Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Scratching Lotto Tickets w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: February 24, 2022

Kippy & Foley are back with a fun one! Thanks for listening. Love youse guys! Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage https://www.ladderlife....com/GARBAGE https://www.HelloFresh.com/garbabe16 Promo Code: Garabage16 https://www.athleticgreens.com/GARBAGE

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Stop the presses gang got a special announcement the middle-class famous tour is in full effect Get your tickies me the bald one the long hair. We're coming to a city near you Bring the squad out. It's a great way to introduce people to the show. You get to see some stand-up You get to play a little a yg with me in the gui-parino. It's a good time. Hit me up Guys are gonna be in Atlanta Tampa Orlando Pittsburgh Buffalo Detroit Denver Phoenix Salt Lake City Chicago Rose man guys. It's a great time Can't wait to see out there get your tickies now. Yeah Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or
Starting point is 00:00:44 Absolute trash now. Here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast. This is our you garbage Yeah, so little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out they grew to be classy Mm-hmm, don't you just a big old piece of trash? Yep. I'm your host age fully coming at you on a beautiful day down here at Entity's basement. She's upstairs slice the Elio's Rolling rock pony and a percocet. Okay, my co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of our you garbage He is an international businessman. He is not to be trifled with but he's my best pal in the whole world I love them give it up for Kevin James Ryan. Hey, love you too, pal. I'm like cut that
Starting point is 00:01:31 Why I don't know someone ring a bell or something Hey gang, thanks for tuning in as always just make sure you rate review subscribe on iTunes Please all video available on YouTube and as you know those numbers are true roof now more than ever They're true roof shot up to that Timmy D. Bob That kid's got a fucking motor I owns the Internet Same man that kid can do some numbees Kids selling And then obviously I would be an asshole to jerk off a
Starting point is 00:02:05 Fucking bozo if I didn't mention the greatest website of all time Shout out to Al Gore for inventing the internet shout out to Sam Yam Jack Conti Mm-hmm for patreon.com Are you garbage, baby? Check it out get bono bonus episodes of a YG a whole nother podcast good That's by the way is everybody's favorite podcast hard feelings on that ten dollar level And then obviously we do live streams with our top tier patrons the whole nine yards check it out You're talking to patreon. Patreon called me the other day crazy Hahaha
Starting point is 00:02:42 You choose okay Patreon called the kid come on a nice quick shout out to our producer Extraordinaire the magic man makes us all look good T-Bone Mcmuffin this Toby McMullin. What's up, dude? T-Bone friend of mine. Hell yeah a good friend of yours who's got nothing but the vibes are good Mimes are good there has been discussions of a Toby cam By Toby actually is weird enough brought it brought it up She's already got one on only fans, but still
Starting point is 00:03:16 one for the public Yeah, we might do a Toby cam Toby cam all day. Yeah, Toby cam all day. Yeah me got to lose that bear's flag though Yeah, we'll have to do some we'll have to do some read I can't be but I mean I'll let you have the bears flag off-screen, but this is a bird's house all through He doesn't know that's up, but if we start broadcasting a motherfucking Chicago bears He's gonna have some issues with the social security checks just are drying up in the mailbox They don't play down here in South Philly Toby. Is that where we are? I think so. Okay, just check it I don't know sometimes I was blindfolded and brought here. I don't know what's going on
Starting point is 00:03:55 We come in every day like the Batcave I enter through the waterfall down by the stadium Speaking of speaking of crazy I picked up a little bit of another little tidbit it It's a bit. Okay. What did I say? I don't know I picked up another little tidbit From Patty from your mother from my mother. Uh-huh something. I didn't know and no, I know in the broad 45 years Never trust her. I know she's a little squirrely. She's a good kid though makes a Hell of a cut he make a hell of a cutlet. Um, he's listening to this too. So he's looking to walk carefully
Starting point is 00:04:37 This world world famous bluebells shallow fried cuddies shallow fried cuddies shallow fried. Yeah shallow fried finish in the oven finish in the fryer Double finished in the fryer Why I guess they got they got a hot ticket going down there with the lottery in PA. I guess the numbers are up Okay, when the numbers are up everybody get every there's a lot more every dirt bag awful pull out couch Everybody is involved talking about it. Mm-hmm talking to the guy at the fucking how would you but you know? It's only 50 million if the taxes. That's the biggest dirt ball line anytime. It's cooking. So there must be a hot one because
Starting point is 00:05:18 It's our Saturday And she's like Henry. Where do you think can I borrow 10 green? It's for my numbers She said what do you think the luckiest part of the refrigerator is? What yeah to put the magnets all to put this to put the tickets. Oh my god magnet now You can't teach that kind of dirt bag level hold on there is some religion involved in it because there's different saints Oh, I was thinking it was gonna be lab coats and white Oh, I don't know there was different saints in your refrigerator. Why didn't you say something Henry?
Starting point is 00:05:56 There's just over here like an asshole didn't know fucking st. Thomas was in there There's different mass cards with saints on them around around the Around the refrigerator and things are placed. Who's the patron say to scumbags? Is it Patty? Tom Barrage is I don't know what's really going on. Ah And I just discovered this that she puts things around with the different saints took where the good juju is Oh my god something with the kids. She puts it over towards this. I get you I guess on a hot streak
Starting point is 00:06:31 You know, she puts it over with whoever's got the hot hand in the dice game talking about that clackety-clack. Let's go Picture away. No way me. No way me. No way me. So I discovered that and I got a scratcher from her Which I hit five probably not gonna see a dime at that money Wait, so what do you do when you hit five you give it back to her? Yeah, give it back to her Let her let her handle what we do because we're it's PA. Yeah, sure But it was up here. I take it what this is a gentleman's move performed by my stepdad many a year and he still does it He's big on his scratchers. He's a little tricky a real big on the scratchers I'm talking like a couple hundo Christmas morning
Starting point is 00:07:08 What is that film made of because it's like it's fascinating me since I was a child It's it's it's like, you know wax. No, it's like aluminum foil type stuff. It's like a it's like a Metal type there, you know, there's some sort of something in there. She tried to give me a penny, too What I'm a quarter. Well, that's bad luck. You need rid you can't be doing scratchers with a penny I think you use the quarter. I would have been a 5g odds No, I think a quarter is what you do quarters to move. Yeah, of course So you can't be doing a penny do the top result on what is the scratch off film made of on Google is one word? technology
Starting point is 00:07:44 There you go Out of space technology, I don't know how I can't explain this technology I don't know how they write the shamrocks and the cherries underneath that shit. That's what I don't know I come to check on the cherries aren't coming off with the top layer What's the icing made of tell me that? I've never seen a four-leaf clover My my stepdad he operates as like a liaison or the bank really he buys the he buys the ticket off of you Yeah, so if you hit for five or ten or fifteen does he cash checks to
Starting point is 00:08:23 He pulls it get a payday loan from this guy. Everybody adds up what you got to What sorry, let me ask you this he gives these out He gives them all out to everybody and then and then so like if it's Christmas sure I'm his nephew or whatever I come over I hang out here you go buddy. Here's a couple of scratchers for you. I hit He takes them he gives me the money and then he goes in deal. Yeah, that's the fucking That's a one-stop shop right there Yeah, so say you went for five because I got you give me to call give me the winner He checks to he checks because he's got the scanner
