Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Petting Police Dogs w/ Kippy & Foley
Episode Date: August 15, 2024Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live ...show! AYG Live Show Tickets: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ This Show is sponsored by BetterHelp Better Help: https://www.BetterHelp.com/GARBAGE Get 50% off your 1st box by going to https://factormeals.com/Garbage50 and use code GARBAGE50 Shopify: https://shopify.com/garbage Promo Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Gang, if you live in the great state of New Jersey, listen up baby.
This Saturday night, August 17th, we're going to be at the Count Basie Theater.
Yes, Red Bank, New Jersey, all tickets on sale.
RUgarbage.com. Plus you can get tickets for the Route 66,
Route 66 store and Philadelphia parks, you know, in December.
Get them now. We love you. See you there.
See you Saturday.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute
trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is Are you garbage?
You know it's that little show.
We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that at the
group to be classy.
Yeah, just a big old piece of trash trash trash trash.
I'm your host a truly coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here at Tooties in a new edition.
She called me with a ball tap upstairs.
Okay, I was naked.
I was coming out of the shower.
She really connected to them fingernails on her and that hurts my coasts coming at coming out of the shower. She really connected too. Got them fingernails on her.
Man, that hurts.
My co-host is coming at you from across the table.
Here's what we call a family episode here at RU Garbage.
Just the boys, the bozos and the homies.
Haven't had one in a minute.
It's been a hot one.
He's the CEO of RU Garbage.
He is an international businessman
and he holds the record for the most Sam's pizza slices
in one sitting.
Give it up for KJ.
Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
No one's ever going to touch thirty seven slices either.
Hey, gang, how you doing?
Shout out to you.
First of all, please make sure you review, subscribe on iTunes.
Sure.
Full video available on YouTube, as you know, those numbers are.
True to rip.
Cooking.
And obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com
slash are you garbage.
You go over there, you get all your bonus.patreon.com slash ru garbage you go over there you get all your bonus
content needs gang i'm talking years of bonus content you can sign up right now you get it all
right there a lot of stuff going on over there patreon it's a good good time and how about a
nice shout out to our producer extraordinaire the old magic man makes us all look good works the ones
the twos the threes and the fours he crosses the t's and he dodges the i's he's a little under the
weather today but he's here,
ready to go, give it up for T-Bone McScruffin.
W McAllen, everybody.
You can't prove I'm sick.
I'm fucking patient zero over here, dude.
I will not be dismayed.
Coming here, jamming up the squad.
Woo, woo!
I'm feeling great, top of my game.
Just took two pregnancy tests when he got free.
It's twins!
This kid's knocked up good.
Yeah, man, having a good summer.
You know what I've been dreaming about, though.
Everybody gets sick in August.
What?
Just getting sick in the summer sucks.
I was trying to blame it on the hotel AC.
Yeah.
Well, sometimes that's a good one to blame.
That'll get you.
Yeah.
Well, I respect that.
I knew it would go over with you guys.
Oh, yeah. Hey, if I can trash a Motel 6, I'll do it. Probably the pillows. You got to really
tailor your excuses to your employers. You mean lie to us. I got to lie to my friends
when I get there. I'm back. Oh, that's Starbucks in the morning. I'm back drinking. I'm hung
over. The Irish blue. Boys, I'm excited.
What's that?
This Saturday night, August 17th, we're going to be over at Red Bank, New Jersey for the
big AYG show at the Campaic Theater in the big theater.
I'm excited.
Big theater.
Very cool for us.
We started at the small one that holds like 300 something.
And I think we sold that one out maybe two or three years ago.
That was really cool.
Then we added a second show the next time and now we're back in the big
boy theater with our big boy pants, baby.
Summer went by quick man.
We're back out.
We're back out and I just for the Route 66 tour this just in what do you
got locked in the bus fully locked in?
All right got it.
We're all bunked up.
It's going to be nine of us.
We got a whole film crew coming out with us shooting a whole frickin thing. I got dibs bottom left bunk
Where what bottom left bunk you walk back to the left the first one? Yeah, okay, or I'll do the right
I'll do left or the right, but I want to be I want to be in another bus if I'm being honest with you
Be away from you you like being close to the fridge
another bus if I'm being honest with you. Be away from you.
You like being close to the fridge.
Wake up, get started.
Everybody's fucking leftovers.
Whoo.
Take my little snacks back to my little coffin.
Yeah.
But Route 66 is gearing up.
We got everything's almost locked in, which is crazy.
It's the longest run we've done.
It's like 10 cities in 12 days, Chicago to LA,
a bunch of small towns.
Shout out Flagstaff, shout out Tulsa.
Albuquerque. OKsa. Albuquerque.
OKC, Albuquerque, we're coming baby.
All tickets available at rugarbage.crom.
I love it.
Excited to be back out on the road with the boys,
cruising through the area.
Then we got parks.
And we got parks casino down there.
That's almost, that might be sold out
by the time this airs.
Good times.
Tickets are moving, we fucking love the air.
Then we're off to Hawaii, boys.
Don't get me freaking
I gotta share a room with Ryan D
We're doing Pearl Harbor tours every single morning 6 a.m. We're all dressed up in fatigues
the old-timey Sailor's
It's good. I got a little something
I've you know as we travel a lot and you know and now we've been home
We've been off the road for what like two months or something. So I'm a little longest stretch
I've been left to my own devices around couple indoor cats. I know I'm used to like
I'm not used to being home and cooking so many meals and you know, just being around. Yeah, I stumbled upon a
Little thing we've probably talked about it at some point, but I tuna casserole
A little thing, we've probably talked about it at some point, but I... Tuna casserole.
Hamburger helper.
Dude, I just picture you being like, I'm doing a lot of cooking, it's just frozen pizzas.
Eggs, it's a lot of eggs.
I've been doing a lot of eggs.
I've been doing a lot of eggs too.
Listen, you want to...
I got one for you too if you want to start talking culinary.
Hold on.
I'm sitting there, I mean, you can only you can only eat so many scrambeys.
You know what I mean? Sure.
You know what I've been doing?
Well, I've been laying off the bread, trying to lay off the bread.
Sunnyside scrambled.
Put your own yolk in there.
A little bit of a bad idea.
Everything bagel seasoning.
Oh, sure. Eggs, dude.
It makes it feel like it's a bacon egg and cheese.
It's dude, it's I've been putting that shit on everything.
Just lying to yourself.
It tastes like a bagel.
It also has bacon egg and cheese on it.
If you fry, if you burn the bottoms hard enough,
it kind of, you can kind of eat it like a Sammy.
I like it.
We've been doing a lot of couscous and eggs.
Believe it or not.
It's great.
Get some couscous.
You cook it.
