Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Rob Iler!
Episode Date: October 12, 2023Are You Garbage presents actor and podcast host Rob Iler! You know Rob from Not Today Pal Show w/ Jamie-Lynn Sigler, The Sopranos, Your Moms House w/ Tom Segura, Hey Babe w/ Chris Distefano, and so mu...ch more! Thanks for watching the Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast! NEW LIVE SHOWS: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Trust & Will: https://trustandwill.com/Garbage This Show is sponsored by BetterHelp Better Help: https://www.BetterHelp.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?
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Gang that state trashy tours in high gear,
mm-hmm, fucking overtime.
Oh, baby, yeah.
Do yourself a favor, grab the squad, come out and see the boys.
Kippy and I co-headline doing a low stand-up comedy.
Then we play a little argue garbage at the crowd.
It's a fun, fun time.
Yeah, next stop our Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania,
Buffalo, New York, and then we added a third show with Toronto,
get those tickets, and we're going to Pontiac, Michigan,
fourth show added in Chicago, shout out to it.
The Minneapolis, Madison, Milwaukee, Sacramento, second show added in Chicago. Shout out to it. The Minneapolis Madison Milwaukee Sacramento
second show added there.
San Francisco, San Jose, Washington DC, date reschedule.
And then Philadelphia, Pennsylvania added a second show
with the film where get those tickets gang.
We love you.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Gobbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash.
Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley.
Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast.
This is our you garbage.
Oh yeah.
It's a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that it's a good
to be classy.
Yeah. They're just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host a trolley coming at you on a beautiful day
We're out back here at Tuddy's in the new edition. She's upstairs making a pot of her famous five alarm chilly, baby
Okay, make your mouth whistle. Make your butt hole screen. All right, okay
I'm going dirty early. I see my co-host is coming at you from right next to me son of a bitch. I have me back.
He's the CEO of RU garbage.
He's international business man.
He's my best pal in the whole wide world.
You give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan everybody.
What up gang.
Thanks for tuning in as always.
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You subscribe and I tune full video available on YouTube as you know.
Those numbers are true to real fucking cooking, baby.
Then what else did I want to say?
Patreon.com slash RU garbage game.
Check it.
The fuck out.
It's awesome.
Yes, it is.
And have a nice quick shout out to our producer, Extraordinary, the Magic Man makes us all look
good.
Works the ones and twos, threes and the fours.
He crosses the tees and he dots the eyes.
Give it up for T-bone McScruff and Toby McMillan, everybody.
What up, boys?
What up, T-bone?
Man, we got a powerhouse in here, dude.
Yeah.
I'd love to see this guy down in Texas trying to get his hands on some gobbagool. You know what I mean? We make bowling everybody. What up boys? What up T-bone. Man, we got a powerhouse in here, dude. Yeah.
I'd love to see this guy down in Texas trying to get his hands
on some gobbagool.
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
Gang along here ain't lying because we couldn't be more
excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly
special guests here with us today for the first time.
He is a very talented actor and podcaster,
and you might have seen him in, but not limited to.
You got Tadpole, Daredevil, Law and Order SVU,
the Dead Zone, Jimmy Kimmel Live. to see them in but not limited to you got tadpole daredevil lawn order SVU the dead zone Jimmy
Kimmel live late show at David Letterman the view 2010 world series of poker the Howard
Stern show entertainment tonight talking sopranos where my mom's at your mom's house
and of course he was one of the stars of 76 episodes of one of the most groundbreaking
Emmy award winning television shows of all time. And he's got a brand new podcast over there at YMH Studios with this co-host
Jamie Lynn Sigler, not today, pal.
Give it up for Robert Eiler, everybody. Let's go.
Let's go. I've never heard my full credit.
I really haven't.
I've got a lot of order in there.
Ted Paul.
To Lohanora, I got my brother calling me like, you know, once a year and he's
like, I just saw you're Lohanora.
Like, Ted Paul, man, nobody. I think I've had one person in my life bring up tab That's a great movie. Yeah, yeah, wow. I don't know. I haven't seen it. Yeah, it's good stuff man buddy
Thank you for coming in sitting down. Yeah, thanks for also. Thanks for having me. We're excited
Give us the give us the back story. Give us the origin story New York kid. I grew up in New York City my whole life
There were a lot of us in what they called a one bedroom apartment, which wasn't because there was no door
It was you know like a studio type. Yeah, it was a studio
But it kind of had like another room like a bedroom, but it was not there were there were cockroaches in the bread
You know, we had really yeah, yeah, what? So it was 83rd between first and second,
and the only reason why we lived there
is because my grandfather was the super.
Okay.
So I lived on 81st and 1st for a while.
Really?
Right near Gracie Mew's diner.
Come on, man.
Yeah, of course.
Great burgers.
Yeah, yeah, Gracie Mew's, we used to call it the Spizz.
You think you'll meet me at the Spizz,
they would let us smoke, they had the little ash trays,
and they would let us fucking smoke, not even back in the day.
Like, well, back in the day, but like not a long time ago.
Like, there would be like 7 a.m.
We'd be smoking in there because it would like, you know,
when we were under a, there were no like after hours.
Sometimes I would let us in.
And we would just go there and order like a cheeseburger
and a beer and just then like, you know, 37 more beers
and just like leave the burger on table to be fucking drink
at all night.
Dude, one underrated thing about New York diners
is they serve booze.
That's great.
And it's fucking always awesome.
You're forgetting, then you're there.
You're like, I'll do a beer.
And then like, they like, they never take them off the table.
So it's like, there's always just like 38 empty beer bottles
on the 100% of liquor.
And the craziest selection of liquor.
They got peach, nobs, and shit like that.
Yeah.
I feel like they all just bring it in from their house every day.
Like, what do you got?
I got three Sam Adams.
You know you're drinking, you got a drinking problem,
which I've done a bunch when you drink them out of a beer.
They're like, oh, we're out of Budwizers.
Does this work?
You're like, just fucking bring it in.
They're like, you want the one that's been on display
for a year and a half on the counter here?
Yeah.
We, you know, I'd love to ask your guys' opinions about this.
We busted my friends' balls for like five years
because she know when they give the mozzarella sticks and the lettuce is on the bottom. I'd love to ask your guys opinions about this. We busted my friends' balls for like five years
because she know when they give the mozzarella sticks
and the lettuce is on the bottom.
Hate it.
The worst.
So we all, you know, everybody's eating and whatever,
and he takes the fucking lettuce, rolls it up,
and then takes the marinara sauce, dips it out, and eats it.
One of the grossest moves I've ever seen to this day.
Fucking hell.
And by the way, if you're fucking 60 or 50 50 it's like one thing we were like 16 years old
Yeah, you can't be doing it. Get another or
350 man. Yeah, the menu is 17 pages stop eating marinara lettuce. That's a call. That's like
Yeah, it's like eating the parsley
I mean, it's like, really crossed my mind to even do that.
It was, he was like in his glory, just doing it
and there were eight dudes just like,
that's nice.
Holy shit.
Yeah, that ain't great.
Holy shit.
All right, Upper East Side.
Upper East Side.
You're from a dad though.
That's what we did.
Yeah, so my mom ended up eventually working for a transit
and then my dad worked at Queen Center Mall.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fucking New York kid.
How many of you were?
How many of you were?
Yeah.
So my mom and this is really New York.
So my mom and dad were like 17 or 18 when they had me.
They weren't even like, they were like barely dating.
They were, they were, they tried to make it work for a little bit.
And then my dad went off and he had four kids.
And then my mom went off and had one more,
went right when I moved out of the house at 18.
Okay.
She had one more.
Yeah, pretty wild.
Yeah.
So you had, so what that age gap is an 18 year difference between you and your youngest
sibling?
Yeah, and then the other ones are like almost the same.
There's a set of twins that are also like that same age
and then my other, but I was, yeah, I was,
I was the only one for like nine years or something.
In the studio apartment you and your parents?
Well, no, it was my grandparents place.
Oh, shit.
We lived that, yeah.
So like my fucking great grandma
who apparently had her own place
but would just like lived on the chair.
Like she just said, smoke it.
She smoked, so my grandparents smoked cools
and then she smoked Paul Maul's and never inhaled
and everybody in the family would be like,
whoa.
I know what that is.
There's a missing.
No, you know what that is?
That's a test of the emergency broadcast system
on the phone that they were doing.
Oh wow.
Hey, shit goes down.
Is that everybody's phone's going on?
Yeah.
You probably heard about the lettuce at the time.
The emergency system is functioning.
You got a dirt bag on the upper side.
I need no more slices and more slices.
So your grandparents are in the house.
Grandparent, it was their place.
And then my mom and then like my two uncles would be in an out.
Like it was crazy man.
It was like a, and the craziest part of the whole thing is
so the bathroom was the size of like a locker.
Like it was so tiny and it was just a toilet
and then the shower was in the kitchen.
I've seen that.
Get the fuck outta here.
Dude, we were, yes.
This is 30s?
Yeah, it might as well.
It was fucking, we were.
I picture that scene from Willy Wonka
with her all laying dead together.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's what, yeah. I slept in the couch in the living room with my grandma and my grandpa. It was just we were from Willy Wonka with our all-way and dead. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I slept on the couch in the living room with my grandma and my grandpa.
It was just like that.
Holy shit.
Yeah, yeah.
And it was so terrifying because at night, all you would hear was like,
and you just hear mice fucking running back and forth on the thing.
And then you'd hear one get caught on the traps.
Dude, it was breakfast.
Yeah.
Holy shit. And then you started working very young.
Yeah, so at like six years old, I was walking down the street with my dad, who you know,
my dad was like a bigger dude, like you know, at the time probably benching like 315, he
rides a Harley and like some gay drag.
Strashy to quote what your dad was benching.
Yeah.
He was doing, he to get 351 time.
He wasn't doing right.
Well, that's all I know about it.
I just hate it.
