Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Nathan Macintosh: Gay Gun Club
Episode Date: March 9, 2020Our pal and comedian Nathan Macintosh is our guest this week. We talk McDonald's, growing up without a dad, and what its like to live in Canada. You may know Ian from The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fal...lon, Conan on TBS, and The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. SUBSCRIBE, RATE & REVIEW! Have a garbage question? Email! AreYouGarbage@gmail.com
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welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find
out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash now
here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley hey everybody out there and
welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast this is are you garbage I'm your
host H Foley self-proclaimed suburban Philly garbage and sitting directly
across the dumpster is my illustrious co-host who is from a long line of pure
bread northeast Philly trash in there like tix baby that's right fucking a lot
of blue-collared jobs coming out of his clay a lot of no-show jobs too look I'm
not trying to be rude man you're clearly garbage walking landfill
four hours ago to text me are you ready to do my podcast in four hours ago
buddy I'm up I'm drinking coffee I'm reading the paper and then you you come
in late to your podcast garbage trash late first time I have ever been late to
anything involving comedy in 11 years trash the MTA fuck yeah the MTA the
MTA it's not that you probably fell asleep and woke up in 1130 I gotta get
out of here you're in a maple syrup coma they're never on time the MTA these
these trains they go up they go down buddy get up get the hell out there get
on the get on a get on a platform I gotta get my program here that voice you
here to my right is our illustrious guest this week did I say illustrious
twice garbage your word I know your word of the day calendar from 1999 ladies
gentlemen we are so happy to have this gentleman here he's a great friend of
ours he's been on a tonight show he's been on Conan forums all over the
country all over the world ladies and gentlemen mr. Nathan Mcintyre did it we
did it we got me in the building on time I don't know how it happened I was on
the MTA too maybe they just like me you know what I mean yeah the train let me
tell you something I'm sorry you also probably took the same train or close to
no I take a separate train I look I'm I'm one of the people you know what I
mean there's a separate train when you're one of the people and sure and the
driver does come out and he goes look everybody your upper class yeah you're
clearly decent people that work we'll get you to where you want to go on time
we're gonna get you that guy that's that's that's eating ice cream in
February on the on the platform he's gonna be late he's not the TV off the
fucking egg egg sandwich dripping down his chest see that guy who's sweating in
February he's gonna he's gonna be late to his appointment sweat you where he's hot
out there not gonna lie I mean it's muggy it is it's muggy it's sticky this is not
winter whatever good I'm happy to be here thank you guys for having me so
both heroes big fans we are so happy to have you here real sorry real quick I
just want to say to the listener rate review and subscribe on iTunes get that
out of the way real quick listen you fucking bozos all right this plane off
the ground third attempt here at a fucking successful podcast and I ain't
going back to fucking waiting tables I'll tell you that right now so you take
your chubby little fingers on up and hit the fucking subscribe button tell a
fucking friend right in review to goddamn thing let's keep this thing fucking
moving and if you got the YouTube there on your your internet service subscribe
on YouTube you can watch us and subscribe to us and follow us on
Instagram and Twitter relax let's get into it okay let's get into it Nathan
you're here to find out if you are garbage okay so we're gonna sit we're
gonna goof around a little bit we're gonna talk we're gonna have some last
we're gonna you know do this little bit of that little coffee look maybe look
well whenever you want never gonna play a little game sound good yeah man I'm
already here no that sounds bad I'm out of here that's it man I was like no at
this point time no neither the verdict by me I don't want to be here anymore I
want nothing to do with this we could just go get some omelets I'd love an
omelet what do you put an omelet depends depends on my offering or what do
you mean it's funny you mentioned that because that was something I thought you
know what I was thinking we should call we should call garbage confessions the
week we should say things that we did that was garbage to start it off and I
got a couple today possibly late no to stop with the late I'm late once I mean
you're also I mean you're an idiot if they want to believe that you've been
late for one thing ever in your life 11 years in comedy I'm not I'm always 10
minutes early see must have been stabbed then some crazy happen out there if
you've never been late in your life Nate I don't want to call myself a hero but
there's some blind children that got out of a fire safely about 25 I'm happy to
hear that what gay gun club did you get those glasses out by the way those
rose-colored shooters perfect I don't even want to let that live where a gun
club perfect drawberries oh man dude don't even you're only going to hurt
what you just said you got a Cadillac it's dark outside sometimes you want
some color in your life glasses sitting around they're actually Liz's but I
told her to buy them because I wanted to wear them I have some underwear of my
girlfriend same thing happened that's why you're late to go for a thong this
morning hey babe grab that bubble your head on a radiator all right so what
do you got there Tubsy what do I got it's sad that and yes I am garbage
because that is a serious question when you ask me what do I get an omelet or
somebody asked me what do I get for breakfast it is a situation where it
depends who I'm with you know what I mean if I'm by myself you would be really
you would be sad I think he's like Denzel and a man on fire or a five fuck
this man on fire yeah man he's about to paint his master just recently watch
that oh that's a good man on fire Dakota fanning man that kid's got some chops
for a nine-year-old to pay that she's good real good so what do you get an
idea get back to your dream breakfast if you have a dream breakfast you're by
yourself you get you get a disgusting amount of food if I'm on myself he gets