I'm not doing, who's making that some couscous. You cook it. I'm not doing
who's making that much couscous. Takes two seconds. Are you a stilka stanza? It's one
box. Do you know what couscous is? The food's so nice to name it twice. New York, New York.
Couscous. Yeah, it's like I don't know what it is exactly, but I know enough to stay away from it.
I'm a Raceroni man. Call me, I'll let you boys.
Goddamn American over here.
Yeah, couscous dog.
It's great.
Yeah, it's fine.
And you throw a fried egg on top.
Or a little avocado in there. Not bad.
It's some-a-lena. If I'm doing that, I want a nice some-a-lena roll.
Yeah.
Some-a-lena.
Yeah.
Woo. Country singer? I love that new album. If I'm doing that, I want a nice semolina roll. Yeah. Semolina.
Yeah.
Woo.
Country singer?
I love that new album.
Yeah, I mean, how much, how many days...
Was that what you had, by the way, when you said you had something?
Uh-huh.
That you're putting salt and pepper on your eggs?
It's not salt and pepper, it's fucking...
It's everything.
It's everything, dude.
Listen, and the fact that you're dismissive of it is insane and then you come back with
I've been eating couscous.
That's like eating style.
I've been doing everything bagel seasoning for years on everything.
Then say, okay, cool, me too.
I take it and put it on cream cheese and then scoop a little pepper in there.
You're a fat ass.
I've been putting it on my shoes.
It takes the smell away. It's like it's all
natural Dr. Scholes.
Woo wee.
Hey, you get those everything bagels mixed in with the rest of the bagels, they're all
ruined.
Yeah, I never liked that. The places we would go would bag them up separately.
Yeah, you got to put those in fucking, what's it called? Search Max?
Is that what you use? Search Max?
What's it called when you put you put somebody in? Solitary confinement the hole now. That's pretty good though. You got to put them in the hole. That's literally the name of it now
Super max that's a prison sure you got to put them in super max is what you got
Don't throw this at me
I gave you a jumping off point you got stuck up on super max which was wrong
Did he ever you ever get any garlic on your cinnamon reason?
I'll ruin a morning. Oh, so you came back with patties getting screamed at if that you come back with couscous
That's the that's the blandest shit in the world. No, it's not
Yeah, it looks like this stuff in the middle of crabs when you open them up
Crab brains
That's he got some lungs and gills up in there a couple intestines. I would tell you that dude
We were my buddy. We were like we were probably like 18 20 years old and we're like, oh, let's get we had it
Everybody had we had enough cash. They're like, let's go get some crap. It was first time you saw that shit
We had enough cash to like let's go get some crap first time you saw that shit
What do we were like let's go get some crabs my this was an honest guy
Shit his pants on buddy. You guys are walking into a strip club
My one buddy Justin had never had crabs, and he was like well. I do when you have them You're just sitting there drinking beers catching eaters eating the crabs
I literally uh I literally we look over like all you know many were like trying to show him like hey open it up
You know whatever I get distracted. I look back over to he's got the crab shell open up
Click in the middle of it, and I'm like yeah
He's slurping up a yellow intestine into his mouth. These are pretty good
You a Klingon he died three days
Big dog I don't do that. Were you a Klingon? He died three days later. Rest in peace, big dog.
I'll never forget you. I talked, yeah, when I was waiting tables
at Devon Seafood, this couple came in
and ordered like a four pound lobster.
That was it, and they sat it down.
Whatever, I came back like 10 minutes later.
They had flipped over the shell
and took all that brain stuff and all that crap
and had like a little soup out of it
Dinner was on me
Hey guys girls you're all sad hey you and your brain sucking wife
Your BSW zombies table it do get out of here. Yeah, that's too much
I'm a claw meat man Goddamn gentlemen, give me some a whiskey get out of here yeah that's too much I'm a claw meat man goddamn gentleman give me some a whisking king out of here but that's
neither here nor there so we're here for we call a family episode as I said when
you sign up for the old patreon you get your question read on the air by Kevin
Ryan himself look at I don't like this thing that you're doing whatever you're doing
I can't tell if that shirts on forward or backwards with these new shirts. You're rocking. It's got a real crisscross line
It's good new shirt. You should try it sometime
You've been with new shirt. No, it's not. Yes, it is. Okay, and the here we're just gonna lie
We're gonna lie to the good people. I've seen it
I've never worn it on a Tuesday. I got my true classics on the way once they hit. I'm good
Mm-hmm. I'll be here in a couple of days. Okay soon as I order
Then I had to pay for a lecture shipping for the big boys
They're coming in cargo
Got two guys on the truck I gotta meet them at Newark You're working that big crane
Cigar hang out of my you gotta join the Union the longshoremen guys. I'm sorry about my outfit my wardrobes all jammed up in customs
Apparently use some sort of dye on it. It didn't pass inspection. Ah
All right, this one's from Tim. You ever have everything bagel seasoning?
Shout out to you now.
Hold on. You know, there's a guy, there's a chef who claims
that he invented that.
I mean, that's a relatively new.
Trader Joe's does it.
I know.
Is that where you get it from?
No, everybody does it now. But I mean, it's been a handful of
years.
You're saying everything bagel seasoning on it and white with black letters because that's the og I
Think I think it's called like everybody no, but I know there's a brand like everything but the bagel or something
It's called. I don't know whatever
It's a New York City creation, baby
David Gusson David Gusson a New Yorker who worked in a bakery in the 1980s. He means David Ruffin. The lead singer of the Four Tops.
Guy's in everything. They're here to see David Ruffin.
Who did it? David Gusson. And for what does he work?
Uh, worked at a Pep Boys, oddly enough.
He came up with the idea while working at Charlie's Bagels and Howard Beach Queens.
That makes sense.
Howard Beach, man.
Got a lot of good bagels out there.
Looks like a little bit of a mafia out there.
But he keep their mouth shut.
I'm not going to stop having the mafia.
I went to a bagel place out in Howard Beach when I was driving.
I wonder if it's the same spot.
Probably not.
Probably not.
There's about 900 of them.
It's fucking New York City.
I should be getting getting nickel for that
Set that pizza place. I've been to he probably have been there actually
All right, let's see speaking of culinary
This one's from knockoff bagel bites, and that's crazy. Wow is it garbage have left over deviled eggs for breakfast. Oh
That's I feel like listen. I'm not a big deviled eggs guy never have been but
That seems that's an after it's noon and onward
Maybe at a brunch if there's one or two, but that can't be your eggs in the morning
I listen I'm a fat piece of shit, right?
We all agree that say that we were getting in this with somebody not that long ago
Was it Luke combs that was saying deviled eggs on a regular
on a regular day, not a barbecue, whatever.
