Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Nathan Macintosh: Gay Gun Club

Episode Date: March 9, 2020

Our pal and comedian Nathan Macintosh is our guest this week. We talk McDonald's, growing up without a dad, and what its like to live in Canada.  You may know Ian from The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fal...lon, Conan on TBS, and The Late Show with  Stephen Colbert.  SUBSCRIBE, RATE & REVIEW! Have a garbage question? Email! AreYouGarbage@gmail.com

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Starting point is 00:00:00 welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast this is are you garbage I'm your host H Foley self-proclaimed suburban Philly garbage and sitting directly across the dumpster is my illustrious co-host who is from a long line of pure bread northeast Philly trash in there like tix baby that's right fucking a lot of blue-collared jobs coming out of his clay a lot of no-show jobs too look I'm
Starting point is 00:00:51 not trying to be rude man you're clearly garbage walking landfill four hours ago to text me are you ready to do my podcast in four hours ago buddy I'm up I'm drinking coffee I'm reading the paper and then you you come in late to your podcast garbage trash late first time I have ever been late to anything involving comedy in 11 years trash the MTA fuck yeah the MTA the MTA it's not that you probably fell asleep and woke up in 1130 I gotta get out of here you're in a maple syrup coma they're never on time the MTA these these trains they go up they go down buddy get up get the hell out there get
Starting point is 00:01:30 on the get on a get on a platform I gotta get my program here that voice you here to my right is our illustrious guest this week did I say illustrious twice garbage your word I know your word of the day calendar from 1999 ladies gentlemen we are so happy to have this gentleman here he's a great friend of ours he's been on a tonight show he's been on Conan forums all over the country all over the world ladies and gentlemen mr. Nathan Mcintyre did it we did it we got me in the building on time I don't know how it happened I was on the MTA too maybe they just like me you know what I mean yeah the train let me
Starting point is 00:02:06 tell you something I'm sorry you also probably took the same train or close to no I take a separate train I look I'm I'm one of the people you know what I mean there's a separate train when you're one of the people and sure and the driver does come out and he goes look everybody your upper class yeah you're clearly decent people that work we'll get you to where you want to go on time we're gonna get you that guy that's that's that's eating ice cream in February on the on the platform he's gonna be late he's not the TV off the fucking egg egg sandwich dripping down his chest see that guy who's sweating in
Starting point is 00:02:36 February he's gonna he's gonna be late to his appointment sweat you where he's hot out there not gonna lie I mean it's muggy it is it's muggy it's sticky this is not winter whatever good I'm happy to be here thank you guys for having me so both heroes big fans we are so happy to have you here real sorry real quick I just want to say to the listener rate review and subscribe on iTunes get that out of the way real quick listen you fucking bozos all right this plane off the ground third attempt here at a fucking successful podcast and I ain't going back to fucking waiting tables I'll tell you that right now so you take
Starting point is 00:03:10 your chubby little fingers on up and hit the fucking subscribe button tell a fucking friend right in review to goddamn thing let's keep this thing fucking moving and if you got the YouTube there on your your internet service subscribe on YouTube you can watch us and subscribe to us and follow us on Instagram and Twitter relax let's get into it okay let's get into it Nathan you're here to find out if you are garbage okay so we're gonna sit we're gonna goof around a little bit we're gonna talk we're gonna have some last we're gonna you know do this little bit of that little coffee look maybe look
Starting point is 00:03:39 well whenever you want never gonna play a little game sound good yeah man I'm already here no that sounds bad I'm out of here that's it man I was like no at this point time no neither the verdict by me I don't want to be here anymore I want nothing to do with this we could just go get some omelets I'd love an omelet what do you put an omelet depends depends on my offering or what do you mean it's funny you mentioned that because that was something I thought you know what I was thinking we should call we should call garbage confessions the week we should say things that we did that was garbage to start it off and I
Starting point is 00:04:10 got a couple today possibly late no to stop with the late I'm late once I mean you're also I mean you're an idiot if they want to believe that you've been late for one thing ever in your life 11 years in comedy I'm not I'm always 10 minutes early see must have been stabbed then some crazy happen out there if you've never been late in your life Nate I don't want to call myself a hero but there's some blind children that got out of a fire safely about 25 I'm happy to hear that what gay gun club did you get those glasses out by the way those rose-colored shooters perfect I don't even want to let that live where a gun
Starting point is 00:04:54 club perfect drawberries oh man dude don't even you're only going to hurt what you just said you got a Cadillac it's dark outside sometimes you want some color in your life glasses sitting around they're actually Liz's but I told her to buy them because I wanted to wear them I have some underwear of my girlfriend same thing happened that's why you're late to go for a thong this morning hey babe grab that bubble your head on a radiator all right so what do you got there Tubsy what do I got it's sad that and yes I am garbage because that is a serious question when you ask me what do I get an omelet or
Starting point is 00:05:39 somebody asked me what do I get for breakfast it is a situation where it depends who I'm with you know what I mean if I'm by myself you would be really you would be sad I think he's like Denzel and a man on fire or a five fuck this man on fire yeah man he's about to paint his master just recently watch that oh that's a good man on fire Dakota fanning man that kid's got some chops for a nine-year-old to pay that she's good real good so what do you get an idea get back to your dream breakfast if you have a dream breakfast you're by yourself you get you get a disgusting amount of food if I'm on myself he gets
