Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Robert Kelly: Diner Trash

Episode Date: May 4, 2020

Comedian and podcaster Robert Kelly joins us to talk trashy food at the diner, trashy vacations, and trashy muscle cars. Its a hot one!  You know Robert Kelly from Stand up comedy YKWD podcast, Comedy Central, Netflix, & Tonight Show. Rate. Review. Subscribe. Email questions: [e-mail]

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is Are You Garbage, the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are trashy or classy. I'm your host H Foley coming at you from beautiful Astoria Queens where the bodies are stacking high here during the pandemic, getting a little dicey on the streets.

My co-host, hot tailed out of town at the first sign of trouble. He's coming at you from an undisclosed location somewhere in southern New Jersey. Our good pal, Kippy, Kevin, James, Ryan, everybody. Oh baby, down here in the Irish Riviera, also known as North Wildwood, New Jersey, laying low, playing it right, eating at Sam's Pizzeria. Yeah man, happy to be here. Thanks for tuning in everybody. We appreciate all the support.

We appreciate all the rating reviewing. Please subscribe on iTunes, subscribe on YouTube. You can watch the full video. Thanks so much as we get this bad boy off the ground. Very nice and we have a very, very, very, very, very special guest today. We're so happy that he came to join us on the podcast. I'm going to read this laundry list of credits. Now I was going to skip over them, do a couple, but I said, fuck it.

I'm going to take my time and I want everybody to know. So here we go. I'm going to go all the way back to fucking 2007. Jimmy Kimmel Live, Comedy Central Presents, Dane Cook's Tourgasm. We got Gotham Comedy Live. We have Robert Kelly live at the Village Underground. And then we got Cop Show, Inside Amy Schumer, Be A Man, What's Your Fucking Deal, The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, Two Drink Minimum, Week at the Comedy Cellar, and Gary Gohmans,

The Depress. All right. Then we switch over to the acting credits, Kippy, and we go back 30 fucking six. Started out in 1996 with a short called Enough Already. Then you got Law and Order. You got Hack. You got Good Luck Chuck, Grand Theft Auto, Law and Order, Criminal Intent, The Regular Fucking Law and Order, Caribbean Enthusiasm, Inside Amy Schumer, Sirens, Nurse Jackie,

Louie, Marin, Trainwreck, Benders, 20 Episodes on Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll, Crashing, Lust for Life, and the Truth About Santa Clause. Ladies and gentlemen, he is also the owner and operator of Riot Cast Network, and he is the host of YKWD. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Robert Kelly. You forgot Calter and Kelly. I'm on a new podcast, six nights a week, seven o'clock on patreon.com. That's Robert Kelly.

Calter and Kelly. Oh, that's great. I'm sweating after that. Look at me. I'm sweating. I know, dude. I'm getting a little nervous. Why?

Why so? Well, you shouldn't sweat after you read. I took my baby aspirin. Relax. I'm good. You've been banking on that baby aspirin for three years. I don't think it's going to hold up. Bobby, you take a baby aspirin every day.

I don't. What? I don't. I'm offended that you assume. You've got a dead man walking here. You kidding me? You're six years older than me. You're not taking baby aspirin.

Listen, you're inside of actually a place that probably is regulated heat. I'm in a hot shed, and I'm not sweating. You look like you're either you're nervous or you're dying right now. I don't know what's happening. You're sweating. It's warm. I mean, are you in fucking South Africa? Where are you?

I'm in Queens. I'm in Astoria, Queens, and I got the window shut and the heat's on for some reason. I got the steam heat. It looks like you just got out of the shower and it didn't stick. You never let you didn't fully ever dry off and then it just it rolled over into sweating, which is a former big guy. That's bad news. I hate that too.

When you put when you put cream on like my wife would put cream on after you're a fat guy and then it's you start to sweat and it just forms a layer of just yes, just film. Yeah. Yeah. Baby Aspen every day. What's your regimen? Let's start here. I don't take anything.

You don't. You don't take fish oil. No. Bobby's fucking old school. I love it. It's just taking a steak and eggs in the morning and a stick for lunch if you catch my drift. When's the last time you had a stress test? I had one a year ago after Colin Quinn had a heart attack and I'm fucking great.

Wow. And they don't recommend fish oil, baby aspirin, nothing like that for you. No, no, they fucking said you got to lose weight. That's it. You just lost 30, 35 pounds. 35 pounds. Congratulations. Yeah.

Great buddy. You see it in your face for sure. Thanks buddy. Yeah. And I like the little I like the little the crooked cop thing you got going on there. And I'm not sweating. Yeah. That's that's a big telltale sign of a stretch.

Stop. Stop trying to play this angle. Like I'm having a fucking having a stroke over here. Well, I mean, you're fucking scared dude as a big guy to a big guy where we're doing a zoom video chat and it's like you're you're on fucking that Ninja Warrior show. This is your stress test and you're not you're not doing well. I mean, what the fuck does you look like you're doing this outside in June? It's just hot in here.

Plus the light's not great. I don't know my ring light. See, but I like what I like. Bobby goes like, nah, they didn't tell me to do anything. They tell me to lose weight and that's what I'm doing. Fully, fully fucking took the governor off the car and he's like, ah, fish oil will stop it. Dude, you're going down the wrong fucking way.

I tell you what, I look at that baby as when it's like my golden parachute anytime. I feel a little bit bad. I just pop one of those. I'm good. Yeah, I think I don't think that I think you're fucking up. Yes. Thank you. Thank you, Bobby.

I think you're fucking up by the perspiration test. Yeah, that's not a mustache. That's just sweat. Actually, you're you look like you're so you look like one of Paltrow's legs. That's how shiny you are right now. Yeah. Your face should not be a dramatically different color than your neck. It's got a bad case of redness.

That only happens. That only happens when you die. I think it's just the camera. It's just it's just it's just the way it's it's just the camera. It's not the 500 pounds that he's carrying around. Bobby, he's the camera. He is the diabetes filter on. Is that the new stroke filter you got going there?

Holy shit, man, we can do this like a half hour. I mean, yeah, you need to go fucking soaking the tub. Go have a diet code. Do something. Take the edge off. Why you fucking make it? Let me just grab my defibrillator real quick, just in case fucking shit goes south. Well, it's so funny because I didn't you're looking at rise background.

I didn't know you lived with the Golden Girls. Blanche is a nice lady. This is very, this is very down the shore. So I'm in the I'm at the Jersey Shore and it's very this is I mean, it's all lighthouses, it's all I'm looking at the sign says teach a man to fish. We'll spend the summer on a boat. You know what I mean? That's that's that's where we reclaim wood.