That's weird.
Deviled eggs the next day for breakfast, man.
That is an egg product, though.
And it's also the only thing that's different.
It's a it's practically a hard boiled egg.
And it's cultural.
Deviled eggs huge in the south.
And then I was popping up here.
You're not going to see him as much. I disagree with that.
Why would you disagree with it? You've never been to the south. Yes. What are you talking about? I've been every every city in the south and I was popping up here. You're not going to see him as much. I disagree with that. Why would you disagree with it?
You've never been to the south.
Yes. What are you talking about?
I've been every city in the south.
Not eating eggs.
We eat at Denny's and stuff.
You don't know what I do when I go up to my room.
Making double eggs.
You're making them in there.
Too fake. I got Zatarans cooking up there.
I know what's going on.
Yeah.
No, it is cultural.
They have it in more events.
It's more
available in the south than
they are up here. I don't know
why you're taking offense to
this. It makes me so annoyed.
Alright, I'm telling you based
on my own personal experience,
instead of seeing with my own
two eyes, you're going nope.
When I was in North Carolina,
all I saw was Craig because he
takes this. He takes this as
like you've never had deviled
eggs. He takes it personally.
They're they're at every one of
our functions all throughout the
year at the Foley family gatherings.
We do have a little Southern in us though.
Okay, yeah, y'all bang your cousins.
She was hot man. I was drinking.
It was all hopped up on these deviled eggs.
Yeah, deviled eggs the next day is a tough look. I'll also say this, can I say this?
Maybe we can get back on the same page.
We put a couple of bacon bits on them, that's a breakfast.
Mmm, the bald guy's not wrong.
Right? If you maybe mash an avocado in there, something, you get that.
That's a breakfast-y, you gotta, that's an egg at the end of the day.
I think, I will say this, I feel like the deviled egg has still not gotten,
has not crossed over, it hasn't gone Hollywood yet.
And I think it could that that mix in the middle can you can do something
with that, a deviled egg eggs Benedict.
You can get to do something with that.
Throw a little hollandaise sauce on it.
Can I say this? Please.
You know, we could bring it right into the breakfast arena.
Little everything bagel seasoning.
Hmm. But that's what I'm saying.
I don't know. It already has the Dijon and all that stuff in there.
Do you say Paparica? Paparica? Paparica.
Is it a Paparica? Yeah.
No, Paparica. I don't think it's Paparica. I mean, I'm bad with words and I don't think
it's Paparica. Paparica's an R&B singer from the 90s.
Sounds like a blues guy.
Now the cool tunes of Paparica.
I wanna get deviled with you.
Either way.
Swinging a miss.
Yeah, deviled eggs are out for breakfast.
Looks so short.
Plus, they're not great when they're in the refrigerator overnight.
You gotta let them sit out a little bit.
Sweat it out.
You gotta give them like 20, 30 minutes because they get the texture.
And the thing, that little bit of water pools underneath them.
But I don't hate it, man.
That on some toast, I'm in.
I think it's, I mean, like, it's, I understand it's weird, but it's not nuts.
I like how we hit the real issues.
That's how we get into it and then we fight over it. I mean
we are idiots. We were ready to scrap over the regionality of
deviled eggs. Is an iced tea okay for breakfast? Okay, they
have an iced tea? Nothing. I'm I'm well documented as nothing's
better than a diet coke and eggs. Sure. There's something
about that texture that gets me going
But I'm off the DC's talk about hitting you with the bubble guts
And that when the eggs in the diet coke. Yeah, that's a knife fight down
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All right, let's see here.
This one's from Thomas.
You ever asked to pet a police dog?
Yeah.
They seem so not like the police,. The old shepherd seem a bit.
Onry, the bomb sniffers, they seem cute.
They're typically like labs or something.
Here's the oh, they're catch one of them at the
guys, Bassett, the videos of when they retire
and they throw all the tennis balls at them,
which I feel like that would just scare the shit out of a freaking bullet gun.
Everybody down. I'm just kidding. Spark scare the shit out of them. Freaking eye bullet gun. Everybody down!
I'm just kidding, Sparkles.
Everybody freaks out.
I always thought that there was a tried and true rule,
no, you can't do it, because I've had some cops
be complete dicks about it,
but then I've had others be like, yeah, of course, why not?
I have the same thing with asking people if I could hold their gun
He is a cop right technically he's a cop you wouldn't go up to just some
Like some bike cop be like hey, can I pet you I kind of did that with the with the cop we ran into at the
garden oh
Yeah That with the with the cop we ran into at the garden. Oh, yeah He reacted he saw a cop with this with good-looking kid to New York is they get
Cop definitely had a little tiny in him cop little
vest on chain out
This guy he was anything. He was like something out of law and order man. He was like a looker
Stereotypical New York City beat cop who's like I just
seen him run that way or whatever you know. He got on and
his his badge was Foley and Foley he's with another cop it's
me Kippy and the guy running the elevator and I couldn't help
myself. He reacted like a nine-old saw a cop with his name. Foley?
Officer Foley?
No way!
I'm a Foley!
The cop, the other cop was like,
you looked like I was your handler
and you were special needs is what it looked like.
Sir, you got anything you're boxing or poke me?
No, you can't pet my friend.
Pack a Skittles on him.
If you're pre-diabetic or not my jam you up
Yeah, he was alright. Yeah, he did talk to me like I was an idiot I've been noticing a lot of people have been talking to me like an idiot. He got on the elevator
That sounds like it's all on them
They common to not what's the cam of paprika here? Is Aaron judge did that he kind of talked to me like I was an idiot
Sure, buddy. How you doing?
Hey good
You were eating nachos out of a foam finger
Shake them up a little bit
I've asked the pet of police horse which they're usually pretty cool with and
The police dog and every once in a while you know you can't do that. It's like stop. He's working man
I know he's working, but he's cute. You're not wrong. What are you gonna do? Uh
All right, let's see here. This one's from honeybee Brady. Is it garbage to watch your aunt cut off her ankle monitor?
That's a rough and no not at all I
Think I saw the queen do that
What's the deal with that what happens I think it's bad
It registers like it all at all it automatically alerts them okay, so what's the blue and white?
It's an officer fully to come get you
Automatically alerts them. Okay, so what's the blue and white? It's an officer foley to come get you
I'm up in the tub. Hey
officer my Shout out the officer foley. Look at you live in my dreams
Okay, so once you do that I've known people that have done that not my aunt
But I've known like dirtbags in the neighborhood that have done that. You're done, right?
You're on the lam. So I don't understand what the benefits of
it could be. I don't think these people are really forward
thinking. Yeah, they're staring down the barrel of like a
gnarly sentence, like a gnarly prison sentence, and they're
like, I'm out of here. Oh, you think that's what it is? I mean,
I don't think I thought you get the ankle monitor
when you're on house arrest.