Starting point is 00:06:15 a burrito if I'm in an omelet now listen I want to preface this all right me and my girlfriend we've been doing plant base for like two and a half weeks is that true yes that's true I've been doing it for like three months I'm down about six all right you don't have to one up me no I'm fair enough Jesus Christ I'm saying I'm on the same the same deal that's great we treated ourselves a little Chinese on Sunday you had fish last night I was with you yeah all right wait fish fish look I get what you're saying about the fish I've had fish three weeks in here he I already got him twice that he's not doing a plant-based
Starting point is 00:06:44 Chinese food he and more salad maybe I mean it's not a plant-based fucking diet all right relax Jillian Barbary if you are look at fish fish it's a fucking efficient fish barely knows what's going on they don't know fish a fish is a rock you ever got a fish the fuck you know about fish shut the fuck up he's wearing glasses like this in that movie yeah the backseat the guy we he's like what kind of ford you get the fish yeah we're gonna fish we just go in and ask for a fish you just walked in the store and go I want to fish so what do you get this on that a fish a burrito Chinese food general towel cheddar homeless well
Starting point is 00:07:21 you know it's you know it's trash if you're ordering delivery if your first meal a day is delivery and it's not breakfast like you get you get sometimes you'll get like Chinese food for breakfast when you wake up I used to in the past yes yes that's true yeah it's a classy operation right there you wake up let me get some fucking egg rolls like the like the coal out my eyes you wanna get a dim sum yeah I took a little time off this summer ever lacks a little bit so two and a half weeks plant-based plant-based okay good and you're feeling good I'm feeling good I like the hair like the glasses thank you
Starting point is 00:07:54 but I slipped up this morning and what happened I got on the business end of an egg a waffle have you ever heard of a little thing called a full bottle of whiskey I ate a whole cow no I I got through the car that's why that's why I called you and I ended up over at the Mickey D's drive-thru why you call me I mean you could you know me why didn't you go hey buddy phone a friend you're up the suicide hotline it's a fucking egg you and I'm saying get give me in the car with you we'll both run through the drive-thru I love a sausage muffin and I haven't had one in so long but a sausage McMuffin no egg cheese are you
Starting point is 00:08:30 out of your sausage and cheese the salt that's also a dollar fifty buddy it's a good one to spend six bucks this is fucking egg the egg doesn't even the eggs not a real egg I don't trust their eggs it is a real egg that's what they say I don't buy it is that I've seen them crack them they didn't used to have a little ring the 90s was wide open it was like a while west back there it was like it was like a couple of napkins and they painted the middle yellow and they don't I mean there's no way they're using real eggs I don't care look I'm a McDonald's fan in terms of like Mick cafes a party you like their coffee
Starting point is 00:09:06 they're pocket 99 cents all day all in and out the door and it's good it's good it's a good it's a good coffee that's trash Mick cafe is a party I don't call it Mick I don't try to church it up I don't call it a cafe I don't look at the sign I don't go let me get a Mick cafe I don't see you got a table when you go in I don't say hey you do okay doing a back to smoking can I get a Mick cafe I'm saying the coffee has been coming down right do you understand yeah I can't wait to one of us flips this table so anyway if you would have called you texted me at 8 30 in the morning right I was up okay okay you said were you
Starting point is 00:09:39 really reading the paper I was reading the paper I was reading cotton no I'm not reading the paper no okay I a little grapefruit you know what I mean getting the juice we're talking with this black I drink black coffee I see in the Instagram stories of the French press and all that stuff I was years ago hey thanks man you remember these things you know of course so anyways if you would have been like buddy look we're both up I'm going to McDonald's what's a private thing okay that's like jerking off to me I don't want anybody to see it well it's like you jerk off five times a day then pal I'm embarrassed by so what
Starting point is 00:10:08 did you get I'm you know what did you get for McDonald's what happened I got a sausage egg sausage egg McMuffin and then I get a hash brown I put the hash brown on top of the egg sausage egg McMuffin and then I got a McGriddle oh with bacon and ham had them deep fry that shove it up my ass and two whole milks I can't even I saw I I went to a diabetic home all right but this also let's put a pin in that we'll get right back he definitely I'm garbage he definitely passed out for three hours and woke up late that's why I did not sleep I got on the train at the right time I went for a job right now I was
Starting point is 00:10:46 doing shit at the house whatever well either way I've never I've never had myself the McGriddle never had it I know I it's too much I know it's got the syrup in the bread right it's got the syrup in the bread it's a pancake Nathan but basically right it's yeah it's like yeah I've never had it when it came out I mean I was like yo this is this is when I was basically it stopped drinking I remember the McGriddle came out and I was like man if this had come out when I was drink drinking it would have been bad are you kidding me I would have walked right in there and I've been like I'm a gay gun owner give me
Starting point is 00:11:21 fucking don't don't look at me put the tapes in a bag to let's go move it I want you to empty out these security cameras because nobody's gonna see this thing anyways I I remember the time I was like yo McGriddle they seem like a party but I've ever had one it's a good time have you ever had the McRib no I know I'm trash because you guys your family has it on Christmas don't you give it to each other for Christmas I got you three McRib I got you three oh this worked out in our favor which ones are better assorting them which one feels heavier all the ones you give out of a bite I'm addicted to fast food so I
Starting point is 00:11:59 know I know I'm fucking I'm trash I was at one point in time yeah yeah I really was up there you're Tim Horton's guy right no considered fast food now it is yeah at one point time at one point time well now they have one point of time on the tables oh one point time I mean one point in time you needed you needed a tux to get in their smoking area if you wanted to walk in there and eat cigarettes while drinking coffee you needed to look a certain a certain story they used to just Sunday's best Sunday's best they used to just be straight up coffee and baked goods and then they became I mean you can get chilly in