But the reason I say it is because he,
that a gay dude approached us, which in 1990s different than,
you know, 2020, 23, whatever.
And I was like, hey, your son should be an actor, you know, and my dad's like,
that sounds like a couple of bucks in my life.
Well, that's what happened.
So he gives and my dad's like, what buddy?
And he's like, no, no, I'm a manager.
I manage, you know, commercial talent and actors,
whatever, and he gives my dad a card.
And my dad's like, what's the fun?
And he brought the card back to my mom.
My mom's like, of course, like I knew it.
You know, like, he's to me. I've been saying he's a cutest baby. Yeah, that's what, what the fuck? And he brought the card back to my mom. My mom's like, yeah, of course, like I knew it. You know what?
I've been saying he's a cutest baby.
Yeah, that's what everybody in the apartment starts dancing
and singing around, you know?
I gotta go and take a baby.
Yeah.
And so they start throwing me on.
No more mice for us.
They start throwing me on auditions and like pretty quick,
I got like pizza hut was my first one
that I got IBM AT&&T and things started rolling.
National spots?
Yeah, yeah.
Woo.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So a couple of bucks started rolling in.
Yeah, a couple of bucks, but it's like,
this sounds like a douchey thing to say,
but I don't even remember the amount of money
because then eventually Sopranos hit.
Sure, sure.
You're like, oh yeah, that was like gas money.
Okay, it's a fucking, you know,
I was like, hold you.
You want a big one?
Like, what do you mean?
Thank you, get it.
But my parents were really great with that stuff.
Like, I've not, you know,
but I think they had passed that law by then
where like you couldn't take the kids money
or you could take up to like 15% or whatever.
But, so I honestly don't know.
So that money just goes into any acting money
you make goes into an account in your name.
Yeah, I don't know the rules.
It's called like the Kuggen law.
So I think the parents can take like whatever 15 or 20%
and then I think they could also take an additional
if they want to say that they're the manager.
Got you.
So what the end of that story is that guy
who was my Matt, who gave the card is still my manager today.
That's awesome.
32 years later.
Great unbelievable.
I texted him on the way here.
I'm like, yo, best buys trying to charge me 200 dollars
for something like help me out.
Because that's what he literally is like.
He's the quiz.
I didn't work for 15 years.
And he's like, yo, you keep like, you know,
you still got checks coming in like, what can I do for you?
You know, and sometimes I'll just hit him like,
yo, best buys trying to charge me 200 bucks.
I don't know what to do with this.
Hey, what's he gonna do?
What are you gonna do for you at Best Buy?
Call him up, right on the cage.
He's the best.
He's a gay Jewish guy, and he'll just tell him like,
hey, they're being fucking prejudice
if they don't cancel it.
Like, he gets anything done.
He's like a fixer.
He's a fixer.
He's on, and my, all of every actor I've ever met
is like, I can't get my manager on the phone.
Sure. And I'm like, well, it's different because I never it like you know people asked our managers for work
And this a woman so promise ended I told my manager don't call me
I'm done like I'm not I'm not doing and I fucking you know I'm jammed up at a Walmart
Until Apple cares calling you know this calls is trying to screw me
Holy shit.
Okay.
When you go into this, so when, how old were you,
when, when you got to show?
I was 12 years old.
And when you go into,
you go to public school on the Upper East Side Day.
Went to public school my whole life uprecyte, yeah.
Do you, did you go to school straight through?
The whole time you were doing the show?
No, so it's probably around like seventh grade, eighth grade.
I was becoming like a bit of a distraction.
We're like, I would show up twice a week
and kind of be, you know, just not know what was going on.
It just became like a bit of a thing.
And then eventually it'll be.
That's actually an awesome a little bit.
Oh, dude, I used to show up there.
I used to show up there.
So they used to let us, I went to Wagner on 76th and 2nd.
They used to let us out for lunch
So I would show up at lunch at like 11.30 whatever meet everybody by the fucking mailbox
We'd go out we'd hang out maybe you smoke a blunt you start drinking and it's like do I want to go back in school or not
Let's see you know can I get some people to hang with me? No, all right. Let's go back to school
And then like I just did it they would sit me down for a test and I'd be like I can't take that I don't know anything
That's on here you know that table and Tony did an opalese yeah down for a test and I'd be like, I can't take that. I don't know anything that's on here. You know what I mean?
You're at a table in Tony D. DiNapoli.
Yeah, oh, dude Tony, that I used to crush Tony.
I had my fucking-
Tony D. This is all right.
I had my 18th birthday at Tony DiNapoli.
And downstairs.
Family style.
Hell yeah.
Fucking love that place.
Yeah, yeah.
That was the first time I ever had a penny
off of Otka, I fucking blew my mind.
Really?
Which by the way, you guys should be ashamed of yourselves
for trying to make him feel bad about ordering a pizza for dinner
What the fuck?
That's the biggest scoward. What is this? Are you garbage or are you the royal family? Yes, I can order a fucking pizza for dinner
It's off putting
What? It's uncouth yeah, like all of a sudden we're gentlemen now. I don't know
We have a show about being dirt bags and it's on the fucking menu
You ordered a who hasn't had a pizza for dinner, right? Not as an entree I had to sit down and I'm a fat pig
Yeah, I wow that's I it's crazy. They're doing budge on it. It's crazy. I see it constantly
We're cutting this
Right
You haven't ordered a pizza for dinner, it's something wrong with you.
I used to order this place from Delizias
on 92nd and 2nd.
I used to order the same thing every single day.
I'd get a large pie, half pepperoni,
panne alavaca, and then I'd get either chicken franchise
or chicken Marsala, and then a salad,
extra order garlic knots, butter.
I would eat that and then I wouldn't eat
for like 36 hours.
Man, that's all right.
I love a chicken franchise, that's awesome.
Oh, the one up there is so good, man.
It's so fucking good.
And then like, because I used to be on such a crazy,
like, partying schedule once the pranos ended,
that it became like I was living on a not 24 hour clock.
Like I was living on like a 48 hour clock.
But I just do fucking coke and stay up all night
and whatever.
So I would just eat once and then consume just fucking drugs and alcohol until then
I woke up again feeling like shit. No, it's like all right time to order the money. Yeah. Yeah. Oh
Farbs in your baby. You're speaking my language. Yeah. Oh such a good time. So you stayed in school the whole time
Kind of kind of and then somewhere around like eighth grade
they were like, okay, we'll pay for a tutor for you full time.
So we're fucking now, the show's cooking.
Oh yeah, the show, yeah, there's like,
they say, we'll pay for a tutor for you the whole time,
but then like, I'd be on set and everybody else
would get 10 minutes of chill and they'd be like,
hey, come read two pages this, I was like,
get the fuck out of here, like I'm not,
and the kind of like, you know, guys like Tony Srikah
were like, get out of here, he's not reading pages.
They had my back.
Yeah, actual mob guys.
Yeah, I'm like, I'm standing outside a set smoking.
I'm like, come read this, I'm like, get the fuck out of here.
I have five minutes of smoke.
So you old dominoes and shit.
Yeah.
The old man in the sea.
Get the fuck out of here.
All right.
So you're state, were you in that apartment
that whole time too?
No, so you're state, were you in that apartment that whole time too? No, so my grandmother passed, we moved out into a studio on 90 second and second.
So my mom got approved for like an income housing spot. So we go 90 second and second.
Even though I think I don't know if that's the time she was working, but we were paying like nothing,
you know, but she still, she moved to friend and she had a roommate in a studio apartment.
It was like this fucking box.
I remember her friend just had like clothes in the corner and we're let
dude it was fucking I live in there.
Why the shows go the shows.
No, no, so that's all pre show once.
Yes, somewhere around like 10 or 11, we got a I don't know what age,
but we got to prove for a two bedroom because I'm a I was a boy.
She's a woman.
And when you have a woman who has a son you get moved up for the first
two bedroom.
Man the Irish are working the system.
Oh dude you are the most, this is the most New York shit.
Yeah we're selling our food stamps 80 cents on the dollar.
We're fucking dude we're making moves out here.
Holy shit dude.
Crush in it and so then we had a two bedroom and it was like,
it went from like living in these horrible places
to all of a sudden now I was like,
I have my own room.
Crazy.
Like this is crazy.
And then when I was,
Oh, or 38, don't have the room in New York.
Right, yeah, exactly.
So my uncle, who was a, you know, drug addict,
I don't know, you know, the whole technical thing of like,
you say, you always are a drug addict,
but you know, I clean himself up,
he's doing great now,
but he would steal shit from me.
So somewhere around 10 or 11, I told my mom,
like, I need a lock for my door.
So eventually she got me a lock for my door with a key
because he kept, like, I would come home
and be like, where are my video games?
And it would just be fucking gone.
So I got a lock for my fucking door,
and that's when, like, that's when I became,
like, a different person. I can't tell you shit, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, I'm gonna go to the key. And then I got some lock for my fucking door and that's when like it that's when I became like a different person
Can't tell you shit. You go on a door with a key
Yeah, and then I got sopranos and it was like this guy's on stop
He's got a lot to his room and he's on a fucking hit show. That was it. It changed real like two years everything changed
Yeah, you get an outside door put on your bedroom door
It's got the hammer so we could get stuck in between the two and each other steal something.
Kept this is trust and will.
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Let's go.
Holy sham, okay.
And was there any crazy purchases on your
and when the show really started,
when the checks really started coming in as a teenager?
No, and still to this day, no.
I've never owned anything.
I've never had a car.
I've never had, oh shit.
I've never had, yeah, I'm just like a New York city
rent my apartment anywhere I go.
Do you have a license?
I did, I don't think I renewed it.
I think I'd like expired or whatever.
But I think if God damn statue a liberty over here
to fucking if I had to say what my craziest purchase would be,
it would be I put myself into the world series of poker
when you read the world I was in the world series of poker
but I was playing poker like main event.
