Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - PATREON: Hard Feelings - The Soundbar
Episode Date: October 18, 2022Here is an episode of Hard Feelings w/ Kippy & Foley from the Are You Garbage Patreon Page. Join the Patreon for weekly Hard Feelings and bonus episodes of Are You Garbage. Thanks for watching. Love y...ouse guys. PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage
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are you garbage? By the way, this is more of a hard feeling. My sound bar does not work.
The volume button doesn't work. You mute it and it turns itself back on. If you turn
it off, it turns itself back on and it's a double echo between the TV volume and there.
I got to have somebody come and take a look at it.
Your TV stinks and that's the issue. Or you hooked it up wrong. Why would it turn
on? It was this AI. What'd you fucking sell me? Just gonna attack me in the middle. I
have one in my house. I got no screens. I have one in my house. It works perfectly.
This is all ploy to steal my screens. How's yours working, Kippy? Yeah, I can tell you
for one fact. That's not a word. Never. I can tell you for a Johnny Stevenson fact.
I would bet it is not in my trunk. I would argue in the backseat. No, I would argue to
believe that is no longer in his possession anymore. That is no longer in his possession.
That got left down the shore. It's down the shore. Are you fucking kidding? We're gonna
use it down the shore. We go there once every three years. Turn my new shore house. What
you gave me? What new shore house? I'm kidding. Oh, yeah. The one you're buying in 12 years.
Wait till that recession hits. Just waiting for the market to drop. How can you be mad
at me for using the gift how I want to use the gift? Is it not using it? Using my family's
vacation home. What? That's crazy. Why? Because it's for your house. No, you got me a gift.
It's crazy that you've been ramming these down our throats. That's not how gifts work.
Then you find out the volume button don't work. No, you hooked it up, bro. This guy got us a
willard. I don't need this thing, team, and I want the blender to come get me. Are you fucking serious?
You have a nice TV with horrible speakers on it. Why wouldn't you want nice speakers? It doesn't work.
You said it up, bro. I didn't. Did you plug it into the Arc port? Hey, nerd alert.
That sounds like Dungeons and Dragons anal over there. I'll give you an orc port. She wouldn't
let me put it in the Arc port. Trying to use drugs like it's taking it in an orc port. What?
What are you saying? She gives up the old, the old Arc port. You see what I do with people?
Do you see that? Drop it in the HDMI. You hear a complain. Well, I'll tell you one thing for
sure. Christmas is fucking canceled. I'm getting you a drum set. I'm doubling down. I think I said that.
I ain't stopping till you got a whole band. You bring the Jackson five. You been selling me this
slide. We rearranged the whole thing. We did buy another extension for the TV stand to do it.
Wait, you bought another one? What? You have another sound bar at the house. You went and bought a
proper one. What do you mean a proper one? Not when you got it. David Buster's. How many tickets
is that by the way? Having a hot hand in a ski ball game. Also, you're all high and mighty on
your gift. You lied to him for six months. Six fucking months. You lied to him. And I got news for
you. That Nintendo switch stinks too. You bought it. Fucking Mario Kart. I know it's not good.
It's not good. I lied on it or nothing. But it was because you were just broken as hard about the
base. He lied to you. I'm at least honest. And now he's yelling at us for dirt ball. Who gives a
gift and screams at the recipients about the gift? Because you've been saying it for months.
I know. But then I got down. I got down the shore. It was in the trunk. I said, you know,
better off throwing it out here. Okay, he's pick up on Sunday.
I'm never giving you a gift ever again. Either one of you. How much were they?
What does that have to do with anything? Because I think they're cheap and they stink.
That's what it has to do with it. Guess how much it is. $40. You're fucking insane. 35.
They were 200 bucks a piece. Oh, man, you got, you got T-mo'd right there. No, you set it up wrong.
I'm still having it over. I have it on the oven. I'm cooking it surrounds them.
You hear that sizzle?
That ain't no gold. You can actually smell the cheese.
We got to figure out. We got to redo Christmas.
Some adjustments need to be made. Just give each other cash.
We're not giving each other anything. No, we got to. We've got a year of content out of this.
What are you crazy? It's fun. I love that you left it down the shore.
Oh, where do you have it in the trunk? Got that all set up over there. Nice.
Sounds great. Sounds real good in my garage. I am legitimately personally insulted by that.
That's crazy. He's using the box to keep pool noodles in.
Okay. It's just because you be honest. Did you throw it out? You threw it out.
You threw it out. I didn't. I didn't. Where is it in the end of your month? It's in the
fucking garage. It's not in the air conditioning. I can tell you that whatever it is, there is no
essential air. That's definitely in the garage. The essential air in the city.
Where is it? You threw it out. You threw that thing out. Fuck, why don't I just throw mine out?
I get a fucking fight terminator in the middle of the night.