a burrito if I'm in an omelet now listen I want to preface this all right me
and my girlfriend we've been doing plant base for like two and a half weeks is
that true yes that's true I've been doing it for like three months I'm down about
six all right you don't have to one up me no I'm fair enough Jesus Christ I'm
saying I'm on the same the same deal that's great we treated ourselves a
little Chinese on Sunday you had fish last night I was with you yeah all right
wait fish fish look I get what you're saying about the fish I've had fish
three weeks in here he I already got him twice that he's not doing a plant-based
Chinese food he and more salad maybe I mean it's not a plant-based fucking
diet all right relax Jillian Barbary if you are look at fish fish it's a fucking
efficient fish barely knows what's going on they don't know fish a fish is a
rock you ever got a fish the fuck you know about fish shut the fuck up he's
wearing glasses like this in that movie yeah the backseat the guy we he's like
what kind of ford you get the fish yeah we're gonna fish we just go in and ask
for a fish you just walked in the store and go I want to fish so what do you get
this on that a fish a burrito Chinese food general towel cheddar homeless well
you know it's you know it's trash if you're ordering delivery if your first
meal a day is delivery and it's not breakfast like you get you get sometimes
you'll get like Chinese food for breakfast when you wake up I used to in
the past yes yes that's true yeah it's a classy operation right there you wake
up let me get some fucking egg rolls like the like the coal out my eyes you
wanna get a dim sum yeah I took a little time off this summer ever lacks a
little bit so two and a half weeks plant-based plant-based okay good and
you're feeling good I'm feeling good I like the hair like the glasses thank you
but I slipped up this morning and what happened I got on the business end of an
egg a waffle have you ever heard of a little thing called a full bottle of
whiskey I ate a whole cow no I I got through the car that's why that's why I
called you and I ended up over at the Mickey D's drive-thru why you call me I
mean you could you know me why didn't you go hey buddy phone a friend you're up
the suicide hotline it's a fucking egg you and I'm saying get give me in the
car with you we'll both run through the drive-thru I love a sausage muffin and I
haven't had one in so long but a sausage McMuffin no egg cheese are you
out of your sausage and cheese the salt that's also a dollar fifty buddy it's a
good one to spend six bucks this is fucking egg the egg doesn't even the
eggs not a real egg I don't trust their eggs it is a real egg that's what they
say I don't buy it is that I've seen them crack them they didn't used to have a
little ring the 90s was wide open it was like a while west back there it was
like it was like a couple of napkins and they painted the middle yellow and
they don't I mean there's no way they're using real eggs I don't care look I'm a
McDonald's fan in terms of like Mick cafes a party you like their coffee
they're pocket 99 cents all day all in and out the door and it's good it's good
it's a good it's a good coffee that's trash Mick cafe is a party I don't call
it Mick I don't try to church it up I don't call it a cafe I don't look at
the sign I don't go let me get a Mick cafe I don't see you got a table when you
go in I don't say hey you do okay doing a back to smoking can I get a Mick cafe
I'm saying the coffee has been coming down right do you understand yeah I can't
wait to one of us flips this table so anyway if you would have called you
texted me at 8 30 in the morning right I was up okay okay you said were you
really reading the paper I was reading the paper I was reading cotton no I'm
not reading the paper no okay I a little grapefruit you know what I mean
getting the juice we're talking with this black I drink black coffee I see in
the Instagram stories of the French press and all that stuff I was years ago
hey thanks man you remember these things you know of course so anyways if you
would have been like buddy look we're both up I'm going to McDonald's what's
a private thing okay that's like jerking off to me I don't want anybody to see it
well it's like you jerk off five times a day then pal I'm embarrassed by so what
did you get I'm you know what did you get for McDonald's what happened I got a
sausage egg sausage egg McMuffin and then I get a hash brown I put the hash
brown on top of the egg sausage egg McMuffin and then I got a McGriddle oh
with bacon and ham had them deep fry that shove it up my ass and two whole
milks I can't even I saw I I went to a diabetic home all right but this also
let's put a pin in that we'll get right back he definitely I'm garbage he
definitely passed out for three hours and woke up late that's why I did not
sleep I got on the train at the right time I went for a job right now I was
doing shit at the house whatever well either way I've never I've never had
myself the McGriddle never had it I know I it's too much I know it's got the
syrup in the bread right it's got the syrup in the bread it's a pancake
Nathan but basically right it's yeah it's like yeah I've never had it when it
came out I mean I was like yo this is this is when I was basically it stopped
drinking I remember the McGriddle came out and I was like man if this had come
out when I was drink drinking it would have been bad are you kidding me I
would have walked right in there and I've been like I'm a gay gun owner give me
fucking don't don't look at me put the tapes in a bag to let's go move it
I want you to empty out these security cameras because nobody's gonna see this
thing anyways I I remember the time I was like yo McGriddle they seem like a
party but I've ever had one it's a good time have you ever had the McRib no I
know I'm trash because you guys your family has it on Christmas don't you
give it to each other for Christmas I got you three McRib I got you three
oh this worked out in our favor which ones are better assorting them which one
feels heavier all the ones you give out of a bite I'm addicted to fast food so I
know I know I'm fucking I'm trash I was at one point in time yeah yeah I really
was up there you're Tim Horton's guy right no considered fast food now it is
yeah at one point time at one point time well now they have one point of time
on the tables oh one point time I mean one point in time you needed you
needed a tux to get in their smoking area if you wanted to walk in there and
eat cigarettes while drinking coffee you needed to look a certain a certain story
they used to just Sunday's best Sunday's best they used to just be straight up