Main event and I so 10 grand to get in.
10 G hot 10 grand to get in I won over 40 in it. Yeah
So it was a fucking money. Yeah, right. It was a good. It was a good investment
But I was playing two doors. Yeah, I was playing poker at the time five days a week like I was obsessed with poker
So I was like, oh, I think this is a good investment, but besides that I probably
As a guy who's was had a foot in the poker world for a long time, your judgment gets real cloudy about investments.
Yeah, but I was I was better than everyone cuz I didn't have a fucking job. Yeah, you know what I mean?
Like it was like I was yeah, I went I went to Vegas for two weeks. I stayed for a year and a half.
Holy shit. It was just I was like, yeah, I'm fucking hang like what cuz I would go and I'd play and I'd be like
Oh my god, these guys play like once a month when their wife lets them and I'm here playing five days a week
And at the time it wasn't where like poker was figured out. So I was just like, oh these guys suck like these guys are awful
And I was just like, yeah, I'm gonna fucking say and hang but then I would drink and lose all the money in other
You know at the fucking strip club or fucking get betting sports, which is so dumb
But I would say if you had if you had the gas, what'd you drop total in that whole period of gambling?
Oh, I made money.
Really?
For sure, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, because I had,
It's got a hot hand.
I set things up in a way to not,
like I was like, okay, I can't take out more
than a thousand dollars from the ATM.
So, worst case scenario, if I go out fucking party
and my friends are in town,
this I lose a thousand dollars.
It's okay, we can make that back, we'll figure it out.
But yeah, no, I definitely, I did good.
Like, that's awesome.
Yeah.
No jet skis, nothing like that.
Nothing ever.
Like I get like renting that apartment in Vegas,
while I still had an apartment in New York
was pretty insane.
Like that was, what was that apartment like? Uh, it was awesome.
Yeah.
When did you guys, when did you like get like your own own place?
So I like the day I turned 18 I moved out into a shithole because I didn't even like the
first place I saw I was like, yeah, like I was so eager to get out and then in New York.
And then I stayed there for a year and it was probably the most disgusting apartment you've
ever seen. Like it was like my family helped me move and we put all the stuff in and we're like,
oh, I buy and then me and my friends sat on the couch, started smoking blunts at a year
when pie.
And it was just like, I know that apartment.
Dude, it was my dresser was in the living room.
This picture is from that apartment in the living room and my dressers in the living room
and the doors are fucking falling off.
I have that same set up right now.
Oh, he lives like a rat.
Yeah, yeah.
But the worst part about it was there would be eight dudes
in there at all times, like in and out, in and out,
we would smoke in and everybody starts doing fun
and then we're drinking and then all of a sudden
it just turned into a year of like non-stop.
Are you, are you foot in the bill for your,
for the, your boy's party days too?
Nothing, never, no, because most of the time, the crazy thing is once you become famous,
nobody's charging you for drinks, like, you know what I mean?
They'd be like, oh, you're coming to our place and then my friends big deal.
Let's fucking go.
And like, so the first guy, Jamie Lynn had her, her birthday,
I will became the best club in New York City.
And I went to her birthday and the owner said to me, he's like, hey man, whenever you want to come back,
I went alone.
And he's like, hey, whenever you want to come back,
like just come, like feel free, you know?
I'm like, okay.
And that's moving the dresser.
Dude, the next day I show up with like six goons,
like fucking from uptown.
And I'm like, yeah, we're here in like our North Face jackets
and we're like, yeah, we're, let's go.
Like, what's up?
And he lets us all in, like you know, Sit tight and he keeps me at the end We're here in like our North Face jackets and we're like yeah, we're fun. Let's go like what's up? And
He he lets us all in like you know sit tight and he keeps me at the end and he goes hey
Don't ever do this again, and I was like okay
He goes you come whenever you want he goes don't do he goes you bring one buddy when you come out because it was like
Yeah, it was insane like it was because we were also we were 16s probably 17 at the time or something pizza delivered back there
And shit dude it looked so now that I think about it
I get like anxiety just thinking about what I did.
But I was like, oh, the guy said we can go tonight.
Like, you know, I don't like that.
And confidence.
Yeah, and the place was like the hardest place to get in.
It was like, yeah, it was dude, it was the fun.
And we were like, yo, so then every night,
I'd bring one friend and yeah, they never truck people.
You go, come sit at our table, come sit at our table,
drugs, whatever I fucking wanted.
Like it was just like, oh,
this is where we're going every night.
And that's what I did.
Holy.
And those are the boys you talk about,
they're your boys from childhood,
like you can get along with.
So my best friend, since I was six years old,
I was just last year the best man in his wedding.
Like still, you know, that New York city.
Yeah, I just, I need friends who will tell me
when I'm being a fucking asshole
and to the fuck myself and and that kind of shit
Yeah, that's all right man. That's fucking wild at North Face Jack. It's this fucking great. Yeah
The club I already thought you're awesome you rules
It all came to a screeching hall the 28 the spoiler alert
Decade a good time. Yeah., oh yeah, man, from 12,
I started drinking in smoke when I was 12.
I went till 28 and then-
Of course, I'm in a union job.
Before that.
I'm fucking driving the A-Train.
Holy shit.
All right, any vacations when you were a kid?
Did you guys go anywhere?
No, I mean, there were times where my dad,
my dad was more of the vacation guy.
We would go on a field like,
cause so the woman he married had family in Florida.
So we'd get in the car and drive to fucking Florida.
This is crazy.
Yeah, and then we'd hang there,
but they were like,
yes, stay as long as you want and hang out.
So we would crash for like fucking a week or two.
Do you know who's the best?
She had a gallon of iced tea in the fridge.
I'm like, this lady's the queen.
Like, I'm like, this is unreal.
It was crystal light.
I remember I never tasted crystal,
and it was just a nozzle.
And I would just sit there like a fucking,
not my family probably knew I was gonna be a drug addict then.
So I was just fucking seven years old,
filling up that cup, drinking it,
filling up there like, come play in the pool.
I'm like, I'm good.
I'm like, it's time to fill up the fucking picture again, you know?
Hey, crystal light's all right. Crystal, Yeah. So I just want to understand this.
So the whole time the show was going on, you were in the two bedroom with your mom and
her and her roommate. Yeah. No. So when we moved into the two bedroom,
there were roommates like in and out and people. She moved like three of her friends and at
one time who needed fucking help or whatever, but they're eventually by the time I was
the show started 12, 13. I'd say for most of that
It was probably just me and her and then the guy who she ended up marrying. Gotcha. Yeah. All right
So things kind of quieted down the money was coming in stuff like that you guys were you guys were in a good spot
The money was coming in but we lived exactly the same like the money was just now because in the beginning the the soprano's money
Wasn't a lot it was probably like
Somewhere around 16
and started being like, okay, but still it was like,
it was like an unspoken thing
that like my money just went into account
and we lived the same.
That's wild.
Yeah, and then when I was...
There's people at old school.
When I was fucking 18, 1920, I still lived the same.
Because my dad put this thing in my head
of like never use credit cards.
It's a scam.
They're trying to get you.
So whatever I needed to have on me
at all times what I was willing to throw around.
So like I never had more than like max $500 in my pocket.
So that's like the house with four grand,
if you're like, I'm looking to spend this.
Yeah, and also to me at the time,
I had never even seen four grand, you know what I mean?
When I was like 18, so I'm like, okay, like I,
this is like I'd be like, yo, I got five bills in my pocket.
This is crazy.
And then I'd go out and I'd come home with 700 because I'd be playing fucking poker at the bar with somebody
You're like doing some shit and I wouldn't like and and never pay for drinks like I just I do it
I never pay for
Dreaming
Yeah, yeah, and that's what's so great about like party drugs
Yeah, I was
Dude I could do three car monster right here crush
Crush yeah, you's money. Yeah, so the fucking right money up
Holy shit, but the thing that's so what's great about party drugs is you never have to fucking pay like coke
I never paid fucking for coke now we'd and when I was doing percuss at percuss
I was very different because nobody's like what he's given free purse
Nobody's doing three percuss percussase parties, you know what I mean?
Like that was the thing where it was like,
I'm doing percase, I gotta do this.
That was a quieter thing.
The pills were a quiet thing.
Yeah, where Coke was like, oh yeah, the Coke's over there.
You know, me and my friends were like, oh my God,
these guys just leave fucking Coke out.
Like this is insane.
And then weed is 50, 50.
If you're a party and some people just hand you weird,
or whatever, but it wasn't the same as like Coke in New York City was like anywhere we went it was just there like free coke
Like it was crazy alcohol to alcohol not for everybody just so you know that yeah
Yeah, yeah, you two had cocaine addictions out about the same time probably with very different stories
Try it now try Try it now.
I bet you get free coke now.
Holy shit, man.
That's fucking old school.
That's too, that's so different than what I imagine.
That's crazy.
Any injuries as a kid, you break anything.
Broke my arm.
Yeah, two bones right here, and then I cracked my head open up here on my bike and
Yeah, this this was crazy
This was crazy too and then because my my mom didn't want me to have surgery So they just they had to place it and then put a cast on me like forever
So I still look how crazy this is so you know
You can go like this and you should be able to do that with the other hand my hand goes like this whoa
What the fuck yeah, yeah?
Like I should figure this is like my full range fuck? Yeah, yeah. Like I can figure it out.
This is like my full range of motion with this,
where this, like I can do this,
but this is it because they just,
they set it and then they fucking put it in a process.
How old were you when this happened?
So that I think was like right before sopranos,
maybe, maybe 10,
I know I was, it was after like eight and
Before sopranos between eight and 12 around there. What kind of bike were you rocking back then? Yeah, I'll just like a little whatever
Like a little bicec. I don't even I don't even remember what it was okay
Whatever like probably what they went to toys or us and it was like the first one
Yeah, I got right that's thirty nine ninety nine like all right. Let Yeah. What, uh, what did you start riding the subway by yourself?
