Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - No Pulp w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: February 17, 2022

Kippy and Foley are back with a fun one! Thanks for listening. Love youse guys. Come see us at a live show!  Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGa...rbage https://www.BetterHelp.com/GARBAGE https://www.HelloFresh.com/garbabe16 Promo Code: Garabage16 https://www.Babbel.com Promo Code: Garbage https://www.Allform.com/GARBAGE

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Stop the presses gang got a special announcement the middle-class famous tour is in full effect Get your tickies me the bald one the long hair. We're coming to a city near you Bring the squad out. It's a great way to introduce people to the show. You get to see some stand-up You get to play a little a yg with me in the gui-parino. It's a good time. Hit me up Guys are gonna be in Atlanta Tampa Orlando Pittsburgh Buffalo Detroit Denver Phoenix Salt Lake City Chicago Rose man guys. It's a great time Can't wait to see you out there get your tickies now. Yeah Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or
Starting point is 00:00:44 Absolute trash now. Here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley Hey Everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is our you garbage It's a little show we sit there with your favorite comedians and we find out they're good to be classy Mm-hmm, or just a big old piece of trash. Yeah, I'm your hostage fully coming at you on a beautiful day We're down here. It has to these basement. She has caught in wind. Oh god of the $10,000 bet that we're laying okay when we reach a Patreon goal thirty six hundred thirty six hundred. She want to wet her beak or get in on the action. What is it?
Starting point is 00:01:24 She thinks that she can make it a sure thing Yeah, she was upstairs watching oceans 11. I said, honey, I don't get any ideas My co-hosts coming at you from across the table. It's a family yet. It's a business meeting. God damn it We're sitting down. We're clearing the house. Sure. Circle in the wagons He is the CEO of our you garbage. He's international businessman. We're almost kind of wearing the same thing. We're syncing up. I mean No comment save it for hard feelings that you want them. We got them Kevin James Ryan ladies Hey gang happy to be here. Thanks for tuning in. Oh, as always, please make sure you subscribe on itunes Oh video available on YouTube and as you know, those numbers are true to roof true the fucking roof daddy. Oh
Starting point is 00:02:09 Also by law federal statue. This is the one I like This is really more my speech that you 13b paragraph four of the federal docket section nine I must mention the greatest website of all time www.patreon.com slash are you garbage a lot of money? I believe it's section 12 all bozos here It said for Okay, no, I'm sorry. Oh, please. No. Oh, no special The dates. I don't know. What were you gonna? What I was gonna tell what they get at the greatest website of all time
Starting point is 00:02:42 Like I do every fucking episode talking about the billions and billions of hours of bonus material We just hit a trillion hours of bonus. Oh really a trillion. Yeah Pretty good like Voyager out there. Yeah, I can put in miles. It's nice. Plus. They get them hard feelings. Yeah That's that's the real show This is a dog and pony show that's where the panties come off That's where the rubber hits the road as they say How about a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire which I was trying to say before and I apologize I cut you off. Mr. Ryan, especially this at this late hour of the month
Starting point is 00:03:21 I Certain transfers are processing but I've been a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire the magic man Makes us all look good. So a little kid brother over there. Look at him little skippy. Give it up for T-Bow McMuffin. Don't be McMullen What's up, dude? I don't want to be skippy. That's your close to kippy. I did just true I did just realize how well there we go again more assimilation. I mean, we're all gonna be the same person in a year We're all gonna we're all gonna meet in the middle of weight. We're all gonna be like 285 pounds or something We're all gonna be an even three bills. We're all gonna have medium hair
Starting point is 00:03:58 Balding in the front walking around like the Ramones Yeah, it's gonna be a bad look we all gonna play the part on it sucks Gotta wear it everywhere. Yeah, holy cow, but I do I do forget sometimes your youth I'm not that I'm not young. I mean here to him compared to me. Yeah, what do you mean? You're a kid compared to me your young kid with all his own life in front of them So I'm gonna find them Well, you see a 32 year old man with a skateboard down my child 32 is young man. Not that young. What are you like 38 36? Let's go talk to some chicks and see what they have to say about it
Starting point is 00:04:37 Yeah, I To me you're a baby. I started comedy when I was 30 though That's how young that is to me. God, you were gonna inspire so many bozo comedians to hang in for way too long That fat guy for me YG did it You're like the new Rodney Dangerfield He was selling vinyl siding up until he was 58 years old and he died of a drug overdose I heard a Hawaiian shirt. What do you know about that? I already used to be a jockey That's good stuff. I wanted to ask you before we get started today
Starting point is 00:05:12 um, I Did this the other night to the to the Appalledness, so green chagrin of my of my female counterpart over there My mirror as they call it if we were if you were on different She's not happy about that. I'm sure if we were if we were on different sides of the Cold War That's what would be she be my mirror. She was a Russian spy, which she could be I don't know Covered She could be embedded we're waiting to start at the bottom could be a
Starting point is 00:05:45 Listen, there's this fat comedian over there in New York who might be successful with that you start working on them They want me to start DC LA and thinking about Queens bluebell Pennsylvania That's where they're that's where the real fucking Whatever Which I can't believe she's never seen me do it before in the years that we've been together Because I know I do it all the time because when I learned it as a kid I thought it was one of the most genius things that I've ever seen it was a cutting a cousin showed me
Starting point is 00:06:20 Okay, and this move is when you you fill your bowl up with cereal Okay, listen them. All right in there and they were special K by the way before you start freaking out Okay as Trader Joe's special case, so it's even better for you You fill the bowl and then when you go to pour the milk You take your hand and you lightly put it over the cereal bowl to hold the cereal down So it doesn't rise as you pour the milk in You don't know what I'm talking about. I do I've never done it. I've never thought to do it. Really? Yeah, I mean you're really trying to get every bang for your buck in that bowl
Starting point is 00:07:01 Like a nice amount of that's like a pressure cooker your pressure cooking special K bootleg special K a dad not even named brain Mr. Kellogg didn't sign off on that That's I get you get what I'm saying, right? You hold it down so the milk can fill up and get all the get all the flakes wet So it doesn't and then what no making me wet This turn to the answer That's what you like a cereal fetish Tell me what the corn pops. I get it. I see where's yeah I mean, I've definitely played defense on the rim here and there if you know