coffee and baked goods and then they became I mean you can get chilly in
there now you can get you know whatever yeah so it is now I think now you could
consider it fast food but at one point time but I was a I was a may McDonald's
guy for sure you remember the big extra fuck I used to pound those oh that is the
big extra was it was a little bit bigger of a patty tattooed on his arm I
would I am yo if you had the big extra tattooed you're I might be like what a
hero yeah the big extra it was like a little bit bigger of a patty and they
put this seasoning salt on it yo no also that might have been a regional thing
with the seasoning salt because I found that different Nathan's a Canadian
comedian just everybody knows out there grew up north there Toronto Canada no
Nova Scotia Nova Scotia Nova Scotia and no speaking of local things Nova
Scotia has the Mclopster the Mcblubber the Mclopster the Mclopster real thing
wow not fucking with you as a friend all year round it's a no no just like a
certain Thanksgiving Thanksgiving Canadian Easter
Christmas they have a week apart my birthday they have it's a little it's
a it's a it's a lobster roll right yeah okay that's a lover of the roll that's
what they give that's what the middle and they give you you want to you want to
trash they give you a little bib that has a lobster on it with the sandwich I
mean that's a party that's garbage but that's a party is that not a fun time you
go when you get a lot of smoking a little I wish kick kicking a crab into the
sea crab kick with it he's got a he's got a union delegate
hat he's got a hard hat a cool belt hey what the fuck you looking at jerk off eat
my goddamn rule move on but anyways yeah the have you tried it me no no my
mom used to pound these though really pound up she's like can you go down to
this can you go down and McDonald's and get me a Mclopster this is a this is a
do you know so this is a little deeper but did you know you were garbage when
you were growing up no see I don't think you're not garbage now yeah you
and you're very adamant about not being garbage you have a very you live by
every strict set of rules that prevent you from navigating back into garbage
oh yeah you're running from something nobody wears pink sunglasses let's
every fence you jump or it's been it's been dark for 72 days in New York and
maybe just want a little color in your life you know you're always you always
dresses fresh I always looks nice I've been to his apartment his apartments
neat clean organized he always carries himself very well he hates garbage sorry
because he always calls it out when somebody does something trashy can't
stand well let me tell you okay you want to you want to get like kind of serious
the being late thing right and we're I'm off it you do whatever you want you
know what I mean if you want to if you want to roll through you to acknowledge
that I'm never late I'm sorry I was late it's fine that you're late I'm not a
late guy it's going in your folder for sure I seriously do not care this is my
thought on this I used to yell at my roommate about this because we were he
lived right across the hall from me in the apartment years ago right and we both
these we were writing on we were trying to write some fucking thing sure we were
like 10 a.m. we're gonna leave here go to the the library rent like a little
conference room sort of like this and we're gonna write up this thing I'd be
out there at 945 yeah coffee done whatever I hear him fucking bumbling
like mr. beaning in his goddamn room he's got a bucket on his head walking on
his head you know a mop and his fucking he he'd come out 1015 he'd be like all
right let's go I go what the fuck what happened and he's like it's 1015 when
you're talking like oh look man if you had a job sir and you had to be there at
10 would you not be there at 10 yeah and he's like well you're getting paid
for that I go yeah okay do you not want to be paid for this you ignorant fucking
cocksucker not talking about you you gotta fucking show up to things I don't
need this lesson I know I'm not talking to you I'm not taking it I'm talking in
general in general in general here I'll take a Riddlin so we said Riddlin
holy shit you are can we get a big breakfast take the edge off a little
bit somebody say Riddlin and Aerosmith tickets okay back to a festival real
quick and then ask me any questions you want yeah this way I used to do with so
big extra I loved we also have an in Nova Scotia these things called Donairs
which is like it's like a Euro but we got our own sauce trash sauce okay it's
delicious though but it's like yo they okay it's canned milk yeah sugar well
don't yet yeah and I know it what I know what a donor vinegar no but this is like
this special donair sauce okay that only these coast makes okay can milk sugar
it's sweet sauce on meat well what thank god wait what sweet sauce on a meat and
and my blood run just got the chills what kind of me like donair meat like a
Euro meat like like lamb that the shaved lamb I love it but I grew up with
it but also I used to do Wendy's okay you guys Wendy's fan here Wendy's fan what
am I fucking jerk off okay that's just confirmation Wendy's spicy chicken
sandwich okay I'm familiar Nate okay no no I'm just I'm saying and you get the
you asked them to give you the cheese that they use for the baked potato the
melty all but you put that on top of the spicy chicken sandwich let me tell
you something that is a pot guys what are we you know you what are we talking
about a couple hefty bags in here to get him out of here that's a true sign of
garbage and I do the same thing because I so good you're like yeah can you take
this from that oh good over here I usually customize my orders at McDonald's
because I want I want to know what's fresh and to I like it how I have so
together double cheeseburger no pickles no ketchup extra onions and
mac sauce nothing in there's fresh you know what I mean they're what they're
put it they don't have one of them sitting back there they gotta make it I
got I okay now I hear what you're saying you're like if you order something so
specific specific they gotta yeah that's like a that's another fucking asshole
move to is the let me get fries without salt because then they have to make them
yes that's a it's like that's a fucking jerk because they can't even use the
tray anymore now they got to basically put in their hand burning third degrees
do you ever see some piece of shit just given the guys the people behind the
counter at fast food places like just just being awful to them I never do that
even if something's fucked up it's like I knew what I was getting into when I
