Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - PATREON: Hard Feelings - Foleyville

Episode Date: October 4, 2022

Here is an episode of Hard Feelings w/ Kippy & Foley from the Are You Garbage Patreon Page. Join the Patreon for weekly Hard Feelings and bonus episodes of Are You Garbage. Thanks for watching. Love y...ouse guys. PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Let's go. Come on. Oh, so. Fatty. Fatty. Fatty. Fatty. Fatty. Fatty.
Starting point is 00:00:10 Fatty. Fatty. Fatty. Fatty. Fatty. Fatty. What's cooking? Dang.
Starting point is 00:00:18 Welcome back to the hard mother fucking feelings. I'm your host H Foley this week fucking taking the reins. I'm driving the bus. I'm making all the stops. I'm going to blow him crazy down for all for everybody listening and or watching. He was just going through Instagram to find out who won followed him and he ain't happy about it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:00:36 Next stop. Psychoville. And the fair is free. How about that? Kevin James Ryan sitting across the table from me. What's up? Kippy. Hey gang.
Starting point is 00:00:46 Thanks for tuning in. Motherfucking homie. Fresh haircut. You're looking spiffy. You're looking sharp. I mean you see me about 14 times after the fresh cut. You got it yesterday. Any other day before?
Starting point is 00:00:54 I bought it now. I got it two days ago. We've been together every single day since I've gotten a haircut. I like your hair shorter. There's older pictures going around with you and you look real 80s. Okay. It looks like you got a two pay. Okay.
Starting point is 00:01:08 Looks weird. All right. Camera what the photo was but I like it like this. I like it cut. Yeah. Like it's thin. I tend to keep it shorter. It's just when we get jammed up on a road and in the back and you miss those.
Starting point is 00:01:18 There's you know if I miss it by two weeks it's a tough. At this point now long would be bad right. Like if your hair was as long as mine. Real bad. Also hold on. I got a lot of things to get to. Keyboard teacher. Give it up for Tebow McMuffin Toby McMullen ladies and gentlemen.
Starting point is 00:01:34 What's up dudes. Fire away. Baldi. Pretty good. Kids got my number today folks. What do you got? You got beef. You were eyeball me before we hit the fun button.
Starting point is 00:01:42 I got a lot of stuff. All right. But this haircut business just raised this that I'd forgotten about. I go to this place over there on 57th street to get my haircut outside of my neighborhood because I've said multiple times I live in a predominately Dominican neighborhood and they don't cut white people's hair normally. I know that. Pet go.
Starting point is 00:01:59 Go ahead. They give it. They give you like you know cool guy Dominican haircuts and I don't you know I'm not I can't be walking out there with a fucking ginger strap and stuff all lined up with my points cooking. Chocolate. Chocolate. I can't walk out like that.
Starting point is 00:02:11 You got the Puerto Rican flag shape in the back of your head. So I got to go to like regular regular a tat your neck real quick. I got to go to like regular guy haircut. You know not cool guy haircut. I need regular white guy middle aged white guy. I need a barber shop. You know you need a barber shop around midtown. That's where I go.
Starting point is 00:02:31 I used to work right around there. So I would go to work and I found this place. So what's your guy's name in there. Russ. I don't have a guy. I jump around. Well the state also to the staff after the quarantine flexible. They're taking anybody.
Starting point is 00:02:48 Yeah. They used to be one of those things you walk in there's like fucking 80 chairs like a lot of time they were fucking burning and turning a lot actually got recognized last time I was there. This guy was cutting me up. And the guy behind me goes he was done his cut and he comes he's a huge fan. I got thanks. The guy cut my hair was not impressed.
Starting point is 00:03:06 So I got the main guy. You know there's a main guy sure guys change two or three times over the past three or four years. Right. I always an owner. I don't know if it's growing up our main guy was Alex shut up to Mr. Rudd Telly. We used to that's I think we were just talking about this. My family was Charlie's you go to Charlie's get your hair cut and then Charlie's spell
Starting point is 00:03:30 that Charlie Charlie as an element or there's an R in there. He's a he's a dirt ball. Yeah. You got a Charlie's Charlie. Charlie. I would tell you that I grew up with a Charlie like proper. He was called Charlie at six seven eight nine ten eight Charlie Kelly and they go where's he tended bar now.