All right. I wouldn't say it's at my mom's house per se.
It's within the city limits. It's on the property.
It's out. Is there, you don't have a shed. No. It's in a trash can. No, no, no. It's being used.
It's hooked up. Really? Yeah, it is hooked up. Volunteer fire station. What do you have?
Did you give it to your cousins that hooked the bar up? Yes. Did you tell them it was,
do you bought them a gift or did you say, hey, Toby gave me this and it sucks? Do you want it?
No. Was Toby's name mentioned when you went there? Yes. For sure. For sure. For sure. Yeah,
I got Toby one too. He loves that thing. No. You re-gifted? I didn't re-gift. No, he's got to
listen. It's a conglomerate of houses. No. They're at that house all the time.
It is. That's a, that's a, that's a, that's a Sullivan household. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bring the base down there. No, so. That base will look nice in there.
It's turning into Tootie South. It wouldn't bother. Oh, that's pretty good.
It wouldn't bother me if you had tried it. You lied to me for six months.
This is like a full, this is like your stance in this argument is fully asked. No, no, no, no, no,
no. Listen to my argument. Listen to my argument. Didn't I ask you before I got it for you?
Didn't I tell you what I was getting you? No. Why did you just say you had one? I could have
took it back. I could have been playing Mario Kart all this time. Barely even a Jedi in my
fucking Star Wars game. Listen, listen, my, my, man, we are dysfunctional too. My deception.
As I handed it to him, like, this is going to come out at some point.
I was standing because you handed it to him. As I handed it to him, like,
because I'm Brendan, I was like, this is, my head, I'm like, this is bad. But we, in my,
this is, this is why, this is why it upsets me. Probably still in his car. It's not even in the
state. Buried in the pine barons. This is why it bothered me. They started shooting back at me.
This is why it bothers me is because if you had tried it and been like, I don't like the way it
sounds, I would be like, fine. That's reasonable. Sure. It's that you don't know. You've never had.
You didn't have a TV. Don't you watch shit on your laptop? He just got a brand new. I got a sick
frame, which has horrible speakers on it. It's how they bring the price down on the quality image.
Yeah, but I understand. I understand. I don't care about how my TV sounds. And I know that it's
tough for you. But it's only because you don't know. Yeah, but I don't care. It's so fucking me.
But you don't know. I'm telling you, it's better. I'm not saying it's not better. I don't care how
my TV sounds. You spent thousands of dollars for an image with no good audio. It's June and you just
tell them that now. I don't care how my TV sounds. No, in a perfect world. See, this is a little bit
of Toby's fault, by the way. No, it's not a shitty gift. No, I got you good gifts that you're too dumb
for. You say you know, that's a nice thing to say to somebody every day. The watch is the only thing
and the thousand fucking dollars we gave you a thousand jihads. You don't got to hook that up to nothing.
Man, what's what is it a Clark? What's the company's name? Polk.
Oh, don't they make me? It's not a pork company. It's the best sounding soundbars for the
sandwiches last week. For the value. That's what garbage people say. Oh, yeah. For the money. It's
the best you got. All right. This is have money. It sucks. No, it's just a lot of the soundbars have
features that you guys will never use. Yeah, like a soundbar. We're working for a volume button.
It if you hook it up correctly, your regular remote handles the volume. Mine might not be hooked up
correctly. I'm looking into it now because I didn't realize the bird hooked it up. I didn't
realize it on top is controls as well. Yeah, it's a quality product. I'm just guessing. I don't
really know. I didn't realize there was a looper in the anyways. I had to refree the fracker, John.
Man, we should start bringing that on the road with us. That thing set it up in every green room.
It's easy. You just use the mega port. It does function as a Bluetooth speaker. So it came up.
Or a robot assassin. Or someone to kill you in your sleep.
The Arc port. It's like that weird little plug, right? They're all weird little.
It's an HDMI port that also handles audio. Yeah, I know. I help my cousin set it up a little bit.
I'm literally never giving either one of you a gift ever again.
I'll show you a picture. Looks good. It's being it's it's good. I'll you dude.
All right, hold on. Let's fucking put it. I hope it's still in the box. Just sitting on the table.
No, look.
Oh, man, that's good shit. That is come on.
It's hanging on the wall. That's nice. That's where that belongs.
What are they watching over there? Oh, some little scantily clad. Charlie Demilio or whatever.
Wow. That looks really nice. Found a good home. Found a good home.
They have any of their TVs in that house? They can use another one.
Only used once. Hey, BKLs, hit me up if you want one for the inside too.
I have five months to plan my vengeance. What are you going to give us a worse gift?
I got you. All right. It's a wheelbarrow.