walked in this joint yeah sure I know I'm not this lady that when Popeye's
chicken sandwich came out I had to try it and the fucking place was packed and
this fucking bitch fucking is in there they didn't send you a preview they didn't
mail you on a week ahead of time I got a screener we got to get the big guy in
Queens the influencers we get them out there they send me a screener the fat of
the fat we got to get their sandwiches I mean the fat and the furious is what
it would be two fat two furious two fat two furious anyway this lady was
bitching out bitching at the guy she's like at least fries fresh and she made
him give a real accent on that but a real accent was it okay so the way it was
gives gives makes makes him give her the fries or she can taste that's why are
these fries fresh did you ever know they're not fresh you're a fucking
fucking Cabernet you don't get the fucking taste test a little drier you
fucking prick you hear it rumble in the box did you ever did you ever work at a
fast food place no never a fast food no yeah I did I worked at a and W in you
for the NW I know they have like a couple they have a couple of stands at
really shitty malls so it's not well they have hot dogs it's a and W
they'll they'll they're one of their catalogs is a hot dog yeah what do they
call that yeah I don't know but called a whistle dog and the reason is because
it's a hot dog what I call my dick hello cheese and bacon that thing's a party
yeah I've had them oh I've had them in the shamanie mall shout out to the shamanie
mall fuck probably even a thousand one they did for like a week and everybody's
like what the fuck is this corny Canadian shit yeah but it's a brick it's a
W with a brick and mortar take I'll tell you this they were they were a lot of
root beer floats to a lot of root beer floats and they got a delicious fucking
burger I'm not gonna fuck I'm not lying to you yeah this place Dairy Queen is you
know is their way around a burger a burger so no a burger no Dairy Queen's
burgers absolutely how do you know what they do have that's good my body is a
temple Nate do you know what they do have at burger I'm not sorry Dairy Queen
that's a good that fucking fry basket the chicken strip basket you know I'm
talking about comes with Texas toast and gravy tell me you know what I'm
talking about hard to fuck up a chicken finger is it that's not true thank you
it's not you can fuck up a chicken I'm not saying you can't even say it's
impossible no my dumbass mom but these are good chicken thing two years you know
what I mean what were you raving about here with a whistle dog pretty good I
keep putting these on taking them off I have a good time we're having fun you
know very very food heavy this episode shows were garbage yeah well I mean you
too just went off on fucking you each have your own opinion like you were
given the state of the Union on each each fucking fast food restaurant you've
never had that you've never had the chicken strip basket from Jeff of course
how fucking good is it Texas toast having it as wedding what are you talking
about I'm also a big french fry in milkshake guy I've done that yeah you
kidding me I've done that buddy a fry fry I'll tell you this McDonald's fries and
they're fucking ice cream oh yeah when the machine's working like he's ice cream
is a second to none it's a party the only the only the only place you could
kind of even rival it is Dairy Queen at McFlurry I'd say I'd say a blizzard is
better than a McFlurry but both are rock solid fucking investments good yeah
upgrades I had a I had a thing this this this weekend where I was I'm very I'm
very like you I'm very I have rules of like you're late you're early you're late
it's like very very strict in my head but you know when I was yeah exactly so
exactly so I went out to I went out to brunch with a group of friends that are
in from town for everything for that we're here for the wedding and I'm
married this week I know I know I know you know what's funny I think some
people might think that's garbage I love it the whole idea is to spend $700
million for fucking who for fucking what you know what I mean look oh they's not
dropping that one day no this kid smart with his money yeah this guy came to me
one time he goes what do you got in the bank
trash with other people found talking about he goes come on man he goes up
looking he goes when he got the bag buddy what the fuck are you doing yeah
what do you got in the bank $58 what happened to fucking no hard cash what
liquid man I got this board would work in Hawaii for fucking Christmas I'm
going down to Miami for a couple of days I'm laying out over here kids kids at
the podcast to do is nose wide open he's asking for 10 what happened 10 that's
it what I didn't ask you directly what you I guess you did no no first one we
get back to this Bronx then I gotta know why you're going to Miami but yes you
did he's we're gonna watch the dog track at the end of the bar you want to
talk trash New York comedy club this guy was in the fits up and he goes like
this he goes so what do you what do you use what do you what do you got what do
you got what do you mean what do I got he goes you know in the bank he's like
you probably got what do you get what do you got 60 70 I look like a guy that
saves his money I respect that yeah I can tell plus you don't booze a lot you're
not out there you don't booze you don't eat out you know not really know you
bring snacks with the I see with your all I mean but that but that's that's
a medical condition dietary that's a medical condition I don't know you're
a medical no I don't really have a medical condition but if I my blood sugar
will just fucking drop and I just do this why I always have to have some kind of
I don't treat that's it you know I mean off candy one day it'll be hard candy you
don't need like an old man as Werther's yeah I'll have all have bags of those on
me you know I mean nothing wrong with the word a Werther's out of a cardigan
pocket you know it's pretty good to a nip you ever have a nip whoa we can't say
that this day and age it's called coronavirus it's the little caramel
candy you know I'm talking about yeah of course can we can I throw this guy you
gotta get back it's fine it floats but how do they not have and maybe it's
maybe it's cuz it's too old what about a Werther's McFlurry no that's for like
seven people I know but but right I mean a Werther you grind that up you get the
Werther's I'm in I'm in Werther's McFlurries who am I talking to here yeah
get me all the way to look I've watched two episodes of McMillian's get me to the
top I want to talk to these people Werther's McFlurry gonna happen how