Starting point is 00:07:38 But I've never like tried to trash compact it down. That's fucking crazy I don't have a paperweight in my fucking oreo. Just go back and redo it. Do you know fill it up most shit? I also like some of the rough ones at the top, you know, and I mean really ripped the top of your mouth It's like chewing firecrackers. I gotta have a little coat on them Yeah, you fucking yeah, that's dry. I mean, how many bowls how many bowls did you do as well? How many bowls of that special K? on that particular night Which not exactly you talking about by the way, I think it's a great question. I want to thank you for asking
Starting point is 00:08:14 I was home all night. Um, I don't know to probably to I do to I probably listen I do you know what fucking I do to okay. I do though. Am I supposed to believe that? To we have those we have those fancy deep bowls. They have now, you know, I'm talking about Someone called a crock pot I just listen we go back a long time. Nobody hold on hold on. You do too. Come on everybody does nobody does one ball series Well, I wasn't at all listen I'm not claiming that you did one. I'm also not claiming that you did too I think you're I think you're more of a hatchery kind of guy
Starting point is 00:09:00 Because listen, I know you a long time right we go back sure old pals Been in the you know been in the fucking trenches together cut our teeth Right better hairlines thinner waistlines back in the day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, uh-huh built like a fucking Ukrainian gymnast You know I used to be tight I was there You are I I don't want to sound but you're a liar. You're a big lion second shit over there There has been times in the past where I may have embellished the the the the truth sure, you know for the country for the yeah
Starting point is 00:09:33 For national security, of course. Yeah, I mean we I mean that spy girlfriend the end of the day. It's all for charity So let's not get it's not pointing fingers here for the kids. What are we doing? Serials for the kids I will say this is how as seen on tv products get made We could be the first guys to get in the cereal weight game. Yeah, like what I mean is what? Yeah, uh Will you be honest and was it two bowls of cereal what that's got first of all that's not what we're talking about All right, it is a sub subcategory while we're talking. Yeah, I don't like this that did see well listen
Starting point is 00:10:06 This is why people who commit small crimes don't go in and report big crimes because they get some some stiff like you Now you're asking me where I was last night Doesn't matter how many bowls of cereal dickhead. All right the question on the table No, it yes, the question on the table is do you push down your cereal when you fill up the milk? No, that's right. Am I crazy? Because you two don't do it very people out there have to know he's unraveling People out there have to do it. I'm sure people do a lot of animals listen to this show. Uh, we're fine. No Toby you don't do That is so gross. Yeah, your hand your hand specifically
Starting point is 00:10:47 Is gross because you're gonna get milk on it and then you specifically are for sure gonna lick the milk off your hand No, I don't lick milk off my hand ice cream. Yeah milk goes right on the pants Yeah, I think it's cereal shouldn't be touched by your hands ever Except maybe if you're combing it out, you know combing it out of the box You know a little you know a little tussle on top of the head. That's it when the supply chain fucks up Yeah, when you gotta get in there when you gotta get in there with a digger, you know what I mean? Little excavation. How about when you go and some moron has opened the cereal and it's all fucked up I hate that. What do you mean? Like when the bags ripped from the side? Yeah, I swear to god my one friend growing up his mom
Starting point is 00:11:28 I don't know why would uh, I think it was because they used to open the the They would open the cereal like animals when they were kids So the mom started when she bought cereal and she bought a lot of cereal They were one of the families that had like nine different cereals on top of the fridge They were all like a quarter of the way full But she would take the bag out completely. She would dump the cereal in the cardboard. What that's how she would do it That's not sanitary. I bit into the fucking the bowl of tricks one time that had to be
Starting point is 00:12:00 Three years old They were they were like jolly ranchers. I almost cracked all my teeth Fuck stale as shit that yeah, you know what my I believe my sister does it I want to throw her under the boss, but she empties out the box into like the tupperwell into like the That's classy rubber made spouts. Yeah, that's like something you saw in family ties when I was yeah, that was very like sitcom That's that's that's the pit that's the pitcher orange juice pitcher on milk, too Who the fuck does that? What are we doing? You gotta throw the milk out after that We're gonna pour it back in you know what I've been getting into and this isn't a sponsored post
Starting point is 00:12:34 But I've been recently getting into the past week and a half that trough 50 He did dabble with that at all for seniors Fucking helps with the osteoporosis Keeps your regular to a couple of snack while cookies and I'm like Yeah, that trough 50 ain't nothing to shake a stick at what's the pitch? What's the what's the angle? I think it's just like orange juice and fucking you know, yeah, it's like orange juice and tonic or something This guy's drinking tom collins mix in the morning What the fuck
Starting point is 00:13:11 What the fuck That stuff's all right Trough 50 shout it out from the rooftops You don't buy it's 50 less sugar It's got some bubbles in it too. There's something's going on a little osmosis going going too much sun I think the oranges are from Delaware or something. Yeah, I don't fuck with that It's definitely not the sunshine stage. I like a nice orange juice too I was at my mom's house this weekend and I thought I was like dreaming
Starting point is 00:13:45 Because I because I remember orange juice as far as the eye can see I must be having a fever dream No, because it said some pulp. Yeah, I thought that was just from the sopranos. I don't know that was an actionable thing No pulp some pulp. Yeah That's great some little bit of pulp tiny more bit of pulp. Yeah, that's too much too many pulps You know, I was a real cunt as a kid. I'm still a real cunt now But I was a real cunty little kid. You probably didn't I bet you didn't like to pull I did and that was before I love it
Starting point is 00:14:16 I would do all pulp. You look you're you look you're milk with pulp. That's an orange idiot Why you try a piece of fruit? Uh I used to have my mom strain out the what yeah, I'm sure I've mentioned this before We had like a little strainer and I would make her strain it. I was a real cunty little kid Ah, I would have pulled a six. I was a real little I was I was super fucking picky and then she just would be like I remember sly. She was she like it was like an episode of cheers. She slid it down to me with pulpit I slid it right back. I said hey toad speed pulp of fighters. Will you hey honey? Was it your first day?