They made that mirror out of a ship that fucking yeah, capsized off shore. Exactly. Lady went down. I'll make a mirror out of this. There's a lot of light. There's a lighthouse theme for sure going on. I like I like follow your set. Are you are you dying?

Get a go get a towel. What are you talking about? Holy foley. You look worse every time I look at Bobby and then go back to you. You're worse because he has a nice ring light. I'm using like an old shitty life. Look, buddy, I have a lamp light for my kids room. I swear to God.

Hang on. Here we go. Look, is that better? I mean, you might want to do that. That's a little better. Yeah. Is that a fucking light from the 20s to Tesla make that light? Is that why you're so fun?

That's like a movie light Howard Hughes used. It's an oil lamp. If you must know, it's an oil lamp. Yeah, you know, they make these little LED lights right here. I got one coming. I got one coming from Amazon. OK, great. Because that maybe that's what was making you.

I mean, your forearms are wet. That's disgusting. Yeah, you're sweating, dude. You're raining over there, buddy. You can see your shirt sticking to you. Hang on. Yeah, yeah, get a fan or something. Yeah, you have one of those.

Japanese fans at the gay comic shows. Just to make it boys just to make a punchline dramatic. Who you didn't like that? Well, like this, I'm doing that when we get back to comedy, for sure. Let's screw it around here. All right, let's go. Buster, so Bobby, we're going to ask you a series of questions to find out if you're garbage.

Have some inclination that you are. And I just wanted to say. I just wanted to say I know you grew up. In a certain situation, so we're going to stay away from that. And let me tell you all sincerity, if you haven't checked out Robert Kelly's WTF with Mark Marin, do yourself a favor and fucking check that episode out. If you want to talk about a guy who overcame adversity

to become successful, that's the fucking story you want to hear. So I just want to focus on from like, you know, when you were coming up as a comic in New York and more so your current situation now with the family. Right. All right. Yeah. Just to find out.

I should get a drink. Can I get a drink real quick? Because this sounds like, I mean, between your sweating and this dramatic fucking. It's so lighthearted. It's like the the generic cereal, that kind of shit. He sets it up like you're going to go to Congress. I'll be show me where he touched you.

Show me right now where he touched you. All right, Kip, you want to start it off? You want me to start it off? You can start it off, pal. Very nice. Look at him. Look, he's making fun of me. Look at this. Oh, my God.

He does got the college boy right behind him. No, that's fucking garbage, man. You're OK. All right. The college boy. The college boy in arms reaches a nice touch. That is nice. Yeah, that's garbage, though.

What is that? What is that? Purple soda. Yeah, that's a no sparkling water. I don't have sugar anymore. You fucking tub of shit. I thought you went I saw a love handle reach it for that refrigerator.

Well, listen, I'm not. I'm still a fat mess. I'm trying to help, dude. I care about you. I don't care about fucking used to be fat face. I care about you. You know what I mean? I mean, I you're you're the reason I lost the weight.

You had the guy on talking about no sugar, no grains on your podcast that next morning. I woke up fucking and kicked it into gear. No sugar, no grains. Yeah, that's I'm back on that kind of. Yeah, but no, no bullshit. So what's up? Let's do this. Let's get it going.

Let's fucking do this. All right, let's start off. You're up there around the Westchester area. What's the name of the what's the name of the grocery store that you go to? Um, well, I don't go to it. My wife does. Old school.

A couple of them broads in the kitchen. Am I right, Bobby? A couple of well done steaks and some canned potatoes. I like it. I'm kidding. I I I know I'm not kidding. She I know I would never go to the store. No, I it's called the Chico's.

Oh, is it like a chain or is it a single own? It's a very small chain. Oh, that's nice. They keep it. He said he answered it very defensively, which leads me to believe it's garbage. No. Well, I'll tell you, the Chico's is a little higher end.

OK, it's above stop and shop. Now, I have nothing against stop and shop. Sure. The middle of the road. But the Chico's, you know, the chicken salad will not be beat by anybody. Where? Whatever that little whatever that little Mexican lady does

to that chicken salad. I mean, it's the perfect amount of mayonnaise. She shreds that chicken like it's a fucking burrito and Rosarita, Mexico. It's it's great. So yeah, I love you pick up items like that at the grocery store. Do you give if you don't go, you give specific instructions, I assume, of what you want brought back to that house.

I do now that since December, because I don't have sugar. I don't have grains. I don't have dairy or legumes. So yes, now she knows my shit. So she just gets my stuff. Yeah. All right. Let's step back.

Where do you do lunch meat? Would you do lunch meat from like a day? Would you go to the shop right? Or do you go to now before the diet? Let's assume for the diet. There's a masquerade you're putting on now. All right, let's keep that out of it. Yeah, let's get to the heart of it.

Yes, let's. It looks like he's drinking a grape soda right now. Is every question is going to be, well, actually, now I have fresh squeezed mango juice and a spoon around. You're among friends here. All right. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Oh, make me call the manager at the Chico's and get him on the line and start fucking blowing you out of the water.

I don't I don't I don't she gets me stuff and makes it. I have eggs every day, you know, with some type of leftover or something. I eat the leftovers, too. That's my thing. He's thinking with the leftovers. And I recently don't even eat breakfast. I wait as long as I can. Like I'll eat breakfast at one o'clock.

And let me ask you this. At what frequency does your family pre diet? And what frequency does your family have breakfast for dinner? Oh, that was on my list, too, you motherfucker. When was the last time you had breakfast for dinner last week? We had last week. But last week. But yeah, no, I as the first time we had it in probably a long time, years.

Pandemic rules that you can bend a little bit. The first time it was it was definitely pandemic like let's let's have but I have nothing against breakfast for dinner. No, but I'm being honest like a senator. If I'm being honest, if I'm being honest, we had it last week. But that was the first time in a long time. I think she's the first time she's ever cooked it. Like my wife doesn't fuck around.

She cooks meals like she loves to. She's old school. She's like her mom and her grandmother. She gets she goes down. She'll get a fucking lamb. She'll we have dinner every night at five thirty. We sit at the table. Furniture is from the fifties.

Our glassware is from the fucking fifties. You know, there's a record playing. It's it's really. Yeah, that's pretty classy. Yeah, we we have dinner, dinner, you know, every night. Yeah, breakfast for dinner. Three things, three things. It's a meat.