many when you go to McDonald's who's just sitting around daytime it is all
people generians this what they got they got a coffee from fucking yesterday
sitting there with their legs crossed yelling another guy they wish they could
smoke they can't cuz the fucking you know remember when you could smoke the
little tin foil the little are you aluminum ashrays they had at the
McDonald's yes the little smoking areas oh what a part and I don't know I used
to get sad when I would see there's such a weird run out of chicken nuggets when
you would have been down the slide at the play place with the monkey bars on
bed what else get one more one more I'm good I'm good
Grimace stop fucking you Grimace is a great name and I also love just a purple
teardrop what the fuck is he he's a nugget no the thing he's a nugget is
that what he's supposed to be a purple nugget he's a bad nugget he might be a
bad nugget oh he's not cuz he was around before the nuggets even came out
that's probably I remember when the nuggets dropped it was like thriller he
lives his life in two two errors pre-nugget and post-nugget bn and cn the
album came out nuggets I used to not be able to eat at McDonald's in there when
the old guys are in there cuz I felt sad there was like one old guy sitting by
himself he had nobody left and like that's all like that was his lunch for
the day and it had to be perfect and it probably wasn't always perfect and he was
sitting there sad eating a burger that he didn't really want and drinking his
coffee with no one to talk yeah but now looking back now do you get older that
guy was probably fucking as happy as a peach no one bother no he's got his
fucking burger he's got a cup of coffee he's few laughs nice I'm sad about this
though how about this give that guy a fucking worthers McFlurry yeah there's
McFlurry you act like I'm the guy stopping these people from having
worthers McFlurry somebody's fucking stopping it they're not in there I don't
fucking see him in there get him in there I like the idea thank you I'm in
too what happened this brunch what could you invest in the McFlurry what do you
mean money what if I got the people together if I got the people together
what's liquid that's what I want to know I just need you have this afternoon I
can get in the room right and be like look most of your here here here's here's
your here's your fucking sure this is your audience drunks also you know they
know I mean no they don't they don't give up they made them a cut the
McCafe solely kind of for this right but they're really just trying to compete
with fucking no yeah they weren't making that for the old they're not I know but
they for the old people they're not doing anything for anybody that's not true
they got kids they got McDonald's doesn't care so McDonald's never
never cares actual McDonald's doesn't care head office yeah they don't care
head office gives a fuck now they shit around and they try to figure out how
can we fucking put more nuggets into people yeah they want hip crap young
urban never here never here with a guy said he goes the owner he goes I don't
I'm not in the hamburger business I'm in the real estate business yeah yeah yeah
you all saw the founder okay and that was 50 years ago he's talking about the
marketing department recently bro okay but here's what they've done
okay they they they they understand that they drunk people go in there they
know that sure they know the teens go in there sure they know that kids want to
be there everybody but but but but but what they're not what they're fucking
missing out on is the old what do you want me to call oh my god yeah I'm on
I'm on board with yeah I said on the horn Nate I bet you I spent more money
in McDonald's than every old person that's every in the McDonald's since it
opened they go in they get a cup of coffee I'm not gonna fight with you on
that it's a big it's a big cafe okay let's get it right what happened at this
brunch so I'm very considerate of the people around me I tend to be you know
and I feel I feel that people are not considerate at a restaurant it's a
fucking trashy move I feel like you weren't raised right and I you're not
being considered people's people's space I guess your time yeah and a big one for
me is you know anywhere's FaceTiming in public oh yeah oh it's fucking have you
done it no I don't FaceTime period but anytime I do see so many FaceTime
without headphones you grow up I know grow the fuck up I know not your house
dude I was at we're at this brunch and there's like 15 of us which is already
too much for me my anxiety is good it's too this guy to lay let's order this guy
doesn't know what he wants this guy is asking for this on the side it's too
fucking get don't like tight spaces and loud noises you know what I mean no he
put 14 other people in here give me an open field and a fucking 360 degree
field of vision I'm in shave your helmet on what about a gun that shoes
confetti yeah but then somebody they start FaceTiming and they're passing it
around the table discuss it to every bike my group disgusting my group and I'm
like holy shit yeah I'm the fucking piece of trash in this restaurant who was on
the phone there was a baby who can't even understand oh yeah they're showing a
baby on the back at the back at the back where was the baby in Germany a German
baby I mean well this makes a little bit more sense yeah German baby Germany I
mean that's a whole different but everybody was from Germany yeah but
they're not in Germany currently I know but the baby can't talk the baby just
make noises you're not you're not even gaining anything yeah from the
but you're seeing a baby that you're probably not gonna see I get what you're
saying I got you're passing it around I had to get up and leave I'm gonna I get
what you're saying I caught a smoke out front I'm like I gotta I gotta fucking
blow this one out you weren't that you weren't that guy in that situation if
it's a that you get a little you get listen you get a little bit of a pair I
know what you're saying you get a little bit of a pass when you're a large
group celebrating something now if you're acting like fucking assholes
that's annoying in my book that was an asshole move you're already invading the
space is a 15 person in a restaurant that holds 40 15 people 15 person I get
I get what you're saying but again if you if you you know this is a baby from
overseas this is an overseas baby it's a German baby don't see that they're all
German they're all in Germany they're looking at a baby in the restaurant on
German baby you don't have a baby what fucking know about a baby yeah baby
what's a German baby look like they have Russian baby head in the back no no