Starting point is 00:14:57 How about your Cheryl filled you in but where's the other girl usually takes care of me? You don't vacation or something. What's happening? Dude, you are my ego waffles. If you did that to patty as a kid She would she would have kept you sick She would have she would have pulled a six cents on you A little bit of pine saw on every oatmeal you had munchausen syndrome You'd be up there forever I didn't have she'd bleed you. I mean also I look him back
Starting point is 00:15:22 I insane insane that she did it, but I think she was just that's crazy single mom I was the youngest. I think she was just like fucking whatever Like we're just here. Just shut this kid up fucking strain my orange juice real tough guy Real hard case your generation Yeah, now I can't get enough of this stuff. I do some of the pull some pull love the pull. Yeah All right. Well, I guess I'm an asshole with the cereal. I don't know Oh Let's see what the bozos and the homies say I get it. I get it. I just don't think you shouldn't be touching
Starting point is 00:16:01 That's like putting your hand in a bowl of soup. You shouldn't be doing that. It's not it's not that's ridiculous I'm I'm just lightly putting my hands are clean. I just know they're not your hands are never clean Your hands statistically your specific hands. I want before I've seen you with boogers. I washed them with iodine before I do If there is icing in every bowl of cereal you eat I've seen more boogers on your fingers than I've seen in my nose You are your big boog man I get stuffed up sometimes the boogers the boogers Well, that'd be your mob name Henry boogers. So I went over to boog's house I'm gonna go with the boogers the boogers. I heard booger killed him
Starting point is 00:16:46 All right I just have one quick question. Go ahead T-bone. Isn't that you're gonna That much milk over the surface area all that cereal you're gonna get soggy cereal way faster Why not and why not just stir it once the milk's in that's what I'm saying. Yeah, what are you talking about? There's too much. Here's what it really is. All right, you're good kids. I'll tell you a real story. Okay I don't like your fucking attitude. All right but What it is is
Starting point is 00:17:11 I like a big bowl of cereal. I can't do the little rinky-dinky bowl. So I try to get as many Tricks in there as I possibly can sure or uh special okay, whatever you have um And when you pour the milk in it all falls out like popcorn So you take your hand and you hold it. I mean that's like if you can and ball the milk in there if you fucking slowly No, no, I put you pour it nice It's to get the milk on this flake You know what I'm saying if you pour it you fucking you can you stir your scoop you do it doesn't stir
Starting point is 00:17:50 How big you what are you talking about? There's no room to stir in a cereal bowl I'm not saying stir it like you're fucking the wicked witch of the story. How big are your cereal bowl? What are you using old old tv? I don't eat cereal typically You got a box in the house. I never do there's not a box of cereal in your house right now There's not if you don't have a box of cereal in house. You're a psychopath. Uh toby you Yeah, what do you have? I have uh like honey bunches of oats. I think that's respectable No, it's not what you're doing cereal. You're not gonna. You what honey bunch of what are you my grandfather Honey bunches of oats are all right get out of here. You know, it's not too shabby either every once in a while grape nuts
Starting point is 00:18:30 Ah, you're gonna think i'm crazy Grape nuts with some milk and a little bit of sugar. You probably like raisin brain too. Oh, yeah What two scoops, bitch I've never heard someone Bragg like a rapper about the scoops in their cereal. That's two scoops, motherfucker I'm gonna tell you what Kellogg's they coat them motherfuckers in sugar too. They don't fuck around Fucking Kellogg's raisin brand. Let's go. I can't do the I can't do the cereal at the house because I fucking have a problem I'm not saying that we keep it that box of cereal was taken away from me that night and hidden
Starting point is 00:19:08 After my third bowl. I see I knew it. Yeah Fucking two bolt to get out of here two bowl. I'm a three-ball man This podcast is sponsored by better help online therapy Relationships take work. We all know that a lot of people will drop anything to help somebody that they care about But how often do you do that with yourself? This month better help wants to remind everybody the most important relationship you have in your life is with yourself Whether you're hitting the gym, you're getting a new haircut that you want it doing something to make yourself feel better You are your greatest asset and you got to make sure that you take care of yourself the way you would for other people
Starting point is 00:19:46 Yeah, guys better help is online therapy that offers video phone and even live chat sessions with your therapist So you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to it's much more affordable than in-person therapy And can you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours? Give it a try and see why over 2 million people have used better help online therapy This podcast is sponsored by better help and are you garbage listeners get 10 off their first month at better help dot com slash garbage That's better help b e t t e r h e l p dot com slash garbage do it
Starting point is 00:20:19 Yeah, kip. Let's talk about hello fresh. Hello fresh. Come on. You know them. You love them everybody loves hello fresh With hello fresh you get farmed fresh Pre portioned ingredients seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep skip the trips to the grocery store count on hello fresh To make home cooking easy saves time saves money Saves lifestyle. It's worth it. Plus. Everything's pre-portioned and we love the recipes They got a cajun shrimp that'll blow your hair back, baby. I ain't lying Yeah, uh, hello fresh has fit and hold some recipes for satisfying and nutritious meals That you can feel good about with six recipes per week to choose from including low calorie and carb conscious options
Starting point is 00:21:02 Warm yourself up from the inside with our limited time recipes including cozy cozy classics From around the world like beef tenderloin and cheese fondue. Oh my god Patty's on them by the way or miso sesame shrimp and bacon rum and sign me up daddy. What are we doing? Those hello fresh guys really know what they're doing over there. They sent it to us. I mean they they it's easy peasy You're in the kitchen. It's me and me and the lady. We're in there. It's romantic. We're having fun It's fantastic. So go to hello fresh.com slash garbage 16 use code garbage 16 for up to 16 free meals And three free gifts. I'm going to repeat that one more time, baby Go to hello fresh.com slash garbage 16 use promo code garbage 16 for up to 16 meals and three free gifts do it
Starting point is 00:21:50 Yeah, um, all right, let's get into some fucking Gapage questions From the patreon over there guys when you sign up for patreon You will answer your garbage question on here Best way to do it. We get hit up a bunch the emails the dms everything But the uh, the patrons get top priority over there a patreon's a party. You know what I mean? It's a good time I'm telling you Uh, this one's just a fucking what we call in a business a home run
Starting point is 00:22:15 This is from ran. Did you take swim lessons beyond a reasonable age? Because there is a certain age Where you can't be like 16 in the pool with a bunch of 12 year or like six year olds, you know Did you take proper swim lessons proper? Proper swim lessons They hated me. I hated them. Can you eat cereal in a pool? I Hold the milk down you dumb bro. What are you doing? Uh
Starting point is 00:22:43 the woman Threaten the sewers. Oh my god, dude. Yeah, because I would bite her and pinch her I just remember one day and I was little I was terrified of the water Terrified you're still not the biggest fan now. Um, but I can swim like the wind um I remember my I remember my mom like opposite elements. Yeah, I can swim like that thing that's not known for swimming I like a fish. Uh I remember my mom like holding me and her having a conversation. She's like, it's just patty. It's too much