Uh, subway, I don't know, but we were walking
a school alone at like fucking seven, eight.
We hop in the subway, would you, would you jump to turn style?
No, we weren't big subway guys because we always stayed up town.
Got you.
You know, like, yeah, we were always neighborhood guys.
Like you said, Yorkville was like always what we like,
we had clothing that said like York for some kid made like York like you said Yorkville was like always what we like we had clothing
That's it like York for some kid made like Yorkville clothing and we all rocked it
I'm like hey Yorkville
But it was like hey meet us at the park and the lowest we would go would be like John Jay Park one of my friends lived on
Like 60th so sometimes we go to him, but like otherwise you never go past that that's such an important thing
It's so big
But you're like your life is 12 blocks. Yeah, West Side.
Yeah, dude.
Never.
They don't crawl so far.
No.
No.
Go through the park at this time of the day.
Now that I'm fucking 38, when I come here,
I'm like, I want to go to Central Park.
I walk around like, I can't believe this was here the whole time.
No idea.
It's fucking bugged out because I'd say,
unless I was doing like little league baseball
for the couple of years I did it,
I would never step foot in Central Park. Well, it's probably a different park at the time too, right? There
was in the 90s and the early night, it wasn't great, right? No, but it wasn't. Yeah, it wasn't
one of those things where you're like, we're during the day, like, nah, you could, because
we used to hang out till fucking 2 a.m. at Carl Schultz down on 86th Street in East End.
We would be in there like with the fucking two blocks in the mayor's mansion, throwing like fucking,
everybody bring two forties and we just,
there'd be 40 of us sometimes.
And that's the same park where my mom and my dad,
when they were fucking 17, you know?
That's crazy.
Yeah, when I lived up here the first time,
I lived on the Upper East Side 81st and 1st.
I worked at 83rd and 3rd at this place called Martells
on the corner and we never left.
I didn't learn the subway and I stayed in New York for 10 years, then moved to Philly,
started doing comedy, then we moved back in 2013, then I learned the subway.
I never knew how to get anywhere because we were just up there.
What was Martells?
Martell was an Irish bar, corner 83rd and 3rd.
Oh wow, okay.
Yeah, it was all right.
It was a good time.
So my grandfather was in Brady's every single day, which is a 83rd and second or 82nd
or whatever.
And like Quinn's daughter or Ryan's daughter or something like that was up around that.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was all right.
Italian place for friends was around the corner.
Yeah, my grandfather would go there every single day from work for lunch and never go back to work.
So they would have like free sandwiches for the guys
at like 12.
Everybody would go have sandwiches
and then just you're supposed to go back to work
from like whatever one to three, four, five,
and just like nobody shit was getting fixed after that.
He was a porter on, actually he was a porter on,
maybe 83rd and 3rd.
Okay.
You know right off of 3rd, the building with the awning.
Yeah, there was the huge building across the street.
Mike, so my grandfather was the porter there
and then he was a super of our building.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he would walk down the Brady's every single day
and that's where I would go to fucking meet him.
Damn, that's wild.
Yeah, yeah.
And they would put like 40 maraschino cherries in a cup
and I would just sit at the end of the bar
and that'd be buzzing by the time I left.
Yeah.
And that kid likes his shoulder.
I remember I put in my first parlay.
I must have been like seven years old.
Yeah, and my grandfather.
So my grandfather fucking...
Oh, jacked up on olives.
Yeah, give me the jats in the Uber.
Yeah, I love damn marino at the time.
And I'm like, I want the dolphins.
I told them and he's like, all right, I'm like, you know, whatever.
I want to put 10 bucks or 20 bucks
that I got for like my birthday or some shit.
And he's like, okay, and then I lost,
and I gave him the 20 and he was like the VIG.
And I was like, what is that?
And he's like, it's an extra thing you gotta give on top
when you lose, and I was mad at him for weeks.
It was like, it was like 20 and then that extra two bucks.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, cause he put the bed in.
Yeah, he got it.
He put the bed in with the-
Coming out of his yeah yeah
push on me for the cherries holy shit dude that's crazy what was that where were you getting 40s
did you have a fake idea or would you have I assume a spot that you're like they play ball we had a
spot that played ball but then we would also make friends with like the homeless guys around there
and be like yo if you buy us all shit we'll'll buy you a full, yeah, exactly. So this guy named Sarge, who like still thought he was in the, you know,
the war or whatever. And he would always buy us shit, you know, and then he'd get to
drunk and like disappear and be like, you know, ready to go. But there's a place right
on like 87th and 1st, or was it York 87th, like right around there that would, that would
usually be all right with us. But then like, somebody would go in there drunk at like
one night and fucking steel shit from there.
And then they would wouldn't fucking be nice to us anymore.
It was like always a fucking push and pull.
Yeah, for a while, they were really good.
Those bodegos, if you got to know them,
they were good with like credit and stuff like that.
Yeah.
They run up a little bit of a tab.
Hell yeah.
Yeah.
And the next time, yeah.
Of course, yeah.
And my favorite thing, like I remember, I was dating this girl from London at one time and she came to stay
with me here. And I'm just sitting on the couch and I reach for my phone, I grab it, I pick
it up, I'm like, Hey, I'm like, what's up, buddy? And I don't even say anything else. I go,
yeah, like, you know, four packs of Marble Lights, two six packs of Corona. And then I hang
up. And she's like, what was that? And I'm like, Oh, I ordered from the deli. And she's
like, you can do that here. And I'm like, you can't.
Yeah.
So it's a very New York thing.
Dude, it was the great, I would do that.
You know, Sarge?
Yeah, I would do that shit.
And he was open 24 hours whenever you want to call.
And that was like, I lived on that spot from like 19
to whatever, 28 or whatever.
I would just call him constantly.
He was my boy.
There's one down in the East Village.
It's next to a comedy club.
And you go in, it's right on the corner,
but you know, fucking second and whatever. And it's a great bodega, but they're so mean because all of their businesses just delivery
Yeah, it's just like a warehouse for them and you're in their way. They don't want to fucking ring you up
It's not the same. They treat you like such fucking dickheads when you walk in there. Yeah
What did you call your grandparents? What were there? What were their Graham on nothing, nothing great. Yeah, it was just pop. What was your first concert?
But his nickname was Buster, sorry. Because at the bar they said he was like the biggest ballbuster.
Yeah, they called him Buster. What did you say? It was my first concert.
First concert, mom took me to Rolling Stones. No shit.
At fucking old Met Life. So it was Giant Stadium.
That was fucking Giant Stadium.
Awesome.
And I think it was,
she only did that.
I think because my dad was like,
I'm taking Robert to Van Halen at Jones Beach.
And she was like,
you're not taking him to this first fucking concert.
And she was like,
come on, you're coming with me.
And we went to fucking Rolling Stones.
And I remember being like,
oh, this is fucking sick.
Like, it was dope, man. Huh, well, this is fucking sick like it was dope man
Huh, what was still made the van and would show the next night? Yeah, yeah, play both ends against the middle
What was the last concert you went to?
That's tough man, I don't know ever since I got sober. I'm like I can't do anything
I got a group so I went to the Giants game on Monday. Nice! But where did I, yeah, this fucking thing got crushed.
But where did I, what's the last, man?
That's tough.
I don't know.
It's been a while.
I went through a phase when I was like, you know,
what I did use upon us as leverage for for sure is like
when 16 to 22, I was, or whatever, 16 to 18,
I was really into like a heavy metal, death metal,
all that stuff.
So I go see fucking Pantera, Slipknot.
I'd be fucking backstage with them,
hanging out, and that was the fucking, that was the best.
That was the only question I wanted to ask you about the show.
Did you keep the Slipknot jacket?
Did you steal that?
So the reason why I was wearing all that stuff on the show
is because I was wearing it in real life.
Okay.
So I would have a lot of stuff in real life.
And David Chase would fucking see me.
Not that he needed any help.
He's a fucking genius, but he would see me fucking with a fucking pantera shirt or whatever.
And then a couple of weeks later, my character would be wearing that.
That slip-up jacket was all right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think it was tight.
Yeah.
Have you been around slip-up after a show, they pulled the mask off and they're like,
yeah, it's exon.
It's got to be sharp.
It's got to be sharp.
They were the best.
So the first time I ever went to a slipknot show,
I don't remember how well it was 1999 maybe, so maybe.
So I'm 14 and we roll up outside and I meet Sean,
who's the clown, who was one of the drummers.
And he's like, he's like, yeah, come on, let's go in.
And we go to walk in and they're like, no, he's fucking 14.
It was at the Roxy, I think you have to be maybe 18 or 21. I don't know so they go
He's not coming in and he goes to the guy he goes, well, he's my son. So if he's not coming in we're not playing and like right away
Which he probably done you know over and over like he's like, you know, so we're not playing the guys like all right
Like opens the fucking rope and me my boy walk in he brings us backstage and there and this is like before they were
Massive so they're all sitting in one room. That's like half the size of this and this is like before they were massive. So they're all sitting in one room that's like half the size of this
and it's like fucking, was there eight of them or nine?
I can't remember nine because zero or some shit.
And they were just hanging and they would do a thing
before his show is where they would flip for punches.
So they take a quarter and you call heads or tails
and whatever it lands on, punch the other one in the face.
Jesus.
Nuts, dude, these guys were nuts.
You're saying this at 14?
Yeah, yeah, and I was like, oh my God,
this just opened up my whole,
and then I'm like, I read,
because there's road runner records
they were all on at the time,
and the people there started sending me clothes
and all this stuff,
because they found out that I was a fan,
and then it was just like, you know,
hanging out with all these guys,
I'm going to fucking dysfunctional family picnic
and announcing bands and like all this is crazy, man.
Yeah, and the whole time, I have like $6 in my pocket.
Yeah.
Really?
No credit card.
I'm like, I think about it now.
I'm like, how the fuck did I get around?