they don't you know Russian baby heads no when a kid is like a flathead in the
back you know baby sometimes have flat heads be sure yeah I knew that wasn't
it's a visual bit it's a visual bit you got to see one go that guy's got
Russian baby head and then it makes sense I gotta say whatever you want to
get into a hop into the game here I think we should hop into the game here
gang as I said before ladies and gentlemen our guest today is mr. Nathan
Mackintosh some of his credits include the Conan O'Brien show the play a
show Clancy Jimmy Fallon already performs all over he's been on a couple of
Canadian television shows what's that one mr. GZ what's it called mr. GZ
is that it where young GZ moves to Canada and gets a job at a Harvey's
Jerry D's mr. D mr. D yeah very funny yeah forms all over the place okay
forms regularly in New York City but we're here to find out is he garbage
you have a lot of aunts and uncles are you how about your family this isn't part
of that I'm just curious how much money you got in here right now tell me
20 bucks how much nine grand a brick a cash future what's going on yeah the
rapper anyways I got you thank you I didn't know this guy this really get
really good at talking to the future was to see really have $9,000
that's what I'm working with I think you know you got some cash that's how I
live that's tiny little thing credit card debit card a couple bucks in there
you know to me like that one that's a $1 bill and I think it's all 50 not gonna
lie really I think I did how many aunts and uncles I have what do you mean how
big is my family yeah I mean family little family that's all I'm asking
little let's say little family little family there's people out there but
people don't talk to them you know yeah oh I got that for sure and you have a
brother correct I got a brother yeah he just turned his birthday the happy
birthday brother what do you turn birthday GZ what do you turn 32 how much
money does he have less he's not all he's got a big dog yeah I got a big dog
Bart you know what I mean I got $200 to my name I'm I'm older than him yeah all
right younger brother yeah okay Nathan now we've tailored the game a little bit
towards your great your Canadian handicapped
perfect Kevin you want to start it off yes this is all this is all this I had
written this prior to you guys have different questions yeah the last
conversation does anyone in your family play the McDonald's Monopoly game it
doesn't exist anymore but when it did exist I think so I think I remember yeah
I'll say yes absolutely yes yeah yeah these episodes but dude for a quarter
pounder for your third of the day dude how great was the McDonald's
Monopoly game that was a party you got the fucking board out you go win a
fries yeah yeah come on there's grease all over your fingers you know I knew a
kid who knew a kid this is all fat guy lure I knew a guy who knew a guy I knew
a kid who knew a kid never works I hung out with this kid the unwrapped a
quarter pounder it was a full pounder his dad get his book of records his dad
owned a McDonald's and he gave him the inside scoop mm-hmm there is no board
walk or there is no park place it's all set up mm-hmm just to get you coming
back yeah are they put thank God us were they put like one they put one you
have not seen Macmillan's yet no it's on HBO I haven't watched it Macmillan's
about the scam about the scam of the McDonald's Monopoly game yeah it's
really good yeah the mob buddy yes me one more time the answer might change
quarter yeah seriously seriously he needs something he needs it can be
sorry browse so yeah no there was a McDonald's Monopoly also follow up
question did anybody ever collect like the toys that they gave out at the happy
meals like to collect their horse oh collected them way you got them they'll
played with them let me tell you what we had you have like you know where they
they had I'll touch them that's my fucking no we don't like buddy not the toy
aspect only tell me we did have oh the fucking Batman forever glasses oh the
glasses dude the engraved glass no you got the fucking Riddler on the side you
got to face I wanted all of those if you got movie fucking stemware you're
fucking trash I was ten years old I wanted the goddamn cup if you got
merchandise fucking cutlery hit the bricks thanksgiving dinner on Superman
plates no I know what he's talking about can you pass the bulls you know the
fuck we had the we had the Olympic mugs that they that they gave out in the
80s and they also had a line they had like they would give out a
glass with like remember the Riddler down in the dishwasher it become like
but that was a good glass you put some iced tea in that day the Batman for
everyone's didn't have they were just glass they didn't have any painter they
were fucking I know I know I know I know also to you know we used to collect
when they came out this was a big indicator of fucking trash you might
not understand because you're canoeing you look at when the state quarters came
out buddy that was big in our family they only sold it and you're at your
McDonald's no I'm just saying is this the way that I really remembered but first
of all that guy selling on eBay so you know that's worth a couple of bucks your
uncle what you're talking about probably you he's trying to sell us on the
camera what would you pay for something like that if you were at the 60 or 70
you can afford this the state quarters you don't remember that one like
take out the kippies in the trash my stepmother gone out and bought like the
yes they only released like two one three like but she had a map of the US and
like put each one in it what now what she thought that was gonna be like our
college fund she's like wait till it's all wait till this hits that's like
being big was worth six bucks but it wasn't even worth it's waiting quarters
remember everybody had beanie babies they thought they were gonna be worth
fucking yeah I thought they were gonna I think I got an uncle still sitting on a
couple of those we had savings bonds you're a savings bonds because you grew
up during World War two what are you talking about T bills that was big in my
day rations I was a kid they made it sound like all I had to do was like wait
50 years and cash those savings bonds in and I was on easy you made like 17 I
think we cashed in when I was in like third grade I fucking was there with
James J Braddock beat max bear savings bonds something really trashy we did in
the we did hands across America you too young to remember that I did that with
your mom all right go what else you got holy I haven't asked a question yet like
I said I wanted to say before I've been I've been doing something pretty trash