Starting point is 00:23:16 He typically doesn't ball in a mailman Yeah, I fucking I freaked out hate hated it But I got past it. I wasn't fucking taking swim lessons until like 25 That's a real tough luck. But I also do. We know a few bozos that can't swim. I know. Yeah That's insane to me and listen. I know you grew up here. You grew up there. You grew up in the city You don't have access to it Just my my fear and my anxiety. I would have that would have been the one thing I said mom I want to take swim lessons mom. I gotta win this swim
Starting point is 00:23:51 You figure you have to know that I can't fathom that. Yeah, I don't know. It's not, uh It's not It's crazy. I know I can't I just remember always being able to so I don't remember any lesson ever you had to I don't think so. Yes. I'm sure your mom took you to fucking Saturday swim lessons You just don't remember. You don't know about me. Don't tell me. I probably knocked you out and threw you in the chlorine room That's why my hair's falling out Chlorine poisoning at an early age. I lean him up against that shock. He'll be all right Um
Starting point is 00:24:24 No, I I know kids grow up. They don't have access. I mean, we didn't have a pool That's a fun. I I understand but like you know to play the comedy devil's advocate fucking New York's an island It's not like there ain't water around there. I'm telling you there's beaches. I'm telling you I'm fucking rock away beach fucking coney island. They're all we're all resort beaches Go down there learn how to swim watch out for the needles, but you still have a good time I think rock away takes a couple people every year too That coast a little stingy up there
Starting point is 00:24:53 Currents going this way and I don't know but what my cousins did Is that and you'll see you don't like tick-tock and stuff A baby is naturally known how to get on its back or whatever. Yeah, I seen that bullshit They did it with my all my cut with all their kids The big guy did and what do they immediately know how to swim? Yeah, there's this thing where they know I'm saying then you don't need swim lessons because they'll Like instinctively know is that what you're saying Yeah, it's like this. You hold them in the wall. I don't if toby could look it up
Starting point is 00:25:22 I'm saying years later when they start to actually swim They still get swim lessons. I know the human body is naturally buoyant. I get that Okay, I don't know what we're arguing over here. I don't know why I'm telling you what my cousins did I don't know anymore. Okay. All right I'm just saying that it's that Because they had a pool and they had young kids like babies ish or you know toddlers Sure So it's like a survival thing where they throw you in the fucking pool and just kind of you'll fake like nice
Starting point is 00:25:53 You don't know and you'll fucking seal team six training. I is. You know what I mean? And you like you got to like you inherently roll over on your back Right, and then just start like kicking or whatever. I don't know. I was never a big backstroke guy More of a freestyle. Yeah, I would have sank right to the bottom on that, but I have seen that He's right, but they still need lessons after that Yes, he throws them in all of a sudden they're doing flips like dolphins and shit Well, I mean that's that way they taught you in lessons flips like dolphins Dude, you see how I do a handstand. Sure. Not a bad can opener handstand in a pool was a good time
Starting point is 00:26:27 I was just doing them down in florida Oh, yeah What you're not doing a handstand in a pool. That's crazy not now I was a Marco polo action down here too. It's pretty good. I was having a great time with the kids in the pool Uh, I was I was the kids. All right. I thought you were doing it If I was at a fucking a hotel pool and there was some guy by himself Fucking in three feet of water and all of a sudden his legs slowly came up. I call hotel security little peters Yeah, no, uh, no, obviously the kids are in the pool and I can't do a handstand in three feet of water
Starting point is 00:27:04 That's not enough four feet. Whatever. Yeah Handstands are a good time. You know 10 feet for me That's real easy. What are you gonna keep on? All right, so Babies aren't born with the ability to swim Obviously sure, but they have a reflex called the brady cardiac response Which makes babies hold their breath and open their eyes when submerged in water and they kind of They kind of naturally have a reflex that makes it look like they can swim. Yeah, but they do know to hold their breath and open their eyes Yeah, it's weird. That's like the nirvana kid
Starting point is 00:27:34 Yeah, he's making that face. Toby zoom in Everybody constantly says I love how he never zooms in big gag love it good stuff Uh, yeah, but I I'll ask the I'll ask the piece, but I don't think I I genuinely don't think I had to I don't think so, man We have on the swim team that wasn't no that and also my brother and sister did but that wasn't something we paid for that was like I'll teach you how to swim out of the river. Yeah, that wasn't like we were in a pay-for-services kind of family Hey kicking in your jeans You gonna learn today boy. I'll pick you across the street from the trade tracks They put a sunny d and a pb and j at the lip of the deep end. They're like, hey, little fat kippy. Have you accomplished in a diving knife?
Starting point is 00:28:18 Figure it out Fucking johnny quest over here Sunny d that was that was our move back in the day Trop 50 Telling you maybe you should try trop 50. It's less cow less cows less sugar probably got sweetener in it Is that what you're worried about? Yeah, okay after your third bowl of maximum capacity cereal That should be the name my cereal is true to roof. That should be that should be the name of a fat guy cereal maximum capacity I mean, what are we talking about? Yeah, it's probably got sweetener in it. Okay drink fucking 19 IPAs last night
Starting point is 00:28:54 maximum capacity definitely has marshmallows in it Chunks of chocolate and graham can have whatever you want maximum capacity This one's uh for michael first time long time. I love the ftlt Uh, you guys ever fell in a fire? Like at a bonfire You get high or whatever you're drunk. You get a whiff of the fucking smoke It fucking makes you dizzy and you and you go down
Starting point is 00:29:22 It's surprising that it doesn't burn you that quickly. Like you can you can actually get somebody out. Yeah And it's just like a little like fucking ash on their eyes or whatever I've never witnessed. I've seen I've seen a buddy get a little woozy You know, I knew we were like, hey easy. We had to get get hands on them I saw some kid go right in He'd go right in we were uh burning like in in our in Our area certain people that live in the older neighborhoods. They were they
Starting point is 00:29:54 Burn their leaves what they had a decent enough size of props. Sure Love that smell in the fall. It's not bad. It's not bad That's like sometimes you go out and like the poking or like up towards like the more rural There's just a fire burning like every third house. They just got something like a they got a burn pin something cooking. Yeah, it smells good. Um But somebody threw a computer Or somebody on top like it was so that was like an area in the backyard where they burned shit So like we'd go out there sometimes you just start a fire and sit around drink some beers or whatever Somebody threw a computer or something
Starting point is 00:30:29 On there and it was really cooking And something was in it and like a plume of like like green gas fucking circuit breaker or something And hit him in the face dude. He went down like the riddler got him It was fucking yeah What the fuck He's all fucked up. Yeah Damn that. Yeah
Starting point is 00:30:58 Tough look beer and fire alcohol and fire is never a good mix because you know, uh You want to start testing the dragon? Yeah, you start, you know, you don't respect it. You always got to respect the I got to respect it. You start throwing in a computer a crisp mystery next thing, you know, the neighborhoods won't fucking Yeah, you got leaking toxic gas Big time. I remember we did do a trail one time. We did a trail of gas to the fire That was pretty cool We did that but that's I've seen that gone wrong on the use tube. Oh, yeah We did it. We filled up a water bottle full of gas and the tip got caught