There's a few different.
So you could get sentenced to having the ankle monitor.
You got to stay inside, right?
And they have ankle monitors that monitor
your like alcohol intake that supposedly you can slide
a piece of ham in between your leg.
I heard about that.
My boy had my boy was always good.
And they get fucked up.
You do you eat that as a late night snack after you get home.
A piece of ham.
Um, the only time I knew my the only person who close to me was ever on
house arrest was on the phone call program.
And they call at random time.
Yeah, you have to answer.
And they went seven, eight, nine, four.
And you had to go seven, eight, nine, four. And you had to go seven, eight, nine, four.
And then it would say four, four, seven, two.
And you go four, four, seven, two.
And it would hang up.
And if you didn't pick up and like, yeah, I'm making this up.
You had three rings to get there and it couldn't be a cordless phone.
Had to be a wired phone.
And my boy got like a 200 foot cable.
And he would just take that around with him everywhere he went to where he could
just go outside, catch eaters.
Oh.
He had like go out.
Hang out in the yard.
Yeah, go out to the garage.
But so he wasn't just like had to sit in his house.
Gotcha.
He wasn't just in the living room.
He was on a leash.
He was on a bit of a runner.
It's pretty good though.
Yeah.
200 foot.
It had to be the same phone every time.
Just get everybody to come over and hang out.
That's what we, what do you think we were doing?
Yeah, that's not bad.
Catch eaters with the police.
I've only ever known guys that had it as a sentence,
not as they were waiting on trial, like Uncle Junior.
It can go either way.
I've seen clips of guys using the same technique
that people use to like get music festival bracelets off.
Where you like loop and swoop it?
You put a bag in under.
Yeah.
And then you pull the bag out and it'll come out with it.
Uh-huh, I've seen that too.
It's pretty good.
Like a shoelace type trick or something.
But when you cut it off, you mean you're going. It starts beeping, it alerts
immediately. You're going. Wow. So that aunt probably was heading for the border.
I don't know. Maybe. Damn, that's crazy. Unless maybe she was just, you know. Just ride it out, man.
Just ride it out. Whatever it is. Big party down the street. You got to get your shore.
Could be your lucky night. You know what I mean? Man.
All right. Let's see.
This one's from Peanut Patrol.
Ten dollar tucky here. Never have one read.
Is it garbage you use the pieces in clue as monopoly pieces?
That's that guy ain't paying rent for going to be the rope.
Hangman. I respect it.
That's a good time um
Yeah, that's tough. I was never a monopoly guy
I remember playing once and my dad and my brother almost came to blows real young I
Played clue a little bit, but never who was all right who was fun once
I figured out actually I must have been like eight or something when like it actually made sense
I'm like your problem solve it of like, okay
Well, if it's not that then it's one of the you know, detective fat ass. It was me my mom on a Friday night
I'll never forget it. It was the candlestick in the lavatory and the candles. It was covered in cheeto dust
Well, we hit I hit a certain age when like in the bathroom with the peanut butter
I Don't we've discussed this on the pod dancing with the peanut butter. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha that to be honest with you because the clue pieces are a lot better or fuck it just be a Battleship well I mean as like an eight-year-old if you had a little metal gun are taking properties
The Navy rolls in hey Baltic Avenue's ours yeah, I have an aircraft carrier take the rail
Respected yeah, I mean that's always as coming from a dirtbag family. You were always piecing something together
You're playing cards. You're missing an eight. You're doing you know, the monopoly pieces are missing
That was a big thing. You gotta use that if you would find out what you were you would count the cards you go
Okay shit, we have 51. Mm-hmm. And then you go, what are you missing?
You do like all right, here's four to use a joker and the Joker, and you would just write like, that's the new way to hearts or whatever.
Which the Joker is-
Or the instructions.
The Joker is not in any card game at all, right?
I would, can you get a look on that, Toby?
I would assume it's more of old school stuff.
Okay, you go to a casino,
there's no card game that, well, Joker.
In my head, it was always like Joker's wild,
like, oh, he's got a Joker.
It was this like mythical type card, but I don't, I mean, I would assume back in like Joker's wild like, oh he's got a Joker. It was this like mythical type card.
But I don't, I mean I would assume back in like
the wild west days it had more of a use.
You played Super Max Monopoly?
That's no get out of jail free cards.
This guy's a super man, put him in the hole.
Card games that use jokers.
Canasta, which I think you gotta like Matlock
to know how that game works.
Euker, Indian Rummy, probably not the...
Native American Rummy.
Sure.
Chase the Joker, Pitch, Go Fish.
This is all...
Go Fish, War, and Crazy Eights.
This is all stuff you see at an Indian casino.
This is all stuff from Vegas Vacation.
That was great.
That's all right.
We all, I mean, the checkerboard was hit or miss.
We never, we weren't a big games family.
We had checkers.
There was always a button or a bottle cap or something that was filling in for one of
the checker pieces.
Yeah, we never, I was always too young.
By the time that I got older, my brother and sister were out.
So we weren't like, let's all sit around and play part cheesy
Boggle hit for a minute when I learned how to spell that was that the pop thing. No, that's a trouble. Ah
Trouble I'm over trouble me. I used to play boggle with my grandmother. Did you play Yahtzee?
We did learn at one point. Yeah, that might as well have been we chemical engineering to me
I remember we figured it out in Long Beach Island. I don't know why the fuck we were in long my dad got all hoity-toity
We rented a house for a week in Long Beach Island
You were hiding out it must have been like due to monsoon the whole time
We couldn't go to the beach once and the house had Yahtzee in it
So we taught ourselves how to play Yahtzee and play Yahtzee for five in a quick 72 hours
Yeah All right this one this one's for Toby this is ran to these parole officer way very two hours. The camp trip. Yeah.
All right. This one. This one's for Toby.
This is ran to these parole officer.
Way very, very on the nose.
You ever fake sick so bad you start believing in it?
Yeah, I've been there, dude.
Yeah, I literally had to be like, you're not sick, dude.
Like you made this.
Are you an hour ago? Yeah. Yeah.
I remember really selling it at my elementary school
And then like I got in the car And I was just like what am I doing? I really felt like so I really thought I was sick
I think sick a lot you yeah, you're a pathological liar. I think is the word
It's just a tickle. You'll press. Yeah munch house and syndrome
That's what you munch everything in the house. There, Toby's quick.
He might have a fever, but he's on point.
The flu game.
That's what I was about to say.
Munchausen syndrome was your parents make you believe you're sick for attention.
Oh, like the girl in Sixth Sense.
Never saw it.
