Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Sarah Tollemache -Trashier in Texas

Episode Date: November 16, 2020

Kippy and Foley are back with the super funny Sarah Tollemache for a classic episode of AYG! Sarah talks trying to be a stripper, drinking too much, making her own cheese, and growing up with little bit of caaaaaashhh.  Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code GARBAGE at www.Manscaped.com  Bonus Episodes: www.Patreon.com/AreYouGarbage   Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is Are You Garbage, the show where we sit down with your favorite comedians in front of the group classy or if they're absolute trash. I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful Sunday afternoon down here in Aunt Toody's basement. Gotta keep it down. She had a late night last night. She'll start banging on the stairs. If we make too much noise, my co-host is coming at you from right next to me. Sure am. He cooks the books. He's the chairman of the board.

He put the whole thing together. We got his name on the lease. Still waiting for the insurance to come through so I can trip in the bathroom, get a little fucking Fozoles out of this. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Kippy, Kevin, James, Ryan. Insurance is paid everybody. I had to overnight it two days ago. My knee. My knee. I had everybody calling me the landlord, the fucking insurance agent, my mom. Everybody was fucking out to me. Is there asbestos in here? I got mesophilaeuma. What's up everybody? Thanks so much for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes. We appreciate that. You can also, full video is available on YouTube, but you can subscribe there as well. Those numbers are through the roof. We're fucking

appreciate that. And then obviously, the thing that pays the bills, Patreon.com slash R U Garbage. Guys, we hit our first mark. Our first goal was 250 patrons. We fucking hit that out of the park real quick. Yes. In like a week. Yes. So now we're going to do a Cribs edition of Foley's Family's house. And they ain't happy. No, they are not. They're already setting some rules that we can't. There's certain rooms we can't film, which by the way, we're going to. It looks like a bomb hit it because they had a little water damage and they're waiting for an insurance check to come rolling through. There's always an insurance thing going on with you and your family. There's going to just be a closet full of neck braces. But guys, check that out. The support

has been fantastic. The three different levels. You can get audio, video, and then we're going to be doing monthly live streams with people as well. So it'll be a good time. Sign up today. Yes, sir. And we could not forget our producer extraordinaire, the one, the only. He works the ones and twos. He makes the fucking magic of the podcast happen. Mr. Toby McMullen, everybody. Give him a nice big round of applause. Tea dog. We love you, buddy, but we could not be more excited to have our incredibly, incredibly special guest here with us today. You guys wanted her. We wanted her. We got her. We got to get on a fucking Sunday. She made room in the schedule for us. She is a very, very funny and very successful standup comedian and actor as an actor. She has

appeared in you and your fucking coffee, pop meets void and the independent hit punching Henry as a standup comedian. Here we go. I'm listening. Last comic standing. Adam Devine's house party. Late show with Stephen Colbert. Oh boy. Comedy essentials every damn day. Jeff Ross roast battle. The late, late show with James Corbin. This week at the comedy seller, she has an album out right now called the luptuous boy, which is absolutely fantastic. And of course, you know her from the Vag podcast. But the big question everybody's mind today is she garbage? And I can tell you this is a nice little Italian place down down called Trattatori Toramachi. Ladies and gentlemen, Sarah Toramachi, everybody. Oh my goodness. When you read my credits, I'm like, why am I sad?

That sounded so good. Yeah, you should just, you should. Can we cut that for her so she can listen to it every day when she wakes up? I am accomplished. Very accomplished, man. That was my gratitude list. Thank you. You're welcome. I don't have to write it. And I got to be there for your, for your album recording. You did absolutely fantastic. It was fucking awesome. Two great shows. We loved it. Thank you for coming in. Sit with us. Yeah, thanks for having me. I'm a big fan of the show. We are going to find out. Yes, I'd love to. I want to confront this. Do you think you're garbage? I think I have tendency. I think it's I think I don't think I am garbage. But I when you go through, I think if I go through my life, I'm like, yes, I have had plenty of

garbage moments. Sure. We've discussed a couple of things. Yeah. And we're going to get into it on the podcast. But you know, I feel like I'm in good company. Yeah, with certain things. Oh man, especially with the dairy product situation, dairy. Yikes. That's a big no no in Kippy's book. Oh yeah. Wait, you with the one you're gonna you're gonna fall out of your chair. I'm literally out with my skins, my blood's running cold. We're going to get into it gang. Give us the backstory. Where'd you grow up? What's the scoop? What's the scoop? I grew up in a suburb outside of Houston, Texas called Kingwood, Texas. The livable forest is the name tagline underneath that. You got to if you get that's that's nice though. That's your neighborhood as a tagline.

That's pretty good. Kingwood doesn't sound classy. That sounds like bad charcoal or something. It was a I would be a corporate development is how the best way I can explain it. Wow. Um, claim to fame. George Foreman live their grief. That's a little bit of cash. Yeah, is this but it's this is our garbage, but they're good garbage. Yeah, he's got money. He's got money. Yeah. If you if you currently have a George Foreman girl, you got to call me on Venmo your money. What the fuck's going on? I saw the office the other day and he was using one outside. It was fucking great. Wait, what did your dad do? What did your mom or dad do? My for most of my childhood, my mom was a stay at home mom and then my dad had his

own business of mergers and acquisitions. We got some fucking money in M&As as they call it in the biz. I don't even know what that is. Do they call it a large? No, either. He's the middleman for corporations that want to be bought and sold. So he makes the deal. He gets to as we like to say, he gets to let his big Richard Gears character and pretty woman was in mergers and acquisitions. That gives you a little. I think it was based on your dad. This guy fucks to damn. Wait a minute. So you lived in the same neighborhood as George Foreman. Yes, but it wasn't I mean it at the neighborhood was about now it's at it's probably around 200,000 people. So it's like a small town. Okay. Well, that's yeah. Okay. Well, why do you say it's a court? Why is it corporate? Is it

because it started off as like a company developed it? It's not like people started building their homes. It would be like a Toll Brothers, you know, Stony Brook Farms or whatever. Yeah. But wait, did the company build it for their employees to live at? No, just like just built by a corporation came in and developed it. Yeah. They're all aren't all neighborhoods built by a corporation? Not necessarily. I don't think they can be like pieced together and stuff like that. Okay. So all the houses kind of looked alike. Yes. They were they like the McMansions? There are a lot of McMansions. Yeah. Did you see George Foreman like walking around like walking his dog and shit? I didn't because his family grew up in a different subdivision than we did.

Any time there's a subdivision, it doesn't sound good. George Foreman keeping it real and slumming it. We would call those subdivisions villages. Why? So there was Trailwood Village. I grew up in Kings Lake. Sounds like Narnia. Sounds like you guys are putting a lot of lipstick on this. Well, we're going to go over to the village. Well, it was really funny when I graduated and was living outside of the villages. I love this episode already. I thought everybody referred to subdivisions as villages. So I would be, I remember one time I was in Encino, California, and I didn't know it and I was like, what village is this? And they were like village. What are you, Borat? That's Sarah. She's a little slow or something. Holy shit.

What is a subdivision? It's a smaller part of the town and they have their, he's never going to wrap his head around this. They have their own like elementary school, their own pool, their own, we call them green belts and they would connect other villages. So there were trails through woods that, it was actually a really nice place to grow up. Was there any retaining ponds in your neighborhood? A lot of retaining ponds to deal with the flooding. Yeah. Did you ever go swimming in one of those? What? No. Well, I swam in a lake. I grew up on a lake and it was a manmade lake. It was brown and we would go golf ball hunting because there was a golf ball, a golf course,

country club across the lake. Talk about a Friday night. Yes. I got a title list. That is a mix of trash and class right there. Yeah. It was a good business though. My brother raked in like thousands of dollars. Getting golf balls and probably sell them to the club. To the club and then also driving ranges and they would buy them in bulk because they were so golf, golf balls are expensive. Very. We would sell them to 25 cents a piece. How would you get that many? There was so many. Yeah. And he would just pick them up one at a time. We'd pick them up when we put, we had a canoe and we put them in a bucket. That's pretty awesome. We had a pool and we would put the golf balls in the pool to clean. That's trashy.