Starting point is 00:12:36 there now you can get you know whatever yeah so it is now I think now you could consider it fast food but at one point time but I was a I was a may McDonald's guy for sure you remember the big extra fuck I used to pound those oh that is the big extra was it was a little bit bigger of a patty tattooed on his arm I would I am yo if you had the big extra tattooed you're I might be like what a hero yeah the big extra it was like a little bit bigger of a patty and they put this seasoning salt on it yo no also that might have been a regional thing with the seasoning salt because I found that different Nathan's a Canadian
Starting point is 00:13:07 comedian just everybody knows out there grew up north there Toronto Canada no Nova Scotia Nova Scotia Nova Scotia and no speaking of local things Nova Scotia has the Mclopster the Mcblubber the Mclopster the Mclopster real thing wow not fucking with you as a friend all year round it's a no no just like a certain Thanksgiving Thanksgiving Canadian Easter Christmas they have a week apart my birthday they have it's a little it's a it's a it's a lobster roll right yeah okay that's a lover of the roll that's what they give that's what the middle and they give you you want to you want to
Starting point is 00:13:43 trash they give you a little bib that has a lobster on it with the sandwich I mean that's a party that's garbage but that's a party is that not a fun time you go when you get a lot of smoking a little I wish kick kicking a crab into the sea crab kick with it he's got a he's got a union delegate hat he's got a hard hat a cool belt hey what the fuck you looking at jerk off eat my goddamn rule move on but anyways yeah the have you tried it me no no my mom used to pound these though really pound up she's like can you go down to this can you go down and McDonald's and get me a Mclopster this is a this is a
Starting point is 00:14:19 do you know so this is a little deeper but did you know you were garbage when you were growing up no see I don't think you're not garbage now yeah you and you're very adamant about not being garbage you have a very you live by every strict set of rules that prevent you from navigating back into garbage oh yeah you're running from something nobody wears pink sunglasses let's every fence you jump or it's been it's been dark for 72 days in New York and maybe just want a little color in your life you know you're always you always dresses fresh I always looks nice I've been to his apartment his apartments
Starting point is 00:15:00 neat clean organized he always carries himself very well he hates garbage sorry because he always calls it out when somebody does something trashy can't stand well let me tell you okay you want to you want to get like kind of serious the being late thing right and we're I'm off it you do whatever you want you know what I mean if you want to if you want to roll through you to acknowledge that I'm never late I'm sorry I was late it's fine that you're late I'm not a late guy it's going in your folder for sure I seriously do not care this is my thought on this I used to yell at my roommate about this because we were he
Starting point is 00:15:34 lived right across the hall from me in the apartment years ago right and we both these we were writing on we were trying to write some fucking thing sure we were like 10 a.m. we're gonna leave here go to the the library rent like a little conference room sort of like this and we're gonna write up this thing I'd be out there at 945 yeah coffee done whatever I hear him fucking bumbling like mr. beaning in his goddamn room he's got a bucket on his head walking on his head you know a mop and his fucking he he'd come out 1015 he'd be like all right let's go I go what the fuck what happened and he's like it's 1015 when
Starting point is 00:16:05 you're talking like oh look man if you had a job sir and you had to be there at 10 would you not be there at 10 yeah and he's like well you're getting paid for that I go yeah okay do you not want to be paid for this you ignorant fucking cocksucker not talking about you you gotta fucking show up to things I don't need this lesson I know I'm not talking to you I'm not taking it I'm talking in general in general in general here I'll take a Riddlin so we said Riddlin holy shit you are can we get a big breakfast take the edge off a little bit somebody say Riddlin and Aerosmith tickets okay back to a festival real
Starting point is 00:16:44 quick and then ask me any questions you want yeah this way I used to do with so big extra I loved we also have an in Nova Scotia these things called Donairs which is like it's like a Euro but we got our own sauce trash sauce okay it's delicious though but it's like yo they okay it's canned milk yeah sugar well don't yet yeah and I know it what I know what a donor vinegar no but this is like this special donair sauce okay that only these coast makes okay can milk sugar it's sweet sauce on meat well what thank god wait what sweet sauce on a meat and and my blood run just got the chills what kind of me like donair meat like a
Starting point is 00:17:26 Euro meat like like lamb that the shaved lamb I love it but I grew up with it but also I used to do Wendy's okay you guys Wendy's fan here Wendy's fan what am I fucking jerk off okay that's just confirmation Wendy's spicy chicken sandwich okay I'm familiar Nate okay no no I'm just I'm saying and you get the you asked them to give you the cheese that they use for the baked potato the melty all but you put that on top of the spicy chicken sandwich let me tell you something that is a pot guys what are we you know you what are we talking about a couple hefty bags in here to get him out of here that's a true sign of
Starting point is 00:18:07 garbage and I do the same thing because I so good you're like yeah can you take this from that oh good over here I usually customize my orders at McDonald's because I want I want to know what's fresh and to I like it how I have so together double cheeseburger no pickles no ketchup extra onions and mac sauce nothing in there's fresh you know what I mean they're what they're put it they don't have one of them sitting back there they gotta make it I got I okay now I hear what you're saying you're like if you order something so specific specific they gotta yeah that's like a that's another fucking asshole
Starting point is 00:18:41 move to is the let me get fries without salt because then they have to make them yes that's a it's like that's a fucking jerk because they can't even use the tray anymore now they got to basically put in their hand burning third degrees do you ever see some piece of shit just given the guys the people behind the counter at fast food places like just just being awful to them I never do that even if something's fucked up it's like I knew what I was getting into when I walked in this joint yeah sure I know I'm not this lady that when Popeye's chicken sandwich came out I had to try it and the fucking place was packed and