And this is a thing, Pat claims I've ruined it for him,
but I've never, he's still upset
that I've ruined the Sixth Sense for him,
but I've never seen it.
Okay.
Okay.
Does that bother you?
No, I'm not, I wanna be one of those guys,
oh my God, you're crazy. Oh, well I want to be one of those guys. Oh my god. You see it's crazy
Oh, well you seem to be holding it in real cool. I
Was it what year did it come out?
99 maybe earlier. I mean I don't know what to tell you man
I don't want to be that guy, but but I'm gonna be that guy. That's crazy 99 nailed it. That's crazy. I was
12 maybe that makes sense
Yeah, I don't know and And then once I found out what is okay.
But you've seen it. You didn't you didn't see it in 99. No, I
saw it on VHS a few years later, years later. Yeah. But I already
knew the hook. How and I'm scared of movies. How How did
you know the hook? That was that's all the whole time that
came out immediately. That was the spoil. That's just pre spoiler alerts her that was dude. Do you mean I hear he's dead the whole time
I will say that
Wait, I'm not his wife was just a bitch
That would have scared you that that. No, hold on. Sure. At 12 years old, that might have changed the person that you are now.
I might change the person I am now if I watch it now.
No way, Jose.
No, it's PG-13.
No such thing as a scary PG-13 movie.
Okay, you're not living up here.
Yeah, right.
That movie was terrifying.
You're watching 101 Dalmatians tweaking.
Those old school Philly houses, that revolutionary war shit. I knew a guy who was in it too. Let's do it
I don't even like being an old city that one park is all it's all a graveyard unmarked graves
Yeah, it's like Washington Park or whatever it is down here. I don't like I can speed through that man
That's what we had that I'd rather go hang out on Kensington Ave
Then fucking when we had that Airbnb in Philly, there's the Roe homes,
you can just feel the ghosts in there.
That would have scared the shit out of you.
Dude, when I was living at Temple...
Same thing with signs.
If I would have saw signs too, I saw it in my 30s,
and when that alien walked across that alley...
Holy shit.
Yeah.
I'm out.
I remember I was living at Temple.
This is what like really...
You have to realize how old houses in the city are and like
the lives of people that live there for 70 years, a hundred
years, whatever it is.
But Philly, I don't know why it's worse.
Dude, my grandfather was like, I just moved to 17th and Edgley
and he was like... the steps go like that.
They're like straight up and they're all rickety.
Bannisters are all loose.
And my stepdad's like or my grandfather used to be a beat cop up there
and in like the fucking 50s, 60s and 70s. OK.
And he raised while I finished my set.
He was like, what floor are you on?
I thought you meant a poet.
He's like, oh, what? What what's your address? And I was like 17 what floor are you on? I thought you meant a poet. He's like, what?
What what's your address?
And I was like 1716 or whatever.
And he's like 1714 double homicide.
And I was like, what the fuck?
The house kinetic, we shared a firewall, dude.
You know what I mean?
And he's like, he's like, oh, man, I'll never forget.
They forget the smell out of that place.
He like shot him and threw it. They were laying in the floor like the you know, I'll never forget. They forget the smell out of that place. He like shot him and threw it.
They were laying in the floor like the you know how you open the door.
There's like the stairs up.
They were laying at the bottom of the stairs, like at the doorway.
And I'm like, not when you were there.
No, but I'm just saying there's people.
I got my buddies are living in there.
They have no idea that there was it was a murder scene.
Yeah. You know what I mean?
You think about how many people died in your building at some point.
Think anybody died in my apartment?
You have a new apartment. You have new construction.
No. Yeah. Yeah. Mine.
I mean, there's people that have died since I've been there.
Multiple people have died in my apartment.
Oh, they weren't stabbed to death.
You know what I mean? They're all old hoarders. Sure.
They're the ones you don't you don't find for a while.
Yeah. They check in them. They don't check the mail. They're kicking ones you don't find for a while. Yeah.
They're checking them.
They don't check the mail.
It starts kicking.
Someone on my floor went.
They say they moved their door home, but I don't think so.
Except for the farm.
What ever happened to Mrs. O'Connor?
I think it's some lady that looks just like her to move in there.
Yeah.
Okay.
This one's from Thomas.
Ever have a pet eat another pet?
Yeah, some fish that have gone at each other.
That's that's not a that's what are you talking about?
Two dogs?
I don't know a cat eating the fucking bird.
Okay, I'll give you that fish eating fish.
That's killer.
You might as well be betting on that.
All the land.
Do you have any buddies that bait a fish fighting fish. We had one as a kid my sister had one
But like we didn't fight them. I had a buddy who had who had him in in in two separate tanks right next to each other
We just trying to get at each other. Oh, yeah, they didn't
We didn't really know about that in the 80s. I don't think in the early 90s
It wasn't till there was a
resurgence of beta fish.
Really?
He can't have together.
That was in the 90s.
I feel he was my sister had it was in the late 90s.
Yeah.
Yeah, maybe not late 90s.
I remember my cousins having them and then one live for
like fucking 20 years.
It feels like he was in a plant to the things that they
would come in little glass jars with a plane like bowls they were
Like they would swim around the plant. That's how they would get like their oxygen and food and stuff like that. I think
Yeah, to feed them. Now you gotta feed them, but I'm just saying to how it's fed the water
You don't have to have a filter on it. They might have had two hermit crabs go at it
Maybe
Yeah, I mean that's they're gonna do that. They're fucking I mean, fish and crabs in the same cage.
They're going to they're going to fight for dominance.
Obviously, we had a hawk almost grab a smaller dog that we had.
Swooped down and I tried to take a swing at it.
Didn't get it. That's always my biggest fear.
What like a turkey vulture or something coming in swooping
down and grabbing like the dog or something. Your mom's dogs?
No, not them. Then who do the other dogs that we have in the
family? Little dogs? That's your biggest? That's your biggest fear
dogs you can't name? It's up there. I go what the dogs so
it's not your biggest fear. It's a thought you had already
mentioned the six said I'll give you that's your biggest fear. It's a thought you have. I already mentioned the six cents. I'll give you that's my biggest fear.
It's a fear. Sure.
You're also crazy. Yeah.
I got to tell you out there in the burbs, Hans is he's on hard
perimeter watch at the moment.
You got a lot going on out there, especially this time of year.
He's going toe to toe with a groundhog who lives under the shed.
They they they do not like I think you've got to get rid of that.
Yeah, he's there more than I am.
What if he scratches him?
What if the groundhog scratches Hans or bites him or something?
Killer, he's not hanging around till Hans gets there.
And also there is a fox lurking around.
Oh, little guy.
Another shifty character.
As much as how pretty they are. Fucking robbing the hen house.