That's a real trash. I'm sorry. In your pool, like your personal pool? Yeah. Mom, I don't watch these golf balls. I gotta give it to the total. They're fucking earners though. Everybody's out there. The dad's making money. She's got the kids working. Well, going back to that later on, I found out we weren't making money. We had really great credit for a while and then we crashed and burned. That happened to us too. Yeah. Devastating. So your dad lost a lot of it. Yeah, because he's like us comedy. Meaning like we're, he goes off of deals. So there'll be years with nothing big happening. And so we're just living off debt. And then as soon as the deal would happen, we would pay off that debt. But then sometimes you couldn't keep up with it.

And you know, later on in life, my dad lived way more than we could afford. Downsides later. About 20 years later. What kind of living it up stuff did he do like vacations, dinners? Do you guys go out to eat a lot when you were a kid? A lot to eat. We went to the movies every Friday. Woo. That's my class. My both of my parents had Mercedes. Nice. Then when we went in high school, my dad, my mom was so embarrassed because he bought us all three kids that were six, like 16, 17 and 18. We got cars. And then my mom was embarrassed because we all had cars, but then our garage door was just broken for years, not even fixed. But he bought us cars. Not fixing the garage. That's real trash. Yeah, I like this guy. He plays it fast and loose,

dude. He don't give a fuck. There's nothing like going to like your friend's house that like, you know, looks like they have money, like they have a big house and like, yeah, like shit's all fucked up. There's no furniture. There's all shingles and stuff like that. Things aren't getting fixed. The wallpaper is peeling off. It was, yeah, people would be like, Oh, you'd, they'd be like, Oh, you're thinking that I grew up rich. And I was like, no, we just have credit. Yeah. There's a difference. Shout out the capital war. Yeah. What's in your wallet, baby? Not much. Nothing. What kind of car did he buy you guys? Did he buy you all new cars? New cars. Holy shit. Carolas. Did you all get the same kind of car? Oh, he definitely got some kind of

shifty deal on that too. I guess. Yeah, I guess so. But now when I look back, I'm like, God, I've learned from my dad's financial mistakes. I don't try. I try not to live the way that beyond your means. That's my goal right there. Yeah. Fucking credits loans. Do you see this place? We can't afford this. This is all. That's patreon.com, folks. Slash out your garbage. What happens to you as a question of both of you? What happens to you if you have debt and you die? That's what I've always wondered. It's settled by, I explain this to you. It's settled by your estate. We're sitting in there right now. Your name's not on any of this shit. It's settled by your estate, I believe. So if you die and you owe $100,000, but your house is worth $50,000,

they then sell that, they take that $50,000 that you have. So if I died right now, I got nothing, I don't have an estate or anything like that. Everybody has an estate. I mean, I don't. No, the estate of H. Foley, it's worthless. Yeah. Yeah. There's no assets to it. So what would they do? The creditors ran it off his bad debt, which they saw come in fucking three years ago. See you around, losers. I'll be in hell long before you find me. It's a technique for sure. Yeah. Yeah. And so then they downsize now. What do they live in now? So we moved to a smaller house. My parents got rid of their Mercedes. The 12 Mercedes? Yeah. They got repoed. They're at times. What? Yeah. My same shit. I remember somebody took a,

my dad had a fucking navigator and they came and got that real quick. In the middle of the night. In the middle of the night and I was, what? The next morning I went over and I'm like, where's the navigator? He's like, you know, something. Yeah. It's sketchy. It's crazy. And you feel the tension with, because my, I think my dad, and I live kind of like this. You're always thinking there's going to be a big deal around the corner chasing the car. Yes. We'll pay everything off. And I know he's the same way. I'm, I always, I do everything nervously. Like when I go out to dinner and I use my debit card, there's like a 55th, like I'm just petrified that it's going to come back. I've never, never confidently swiped my credit card, even though I could put a thousand

dollar check in there. Yeah. I'm still going. I still have like three excuses lined up. You know what I mean? Like it's just preposterous. Yeah. A backup card just in case. Oh, I wait. That's maxed out too. I just, I remember always when I was a kid, my dad would always take the money out of the ATM before we went to dinner because he didn't want any surprises. Yeah. You know what I mean? What did they repo the cars when you were living there? Like when you were a kid? I was around, around the time I graduated high school that things caught up to us. So I had feds. Yes. So I had, I was starting to make my own money. So it wasn't affecting me too much, but I could sense the embarrassment. And I would have to say declare my dad died last year.

And I would say he cleared all of his debts. Oh, there you go. Fantastic. We changed in the last 20 years. We, he made better and was settled it out. Yeah. Making better with the money and all. And then my mom ended up, she went to school and then she got a job and that would also help out with finance and help with like retirement stuff later on. Okay. That's awesome. Did he do anything like when he bought the cars, whether it was like boats or jet skis or anything like that? No. Fortunately, that one, we looked down upon that. Sure. That's real new money trash. A jet dude, if you got a jet ski out front of your house and you don't live on the water, come on. My one neighbor had had like four snowmobiles. Taking it to like a river or something. You're

like, what the fuck? Oh, I grew up with people that I'm going to the river this weekend. River people. You didn't do the river? We didn't do the river. We looked down upon river people. Yeah. Golf balls in your tub. Hey, she's not a fucking Kennedy, but she ain't a river person. It's fucking grinding out here, grinding dude. Was the pool in ground or above ground? In ground. Yeah. The dad's got a Ponzi scheme on Mercedes. He's not swimming in an above ground pool. What was it like the morning you woke up and the fucking cars were gone? I think there was maybe a level of embarrassment. Sure. Yeah, a lot. I felt just bad for my dad because later on you're just, it's all like, he wants a nice life for us.

One of you is losing the Corolla. I'm telling you that. Yeah, I don't know. Actually, to be fair, I don't know what ended up. I think we ended up selling each of us sold the Corolla and then we put that towards the next car. It's a good deal though. Totally not. Sounds like a tight unit. Yeah, we were a tight unit. Hustlers and thieves, but a tight unit. Tick-ass thieves. You're like gypsies. You're making it work. Putting a spell on the loan officer. They took the car. I had a fucking troke full of tidaluses in there. We're ruined. Oh, man. And where did you go to school? High college. I went to a lot of colleges.

All right. Here we go. This is where things get a little dicey. Dicey. Well, I had a drinking problem. I currently have one. So I had a drinking problem. So it was really hard for me to, as soon as the first major project came, drop. I'm out. I would do stuff like I'm going to go study at the bar and bring the laptop. The lies you tell yourself. Studying at the bar. Never took it out of the book. It was nickel pitchers over the draft horse or whatever. What was your drink when you were, when you were boozing? Well, first it was white Russians. And then one time, the dairy, the dairy. I love half and half. And then I was into white Russians. And then there was one camping trip. I got so wasted on it that I barfed inside the tent.

Oh my God. Party foul. That's insane. But I woke up refreshed. And my bones were strong. I could lift up a house if you needed me to. Crack metal on these teeth. I'll tell you that. I woke up with an extra set of teeth. Holy shit. That's a lot of fucking white Russians. Dude, who the fuck brings half and half on a camping trip? Yeah. You got to roll with a cooler everywhere. It was my friend. He was a chef. He'd be like, let's make a white Russian before we pitch the tents. Chefs do the service industry really get after it though. They do. They bring extra to the party. Because they live like a comic lifestyle with like at two, they're like, all right. Time to drink. Time to get started.