Like, it's just crazy.
What would your parents say when you were doing that?
Where did you tell them you were?
Like, I said, I had to lock on the door.
I'm fucking, I'm making money. Like, there was no, I was, and they were doing that, where did you tell them you were? Like I said, I had to lock on the door. I'm fucking, I'm making money.
Like there was no, I was, and they were city kids,
so they understood like, you know, by, by 14,
a city kid is like 25.
They were all here, you know?
I was walking to school by my own,
like I said, what, seven, eight,
so like there was no, you know,
and then,
You're taking cabs by yourself,
all that kind of stuff, just zipper around.
Yeah, but again, we, we really stayed uptown.
Like, you could almost always find me
10 blocks from my crib.
Like, I was never somebody who was like,
hey guys, let's go to a fucking Worcester Street.
Like, you know, I didn't even know downtown.
Like, I really didn't.
It was just...
That was just an uptown kid there.
Well, Worcester Street.
Yeah, I never knew any, like,
I still, I come downtown sometimes,
and I'm like, I don't know where, like, thing. Cause it it's like as soon as the numbers still like I buildings and shit down there, too
Okay, wild. What's your favorite restaurant in New York? Oh, yeah, let's talk a bit a little bit about that
It depends what we're what were to just open ended like anything or
Italian in a town for one night. You're like, I got any, you can get any.
I mean, Don Pepp's and Queens,
but it's not in the city, but it's in Queens,
but Don Pepp's and Queens Italian is fucking outstanding,
but it's also a vibe, like it's like,
okay, I show only this, but JG melons is fucking great.
I'm sick, a third-av.
Those burgers.
Those burgers, and also like.
That's like walking into a time machine.
Dude, it's the best. The little chip Those burgers. And also like. That's like walking into a time machine. Dude, it's the.
Little, fucking, the little chip french fries.
Oh my cottage fries.
Unfuckin'.
And you go like, what's so great about this?
I don't know.
But it's just.
It's not so good.
Like the burger, the everything.
It's just.
The attitude on the waitress, the fucking whole part.
Oh my god.
The wood on the bar.
And then they had, I remember bringing a girl to fucking Jackson Hole when it was on Second
Avenue and she ordered a chicken sandwich. I was like, we're done. Remember how big those burgers wear a Jackson hole
They were crazy. Yeah, massive crazy. Yeah
They were all right
But you said you're a little bit of a foodie
Yeah, yeah now I've you know ever since I got sober and then all of a sudden I started fucking watching food documentaries
And I'm like, all right. I want to stay away from this. I want to stay away from that
I'm you know fucking I want to eat organic as much as I can I cook my own food now. I'm like, fuck, I'm watching food documentaries and I'm like, all right, I wanna stay away from this. I wanna stay away from that. I'm not, you know, fucking, I wanna eat organic
as much as I can.
I cook my own food.
Now I'm like, very, you know, I start, like somebody just,
again, it's like, it's like the things that unlocked
when I was young, where I was like, what?
Like somebody was like, so when I got sober
as my 28th birthday, I took 35 Molly and I was just up
for, but I had been building up a tolerance for years,
like living in Vegas.
Jesus Christ. Yeah. And when I, when I was done up for, but I had been building up a tolerance for years, like living in Vegas. Jesus Christ.
Yeah, and when I, when I was done with that session, I remember thinking I did permanent damage to myself.
Like I was like, oh man, like I did it this time.
I bounced him back from this.
Yeah, and I was like, if I get out of this, I'm done.
Like I'm not going back.
And I was over 10 years ago and I did.
I fucking like five, six days later,
I went to a doctor, I'm like,
yo, I can't hold down any food.
Like, I'm just a mess.
Like, I don't know what's going on.
And he's like, when's the last time you had a vegetable?
And I'm like, oh, and chicken fried rice, they put shit.
You know what I mean?
Like, so I had a cup of noodles,
there's some peas and carrots.
Yeah.
I'm like, so I have that.
And the guy looked at me like I was insane.
Right. So what is it, Marin Aran?
Yeah.
Yeah.
We hate on people for eating fucking vegetables
around here, Doc.
But yes, and he's like,
he's like, go and he told me eat vegetables,
but he goes, go to this place and get a green juice.
And I'm like, come on, dude.
And he's like, you haven't kept anything down
for over five days, he goes, go and do it
and see how you feel.
And I fucking drank this juice and I came out of place
and I was like, I think I'm on ecstasy.
Like I felt like I was on ecstasy.
Like because my body had nothing in it for five days
and had nothing in it, like nothing good,
like all I ate was chicken fingers,
french fries, pizza, burgers until I was, you know, 28.
Still do that.
Yeah, I never, I was 30 before the first time
where somebody was like forced me to try fish, you know?
Like I was like, okay,
yeah, I had like tuna sandwiches growing up,
but never anything at a restaurant where it was,
and now I'm like, holy shit.
Do you do oysters and stuff like that, Nate?
No, I'll do sushi.
I'll do sushi.
But still on the oyster shit, I'm like,
nah, that's crazy.
Shrimp, crab, lobster, you like that stuff?
No, I'm still not on that.
I'm like a salmon tuna.
Okay.
Like this kind of thing, I like fucking Branzino's nice.
Ooh. You're a nice Branzino.
Yeah, yeah.
Branzis.
Let's go.
What's this is a thing we talk about.
We've talked a ton about it.
What's the biggest thing you've dropped on a dinner
at like a nice, like you've gone out?
Anything crazy?
Yeah, I mean, so I remember, actually when I was in,
well, I don't know if this is the biggest,
but like a two person dinner for sure with no drinks.
I was dating this girl and she came to meet me in Austin before I moved there when I went to go visit Jamie.
And she gets off the plane, she meets me at my place, we bang.
And then we, and we're like, we had like, we had an eight o'clock.
I had to promote Bang before dinner.
Only.
Only.
Especially, I only. Oh, only.
Especially, I only eat once a day.
So I'm always.
It was snake.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So we have an anal over earlier.
We have sex.
I shed.
Yeah.
We, uh, so we, we, we bang.
I, we go and we had, I won't use the no.
I bang.
Yeah.
We have got in there.
Because we were ravenous.
That's what I'm trying to say.
We get to the restaurant and it was like a sushi place.
First time I had it, now it's like my favorite place to go
to it was like 600 bucks.
For just the two of us, no drinks.
That's big for two people.
Two people, no drinks.
No booze, all right.
Yeah, yeah, 600, I was like damn, especially when like,
you know, we're eating things that are fucking every,
it's like one bite at a time and all of a sudden the check comes like
600 on I'm like I'd ain't bucks on me. Yeah, somebody give me three-garment. Yeah, but again like I was 52
Thousand wrote it down and we framed it. It's on the bar right there
Say it out
He's stood it over to I'm asking for a race when I get back to Austin, Tom.
Just so you know.
It was a birthday.
It was a large table.
He said, who's birthday?
It was him.
I think it was him.
I think it was maybe it was a big birthday for him.
Some vinyl.
Yeah.
He's like, yeah, they run it out.
I think it was like a 30 person.
It was like a big thing.
They run it out the whole restaurant.
Yeah, I mean, 52.
So maybe it was just him, there's things.
I don't know.
It's 52 G's, that's why.
It almost came off.
I did.
It's a riddle.
Yeah, I did one time in LA go to a dinner for,
I mean, now this sounds like nothing.
I went to a this special dinner that was like,
I don't know how many people it was,
but it was like a $30,000 dinner where like every course theyinch. We're like every course they came out with and they described,
oh, this is then they like custom made.
So they asked the two people who were throwing the dinner
like what they want.
And then they cut like, she said her favorite meal
was a fish filet from McDonald's.
So they made like this insane,
and they're like the, in the Tartar sauce is 50 grams of bubble, bubble caviar and they're like telling you all the shit and they're like the in the in the tartar sauce is 50 grams of bubble-buck have you are
And they're like telling you all the shit and I'm like like I'm just sliding that over to my boy
I'm like, I don't want that shit, but yeah, it was it was really it was real one
It was really fucking it was nice and it was it was fancy. It was cool. Yeah, okay
Damn
All right to some more more garbage cues here.
Yeah.
You flossin' every day?
No. I have the sticks, so it helps a lot.
Okay.
But if it was string, I would never floss.
But with the sticks, I get in there.
When there's something in there, I get in there.
That's how I go about.
If I'm eating fuckin' cashews, I'm goin' with the stick.
I'm goin' with the stick.
What about the toothpaste?
What are you using? You're trying to stay organic on all that stuff?
Yeah, I try and now I try and get everything from Whole Foods. I try and go real. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Tom
So I have two I have the Tom's with the aluminum
No, the what's the stuff that's in there? Not fucking tart. What's for?
I got one with fluoride and one without because there? Not fucking tired. What's fluoride? Fluoride.
I got one with fluoride and one without,
because I think when you do all know
without fluoride, your bread starts to stink.
So I got the fluoride that I use during,
in the morning, and then I got the no fluoride I use at night.
Okay.
Unless I'm dating at the time that I go with the fluoride.
Are you getting the Whole Foods delivered?
Are you going in food shopping at Whole Foods?
Uh, I, so I didn't discover like Whole Foods delivery.
I don't know if it was a COVID or right before,
or I was a holy shit, but I don't like it.
I love to fucking stroll.
You're going in and out there.
You're going in and out there.
I love to read fucking and greedy.
I like to know what's going on.
Yeah, unless, and there's sometimes
where like you have to do an order, but normally,
I love being in a fucking whole foods are nice
Did you say you don't drive no?
Over a lot I'm a big walk guy like I'll walk five six miles
Just to go so yeah because I just I love walk. I'm a New York City like I love walking man
But I've never heard anybody say you'll never do Texas with no car. You're over to Whole Foods
Yeah, no, I walked order Whole Foods. Yeah.
No, I walked to Whole Foods.
I'm within walking distance.
