I don't we've never had a real tree. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Surprised at that a little bit. I mean I don't we don't you know it was again a lot of just getting the job done. Just do it. Doesn't matter there's one up. Yeah keep it up. Man I love it up Yeah, efficiency not a lot of tradition just kind of mostly we're doing it because you have to have it

Yeah, any turquoise like immigrants that you're trying to fit in trying to fit in but we've lived here forever Any turquoise jewelry? I don't think so It's a color yeah I'm not sure turquoise It's a color. Yeah Answer you said you're bold you ever own your own bowling ball or a whole queue Moan bowling ball still have it my real wife got it for me when we were first dating and it's a scream ball So the scream face from the movie scream

That was my favorite favorite. Scream. Yeah. Talking about trying to intimidate the other bowlers. I know what you did last summer. What the hell? Scream is your favorite movie? Yeah. Wow. Man, you might be taking the crown here, Mr. Barghetti.

I got to be honest with you. Holy shit. I've heard people say it's a pretty it's a fun movie. Yeah. Never my favorite movie. Yeah. I'm not saying I honestly was very I know I've had to reschedule on you guys a lot, but I've always wanted to come on this. King size bed now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sleep with the TV on.

I do not know. Don't sleep on your side. Sleep on your back. I sleep on my side. How many pillows? I love how he's got to act everything Yeah, two two under the head or no one on the head and holding one holding one. Yeah, okay respectable respectable Brushing your teeth in the shower Uh, not in the shower. Will you pee in there? Yeah in the shower? Yeah, yeah, I'll get everything else done. God damn. Yeah, but uh, yeah All right, uh any trophies on display at the house at the moment I threw a no-hitter when I was 12 there you go. Yeah, that's great that ball nice. Yeah, that's pretty good

It's pretty good, and then But yeah trophies No, you know we have a lot now a lot of posters and stuff like that. They would have in common Yeah, of course for sure of course, okay Huh just to go back with the basketball court today is that already dedicated to you like is it already up? It's not up yet. Well there be a ceremony. Yeah, and you I think yeah, I believe so I want to go to that awesome So yeah, so you guys come cover it You can have like the big pair of scissors and like cut the ribbon I hope so sure they should have you ever done that

No, that'd be pretty sweet. That'd be pretty sweet Cities Get that's not like once a year yeah Tennessee kid I I only get to ask that like once a year. You gotta ask him. Tennessee kid. I might have got a key to the city. Old Hickory's gotta give me at least an access card or something. We're Andrew Jackson's from Old Hickory.

So he's got a top dog. That's a tough one to beat. That'll be specials he got. That's what I'm saying. He sell at the Bridgestone Arena, huh? He's a fun guy. He has like big parties at the white hat, you know, yeah, well, you know, will you dance at a wedding? I'm not a big fan But I mean I'll get out there for a second to do okay. Give me a little bit slow dance

But yeah, yeah. Yeah. All right, uh-huh Our wedding I'm trying to think our wedding got married on Friday the 13th because it was cheaper. Scream? Yeah, it was cheaper to do it that day. And I did it because I didn't want to go up against college football because it was in college football season. So I felt, I was like, I don't want to make everybody miss college football. So I did it on Friday. We did it on Friday. What was the venue? Old Hickory Country Club. Okay.

There was, yeah, I was not a member there but Yeah, yeah very my remember DJ Just was like this old man my mom hired and he had one leg Really? Yeah Okay, he would play. I mean he just like he only had songs up to the 90s Yeah up to a certain day. Yeah, and then he was like he didn't have anything Rob bass three times in a row You open your eyes underwater in the pool. Oh, yeah I said I just said I did a joke about it on SNL Oh really? Because that's his first time at a raspberry. I was 40 years old so I never had a raspberry actual rat like a fruit

Yeah, we are very similar people. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah never had a raspberry. What'd you think of it? I liked them at the time, but now I've been far enough removed. I'm kind of back off Yeah, I don't think I won but that day when I had them I was like I don't so much I was at a nice I was at someone's house very nice house in California So like they're not they had someone bring the raspberry fresh fruit fresh fruit and then so I was at someone's house very nice house in California So like they're not they had someone bring the raspberry fresh fruit fresh fruit And then so I was like well, what's this and then I asked them what that was it's on the job I know what they are. Yeah, well and the joke they were said like they were like the bowl cuz that made that made more sense and

Then in the joke I say like why don't come for money so I didn't have raspberries I got still swim with my eyes open ah And I would never really I feel like some people don't get it But it's like swimming your eyes open is you come you have no money couldn't afford goggles. Yeah, so I never yeah that makes sense You still I still swim with my eyes open we did When I did I did a little tour Ten plus ten plus years ago with Fallon, and it was like me, Nick Thune,

Julian McCollough, Seth Herzog. And so we were on tour, and I remember when we were doing a show on Atlanta, so me and Thune were swimming that day, and then we would like race back and forth. And then my eyes got bloodshot red for the show. And then I could swim real far underwater How far pretty far I could do I do Olympic size pool really yeah, I think so I

but there's Also bragging about how far you can swim underwater As a throwaway I'm sure you're wondering Yeah But then he was like Rollaway to yeah Yeah But then he was like Because do you open your eyes in water and I mean I was like yeah thought I mean I thought everybody Yeah, how you gonna see the end of the high go hi exactly how you go see? Hit my head like an idiot. Yeah

Wow, I never thought it was I your that makes sense We've it's been a long, you know, longtime question But the lack of goggles makes so much more sense because if you have goggles, you don't need to worry about it. Yeah Yeah, I mean most people know what's going on. I just wanna know what's going on. Yeah There's nothing we could ask that would pull him out of this in the fourth quarter here. I'm, you know. Do you read? Are you a reader?