Then the perks start. Everybody starts getting into it. They party for sure. Yeah. Oh man. That's funny. Yeah. Well, I think we know that you're Trash at this point. But yeah, I've got more moments too. Like during my dad's financial, I was like, I don't, I needed to make money and I wanted money. Oh God. So I was like, I heard strippers make money. So I stripped for a brief moment on the weekends. Are you kidding me? No. What? Yeah. Where in Houston? In Houston, it's a strip club capital. It had the most strip clubs per capita. Dude, I just told you the Tolemash is not how to earn. Do you wear a stripper? Yeah. And I didn't make, I wasn't good. You know, this, here's a tip.

Don't wear a one piece. I've talked about this on Jessica's podcast. I wear my prom dress as my stripper outfit because that was the only thing that was close to resembling to stripping. Wow. You really were in a haul. That's crazy. You wore your prom dress? Yes. To strip? Yes. Because it was a halter top. Oh my God. It had a halter and it went long. And so a lot of people are like, think stripping is easy money, but you actually have to be a good salesman and I wasn't a good salesman to myself. How much would you, first of all, how long did you do it? I think I made more money waiting tables than I did. Really? Yeah. And I, a lot of the money, some of the money I found was money that I found on the floor that strippers

dropped. Dropped. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, what the fuck, man. And also you would always find cocaine on the floor too. Nice. There you go. Where do I sign up? I only made three bucks, but I found an eight ball. Let's go. I still love my suit from the prom. Get me a boutonniere. Let's fucking hit the bricks. Cause well, when, if you're stripping, you, a lot of times you, it's not from the stage, it's from the lap dances. Do you have to really be like, it's kind of like a girlfriend experience and I don't give a shit. You have to be like, oh my God, I can't. That's so fascinating that you do that for a living. That's so, I've never thought about it that way before. And it's just like a lot of mental energy. And you're like, I'd rather just try to make a bunch of ones on stage.

Put them in a crown royal bag. And that's how I waited tables too. Turn and burn. It wasn't about upselling. The quick flip. Support for are you garbage is brought to you today by our new sponsor Manskate baby. The best in below the waist grooming for men. It's the best thing out there. They got the tools for your family. Jules, if you know what I'm talking about, hit it big man. Dude, I'm telling you right now, and this is not because it's an ad. This thing is unbelievable before. No, listen, I'm a bigger guy. Sure. All right. So if things, you know, if the front yards growing down there, there's a lot of discomfort, there's a little bit of odor, there's a little bit of this, there's a little bit of that. It's very important to your daily use, you say.

If dude, it really is. And I used to use just the beard trimmer that I use on my face. But when you're doing that down there, all right, it's got the metal blades. You don't know what's going on. There's no guard. And when you, when you nick something down there, it stings. Yeah, it stings for a couple of days and it's dangerous. And listen, you only get one of them things. You can't be walking around with a couple of nicks on it. You know what I mean? But dude, it's crazy. These guys at Manscape, they got the ceramic blade, which reduces any kind of accidents. You know what I mean? It has a 90 minute charger. All right. So you got 90 minutes of use on it. They run at 7,000 RPMs, right? How powerful is that? But they use a quiet stroke, which keeps it nice and soft. Listen.

So do I. You know what I mean? It's running right now. You can barely hear it. And not to mention, they have an LED light, which is the most important thing, because you can see where you're driving down there. You're not driving blind in the middle of the night. You know what I mean? And on top of that, the thing's waterproof. You can take it in a shower. You can clean yourself up nice. This thing is awesome. I can't believe that they sent us one for free. This is unbelievable. And I love this thing. Yeah, that's great. So guys, trim that junk of yours. If you're a listener of the show, we have a special deal for you. You get 20% off, big man. What? 20% to zero. 20% off. And that ain't done yet. And free shipping. When you use the promo code Garbage at Manscape.com,

that's promo code Garbage at Manscape.com. That's 20% off and free shipping. Manscape.com. Use promo code Garbage. Now back to the show. Holy, where did you wait tables at? So I waited tables mainly at this chain restaurant in Houston. That was huge. It was the Pappas Brothers and it was Pappas Seafood. Okay. And I did that for years. Who are the Pappas Brothers? Should we know them? They're a well known family in the Houston. Everyone knows them. Houston Village. If you talked to a lot of people that went to Houston or lived in Houston, most people have worked at a Pappas sometime in their life. Okay, I got you. So I did that for on and off for years. Man. And how long did you strip for? Barely any time. It was like maybe for three months

on the weekends. And I had an intervention. Because my parents found out all about all of this and drugs and alcohol. And so I had an intervention. And then I lived in England for a little while. Really? Cambridge. Huh? Wait, is that what they sent you to like? Well, my parents, I had friends that were in rehab and it just didn't work. And they were like, they were like, we don't, you know, like we thought maybe if a change of location, which I find out later, because I moved to England and then drinking age was 18. Yeah. So I was drinking. Yeah. Okay. Right on the regular. So I feel, I feel like my alcoholism like kicked up a notch. So you get, there's an intervention. They say you went to rehab. Yeah. No, I didn't go to rehab. Oh, you didn't go to rehab. I moved to

England to drink under age. Was that a part of the plan to get you sober though? Your parents are like, how about a change of scenery? Yeah, I think we were thinking like, oh, maybe it's just like the people I was hanging out with. And I was kind of stuck that maybe changing something would be different, but it never did. And who did you know anybody in England? I had my mom's from England. And so she had a cousin that still live there. And so I lived with him and his wife. And it was about three or four months. And then I came back to the States again, and then I just drank and went to college and dropped out and waited tables for 10 years while doing stand up. Oh, that was my life for 10 years in Houston. Yeah. Damn. That's a fucking

tail. Yeah. Yeah. But then it just seemed like the same thing over and over again for 10 years. But like, you know, some extreme highs and lows. Yeah, you just get on that wheel and you're just like, yeah, we're drinking, we're working, we're doing comedy, drinking, working, doing comedy. Were you a good student in high school? I was moderate. I didn't apply myself. I think I'm a better student now than because I'm going back to I'm not I'm doing online college. What? Yeah. Where at? What site or what's what site? That's the football team over there this year. What site? Well, what the I don't know. Well, I get accepted to Southern New Hampshire University, but I think if you just send

I see that on the subway. Yeah, I'm just kidding. I'm trying to get a basic degree, but I'm doing online another online course of Sophia learning and you can get all your bullshit credits out of the way with like saving yourself like $16,000. So I'm doing that. That's awesome though. Do you remember what you got in your SATs? I don't want to talk about it. It's a sore subject on me on that one because I feel like I should have gotten a higher number and I've told a few people and they're like, that's not good. We've had some low ones. Would you like to know what I got? Mine was 980 and I took it twice. I got an 870. Okay. And I don't think I'm stupid and I took AP and honors classes. She's really upset about this. I am because