Starting point is 00:19:15 this fucking bitch fucking is in there they didn't send you a preview they didn't mail you on a week ahead of time I got a screener we got to get the big guy in Queens the influencers we get them out there they send me a screener the fat of the fat we got to get their sandwiches I mean the fat and the furious is what it would be two fat two furious two fat two furious anyway this lady was bitching out bitching at the guy she's like at least fries fresh and she made him give a real accent on that but a real accent was it okay so the way it was gives gives makes makes him give her the fries or she can taste that's why are
Starting point is 00:19:54 these fries fresh did you ever know they're not fresh you're a fucking fucking Cabernet you don't get the fucking taste test a little drier you fucking prick you hear it rumble in the box did you ever did you ever work at a fast food place no never a fast food no yeah I did I worked at a and W in you for the NW I know they have like a couple they have a couple of stands at really shitty malls so it's not well they have hot dogs it's a and W they'll they'll they're one of their catalogs is a hot dog yeah what do they call that yeah I don't know but called a whistle dog and the reason is because
Starting point is 00:20:32 it's a hot dog what I call my dick hello cheese and bacon that thing's a party yeah I've had them oh I've had them in the shamanie mall shout out to the shamanie mall fuck probably even a thousand one they did for like a week and everybody's like what the fuck is this corny Canadian shit yeah but it's a brick it's a W with a brick and mortar take I'll tell you this they were they were a lot of root beer floats to a lot of root beer floats and they got a delicious fucking burger I'm not gonna fuck I'm not lying to you yeah this place Dairy Queen is you know is their way around a burger a burger so no a burger no Dairy Queen's
Starting point is 00:21:02 burgers absolutely how do you know what they do have that's good my body is a temple Nate do you know what they do have at burger I'm not sorry Dairy Queen that's a good that fucking fry basket the chicken strip basket you know I'm talking about comes with Texas toast and gravy tell me you know what I'm talking about hard to fuck up a chicken finger is it that's not true thank you it's not you can fuck up a chicken I'm not saying you can't even say it's impossible no my dumbass mom but these are good chicken thing two years you know what I mean what were you raving about here with a whistle dog pretty good I
Starting point is 00:21:36 keep putting these on taking them off I have a good time we're having fun you know very very food heavy this episode shows were garbage yeah well I mean you too just went off on fucking you each have your own opinion like you were given the state of the Union on each each fucking fast food restaurant you've never had that you've never had the chicken strip basket from Jeff of course how fucking good is it Texas toast having it as wedding what are you talking about I'm also a big french fry in milkshake guy I've done that yeah you kidding me I've done that buddy a fry fry I'll tell you this McDonald's fries and
Starting point is 00:22:08 they're fucking ice cream oh yeah when the machine's working like he's ice cream is a second to none it's a party the only the only the only place you could kind of even rival it is Dairy Queen at McFlurry I'd say I'd say a blizzard is better than a McFlurry but both are rock solid fucking investments good yeah upgrades I had a I had a thing this this this weekend where I was I'm very I'm very like you I'm very I have rules of like you're late you're early you're late it's like very very strict in my head but you know when I was yeah exactly so exactly so I went out to I went out to brunch with a group of friends that are
Starting point is 00:22:45 in from town for everything for that we're here for the wedding and I'm married this week I know I know I know you know what's funny I think some people might think that's garbage I love it the whole idea is to spend $700 million for fucking who for fucking what you know what I mean look oh they's not dropping that one day no this kid smart with his money yeah this guy came to me one time he goes what do you got in the bank trash with other people found talking about he goes come on man he goes up looking he goes when he got the bag buddy what the fuck are you doing yeah
Starting point is 00:23:19 what do you got in the bank $58 what happened to fucking no hard cash what liquid man I got this board would work in Hawaii for fucking Christmas I'm going down to Miami for a couple of days I'm laying out over here kids kids at the podcast to do is nose wide open he's asking for 10 what happened 10 that's it what I didn't ask you directly what you I guess you did no no first one we get back to this Bronx then I gotta know why you're going to Miami but yes you did he's we're gonna watch the dog track at the end of the bar you want to talk trash New York comedy club this guy was in the fits up and he goes like
Starting point is 00:24:05 this he goes so what do you what do you use what do you what do you got what do you got what do you mean what do I got he goes you know in the bank he's like you probably got what do you get what do you got 60 70 I look like a guy that saves his money I respect that yeah I can tell plus you don't booze a lot you're not out there you don't booze you don't eat out you know not really know you bring snacks with the I see with your all I mean but that but that's that's a medical condition dietary that's a medical condition I don't know you're a medical no I don't really have a medical condition but if I my blood sugar
Starting point is 00:24:34 will just fucking drop and I just do this why I always have to have some kind of I don't treat that's it you know I mean off candy one day it'll be hard candy you don't need like an old man as Werther's yeah I'll have all have bags of those on me you know I mean nothing wrong with the word a Werther's out of a cardigan pocket you know it's pretty good to a nip you ever have a nip whoa we can't say that this day and age it's called coronavirus it's the little caramel candy you know I'm talking about yeah of course can we can I throw this guy you gotta get back it's fine it floats but how do they not have and maybe it's
Starting point is 00:25:06 maybe it's cuz it's too old what about a Werther's McFlurry no that's for like seven people I know but but right I mean a Werther you grind that up you get the Werther's I'm in I'm in Werther's McFlurries who am I talking to here yeah get me all the way to look I've watched two episodes of McMillian's get me to the top I want to talk to these people Werther's McFlurry gonna happen how many when you go to McDonald's who's just sitting around daytime it is all people generians this what they got they got a coffee from fucking yesterday sitting there with their legs crossed yelling another guy they wish they could