yeah I've been taking scam calls a lot lately almost every time they call I do
like asking for a job I can commute to be late but I'll be there gonna be late
but I'll be there me it's your question what do you make 60 70 what are you
pulling down over there no I bring them in like oh hello and like I got an old
lady I'm like fuck you motherfucker and they always get mad at me to your
cursed out by a dude on one of those things I'll tell you you know that's not
trashy that's like that's like like yeah that's like hot it that's somebody who
needs a friend that's what that is Jesus Christ dude call me next time all right
I'm in Astoria yeah yeah yeah fair enough um all right let's see here have you
ever ran out onto the field during a sporting event no have any of your
family have any of your family cars ever had wood paneling as your family ever
owned a car we've slept in a car does that count wood paneling you know you
know the wood of course I do I'm thinking the wind star I know that the dodge
wind star Chrysler fucking Chrysler wind star that's what it was two by four is
all over that thing that was mean the fucking one of the cut of the hacks on
Jim Duggan coming down the road back in the day there's the Ryan's back in the
day you were rich if you know I don't know I don't think so what's some shit
cars though yeah my mom one time we're driving out she had a Chevy Blazer oh
blazers were nice for like a week and a half these and this beat up fucking but
she's always got crunched up they see every blazer you saw missing a bumper
those are fucking a trash bag for a window I never drove it as a kid but it
didn't look first of my mom's a tiny little woman I don't have a high center
and I think I think I don't know if you could see a lot of stuff so I think
you're just like I'm coming in and you just close your eyes and hope for the
best hopefully they see it a blazer shifting late I remember one time though
we're speeding down the road dude every blazer was crunched up yes every way
they had dent because it was like it was like a Bronco it was like a trash
Bronco yeah it was a poor man's bro it's like if you can't afford to be OJ why
do you be one of these other fourth string players you don't you've never
heard of a semi-pro Jane a blazer I can one up that for a little while we had a
GMC Jimmy but my mom one time driving the blazer speeding down the road she's
like fuck fuck fuck just screaming fuck ran out of gas and then we're just
sitting there on the side of the road me my brother and we didn't want to say
anything to her because she's a psycho she fucking scream it is so she's just
like fuck so she she waved somebody down and then says to he ended up calling
somebody and we waited for a tow truck we're there for a while anyways the guy
goes so what happened she goes my mom goes well I was low on gas so I figured
I'd outrun the gas she's like I figured I if I spent I went faster quicker yes
it's a time thing yes you're gonna run out of gas in three minutes and the guy
goes you're burning gas quicker yeah anyways that's a story there that's
this prick breaking your mom's balls this fucking help us out how people used
to hit on people in the 90s let me tell you crooked tits was that was that
hit man hey what are you doing you dumb broad what do you got a blazer with no
gas what are you doing later I'm gonna pick you up what do you want to Melrose
place again these two kids no dad who these guys you know so is it serious with
the redhead in the back what's the other one watch what's going on here pretty
kind of weird one don't how much money you make you got 60 70 look at what you
got I fully go let me see alright I got one has your mom I got one and then a
follow-up to that as well has your mom ever cut your hair I don't know that's
that's not a no I don't think so I'm trying to think it'd have to be like
when I was real real young sure not like a baby that's whatever yeah yeah I don't
I don't know man I don't remember that I remember she let our hair grow one day
there's a picture me and my brother basically like you know just we're
standing in on a rock and Peggy's Cove with a little lobster fucking I was
just your neighbor's backyard there you go that's a couple basics that was her
fucking man cave what was the name he's called what was the name of your
grocery store growing up IGA it was called like International Grocery
Association Indian industrial complex they only take food stamps IGA but no
my mom didn't let our hair grow for a long time yeah let it grow but the name
the family like what the fuck is going on with your and we were like you got to
do something like Jim Morris we used to regularly maintain each other to keep
pushing haircuts off like I would shave the back of my brother's neck my mom
would trim over my ears yeah also follow-up have you ever had a rat tail
no I had one a little bit I did fry my mom in it though we're cooking they
weren't cooking but they were cooking you know what I mean they were like on
the cusp of becoming the next thing and then some fucking guy you know I just
woke up and we're like what are we doing yeah for a minute people were it's
disgusting to look at I do right I like a mullet though I'm not I'm not back in a
lot of college rock mullets now mullets all the night is back for the young
the 20s they're all rocking champion feel a rat yeah mullets are not a not a
not a you can you have a nice mullet you cannot can we agree on this you can
have a nice mullet you cannot have a nice rat no no no you can't do it you can't
do it what happens in the front rat tail on the front fucked in the back yeah
right on the front mullet in the back oh yeah that's fine that dude's fucking
playing by the mayor of fucking white trashville that's what that is I grown up
remember one time my mom we used to cut our hair with like just clippers in the
summer yeah on them and the one time we were trying to be cool and she put a
she tried to put a number one in the back of my head like I'm number one
look like a fucking yeah look like that's the type of like in Gia did not look
at the number one that's the type of thing to that's like mom you know you're
getting me killed right oh yeah I thought it was cool I'm like oh yeah I want
until you go to school and the kid just fucking claps or in the back and then
fucking head and a locker all because I thought I was numero one number one at
what I was seven I was a fat seven-year-old yeah number one wasn't even
the number one in my house number 11 yeah this kid stinks Nathan do you know
what KD is craft dinner yep yeah that's what they call it's what they call