Oh, all right.
I walk back.
Yeah, I usually walk back unless it's like a big shop
then I'll Uber back.
Huh.
I've never heard anybody use an Uber to move groceries.
Yeah, and they will say, like, I've taken Uber to Whole Foods before if I'm like coming
from somewhere and they're like, you want me to wait for you?
So they do it.
They won't deal, yeah. And I'm like, like no, I'm gonna be in here for three hours
I got a lot of reading
You make your bed in the morning
And you know I never did and I think it was like Jordan Peterson was on Rogan
He's like he's like hey scumbag. He's like if you want you know
He's like if you want to be out there fucking talking shit about people all the time, which I do
He's like you at least need to fucking clean your own room, you know, make your bed do this. So I started
doing that. And I'm one of those people where like, OCD, where like I did it once and
now it's been four years, I've never done.
Now you do it. And what's the house like down there? You got a nice set up?
Uh, no, I got a one bedroom with nothing in it. So like my buddy said, um, my place looks
like one of Jason Bourne's fake apartments.
Sure. You got gonna go back.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I have the bag I came here with.
I got a fucking.
That is, dude, that is like an old school spy bag.
You're never knowing you got to go.
I got the fucking, I got the TVs.
I got the bed.
I got the couch.
There's nothing else in my apartment.
Multiple TVs.
I got one in the bedroom.
One living room. Yeah, yeah. What's the bed? Is it a king size?
No queen okay. Yeah, man can't get a read on this guy
What do you keep your butter at the house keep it in the fridge keep it on the counter?
I have one in each how about that that's
Because I like the cold for the pan when I'm cooking
and I like the spreadable when I want to spread.
Nice.
Salt it on the outside.
I do all my own salt.
I don't want their salt.
I do my own salt.
Yeah, I do unsalted butter and then I add my own salt.
Dude, I'm a lunatic when it comes to food now.
Do you like to see salt on the top?
Is that how you do it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So whatever I put the butter on, then I hit it with the,
I got the grinder sea salt.
Yeah.
We got the power grinder.
You got the regular crank.
So I got the power grinder
and it didn't work for the sea salt,
but it works for the pepper.
So I power grind the pepper, hand grind the salt.
Damn, yeah.
I got answers for whatever,
whatever question you fucking got.
You got the mortar and pestle?
Like the,
is that what it's called? Yeah, mortar and pestle. More like, is that what it's called? The mortar and pestle.
Yeah, mortar and pestle.
It's like the rock bowl.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
For a, with crashing a bowl.
Yeah, like for how they make what's the avocado?
So guacamole.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What is that called mortar?
A mortar and pestle.
Wow, mortar and pestle.
It looks like a bad law firm.
We'll lose for you.
This is big on the show.
When you go to the deli counter,
do you get your meat sliced thin?
And also, what's the level of recognition
from deli guys you receive?
It totally depends where I am.
It totally, and also like when I was in New York
on my delis, they don't have a fuck
as I go in there every day.
But I remember the first time I went to Italy,
you know, fucking Italy, and I got online
to get like fucking sliced meats or whatever.
And there's somebody in line, I get in line behind,
and I'm like, oh, I'm like waiting a long time
because they're like going on and on,
and somebody comes from outside of the back
and they see me, and they run to grab like a piece of paper,
and I'm like, oh, you know, I'm like,
guys coming to get an autograph,
all right, yeah, it's an you know, I'm like, guys coming to get an autograph, all right,
it's an Italian place, I get it all up.
And he comes running from behind the thing
and with a paper and he hands it to me
and it's like a piece of pursuit,
like to give me pursuit because I felt bad
that I was waiting in line.
So now I've never been so sad to get a piece of pursuit.
I'm like, I'm such a tool, like I-
I put your sunglasses on.
Yeah, like I'm such a tool, like,
don't this guy was like rushing to get an autograph
But he was just like oh he felt bad cuz I was waiting that the guy had like stacks of fight
He was doing like a wine and cheese night in front of me. I'm either guy from slipknot
Holy shit you ever have a lunchable
Yeah, yeah back in the day. Okay for sure. Yeah, discuss it now. I would never never touch it. No, no, no
You got would you guys eat lunchables now?
No, never, no, you got would you guys eat lunchables now?
No, never what's crazy maybe
For you I was never a big lunchable guy
What kind of what foods do you have at the house like what do you keep on hand? So I just it's it's depressing no hold on no couch
Yeah, yeah, I said yeah, I got the couch got the couch bed, it's like the two TVs here, couch here, bed here, that's it. There's nothing else in my room.
No, no, no, so it's on opposite ends of the wall.
So the two TVs are on that wall,
and I see where it's the, yeah, yeah.
There is literally, oh, the only other thing I have in there,
I finally got a fucking roomba.
Awesome.
Man, I can't freaking.
Quit bragging, will you?
Yeah, sorry.
Saying that like it's a three.
That's just a big perch.
Saying that like it's 2003. Yeah, I
was it for you
Okay, so what what kind of food do you have in it like we came over right now?
I'm like hey, I'm hungry. What do you got? It's literally like salmon from a specific origin like you know
I'm like really high because I
Not I don't like to feel like shit ever since I've crossed over into like not abuse it like up until like 28 to fuck
Cuz then it took me a couple years to get off the pills, but like a 28 I stopped the drinkin and
Then like all of a sudden remember like waking up me and like oh, I feel good when I wake up
And like I had never felt that since I was I don't 10, even maybe even before because I was always eating such garbage.
Like, horrible. Never had any sort of like, hey, maybe eat some protein.
Like, you know, it was just, I was eating so bad growing up.
And around 30, I started realizing like, oh my God, if I eat good, I feel good.
And then, and then like, you know, now it's, and also it's like, I have nothing else to do.
But be healthy.
Like, you know, I didn't work for fucking years
I don't have a fam like like I don't have a wife of kids
So it's like oh this is all I got to do and you know the rare occasion where I eat like shit
The next day I'm like what is fucking wrong with you like I just feel terrible
What's a typical order at Whole Foods? What are you dropping?
Come on. Yeah, oh least. Yeah, I go.
But now, because I do the walk, what I've started doing
is I order chicken and fish from one of these.
You order it and it shows up at your door.
Uh-huh.
Kind of place.
So I fill the fucking freezer with that.
And then my fridge is just always the same shit.
It's like fucking lemon juice, lime juice, lettuce, like mustard, like, you know, I don't have...
You like a trader Joe's, you a trader Joe's man?
No, I heard bad, I heard conspiracies about
trader Joe's that got in my head.
I was like, no.
Oh dude, I'm not trying to come to food, I'm great.
And that's probably the hardest part about dating.
So when I'm dating somebody, like, I've talked to girls
where I go, like, I'm like, oh, this is going good. And then all of a sudden, like, she's like, yeah, I just get McDonald's every day on the way home. I'm like somebody like I've I've talked to girls where I go like I'm like oh this is going good
And then all of a sudden like she's like yeah, I just get McDonald's every day on the way home. I'm like we're done
Really like last time you had fast food
Years oh my god really yeah like over five years
Crazy I haven't had anything fried in years like no French fry no and I'm dude
I'm so when you go out to dinner now, it's super limited.
No, because again, once you start eating fish,
it changes everything.
Like before I ate fish, I'm like,
you can't eat anywhere, and be healthy.
Now I'm like, oh my God, I could just eat
fucking fish.
So usually, because I only eat once a day,
I'm like a multiple entree kind of guy,
where I'll be like, all right,
I'll get the fucking salmon and the brezzino
and the fucking this or, you know,
real efficient lunch.
Dude, I put back like my one meal.
I mean, you know, the first season of surprise,
I was like 200 pounds.
I was a fucking big, I was a real big kid.
I love to eat, man.
So that's why I eat once a day,
because like, there's no diet for me that's sustainable,
because I don't feel pleased. Gotcha. So I just I eat once a day, because like, there's no diet for me that's sustainable, because I don't feel pleased.
Gotcha.
So I just eat that once a day,
I eat a fucking ton of food.
And like when I go to Jamie's house every Sunday in Austin,
and I'll eat, and then with her family,
and then her family has dessert,
then they start doing like their after dinner activities,
and they give the kids a bath, this they come out,
I'm still eating.
Like I'll eat for a minimum two hours.
Can she throw down in the kitchen?
Is she good cook?
She's a good cook.
Yeah, she's a good cook.
When you eat at the restaurants, are you telling them,
let me get the salmon, just give me a broiled,
no sauce or nothing like that.
I try not to be a pain, but also like I-
So you'll get the dish, whatever it is.
Yeah, but I also will vet spots.
You know what I mean?
If I see they're doing something insane, I'm like alright. I'm not fucking I'm not gonna do that
You're not doing like the barblanc sauce over the no
Like no, no, no if I like I went to have steak the other night and it was just fucking salt pepper
That's all I want and they're like we'll put the sauce
I don't want any fucking sauce just fucking give me a good steak salt pepper. I'm good man
I could I could eat rice, protein, salad, just for fucking every meal.
But then after is when I like treat myself,
I start I have like fucking,
oh I have like weird shit after I eat,
like I'll have fucking oatmeal.
And I have these things called like honey mamas
and just like all this kind of like chocolatey stuff
that's made with like honey,
and fucking maple syrup. And like that that whole foods has all that shit.
And also I just fucking go crazy.
What about the barbecue in Austin?
Love, yeah, I'll hit those spots, but in my head I go,
these guys get the meat from a good farm or whatever.
But like, yeah, like, you know, a couple times a year,
I'll crush and really fucking enjoy it.
And then, so the place I, the sushi place
that I spent all the money that I go all the time now
to get the fucking my favorite spot,
they opened up a restaurant with the best barbecue chef
and to get Asian smokehouse, oh my God.
Nuts, when you go, next time you guys go to Austin,
if you go to Loro, it's called Loro, it's fucking.
We went there and we went there.