Starting point is 00:03:48 No no no good good smart kid athlete fucking stellar baseball player proper like through college whatever OK and the one teacher was like going through roll call the first year like junior high or whatever and he was like he was like Charlie Kelly and it was like tell me what you want to be called or whatever. I was like Charlie Kelly and he was like yeah it's Charlie and the guy was like 30 and I can't call it. I can't call an eighth grader Charlie like I don't he's like you got to be. Over sixty yeah we know him young man but we were at Charlie's we were a Charlie's
Starting point is 00:04:26 organization and then Jim Charlie's brother defective defected and opened up his own shop in my hometown with Jim and then well it was it was just local was Holland Barber. That's where we went. It was right there was right down next to the wall walk where you fucking grab a Sambo on the way out. So that's where we went but the main guy at this one has changed so the past two times my first time with him was last time right with the main guy when I got recognized. Follies cut in your hair.
Starting point is 00:04:59 That's pretty good. It's a deep cut. Shut up. Shut up for the hosting Cleveland. So we get so I get so it's that it's that guy right I was like maybe six weeks so I pushed it too long right. You know running around this goddamn country of ours and the guy I sit down and I was a little wonky.
Starting point is 00:05:19 My don't grow in. I got like like I said I multiple times I have like a baby doll's hair. It's really thin. It's not great. It's like cutting the grass at your grandmother's house. A lot of things you got to go around. Sure. It's a lot going.
Starting point is 00:05:30 It doesn't grow great. Like even the side like where they're most of it's weeds where they spray me down with the red X or whatever. Well you got dandy line on your head dog shit. He sits down and I'm stepping dog shit when you walk through Gimpy's yeah we got any more you can squeeze out of this. Okay. Good.
Starting point is 00:06:05 So I sit down he starts doing like you know he's like not happy with what he's looking at. Right. He's like like the back because I'm all it's I'm all wacky and he's like dude you're bald man. Now when he goes he goes where'd you get your haircut last I went here and he did it you fucking did it because I'm like you he goes who did it and I had a family fucking you did and he's like now he feels like an asshole and now I feel like an asshole I gotta quit
Starting point is 00:06:39 drink everyone's looking at him it's a fucking scene dude like I'm like he's like I must have been a long time ago I'm like yeah yeah he's like you waited to come back like yeah fucking I'm like hey fucking Edward shaky and let's fucking go zip me up will you get me the fuck out of here cutting you with a weed whacker. I feel the past few days that was that was an aside the past few days you have been in Foleyville ask a bit okay and yesterday my wife got to see that proper first hand in an all time Foleyville ask we recorded a podcast yesterday with Francis Ellis yeah and Julio got a lot they too hot good looking guys they are kids they're really they are like the summer
Starting point is 00:07:29 us they're way better looking way more money they're really doing it those two cool guys you can see you're happy about this story already I got my hand on the trigger go ahead do you know where I'm going the what I was talking where do you think I was talking about two different things we were talking about nine different things right we could but I don't I think your perception of Nadine is wrong I could I'm just gonna say sure I thought she was mad at you because you were kind of being very short the thing with the phone and the and the looking for dinner I don't know I would you trying to say I was on her radar I got a she said something to me what did she say what's wrong with him really dude see bone this is the conversation I
Starting point is 00:08:15 don't know about this also I was also this could be thick news Debo and I was there it's not and I was also frustrated not for a short because the situation you were in another world you were mad at you were I wasn't no I wasn't mad you were focused on something else and you guys were dealing with dinner I was just slow in the conversation I was just oh you were having your own content dude we're down there and he's like he's sitting there he's smoking a cig and me and Nadine are like oh where do you want to go you know I was like I talked to Francis he's like yeah nowhere around here there's no real great restaurant around here or whatever and uh what are you doing I'm getting my water I'll have you know so about the fucking below this story wide open
Starting point is 00:09:03 so we're sitting then I'm like where do you want to go spotlight but me and Nadine are talking right we're having a proper conversation about where we're going to go to dinner and there's three of us in like a fucking triangle you know it just the two of you going to dinner just the two of us going to dinner I was invited dude you were on another planet at this moment it was really bad I don't think I really was to be honest with you the way the conversation I thought we I thought you and I were having a kind I didn't realize that's I'm saying how much of another planet you were on we were not having a conversation I thought I think you were just checked out of the conversation that buddy no there was no cut to okay so go ahead uh we're