Yeah, you got a fox, huh?
Along the back perimeter.
And man, he's back there.
What's behind you? Woods or street?
Oh, a little little creek type thing.
Ooh, yikes.
That's like Narnia.
So you got some action back there.
Yeah, no, he was going.
He was going ham last night.
At night? Yeah.
Which then that night
I don't like because I think it's a guy. I think it's I think it's Bruce Willis from the six sets
I was shot in Philly
So I at night I get nervous but during the day if I can see everything
But I think he's barking at spirits or something a dog barking at something you can't see
Yeah, shut it down
Yeah, you should get floodlights
For back there that go into the woods. I mean the mob
No, I'm getting floodlights. It's in a bugs come in now
So you can flip on the you can catch something real quick and get a camera and put it up top so you can see
It's like yeah, that's how you catch a what it's like Congo. I got all those lasers
It's like Congo. That's how you catch a Wookie. It's like Congo. I got all those lasers Eh, eh, alarm wakes me up in the middle of the night. That's another scary one too by the way.
It starts with the floodlights and the next thing you go you got a treeline full of claymores. Yeah exactly
I got one of those net guns
What's a net gun? Like for the for yetis or whatever?
For big foots and shit. I thought you meant like a collar that you put around. No like a net gun. Ah that'd be pretty cool
Sure, we can get our hands on one. Yeah instead of a t-shirt cannon at the big shows
We just net everyone I wouldn't mind the claymores. That would be all right sure
I think the HOA would have something to say about
Your napalm
Okay, got some action down there gang the show is brought to you by better help
Mm-hmm things are busy these days are gonna get busier the school's starting the kids running around you gotta make dinner
You got to do this you got work
It's easy to slip on the things that are important to you. Yes, right?
Mm-hmm, you know who makes it easy to get talk therapy out of the way?
Who?
Better help.
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and talk out whatever you need to talk out.
Yes.
It's a very good thing.
You can do it face to face. You can do it through messaging, however you want to do it. Yes, it's a very good thing. You can do it face to face.
You can do it through messaging,
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Talk therapy is a fantastic tool.
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Which by the way, there's some updates on the.
Loom from the Chevy Lumina front.
Oh, yeah, I got my best guy on it.
Professor Rubinoff, Professor Rubinoff.
Look into it. Look, he's looking into it.
If you don't know, if you're not on the page, you're a piece of shit.
That's an old car on the page.
Last week, we were talking about Kipippy wants to get a little bomb, little bomb
car.
I want to get the first car I ever had, which was a 95 Chevy Lumina.
And I've been poking around and all the homies said, do it.
And he's Rubenoff is now sourcing one.
We found one in Florida.
You got to get it up here though.
That'd be a fun ride.
It's a two man job.
Luke, get the GoPros.
All right. Now, see, now we're having fun with it. That's a two man job. That'd be a fun ride. It's a two man job.
Luke at the GoPros. Alright.
Now, see, now we're having fun
with it. That's a midnight run.
I can do a little pick up. Turn
the light. Turn the lights off
to night vision. The whole way
I can do a little pick up down
there. Sure. It gets get
straightened out. Open up the
market up here a little bit.
Start mule it. DA's been playing hardball. You know what you're made for on a run like that? What's that? Being in the spotter plane. Okay. Okay. You're not a hand to hand combat
if shit goes south. I'll be in the little. Someone get my keys. I can't find my, your
butt dial. Forward operator, forward observer. Yeah. Keeping an eye on things. Put me in
the chopper. Is that what makes you feel nice? Sure. Okay. Yeah. Put me in a
Kiowa update with that big ball on top that radar thing. Yeah,
that's not a dead giveaway that we're moving weight. What are
you doing, man? You're gonna get us jammed up. Let's well just
say the cocaine express Cobra helicopter flying next to a
Chevy Lumen. Nothing to see here, officer. I was thinking of more of a Cessna that's flying at an angle.
Sure. It's just flying in circles.
You get pulled over.
Full officer foley.
I was a buddy.
That's my name. I swear I don't have drugs in here.
We're family.
I wish I had I wish I was a had the nerve for that
to like be like, like, you know,
Baloo remember Baloo from Tailspin? Of course.
He had a pretty sweet gig. He was running drugs for sure.
I don't know what that is.
It was a Disney cartoon.
He was like he was like a pilot down in the Caribbean and he would get into
adventures. It was like a retooling of the Jungle Book where he became like
a drug pilot. Yeah.
Yeah, pretty much.
He'd wear a Hawaiian shirt, he flew a seaplane.
Was it the 80s?
It was the 80s.
Pretty sweet.
That guy was moving units.
We had a Spanish teacher.
And he had pirates that had propeller planes
that he was always up against.
Cartel.
Cartel.
We had a Spanish teacher who loved Colombia. Okay. This guy was a real fucking space cadet. Real snowball. Kind of snowblower you gotta
make stuff with. This guy was out there and then like he married a Colombian
woman he always went down to Colombia and everybody was just like dude this is This guy was out there and then like he married a Colombian woman
He always went down to Colombia and everybody was just like dude. This is you're not even trying to hide it at this point
Let's say it allergies all year long
Pulling the Toby this guy never had a stuffy nose
Find this as clean as always
All right, let's see. This one's from Taylor.
Is it garbage if your family's signature dish is hot dog scallopini?
Hot dog scallopini?
Toby, what's a scallopini?
It's like peppers and onion, like a Sasha's scallopini,
I believe, is like peppers and onions and stuff like that.
OK, yes.
It looks a bit not stew like it's almost like a
It's like sausage in a red in a red sauce with peppers and stuff. Yeah, you're doing hot dogs
You got a red sausage and listen, I'm not saying it's the same but sausage and hot dogs sure
I'll give it to you. It's a step down. I'm not saying it's not but it's
It's bad meat in a link form. Can I throw you a what might be give me some heat here?
Sure. A little summertime take. I think the bratwurst can kick rocks at a barbecue
Hot dog over bratwurst. Hot dog over brats all day every day
I'm not a big brat guy. They were never we were a kielbasa family. Transylvania? Who's got brats? I vote to eat brats. You're not gonna like this.
Chicago. Midwest, Chicago of course. A bit of a regional. Sure. Yeah I gotta disagree with you on that.
I don't mind the brat. I don't mind the kielbasa. Disagree with me. You started out with who's
having that. You were outraged at the very thought of it I would I Would take a brat or a kielbasa?
Sorry to say over this over an Italian sausage. That's wild. Yeah, I would Italian sausage
I would a nice brat
Those give me heartburn and the breads never really great. I
Think the buns never really great you go to like the street fairs, they're not that great.
Not at Home Depot. The ones at Rocko's out front at Home Depot.