I think testing is very awful to do to people. Okay. And I don't think it matters in the real world because in the real world, no one gives a shit if you're smart. They just want you to show up and be nice and be dependable. Of course. I agree. And you can learn most of your skills on the job. I think college is kind of bullshit to be honest. Dude, I fucking love family. Yeah, I would know when. It's debt. Yeah. You're putting yourself an extreme amount of debt and you're going to a workforce. It's not even, they pay, like I would do, I'll temp at a job and I'm a receptionist and I'll look at the requirements and they want you to have four years like a degree and then experience and all you're doing is letting in people,

they're grub hub. Yeah. And it pays like 1750 an hour. That's so mean. I know. That should not be a requirement for that job. I feel like they thought that like that would weed out certain riffraff, but it really doesn't. No, it doesn't. Even college kids are bullshit. Yeah. I knew plenty of dirtbags at school. Definitely. Tell you that. So you did that for 10 years and then when did you move to New York City? I moved to New York when I was a ripe age of 30. Okay. 2008. And then I got sober 2009 and then everything's been dreamy since. Yeah. Unbelievable. That is a dude. You live a thousand lives. Wild web. How mad was your dad when he found out you were a stripper? And how did they find out? My brother and sister in law told cause I talked to them openly about

stuff. And then I think that was the line that they're like, there was a Thanksgiving that I also showed up to just out of my goddamn mind. Like I thought I was playing it cool. Yeah. I've been there. And you're never playing it cool. No. Your underwear is on your head. Yeah. Trying to fucking blend in. Oh, it's awful. I mean, I can I probably own a men's to that Thanksgiving. Yeah. I recently had a waitress wait tables and I was like, I know where you're at right now. I was there for 10 years. She's like coming in hot like how's everyone because you would overcome. Yeah. You like try to talk more to be like, I swear to God, I'm fine. Yeah. Weird to hear. Yeah. Yeah. We spotted that one time we were in Atlantic City and this waitress was

clearly on meth. Yeah. Clearly. Oh, yeah. They're acting like nothing's wrong and just like making it worse. Yeah. I had a buddy that was like really bad on drugs and every time you could tell you you'd keep getting your car to go. How's your day? You had a good day. We don't talk like that, dude. I've never asked you how your day was. Get the fuck out of my car. Oh, man. That's fucking funny. All right. Let's do a little are you garden. Let's get into it because let's let's do the Sarah now. Okay. Let's see where we stand up. Okay. How do you feel about milk with dinner? I don't I don't drink milk with dinner because it's not refreshing beverage, but thank you. I drink it nonstop throughout the day. I'm fine with that.

Sarah, tell them what you tell them what we've discussed. What do you like to have? He prefaced this. He goes, you want to know? He goes, I teach you stretch. You want to know what she doesn't save it. What do you like to have once a day? Throughout the day, I have a carton of heavy cream and I drink straight out of it. Oh, what? That just happened. I also do this. She really likes white Russian. What the fuck? I also do this. Well, mind you, I got involved in keto. Is that healthy? That can't be healthy. I don't know, but it's good. It's so good. I would tell a doctor that you do that and see what

they say. It's I know. Well, here's another dessert I like. It's I put another dessert. That's not a dessert. A carton of half and half isn't dessert. Technically, you whip that. You got whipped cream. Yes. I blend it with two tablespoons of, so it's like this much of Philadelphia cream cheese and I put strawberry in it and it's my milkshake and I call it my fat fuck dessert. Wait, I like the name. This is what you do with the heavy cream? Yeah. I haven't done it in a while because I've kind of gone off keto, so I feel like it's bad to do eating carbs and then also having my fat fuck dessert. Do you put sugar in it? I put maybe a little bit of stevia or whatever it is. With cream cheese.

Yeah. It's like a cheesecake milkshake. That's what I'm drinking as my snack. That's awesome. I'm trying that tonight. No, don't try it. I don't care. You're hanging on by a thread. I'm doing it, man. I signed a year lease. Don't do it. I gotta try it. No. They're called fat bombs. Have you found that recipe? That is a recipe. That is a recipe. I thought you just did it at home. No, but I do. But I mean, I thought you figured it out. You're like, Oh, I got to stick it. I got some half and half in the thing in Philadelphia. Let's get it out. That's a little different then. Okay. That is a keto. Okay. I thought you just were like, I really like these two things. But I love it so much. I one time brought it into the

bathroom with me while I showered and drank from it, and then I spilled it all over the bathroom, and I felt like such a fat piece of shit that I spilled my milkshake in the shower. Stop calling it a milkshake, please. Like for real, stop calling it a milkshake. That's insane. It is a milkshake. That's crazy. Not with cream cheese in it. It's not. No. At Katz's Deli in Houston, they have a dessert that they put a whole slice of cheesecake in the milkshake, and it's a cheesecake milkshake. But it's a milkshake to begin with and a piece of actual cheesecake, not just two of those raw ingredients. It's so good. Can I say this? I've always thought something similar because sometimes if I get like say I'm eating cheesecake out of a

bowl, okay, which I do. And I do this with ice cream too. I'll take like, you know, hard ice cream and I'll whip it up. Yeah, like dad used to do that. But I do that with cheesecake. And I'm always thinking they should make like a cheesecake pudding. Why aren't because you put whipped cream on top of cheesecake every now and then too. So it is kind of like the same thing, but just more of it. Yeah, anything whipped up. Strawberry's cream cheese and heavy cream. Oh, I love it. Okay, love it. Make a mental note. So I don't drink milk with my meal, but I will have it as a meal. Okay, I'm fine with that. I'm a stickler for, he has it with like pasta and like a chicken parm, which is fucking insane to me. That is weird. But a lot of people do it. I don't know why,

but it is weird. Here's another weird thing that I think. Your main line in cream cheese, that's weird. I can't have a meatball and a glass of fucking milk. Have you ever wondered why you eat ketchup with your french fries, but not a big potato? Oh, that's pretty. Yeah, I do. Probably the deep fry. It's the deep fry. Yeah, probably the oils. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll put a little, little ketchup on my potato. Okay. Not shocking. Yeah. And cream and sour cream. Uh, sour cream is great. Big fan. Love sour cream. Big, big, famous sour. We just did we made tacos the other night and fucking throwing some sour cream on there. Fucking good. Yeah. Yeah. Sour cream is great. They always make you bite in a huge tub and you're

like, I just want a little bit of it. It's a commitment. Brexstones. Yeah. That's the way to go. Okay. Wow. I got one. Good. We're on the, we're on food. When was the last time you had fish sticks? It's been a while. Okay. Probably not when I, since I, once I quit drinking, I think I've stopped doing fish sticks. It's an outlier situation. Sure. Okay. Good. Good. Good. That's the right answer. But I love fish sticks. Really? Oh, I love fish and chips. If I'm going to go to a pub, I go and put. I mean, you're not, not frozen. You're not like putting frozen fish sticks in the microwave. But they're not bad because I get the, I get ketchup. Oh, I get Gordon's fish fillets every once in a while. That's a little different. Gordon. That's, I mean, that's a fillet. That's,

that's all right. That's, there's a little time and there's a little fucking prep to that. You know what I mean? He's out there on the high seas. Yeah. Getting it done for his family. I trust the Gordon's fishermen. You know what I mean? When you go to the grocery store, will you, will you take the first one off the shelf, whatever it is, or do you go to the one behind it and take the second one from, from, from the shelf? I take the first one. You take the four, even with milk, if you go by milk, you take the first one off the rack. Well, with heavy cream, the expiration date lasts longer. So you don't only have, it doesn't matter to me. See, I'm trash. So I always think that the, the good ones are in the back. Okay. Yeah. So I go deep, especially if it's an open,

if it's an open, um, like dairy case, like cooler, I feel like the ones on the outside aren't as cold as the ones in the back, especially waters. And that's the same with waters. Yeah. In coat, sodas and stuff like that. Yeah. But I feel like that's very borderline conspiracy theory. Sure. That's crazy. Yeah. I won't even take like the first peanut butter or anything. Yeah, I'll never. I make sure it's sealed too. Yeah. I don't want to get home. There'd be fucking somebody had their 30 index fingers in my bean butter. Shout out to Seinfeld. Um, do you currently have on matching socks? Yeah, I do, but I just bought them. I have a lot of holes in my socks. Nice. Yeah. I seldom wear matching socks, but I'm starting to throw out the holes. I'm like, why am I holding on to this?