Starting point is 00:09:01 He's not I burn him a couple of times if we're being honest There's a couple December 26 where I got a phone call Tommy was a hundred grand you won a dollar He pays you give me the winner put the winners over here. Then I owe you got a five like a casino. I know because your room, too What you have a little breakfast on us Hey sugar tits make the eggs like the kid likes them Dude, that's fucking insane. Yeah Does it right he does it right you of course I give it back to my mom. I'm not fucking going to whatever Yeah, but you should just give you the five wow. I mean come on. We're not
Starting point is 00:09:39 Bernie's he's the he's the Borgata. She's the Tropicana Played by different rules on the other side of Atlantic City. All right. We're not down there on the water. She's big shot We're back babe. He has her inland You guys are up by Vineland no shit. Yeah, she doesn't and she doesn't have the kind of capital But I'm just saying most of the times You get those things and it's I yeah, you know You turn it in because when you get even like a gift card or something like that. There's a job involved There you gotta go do something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but to have the fucking foresight and the class
Starting point is 00:10:19 I know that's that's honestly one of the classiest things Like what a fucking gentleman because it's the holidays It's like you're not really getting the reward of the thing sure But you're getting the funnest scratch in the thing and then you get a couple of couple of can paid right there Fajals does he does he take anything like if you win five bucks, does he give you four seventy five now There's no shipping and handling nothing. He doesn't even wet his beak on it. Yeah. Yeah, I think oh what hit the scam Look, I'll give you three, you know, I'll buy it for you for three right now. How you gonna get there? Yeah, exactly What he might do this and this might be because he you know
Starting point is 00:11:02 Is this calculated he might keep the free tickets If you would have you in a free ticket, he's not paying you that's not a cash in that's not a cash prize What are you doing? I'm not gonna drive the fucking wah-wah for a one-two dollar ticket He goes, I'll take the freebies so he might get all the freebies back and then go parlay and see if he can get some action See if he can sit at a big table, you know what I mean see how Hardin's playing He's also looking for an excuse to go have a fucking Bernie outside of my mom's you know outside of my mom's radar I gotta go cash in the thing. He's down there fucking. He's got Winston's cooking those dudes Tends that those guys tens tend to hang to we're at the at the ticket wherever they get to tickets
Starting point is 00:11:46 Well, he doesn't play it's my it is just a very Christmas type thing. Oh, he's on a scratcher guy all year. No, not full time. Huh? No, he wouldn't put piss money away like that He's moonlight. Yeah, he's a one-time one-time ear and he plays the bank, too. You know nice good guy I like that. That's that's pretty fucking nice right when I do a scratcher I'll do them on the road just because you're like, ah, it's something to do and it's like rarely I'll do them, but you do them before you leave the gas station. Oh Whatever I'm not get I'm not taking Connecticut scratchers to the hotel then to take I'm doing it there That's why when you're grabbing a see if you can put a couple pieces together
Starting point is 00:12:22 You know what I mean? That's why when you're grabbing a Snickie's there's always some guy next to the line bucket Yeah, trying to get that shit off for sure Anyway, I was I was unaware that we were in that level of Craziness Oh, I could I mean I could have told you for sure the tickets are around the fridge. I love you patty Yeah, I blew me who won now. I don't know who won what not I mean what saint got well You know what saint has the has the hot real estate right now. It was in the top right corner
Starting point is 00:12:52 I don't know who that is. I don't know who the same is Dr. Jay We're talking about Lotto I'm not sure but I'll be looking for my taste if it hits obviously that's the I'm sitting here talking shit right now about the Poor one of course. I love to death. Of course. We both do shout out the patty That's the difference between me and you you quote Dr. Jay And I say Alan I'm percent if that's not like the biggest discrepancy of our of our comedy and references being born in different decade Ten years older than I know I'm aware a good kid. Dr. Jay was our guy. Yeah, I know
Starting point is 00:13:30 Whoa, whoa, we're in the metaverse are we I don't know You don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on But any who let's get into some garbage questions Let's do it from our good folks over there are our good homies the homies on the patreon guys When you send up when you sign up for the patreon will answer your garbage question on air We get hit up a bunch is just the best way to do it The homies over there on patreon get first crack at it And that's what we've been calling everybody if you're if you listen to the free episode
Starting point is 00:13:58 You're a bozo if you listen to the patreon, you're a homie, but we love all we love all you through and through And we know a lot of people push the patreon. I'm telling you we're having a good time It's a fun. It's a good time. It's a good group. I'm telling you. I'm telling you good stuff This one's from Stanley just say shorts in the winter question mark. Oh, yeah, you were never that guy Were you I was never that guy growing up, but now that I've reached my full potential Is that what you've been calling it? Well, I've reached makes capacity there is a Line of fatness that you cross where you can become that guy and it's really just about
Starting point is 00:14:37 Self-insolation, but you like you got to be it's also. I don't think you have a lot of pants that fit Sure, it's a sure. It's a fabric issue. It's not my legs. Don't get cold No, it's I'm not playing you know as a bigger man. You're not you're not rolling in pants No answer you and far between I'm not but if a fat guy is cold a fat guy is cold The fat guy is not gonna go out there He'll go out and get himself a pair of sweatpants and not go out in shorts if he's cold I'm telling you it doesn't affect us the same way. I don't even know if I'm still human You were just shivering outside. You were the one that wanted to come inside shivering
Starting point is 00:15:12 I get a chill every now and again But I'm telling you if I have to leave my place to walk to the deli or something like that to get that's different I'm talking about like going to high school in short now. I didn't go to high school in short. My legs were terrible Chicks there. What do you mean? I can't get any chicks walking around in shorts. I didn't have that Yeah, I never I never did that was never big on that I was never even the kid to like pushed it early. You know what I mean? You'd have that while like, you know March 2nd or something to be getting kind of nice It'd be like 55 and some kid but where's short like shorts are different when I was a kid though
Starting point is 00:15:45 They wish we were still in the love to hear this take They went down past the knee we don't know what we were doing they did they were like bigger and like bloomier They were different now these kids are wearing tighties or in short shorts. I know I can't pull them off No, even like regular bozos. I remember seeing pictures of cookouts and stuff last summer with the fucking Hawaiian shirts They're all wearing fucking short shorts. You got fat guys wearing short shorts. Yeah, fucks his world coming a pair of hand ones hit the deviled eggs Like a fucking gentleman Can't do it. All right, this one
Starting point is 00:16:23 But I do say the cold is I've reached the fatness where the cold doesn't affect me as bad Mm-hmm. It's probably an artery thing. I would assume. I think it's a blood flow circulation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, which you know It's almost like a superpower. Yeah I'm surprised. When do you get those like tough-looking ankles that people get those fat guys get you see them walking? Oh, I got them. Do you know what I mean? I Believe you're referring to cankles. Yeah, no, not I mean, I know what a kankle is obviously But I'm saying the skin gets it's a blood flow issue. I referred to as lymphedema. Yeah. Yeah, it's when the blood doesn't go Doesn't get well, when do you get it? That's what I want to know because the second you do I'm done