No. He doesn't listen to music. It goes. I did. I wrote a book. Comes out in May. There you go. There you go.

Gotta love a guy who can write a book and not read a book. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I respect that. That's the American dream right there. Yeah, I have to read it for the audiobook sure That's the that'll be the next book. Have you ever saved a Crown Royal bag? Yeah, I don't know if I I guess I did but yes, yeah, yeah that was big with us. Yeah, that was yeah Are you a frozen pizza guy? Oh, yeah, it's my favorite what? Tostinos Tostinos

Tostinos I did wait a little No, they wear box. They make a square box. Yeah Tostinos doesn't just make pizza rolls. They they have they have other oh, yeah, it's the organization. I would eat I used to you'd love that like a big Is the organization I would eat I used to love that like a pig He had a great one for a while so I could eat two of those so caught when I was going to vol State because we drove there lived at home, so I drive back we'd eat Toast either people here toastiness pizzas, and we put the one in I get pepperoni. I had it. I mean honestly I had it

Specs I had it Monday maybe a couple nights ago or last week. I had a toasting. It's still rocking. I mean, I I love those. Who's doing the grocery shopping at the house? Will you go? Well, no, I've never done it. No, no. It's yeah. My wife does it. But you can say, hey, get a couple of. She knows.

I mean, she met him in an Applebee. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's why you're sneaking out the Arby's anymore. Yeah You prefer the pizza rolls or a bagel bite? Hi bagel bite. Yeah, I like a nice bagel, but I don't like it too crispy. I get it I can eat stuff a little saw yeah, yeah ever been to a monster truck show Mmm, I think once yeah, I've been to and one time I went to a demolition derby. Yeah. Wow.

And it's like they did this one thing where you the cars would crash and it'd be whoever had the headlights last the longest. So they keep hitting each other. And then it gets eventually so it'd be dark. The lights are off. It's just headlights. And then whoever's headlights last the longest time That's great. That's like sudden death. Yeah, that's really good

First big check you got From comedy from comedy any crazy purchases We're like shouldn't have done that. Yeah. Oh Any silly purchases? I mean I've had silly purchases, but it was I never really did any where I wasn't able to do I gotcha. I got a check for five grand. You went out and bought like a wave runner or anything No, you're pretty responsible when it comes to all that right? Yeah throughout your career Fortunately when you growing up without money money never really meant anything too because we don't have it So then when you do get it, it's like,

I never took anything for money, I never did gigs specifically. I mean, you wanna make money, you just hope it's gonna, you just figure, if I'm not trying to go get the money, then I gotta just hope that the money's gonna work out. And so you just kinda do that. But yeah, I think, like, like first crazy money would have been like Economy Central presents maybe it might have been like 15 grand you got

Something uh I bought a watch a tag watch so every special I buy Every special I'll buy a watch every special you buy yourself a watch yeah We're on and it kind of like this this one I wore on the special that comes out on Christmas Eve today. So it's like so yeah just to kind of like have a marker it's like one real thing to be like so I can always be like well this was this special this was I had one for SNL I had one for you know. I like that. That's a classiest thing about you. Yeah, that's pretty good. Yeah Ladies and gentlemen, mr. Nate Barghetti As we said the special comes out December 24th your friend Nate Barghetti out on Netflix and the Christmas special is gonna be streaming On Paramount Plus. Yeah, which how crazy is that you got a Christmas special? It's crazy It's awesome right. It's like Lauren Michaels produced it Streeter Sadell Mikey day created with me and it's old-school variety Kind of feel so it's all yeah, but you were a hot guy back in the day Not I mean, I don't know I'd been having him I remember he yeah, but I don't

We were big Andy Griffith. Yeah, I'm sure Griffith was what we left. I liked he ha I liked I liked the idea of the variety Yeah, yeah, I think it's super cool that you're you know super fun bringing that back. Mm-hmm. I love it, buddy We love you. Yeah, we can't thank you enough for coming in Congratulations on everything you're killing it. You're one of the best we got and we're very happy. Thank you. Thank you for sorry I had you know, I know it took a little bit. No, no It was worth it. Yeah well well worth the wait. You opened it up with falling down a cliff What do you got for guys we're announcing tour dates early in January

So get sure to get those tickets you can sign up for the email list at our you garbage comm we love you Yeah, we love you again. We love you. See you guys