That was the thing I started doing too. I'm like, I'm like, I can't leave the house. Yeah. I'm already feeling the bottom of my, the sole of my shoe. Yeah. Hmm. Okay. Okay. Have you ever waited in line to meet a celebrity? Not recently. No, please tell. I've, I remember one time I was really into Tori Amos in the early late nineties, early 2000s, and she does meet and greets before a concert and I went. Okay. That's all right. Yes. Yeah, nothing wrong with that. Tori Amos is all right. I'll give you that. Have you ever bought or sold anything on Craigslist? No, but I'm doing Poshmark now. What's that? My girl does that. It's, uh, it's a reselling online thing, but I'm running into some dilemmas that I feel like it might not be worth it. People don't want socks with

holes in them. It's expensive too. I sold a denim jacket and then for $15 and my printer stopped working. And of course, and I had to go to FedEx, Kinko, and it cost me $10 to get on to their computer and then print. And then I was like, Oh, great. I just made a $2 profit doing two hours worth of work. Yeah. And I still haven't heard from the girl that bought it. And so I haven't gotten the money yet. Oh, what the fuck? Now you're out. We said 76 if you're listening right now. We're looking for you. Yeah. Wait, click that box delivered, please. Wait, don't you? Oh, it has to be delivered. It has, it says shipped. I've got a tracking number, but it hasn't, she hasn't clicked that she's gone. Could she claim that it was stolen from her house? How does that

work? She could, but I just reached out to her and she still hasn't replied to me. Oh, that bitch. Yeah. What the fuck, man? I'll get you, Lisa. We'll get you. We'll get you. Currently anything in the storage unit? No, surprise. Actually, I don't like, I just got rid of the last thing. Okay. Yeah. Have you ever participated in the activity known as rope swinging? What is that? Are you like swinging to the, let go into the water down at the river? No, we, we, I did that growing up though. Okay. Yeah. Into like the, into the manmade lake. There was another San Jacinto River. Sounded like she said it like we knew where it was going to be. The San Jack. Well,

there were, there were some famous battles along the San Jack of Sam Houston and maybe like the Mexican army. Okay. Yeah. I don't know. Sam Houston was going to be the, one of the presidents of the United States. Yeah. Sounds like such a made up guy. Sam Houston? Joe Kansas. Yeah. John Pennsylvania. On that note, did you ever get pulled behind a boat in a raft? Yeah. Every summer in Maine. Yeah. It's good fun. It is pretty good fun. Yeah. Easily get killed doing that though. No. What? I almost got killed in the Skookle River doing it because they took a hard turn and I went flying. Was I hit on the wake? Yeah. It's when

that whoever's doing the boat will fuck with you and try to get you on the way. Yeah. I thought I was dead for sure. Yeah. You do not look cool. You're like a flying starfish. Yeah. I was in Columbia and I was drinking and they came by on the boat with like, hey wakeboarding. I used to like snowboard and skate and so I'm like, oh, I'm like, maybe, you know, I could do that. Yeah. And like six beers later, they came back around. I'm like, I could, I was even more confident. I'm like, I for sure could do that. And then six more, they came back around. I'm like, I'm fucking doing it. 30 beers. No English. And they're just fucking. I was, I was getting drunk back like Kevin Costner in Waterworld, but I was just like fucking gargling and fucking. I got

fucked up. Everybody's on the beach is like, stand up. I'm like, I'm fucking trying dude. Any photographs of you on a roller coaster? Yes. Okay. Yeah. Framed. Trash. Oh, there you go. I know it. Is it currently hanging in your apartment? Yes. Who's in the photograph? Joe and I, we go to a, it's in Maine, Ocean Grove or Orange Grove or something. It's a well known like beach amusement park amusement park. Yeah. Sounds real trashy when it's the trashier move is taking a picture on your phone of the thing. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's the one you pay for it. Yeah. We did that at a Disney brunch in Hawaii. You can get your picture taken with the with like the characters, but they're taking like, you know, like expensive photos. But like, you know,

meanwhile, my, you know, mother-in-law or whatever standing behind just clicking pictures away. Yeah. When they come on the table, like, like, you know, showing us the photo book of like $45. So they're like, what are you fucking nuts? We got it. We got a knife on. We're good. Yeah. Take a hike. Wow. All right. I got one back in your drinking days. Have you ever checked into a hotel and brought your own cooler? No, but I would, you know, we bring drinks. Yeah. I was at Mohegan Sun this weekend. And I mean, that that everybody in line had a fucking igloo cooler that they were telling. Drinking in the hotel room is awesome now. Yeah. Really, you really save money. Big thing. Everybody's just sitting. There's like eight people sitting on the beds because there's nowhere

to go. You're all just like lined up. We did a lot of that. The other, here's the thing that I always find. I remember smoking pot in a hotel room and I can't do it because I feel like I might as well just smoke crack in the hotel room. Yeah. It feels so similar to me. It is. Yeah. It's a fine line. So gross. It changes the aura of the room too. What am I doing? Yeah. You feel like you are a drug addict. Yeah. Any drugs in a hotel room, you're like, is this a bottom? Yeah. It's never a top. Yeah. It's never. You're never like, I'm fucking doing really good right now. It's a bottom if you get busted. That's always my biggest fear is getting busted in a hotel room in some precarious situation. Yes. Like hotel security out there. Yeah, it's mortifying. Yeah. Scary business. What's your

middle name? I don't have one. Really? Wow. That's garbage right there. Okay. My wife doesn't have one either. You don't have a middle name. Well, my parents, parents were like, you're, our last name is so unusual in this part of the world that they were like, didn't feel like we needed one. And then also they hate their middle names that they were like, we're not gonna go through that. Wow. Are you Italian? You're Italian, right? No, a Scottish. Totemash? Scottish English. Okay. Yeah. Your dad's not, your dad's from the US though, right? No, he's, he's several generations South African, but also Scottish English. He's also kind of from the same area as my mom's family. So your dad's South African, your mom is from England. Yeah. Like not off the boat,

they have the accent and everything. Yes. Were you born here? No, I was born in South Africa, but I grew up in Texas for most of my life. Wow. Yeah. Born in South Africa. I'm African American. Yeah. There we go. See, that's classy. You're born in South Africa. Yeah. Then you really got to use that and you guys trashed it up real quick. What are you talking about? Dude, Mercedes, in-ground pool. Yeah. Next to a golf course. The Totemashes were fucking living in the 90s. Like a Ugandan warlord. Yeah. No middle name. Wow. Is the middle name Trashy? I think not having one is, I don't think so. I would say. It depends on the middle name. Some middle names actually can depreciate your full name sometimes. True. What's your middle name? I'm Kevin James

Patrick Ryan. Oh yeah, Kevin James Patrick Ryan. That's very Irish. Irish. Yeah. Well, I ain't Polish. Yeah. It is garbage though. That's what I'm saying. It's garbage to be like, to have like, to think like your middle name matters first of all is garbage to me, to think it has any meaning of like. Well, if it's like something. To have pride behind it is, it's just mish-mish-marted. If like your middle name was Buford or something like that, that would be trash. What's yours? William. Henry William Foley II. Billy. Yeah, Billy. It can't be the second. Is your dad Henry? Your junior. No, my grandfather's Henry William Foley. So I'm the second. Oh, and then your dad's junior. And there's also nothing trashier than a

fucking real piece of trash claiming you're a second. He doesn't have the same name. Yeah. He doesn't have the same name. Does that not make me a second? I don't know. I forget how that works, but I think it's weird. Like, it's not, if it's not your name, then no, you're not a second. Well, let's talk to my estate manager. Yeah, fucking two. All right. There's two Henry Foley's in a mountain to nothing. So you got that going for you. Can you whistle with your fingers? Yes. Yeah. Trashy. Yes. It's when I first saw it, I thought it was such a cool thing. So I got to do, I had to learn how to do it. So did I, the kid that could do that with his fucking cool as shit. Yeah. I have to use two fingers. I can't do the wait. What do you