Starting point is 00:17:08 You were done this step off a three-minute fucking plane ride. What are you talking about? I look like I'm on my way to bingo Like fuck I gotta start I'm gonna start pushing you around Come on Please for the listener also, too. I am very proud of the work you've been putting them Fuck it in the gym. They'll be cut that a g1. Shout out to it Not this week. I don't think Beep beep beep beep beep plus baseball just stop testing people if they're juicing. Yeah
Starting point is 00:17:41 We're gonna think you're what are you gonna get in? No, try try the twilight years. No, but Roy's are gonna come back in style I think they've always been in style get all juiced up. Yeah, it's a D-ball. Let me go old-school. I see It's called lymphedema it's when your heart doesn't pump strong enough sure the blood back up. Mm-hmm It's in my family not shock Like a cousin in the back of a Thanksgiving photo, but will your feet turn all red like your extremities your feet Usually the blood collects in your ankle. It turns all red and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah They sell they sell things they sell. I know the tights. I know. Yeah. Yeah No, the things that you hook up and they massage the leg. Yeah, my dad's got them
Starting point is 00:18:26 Mm-hmm. Yeah, they're cool. They're called his legs things and I use them all the time. They're called his leg things Yeah, is that the medical dollars you just dropped? They're called his leg things Hey guys, you get that out there. They're called leg thing, but it's awesome. Talk about self-care You sit in that thing for an hour. It really feels good. It really gets it gets things moving people do it now as preventative care Like like in shape people are doing it I'm not a scumbag. He's not wrong like all red athletes. Fuck that shit. Yeah, there you go I didn't say anything. Oh Foley house. He's fucking in PT. We're getting fucking tight over there telling you crazier than ever to
Starting point is 00:19:04 Foley which of these dumbbells are the lucky ones Somebody put my leg things under the lucky washing machine I Want to fill in with super powers Kip, let's talk about ladder ladder gang a lot of people get scared away when it comes to term life insurance But with ladder they can help you. Mm-hmm. Something ever happens. God forbid you don't want to leave your loved ones holding the bag Get over to ladder easy peasy. Yeah, got to make sure everything's in order Ladders 100% digital no doctors no needles no paperwork when you apply for three million in coverage or less Just a couple of minutes phone laptop to apply ladder smart algorithms work in real time
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Starting point is 00:20:23 Dude, it's fucking awesome. Yeah, got health immunity mix it with a little water. You shake it up They send you a little thing like a little a little cool little sure what's it called a thermos that it comes in a little water thing Unbelievable shake that up drink it tastes great. I love it. Yeah, it's fantastic. I mean that it's like it's like a super Multivitamin it's got everything you need in it It's lifestyle friendly whether you eat keto paleo vegan dairy for your gluten-free contains less than one gram of sugar You cover no GMOs no nasty chemicals. No artificial flavor anything. It still tastes good It costs less than three dollars a day. So it's cheaper than your cold brew habit So right now it's time to reclaim your health and arm your immune system with convenient daily nutrition
Starting point is 00:21:05 Especially heading into flu and cold season just one scoop in a cup of water every day. That's it No need for a million different pills. Hey, did I take it that I not it's easy-peasy For you to look after your health Athletic greens is going to give you a free one-year supply of immune support and vitamin D that I take every day Look at that five free travel packs with your first purchase All you have to do is visit athletic greens comm slash garbage again That's athletic greens comm slash garbage to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance do it This one, I don't think we've I honestly don't think we've ever talked about this
Starting point is 00:21:39 This is from Rambo two different words Is a bunk bed with the bottom bunk of futon garbage? Do you know what I mean? It's got like the full-size Queen or whatever full that like has the kink in it that turns into a couch Which when they dropped I think that was so cool Like you mean when they dropped when you were in eighth grade and one kid got it in his room that he didn't have roommates or anything like that I'm just saying whenever it was when he was a kid I just remember I had it was it was like the new version of bunk beds where you're like
Starting point is 00:22:17 We had me and me and Danny had regular bunk beds. Did they go did they go parallel or do they go out perpendicular? That was another cool. That was like a sitcom thing. Nobody had the perpendicular fucking They were like a desk under it or something that that was fucking that was like boy meets world shit That wasn't the Ryan they were nice We had ones that were like from my older cousins from an army barrack that we lost the we lost like the pegs Remember you will put the pegs in yeah, you have to lift it up and then it would sit on the pegs We lost the pegs and we use Lincoln logs Yeah, the most versatile to the toy, huh? We use Lincoln logs to hold them up meanwhile my mom couldn't lift the bed
Starting point is 00:22:58 So it was me and Danny. I mean he was like he was eight. I was four We were lifting a fucking set of bunk beds out. It was dangerous in that house when there was no man around Between my dad leaving and my stepdad coming in there was a lot of manual labor done by children We were moving couches and shit did you ever have to call a neighbor over to help you or anything I don't think we were very resourceful. Yeah, that's a tough. I got called a pussy if I wasn't able to do it I remember being like it's a pull-out couch and I'm six. What do you do? I'm not a pussy dragging a cooler on the beach This is a I had a similar question. I thought of that. I wanted your guys opinion on top bunk bottom bunk Older kid would get the top one. Yeah, it was cool. That was cool. It was more dangerous. Yeah, you want the top bunk
Starting point is 00:23:47 Yeah, you you did you get the bottom? I was always bought. I was scared up there. Oh, man That's where the boogeyman will get your first uh-huh that and spiders. No, thank you Ceiling was always too close to I felt like I felt like I was in a coffin. I Got the big man's number today. What am I fucking Houdini up here? Laying there in a straight jacket get the fuck out of here. Hey kill Bill. I'll be on the couch. All right Just doing the six inch punch. No, but I'm thinking like is it trash? Yeah, it's trash, but it's not trash if it's in a single kid's room He doesn't he doesn't have a brother, but if one if you're one if you if you have to sleep up
Starting point is 00:24:32 No, yeah, you're folding the couch back up every night to pull the bed out. That's that's trash Yeah, so for sure in any situation sure. Yeah, of course One step away from a Murphy bed if you have one If it's just you if you're in like sixth grade and you sleep on the top and you have the in your rooms Like a hangout that's dude fucking top notch dude. You want to sleep over I can pull this out what you pull this out Yeah, I remember one of my buddies had the bed that came out the trundle bed. I think they were called Yeah, I he pulled that out. I was like dude and it was in the farmhouse of the neighbor Remember how the farmhouse
Starting point is 00:25:07 Where like, you know in my neighborhood or like my town area It was all farmland and they would all the farmers sold the land to developers, but kept their house Sure, and these kids lit moved into the farmhouse So like every like neighborhood has a farmhouse in it with all they always had to go hardcore with the farm decor Yeah, and dude, I mean it was that place was trundle beds and rocking chairs Sickles to hanging on the wall and shit. It was dicey First place ever saw a hologram to freaked me out his dad was in like graphic design or something He's like look at these. I'm like, dude. It's give me a headache. I gotta go home