Starting point is 00:31:38 The tip caught on fire. We have a squirt bottle like it had like a squirt tip on it. That's a fucking bomb right there Yeah, I mean we pan we sent like and then we threw it in the water and then the gas was just burning on top of the water Man talk about fucking little anxiety kippy hot. I was I was I was hot dude. I fucking like I almost ran to the neighbors and been like help us help us the whole thing everybody abort You know, it was a fucking scene, dude. We're all gonna die. It was like Yeah, it was tough felt like What is it boy? There's a fire at the red bridge go go go That was what we used to steal a bunch of stuff from the construction sites
Starting point is 00:32:20 They were building the houses, you know, fucking light and caulk on fire. Whatever Christmas tree Just fucking torch and stuff get a can of paint thinner turpentine. Dude, that should have fucking knocked you to fuck out Yeah Hit some fucking rubber burning rubbers fucking tire plastic We used to be the two liter bottles and they would like fucking turn into lava Dude that stuff I got some burns on my hand from like just melting a water bottle or something That looks like napalm. I know it sticks on there. It's it's it's it's it's like a sticky bomb Thanks, yeah
Starting point is 00:32:54 Um, all right, let's see here this one All right, this is from Nicholas big bathroom question Is it garbage to paint a public restroom stall with the door open? Yes I'm a big I treat the I treat a public but specifically a rest stop Mm-hmm. Like you go to a rest. I treat that like I'm fucking like it's I don't like touching anything in there. So you'll pee with the door open Yeah, I don't who do some of those places are fucking
Starting point is 00:33:26 Dirty, I like my privacy Okay, close the door like a gentleman turn the lights down Is that a candle like the moon let's a midsense. Yeah, I'm like a big uh, I don't like touching anything And a lot of times those urinals you get a lot of back splash and then I just think about all the pee that's splashing on me or whatever Can I say this and you're stepping it? You can see yourself stepping in someone else's pee Then I see myself Getting in my car and being like that person's pee is now in my new car. This fucking sucks. Yeah
Starting point is 00:33:57 So I always walk through a little just slightly touched the bottom of your foot in a little puddle every once in a while then Wash it off. Yeah, the snow is great for that. You find a patch of snow Oh fucking clean the soles up through the white walls real nice. What I was gonna say is And I think this is more hygienic I've kind of stayed straight away from washing my hands in the bathroom Oh, never except at home I walk I at home I do what I mean if I poop. Yeah, I'm not washing my hands if I pee at your house really if I pee
Starting point is 00:34:31 I feel that's something you would judge me for But that's your lifestyle and and you can do whatever you're telling me you don't wash your hands You don't wash your hands after you pee at your house There's no way you're gonna sit here and tell me as my friend for the past decade. Do you sometimes I do I'm one time we're not talking about me. All I said was I'm surprised that you don't do that Anyway, my original point. I'm not washing my hands in fucking public restrooms anymore I'm walking outside and using duct two two squirts of purell. Yeah for sure. Why are we washing our hands anyway? Because otherwise you're gonna get piss in your frosted flicks. Yeah, exactly
Starting point is 00:35:06 I'm saying shouldn't we do away with the washing of the hands and just use hand sanitizer? No, because that hand sanitizer won't take poop off your fingers I've tried I've been jammed up It still smells Yeah, you got to get some water and soap on that It's a elbow grease. Yeah, for sure. That's not gonna, you know, a little bit of a little bit of purell ain't gonna take off fucking mud Um
Starting point is 00:35:37 Yeah, okay. Yeah, and that you don't wash your hand I don't even think you wash your hands after you after you do boom booms. Oh always always the boom boom scares me What? I'll get septus Or what's it called septic? That's it That's if it gets into your bloodstream or something. I want to cut my mouth or something What? Yeah, I'm worried about getting poop in my mouth. So I want I make sure I wash my hands thoroughly after I poop
Starting point is 00:36:08 Ah, that's insane. I don't know what it's called. Yeah, when it gets into your blood sept septus septus septus Septic steps sister That's bingo Septus God, my mom always says it that romantic fever. You're gonna get romantic fever. Jesus christ. What are you wagon train? sepsis It's what you get if you jump in the chicago river Really?
Starting point is 00:36:39 Yeah, if you if you go into the chicago river you immediately that you get arrested and they put you in an ambulance to take you to the hospital immediately Damn There's that much sepsis in the in the water. Yeah, it's nasty. It's it's green all year round not just not just on Well, they were dumping all the poop in there dumping poop. I think I took the boat ride. They told me that Oh, yeah, that's right. Did any reverse the something? Yeah, I don't know. Send that back down to indiana. Hey where Ship that down to those hayseeds. Yeah, we just dump it right in lake michigan folks So no need to worry about anything. Well, that's what was that whatever. Yeah, I don't need to get into the specific detail chicago
Starting point is 00:37:20 Coming here. Oh, yeah march or june or something may maybe I don't know can't wait may be there in may baby Get your tickets also by the way Uh Get your tickets if you're in any of the cities where we're coming on tour the link is in the description Of course come and see us. There you go. It's a fun time. It's a good time It's a good time and as the big man would say it's a good way to introduce your friends to the pod Get them out for a night of stand-up night of riffing night of laughs the whole nine yards You know how many times I've been at you know, we've done the shows and somebody will walk up and they'll say
Starting point is 00:37:51 You know, I I didn't know nothing about it. I thought you two were fucking losers when I first walked in I still think it but you're pretty goddamn funny at that I I saw you. I was like, oh, that's a real fat piece of shit All right, what were you bringing me to here? I don't know what kind of show it is You know your belly's hanging out on stage here I see you guys a little penis the whole goddamn time. I'm trying to endure myself my friend He says hey want to come to a new show got the show So bring the squad. Yeah the group chat
Starting point is 00:38:22 Send the send the tickling to the group chat. Hey, you have a group chat Yeah, yeah 11 guys in there It's pretty good couple that are quiet. I about four or five of them are quiet Yeah, I mean the things that are in there will you know get you locked up for a long time. I uh There's one of the first times in my life where I haven't been in a group chat The three of us are in a group chat. Yeah, but that's business. I've owned my family. That's fun But the kids are in that Wait, that's fun. What are you guys talking about in the family group chat? Whatever
Starting point is 00:38:53 Trashing you mostly My niece enough you I would be honored a couple of choice words about That bald guy stinks. Why is he so mean to Hank? But yeah, I don't have one of my boys anymore which sucks Who are your boys? Couple guys. I don't know who they are. I've never met these guys. Yeah, you have who you met some of my squad I can't name them on the publicly the private citizens Tom Cassidy my deli guy. Yeah
Starting point is 00:39:26 The dry cleaning guy I'm pretty close with you want to hear something. I'll tell you what About progress. I haven't been in the pizza place so long the one next to my house that they're trying to get a wellness check on you Hey, put a little put a little sauce on his nose Hey, that lord ass ain't been in here. Someone knock on his door I can't cover rent this month. He's pinwheels are backing up I The beef petty guy's starting to ask questions Kip, let's talk about babble babble. Come on. You know it. Le bebelle
Starting point is 00:40:05 Little babble. That's right, baby. If you're looking to learn a new language babble can help Looking at this way When you got goals, you want to you want to spend less money you want to save money You want to hit the gym you want to do this you want to do that A lot of people the top of their list is learning a new language And with babble, it's never been easier. Yeah, it's a language learning app that sold more than 10 million subscriptions 10 million 10 milli that's pretty good. Uh, not only is learning triple platinum Not only that's 10 plat what not only is learning a new language a fun and engaging new hobby