You didn't like it?
No, do we not like it? We didn't stay
That's the place where you walk in you order at the bar. Yeah, yeah, and it's like
Yeah, I dipped inside and outside you didn't like the down. It was crazy hot. We were down there a couple weeks ago
Yeah, it was like 117 degrees
Yeah, we yeah, we got a table. We thought it was gonna be more
Korean barbecue. We wanted to like sit down and have, uh, and then the dude came over as I go to the bar.
I was like, we're at it.
Oh, you missed out.
It was also packed.
The food is fucking awesome.
But I thought you were talking about the, the, the couple, the, the chefs that have the,
they're like a Michelin star chef.
They had a sushi place, but they also opened up that burger place.
They went there with Bobby Lee.
Um, it's a up that burger place that we went to with Bobby Lee.
It's a really good burger place.
It's like back of a mall.
Nordak or something like that.
It's back in some club.
She has a famous pasta.
She has a famous pasta place.
So we fucked up not going to that place.
Yeah, yeah.
That place is really everything to do because it's like it's like barbecue mixed with Asian,
which is fucking awesome.
Like it's just everything.
You're like, holy shit.
This is fucking great. You know how to use you're like, holy shit, this is fucking great.
Do you know how to use chopsticks?
I learned, once I started eating sushi,
I'm still not good, I'm not confident, but I can get by.
But I still, I get fatigued about 10 minutes into the meal.
I'm not, I'm not,
I'm not, I'm not, I'm not good.
Yeah, and that's why, what's cool is when you go to these
really upscale
sushi places you're supposed to eat with your hands. Yeah, so I'm like I'm I'm culturally appropriate. That's what I tell you know, so I'm not using the fucking sticks.
I'm not using the sticks. Do you own any binoculars?
No, but I think my my friends mom got me them as a cup of birthday gift or something. So there might be a pair
or something weird. So we're present from your buddies. I know. I do it. It happened. You know, I love her. She's the best. Yeah, you know, she's a saint. That's awesome. Are you
currently in a beef with a neighbor?
No, no, very when I was 18 and I had that place I had the ultimate beef with a neighbor.
I'm sure they loved you. Yeah, it was bad. The guy would throw beer bottles from his place upstairs.
He was a nut too. It wasn't like he was some saint and then was crazy is when so he I moved out when I was 19.
The person who owned the building called me when I was like 22 was like hey if you want to move back in here
He died and I'm like okay like I was just so moved on at that point.
I'm like, what?
But okay.
And then I found out from her son that the guy had no family,
no friends left.
And he wrote on his wall, I leave everything too.
And it was the, it was the woman at the massage place
around the block, the Asian massage place.
And he left everything to that late.
He wrote it on the wall.
Damn.
Yeah.
Yeah, what a way to go. Yeah, and you throw fucking beer bottles constantly at us
I mean you were probably raging down there. It was bad. Yeah, you was a just fucking blasted all night
I just did not yeah
Double bass alone they got nine drummers. Yeah. Yeah, I was surprised the guy didn't kill us
Ever swim in a river
Yeah, I'm sure I mean mean, I don't even...
You go to Barton Springs down there?
Take it there.
I haven't been yet, but I want to go.
There we go.
Oh, it's all right.
Yeah.
You're trying to make a point to go every time we're there.
Oh, wow.
It feels good.
The best city attraction anywhere in America.
Yeah, it's awesome.
Yeah, it's the coolest stand alone.
It's no other place has something like that.
It's cool, it's close.
Yeah, it's tight.
I've walked by, but I never went in.
I should go in.
Yeah, it's all right, man.
Okay.
Yeah, it's good.
Nice and cool, the water.
And what do you recommend they're going for, like,
making a day out of it?
You pop it in there.
No, I just go for a dip.
Hour, yeah.
Yeah, just go.
Take a swim, jump off the diving board.
And there's a place to, like, put a towel and lay down
when you dry all this shit.
Yeah, take a little hill.
Okay.
Yeah, it's all right.
It's a good time.
You do cold plunges, is there?
I'm telling you something.
I'm I'm
I almost broke the diving board there. I sure I got it's fucking like almost touched the world. It's still
Do you enjoy any of these smells asphalt gas horses?
Or magic marker horses. I don't even remember, but gas horses, or magic marker.
Horses, I don't even remember, but gas is the best.
Yeah.
Love gas.
That's kind of like the red line indeed.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, big gas guy.
But on the other end of that, I love laundry.
You like the smell of laundry.
Oh my God, but not the candle like the fake shit.
I want like, we're walking by a laundry man.
I'm like, oh my gosh.
Yeah, that's a pass.
What it's blowing out that warm feeling. We just called that last night. There was the we walked by the
hotel and the garage door was open. They were doing the laundry and it was such a
joy or nice. But the fucking it just hit you away. The fluffin' fold in New York, the way
that's what whatever they use. It's probably the worst thing for you. But that smells so good.
It's whatever they were putting in those envelope sent into people after 9-11. Yeah. Are you doing your laundry now?
Are you sending it out?
What are you doing?
Yeah, so again, one of my OCD things is like,
I get a little crazy about the germs,
because I used to just hand, so long story short,
I got an STD, they might early 20s,
and ever since then, it's just changed who I am.
Okay.
I just, I'm like, I don't wanna get fucked in.
Because I, so I got an STD,
and I, I called a doctor thinking like,
cause like, I didn't know at the time
of anything so many STDs,
I'm like, I just have AIDS and I'm dying.
Like, that's what you think.
You go there, yeah.
Right, and I'm like, oh my God,
so I called a doctor and he's like,
okay, yeah, you could come in like next Wednesday.
So it was like,
I ain't got that kind of time.
I'm just sitting there like,
just dripping, so I'm thinking like, I'm dying.
I'm right now my wall who I'm leaving like,
I'm like, this is it for me, like, I'm a there like just dripping, so I think I'm dying. I'm right now my wall who I'm leaving my shit to,
I'm like this is it for me, I'm a goner.
And then I get there and they do this fucking...
Leave it all to Sarge.
Yeah, and he's like, well, he's a curious thing.
What I could see what you have is bubble-blown.
He's like 50% of people have that.
Like it happens all the time.
Everyone in college has it.
He's like, I give you this shot in the ass.
He's like, but then, and this is where it's fucking.
This is what stuck with me.
He goes, I gotta stick this Q-tip.
Oh yeah.
In there, get some stuff, send that off,
and I'll find out if it's anything more serious.
So now it's another fucking two weeks.
I'm seeing it at home, and after getting a Q-tip
stuck in the head of my, it was just so bad,
and now it's one of those other things where I was like,
if I get through this, like I'm, yeah.
It's great enough. Yeah, like I'm I'm not fucking you know being so now with with my laundry
yeah I don't trust it to because I used to just yeah whatever like I there was a guy in the building
I grew up and you fucking your socks there was a guy in the building I grew up with named Vinnie who
would shit in the washer he was shit in the washing machine and it it never, you know, as a kid, I'm like,
oh yeah, whatever, like, you know, they fucking shut one down,
use the other ones or whatever.
And that's a kid, I'm like, whatever, now I'm like,
I can't, so I've been in New York for a couple of weeks
and I hit up my friends and he'll come use your fucking things.
I can't get that.
I go to a public.
I do understand that.
I don't hate that.
I have, I have a very similar with germs and stuff like that,
but I have with them with the drop off and pick up,
I have a kind of out of sight out of mine thing.
I'm like, it's better than the ones in my building. I don't have one in my units.
I'm like, just fucking, if I can't see it, I'm assuming they're using the cleanest machine and we're gonna move forward.
And you live in the city now?
Yeah.
Yeah.
In the laundry. What the fuck?
Yeah, or they were great dude. Am I fucking building growing up? There are some wild dudes.
Wild dudes.
Using the organic stuff in the laundry?
Yeah, I love it. Yeah, yeah.
Seven generation, what are you using?
Uh, our uh, seven generation, but so I'll use like the Whole Foods brand or whatever.
Whatever they got, that's like a fucking yellow tag, you know, on sale or whatever.
I'm not, I'm not big about what it is. I'm just like, I want to know that there's not like poison
in sure. Hopefully, you know, um, you ever bought the floor model of a TV or an appliance?
I know I bought the floor model of something
when they were like, you could have this one,
it was whatever, but I can't remember what it was.
I don't think it was a TV.
No, so I never bought a nice TV
until I moved to Austin because,
and guess what, it's fucking lost on me.
I don't get it.
All my TVs before that were like $300.
You are.
I'm kind of the same way.
Yeah, and then so like, when I moved to Austin,
I was like, you know what?
I'm gonna do the nice thing, and it was like a $5,000 TV
on sale for $2,500, and the guys like,
oh, do this and I'm like, all right, I'm gonna do it.
And I look at it and I go, I am garbage,
because I'm like, I don't know the difference between this.
You bring it with us?
Yeah, I go, I don't know the difference between this
and every other TV.
I'm the same way, yeah.
I don't get it.
The value of spending an extra $3,000 to the $500 TV.
Yeah, and also, it's like, what am I watching?
I'm not fucking, you know what I mean?
Like, I watch, I watch junk.
Like, I watch fucking reality TV and shit.
What do I need to like, pixels?
You watch reality TV a lot?
Yeah, yeah, I want the big 90-day fiance.
Yeah, me, dude.
Oh my God.
Are you watching the ones that are on right now on a
little max?
Thanks, man.
I know it's like he's like, I have my own sea salt pepper
grind.
I love people.
People to parole.
Um, what one's on now?
Not on each.
I don't know.
I watch it on my way.
It's on demand.
So there's, uh, they've gotten crazy because now there's
like shows within shows.
There's the watch along. There's women on their second or third. It's definitely many
You know the one that's on now is one of them is with the guy with the hat who won't take it off
And he's with the smoke and hot Spanish chick and you're like what the hell are these two doing together?