Starting point is 00:25:43 Have a slice of fucking he leaves and clear my fucking head Hey, back to some place with electricity You guys are bugging me out. Yeah fucking over here churning butter, dude But he pulled out a trundle bed and on my mind I think I didn't sleep over I was out weirded out They just cuz you're looking at bed and then all of a sudden another bed comes out of it comes out and you can either I was afraid I was gonna get closed in that's why I wasn't doing it If he slides it out that he goes in and then I'm in there Spring load it. I'm like that. I'm like the Japanese businessman in Seinfeld
Starting point is 00:26:18 Sleep it in the furniture sleeping in the Farkman You can either you can you can pull that out and keep it one level below and sleep on that. That's pretty cool That's a good snuggle situation do goofing around and stuff like that. You're just one of those the word But yeah, you know what I mean. Yeah, um grab ass. Yeah, or you can raise that up and it's a huge bed Oh, I didn't know that sleep the other and then sleep long Yeah, that's not bad Plus back in the day that was the excuse. Oh, we're not sleeping again if your lady friend stayed over You had a trundle bed the bike my high school girlfriend's parents did
Starting point is 00:26:57 In my later years real freaky. Yeah, well, that was a little bit of cash I never saw one. I was a little bit of cash. Really? Yeah, somebody moved out and then Their room gets turned into the nice guest room I think that had a trundle bed if I'm even saying it right is it maybe it's tumble bed It's trundle bed trundle trundle Did any of your friends have the coffee table where the top is like comes up on the spring? Someone did have that I forget who it was a triangle So it was a cough. It's a coffee table and the top like lifts up so like, you know how the coffee table you sit there
Starting point is 00:27:31 It's not you can't like Use it. You can't like eat off. You're like hunched over sure this elevates and comes Oh, like I had a TV tray built-in. Yeah, it's like a standing desk kind of that's not bad Do you so you can operate on it my aunt had one had a coffee table that was circles And it was one circle and then a circle underneath and a circle underneath and you could fan them all out Real nice. Yeah, real nice. It's all right Not too bad We have a Raymore and Flanagan
Starting point is 00:28:04 We had a wooden one right but in the wood it was like four big squares of glass, right and Man, this is so I forgot about this. It was four squares of glass like big pains like You know 18 inch by 18 inch or two feet by two feet or whatever big fucking pains of glass and we broke them Habitually like consistently broke these putting your feet on the coffee Eat on them sitting on the corner changing the whatever you can't have glass like that a glass coffee table I'm a teenager. Yeah, cuz you want to break. I'm not even saying Tina. I mean, we were like kids You want to break it. We'd be like wrestling on the couch fall over
Starting point is 00:28:43 I mean, we get multiple times and then it won't but in your head You always wanted to see what would happen if you shattered it. I don't know about that. I mean, I don't think I'm a Fucking crazy person. What's gonna happen when I shatter these glades I think you're hanging with it. You think your buddy's with a guy All right, cuz I always think that about the sliding glass doors in the bathroom I've never thought about that really my life. I was gonna throw a brick through it and see if watch it shatter No All right, looting the head and shoulders
Starting point is 00:29:11 You just described every relationship I've known you had I like to watch it burn I like to throw a wrench in the mix and see what happens torch this place But we broke it so many times and then well the one of the replacements was like temporary to get the glass cut or something And it was just like a piece of plastic Like from like a hockey rink. It was like it was like the boy and we just kept that for like a decade That's fresh and it was like you could you couldn't see through it. It was like foggy and stuff It was a bad look coffee tables get real trashy after a while. Yeah cut they get fucked up Start pulling apart falling apart
Starting point is 00:29:52 Um, all right, this one's Nicholas ever use Christmas lights as an extension cord which is top-notch trash I've never thought about dude. If you if you got a string of lights Is it the lights coming from the blender in the kitchen? That's a bad look. Yeah, it's bad. I never thought about that But it is essentially just an extension cord I will say this. Oh boy If it was socially acceptable
Starting point is 00:30:19 I would have those white Christmas lights up Most of the time and I would have them running along the like the baseboards As extension cords, but also using them There's just something nice about when when all the lights are off and just little Christmas lights are on Tell me it wasn't great in college when you had them all around your fucking dorm room I would be lying to you If I said we didn't still have Christmas lights up at your house right at our apartment
Starting point is 00:30:47 Is it just lights or is it are they mixed in with connected to the tree garland? I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Is it like mixed in with garland and not garland. So we have like one of those like, uh It's like ivy. I guess kind of I don't know what kind of plan it is, right? Okay, uh And it's on like, uh, imagine like a thing like this kind of right and that's lattice Maybe it's like one of those like leaning ladder type things, but it's big It's bigger than that You shrunk some Christmas light and the the thing like falls the leaves fall all the way down to the girl Like it's like the ivy walk. I got you and then we have the the the bird that lights in that during Christmas
Starting point is 00:31:24 And I it looks nice, but I also don't want to untangle it from the now the plant's all Grown through and I'm like, well, that's just staying there. No, I like that. It's nice lights out You got that going maybe a little man hat and then a glass makes you feel good. I'm telling you Yeah, yeah, but going from like the toaster. We also put them on the fire escape and haven't taken them down yet though either Really? Yeah I don't know how I feel about that either. I'm not against that. Are you hanging on the fire escape? No, it's way too high It's Way too high, dude
Starting point is 00:31:59 Maria Kippy's out there. I have to put a number on it dumping fish grease over over the side. It's gotta be in the five t-shirts he wears First of all, I have about 70 of these Shout out to fresh clean tea dot com. Hey jacky How's your mom doing? She all right It's no, it's like You haven't been in my but it's fucking It's well over 120 feet high. What floor are you on? I'm on the six, but it's up that hill
Starting point is 00:32:31 Nah, I get to fuck. So but our building when you're looking out over the hill the back looks out over the hill So where are you going when you get down to the bottom of the fire escape anyway? You just fallen down the cliff? No Because that's how no for some reason there's that you get to the back of the building for some reason build up for the listener For some reason washington heights is built. It's all like cliffs. It's built on a hill and it looks like A swiss fortress most places. There's these huge brick walls that then hold up Like fucking thousand picture the joker steps. Yeah, that's exactly. I mean that's in the Bronx But picture that like I live I live right next to a set of those So it's like this huge
Starting point is 00:33:13 It's like an 80 foot cliff and then i'm on top of the the back of my building is exposed Yeah, I wouldn't go out there those fire escapes ain't that safe either. Yeah It's like dude those who don't want to check those things and who god knows how long months Months Fuck that My lady will pop out for like i'm easy. Yeah, I don't like it fucking I get that feeling in my belly button don't like the ice. I told you that one time we went to hawaii I was we were on like the 33rd floor of this fucking high rise and we were on the corner that wind was whipping out there
Starting point is 00:33:42 I wouldn't even go out of the balcony. It was terrifying like no shot Like you're you're gonna drift as you fall Have you ever been up in like the sears tower or like a really tall building where you see the water in the Bathrooms swishing in the toilets. I don't like that horrifying. I'm out What the fuck dude I'd run down the stairs
Starting point is 00:34:07 Are you kid? That's the first sign it's going You can't hear god damn mind The water Later Yeah I i'll freak out if I look like when we go do like serious and stuff that's on like the 33rd floor or whatever And even if you get too close to that window that's like like that fucking sucks you ain't feeling in your bp Yeah, I don't like it. Yeah, it's not for me. Um