Starting point is 00:40:39 But you can use it while you well you can use it while you check traveling off your list The whole babble process is addictively fun easy babble teaches bite-sized language lessons for real world use I use it to sharpen up my uh, deutch You know, of course when i'm going over there and you pick up just a little I was using other apps I don't want to mention them You know what I mean because I don't want to get sued by these big language corporations. That's all AI crap They got persons. They got they got they got speech therapists doing this They were telling me how to say like i'm a little girl and stuff
Starting point is 00:41:11 Which came into handy during certain activities Uh, right now when you're singing i'm a little teapot at octoberfest right now when you purchase a three month babble subscription You'll get an additional three months for free that's six months for the price of three. What are we doing? They're giving it away. Just go to babble.com use promo code garbage. That's babble b a b b l dot com Code garbage babble language for life Can't be like all form all form I said all form don't play stupid I know you know who i'm talking about they're the same people from helix. They got into the furniture business There's a couch sitting right there nice and comfy and cozy best couch I ever sat on
Starting point is 00:41:48 Everybody loves all form. Yeah, it's easy peasy. Uh, they sent it to us. It came in. I put it together myself That's how easy it is. I was sitting under two seconds ago T-bones on it now Uh, it's the easiest way you can customize the sofa using premium materials and a fraction of the cost with traditional stores You get to pick your fabric, uh the color the sofa the size the shape the legs the whole nine yards whatever you want you get it Uh custom designed for you And if getting a sofa without trying it in a store sounds a little risky You don't need to worry you get a hundred days to decide if you want to keep it
Starting point is 00:42:19 That's that's more than three months and if you don't love it They'll pick it up for free and give you a full refund. Look at that. That's insanity good people in all form All form wants you wants to do their part and offers exclusive discounts for teacher students military and first responders What are we doing all form usa baby way to go all form? All form also offers financing flexible payment plans So an amazing sofa is never too far away and they offer also forever warranty Literally forever to find your perfect sofa check out all form.com slash garbage all form is offering 20% off all orders for our listeners At all form.com slash garbage do it now back to the show. Yeah
Starting point is 00:42:56 What'd they say? uh, I saw him the other night when he was leaving I was coming in and It was for parking He was getting in his car And so I was walking by the other night and he's like hey, he's like hey, man. He's like if you're ever uh You move or something He's like if you ever need a spot around this time call call the shop. I'm usually leaving. Oh, that's how they get your back Trying to get me back in you're calling. Hey, why I got you on a line here. We're doing a we're doing a family special
Starting point is 00:43:27 It's like a casino when they told him the plane didn't work trying to keep trying to get me back in there Fucking worked their magic. Yeah, you know worked. I had nine slices yesterday. What are you gonna do? All night. I've had nine different individual slices um All right, let's see here there with the guy. This was big. This is um It's from dean. Hey gang new here ever picked up and shaken a littered pack of smokes on the ground to see if they're If they're actually empty Definitely as a kid
Starting point is 00:43:58 Sure as a younger younger strapping buck and then the big thing even now Uh Is like if i'm in the car and I don't have my sigs or I have them in my I have like There's a lot of empty packs floating around. Yeah, so it's like You grab them. You shake them. I'm digging through the fucking glove box It's just full of parking tickets and empty marbles lights It's fucking and then what you don't find when you get really fucking made you get bummed out But when you really need one every once in a while the lord shines down upon you
Starting point is 00:44:28 You open up a pack. There's like six in there Oh, oh, what do you know? What do you say? That's a good feeling dude Yeah, did you ever find I found a full pack somewhere I had them and like miss cattle something That's too much when you find what you need. That's going to really hit you I know but the full pack you're like if that's changes the day You know what I mean? Like that's tomorrow's problem It's okay. This will give me my fix to start playing the stock market after that
Starting point is 00:44:56 Everything's coming up kippy jesus um All right here. This is from valory haven't had a question right is it garbage to use the spatula to clean the snow off your windshield? That's bad. That ain't good What do you use because this is my first winter with the car and I got hammed I got hammed up Two two weeks ago or whatever. You had nothing. I had nothing and I knew I had nothing next time you go get the car wash Are you getting the car wash regularly by the way? Uh, yeah, and what's your real change situation? You keeping an eye on that does the car tell you?
Starting point is 00:45:29 Is it smart like that? Uh, yeah, I've gotten it. I have like There's probably another 2 000. I don't do that much driving. I'm under 10 000 in the year. Okay Yeah, coming up on a year. I'm like a month out and I'm at like 9,228 No, I got two bad boys in the fucking back of it and back. I had them in the teego. Uh-oh, uh-oh You know when I was driving the teego around had them because that's just a good thing. That was part of the trading That was most of the value in the car. I know I'll never forget 200 bucks for that goddamn thing Give me 75. Oh 120. I didn't know you had the uh scrapers. Yeah, the ice crusher 2000 little scraper is stunk too
Starting point is 00:46:06 Those little hand joins You got to get one with a fucking pole on it. You know with some thing. It's got to have the brush Yeah, if you if you if you're getting the fucking just the scraper You might as well be using a fucking spatula Spatula is not a bit not bad though. That makes sense. You're trash for doing it, but You're depends on the snow depends how cold it is and it depends on the structural integrity of said spatula Yeah, if it's some fucking tj max fucking dog shit spatula, it's gonna bend back Like trying to fucking scoop ice cream out with a tablespoon look like a jerk off
Starting point is 00:46:42 um I use I knew I was going to be jammed up I knew it because I knew I didn't have one in there because it's the first winner with the car and uh I took my dustpan and brush and cleaned off The snow with the with my dustpan and my wife had the pan and I had the brush This guy's out there vacuuming his windshield Got the shot back out morning tommy Three inches last night
Starting point is 00:47:10 Uh, yeah, I felt I knew I was going to be trash and now I got the fucking the dustpan still in the car We don't have it in the house. There's fucking dust everywhere. I remember Boy, do I remember I don't know where we were I'm going to order one today We were somewhere there was some kind of miscommunication because my parents are usually pretty good with that stuff They keep all that stuff stocked and loaded and all that crap rock salt in the fucking back of the car and all Paranoia I got you growing up Anyway, it must have been transferred to the other car. We took a car Coming out of some store and it snowed. It's fucking freezing cold
Starting point is 00:47:47 My dad's got nothing Fucking scraping the windshield with his credit card that my dad why we sat inside in horror Pan he was hot that night. Uh-huh. Yikes. I used uh, uh, god damn fucking CD case works pretty well. They were always they were always disposable in the early ups CD case was great Even a cd from time to time if it was a shitty mix or like an old memphis bleak album or something