It's like a potato or in a vegetable. It's old school, very old school. Yeah. What do you what does she play while you guys are eating? It's not like genuine or anything like that. Is it? Well, my pony. We have Frank Sinatra.

There you go. We have Elvis Presley. OK. We have a little Foo Fighters. We have a White Stripes album we put on what's about. And I my personal album, Kelly Clarkson Christmas album. You'll play that now. You'll play that in April, May.

I'll play that. I'll play the fourth of July. God, you were so close. I know, even the even the Foo Fighters. But still, that's a very classy setup. No, if you're if you're playing Christmas music for dinner on a Tuesday in July, you're fucking trash. I'm sorry.

There's no way around it. Also, I respect that breakfast for dinner is a dad thing. Dude, I didn't know what breakfast for dinner was until my parents got divorced. I went over my dad's for the first time and he like rolled out the scramby eggs. And I was like, I can get used to this. I don't know why I don't know why everybody else is crying.

I got French toast at 6 p.m. Let's go. You know, you just reminded me, too, before the pandemic, me and my son, I would take him twice a month. We'd go to the diner, the fountain diner. We sit at the bar and they all know him. We sit at the bar and we do have breakfast.

He'll get pancakes. I usually get a steak or the prime rib because it's pretty good at that diner. And the waitress, waitress come over, they love him. Every time he answers, I think, I'm like, oh, never mind. He's classy. And then he goes, I sit down, I get the prime rib at the counter at the diner.

Listen to me. I'm telling you right now. There's no defending that, Bobby. That's trash. Prime rib at this fucking place is off the chart. I'm telling you, dude, the fountain diner, you don't know. It's old school diner, dude. Couple of mashed little gravy.

Let's do it. I'm very fucking old. I like the 50s. I like when people, when you went to a diner and there was somebody back there who, like your grandmother, cooking the fucking food. Yeah, it's not like some shit fucking pancake house or some shit diner in Manhattan, wherever.

You know, it's fucking gabbage. I'm talking, this place has been there. It looks like a little cottage. You know what I mean? And the food, the shit changes every day. It's not the same fucking menu. The soup is different every day. And it's every, I've never gotten a bad meal at this place.

And like the ladies of the work, they come over and they know Max and they talk to him and he hangs out and we read the paper. We go through the thing, we play cards. It's a very old school. That's awesome actually. Sound like two wise guys sitting at the camera. I know, right?

I remember. You wake up the feds that are sleeping out front. I do remember back in the day when I lived up here the first time before I did comedy that New York diners used to be so much fucking better. They used to be awesome. A small little place. When I was a kid in Boston,

they used to have the Paul Revere diner down the street. And they had the donut shop next door. It was a real, like they had the little stools and you sat at the thing and you had a little, a cup of coffee, but the cup was like four inches thick. Yeah. And you could kill somebody with it. And you know, they made that,

you could see the guy making the donuts, some fat guy with an apron and he always smelled like dough even. You know what I mean? Even when he was wasn't there. You doing over there, good to see you, huh? Exactly. Yeah.

There you go. Good stuff. Kip, you go ahead. Has anyone in your family ever owned a Camaro? That's a fucking yes. I bet you he has. That's not a yes. I've not, no one in my family has ever owned a Camaro.

All right, hold on. A Z28. No one in my family has ever owned a Z28. How about a car with teatops? Trans Am. I'm gonna tell you, I did own a car with teatops. It was a 280 ZX. There we go.

Mazda. A Mazda, it's the high end Mazda back in the day. And it had teatops. I know what you're talking about. It was like a little racing car, you know, like a sports car. That's what it was, yeah. So I went that route.

Now, believe me, I would love to have gone, I'm not gonna be lie to you. I would have loved to have gotten a muscle car, like a Camaro. I just, I don't have the ability to fucking drive something like that because I'll smash into it. I had a motorcycle for a year

and I fucking went down twice. I was like, I can't do this. I don't have, I'm fucking too stupid to ride this thing. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's dangerous. Especially in New York, a motorcycle. You gotta be that guy. You gotta be the person that can really focus

and do the right thing. I put headphones on. I'm driving, I forget I'm on a motorcycle. I just turned the wheel, like what? He's got his Kelly Clarkson on on the fucking Queensborough Bridge taking a header. So yeah, no, I've never owned a Camaro or of any car like that.

Okay, okay, sorry. Do you change your own oil? Huh. I do not. But, but I do know how to. Fair enough. Yeah, that's fair enough. You should.

I learned how to and I'm not, cause I have a snow blower and I had to learn how, you know, now granted I paid somebody to do a lot of my stuff, but I know how to do it. You know what I mean? Yes, I know how to do that. As a snow blower is classy. My dad is a snow blower and he treats it

like it's one of his fucking kids, man. He fucking loves that thing. Let me tell you something. When you're outside in a fucking two footer last year and you're looking at the lady across the street with a fucking wood shovel and you're just running. Running and gunning, baby. Yeah, that was me as a kid though.

I had to shovel and my neighbor had one and I was like fucking snow. Fucking brutal. You rich piece of shit. Yeah. Throwing my back out as a nine year old. My uncle actually, for a housewarming gift, gave it to me. Damn, that's a good housewarming gift.

That's a good gift. His friend was selling it that lived up here. He dropped it off. Fucking great. Well, he used the ones a bit trashy, I feel. He couldn't spring to the new one. It was, it was. I mean, it's not like.

He stole that. He stole that off of some landscaper's fucking truck. It's got a half a tank of gas in it too, Bobby. He had a key. No, it was, it was brand new. There's blood on it. There's blood on it. There's blood on it.

There's blood on it. There's blood on it. There's blood on it. There's blood on it. The funny you say that is that again, I don't, I shouldn't operate these things. The first day I got it, we had a massive snowstorm. I go down my, I'm fucking loving it.

Right down the middle of the snow's going where it's done. I go right over to my neighbor, DeLore. She's, you know, 70 something. And I'm going up the thing and her daughter comes up, Bobby, don't, don't, don't, don't. I'm like, what? She's like, no, we, we pay Gaetano to come and do it. He's already been paid.

So don't please, he let him, he's got a plow. I was like, okay. She goes, if you could just get her paper, it's down somewhere, just find it. And she just wants her paper. That's all. I go, absolutely. So I go down with my snowblower.

All of a sudden, I found her fucking paper. All right. I, I showed up. It was fucking shredded. Like fucking FBI documents. I'm sitting there. I go, here's your paper. The lady goes, put that in your act.