Starting point is 00:34:43 Let's see here This is from rick haven't had one read yet everybody medical equipment from craigslist I don't know what kind of equipment you're talking about but it's probably not a great look My mom came home with some m95s. I don't know where she picked them up at. Yeah It was like a brown paper bag. Oh, that's bad I used to do a decent amount. I've bought and sold a good amount of stuff off craigslist I quit like, you know fucking snowboards or shit like that like furniture when it was somewhat legit when it was somewhat Yeah, it was okay, but um
Starting point is 00:35:23 Now it's like the dark web now it's facebook marketplace though I bought all this shit on face fucking facebook marketplace the table Fucking, you know all this shit easy peasy And you haggle real hard That's a good way because you can get up it sucks craigslist stinks because you got to copy the email go into your thing And then like you don't know who's selling water what they always just look so sketchy It's user a bunch of numbers. I know two eight five nine seven b6 But I don't like it facebook. It's just like a fucking facebook message
Starting point is 00:35:54 So you're just beep beep beep. Hey, I'll give you 40. No, okay next guy. Hey, I'll give you 20 or whatever You just fucking beating them up real good on price Which I don't like doing but on The internet when I have I have the power because I can just go buy the next guy's fucking coffee table or whatever, you know Well, when I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to pull off getting the c-pat machine through my insurance I was looking at uh Some c-pat going to black market Buying somebody's old use one. The only problem is they get set
Starting point is 00:36:25 To it's a certain parameter certain like pounds per pressure or whatever the fucking is that's not it but Sure a couple of foot pounds. So you'd have to you have to get it close to what yours would be So it would be a gamble like that, but it was almost a move. Yeah, I don't mind. I find I found jobs on craigslist I've done everything Yeah, I mean it was one of the craziest jobs I ever had for sure only lasted two weeks I needed that pay training was real important at that point sushi off of you at a party It all mackerel on his forehead it was under the gig fucking the gig section um
Starting point is 00:37:02 No, that was the one where I was under the overpass remember, uh, we've talked we talked about I believe under the overpass and it was pay training No, yeah, did your pump and dump scam? Yeah, what the put the donations benevolent brothers association. Yeah I'm not even looking around I walk in the guy the guy who interviewed the guy who interviewed me was wearing a visor Uh, I believe with that fake hair woven into it. You know what I mean? That's like a thing like a as a joke I think he just wore it. He wore a visor. His name was like docker. Wait. He saw a wig hat combo Yeah, type visor with wig Really? You see it? Damn. Yeah, this thing is crazy, dude. Yeah, it's like it looks like something
Starting point is 00:37:44 You look like Guy Fieri or whatever a lot of them are like the bleach blonde It's like bald guys in florida having fun. I think I don't know I don't think it's serious But he wore one all the time and a wife beater and uh snow camo shorts when he He interviewed me. I have a I have a degree in business from temple university fox school of business And there's a guy with the rig a wife beater and snow camo cargo shorts Interviewing me for a sales position Uh, yeah, it was tough. You're selling templeing. It's harvard
Starting point is 00:38:16 Compared to a guy and a wife beater. What are we going? It was probably a professor there Yeah, he was a professor a hero in that guy Dude, this I knew was a bad job. My boss had a job another The owner of the company Had a day job How crazy is he I remember I was like, where's steve? I thought he's working. I'm like what and he showed up with like a uniform from You guys want some big doubles
Starting point is 00:38:48 I remember being like Man, if the top of the food chain of this business has a second job Or it was I was just like this isn't gonna work out. This is not good So I quit but I needed that that paid training. It's 500 bucks a week for two weeks Pay training's all right. I just quit fired for my family's company and uh I needed that cash kip. I love bombas. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye beret
Starting point is 00:39:18 Absolutely fantastic. Here's the scoop gang. Bombas mission is simple Make the most comfortable clothes ever and match every item sold with an equal Item and then donate it. Mm-hmm. So when you buy bombas, you're also giving to someone in need pretty cool We're also super supposed to read that line and did it bombas design their sock shirts and underwear to be the clothes You can't wait to put on every day everything a soft seamless tagless and it has a luxurious feel that you know I'm big on luxuries make a nice pair of socks. I'll tell you that right now I'll see you the t-shirts are made with thoughtful design features like invisible seam soft fabrics and the perfect weight So they hang just right. It's tight. Uh go to bombas.com slash garbage to get 20 percent off your first purchase. I ain't talking five
Starting point is 00:40:01 I ain't talking 10 15 20 percent off your first purchase. That's b o m b a s dot com slash garbage for 20 percent off bombas.com slash garbage do it Hello, fresh. Hello, fresh. Hello Fresh. Hello We tell you something fresh this stuff sells itself. Yeah, because it's absolutely fantastic. Uh-huh. They sent it to us. Yeah All right pre-portion. Uh-huh all the ingredients. Yes things. I wouldn't even think to know where to get where do you get nutmeg? I don't know where's that next to the frozen pizza I don't know but they send it herbs spices vegetables accoutrement all this stuff
Starting point is 00:40:39 Everything's portioned out you whip it up save time save money delicious delicious meals Yes, hello fresh has fit and wholesome recipes for satisfying and nutritious meals that make you feel good about Make you feel good about with six risks of six recipes a week to choose from someone Someone reset me including low calorie and car conscious options Uh, hello fresh also offers flexibility if you need easily customized if you need to easily customize your order online or in the app Easily change your delivery day your food preferences. Oh, yeah A week like we were like we use I'll go on the road if we're going on the road punnett till next week I do have the app down pretty good. They know what they're doing. Uh, like you said, we've done it me and my wife
Starting point is 00:41:24 It's a it's a little zest little a little spice to the to the romance too. You're in there. It's stuff that you wouldn't think we're both hopeless, you know Little bottle of wine. Uh, so go to hello fresh comm slash garbage 16 Use code garbage 16 for up to 16 free meals and three free gifts. These people are giving it away Go to hello fresh comm slash garbage 16 use code garbage 16 for up to 16 free meals and three free gifts Do it now back to the show back to the show. That was when you were lending me money I lent you money. Let me 20 bucks. I think I ever get it back. I buy yes Let me check a couple. Let me check last month's bank transfers. Yeah, you got I don't think so you did
Starting point is 00:42:09 What's the interest on that how many years ago was this It was before if you ask me for a 20, there's no way I ever asked for it back I'm okay. Well, there's been times where I've given you 20 bucks too. Sure. Yeah, of course. Yeah I don't think I don't think it was like pitter pat, but like I've definitely I've definitely I mean we've talked about I've greased you to go tip someone else on top of it. Sure, of course Yeah, we have that kind of relationship. Oh, I would never ask for you. No, but I remember when you were living with uh You were living in that South Philly apartment Uh-huh with the other the other comedian was alex and someone else perlman. Yeah, it was me perlman and uh tiny street
Starting point is 00:42:51 Ah I'm drawing a blank mckel carder jackson Yeah, yeah the three boys because that was the first time I played that uh that batman arkham asylum that place smelled So bad. No, I walked into the freeze like oh come on in dude. I made it like into like Like the doorway it was like I'll be outside dude. It was a tough look fully just invented a new kind of fart No, there was like there was a cat situation there before I got that. Yeah. No. No wasn't playing the piano. Yeah, no It smelled like a fucking it sounded like he died a couple of weeks ago