Starting point is 00:48:15 You fucking you sacrifice it for the ride. You know what I mean? And you also I mean you didn't get you didn't go fucking crazy with it You just know what you had to do and I'll let the defrosers do the heavy lifting. You know what I mean Which they do a lot. You just got to get them started. Yeah, that's the problem with them teslas now They don't have an engine So the snow doesn't fucking melt off the car It's what they're running into Because there's no engine in the car
Starting point is 00:48:43 Take that nerd boy. Look at that. So it stays on the car Like obviously there's defrosters on it But it doesn't yeah, wait I thought they had like things where the all the snow melts off all the car What yeah, you could hit a button and like it's like like a heated seat But the whole car I've been looking over there on that tick tocker or whatever and that's that seems to be an issue Really old Chevy let it warm up Yeah, my Chevy loom dude that thing was a fucking tank
Starting point is 00:49:10 What are you saying t-bone not to be mr. D bunker guy But you know what I heard but uh in the the tesla app has an a snow melting feature Look at that. See he thinks everything this guy. Yeah, I just watched the yeah, wow Oh cut this Look at you. I'm not gonna look like it. Sure. I've been proven wrong like nine times Anti-electric car disinformation right here, but they're half that's I have I watched a guy complaining about it Fall fake. Oh a guy lying on the internet. No shit. Hey, nice to see you Hey, I admit it to the three bowls of cereal
Starting point is 00:49:48 So Fact check my fact check. Um, all right. This one. This is a good. This is a this is a good debate, which I don't I don't know where I fall on. I think I know where I fall on this and I'm Uh, I've been both of these guys. This is from Jay. Uh What is more garbage? Who is more garbage in the saying you fly I buy The guy going to the store or the guy paying It's gotta be the guy going I think right because he's typically
Starting point is 00:50:25 More broke. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I was a big flyer for a long time Say say say the the actual question one more time for me. Who is more garbage in you fly I buy Okay, the flyer or the buyer the most garbage is All fly you buy That's the trashiest when the guy who has no money Pitch because I've been that guy you pitch. I've pitched to somebody with money. Hey, want me to run and get you a pack of smokes Really? Yeah We're getting kitchens and stuff like that. Nobody had burnies or things were tight
Starting point is 00:51:02 You wait, so you're offering your flying services. Yes, that's bad. I'll fly real bad. That's the worst Hey, I'm poor. Can I have some of your stuff? That's what you're saying. I'll go get a half a tank of gaze. I'll go get it Wow, no, I'll buy you fly You're that guy Your class you got a couple of fojoles on you. Yeah You're the guy you're never going to buy and fly bitcoin. You know what I mean? You're all it's always it's always like coke a six pack burnies. It's never something classy. Yeah Yeah, I've been not buying them flying to get fucking health care
Starting point is 00:51:39 Run up and grab a round at the bar I'll buy you fly. Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's a good one. It's a good one. It's gotta be the flyer And then obviously you start even a question. What are you talking about the guy who's buying? He's he's got the money and he has people in servitude They're working for yeah, but there is something a little you know fucking Say he's lazy. Yeah, I mean, but it's like kind of Dismissive a bit because when you're going very dismissive. Yeah, which is not a case Very dismissive. It's like because people would do it to me be like, hey run down and I I mean, you know
Starting point is 00:52:16 I didn't have a right away, sir. Yeah, I didn't have a I didn't have a choice hop hop on the double. You know, you just gotta fucking do it Look alive out there. Yeah I'm fucking running down with two cases of beer 15 boxes of pizza Yeah, that's tough tough look but but the same as a hole is trashy Of course, let's go get let's run to the liquor store and get beer. That's what it should be Let's run and get an eight ball. Okay. What where? Uh, you should be saying I buy you fly. That's a that's inherently trash. All right. I'll give you this. Yes
Starting point is 00:52:49 Okay, you're right Because it's usually the loud cousin or aunt uncle or somebody that rolls in That's looking for looking to make a deal. Well, I got no beers. I'll tell you what I'll buy you fly, huh? Yeah Okay, yeah, yeah, it's trash Put in the book This is another one. This is from tyler, uh, florida man here new patreon just says beer on ice question mark And he backs it up. Which would I get you got to think florida? I think it's sort of nice and classy after a long day of work
Starting point is 00:53:23 It also sort of slows down the beer consumption medello on ice I don't understand. What do you mean? He pours it over ice. Yeah ice. Oh, I say man beers on beers on ice is beers in a cooler Like ice. I thought the guy had a cooler waiting for me to get on. No on ice. Yeah, um I don't know You know And this fusion age Where we're mixing everything culture. Yeah, you know, it's as far as like cuisine doesn't because the reason I say that is because
Starting point is 00:53:55 I see a lot of people drink, uh, bloody marys with beer instead of vodka. Sure things like that the mimosa the fucking um The mules now, you know, the like the moscow mule. It's everything's mixed together You know, they're sangrias and all this stuff I don't know where you're going with this. I'm saying it's very It lends itself to that that the the trend of fusion These days It makes because if you put a splash telling me ice in beer is fusion
Starting point is 00:54:27 I'm telling this it's it's dirt bag shit If you splash a little lime in it or something like that and a touch of pineapple do a clamorita or whatever Yeah, then it's some shit like that. But that's different. I'm talking about a fucking coarse light A coarse a coarse light on ice If you have it in a wine glass, I think you're okay My buddy's that's crazy. My buddy's grandma used to do it Uh, my mom dot She would drink course she'd have like three coarse lights at night
Starting point is 00:54:56 And they were on ice and we tried it one day because we're all we're in college We're all like what's she doing is crazy. I gotta tell you we have one on a hot summer day. It was all right Like any town usa baby watching the tide roll out, you know, yeah, that's that's that's why it's all right My point is is that everybody's mixing everything together these days culinarily All right, why can't you put ice and beer? That's what i'm saying it's but like I said beer isn't a maybe maybe maybe he puts a little lime in there Yeah, that's still beer. You're supposed to do that with breaking the rules doing things that you normally people think you're making a big jump here Well, well, I tried this guy this guy paying you on the side or something
Starting point is 00:55:42 Told him I'd get him off I was in a couple of free t-shirts for him too. Um How do you not get what i'm saying? How do you not I understand that's the first step into it. I'm saying if you added another juice or something to it But it's not it's ice. That's what i'm saying. You're you're going if you added more stuff and we're not saying that it's ice on beer That's wildly different than like if you poured grapefruit juice in it. That's Now that would be refreshing Yeah
Starting point is 00:56:11 The germans do this it's called a radler. It's like half beer half lemonade Oh my god on a hot sunny day. Does that have ice? No All right, take it easy Tough guy, huh? I don't know where that's what i'm talking about. There you go. Yeah, that's I understand You're talking about another thing Ice is a thing That normally wouldn't go in beer. Yeah, but you're talking about stuff that adds for taste. It's a progressive approach to beer. That's what i'm saying Okay
Starting point is 00:56:44 Sure. All right, so is it classy or trashy? It's trashy. Okay What I don't know what we're talking about here. This is he's got a couple rattlers and talking over, huh? He asked if you if you put beer ice and beer is trashy and you were like the sushi burrito was Insane you took like the most insane stance. I like the sushi burrito But at least toby gets where I was going with it. I just wanted to be understood I also to understand and you're talking about a completely different subject I think they're related and I'm telling you they are not there's a thin connection there