Starting point is 00:25:46 smoke they can't cuz the fucking you know remember when you could smoke the little tin foil the little are you aluminum ashrays they had at the McDonald's yes the little smoking areas oh what a part and I don't know I used to get sad when I would see there's such a weird run out of chicken nuggets when you would have been down the slide at the play place with the monkey bars on bed what else get one more one more I'm good I'm good Grimace stop fucking you Grimace is a great name and I also love just a purple teardrop what the fuck is he he's a nugget no the thing he's a nugget is
Starting point is 00:26:16 that what he's supposed to be a purple nugget he's a bad nugget he might be a bad nugget oh he's not cuz he was around before the nuggets even came out that's probably I remember when the nuggets dropped it was like thriller he lives his life in two two errors pre-nugget and post-nugget bn and cn the album came out nuggets I used to not be able to eat at McDonald's in there when the old guys are in there cuz I felt sad there was like one old guy sitting by himself he had nobody left and like that's all like that was his lunch for the day and it had to be perfect and it probably wasn't always perfect and he was
Starting point is 00:26:54 sitting there sad eating a burger that he didn't really want and drinking his coffee with no one to talk yeah but now looking back now do you get older that guy was probably fucking as happy as a peach no one bother no he's got his fucking burger he's got a cup of coffee he's few laughs nice I'm sad about this though how about this give that guy a fucking worthers McFlurry yeah there's McFlurry you act like I'm the guy stopping these people from having worthers McFlurry somebody's fucking stopping it they're not in there I don't fucking see him in there get him in there I like the idea thank you I'm in
Starting point is 00:27:22 too what happened this brunch what could you invest in the McFlurry what do you mean money what if I got the people together if I got the people together what's liquid that's what I want to know I just need you have this afternoon I can get in the room right and be like look most of your here here here's here's your here's your fucking sure this is your audience drunks also you know they know I mean no they don't they don't give up they made them a cut the McCafe solely kind of for this right but they're really just trying to compete with fucking no yeah they weren't making that for the old they're not I know but
Starting point is 00:27:55 they for the old people they're not doing anything for anybody that's not true they got kids they got McDonald's doesn't care so McDonald's never never cares actual McDonald's doesn't care head office yeah they don't care head office gives a fuck now they shit around and they try to figure out how can we fucking put more nuggets into people yeah they want hip crap young urban never here never here with a guy said he goes the owner he goes I don't I'm not in the hamburger business I'm in the real estate business yeah yeah yeah you all saw the founder okay and that was 50 years ago he's talking about the
Starting point is 00:28:24 marketing department recently bro okay but here's what they've done okay they they they they understand that they drunk people go in there they know that sure they know the teens go in there sure they know that kids want to be there everybody but but but but but what they're not what they're fucking missing out on is the old what do you want me to call oh my god yeah I'm on I'm on board with yeah I said on the horn Nate I bet you I spent more money in McDonald's than every old person that's every in the McDonald's since it opened they go in they get a cup of coffee I'm not gonna fight with you on
Starting point is 00:28:54 that it's a big it's a big cafe okay let's get it right what happened at this brunch so I'm very considerate of the people around me I tend to be you know and I feel I feel that people are not considerate at a restaurant it's a fucking trashy move I feel like you weren't raised right and I you're not being considered people's people's space I guess your time yeah and a big one for me is you know anywhere's FaceTiming in public oh yeah oh it's fucking have you done it no I don't FaceTime period but anytime I do see so many FaceTime without headphones you grow up I know grow the fuck up I know not your house
Starting point is 00:29:30 dude I was at we're at this brunch and there's like 15 of us which is already too much for me my anxiety is good it's too this guy to lay let's order this guy doesn't know what he wants this guy is asking for this on the side it's too fucking get don't like tight spaces and loud noises you know what I mean no he put 14 other people in here give me an open field and a fucking 360 degree field of vision I'm in shave your helmet on what about a gun that shoes confetti yeah but then somebody they start FaceTiming and they're passing it around the table discuss it to every bike my group disgusting my group and I'm
Starting point is 00:30:04 like holy shit yeah I'm the fucking piece of trash in this restaurant who was on the phone there was a baby who can't even understand oh yeah they're showing a baby on the back at the back at the back where was the baby in Germany a German baby I mean well this makes a little bit more sense yeah German baby Germany I mean that's a whole different but everybody was from Germany yeah but they're not in Germany currently I know but the baby can't talk the baby just make noises you're not you're not even gaining anything yeah from the but you're seeing a baby that you're probably not gonna see I get what you're
Starting point is 00:30:37 saying I got you're passing it around I had to get up and leave I'm gonna I get what you're saying I caught a smoke out front I'm like I gotta I gotta fucking blow this one out you weren't that you weren't that guy in that situation if it's a that you get a little you get listen you get a little bit of a pair I know what you're saying you get a little bit of a pass when you're a large group celebrating something now if you're acting like fucking assholes that's annoying in my book that was an asshole move you're already invading the space is a 15 person in a restaurant that holds 40 15 people 15 person I get
Starting point is 00:31:08 I get what you're saying but again if you if you you know this is a baby from overseas this is an overseas baby it's a German baby don't see that they're all German they're all in Germany they're looking at a baby in the restaurant on German baby you don't have a baby what fucking know about a baby yeah baby what's a German baby look like they have Russian baby head in the back no no they don't you know Russian baby heads no when a kid is like a flathead in the back you know baby sometimes have flat heads be sure yeah I knew that wasn't it's a visual bit it's a visual bit you got to see one go that guy's got