how do you do it? Oh, that's life. That's lifeguard status. Yeah. That's bring it in. Bring it in. There's a rip time. I thought it was so cool. It is cool. It's trashy. Yeah. I mean, yeah. The Queen of England is a whistle with their fingers. Yeah. People in Cambridge aren't doing right. Oh, God. Holy shit. Whoa. I did not know that. I got one from Patreon. This is from Tyler P. Shout out to Tyler P and the Patreon gang. Have you consistently eaten meals out of a pot or a pan that you've cooked in? Oh, yeah. Savin' dishes. One last dish to do. Matt's trash. I call it rustic. I call it garbage. It's called family style. It's called I am trash. Do you, if we make pasta or something like that, and like, you know, then we combine the sauce, after when we're done,

we'll combine the sauce and the pasta together in one pot. We then, we keep that pot and just put it in the fridge. Same. Yeah. And then break it out and put it on the stove and heat it up again. No, no. I mean, yeah, you can do that. What do you do? We put it in another container, Tupperware or some sort of proper storage container for food. That's an extra dish. Yeah, fuck that. I hate. We don't have dishwashers. I just got it. You did. Holy shit. Doing all right. I got the lease on this place. You didn't, Henry doesn't know that. You held that in. I don't share a lot of my personal life with Henry. Wow. Especially as of recent months. I didn't know you had that kind of cake. I'm doing all right. You know? Is this cashmere?

This guy's got a fucking dishwasher. Damn. It's a small one and it's in my bedroom, but still. We dump them in the pool, you know what I mean? It's a tiny one, so it doesn't fit everything, you know, but I mean, pots and pans, you still got to do with your hands. Those things in New York apartments, man, can really throw you off. I'm just all my appliances are my kitchen small, but all my appliances are full size. When you see people that have like the little fridge or the little stove, you're like, what are you doing? Those things freak me out. How do you make meals for the week after meal prep? Because I was when I was working a day job because if you're living in the city, you'll spend 10 to $15 a day on meals. You also had one of the funniest

tweets I think I've ever, it was years ago. You're like, I have a $100 a day problem in New York or something. Oh yeah. It's like a cocaine problem. You leave the house and it's just like, well, there's a hundo. Yeah. You detach yourself from money here. Easily. Easily. A salad's like, you know, 18 bucks in midtown. Awful. Let me ask you this. Atrocious. Is there anything you wouldn't bring into the office as lunch? Like, do you feel like there's a lot, would you bring? People don't bring, you can't bring fish. No. The new thing I found out, don't reheat cauliflower in the microwave. Oh, real stingy. Yeah, that's no bueno. That's because you're like, it's a vegetable and you think it smells like wrestler fart. Oh my God, it's the worst. Because we always complain

about people that bring food into the green room when you're on a show. I'm a big, I won't, I don't like eating, I don't even, I would never take, I didn't even take like a lunch to school. I was like very weird about it and people come in, especially comics that aren't even like on the show. The one kid came in and started eating fucking tuna fish. I was like, dude, we're gonna, we're gonna fight. Ready to vomit. There's like also another rule in the green room is you don't shit in the bathroom. And that's bringing tuna fish in is on par with that. Yes, yes, yes. All right, since we're on the, what was the last dinner you cooked? Oh my God. What was it? When was it? That's so hard. It's so funny because like nowadays I'm like,

I can't even remember what I did the day before. I've been eating out so much late or like doing sushi at the grocery store. That's big. It's cheaper than it's good to me. And they got the guy that rolls. I like it when it's a little cold as well. Yeah. Super market. You do catch one every once in a while with a tune is like straight brown. Yeah. Sushi chef must be sick today. I don't, the ones by me, they, they're there and they, they're fucking fresh. We got that. You know, that's all I think most grocery stores. What I usually, what I usually do, like a snack I'm doing like a quesadilla or I've been roasting chicken and then saving the chicken stock and I'll put it in with ramen. I flip ramen now. I'm a ramen flipper. Wait a minute. Hold on. You'll

roast a chicken. Roast a chicken. I use as much as the meat as I can. Then I put that in the slow cooker and then I put in vegetables that scraps that I've been saving over the months in the freezer. I throw that in, make a stock. Sometimes I take the meat out and maybe do a chicken salad with it. Okay. This is meal price. This is chicken you can stretch forever. And then I take the chicken stock and I, a lot of the times instead of using that powder packet in the ramen noodles, I'll use the chicken stock with garlic and sesame oil and I'll put my, I'll boil my ramen in the chicken stock with that stuff and then I'll cut some spring onions and then throw in some sesame seeds and I call it ramen flipping, where you take the shitty product and you make it fancy.

It sounds classy. It's fun. The way you're saying it, it's just, you're saying it with like, you're saying it like, you know, the other shoe is going to drop them. We're going to be like, this is, also you said you can stretch your chicken for a while. That's pretty bad. Yeah. That's like Appalachian, depression. It's like Hooverville shit right there. I'm all about saving money. For a moment, I was making my own ricotta cheese. How do you do that? You take milk that's maybe a few days expired, you boil it, you boil it, you squeeze the lemon and then I would drink, I take an old shirt and I, that's clean because I don't have cheesecloth and I put it over a tub. Oh, you're fucking trash. Sarah, what the fuck? Because you're like, I just made cheese out of an expired

product. What does Joe say? Joe doesn't eat anything I make. I don't fucking blame him. You're making it in the bathtub with old dirty laundry. Do you wear the shirt again? No, no, no, no. She's not an animal, Holly. She's got it on. There's cheese stains all over it. Wait, why wouldn't you just buy cheesecloth? That's just not like readily available. It's annoying to go to the grocery store. They're in every grocery store. Are they real? Yes, they really are. I did not know that. You can get them pretty much anyway. You're like David Putty. You're cooking in the shower. I know. What the fuck? It's Kramer. Well, you got a Clarkman. I like trying to save money. I can get kind of cheap and stuff like that.

Making cheese with old milk and a fucking Springsteen t-shirt. But I told Todd Barry that he's like, you do know that you can get ricotta cheese for $1.80. Yeah, it's a 2.19 at the nice place. I just picture that Todd Barry was saying that. Hey, you do know that you can get ricotta cheese at the store. Holy shit. Save yourself eight hours. Yeah, really. Not to gross everybody out. I mean, that is fucking insane. Yeah, I haven't done it in a while, though, just because after talking to Todd Barry, and I was like, it does. You're right. I will save myself eight hours. But it is satisfying to take like, I can take day old bread and I like making bread pudding or not day old, but expired bread and make bread pudding with it. That's great.

That's way different. You're making cheese in your bathroom. It's in the kitchen, but I use the shirt. You said tub. No, I take a, like a Tupperware tub. Okay. I thought you were in the shower. See? All right. It still doesn't make it any better. What the fuck are we? She's using old milk and tea. I drink my milkshakes in the shower. Wow. Well, here's the thing. New York is so expensive that it backs me in a corner. You can save two bucks elsewhere. What else do you make? Jump the turnstile or something. That's about it. That's what kind of stretching I'll do. That's a big jump, though. Yeah. Like to not, to not cut any other corners and then be like, you know what? Let's make our own ricotta cheese. So your husband won't eat that. He just loves takeout and he won't.

Well, he was trash. We had him on. If you haven't watched that, go watch Joe's list. Yeah. And just, just where he, he won't eat stuff that's like leftovers that have been in the fridge for a day where I can, I'll eat it like maybe five days later. I worked in food and beverage for so long. There's so many things that are actually last longer than you think they are. You can eat things beyond their exp. It's just a mild suggestion. Baby in a Houston subdivision. Yeah. Well, depends on what village you're in. Wow. Let me ask this, since you mentioned the bathroom, how do you feel about brushing your teeth in the shower? I haven't done that. Okay. No, I don't know why. She's got salami. I got to put your provolone in there.