Starting point is 00:43:24 It smelled like the green mile at the aspca. It was fucking tough. Um, but I remember going down there to pick up 20 bucks from you Oh Really? Yeah, that's how that's how jammed up. I was what a loser. I mean we were two we used to be so poor I'm running out my robe to hand you 20. Yeah from the cap to the house coming. I'll give you a sig here take these Fucking doing you Oh, you stink That and I remember I would have to facebook you when I wanted to talk because my phone would get shut off all the time Still does I just like three months ago. I set it up on automatic payment, but I would get shut off all the time
Starting point is 00:44:07 Um the phone getting shut off. I would just well, I mean up until a year ago. I really couldn't Pay it consistently should upgrade to a family plan. Um You can really tell how jammed up someone is by how quickly they ask you for the wi-fi password Oh, yeah, that's yeah, you got the wi-fi password Where's the wi-fi here? Can I have a cup of hot sauce? The second you walk into a place. Yeah Ricky Velez has a joke about that. You know, your friends aren't doing well the second they walk into a party. They ask for a charger Super funny, that's all so bad
Starting point is 00:44:45 Or you're hanging out with the wrong people when people when your squad's doing that or something But I would have to facebook message you yo call me because I could only receive call for like once they shut your phone down I fucking completely forgot about that Holy shit They went once I forgot that that was a thing you'd get put on like probation once you want your once you want pricks Once you don't pay your bill you can't make outward calls and texting doesn't work But I guess for like emergency purposes for like a day or two There's like a grace period where you can receive calls. So I would facebook message
Starting point is 00:45:18 That's like prince and shit Yeah, the phone plans still do that. Can they do that still? No, they shut you down pretty too sweet right now Really? I know from that was even more fucked up. You'd be as half as sure you could at least maneuver get to get you could see He's still still be presentable and I would always post on facebook my phone's on the fritz call me or whatever Hey, phone's all fucked up text aren't working call me. Yeah, this rice doesn't work. I don't know what the deal is Anyway, call me not one of my proud or mom. Yikes I am what I am give me that 20 when you have it
Starting point is 00:45:57 See look at that what uncle house holding up the building at one point And then you moved into my basement apartment came roommates But no, I mean, yeah, no, we were not roommates I think you had to get out of that cat situation and I had a cold floor you could sleep on There's a big difference between us being roommates and you moving into my apartment looking for something with cold tile next to a broken water heater Sleeping a baby. Oh, that's great. Um, all right, let's see here. Um This is from cousin Jeffrey Are you or are you or one of your garbage buddies the guy who always gives the middle finger in pictures?
Starting point is 00:46:43 I was that guy for a long time and it's still it's I'm not proud of it and it's still it's still kind of my go-to sometimes I'm like I'm not It's not good. It's not good. There's a lot of pictures of me I guess it like in my probably in my facebook profile like, you know tags or whatever A lot of sigs in the mouth like a red cup and The finger real couple of all walks do two polo shirts pop collar never two polo shirts school of business, huh? Yeah This guy hey penned out all right for you fatty We'd both be living in that basement if it wasn't for this goddamn degree
Starting point is 00:47:22 Cat's climbing over You got that 20 Yeah, it's tough. It's tough to look back to because we were the first ones With those digital cameras and facebook like my generation was like it came out facebook came out. I think my My freshman year of college. It still wasn't real to you guys You still didn't know like About like your online image or you know what I mean that like this is gonna be around literally forever I'm like, oh, we're partying. Who cares you're at college, you know
Starting point is 00:47:57 Some broads got one of those silver digital cameras She's gonna take a bunch of pics and go upload them. Yeah, so you're sitting. I remember when the iphone dropped I was at a college party You're sitting in front of congress. You got one of those pictures up on a power point You jenko jeans pook and necklace red cup never bleach blonde hair Given the finger. I was an express button-up man or a polo. Are you looking at facebook pictures? I'm hitting the archives Oh, well, let's go to toby's then too. Toby's are great. Yeah, you were probably like throwing mott off cocktails and shit like that
Starting point is 00:48:31 He just got real boston on it. Mott's walk walk Hey, billy bobby johnny jimmy tommy Like an antifa indy over here running around dressed all in black dirt bag Why don't you go back to jazz? What's jazz? Isn't it like to do that demilitarized zone in Seattle or whatever? I don't know enough about anything. I just found a gem and it's on screen right now. That means what is it? I'll text it to you. What am I wearing? Uh, you're wearing a quarter zip
Starting point is 00:49:07 Uh sweatshirt. Okay, white tea The the flash red eyes in the flash like a raccoon Sounds about right. How's that? How is that not fixed by now? It still does that on my fucking iphone Yeah, but there's a thing you can take it out. I think on you. Yeah, it looks cheesy when you do that What the fuck's with the we still got red eye These guys are fucking going to mars. We still got red. I really come on. What are we doing really taking it to us, huh? If only really tackle on the big issues over here
Starting point is 00:49:34 I got hot takes. I mean the guy's 400 pounds. He's worried about red eye It's just something I gotta deal with when I look like a fat double shit in my pictures I mean, I'm hideous to begin with but now my eyes are red. Yeah, no shit. Uh, do you send it to me toby? Yeah, I just exit to oh no, I sent it to luke. Fuck. Oh great now. I got my employees talking shit on me Wow, you're sending uh You sent it to new guy luke. That'll be a good test to see how he reacts. Yeah, fuck that guy. Yeah, yeah You give a text back. I'm gonna text him. Hey, so what's new? It's like it's like weird and threatening to send him too Because it's you flipping him off
Starting point is 00:50:12 This is what kippy thinks of your work I love you look. Oh, yeah That was all right. That was a good time. I was a good kid He just text it back pick pick just screams fuck off pussy. Yeah, he gets it I am what I am. What do you want? What do you just go back to your archives? You think they're all good Talk about punch me in the face. Yeah I dare you Fuck it. Well, you were like 38 when this picture was taken. Yeah, no shit. I was probably
Starting point is 00:50:38 a picture of my family He got lincoln park written all over you in that picture What do you mean lincoln park? Where was that at? Where was that taken at? That looks to me. Let me see it again That looks to me Here that's a clothesline behind you. Yeah with a towel. I believe somebody's backyard. I believe parents probably aren't home Probably some that's college. That's some poor girl babysitting you guys are after. No, that's college babysitting I don't know. I mean, I was 21 in that picture probably You know, sure you were someone's parents are probably aware
Starting point is 00:51:14 We were hanging in the backyard of someone's You know, it seemed like the pool's out. There's a towel hanging Was there a lot of teenage was there a lot of angst in your life at that time? Is that why you did the 21? No, I don't know again We don't know what this do digital cameras just got to the point where they weren't like this big and like girls could Carry them in their purse. I thought I was a cool cool guy. Were you listening to a lot of metallica at the time? No, this was hip-hop. You angry at the world. No, it looks like you're going like this This is the finger that touched the boob
Starting point is 00:51:44 I swear to god it was this one. I swear Oh I didn't um, yeah A young kippy hairline was all right. Let me see it again. I can't really tell All right, I'd slip it. I don't know about that. It was slipping in my 20s. Yeah, for sure The writing was on the walls. You know what I mean um This one's just funny. This is from and you haven't had one read yet