Starting point is 00:31:45 Russian baby head and then it makes sense I gotta say whatever you want to get into a hop into the game here I think we should hop into the game here gang as I said before ladies and gentlemen our guest today is mr. Nathan Mackintosh some of his credits include the Conan O'Brien show the play a show Clancy Jimmy Fallon already performs all over he's been on a couple of Canadian television shows what's that one mr. GZ what's it called mr. GZ is that it where young GZ moves to Canada and gets a job at a Harvey's Jerry D's mr. D mr. D yeah very funny yeah forms all over the place okay
Starting point is 00:32:21 forms regularly in New York City but we're here to find out is he garbage you have a lot of aunts and uncles are you how about your family this isn't part of that I'm just curious how much money you got in here right now tell me 20 bucks how much nine grand a brick a cash future what's going on yeah the rapper anyways I got you thank you I didn't know this guy this really get really good at talking to the future was to see really have $9,000 that's what I'm working with I think you know you got some cash that's how I live that's tiny little thing credit card debit card a couple bucks in there
Starting point is 00:33:06 you know to me like that one that's a $1 bill and I think it's all 50 not gonna lie really I think I did how many aunts and uncles I have what do you mean how big is my family yeah I mean family little family that's all I'm asking little let's say little family little family there's people out there but people don't talk to them you know yeah oh I got that for sure and you have a brother correct I got a brother yeah he just turned his birthday the happy birthday brother what do you turn birthday GZ what do you turn 32 how much money does he have less he's not all he's got a big dog yeah I got a big dog
Starting point is 00:33:41 Bart you know what I mean I got $200 to my name I'm I'm older than him yeah all right younger brother yeah okay Nathan now we've tailored the game a little bit towards your great your Canadian handicapped perfect Kevin you want to start it off yes this is all this is all this I had written this prior to you guys have different questions yeah the last conversation does anyone in your family play the McDonald's Monopoly game it doesn't exist anymore but when it did exist I think so I think I remember yeah I'll say yes absolutely yes yeah yeah these episodes but dude for a quarter
Starting point is 00:34:23 pounder for your third of the day dude how great was the McDonald's Monopoly game that was a party you got the fucking board out you go win a fries yeah yeah come on there's grease all over your fingers you know I knew a kid who knew a kid this is all fat guy lure I knew a guy who knew a guy I knew a kid who knew a kid never works I hung out with this kid the unwrapped a quarter pounder it was a full pounder his dad get his book of records his dad owned a McDonald's and he gave him the inside scoop mm-hmm there is no board walk or there is no park place it's all set up mm-hmm just to get you coming
Starting point is 00:35:03 back yeah are they put thank God us were they put like one they put one you have not seen Macmillan's yet no it's on HBO I haven't watched it Macmillan's about the scam about the scam of the McDonald's Monopoly game yeah it's really good yeah the mob buddy yes me one more time the answer might change quarter yeah seriously seriously he needs something he needs it can be sorry browse so yeah no there was a McDonald's Monopoly also follow up question did anybody ever collect like the toys that they gave out at the happy meals like to collect their horse oh collected them way you got them they'll
Starting point is 00:35:40 played with them let me tell you what we had you have like you know where they they had I'll touch them that's my fucking no we don't like buddy not the toy aspect only tell me we did have oh the fucking Batman forever glasses oh the glasses dude the engraved glass no you got the fucking Riddler on the side you got to face I wanted all of those if you got movie fucking stemware you're fucking trash I was ten years old I wanted the goddamn cup if you got merchandise fucking cutlery hit the bricks thanksgiving dinner on Superman plates no I know what he's talking about can you pass the bulls you know the
Starting point is 00:36:20 fuck we had the we had the Olympic mugs that they that they gave out in the 80s and they also had a line they had like they would give out a glass with like remember the Riddler down in the dishwasher it become like but that was a good glass you put some iced tea in that day the Batman for everyone's didn't have they were just glass they didn't have any painter they were fucking I know I know I know I know also to you know we used to collect when they came out this was a big indicator of fucking trash you might not understand because you're canoeing you look at when the state quarters came
Starting point is 00:37:02 out buddy that was big in our family they only sold it and you're at your McDonald's no I'm just saying is this the way that I really remembered but first of all that guy selling on eBay so you know that's worth a couple of bucks your uncle what you're talking about probably you he's trying to sell us on the camera what would you pay for something like that if you were at the 60 or 70 you can afford this the state quarters you don't remember that one like take out the kippies in the trash my stepmother gone out and bought like the yes they only released like two one three like but she had a map of the US and
Starting point is 00:38:07 like put each one in it what now what she thought that was gonna be like our college fund she's like wait till it's all wait till this hits that's like being big was worth six bucks but it wasn't even worth it's waiting quarters remember everybody had beanie babies they thought they were gonna be worth fucking yeah I thought they were gonna I think I got an uncle still sitting on a couple of those we had savings bonds you're a savings bonds because you grew up during World War two what are you talking about T bills that was big in my day rations I was a kid they made it sound like all I had to do was like wait
Starting point is 00:38:38 50 years and cash those savings bonds in and I was on easy you made like 17 I think we cashed in when I was in like third grade I fucking was there with James J Braddock beat max bear savings bonds something really trashy we did in the we did hands across America you too young to remember that I did that with your mom all right go what else you got holy I haven't asked a question yet like I said I wanted to say before I've been I've been doing something pretty trash yeah I've been taking scam calls a lot lately almost every time they call I do like asking for a job I can commute to be late but I'll be there gonna be late