Yeah, I won't do that. I won't. Yeah, I've been brushing my teeth in the shower. That's like a hung, hangover thing. Yeah. I feel like like a time saver so you can get to work on time. If I brush my teeth in the shower while sitting down, like that kind of stuff, like in solid data, like sitting down in the shower, like, because you're just so hungover that you can't stand up. You'll sit in the tub with the, that's a bottom right there. Yeah. The cold water does feel nice though. You're fully dressed. Oh yeah. Smell the smoke coming off. It's a worse smell like an ashtray. I do because it feels refreshing to brush your teeth in the shower. I don't know why. Like the water's hitting you. You're all clean. Your mouth's clean.

Yeah. It's good. I will open my mouth and have the shower head do a pre-wash. Yeah. And then I brush it out. Kind of does the heavy lifting. Yeah. Then you go in and touch it up. Then I touch it up. Yeah, I like it. I'm not opposed to that. All right. This is another Patreon one. This is from, their name is, Hey Kippy and Foley all dressed up, all grown out and doing the town. I appreciate that. We love you. Yeah. This is, have you, they said liberated, but have you ever stolen toilet paper from a public toilet to save a few pennies? Yeah. Joe and I have a song called You don't have to buy toilet paper. You can steal it from the hotel. We are garbage. You're like a garbage Bonnie and Clyde. Terrorizing the country. Quick at the

Bibles. Yeah. I don't, well, it's not even a money thing. I just don't think about getting toilet paper when I'm at the grocery store, but if I'm at a hotel, I'm like, sweet. And that's your role, put it in the suitcase. This is pretty big because we just, so for the first episode of Patreon, we called our moms and played the game with both of our moms to find out who was trash here. Both trash. Both trash. My mom, my mom, my mom hedged out a bitch. You got a little political, it was the thing. Do you, what else? Foley's mom steals everything from the hotel. What else do you take? The tissues, the soaps. I have the soaps and I love them and I have separate baskets in our linen closet. And I put them in my shampoos and my conditioners and bars of soap.

I love it too. The western, especially if anybody ever goes to a western, they get this soap that it smells so good. Yeah. It's awesome. Some of them have high end products. Yeah. Like bliss spa products. It's nice. Yeah. No, no. It's trash. I know. Yeah. Yeah. I like how she admitted that, but then falls on the homemade ricotta cheese. She's like, no, that is trash, but I'm putting my foot down on making my own dairy products. Yeah. I feel like cheese mongering is kind of fast. That's a lost art. You know what I mean? Yeah. The cheese monger. That's the title of the episode. Don't open the, don't open the, don't open the closet. I got Parmesan working. Okay.

Leave the lights off. It's like a, it's like a dark room. Like for photographs, there's a red light in there. Yeah. Holy shit. I love this fucking episode. Holy fuck. Wow. Were you a Sherbert family growing up? No. Really? No. The dad liked to spend a gauge. What's your favorite candy bar? I think I like Snickers. Classy ants. Right up the middle. Number one answer right there. Number one candy bar across the world, the Snickers bar. I like to pretend they're energy bars. I did that the other day when I was looking for a parking, I was so fucking, I was hungry and just exhausted and I sent my wife and I'm like, you got to go get me a Snickers and I bet me up and we found a spot like two blocks later.

It's a good luck charm. I tell you what, when you're hungry, crushing the Snickies. Oh, that hungry, why, hungry, why, wait, or you're getting hungry or like you're not at yourself, that camp, that marketing campaign, I bought hook, line and fucking sinker. Nailed it. Anything with Danny DeVito. Come on. I mean, who cares? All right. I got another one. What's a trashy candy bar? Like three musketeers. 100 grand. I don't like three musketeers. A payday, I think would be garbage. Okay. Charleston chew, that would be trash. Okay. Unless you put them in the freezer. Mounds, hit the bricks. I like a mounds. I'm a coconut. I like a coconut. Yeah, a big coconut guy. Why isn't it, to me, coconut feels classy to me. Yeah, it's got almonds. Talking

about it. With dark chocolate. That's class, dark chocolate is classy. Dark chocolate is classy. I would say the classiest bar would just be like the nice imported chocolate. Oh, sure, sure. Like a lint bar, but the touch of sea salt. Shout out to them. They know that touch of sea salt is something else. Spicy pepper. Oh, or like the twist of orange or something. Yeah. I like the lint. I'm done with G.R. Deli because I thought they were an Italian company. I find out they're fucking in Oakland. That's crazy. Fucking bullshit. It's like Haagen Dazs. You know, Haagen Dazs isn't European. Just a made up name. I didn't know that. Sriracha is the same way. It's not like made in Asia or anything like that. I think it is. No, I think it's an American thing in that they put all the

branding to make it look like it's an Asian thing. Sounds like bitches. They get you coming and going. They're trying to go authentic. I know. Well, Lacroix is like that, too. I don't think they always have French sounding names, but it's like an American company. Yeah, that I kind of know. Yeah. Yeah. We're getting bamboozled. We are getting bamboozled. We don't see it coming at all. I got one. What was the pet situation in the Toramachi house growing up? Oh boy. We had a lot. We had several. We had birds. Hold on. I got a follow up on the bird. Were they loose birds or cage birds? No cage birds. That's better than loose birds. You shouldn't have birds, but we were cat people because they were the easiest to take care of. But we had one dog

growing up and my parents had dogs when they didn't have kids and that was but then we didn't have them. We had kids because I think it was too much work for them. Okay. We had a rabbit and we hated it. We had lots of hamsters. Do you have a guinea pig? I think we did. We had several because they only last about six months. People are like, no, Sarah, they lost. They have like a life. It's the same as humans. Yeah. They're all stuck in the walls. They get repoed. Well, we had a pet cemetery for sure. In the backyard. There's a couple of rusties in my backyard and a patch as well. Yeah. Did you put like a cross in there? We know because we're not religious, but we have little like garden stuff to like to not like it. Yeah. No, I'm a boreal type of plant holder.

Wait, what's a couple hamsters? What's a lot of hamsters? I think one a year sounds right. It's never multiple at a time. No, I don't think never, not multiple at a time. Always an ongoing hamster. Do they have the same name? Was it like, you know, oh, that's bad. Hambo. Hamster with Rambo. That's pretty good. I like that. It always would bite when you had to clean the cage. He knew he was about to get whacked. Yeah. He knew he didn't have a lot of time left. And we would have to put rocks on top because they would always try to escape off of the water. Yeah, they clamped the bottle. Yeah, of course. Fuck it wants to get out. What do you mean? Get over to George's house. It would be like this on the top, like trying to open with his shoulders.