She shut the door in my face. Oh, fucking. All right. Is there a, do you currently own in your shed, a garage and the back of some, is there any broken lawn care equipment? A weed wrapper that doesn't turn over a push mower that's old, nothing?

No, I have, I pay a guy to do it. Yeah. All right. I, I pay an, he's around 80 year old Italian guy though. Of course. Literally wobbles when he, I think he's got one leg. And I tell him, you know, I told him last thing. I said, get all the poison ivy.

Cause we're having a party. Get all the points. Okay, okay. And he comes back. He's got all the poison ivy. Like he just picks it up with his hands. Yeah. And I come up and he, I walk up and he puts his hand out.

I shake his hand. I go, what hand did you grab the poison ivy with? He was like, this one. I had poison ivy for fucking three weeks after that. Yeah. And he took my lilac book. My lilac tree last week, which I'm very upset about. He cut it down.

I used to do it all the time when I was a landscaper. People would freak the fuck out. I just fucking mulch over a bunch of flowers that I shouldn't get screamed at by the owner. Yeah. I'm so mad. There's grass out front that you know, it's you're supposed to let it grow.

We planted it. This cocksucker fucking trimmed it like a marine head. I took out my little baby lilac bush. He took out four or two years ago right in the front. I put, forget it. I don't want to get fucking angry. Cause I can't fire him cause he's 79 and he's Italian. And I got, you know, I don't want to, you know what I mean?

Yeah. You don't want the mob up there looking for you, huh? No, I just feel, I like the guy. You know what I mean? I don't want to fucking throw him on his ass. Do you, do you currently own or have you ever owned direct TV or satellite television? I would never, unless I was in the woods

and that was the only option. Would I ever get a fucking satellite stuff? If I see a satellite on somebody's roof. What are we doing? That's garbage. That's fucking garbage. I want to rip it off and let it hang off the roof in front of their window just to let them see it.

I know what a piece of shit they are. I remember in the 80s and 90s, dudes had like the huge, remember they had the huge satellites? Like what though? They were like three-footers. Yeah, I know. And if something would happen and you'd have to turn it, like you'd have to hit a button

and it was supposed to be a fucking bastard. That was also like, every time you went there, cause like one out of, you know, 200 people had it. So you'd go over your buddy's house and he'd hand you this fucking remote that looks like it came from fucking Star Wars. I'm like, how the fuck am I supposed to turn on MTV? Let's go.

No local channels. You couldn't get the game or find out what the fucking weather is going to be like tomorrow. Yeah, but nobody knows how to use the fucking thing either. It's like, get the little, you gotta buy it. Or we'll buy it. I don't know how. We'll call them.

Oh, fuck me. Go fuck yourself. I know. Yeah, you'd rather watch something on my phone. My phone has, anyways. I don't like- What do you have up there? You guys got a full package cable?

It's only satellite. We can only get satellite. You got a deal. We decided a five-year agreement for $29.99. He's all paid up. I have a time, what is it? Time Warner? Yeah, Spectrum.

Verizon. Verizon, I got Verizon. That's new money stuff right there. Verizon. New money. This guy's rocking phios up there. Look at this fucking money bags over here. We're doing around 800 up and around 900 down right now

on the internet. I don't know what that means. What the fuck does that mean? That means most people are running like 50 up, 50 down. How do you know this? Upload speeds, download speeds. You just go to fast.com and it'll tell you what you're running on your shit or speedtest.com.

Yeah, this is a gigabyte. I got the gigabyte internet up there. You get the 5G? 5G. He only knows one buzzword and he tries to throw it into conversation. So just ignore him, Bobby. That's what they say cause the Corona was 5G.

Yeah, him and Bill Gates. Had Bill Gates. Okay, have you or anyone in your family ever skied in jeans? Listen. Yes, that's a yes. That ain't a no. I know that much.

It is not a yes. A pair of warm-up pants or something? Sledding also counts too. So I'm trying to back out that way. Sledding? Fuck it, come on, dude. I just sled all the time. I got a six-year-old.

What do you want me to do? Yeah, what are we talking in my life? What are we doing in my life? Your whole life. Have you ever walked onto a ski lift in Dungaree? I've only skied five times. Okay. One time, I know I had a...

I was with my girlfriend at the time, bugged me. We wanna go skiing. I was like, I fucking hate skiing. Finally got me on there and we bought all the outfits. So I know that. Okay. I remember I skied, because I remember I skied down.

I got to the bottom of the mountain. I was like, this is so fucking awesome. I'm glad you talked me into it. And she was standing like this. She goes, we have to go. I'm like, what are you talking about? She shit her pants. She got food poisoning and she shit in her fucking ski.

In her ski. Jesus Christ. She had like a whole thing on it. So she had a, it was like a fucking Dutch oven. Oh, God damn large cheeseburgers. Who are you dating, Roseanne? What the fuck? She was actually, I was the worst.

We rented a cabin. I had to... Did you stop dating her after that? I would presume? She had G string underwear. So she was just shitting in. It was splitting out two ways. And I had to, I had to clean these underwear.

It was like a splitter. It was like a cable splitter. She only bought like two pairs of, three pairs of underwear. And she shit through all three of them. She tried to clean them in the tub. Dude, that's insane. That's wife shit.

I would have fucking left the hotel. I just got married. I don't know if I would do that for my wife. Yeah, I would have said I got a wife and kid back in Staten Island and rolled out. Hit the brick, sweetheart. Yeah, I can't do this anymore. Yeah, I didn't marry her.

She, I let her go. You're like, no, that's my wife actually. That is Dawn. Now I did, I did go skiing when I was in, when I got out of juvie and rehab, I, they put you in a- It's always a way to start a story. They put you in special-

It was three weeks ago. When I went back to high school, they put you in, you didn't just go back in, you had to go to like Mr. Lion's class. And it was me, it was this tall girl, looked like Big Burt from the projects. They had a slutty chick with big tits, ski bunny from California type girl,

two Korean girls. And they took a skiing for some, Mr. Lion's was like, we're going on a field trip. And we went skiing. And I remember, I think I had jeans on then. And cause I, I wasn't a skier. I was in high school as a field trip. Yeah, the jeans, the jeans are a dead giveaway

that you're not a skier, Bobby. So, yeah, I just remember that the two Korean girls would just giggle in the whole way down. Me and the ski bunny were going down. And then the tall girl, she looked like really tall, like Big Burt from the projects. She didn't know what she was doing. She just pointed her ski straight down.