Starting point is 00:52:11 Has your uncle or aunt ever asked you to borrow money that you know, you won't see again and they spelled borrow wrong That's just good. I've never had to lend an aunt or an uncle money. No, but that's a tough look Someone just messaged me. It was on fucking instagram or somewhere. I don't know where it was Hence while patreon is the easiest way to the field them. There's a way to submit but um He was like is it trash if my mom's if I have to keep lending money to my mom's new boyfriend That's a bad look If there's some new guy coming around you gotta spot him 20 To get the phone cut back plus now. He's not gonna go anywhere. He knows you're fucking ripe for it
Starting point is 00:52:56 That's crazy. Yeah, it's a tough look. I've been that guy what Once, you know, once you find a mark you stick with it, you know, you could borrow something up to somebody I've been trying to shake you for a decade You keep going. It's a sickness. I don't know what to tell you Yeah, that's not good. And no, I've never had to loan any anywhere. I'm the biggest loser in my family 45 years I said something like I just got a promotion
Starting point is 00:53:25 Now I'm the fucking loser undefeated MVP every year too. I'm the borrower. Yeah So am I. Yeah. Yeah, never the lender No, definitely wasn't I get I definitely wasn't paying enough fucking scratch offs on the spot I get eyes if I try to pick up a tab now people are like, all right. Yeah, like dude, you know, I mean it went from like It went from people making jokes that I wouldn't pick it up because I just I didn't have any money So when to like the point of like we're not like we've made every joke What are we gonna say? We know what the score is here. This is how this is how much of a bozo I am and obviously and look like a bozo went out to dinner the other night with my family. Okay, where'd you go?
Starting point is 00:54:08 Uh, the place uh in the suburbs in philly, okay, um What I don't know why do you get so weird about The place in the suburbs I said in philly, I guess no one's gonna know it place called myrna's in bluebell. It's delicious It's a spot that I enjoy sounds like a skin rash Myrna's not it's top quality Mediterranean food section delicious. Anyway, um I Was the whole big table. All right. I get I'm taking care of the check. It's been established, you know, listen
Starting point is 00:54:43 The whole I'm taking before I got down here. Listen. I'm coming down here So you said let me take you out to dinner. Yes. Okay. Yeah. I said listen I'm taking mom and dad out to dinner, you know Ask my brother in the family. Do you want to go my cousin ended up coming? It was nice. Fuck a whole big table. It was nice um What are we talking bill here? We'll get to it, but uh, I'm ordering the apps So it's like what do you guys want for apps and just I'm just I'm just gonna order. I'll get it You know one thing
Starting point is 00:55:11 I'm ordering the apps and my brother felt like I was ordering too much and he goes no no no He's like just get one muscle just get one muscles and the server Looked at him and goes. Yeah, just one And listen to what he said. Oh, I'm a fucking loser. Hey, see he knows He's got a nice polo shirt on nice fucking wad. There's just a dynamic if that guy Let's say he's got a little bit if that guy at the table versus you But I was the one that ended up paying she first of all she don't know that Also, you look like a guy who's going to order double the appetizers and not pay
Starting point is 00:55:47 In that bank. So I'll just say yeah, like he's gonna get three tunas one to go Yeah What's for the cat fire to one fire to one late? Um Yeah, that's tough. That's that's tough. Look Ran about five bills. Whoa What it was look at you Ballotines day, you know, everybody was good with your parents. What you know, it was just nice Okay, but I get looks
Starting point is 00:56:12 Oh, you shouldn't be doing that They don't get it. You're gonna be hitting them up in a couple of weeks. Well, yeah I mean, also, you still are on their family plan and just driving their car You're strengthening the family bond It's like you think oh, you need me. I'm here if I ever need you. I'm there for you. I wonder if anybody didn't know that A couple of face throws never hurt either You're goddamn right. Five hundred. They almost five bills You're asking your brother. What's that say? How much is that? I got it. Was that a five?
Starting point is 00:56:44 Oh, that's good. Yeah Um, all right, this one's from mcliven. I don't know. Um Am I garbage for bringing an open container of chips and dip to my buddy's party? Yeah, that's bad. That's that's a bad level of that's real bad The only way and I don't it's subject. It's it's suspect to bring the chips and the salsa still to be What do you mean quite a That's really the bare minimum. It's a dip chips and dip but also that stuff has to be done So someone says yeah, just grab the chips and dip. You're right. That's like that's what they need
Starting point is 00:57:21 What are you gonna make fucking souffles or whatever? Do you think every party needs to have chips and salsa? Not salsa chips and some sort of dip if we're doing a pita and a fucking hummus or if we're doing fucking charcuterie A couple meats and cheeses a little piece of bread and crack something Something buffalo chicken dip floating around there this weekend. Yeah, my sister makes it. It's fucking bananas Can't even be in the same room with it. Um here at calling my name I remember the first time I I dropped it on some of my I dropped it on some of my buddies It was pretty big in my family before it popped everywhere
Starting point is 00:57:54 Like it was like kind of it wasn't it wasn't national. No It wasn't even family certain people didn't add and every crazy I've given it to my friends the first time And they the one by buddy googe goes who made the crack He's like this stuff is fucking crazy Dude that in a bag of scoops couple of fucking chippy dippies in there. Yeah, that's all right. Um You know what my family does What was that
Starting point is 00:58:25 The big man's on goofball. I was gonna say but opened and opened. No, so listen the only way You wouldn't that's not even legally can't serve that legally the only way I would maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe consider it is if You got it. You had a bag and a half Hear me out. I don't agree with this But if you were like I wasn't sure if one bag was gonna be enough and I had this at my house if the chips are open Yeah dip no way. Oh, that's what I thought the dip was this says chips and dip No, that's insane
Starting point is 00:58:58 You're coming in with fucking both of them open The only way the chips could be open is if they were extra if they're additional chips on just to cover your basis You gotta put those out while everyone's backs is turned or in an empty kitchen grab a bowl and dump them something What I was gonna say is you gotta whip you gotta take out the fucking dip the divots in the hummus too You gotta whip that up Get the Oreo can't be looking like someone took a nine iron to it get the Oreo crumbs out of there They get somebody to attend to the greens. Yeah Uh, here's a dirt ball tip if you're ever in that situation you get him up
Starting point is 00:59:32 You gotta show up with something Take the salsa or whatever the dip it is and put it into a to-go container Give it a little fucking hit or even a bowling whatever you would serve at your house put it in there Put some tin foil then 10 hit it with a little bit of olive oil with some pepper or something like that Clash it up a little bit. Yeah The chips I would transfer them into something else too. That's a tough one I mean if I show up to a party someone pulls out ziploc chips. I'm out chips in a pillowcase. Yeah, that's a second location I'd rather have them in the original bag
Starting point is 01:00:02 Not knowing it can I can kind of I can kind of hope that they Got opened when you got there. How do you guys feel about the homemade french onion dip with the sour cream in the packet? Yeah, it's fucking fantastic. Yeah, that's been a while. I was 90s the Lipton onion thing is the mix of what sour cream I've said this many times on this broadcast I believe also the way to go with fucking ranch dip is the hidden valley ranch packet Mixed into a fucking tub of sour cream. It's blow your hair back good Oscar worthy fantastic Uh, what is your number one dipping chip ruffle?