Starting point is 00:39:21 but I'll be there me it's your question what do you make 60 70 what are you pulling down over there no I bring them in like oh hello and like I got an old lady I'm like fuck you motherfucker and they always get mad at me to your cursed out by a dude on one of those things I'll tell you you know that's not trashy that's like that's like like yeah that's like hot it that's somebody who needs a friend that's what that is Jesus Christ dude call me next time all right I'm in Astoria yeah yeah yeah fair enough um all right let's see here have you ever ran out onto the field during a sporting event no have any of your
Starting point is 00:39:55 family have any of your family cars ever had wood paneling as your family ever owned a car we've slept in a car does that count wood paneling you know you know the wood of course I do I'm thinking the wind star I know that the dodge wind star Chrysler fucking Chrysler wind star that's what it was two by four is all over that thing that was mean the fucking one of the cut of the hacks on Jim Duggan coming down the road back in the day there's the Ryan's back in the day you were rich if you know I don't know I don't think so what's some shit cars though yeah my mom one time we're driving out she had a Chevy Blazer oh
Starting point is 00:40:36 blazers were nice for like a week and a half these and this beat up fucking but she's always got crunched up they see every blazer you saw missing a bumper those are fucking a trash bag for a window I never drove it as a kid but it didn't look first of my mom's a tiny little woman I don't have a high center and I think I think I don't know if you could see a lot of stuff so I think you're just like I'm coming in and you just close your eyes and hope for the best hopefully they see it a blazer shifting late I remember one time though we're speeding down the road dude every blazer was crunched up yes every way
Starting point is 00:41:09 they had dent because it was like it was like a Bronco it was like a trash Bronco yeah it was a poor man's bro it's like if you can't afford to be OJ why do you be one of these other fourth string players you don't you've never heard of a semi-pro Jane a blazer I can one up that for a little while we had a GMC Jimmy but my mom one time driving the blazer speeding down the road she's like fuck fuck fuck just screaming fuck ran out of gas and then we're just sitting there on the side of the road me my brother and we didn't want to say anything to her because she's a psycho she fucking scream it is so she's just
Starting point is 00:41:52 like fuck so she she waved somebody down and then says to he ended up calling somebody and we waited for a tow truck we're there for a while anyways the guy goes so what happened she goes my mom goes well I was low on gas so I figured I'd outrun the gas she's like I figured I if I spent I went faster quicker yes it's a time thing yes you're gonna run out of gas in three minutes and the guy goes you're burning gas quicker yeah anyways that's a story there that's this prick breaking your mom's balls this fucking help us out how people used to hit on people in the 90s let me tell you crooked tits was that was that
Starting point is 00:42:30 hit man hey what are you doing you dumb broad what do you got a blazer with no gas what are you doing later I'm gonna pick you up what do you want to Melrose place again these two kids no dad who these guys you know so is it serious with the redhead in the back what's the other one watch what's going on here pretty kind of weird one don't how much money you make you got 60 70 look at what you got I fully go let me see alright I got one has your mom I got one and then a follow-up to that as well has your mom ever cut your hair I don't know that's that's not a no I don't think so I'm trying to think it'd have to be like
Starting point is 00:43:16 when I was real real young sure not like a baby that's whatever yeah yeah I don't I don't know man I don't remember that I remember she let our hair grow one day there's a picture me and my brother basically like you know just we're standing in on a rock and Peggy's Cove with a little lobster fucking I was just your neighbor's backyard there you go that's a couple basics that was her fucking man cave what was the name he's called what was the name of your grocery store growing up IGA it was called like International Grocery Association Indian industrial complex they only take food stamps IGA but no
Starting point is 00:43:58 my mom didn't let our hair grow for a long time yeah let it grow but the name the family like what the fuck is going on with your and we were like you got to do something like Jim Morris we used to regularly maintain each other to keep pushing haircuts off like I would shave the back of my brother's neck my mom would trim over my ears yeah also follow-up have you ever had a rat tail no I had one a little bit I did fry my mom in it though we're cooking they weren't cooking but they were cooking you know what I mean they were like on the cusp of becoming the next thing and then some fucking guy you know I just
Starting point is 00:44:40 woke up and we're like what are we doing yeah for a minute people were it's disgusting to look at I do right I like a mullet though I'm not I'm not back in a lot of college rock mullets now mullets all the night is back for the young the 20s they're all rocking champion feel a rat yeah mullets are not a not a not a you can you have a nice mullet you cannot can we agree on this you can have a nice mullet you cannot have a nice rat no no no you can't do it you can't do it what happens in the front rat tail on the front fucked in the back yeah right on the front mullet in the back oh yeah that's fine that dude's fucking
Starting point is 00:45:18 playing by the mayor of fucking white trashville that's what that is I grown up remember one time my mom we used to cut our hair with like just clippers in the summer yeah on them and the one time we were trying to be cool and she put a she tried to put a number one in the back of my head like I'm number one look like a fucking yeah look like that's the type of like in Gia did not look at the number one that's the type of thing to that's like mom you know you're getting me killed right oh yeah I thought it was cool I'm like oh yeah I want until you go to school and the kid just fucking claps or in the back and then
Starting point is 00:45:49 fucking head and a locker all because I thought I was numero one number one at what I was seven I was a fat seven-year-old yeah number one wasn't even the number one in my house number 11 yeah this kid stinks Nathan do you know what KD is craft dinner yep yeah that's what they call it's what they call macaroni and cheese craft dinner what cuts with garbage excuse me over there yeah it's not Mac objection garbage your honor please garbage the yeah no craft dinner is a real is a thing though in Canada like we have macaroni and cheese but then there's also craft dinner that's a more proper