And she was too close to the side. So she was doing 90, just whacking trees the whole time. And we would just yell in pizza, pizza. And then she just wiped out and slid down the mountain on her face. And we all had to leave. I remember that. Jesus Christ.

I would say yes. I would have, I would have. That's a tough look. That's go, that's a blemish in the file right there, jeans. I fucking hate, I hate skiing though. I hate skiing too. And people are skiing. I don't mind a bowling because it's inside.

There's other shit to do. But skiing is an elitist. It's a cross between elite and white trash. It is, it is, it is. And they were, yeah, they were in these flamboyant fucking outfits. You know, it's, it's, ugh. Yeah.

You know, just these fucking, these dads with their sons. Just a generation of. No bitterness there. No, not at all. Look at this brick, what his fucking dad who loves him fucking piece of shit. I took my kid, snow tubing this year, last year.

All right. Two years ago. No, I broke my ribs. It's fucking. That's right. I forgot about that. Picked up a lot of velocity going down that hill. Well, they should weigh people

before they get on a fucking, a mountain on a latex tube. Sounds like you got a lawsuit going. You should have weighed me. Oh buddy. I could have sued the fuck out of him. I mean, I'm talking. Dude.

There's just a red balloon that stops you at the end. I went past these mats. I went in the air. The balloon was, I popped it. Yeah. It was fucking. I was going into the highway. Let's put it down.

I found Bobby two towns over. Yeah. Got stuck in an easy pass. The next day though, the fucking motherfucker, I tweeted it, I Instagrammed it and I tagged a minute that I fucking broke my ribs. And he came to the room with fresh baked bear claws, bagels, chocolate and regular milks

and a bag of donuts and a bag of muffins. This, I mean, the box was this big. And he gave it to me and he gave me free everything. Passes and dinner. And he knew, I mean, I fucking, as soon as I had the donut and the bear, I was like, that's all right. Yeah.

Their lawyers saw you coming from a mile away. They were sitting, they were sitting at a big, a big old table and they were like, have you seen the size of them? Send them some sugary treats. All for him, two chocolate crawlers and keep it at that. Yeah. See if he makes a move.

Yeah, I did. I didn't. That's good. Fat somebody got. Have you ever worn a fake turtleneck? A mock turtleneck. Yeah. Under a sweater or it's not, it's just a little thing.

I, my mother got me one for Christmas one year and I despised them so much. The words allude me. Garbage, absolute garbage. It's like, just go and get the turtleneck. You fucking, you look like Mary Tyler Moore, you fucking idiot. Fucking mock turtleneck.

I hate the word mock too. Yeah. Mock turtleneck. What does that mean? It means not a. Not a turtleneck, yeah. Yeah. Well, just call it, be creative,

come up with an a douche neck. Yeah. Yeah. Who got you that? Your mom or your mother-in-law? My mom. Your mom, okay. One time I was in a, sorry, go Bobby.

I don't have a mother-in-law. I have, I've had stepfathers, but no. Oh, I did have a mother-in-law, she's dead. Your mom's dead, your wife's mom. Yes, my wife's mom is dead. Yes, she's dead. Unfortunately, she was a pisser. She was a real turtleneck.

She was a pisser. When she was dying, no, she really was. I mean, I loved that, that, that. Is your wife from Boston as well? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And her, when she was dying and she was like, look it, I'm not going to hospice, I'm not quitting smoking, I'm not eating,

I'm eating whatever the fuck I want. So she would just sit at the kitchen table most of the day in the negligee, you know, just sit there and she'd smoke. And I remember she was eating lamb or cake and she would fall asleep. So she would light the table on fire, so they just put tin foil on half of the cake.

So it wouldn't hatch. So when she fell asleep, it just fall on the tin foil. I mean, that's old school, you thought. Yeah, that's old school shit for sure. That is old school shit. Folly, is it you up? I can go. Have you ever gone on vacation to Colonial Williamsburg?

Dude, are you fucking kidding? I had, that was the next fucking question I was asking. Jesus. Robert Kelly, have you ever taken your family to Colonial Williamsburg? If you have, you are garbage. I don't know what the fuck. Please don't tell me if I'm garbage

before I answer the question. Because I don't want, I don't want any, I want to be garbage if I'm garbage. You understand? I don't know where Colonial, where is Williamsburg? What is that? Virginia, it's like what people in the Northeast think is like, you know, Miami.

It's fucking real trashy. Colonial, is that where they have the strip of hotels on the beach? No? No, no, no. South Beach, Miami. No, is that Merlin? No.

Oh, I might be in Ocean City, Ocean City, Maryland, Ocean City, Maryland, maybe. Yeah, that's trash. That is trash. It was a place there called Secrets. It's like a pool. Dude, yes. It's like a bar and nightclub in the water.

Like you stand in waist deep water. Yeah, Secrets is trash. It is, that fucking town is garbage. Yeah. Secrets, dude, Secrets is bad. I never went but people would be like, high school and college like, we're going to Secrets. And I'm like, I'd rather go to Heatonism than fucking.

Yeah. Oh, fucking terrible. We always grew up, we always grew up going down to the South Jersey shore for a vacation. And then one year, for some reason, my mom said, we got to go to Ocean City, Maryland. And I remember being down there for like two hours and being like, yo, let's get the fuck out of this place.

Yeah. This place stinks. It's weird. It looks like, it's looked like before they built South Beach, they built this just to see what it would look like. Yeah, it's like the prototype for a cool city. Yeah, that they just let people move into. Yeah, it wasn't done yet.

Oh, the fucking beach. It needs to go back in the oven for a couple of minutes. It's fucking garbage. The hotel's a shit. We did the same thing. Went to some shitty motel and it was just a bunch of hillbillies and go-karts. And I'm like, yo, let's get the fuck out of here.

This place is trash. Yeah. I don't like when you go to a hotel and people are bringing their own coolers in. Oh, that's a bad look, man. That's a bad look. Has my family done that? For sure.

Yeah, it's like, you can't just go get a beer. You have to have one at your fucking reach in your every second. In a ready-eagle cooler that does not match to the core. Yeah, a faded ready-eagle cooler. Yeah. But we did Colonial Williamsburg. It's bad.

It's like, it's owned by Anheuser-Busch or something. It's just like, it's all just beer. Yeah. The Clydesdales are down there. That's where they keep the big Clydesdales and the Budweiser commercials. It's all just a scheme to drink Budweiser. I don't even know about it.

I've never heard it. I didn't even know it existed till right now. It's like where people dress up like old-timey, like, you know, like, Thomas Jefferson. Yeah, there's a part of it where it's all Colonial Williamsburg. Yeah, I don't like that. There's a blacksmith and stuff. Yeah, that's, I mean, I don't mind it.