So listen, Toby made me take that the other day. He made me take it. I slipped up and
he made me take it too. I slipped up and said I was driving. You're lucky it was light. Otherwise,
that thing, I would have left it in the parking garage. I kicked that thing out in the fucking
hallway. I was going to get you a sicker one that had like a subwoofer and then I was like,
they'll complain. So I got you just the bar. Thank you. That's the nicest gift anyone's ever
given me. Not giving me something I got to carry upstairs. That may or may not work.
So there was a long shot. I told you, I got to take that home when I'm in the mood to set that up
because I'm not a set up guy at the house because one again, and this sounds mean, I didn't mean
it to be mean. It's two plugs. But I don't care about how my TV sounds. I understand that's a
thing. Hold just, you're not letting me explain. I understand that's a thing for you and it is
better. I'm not saying it's not better. It's probably a radio shack. We're not dorks. 10,000
times better. No, you're just dumbasses. I just, it doesn't mean anything to, there's no,
I got so I'm going, but it will when you hear it and you're like, wow, I've been living in the
goddamn stone age. I'm not going to hear it. You sound like you sound like Buck in Boogie
Night show. It's all those stereos. Yeah, walking around with your bone density scanner.
You hear that? That's the maximum orc port allowed by law.
So he gives it to me. I begrudgingly take it, put it in my car. I saw you carrying that thing
like it was Jesus on the cross. You were dead in the water because that's, I was,
that's where that thing was going to live for the foreseeable future because I wasn't in them,
because it might have, I'm going, I'm going to take this up and it's going to be a thing.
It's going to be sitting there. She's going to go hook it up when you hook it up.
But he showed up and his cousins forgot a bottle of wine was rummage around the trunk.
Oh shit. No, worked out perfectly. If we was in the trunk, we drive down the shore that next day
or that next morning, even that night, I think. I can't believe Nadine signed off on this. It was
her idea. So we're sitting there and he's going, we're sitting there. She knows trash when she
sees it. I think in her apartment, that thing, Annie. No, Sennheiser. I'll tell you that much.
I am done. Sennheiser, a German company. That sounds like a German name. Could be Swiss or
something. I don't know. Um, so either way. Either way, people want to shorten each.
Keep the funding down, man. I don't know what they're doing with the money.
Number 10, overpriced mini bar. No. So we're there. We're hanging out at the bar. He's
christened the bar, just got done everything and he needs a sound system that he's playing music
out of a solo cup in his phone. You want him doing that? So Nadine goes, he goes, oh, I got to get
something for the TV and for the music. And I go, I didn't even think I'm about fucking 19
claws deep at this point. Foley toes, as I call them. And Foley toes. Yeah, claws. Pretty good.
I was just happy you mentioned my name in front of the family. And she goes, oh, why don't you have
that soundbar in the trunk? She goes, she goes, I know you're never going to set that up. And I
said, you're right. There's only one man that doesn't. Yeah. It's two plugs. It is. Because I
get, yeah, he opened it up right away because I was leaving. I go, oh, here you go. I put so much
thought. I even left. We drove about 20 minutes. I turned around to give it back to him because
I had forgotten about it. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I dropped it
off at his house in Philly for him. I wish like I have to give them an idiot proof gift.
Go dumb. That will enrich your life. Don't go technological. Just get us somebody. Catch
us, man, or something. I know what I'm getting you next year. What? I'm not telling.
Well, this is what we'll do. Save time. Call your cousin. Ask him what he needs done at the house
before you go make any purchases. But you made someone's. He was stoked. So stoked.
Because he's like, I gotta, gotta, he couldn't pay to give you a little money for it. He couldn't
find the ARC port. I swear to God on his TV, like it wasn't like open. You have to like crack a
little piece of plastic off to get to the ARC port. These must be delicate ports.
Basically a standard HDMI port, but he couldn't feed because his was like kind of kind of like a
cap on it or something. So he couldn't find it. And I go, Hey, man, yeah, if it doesn't work,
you know, I don't know, whatever. And he's like, Oh, no, we're getting it to fucking work. And then
he was fucking super pumped. Send me the picture. He's like, we're all jacked up. There you go.
So somebody's enjoying the use it all summer, which is more than I would use it if it it
would use it every time you turn your TV on. That's under the assumption. I would ever set it up.
And he doesn't really watch that much TV. Yeah, I don't need surround sound for shark tank.
It's not surround sound. Your gift stinks. Your TV is the equivalent of a cell phone in a paper cup.
Yeah, I don't know where the, I've never been like the audio on this TV is good or it doesn't
register. If I can hear it, I go, it's good. I listen to talking shows. I'm not like there's
no explosions or anything. He's not watching an avatar. Yeah. It's all the same stuff. It's Judge
Judy. It's fucking whatever. You know what I mean? These are your heroes. I have a headache.
Dear listeners. All right. So Bluetooth speaker at the merch table.