I'd get to try it.
Really?
It's so good.
Man. Great. Great, great, great.
Because I told you a couple months ago when I bought the plants or whatever I had to get at Home Depot, I went by.
Yeah, that's one of my favorite. Apparently I got cheese sticks too.
I didn't realize it was the same exact place. Rock don't know why so good talk about a symbiotic relationship
It's like when you hear about those creatures that live on the sides of Wales. Yeah in their ears
Mutually beneficial relationship dog. Yeah
We were big kill bossy family love a kill boss and I found out why we were such a big kill bossy family because it were
Pennsylvania I know but why my family specifically was so I found out why we were such a big kielbasa family. Cause we're Pennsylvania.
I know, but why my family specifically was so heavy.
Why, why do you think it is then?
My, there's a famous one in Philly called Crev,
Cruz or Krebs or something.
It's one of the famous ones from like 1902.
Is this the pierogi place as well?
The pierogi place, yeah.
And that's what she said, she's like, I was like,
I never realized it was that, she, her family,
and she worked there for years,
so she would always bring it. so we'd have it on Easter
We got a pretty large Polish population down here in Philly for sure
Yeah, they had they just had the I think that I just saw they had like a pierogi fest or something like that
Or the Polish pierogi fest. I like which body get me involved in that. Yeah, I'm down
I want to start doing more stuff like and plus the don't get fucked up during a day and bad food
I feel like the Amish fuck with kill boss kill bossy, too
When we used to go to the Montgomery Mart, which was like this flea market
Picture like a shittier version of the Reading Terminal in Philly sure which is like an open-air Mart
They had they had some
Amish guy back there that was crushing out kill boss of sandwiches. Oh
Get them all charred and burnt.
They were fantastic. So I'm with it. For sure. I would do that over an Italian sausage.
It's great. Now, unless you're talking about the high end Italian sausages, the thin ones
that are that are in like a lasso, you know what I'm talking about? Yeah. I'm a premium.
Those are pretty good. I like a premium. You're basically just like, I'll take that unless you got something better. Yeah. I mean, yeah.
Well, I mean there's different levels to Italian sausage the premium standard fantastic, you know what I mean?
Or whatever you get at the grocery store. But then there's like, you know, the ones that are like homemade
Yeah, the homemade that you see like hanging on. Yeah, they cook it. It's in like a coil
Looks like like we have wrapped up
Extension cord and then you cut them and then you cut like every five inches or whatever.
Have you ever bought meat that was hanging at the deli?
In Germany, that's the we go to the butcher and she gets like fucking.
Then she gets shit that I don't even know.
I get nervous looking at it.
It all looks plastic to me. It looks like it's just for show.
Like there's no way that's edible.
I agree. It freaks me out.
Then they cut you a piece.
You put it on the you throw it on I agree. It freaks me out. Then they cut you a piece. Oh, yeah I don't know if you thought on the grill you got a stew going, baby
You got a sausage ago, baby thought this was made of wax
Same thing with the cheeses too. There's that one cheese
Maybe it's like smoked mozzarella where it looks like a butternut squash and they're hanging and it has like yellow on the outside
Yeah, no, thanks.
I'm a Cooper Sharp.
Give me a Vermont extra sharp habit or whatever.
Hello, body.
Seriously strong, sharp cheddar cheese.
It's, you know, strong.
Could it get hell of a good cheese spread?
Oh, we like that.
Technically not cheese.
Take that borson. Beat it. You mess with that at all.
Why? You like a borson?
A borson borson cheese.
I don't think I know it's the fancy cheese.
It's in like comes in foil borson, I think.
Oh, yeah, it's in the foil.
And then it always winds up just like a mush.
Yeah. Foil and cheese poking out of the sea.
Ever seen that?
What am I, from Norway?
No way.
Borson?
No.
Garlic and fine minced herd buddy.
Give me.
We were an easy cheese.
We were a spray cheese family.
It's a very mom dinner party type cheese.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No.
It's not bad.
It was made in Normandy.
Is it?
Yeah, it was originally.
Nice.
Soft creamy cheese available in various flavors with a flavor
and texture similar to cream cheese.
Yeah, the first I'm a Philadelphia man.
The first Borson flavor garlic and fine herbs was created
in 1957 by Francis Borsin, a cheese maker from Normandy.
By the way, I just found out that did you know Hidden Valley
Ranch created ranch dressing?
No way. Google it. The did you know Hidden Valley Ranch created ranch dressing? No way. Google it.
The guy who started Hidden Valley Ranch created ranch dressing.
That was his first dressing.
That makes sense.
Yeah.
Because he bought, there was an actual Hidden Valley Ranch in California.
Yeah.
I always wanted to live there when I was a kid when I saw the commercials.
Oh wait. What? Yeah, I always wanted to live there when I was a kid when I saw wait what I
Just connected Hidden Valley Ranch was a ranch
What are you an idiot? Yeah? I don't know if you've ever seen. Yeah, it was an actual ranch. I never
Ranch dressing and like a ranch
What did you think it meant? I never saw it dressing it was on its own. I gotta tell you I've got it Yeah, I never thought of like a hey, dude ranch. No if I think a ranch food. I think it likes
Beans on an open fire yeah and creamy dressings
They never got ranch dressing in a Western dude they're out there fucking they're taking enemy fire from the ridge
They're not they're not doing toppings on their salads.
When's the last time you saw a cowboy eat a salad?
Yeah, never.
In the commercials.
And also it doesn't look like a ranch to me. It looks like a valley. Like it looks, and
I, so I never thought it was.
That's where you put the ranch so you get the good moisture when you're growing the
vegetables.
Yeah, never.
And the herbs and spices.
I just thought of it more of like a scenic valley not an actual
Ranch if you would ask me if they were even the same words. I would have said no Wow
Pretty dumb. Hey, uh
Yeah, I was wanted to live there and wherever they did the country time lemonade commercials
Just riding down that dirt road on my bike. What if I can sip in pink lemonade turkey vulture swoops down and kitchen
Hey off my ice tea get a pterodactyl
Guys my biggest fear came to fruition they got nibbles
This is a bit of an aside, but have you ever seen you know that dude Ed bad Ed Bass master
Yeah, he's funny. He does the Philly character. Yeah, he's from Philly.
I believe from Philly or the Philly.
Oh, yeah.
He walks by that dude and tells him they just saw brontosaurus.
Dude, he gets this one guy.
He goes, there's two pterodactyls.
They're flying around.
You better get the fuck out of here.
He goes, I seen it.
I called Action News.
I went to school with Charlie.
Whatever, dude.
It's, I mean, fantastic.
He tells them there's pterodactyls.