I don't know that shit, but the clothes back then, everybody's dick smelled. And could you imagine going down on a girl, like, getting hot and bothered in a shoe, you're in a barn and you take it. It just smells like piss hay. I couldn't watch Deadwood because of that. They, big people almost to fucking stunk.

I can't fucking get into this. Oh, they take that. That was before toilet paper, right? Before, right? Yeah, I mean, they were just. And what a day, what a day you, I mean, there's so many questions about that time of this country. I mean, periods, poop, all kinds of shit.

What did you guys do? Anything pre-refrigeration, pre-ice cubes, pre-air conditioning, pre-showers must have fucking sucked. Unless you lived in a lake, it must have fucking sucked. I mean, the teeth, fucking teeth. Such bad mouths, for sure. Terrible mouths. Just, Tara, I mean, just, just.

You're better off losing your teeth. That's the only way to have okay teeth. I want to say this. Somebody's wife, they loved their mouths and pussies. Never mind a hooker, a fucking hooker. It probably couldn't even get much worse. They were probably all just bad. Oh, my God.

Yeah, tough look. But who knows, man? I'd like to find out. We could be wrong. We could be wrong. Sure. They could have something back then. I just don't know what it was.

A lot of talcum powder going around the fucking whorehouse. It's like pound cake by the end of the day. All right, I got one. Right now, this coming October, what kind of candy are you guys at? Because you're suburbs. What kind of candy are you giving out on Halloween? Good question.

Good question. What I give out? This is a big gauge of your character now. OK, here's the deal. I live in a dead neighborhood. OK. Do you know what that is? Yeah, there's not a lot of people don't come,

or the kids go elsewhere. Yeah, like it was. Not a lot of foot traffic. You would have a lot of Easter candy, or you would have a lot of Halloween candy at Halloween. This might make me garbage, because what we do is we go to a better neighborhood. Oh.

They bus you in. We bus ourselves in. And you know that people of that neighborhood are walking around going, oh, look at this. Get out of their car. Look who's getting out of their car. We're not that garbage. Do you park in somebody else's driveway?

Just pull in. Yeah, pull up the Camaro on the front yard. We're friends with this couple. They're really cool. And they have a little kid party. So we go over there, and then we do the whole. And it's unfucking believable. I mean, it's a great neighborhood.

Yeah, I mean, my kid loads up his bag. But we do put on the front, we put trick-or-treat sneakers, Reese's, and, uh. You say trick-or-treat sneakers? Snickers. Snickers. Oh, snickers. Snickers.

A couple of sneakers. Yeah, we give everybody Nike airs, George. Yeah, so I thought you were a jetman. Fucking Air Max One over at Kelly's house. We give Air Max Ones, and we give away Duffelbags. Like Jordan Duffelbags. Oh, that's funny. Dude, I remember getting a king-sized crunch bar one time.

And we went to the nice neighborhood. Got a king-sized crunch bar, dude. I thought I was in Evan. Yeah, they'll break you off at 20 over at the nice fucking neighborhood, every once in a while. Yeah. But there was always the idea of,

do you go to the really rich neighborhoods, or do you go to like the townhouses so you can get more doors? You know what I mean? There was a system to it. Well, in New York City, we didn't know this. When we bought our place in New York, we loved Halloween.

I've always loved it. And we got our candy, and we went outside, and we sat on the stoop. And we were like, come here. And it was just me and my chick going, come here. And they were just looking at us like, no. Nah, I'm not doing that. We didn't know that they went to the bodagas.

They go to the stores, yeah. Yeah, I didn't know that. They didn't see some bald guy like me with a bucket of candy. Come into my, come here. Come on, come on. Yeah. Straight down the alleyway.

Don't worry, come on. Keep going, keep going. Well, that's the thing. You got to go through two doors. I got to buzz you in. Come on in. I wouldn't want to raise a kid. Dude, having a kid in New York that in their trick-or-treat

in like a barber shop, it's the weirdest shit to me from growing up in the suburbs. It's like, you know, they're running in. They're running in and out of Dwayne Reads. They get a crunch bar. It's stupid. Yeah, I didn't like it one fucking bit. I did not like it at all.

It's kind of stupid. Up here, it's like when I was a kid, I'd have two fucking sex. Excuse me, gabbage of candy. You know, but yeah. I remember one year, my fucking, some kids took my bag. Yeah, that's happened.

Because you had a pillowcase. Yeah. Because they didn't have these, you know, they got all this shit now. He's got a, and it's got a light on it. It's crazy shit. And all the parents have lights and blah, blah, blah. And they have hot chocolate and some would drink in

and they have, it's really Westchester. When I was a kid, I was out by myself with a, with a, my pillowcase. And I filled that fucker and went home. My grandmother went through it all. And then let me go at it as much as I wanted till I fucking got sick. And then you went to bed.

Yeah. Good times, baby. Good times. Now my wife was like, you can have two. It's like, let the fucking kid. I just worked his ass off door to door to door. You know what I mean? It's like a traveling salesman.

Let him get a couple of Snickers. You know what I mean? One night go to fucking get a cavity. I don't give a shit. Do your thing. Yeah. Throw up. I don't care. Oh, that's funny.

Bobby, do you currently or have you ever owned a metal detector? It looks like a metal detector guide, doesn't it? Yeah. He could be. You can see him on the lake shorefront early in the morning with a cigar. Here's a problem with all these questions.

What? I've wanted a lot of these things. He's just too garbage to ever actually get them. There's just a something in me that won't let me get them. I'm surprised you don't have a metal detector. My son has a toy one, of course. A little one, but it's not real. But I've always wanted to get a metal detector.

I always just want to find a bullet or a bell buckle from the Civil War. Dude, I had one as a kid. I got one at Radio Shack for $149.99. I remember my dad ate it. I begged for months, finally got one, and we didn't find shit. That thing did not.

Dude, you can put it on the side of a car and it still wouldn't go off. That thing did not work at all. Yeah, there's a lot. There's a lot. You gotta get the real good ones. Then you gotta get the dumb stick. The scoop.

Dude, the scoop. You gotta get the scoop, but then there's like another magnet you have to have up. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Oh, I didn't know that. So they had a TV show on for a minute with these fucking two rednecks. Ask people, you know, they'd find little plots

that had war battles on it back. Can we please, and they'd like, all right, go ahead, and they'd go around and they'd fucking find a bullet. Look at this corn. Is that what it is? And they'd go to commercial. Oh my God. And you'd have to wait

and then it would be a fucking penny from. Yeah, Pepsi cap or something like that. Yeah. Dude, we saw a guy down here at the beach. It's just like a blue collar resort town. And he was like walking through and everybody's like, get the fuck outta here. Gain shit.