Starting point is 00:46:29 thing it's a box called craft dinner got you and yeah man we used to fuck that that was I mean dude you get a box of that you boil that up you sprinkle that bullshit cheese onto it you fucking wait what's craft dinner what's in that that's I'm saying it's it's it's macaroni and cheese but it's called craft dinner it's her fan it's like it's for a nice for fancy dinner you know I mean fancy there when you're when your uncle gets out of gets off parole you know yeah we said the big thing casserole when I was a kid was chicken on a crumb where do you make it a fucking dumpster that's horrible chicken ala crumb it was like a
Starting point is 00:47:02 hot chicken dish no that's not maybe that sounds like a lawyer's like the what fuck he's coming in to end it chicken on the crumb you know the crumbs over cover this is craft dinner you cocksucker craft dinner that's macaroni and cheese that's like it's like the difference between Valvita and craft it's the same shit no wait it was called crap wait a second it's always been craft macaroni and cheese and we called it craft dinner yeah oh yeah yeah we're trying yeah I always thought it was just called craft dinner I thought if you looked at a box it would say craft dinner but no craft it's that okay yeah
Starting point is 00:47:36 when I was a kid ramen we used to call it oodles of noodles yeah I remember that yeah oodles of noodles well I think that was a brand oodles of noodles was a brand at some point you have steak comes when you were a kid steak comes last week what are you talking about not bad north steak comes no just like chopped up meat Elios pizza no wow have you ever drank milk out of a bag yeah we have bag milk but that doesn't make a garbage Canada does bag milk you say milk to few states no buddy milk I don't say milk I say milk that's what I do not say milk you sell milk yeah milk milk out of a bag okay Peggy steep
Starting point is 00:48:10 that was a that was a bed and breakfast at Peggy's Cove Peggy's Cove craft dinner in a bag of milk all the day bag of milk buddy we do bet not all of them look we got the fucking containers too but Canada does do Canada's a little backwards bags of milk backwards how many people you're milking a bag is a baby the milk in Canada is probably better than the milk here and I used to drink milk out of that's coming from a cow so you know what means my cousin's up north a real uppity I'll tell you that's a good guy grew up around them you know what I mean yeah you got a dot I can't have it have you ever owned a George Forman grill no
Starting point is 00:48:45 oh I loved me a George Forman I loved a George Forman yeah George Forman grills apart there was one in my old house my roommate had it all right but a nice to cook on it let me tell you something you put out you put all you put anything a chicken breast with a chicken breast about it yeah I love a George Forman you know the George Forman story the story George Forman yeah the grill yeah do you yeah I think it's supposed to go to Hulk originally yes okay what am I fucking jerk off I want you don't really garbage you know I'm saying maybe you just think it's you know I own the whole juicer to or whatever he got out of the
Starting point is 00:49:16 deal whatever the Hulk got screwed on the deal he opened up they offer them they offered at the Hulk Hogan first yeah do you want the grill and he goes I ain't gonna fuck give me the pasta make pasta mania yeah he opened a restaurant called pasta mania and he lost out like you know 50 billion oh god all of it yeah he lost all the goddamn money possible yeah all right you got one Foley have you or any member of your family have you or any member of your family ever knownly went to an uncle cracker or kid rock concert I don't think so you were any member of my family because I got a friend who's been a kid rock concert easily been a
Starting point is 00:49:53 kid rock friend is kid rock I got a friend you should meet it's called garbage it's garbage man he's got to take you out with that guy first of all I understand where kid rock has ended up kid rocks got a couple good songs we kid me Bob the Bob bang-to-bang diggy that song is great cowboy is a guy was a hot fucking song cocky's a good time this garbage cowboys are great have you ever hung out on a couch in a garage you know man I go yeah I've been on a pull-out I've slept on a pull-out a garage I grew up in a lot of apartments man so we didn't we didn't do but I have I have hung out my friends my
Starting point is 00:50:32 friend that we have hung out in storage rooms so that's that's that's that's the equivalent of a garage storage room yeah also tell you this my mom pronoun but where I'm from this how people pronounce that they would say grudge grudge when I talk to my mom she's like she's a grandfather's out in the garage yeah your grandfather's garbage I think we gotta we gotta wrap up let's do two more here you got one and I got one have you or any female member of your family ever flash a security guard to gain access to a concert or live performance that's surely the no how involved is that question how involved is that that's
Starting point is 00:51:11 coming from were you ever in a your mom ever blown anybody in a rat to get to the main stage were you ever in an episode of Family Matters season 4 yeah where her cool is trying to get pet like that's it that's it do you like ketchup flavored potato chips yeah but the you're just talking you basically you're asking me is are you Canadian are you Canadian and yes and listen I can tell by the looks I'm in glasses he's Canadian buddy have you ever had a ketchup chip yes it's a fucking fiesta right it's good stuff thank you all right I got one have you ever walked through a drive-thru talk about bringing it full
Starting point is 00:51:43 circle gentlemen yeah yeah that's a bad see if you're what if you're like trying to jump to register that you're a car so many people have done it that they had to put a sign up so it can't be gone reason that I did it was a friend of mine worked there at night they would close the front so I would that's even worse I would go and be like buddy is Mike in there oh he would hook us up on the fucking nuggets though he'd give you like a bag like a bag bag great good friend right there talk about full circle thank you everybody for for listening as real quick again please rate review and subscribe follow us on Instagram yes
Starting point is 00:52:16 gang everything at Nathan Macintosh yes Nathan Macintosh calm Twitter and Instagram I got a podcast called positive anger you listen to it on everything perfect over all the stuff you know what I mean listen we're getting this thing off the ground so please it's very important you guys rate and review it like Kevin said please subscribe to the YouTube channel follow me on Twitter H Foley on ice follow me on Instagram at Foley Graham's Kevin you already gave all your having Ryan comedy across all platforms right and H Foley.com we thank you guys so much and we'll see you next week for another
Starting point is 00:52:45 exciting edition of are you garbage am I garbage by the way oh yeah trash goodbye

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