Yeah. Dude. You could see between the ceiling or the door part of it and the water thing, he'd be on top and just like trying to bust his shoulders. It was solid. He was ready to get the fuck out. Holy shit, man. That is fucking something else. Did you guys ever hide money in odd places in the house? Was that ever a thing? No, but I had a friend that we found his parents stash and then he took that money and bought bathing suits for his girlfriend at Gadzooks. You know that Gadzooks. Oh, that guy's trash. I just always love thinking like you. How many bathing suits? Well, how much money we talking? Well, it was a wall of bathing suits. They had every spring to summer and I just remember that was the thing to do is buy your girlfriend a

bathing suit. What? In Texas. That's what that's rivers. That's river people shit. You see that new two piece on Charlie? You might be a river person. Paid for that with frozen $5 bills. I just remember watching him being like this. Just major judgment coming out of my head of You're using that money to buy a bathing suit. I don't know. My uncle was redoing his basement and he opened up the walls and there's five grand in there. Was it wrapped in tin foil? Because that seems to be a common thing to wrap your what? Why are they doing that? It was like they bought it off a guy who had lived there for like 90 like, you know, he had the house forever. Yeah. And he just like hid them up like he had five grand. Yeah, people didn't trust banks and

like the 40s and 50s because of his oppression. Yeah. And then he died. I guess he didn't tell the wife and then the wife lived for another 50 years or whatever and then she sold it to my uncle and he redid the basement after living there for like five or six years. That's a score. That is sweet. Did they take those old bills though? I don't think so. They don't just see it, of course. All right. Money, money. Start fucking punching holes in your wall. Start punching holes in these walls. Yeah. Wow. What a moment of discovery. We're unpacking a lot. I think I got here as they said. I'm enjoying these questions because it's also I in the time I grew up is like kind of a lot of people are trash even though they had money. Yeah. Yeah. That was the same

with me. We were like first generation to get money and you're just trash. Yeah. You don't know how to spend it. You don't know how to save it. You think you're going to make it like that for all those, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Same thing. It's interesting. This is like a two or three part question. Do you currently have a coin jar at your house? Yeah. What is the actual container that you put it in? It's a Glen Levitt container. Okay. Glen Levitt. How big is that? Like the cylinder. Yeah. Oh, okay. The outside. Drop it. It's not too bad. The metal box. Okay. Not the bottle. Yeah. And when was the last time you cashed it in? I cashed it in. It's actually like Joe's collection of money and I counted it last year because I was trying to avoid my phone and I was

like, I know this is a way to not. So I was like, I'll take the opportunity to count all the, and I think there was close to like several hundred dollars in there. That ain't too jammy. Did you take it to the CoinStar machine? No, because at the time, they take a percentage and then I've had people that had issues with the CoinStar machine. So I bought the rolls and I count them myself. Yeah. You roll the money? I roll the money. CoinStar takes like 8%. Yeah. Who has, what issues? I have issues with that. I don't like going to an ATM that does, that's not my bank because of the bank charges. Yeah. I don't like giving my money to people that have nothing to do with it. Well, they're supplying you with the CoinStar machine. That

is true. They should get to what their beak a little bit. I had eight hours to kill by not being on my phone. So I had, it was a project. That's a lot of coins. Yeah. It was a lot. I could never do that. It was, it was quite tedious, but it was satisfying when I got counted out. Yeah. It's an accomplishment. That paper smells weird to me. It smells like magic. You smell like pennies for the rest of the day. Yeah. Then you're like hairs landing in the, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're human dangers getting on the money. We used to do it as kids. We fucking love doing it. We'd wait till the big like Folgers can got full and then dump that thing out. And the best was trying to fight old coins. Do you remember

that? Yeah. Yeah. You'd be like, oh, this one's from, but like, cause they want the pennies were different. They said like one cent on the back or whatever. Yeah. Find them one of those, man. That was you were the fucking king of the castle for the day. How much are they worth? I don't know. I mean, yeah, we never fucking did anything with them. Hmm. I think that's it for me. I got a wasn't there a three-parter? Yeah. You said it was three. Oh, yeah. What is, do you have one? What is it? And when was the last one? Oh, one was awesome. Okay. Did you ask? Oh, she asked? Yeah. I think I answered all three. Did you have any? She said she rolled them. Did you ever have any relatives that lived with you? I know you live with relatives. I think that's a little bit different.

No, because we were the first generation of, okay, all watches that lived here. So we'd make, might have my grandmother stay with us for a month, but she didn't know what that was. That's nothing. That's okay. Yeah. That's good. You can have grandma stay. What about, what do you keep your ketchup? Do you keep it in the refrigerator to keep it in the cabinet? I've always kept it in the refrigerator. Okay. All right. But I think Joe's family is a cabinet family because it makes it warm. Yeah. Well, you don't want it cold on hot food. That's, but if you, I working in food and beverage, you get bubbles in it and it goes vinegary or off. Yeah, then the ketchup bottle blows up. Yeah. What about your butter? What do you guys keep that on the counter and the refrigerator?

In the fridge, but I was doing it French style on the counter. Which we're finding out is the, I like French style. That sounds nice. That is the proper way to do it. It is. What style is the making cheese at home? It's rustic. I like how she just makes everything rustic. You can rebrand anything and everything. Man. Yeah. Kevin, I mean, 105%. Garbage. Trash. I mean, there's no, there's no way around it. I mean, making your own ricotta cheese with expired milk and an old t-shirt might be the most insane answer we've ever had. That's so weird. I love milk. I love all dairy. I can't fuck with, with, but I can't smell or go near sour milk at all. I'll vomit everywhere. Oh, yeah. Well, when you eat it as ricotta cheese, it has a chemical reaction and so it doesn't

taste sour. I know, but you're working with it. You're, you take it out. Yeah. Why did you have the bad milk in there to begin with? What happens? You're gone for a little two days. Leave it in there for a year. And you're like, I don't want to throw out a full carton of milk. I've definitely had some in there where it starts to like pop up and expand. I'm like, this thing is going to be a hazard short break. Yeah. I'm like that with lettuce too. How many times are you just throwing away bags of lettuce? Oh, sure. Yeah. Yeah. Spinach is the same. It drives me insane to throw away food. I don't mind it at all. Yeah. Do you ever make things, you ever take two different kinds of leftovers and make something with it?

Yeah. I've combined. Geez. I mix, I mix a little in college. Yeah. A little fusion. Little Chinese, Chinese, Mexican. Holy shit. Yeah, definitely. Sarah told him, our ladies and gentlemen, uh, do you got anything coming up? What do you got cooking? You want to plug this out? This will be out tonight. Tonight. It's tomorrow, into tomorrow. Yeah. Oh, um, check out the at home film festival. It's short films made by comics or creators. And I do it once a month in the next ones this Thursday, November 19th. Awesome. Awesome. On my Instagram. Follow me on Instagram because I want all those followers.

Yeah. You got the Vag podcast. You have the album out the lecture was boy. Yes. One of the best comics in the city. We love you. I love watching. I think you're one of the best joke writers. So funny. No idea how trashy. Well, that's where the humor comes from. At the bottom of the barrel. That has a bunch of golf balls in it. Yeah. Kibby, what do you got? Uh, guys, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes as always, as always for the full video available on YouTube, subscribe there as well. Also, patreon.com slash RU garbage guys. The support we've received so far from going out on our own and launching the Patreon has been fantastic. Uh,

like we said, Foley's, uh, the Cribs edition of Foley's house will be coming out shortly. We're just waiting on the go ahead from fucking Mama Foley to let us get in there. Waiting on the green light. Uh, and then also the next benchmark is 400 and at that, we're going to do, uh, pit my ride with my piece of shit car. Foley's going to, I'm going to hand the keys over to Foley and he's going to get the fucking, I'm going to get to do whatever I want to keep his car. Sure. With the, and I got some, within reason. Okay. We're not like that. I got some. I Oh, well, it's the money's not coming from RU garbage. So it's coming out. You better start

punching holes in your wall, buddy. Gang. I want to add on to what Kippy was saying. Podcast merch.com. We have the store open. We have all our stuff in there. We have the garbaggio T shirts. We have the clean living T shirts. We have hoodies. We have the new milkman T shirts, which the sales haven't been great on them. So if you don't like the milkman, we'll get a couple new designs in there. It's funny. The things that are killing you shooting in the air, they're fucking flying off the shelves. Don't listen to this fat. Just that one, that one designs. I just want to know if the milkman are not aware of it to get in there. Milkman, go in there and get your milkman T shirts. And we also have make a kippy check

everything out. Podcast merch.com. I want to thank our incredible producer and T bone and new fact checker, Toby McMullen. And we will see you guys next time here on RU garbage. We love you. Peace. Peace.