Yeah, dude, I can't bring myself to get one. But I do, I do geocache. What's that? That sounds trashy. It sounds real bad. Bobby, it don't sound good. Come on, come on. Does it have to do with a geotracker?

If it does, you're in fucking trouble. It's an app that you download and people put little treasures all around the country and the world. And it will show you on the map where there are, like this right near you, right across the street from you. There's points or something. And you have to find it and then you open it

and you see what it is. And sometimes you take something, leave something. Sometimes you just sign your name and it's been there. You've probably walked by it a hundred times. It's been there for eight years. You know what I mean? But it's just, you know, these little treasures. So it's almost like-

Sounds like you need another hobby. Have another kid or something, Bobby. Jesus Christ. No, I do not. Like a nerd alert. Stuff you in a fucking locker. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Wait.

Bobby, tune into our podcast next week with are you a loser with Bobby Kelly? I fuck you. I do it with my kid. Sometimes you sign your name. Sometimes you leave something, you sign your name. I'm actually the president of our chapter. It's great.

That sounds a lot like Pokemon go to me, Bobby. Yeah, I'll tell you that. I do it with my kid. I don't do it by myself. I don't go out there with a bandana and accomplish you fuckchoppers, okay? He's got cut off. He's got cut off jeans on and the work boots tie dye.

Yeah. Fuck, I'm looking like a hardy boy. I'm on a fucking push scooter. Fucking a now jean bottle with stickers. I fucking, I bring my kid, you motherfucker. All right, all right, all right, all right. It was just the way you sold it, dude, because you took a sip off your tea or whatever.

He kind of knew you. He kind of knew he was going to get beat up. He's got to do geo tracking or something. I gave you that one. I gave you that one. And we were like, what? And you were like, oh, shit, it's not on your list. I feel like there's tomato soup in that coffee cup, too.

All right, man. I got one. Hit it, buddy. I know your wife, she said your wife does most of the cooking. I'm sure this is a no, OK? I'm sure this is a no, but I have to be thorough. I have to ask you. All right, have you ever made a dish

with a recipe required crushed potato chips as an ingredient? I'm not going to wear a food that has that. No, but I'm not going to fucking deny that it doesn't make a tuna sandwich that much better. That much better. If you're not putting chips on a sandwich that you're making at home, you're a fucking asshole. That much better.

No, I don't do it because it seems a little rich to me. I do it for sure. Yeah, I mean, it makes it that much better. Now, my kid last week, we had taco Tuesday. I didn't have the taco shell. I had a lettuce shell. And he took one of my no-grain tortilla chips and broke it up into my taco.

And it made it taste like it was a taco. That's a taco salad, Bobby. You never had that? You never had that? Taco salad. No, I never had that. I think that's a garbage-filly thing, I think. Taco salad.

Taco dip was big. There's a lot of Hidden Valley Ranch involved in that taco salad. Yeah, I remember one time, me and Jay, we were traveling. I was just trying to get home. We had a six-hour drive, and he begged me to go to Taco Bell in the middle of the night. And this fat fuck got us taco salad.

And I remember we left. We left, and they didn't give us the sour cream, and he made me go back. Oh, fuck. My car smelled like a fucking shit taco. And then that fat fuck fell asleep because he ate too much. He was supposed to step in. I was just throwing M&M's at his head.

If you're, do you think that's a garbage move? If you're driving with somebody somewhere, do you mind if that person, if the person's in shotgun, if they fall asleep, or do you think that's trashy? Gotta ask. You gotta ask. No. I don't think you're, I don't even think you're.

No, that's, no. That's your responsibility. You shouldn't even ask. No. I can drive yourself to the gig, then. That's what I'm saying. Drive yourself to the gig. He's over agreeing with you.

Yeah, I'm saying you shouldn't do it at all. Oh, sorry. You shouldn't even ask, because then the burden's on me to be the asshole to say, no, stay up. Your job, if I'm driving us to the gig, your job is to not sleep. This isn't a, this isn't the bold bus. Depends on who it is, though.

If it's Jodoros, you might want him to take a nap. His mouth rests for a couple minutes. You know what I mean? Well, it's Foley. He goes into sugar coma. So I can't really help it. We hit a Wendy's and he doesn't make it out of the parking lot. Oh, yeah.

All right, my time. Patrice, we were driving home from a gig and he, you know, we would stop in every five minutes because of his diabetes. He had a piss. And then we finally stopped to get gas. Yeah, I come out of the bathroom myself. He's got a honey bun and a yuhu in his hand.

I'm like, we're never going to get home. Might as well live here. Oh, man, that's too funny. I was actually on my list. How do you feel about yuhu? Are you a fan of yuhu? I am not. Really?

No, chocolate milk. Get a chocolate milk. If you're going to go chocolate milk, why are you going to go some strange Dutch fucking Denmark fucking Java? Where did it come from? I don't think it's Dutch or Denmark. There's no milk in it.

There's no milk in it. It's like Newark. It's not it's not a fancy European. It's like flavored water. Yeah, I feel like they did. They got it out of like some hose in a factory. Yeah, it's not good. It's a weird consistency.

It's a weird consistency. And you have to shake it. And it gets this bubbly, watery, fucking shit. And also like chocolate milk. It's not like chocolate milk's like 25 cents a glass. Like it's not like you're saving money buying the yuhu. Yeah, it's stupid. It's stupid.

What's the chocolate milk situation at your house? What do you do? What do you have? Powder syrup? No, not the powder, the squeeze. What kind of squeeze? What's the brand? Hershey's.

Yes, he's a gentleman. He's, you know, he is. He is very nice. OK, but if you're making chocolate milk, I make it. He likes when I make it because I fucking screw. You can see the milk go up like an inch. Oh, so that just answered the question. This is a big this is a big theme on the podcast.

You put milk in first and then the chocolate. You put milk in, but you leave an inch. OK, and then you put the chocolate so you can see how much chocolate you put in. Milk go up and you're like, all right, that's enough chocolate. I know. And then you chocolate, you don't have to worry about it. This animal does it the reverse way.

He puts them the chocolate in first like a lunatic and then the milk savage. Yeah, I know. That means the stuff's going to get stuck into the cup. When the milk's in there, it prevents it from getting stuck to the bottom. That's what you got a spoon for. No, I know what you use the spoon for.