Starting point is 00:09:41 sitting there um and this is outrageous continue you seem to be having a lot of fun with it by the way so we're sitting there and he goes uh I go we're me and Nadine are talking about where you want to go to dinner we're like oh we can go wherever you know do you want to stay here do you want to drive to Williamsburg whatever we were going to do you know pasta tacos whatever and he you started talking about private school and taxes you go that's the thing with then you got to pay the taxes and you got to roll in private school that is I was continuing the conversation we were having with uh yeah he was no longer there that was I I even preface it with like you know it's funny to think about yeah like even if you have the money to afford a place like
Starting point is 00:10:24 that no you didn't no you didn't I'm pretty sure I did okay you didn't okay um and then you also did that I go what are you talking I was like what I had a really it because you were out there uh-huh you are not happy with this that's not happy I just did that yeah I just uh I think you're wrong okay fair enough all right well then then you started talking about people at a club out of nowhere again when we were still talking about dinner and now you're off taxes you're off private schools okay we started I go what are you talking about go yeah whatever we go back to talking about what restaurant or where we're gonna go eat and you're like dad they came up to meet the club and this and that you were also you then you were in another place okay um okay I don't know what you
Starting point is 00:11:17 want me to say I don't know I thought we could have a little fun with it that's all keep going um well so let's see what this let's see what this ends I think that was I started with you and I were on the same team and you were the bad guy in that situation okay because you were short with the phone giving it to her because this was in the middle of you of you being literally in left field so that's so that's what so I was the reason you were being short I wasn't sure when you were like I don't want to look it up on the phone and then she asked me for my phone and you're like here use mine she said I think we both thought your phone was dead what no her phone was dead okay I don't think you're misremembering it I'm pretty sure her and I walked away like that guy's a bozo
Starting point is 00:12:02 sure because I'll give you that's the conversation we had in the car really she goes what was he talking about I go I literally I go that's full that's throwing me under the bus because you did know what I was talking about we were having a conversation upstairs with Ellis seven minutes before that with other parties involved sure but it would have made sense what was he talking about I would I would respond oh we were talking to Francis yeah okay but that's not how okay sure of course obviously you didn't do that sold me out I mean we I was having we were having fun with it you seem to be taking offense to it but I'm like offense is the right word I would say I just remember you're defensive I remember I just remember it
Starting point is 00:12:41 differently and I would say the guy was having three different conversations with himself in a conversation does it his memory might not be as crystal clear as you proceed I thought I was talking to my friend the other two people in the conversation didn't know what you were talking about and you were talking about three different things what does bird have to say nothing you're an idiot but the bullshit you're an idiot you're a bozo I was just saying I think you've been in Foleyville a lot that's what that's how this conversation started yeah and I used yesterday's example of you it was like you know beautiful mind ask of like it seemed like there was a lot going on up here I'm moving fast these days I'll give you that happening in reality that's what I want to
Starting point is 00:13:19 say the wheels were spit we're cooking up here I feel like I'm at the top of my game right now and everywhere else in the real world wasn't really clicked it huh that's what I would that's my assessment all right I could be wrong you're both rats tell you that right now I thought I thought her and I were on the same team what do you mean team that in that I've explained this three times to you yeah dude that was a half a second you know we it was very curt curt say he was curt he was curt he would have been like what's the did you end up going to do what I've known about the taxes and or the private school and or the people at the club and or the third thing if you buy a nice piece of property out there in Brooklyn
Starting point is 00:14:04 you still got to fucking figure out with the maintenance fees and all this stuff it's it's a racket out there to be honest with you where'd you end up going to dinner though

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.