Starting point is 00:57:22 Nothing about you was thin There was a thin connection. No, no, no, no, no, no, no Majority rules here. T-bone says you're out. Well, he said it was a medello So I'm gonna assume there was a line in it, which means there is a second thing in no medello and corona in life That's that's all you're reaching here and you're wrong and you know it two bowls of cereal. Okay My ass your mother's ace All right, let's see This one's from your mother's butt don't think that's his government name
Starting point is 00:57:59 Uh ft ltay never had a question read ever own a boomerang Man that kid's good. I gotta give you that I I'm still gonna go. I'm sure there's I'm sure there's video and scientific evidence to prove me wrong, but there is no way those things actually work I think they do I they could fuck you up, too But do they hit you? What do they take birds out of the air? What's the main purpose for a boomerang? Is it a weapon or a toy kill dinosaurs? I think I don't get it There's no way I can hit a bird and then come back to you. It's definitely a weapon for sure. It's a weapon. I believe so
Starting point is 00:58:41 It's a weapon started out as a weapon that became a 70s american recreational activity. Shout out to dundee. There you go. You call that a knife If Great movies both of them were that was just one d and crocodile Crocodile dundee too. Let me tell you something that paul hogan. He's a hell of a fucking actor Yeah, was he always an actor wasn't he something else? I feel maybe but bad ass tough guy I feel like he was yeah, maybe I don't know like a rugby player or something Maybe rock band probably did it all he didn't do much after that. Did he he was really just done over there Yeah, over there, right? Yeah, I think he did his thing over there. He had a movie
Starting point is 00:59:17 Um Pretty well alligator dundee pretty well well after his prime. It was an independent film. I can't remember what it was He's a cutie cutie. Yeah tan skin blonde hair. Yeah him and the mrs Lisa kowalski or something like that. I don't know her the lady that was in the movie with her Ah, that's his wife fantastic. At the time or was it an on on set romance? I don't know. What am I fucking dany devito? I don't fucking know. What's that have to do with it? He was around around there He was boomy. He was probably had this scoop. They probably knew each other. Yeah, they probably did Sure. Tebow. Hey boomerang. What are you doing? Jesus christ. Hey bedbugs. Let's go. Yeah
Starting point is 00:59:56 No, no longer fucking dany dial-ups over here. What do you got? We just riffed for nine minutes on hoag paul hoagin over here Bedbug free uh, it's used for hunting. I was trying to find what they hunt with it It's gotta be birds. You can't be taken down a zebra with a fucking boomerang. I'm pretty heavy, man I'm telling you they're pretty heavy and they're pretty nasty. Yeah, there's two types There's the returning boomerang and then there's the heavy bike. That's just a fuck just a wallop something It's like a blackjack. It's a blackjack for the sky Yeah, Dave you throw it hard. Fuck you up. I get I get that
Starting point is 01:00:28 But how there's no way you can hit something then return to you So there's but then what's the return one do just for fun? No, the idea is that if you miss it comes it comes closer back to you so that you can get another shot idiot You'd never make it in a bush, would you? Okay, I'm gonna pull back from that He's gonna make a couple of two tree jokes there that uh had a How to pull an e-brake on I've seen one in person. I've of course. I've I'm sure you have I've seen one. I've been doing a fucking outback steak
Starting point is 01:01:00 I'll see you now. Let me tell you something. Do you remember when nerf came out with those? The the three Had three things on it. Yeah It's going on those things it is thought that that's That the shape is helpful for returning boomerangs makes it useful for hunting birds and small animals. Yeah Now is it true or is this like, you know, australian lore? Do they really can you well they really come back and you can catch them?
Starting point is 01:01:29 Like are they that So the ones that you hunt with I don't think are that are that good the performance ones correct Well, yeah, and like you can throw it and fucking Performance. I mean what the fuck, you know, but a spoiler on his bad boy. Maybe a cool paint job I think they're like boomerang halftime shows and shit like that. Really? We're at a rugby match Or like at a football game. I ain't never seen that it's a pickers game Not at the bears I don't know where you do that my friend, but it ain't over here. I can tell you that
Starting point is 01:02:01 I think they would fuck you up. Oh, I'm sure But I just I mean the effect the if I've never I've you only ever seen them in fucking crocodile dundee or what? I've never you know Never been in a street fighting someone put out a rang on you I wanted a bow and arrow when I was a kid kmart sold a red one That was like, yeah, you know that red one with the skinny had one. Oh that thing was lethal um Couple buddies had that wanted that
Starting point is 01:02:28 Just managed to smuggle in a chinese star At some point, I don't know how I had that wanted num chucks never got them I had the fake none. I had the the fake nun chucks never got to crossbow Yeah, I have like the plastic ones with the with the padding on them They were like, you know, you get a like fucking party city or whatever. Oh, yeah Sure, halloween. Okay. Sorry the fuck talking about weapons. I'm an arm and myself here. Sure I uh I really wanted um
Starting point is 01:02:59 The wrist rocket Never got one of those going over this is where you called me a bad kid I had a wrist racket at a blow gun at a paintball gun baby guns m80s the whole blow guns insane Yeah, that's insane. Pennsylvania or not, uh, not the state fair the flea market at the racetrack on street road Go ahead about 15 bucks. You get yourself a blow gun. Have a little paintball. Yeah, they got an engagement ring there one year Ha ha ha ha that knives. I was big on knives. We just talked about this, but I was big on knives. Of course. Yeah Good stuff. All right. Let's do one or two more and rip her up over to your Uh, bup bup, uh, this is just an of course
Starting point is 01:03:37 This is from george ever held the wheel from ever held the wheel from a passenger seat while the driver hits a pipe That was as a child exclusively fucking Of course Smo, you know fucking yeah courtesy to the driver blunt cruises or whatever, you know But I remember doing it when I was a kid and my dad was like fucking with his coffee or something like that My mom take the wheel first yeah grabbing the wheel That was always a rite of passage because that was always felt like an adult you went from you went from turned around
Starting point is 01:04:07 Well, we weren't but most kids you went from turned around in the back seat to face forward in the in the back seat to the front to the front seat then to Hey, hold the wheel. Were you big on seatbelts as a family? Huge. Really? Yeah, my dad was Seatbelts all day never Never never never at a certain point in the 80s. No, we didn't know about them even in the 90s We'd be we'd see a cop or they did that click at her ticket right that would fake put it on You know, they would sometimes they'd be standing at intersections when they did click at her ticket
Starting point is 01:04:40 Pennsylvania did like this initiative to every driver has to be buckled We would just fucking fake it you too. Yeah, man. He's showing you the ropes, huh? She got her out of game the system Now flick your cigarette at him Ask him if you've committed a crime If I've committed no crime, can I please leave? Am I being held for anything? Am I under arrest, sir? Dirt bag. Yeah All right. Good stuff. Good stuff gang. We love you. Love you come out and see your show. Yes
Starting point is 01:05:18 Sign up pretty old patreon. Uh-huh subscribe on the youtube's there. Yeah, also the clip channel We just uh, we get with the clip channels up and running that's going to be cranking out We got a new guy luke cranking out content on ad every week sign up for the fucking clips channel Hit the clips channel. We got a lot of fun things coming down the line here. We appreciate you We love you and we'll see you next week. Peace

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