I'm not sitting there using my fucking pinky. But when you put the milk in first, then the chocolate, it doesn't go directly to the bottom and stick. Yes, the chocolate and it sticks to that cup. It's hard. You're never going to get all the chocolate. The Grand Canyon down there.

You got to fucking you got to blend it in. You know what I mean? You're wasting it. Well, I don't know if you realize this, but I'm fucking garbage. That's why I do it. Well, that's like not having water in the toilet bowl. Your shit would just hit the fucking.

I know. Yeah, just stain it every time. Wait, you guys got water in your toilet bowl. What the fuck's going on here? All right, I think I only got one or two more. Go ahead, Kippy. Jeans. Have you ever used duct tape to fix your car?

Even temporarily or anything now? No, but I did use a stick once. What? I had a 67 Chevy Impala and the fan belt fell off. And back then, cars, you could, you know, there was nothing in them. It was just the engine and, you know, it was very, there was nothing.

Yeah. And I got a stick and I fucking jimmyed it back on. And I got back to the Jewish camp I was working as a lifeguard. None of that sounded good. Oh, none of that. That was an onion that just kept on peeling. I have one last question. I was debating going one or two ways on this.

But I think I'm going to ask you, do you have any psychics in your family, any mediums in your family, anybody who says that they can connect to the spirits on the other side? He does. He does. No, I don't. I'm a Romanian.

I'm a fucking Irish Italian from Boston. We don't fucking believe in that shit. Yeah, dude. They're either Catholic. That's like head down, shut up. Fucking Christ. You know, you believe in Jesus Christ, and you shut your face, you know.

You don't talk about sex. Yeah, you don't masturbate when you're lost. Yeah. When you masturbate, you fucking, you know your dead grandmother's watching. She's going to take the head. And you don't do it when anybody knows on an airplane. That's the thing I've learned, too.

The fact that people go down, I see these people going down to these little psychic places in the West Village. Oh, yeah. Dude, what are you doing? I want to know how the fuck they're paying rent. Oh, dude, they're not. You don't know about the gypsies in New York City? I guess not.

Dude, they got scams. Really? Yeah, dude, they squat. They just take apartments. Yeah, some of them are just in like a telephone booth size little room of like, they're so strange looking. I always get turned on when I walk by those things for some reason.

If the girl's like kind of hot. Yeah, but that's why. Yeah, there's never a heifer out front saying come on in. It's always like a cute Romanian chick. Yeah, there's always this sub chick out. She says hi. She looks attainable. She's not too hot.

She's attainable. Like, she might give me a hand job. Yeah, so I'm thinking. Yeah, and then you go back there and they're like, and then they get real serious. And then let me ask her, oh, shut up. I just want to go there and go shut up, but they'll fucking stab you.

There's women will fight. They got a boot knife. They'll fucking stick it right in the jug. It'll bleed you out and fucking use your blood for a potion. I need blood of Fat Man when it's just fully fucking laid out on the curb. Do not fuck with gypsies, dude. They'll take your blood and throw coins in it

to fucking make it more money. Don't fuck with gypsies. Poor leaf clovers are glowing out of my stomach. That's great, man. Bobby, that's all we have for you, man. Kippy, do you got anything else? No, that's it, buddy. Thank you so much, man.

We appreciate it. And your garbage through and through. I say no. I say no. Really, Kippy? Buddy, what? First of all, this guy had breakfast for dinner last week. Within the week, he's had breakfast for dinner.

That's a big no-no. He ordered steak at a diner. That ain't looking good. He ordered his prime rib. That's a different story. He's skeeting his jeans. When he was a kid. I don't know.

I'm saying classy. I'm saying you're classy, buddy, honestly. With the dinners look alive. I'll give you not garbage. He's not classy. I'll give you that, though. Walker's not garbage. He's in the middle.

Taking my kid to a diner? Yeah, what the fuck? No, order in the no. See, don't try to wrap it up. No, don't try to wrap it up like it's you and your kid. No, no, no. Garbage is not seeing your kid. Okay?

No, garbage is ordering prime rib at a diner. That is trash. Sounds pretty good to me. I gotta be honest with you. Yeah, you're also trash. And may or may not be having a heart attack during the podcast. I want to name it at diner.

Yeah, fountain diner. It's not a Denny's clock sucker. I mean, what the fuck? It's one of them. It's one family. It's been there for 100 years. You go to a diner, you get the omelette, you get the chicken fingers.

If I do that, I'm still garbage with you. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm garbage. If you try to order a nice cut of meat and then say how good it is at the diner, you're trash. Go to a steakhouse, Bobby. Fuck you. I'm going to take you to the diner one night.

I'm going to get you the prime rib. And you're going to see that it's fucking good. You clock sucker. Yeah, Bobby, I'm trash, dude. I am garbage. I'll sit there and say it's good. I don't want to be you. Does the fountain diner serve the baked potatoes in the tinfoil?

Because I get the vibe they do. Probably great. They do have the baked potato in the tinfoil. That's great. That's clean leaven. That one on the cob in the tinfoil is nice, too. I'm not wrong with it. Maybe on a cast iron skillet coming out.

Bobby, I doubt there's anything. But is there anything you want the folks out there to know that they might not already know? You got Kelly and Colt to show on Patreon? Every night, 7 o'clock, we're doing that. You did it last week. I'd like to have you on it, too. Maybe both of you guys come on and plug your show.

You're going to be hilarious. I would love, guys, I'm glad you're doing this. It's great. Thank you, buddy. We appreciate you being on. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Robert Kelly, can't be anything I tell him? Again, just please rate, review, subscribe.

We appreciate all the support so far. We've got it off. New reviews and subscribers every day. We really appreciate it. Please tell a friend. And if everybody's writing and commenting, commenting, sending them DMs and questions that they want to submit, just email them

to rugarbage.gmail.com. That way, they won't get lost in all the alerts and stuff. Awesome, Bobby. You got to start doing this with real famous people. OK, but this is the new hot ones, baby. What are you, baby? What are you talking about? Yeah, we just read 97 of your credits, Bobby.

What are you talking about? This guy's done everything under the sun. Despite the prime rib at the diner. Either way. All right, dude, go get a wet towel. Put it on the back of your neck, would you? Fucking Christ, I'll see you guys. I'm going to go get it.

I'm going to go get a couple of stints put in. Bobby, thank you. See you, Bobby. Aw, man.