I want to watch it now. I think there's a deaf couple
Okay, and then the guy like the 18 year old that moves to Thailand or something.
It has to ride on the back of a yak.
It's a awesome.
That's the best.
And so she, so he would wear the hat and he's like,
Jasmine thinks that you know that guy?
And he talks about Jasmine all the time.
And she's like, I want you to put me
in the nicest place here.
Those two, I could watch them.
It's fast.
It's a human experiment.
It's so fascinating.
I could watch them. If they were on livestream 24, 7, I wouldn't be here right now. I would
never leave my place. They're the most interesting couple I've ever, they go from mortal enemies
at three o'clock to four o'clock. He's proposing for the fifth time. It's, it's crazy. It's
real. It's proper unhinged people. Love and you know what I like about it. It makes me
feel the comfort of the insanity I grew up with without actually having to be like I have control of it
I could turn it on I could turn it off
I can see that's some there he goes again. That's so smart. Yeah
I can stop my life. Yeah, it's like you motherfucker fuck you a piece of shit
I can be like that you close at you close it and lock in your bedroom door.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, there you go.
Thank you, mom.
What are you sleeping in?
So I have the is again, you're right.
This is I have these shorts.
They're like jeans or $5,000 pajamas.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
Am I taking my sneakers on or what?
I sleep in these, what is it called?
Bamboo shorts, but they're alone in like 20 bucks
or whatever on Amazon.
I have like 30 pair and they're the gift.
They're the breathable.
Amazing, they're the gift I give to everyone
when it's like a time to give a gift
and I give it to them and they're always
like they're the only thing I sleep in.
And it's one that I don't know if you know.
You wonder where I don't know them or just the shorts.
Just the shorts. And so's one that I don't know if you know. You're underwear, I don't know them, or just the shorts.
And so you know, right now.
Yeah.
They're amazing.
So you know the Pajitski effect,
which is Christina P.
She has things called the Pajitski effect
where it's like her and Tom used the same phone charger
for like eight years,
even when they were like doing very well.
And that one day, we were going through the same thing.
Right, and then one day they're like,
oh, we can buy three phone chargers.
It's like you don't realize the things you've held so,
you're like, oh, a phone charger.
And then you're like, okay, well, they're now nine bucks.
We can afford a thousand phone chargers.
So with those shorts, I'm like, I used to be like,
oh, man, my shorts are in the laundry this.
And then one day on fucking Amazon,
I saw like the counter thing where you can buy it.
And I'm like, you could drag this all the way to 30. And now I just have 30 fucking parathom
and there's never not a clean one.
It's a life changer.
Sleep with your socks on.
Get the fuck out of here.
Do I sleep with my socks on?
Are you fucking looosleaves with your socks on in here, anybody?
No.
That's insane.
I'd literally, it's the same thing to me
as sleeping in like a fucking North Face Jack.
Yeah, no.
Sleep with a socks on his own.
Lunatic.
That's the first time you've challenged,
and you guess is challenge the whole room.
Who in here does that?
I'm trying to hold you.
Oh, yeah.
Do you have a go-to karaoke song?
You know, again, with fucking Tom and Christina,
I never, I was a no karaoke guy,
and then at Christina P's birthday, they had karaoke.
And, you know, I felt like a loser for not doing it,
because it was like people were doing it,
and it was also like, they had like little room,
so it wasn't like everybody.
So, um...
What'd you do?
I did, uh, Bon Jovi.
I did. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Slipknot, wait and believe me.
Yeah.
It's a panic! It's a panic! I mean. I did? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Slipknot, wait and believe me. Yeah.
It's a panic, it's a panic.
It's a panic.
Really, everybody ready?
Happy birthday, Christina, this one's for you.
Open the pit up.
Yeah.
I respected it.
And then after that, I did, um, forgot about Dre.
I did Eminem's part and my friends did, uh, yeah, my boy, Cassum, did, uh, the, uh,
Dre part.
I think, see, I think it it happens easy because it was just like
talking. I didn't have to, you know,
I mean, you don't got to be on
it. And I knew that, I knew I knew
M&M's fucking part down.
Well, you dance at a wedding.
Uh, it depends.
If it hits me, when I was drinking,
I would dance.
I was. Yeah. Yeah.
Uh, now it has to really hit me,
you know, like a I a Jamie's wedding
She had the right kind of like they had she had a band and they were doing like kind of 90s music and this and it you know
And she wanted people like I would be outside like fucking you know
I forget if I was smoking slow time but like trying to smoke or whatever and they had people coming to be like Jamie wants
Everyone inside
So like you know sometimes it hits me and then there's other times where it's like, get the fuck out of here.
Like, I'm not dancing to this shit.
You drink a coffee and a coffee?
I do zero caffeine.
Zero caffeine.
Zero caffeine of any kind.
I drink, so again, I used to do fuckin'
molly co-cadamine for day straight and I was fine.
If I drink one coffee,
fine.
It's, and Dr. Drew is actually talking to me about this
but he's like, people have different ways of digesting it.
We're like some people that's gone in 45 minutes
and other people that's like days.
And that's what happens with me.
Like I drink fucking, you know, coffee and I'm buzzing.
Okay.
I mean, um, yeah.
It's gonna go either way.
You get cash back when you make a purchase
where you get money.
I never have.
I don't even know.
Do you have any credit cards?
I try and get out of there as fast as possible.
Yeah.
Do you have any credit cards now?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eventually, I got one.
Okay.
I only have one.
One credit card.
One credit card.
MX visa, what are you using?
You don't know.
You don't know. That's crazy. Listen, cuz of my fucking manager. It's never not worked
I just got it in my pocket and we're ready to buy something I just
Visa no, no, it's a master card. All right. Yeah, bad not a master card. Who's cutting the hair?
Also wait no wallet just lose cards in his pocket no wallet ever no no wall
How much I lose the wallet I lose everything if I lose one card I lose one card
The what was the question before what do you say hair cut hair? So the one before this one I did and then and then the
This gets fucking trash.
I don't know what you're gonna do.
You're on the hair?
Yeah.
Yeah, I just, I have, you know, I used to have a thing where I'd
grow up in my hair for like, if you see on sopranos,
I have long hair and then it's short and then long.
So I would just grow up in my hair
because I hated going to get a haircut
and I was partying so much.
And then one day I would just shave it into the toilet.
Now I just fucking shave my head and then it was,
he's in jail.
Yeah.
Yeah, I hated. Cutting your hair in an apartment with no furniture your trash
Yeah
I was like I was on the land when I cut my hair
But yeah, it was just getting like a little too long or it would be in my fucking face
And I'm like, I don't need this and I just fucking combed it down and I just fucking chop chop chop here
I didn't do I didn't do the sides of the back, but I just got the front out of the way who cut the last one
You go to a place? I went to like a legit place. Yeah, yeah, before I, here. I didn't do, I didn't do the sides of the back, but I just got the front out of the way. Who cut the last one, did you go to a place?
I went to like a legit place.
Yeah, yeah, before I came here,
before I came to New York, I was like,
all right, I wanna,
because you know what it was?
I hadn't done my hair in like a year,
and my goddaughter, or my, sorry,
my niece was getting baptized.
So I'm like, I'm gonna have to fucking do my hair
for the first time.
I'm like, what does that even look like right now because it had been since my friends wedding over a year ago and
So it doesn't know this hair to year. Yeah, I'm just a hat guy
I'm just a big hat guy or like this like I just got out of the shower and I was like yeah, it looks pretty good
That he lives on his own terms man. I tell you I respect the shit out of it. It's fucking awesome
That's what happens when you get the kid a lot for his door
So he makes his own fucking that's it the shit out of it. It's fucking awesome. That's what happens when you get the kid a lot for his door. Yeah
He makes his own fucking Yeah, maybe I'll do my hair. Maybe I'll do my hair. Yeah, the own any suits you have suits at the house
Here you this is gonna fucking blow your mind. I got a custom tux for my friends wedding
I got with my fucking name in the jacket. I got a custom
There's only like 600 bucks. There's one of these places over here. But yeah, I got it. I got it custom on. Lesson the sushi.
You want a thux?
There's some sushi.
I got a, yeah, so I had a custom.
And then I have like one or two,
but you want to hear trash.
So that time when I.
We've heard it already.
Yeah, just so we know.
Uh, I, when I went to that Vegas
for the fucking two weeks and I stayed for a year and a half,
I came back and shortly after coming back was one of my friend's weddings.
So I'm like, okay, no problem.
I'll see you there.
I put the tux on and I hadn't put that tux on it.
I don't know, three, four years and it was huge.
I'm walking and there's no belt loop in a tux.
I'm walking around, and I put the tux on 30 minutes before the wedding.
Like, you're like, oh my god, I'm walking around his wedding for three hours,
holding my fucking pants up and then
Don't dance at that night and one of the fucking groomsman finally goes hey
We have suspenders on under the do you want this I put the suspenders on it was like the greatest
I say yeah
I from the depression
Holy shit ladies and gentlemen the podcast is not today pal a YMH studios mr. Robert Isle buddy. Yeah, thank fucking
Fantastic thank you for having absolutely fucking fantastic anything you want the folks are to know you want to eat them with
No, yeah, when you guys are in Austin come by
I'm gonna love it come hang you know
What a power all over the you know anywhere you find your stuff whatever they say
Tom is the business guy. he's been in fucking 52,000
I'm just here to fucking have a good time, you know, no tell me told you that
It was 52 hundred
Kibbie, what do you got for guys were all over the road like we said added shows in Philly
That's more than halfway sold out get those tickets. That's gonna go for sure
Get those texts four show out in Chicago get those those fucking tickets. Third show out in Toronto.
Get those fucking tickets. Everything else is almost sold out. We fucking love you.
Is thank you so much. Robert, we love you, buddy. Thank you for coming.
Thank you for having us. Great. It's fun.
Gang, we love you too. And we'll see you next week.
Peace.