Starting point is 01:00:40 No, but I know I see that's where your head's at because the number one dipping chip for that french onion dip is a uh Straight up potato chip, but but ridged. Yeah the odds we would do odds odds would be the the ripples Um, not a ruffles guy except for the sour cream and cheddar It's all right. That gives me reflux anymore though It's tough. They just it's like too tangy or something and there's somebody call it reflux Okay Just reflux. It's not like a robot What about my boy reflux? Um
Starting point is 01:01:17 messing up your process. You know what we do we're big on at the uh, Ryan kelly sullivan household A lot of dirt back. Why is history now? It's like an irish law firm Welcome to ryan sullivan and kelly We'll get you convicted Are you a resident dui? Um You know what a joke I heard recently I think it was an snl It was they it was the law firm of do we cheat them and how sure that's a great one. That's like do we cheat them and how?
Starting point is 01:01:55 That's a good time. Um, we'll do uh, like the little circle like the shallow circles with uh, Olive oil in them slice up some bread and then they had like the spices for like it's like dipping It's like oil with spices that you dip the bread in pretty good. What are the circles ramekin? No, it's not like a ramekin. It's like a shallow. It's not a ramekin Does it come with the bread in it? What is it single serving? That's where the oil goes Where in the shallow tray the shallow dish. Yes, it's a ramekin for arguments, but a big one No, they're like this big. Oh, okay. They're not individuals though. What aren't individuals the ramekins You don't get like a piece of bread in the little thing like that. No, that wouldn't make any sense
Starting point is 01:02:37 I didn't know. Yeah. No, you dip it in. Okay. Those are filled with oil and spices. Uh, have you not seen this? I don't understand what's going on. I don't know what you're talking about. I'll be dead honest with you Okay, there's like a small dish and or ramekin if that's easier for you You fill that with olive oil There's a couple of them. Yeah, and then the couple different seasoning ones. Yes And then you put the seasoning in the olive oil just for bread. Yeah, I mean I see that on the table But I would never see that wouldn't be on like a party tray or like on a party table I wouldn't say party table. This is like if I if like you're having dinner at the house beforehand not a party
Starting point is 01:03:15 Okay, that makes sense. Okay. It's not like next to the cheese girls or anything No, it's not next to the cheese girls. Is that what is that what you're doing at parties cheese girls sometimes That's not the guy who hasn't been to a party in 30 years. That's not true I've seen cheese girls at a party recently. So what are the doritos in a basket with an apcan or what's going on here? What are these cool ranch ones? Uh All right, let's do one or two more than we got to get out of here. Please Um This is a homerun. It's from David Smith. Uh, just says display to finish puzzle question mark
Starting point is 01:03:49 Never finished the puzzle. Yeah, I don't we were never even a puzzle family Never, I don't even think we were tempted one the last time I did them the puzzle pieces were like that big Yeah, I like the big one and I think they were made out of styrofoam or something. It was like some kiddie thing Yeah, yeah, yeah, never. Yeah, never They tried to get my dad to start doing them a couple years ago That lasted for about two seconds. I'm telling you erotic photo hunt for him would be all right Now no good puzzles. I know people that would like Lacker them and like keep them together and then put them up on the wall
Starting point is 01:04:24 Never never never. Oh, this is really. Yeah, I see a frame them. This just reminded me Remember that we did have a 3d puzzle The hell's that? Anything you remember those the 3d puzzles they were like building. It was like a it was like a skyscraper or something Oh, okay. Oh, and I had like a street or something. I'm my stepdad tried like yeah, I checked this out like Fuddy kick rock make good with the scratchers. What are we doing here? Fucking I'm not an architect over here. I'm a degenerate gambler. You owe me like two payouts. Let's go Placing your money on this junk
Starting point is 01:05:00 No models when you were a kid, right? I think I've actually done this. Yeah, you told me your brother got into a moment. No, I know but you didn't do him. No Okay, cut this out. Yeah Let's do one more and then wrap it up. Um This is from Ethan never had a question read. Have you ever had your iPhone face ID stopped working because your face got too fat Damn, that's gonna happen. I think so. Yeah, I don't I don't fuck with the face ID But yeah, I think you know if you look like a different person certain apps check me every once in a while I gotta do it once or twice. They take a second look
Starting point is 01:05:35 They definitely wait a minute. Yep Still him Fuck foley. Is that you? God damn I get it every once in a while. Yeah. No, I don't I don't mess. I don't trust that technology I don't want them having my face. Wait, so you don't wait. You don't have that on the apps where where you do the face No, you're typing it in every time typing what in the password and for what apps? I don't know you're banking You're banking at yeah
Starting point is 01:05:59 You type in the password every time I type in the eight characters. Yeah. Oh, you're crazy. I'm fucking face ID Oh, you also stop texting and you just whatever text conversation you're having everybody in earshot also has to have that text conversation with you Okay, I'm on my way. It's the most Aggregious thing in the world. It is bust behavior. Oh, it's fucking it's like dirt bag laziness I'm okay, buddy. I'm all thank you so so much It stinks. I have noticed that's been getting annoying. What say something to me Plus when I do it around my daddy doesn't know what's going on. Yeah
Starting point is 01:06:38 I gotta stop doing it. Yeah I'm working on. All right. Let's wrap it up. We got to go gang. We absolutely love you kippy What do you got for uh at camera and comedy and also business at camera and comedy on all social media Obviously patreon.com guys the tour is full blown cook and come see us. We have a good time come hang out Uh, check us out All the ayg social pages the whole nine yards subscribe share a friend tell a friend anything. We love you. Thank you so much Subscribe to the clips channel and send everybody. Yes. We just we just launched a clip channel new guy Luke is working on the clip channel. So he's going to be cranking them out. Check it out
Starting point is 01:07:13 We're operation flood the block. There's something going out almost every day. Correct We're dropping a lot more content trying to get this thing cookie cookie cooking. There we go. We love you peace

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