macaroni and cheese craft dinner what cuts with garbage excuse me
over there yeah it's not Mac objection garbage your honor please garbage the
yeah no craft dinner is a real is a thing though in Canada like we have
macaroni and cheese but then there's also craft dinner that's a more proper
thing it's a box called craft dinner got you and yeah man we used to fuck that
that was I mean dude you get a box of that you boil that up you sprinkle that
bullshit cheese onto it you fucking wait what's craft dinner what's in that that's
I'm saying it's it's it's macaroni and cheese but it's called craft dinner
it's her fan it's like it's for a nice for fancy dinner you know I mean fancy
there when you're when your uncle gets out of gets off parole you know yeah
we said the big thing casserole when I was a kid was chicken on a crumb where
do you make it a fucking dumpster that's horrible chicken ala crumb it was like a
hot chicken dish no that's not maybe that sounds like a lawyer's like the what
fuck he's coming in to end it chicken on the crumb you know the crumbs over
cover this is craft dinner you cocksucker craft dinner that's macaroni
and cheese that's like it's like the difference between Valvita and craft
it's the same shit no wait it was called crap wait a second it's always been
craft macaroni and cheese and we called it craft dinner yeah oh yeah yeah we're
trying yeah I always thought it was just called craft dinner I thought if you
looked at a box it would say craft dinner but no craft it's that okay yeah
when I was a kid ramen we used to call it oodles of noodles yeah I remember that
yeah oodles of noodles well I think that was a brand oodles of noodles was a
brand at some point you have steak comes when you were a kid steak comes last
week what are you talking about not bad north steak comes no just like chopped up
meat Elios pizza no wow have you ever drank milk out of a bag yeah we have bag
milk but that doesn't make a garbage Canada does bag milk you say milk to few
states no buddy milk I don't say milk I say milk that's what I do not say
milk you sell milk yeah milk milk out of a bag okay Peggy steep
that was a that was a bed and breakfast at Peggy's Cove Peggy's Cove craft dinner
in a bag of milk all the day bag of milk buddy we do bet not all of them look we
got the fucking containers too but Canada does do Canada's a little backwards
bags of milk backwards how many people you're milking a bag is a baby the milk
in Canada is probably better than the milk here and I used to drink milk out
of that's coming from a cow so you know what means my cousin's up north a real
uppity I'll tell you that's a good guy grew up around them you know what I mean
yeah you got a dot I can't have it have you ever owned a George Forman grill no
oh I loved me a George Forman I loved a George Forman yeah George Forman grills
apart there was one in my old house my roommate had it all right but a nice to
cook on it let me tell you something you put out you put all you put anything a
chicken breast with a chicken breast about it yeah I love a George Forman you
know the George Forman story the story George Forman yeah the grill yeah do
you yeah I think it's supposed to go to Hulk originally yes okay what am I
fucking jerk off I want you don't really garbage you know I'm saying maybe you
just think it's you know I own the whole juicer to or whatever he got out of the
deal whatever the Hulk got screwed on the deal he opened up they offer them they
offered at the Hulk Hogan first yeah do you want the grill and he goes I ain't
gonna fuck give me the pasta make pasta mania yeah he opened a restaurant called
pasta mania and he lost out like you know 50 billion oh god all of it yeah he
lost all the goddamn money possible yeah all right you got one Foley have you or
any member of your family have you or any member of your family ever knownly went
to an uncle cracker or kid rock concert I don't think so you were any member of
my family because I got a friend who's been a kid rock concert easily been a
kid rock friend is kid rock I got a friend you should meet it's called
garbage it's garbage man he's got to take you out with that guy first of all I
understand where kid rock has ended up kid rocks got a couple good songs we
kid me Bob the Bob bang-to-bang diggy that song is great cowboy is a guy was a
hot fucking song cocky's a good time this garbage cowboys are great have you
ever hung out on a couch in a garage you know man I go yeah
I've been on a pull-out I've slept on a pull-out a garage I grew up in a lot of
apartments man so we didn't we didn't do but I have I have hung out my friends my
friend that we have hung out in storage rooms so that's that's that's that's the
equivalent of a garage storage room yeah also tell you this my mom pronoun but
where I'm from this how people pronounce that they would say grudge grudge when I
talk to my mom she's like she's a grandfather's out in the garage yeah your
grandfather's garbage I think we gotta we gotta wrap up let's do two more here you
got one and I got one have you or any female member of your family ever flash
a security guard to gain access to a concert or live performance that's
surely the no how involved is that question how involved is that that's
coming from were you ever in a your mom ever blown anybody in a rat to get to the
main stage were you ever in an episode of Family Matters season 4 yeah where
her cool is trying to get pet like that's it that's it do you like ketchup
flavored potato chips yeah but the you're just talking you basically you're
asking me is are you Canadian are you Canadian and yes and listen I can tell
by the looks I'm in glasses he's Canadian buddy have you ever had a ketchup
chip yes it's a fucking fiesta right it's good stuff thank you all right I got
one have you ever walked through a drive-thru talk about bringing it full
circle gentlemen yeah yeah that's a bad see if you're what if you're like
trying to jump to register that you're a car so many people have done it that
they had to put a sign up so it can't be gone reason that I did it was a friend
of mine worked there at night they would close the front so I would that's even
worse I would go and be like buddy is Mike in there oh he would hook us up on
the fucking nuggets though he'd give you like a bag like a bag bag great good
friend right there talk about full circle thank you everybody for for listening
as real quick again please rate review and subscribe follow us on Instagram yes
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Foley.com we thank you guys so much and we'll see you next week for another
exciting edition of are you garbage am I garbage by the way oh yeah trash goodbye