They got two pterodactyls escape from the from the full of you, too
No shit really the guys sit next to his bike. Yeah, it's a couple of them. Yeah, it's
It's all right. Yeah, buddy. That's all right
Alright, this one's from Casey. What up bozos first time long time never have one red
Is it garbage a facetime someone who bought a pay per view sporting event so
you can watch it for free. Jesus. I mean, from that's got
to get old. Yeah, but remember for a minute you could you could
get you could catch a bootleg link on Facebook for like a
fight or something like that. I mean, that still happens on
Reddit. You go to Reddit like if there's like a I mean, I'll just
buy them now. Typically, I there's like a I mean, I'll just buy them now typically
I haven't in a while, but like I would buy like if there was an event
I wanted to see because the links they end up you know freezing up or yeah
They freeze up and but for the longest time I would just hit Pat
Yo, whatever fights on hit me with the link and he scours reddit
And but if you set the face time you'd have to set the phone up and leave it there
That's not moving around
Yeah, yeah, and also you got to hold it or then you put it and you're watching a small screen of an even smaller screen
That's cherry
Legendary internet moment of a guy live-streaming a UFC fight on twitch just holding the controller. That's not connected anything pretending like he's controlling
All right this one's from Jake we've talked about this before for
Kind of never have one read as a garbage to drink the soda before pain while shopping at the store then scan the empty bottle
At checkout hmm. That's a tough law. It's funny you mentioned that you probably do that all the time
No, but we were in a proper grocery store last night. We've been doing we've been cooking a lot last two weeks
We haven't eaten out once cooking
Got hummus
Some peppers some of those small little peppers, but I want like a cracker
But we went over to the to the to the cracker section. I tried to find like a gluten-free cracker or like
Over to the to the to the cracker section. I tried to find like a gluten-free cracker or like
Like a like a like the ones that have like the sesame seeds in it. You know they mean they're like a little more
Less carby or whatever even though they're still crackers. I
Got them like a bag of them. We checked out and I was starving and as she was bagging it I grabbed them and popped them open and had a couple. Is that bad?
At the checkout?
At the checkout.
That's fact dude.
That's bad huh?
That's addict shit.
You couldn't wait until you get to the car.
You couldn't wait 90 seconds.
I was standing there.
I wanted to try them.
I've seen other people do it.
Of various sizes and shapes.
Listen, just sit there and say I was, first of all you said you led when you were starving
and now you just wanted to try them.
Well, a little bit of both
Let me let me let me say the shoes on the other foot. Okay. What am I doing?
I work in the grocery bag in the garage. Let's say you're sitting. Let's say let's say there's a 600 pound guy
Yeah, you're that but someone bigger and he's eating he's eating the food as it's getting skinned
He's not even waiting for it to be put in the bag.
It's not like I was making a sandwich with the coal cuts.
That's real farm to table shit.
You got everything open.
You got a grill going.
Saying shit like, it'll never be fresher than it is right now.
Buddy, that's pre-sliced ham.
So that's bad news, huh?
Yeah.
Now, I want to say this.
The Foley's have never been people to eat in the grocery store
We never have you're really bucking that that trend I don't care what that general manager from the Giants says he's a liar
Denise isn't allowed back at the giant you said that you did that
I know people that walk that that'll get a bag of something and put it in the cart and they'll snack as they're shopping
I don't think that's right. I'm not sure I'm not mean, I don't do it. I you know that person is also a
Person is also you I know a guy good good head of hair on them
Joker pod kid that was the first time ever did something like that and you know what truth be told first time ever did this
I had a grape the other day Not for the first time but in the something like that. And you know what? Truth be told, first time I ever did this. I had a grape the other day.
Not for the first time, but in the store, I to see if the grapes were good.
I think the produce been real hit or miss. That's fair game, I feel.
It's OK to grab a grape.
Yes, I don't care if I can, you know, slow cook up
slow cook meatballs or something in the bag.
Going in the road to three chicken.
Chicken grease. Yeah. the rotisserie chicken
Yeah, the one thing I will do that's close to that, you know, we go out like my chip move
No, yeah, it's not close to that. It's whatever is I'll be like real
Real hungy and we're like running errands with the it's like me and the bird and we're like, oh we gotta go to you know Ray Mort know, Ray, more than flying again. Then we got to stop by and get the dog food.
Then we got to go here. We got to go there.
And we're going to end at Whole Foods.
And at this point, I'm starving.
You know what I mean?
This is the everything bagel seeds have worn off and I'm a hungry.
So we'll be going through and I'll just go.
I'll load up on the hot bar at the Whole Foods.
And then hold on.
So you haven't been to a grocery store.
You're doing regular errands.
The last errand is we'll stop at Whole Foods and get stuff for whatever.
Are you all Whole Foods, by the way? No.
The bird likes it. The bird likes.
I fucking hate it because they don't have regular name brand shit.
I know organic.
It's like, what the fuck are we doing here?
Give me a Dorito or something like it's all like they're trying to be too full.
Oh, this is no, we don't have that.
What are you doing?
I take it easy. I don't work there.
Give me fucking, I'm hungry.
Wait, you're hitting the hot bar.
Dude, a hot bar at a suburban Whole Foods?
But wait, what are you doing when you get home?
You're unloading the groceries?
No, no, no, no. Are you gonna make dinner?
You're cutting me off here.
Cut me off at the pass.
I'll eat it at Whole Foods.
Where they got a little dining section.
You'll go sit down while she's shopping.
No, we'll check out.
Yeah, push the card over to the fucking thing
and I'll eat the whole wall eat there.
OK, with the cart, with the car, homeless person. He's got my cans in there
These are good bottles you'll sit there with the cart like it's a stroller right now. I'm not rocking
My watermelon sleeping
Yeah, but I get so hungry walking around there that I'm like I got up the fat ass
That's why you should have a little cuz they say you're not supposed to go to the grocery store when you're hungry
I've never been to a grocery store
Cuz you over buy of course
I'm also not eating a checkout
chips
You two will sit down hot bar guy, big hot bar guy. You can't eat them in the city anymore because I can't get a homeless guys or got their fingers in them. Can't go near them. But the ones
in the they're not I mean, they fallen off for sure, but they're nice They're clean. There ain't nothing sadder than a hot bar right before closing
Man that meatloaf's got a tan on it
Shit we gotta wrap it up gang
Salmon with cancer
Sunscreen on you, bro. You've
been cooking all day. Gang, I'm going to tell you this. I tell you all the time. We love
you to death. Come see us. If you're watching this on a drive, we'll be over in Red Bank,
New Jersey at the Count P.C. Theater. Get your tickets for the Route 66 Tour and also
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The boys are coming home. We love you. See you next week. Peace.