Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Shannon Lee: Brooklyn Trash
Episode Date: October 19, 2020AYG comedy podcast presents podcast host Shannon Lee! Shannon talks Brooklyn, cheating, trashy relationships. You know Shannon Lee from Gas Digital, The Thing is Podcast, and Real Ass Podcast. S...upport our Sponsors: https://www.ipvanish.com/garbage/ Originally Aired on www.GasdigitalNetwork.com on October 13th, 2020 Sign up for Gas Digital: www.GasdigitalNetwork.com - Promo code: AYG Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?
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Hey gang, it's your old pals, Uncle Hank and Kippy.
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Do it.
Yeah.
Welcome to another exciting edition of R U Garbage.
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians
are classy individuals or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley.
Baby, here we go one more time on a Friday.
Hey everybody out there and welcome back
to everybody's favorite new podcast.
This is R U Garbage, the show where we sit down
with your favorite comedians and find out
if they grow up classy or if they're garbaggio.
I'm H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day here
in the East Village here, Gas Digital Studios
in the big studio, family operation.
Couldn't be more excited.
Feels great in here on the holidays.
I gotta tell you that with Halloween coming up.
I'm excited.
My co-host coming at you from right next to me,
making weird eyes at me.
All right, trying to show me up.
Who calls Halloween the holidays?
That's right, it is.
It starts right now, baby.
We're going until January, I'll tell you that.
And I'll throw in Valentine's Day there too.
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Kevin, James, Ryan, everybody.
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And gang, today we have an incredibly special treat
for you guys.
Probably the most requested guest here on the podcast.
She is a part of the Gas Digital Family.
One of the most well-respected and talented producers here
at the network.
She is the producer of Real Ass Podcasts
with Louis J. Gomez.
Also produces sex, drugs, and rock and roll
with Mr. Ralph Sutton and Mr. Big J. O'Kersen.
And is the producer of No Disrespect
with Mr. Mike Pecchione.
And is the host of her very own podcast
called The Thing Is.
But the big question in everybody's mind today,
is she garbage?
I got the middle name, so it's not looking good
off the job.
I'm leaning towards you, yeah.
Ladies and gentlemen, give me a nice big round of applause
for the one, the only, Shannon Lee, everybody.
Yes!
What's up guys?
Very nice.
Thanks for doing the show.
Thank you, buddy.
Thank you, me.
Thank you.
Do you think you're garbage?
I think there are moments of garbage.
Okay.
And overall, I might be split down the middle.
I'm guessing coming from garbage.
But we're gonna get into it.
Yeah.
I'm curious to know what your verdict is.
And good kind of garbage.
Yeah.
Good kind of garbage.
I'm curious to know what the verdict
is gonna be actually.
I did some research last night,
I was poking around on Facebook.
There's a couple of pics on Facebook
that aren't the clearest things.
You know what I'm saying?
On Facebook?
What are you doing?
Snooping, I'm going way back.
Yeah, for my 20 is probably.
Whatever.
Kippy.
Hold it, where did you grow up?
Tell us that story.
So I grew up in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn.
Okay.
I thought you were a Staten Island girl.
You live in Staten Island now.
I live in Staten Island now, yeah.
Okay.
That's the migration of people that start out in Bensonhurst
and Staten Island, then New Jersey.
Did you make it to Staten Island?
I am in Staten Island now, yeah.
You're planning to go to Jersey.
Wait, no, hold on.
Did your family move from Bensonhurst to Staten Island?
Yes.
Okay, all right.
That's like, we made it out of Bensonhurst,
we're going to the island.
And everyone buys their houses on the island,
and then I guess they upgrade to a bigger house in Jersey.
No one from my family's really made it to Jersey
yet, though.
Okay.
They're kind of in a holding pattern now.
Families are always rising and falling in America.
Yeah, well that is, because we're from Philly,
so there's the similar thing,
if you grow up in one of the neighborhoods,
you get a couple of bucks and you move to South Jersey.
That's like the thing,
is you can get a single family home with a yard,
a garage type thing.
So it's the same migration, yeah.
Bensonhurst, that's way more old school than I thought.
I was thinking small town Jersey across the bridge.
Oh, no.
No?
Bensonhurst, that's like fucking.
That's some tough shit, right?
That's Saturday Night's fever.
Yes, exactly that, yeah.
It was like very, like all Italian,
I think in my elementary school,
I remember there were two black children
and they were twins,
and their names were Trevor and Travis.
I remember this so much
because that was with the only black people
that I saw until I went to high school.
Wow, was that like that hardcore Italian?
Yeah, yeah.
Catholic school?
No, no, no.
Well, always public school.
Wow, interesting.
They brothers and sisters?
I have a little sister,
she's six and a half years younger than me.
Okay, so you were kind of on your own more or less.
Right, yeah, for a while.
And mom and dad?
Still together.
What did they do?
Okay, so.
The fence listening, cut the wire, Dil, cut it.
Are you familiar with the time?
Anytime you ask an Italian girl what her parents do,
and she goes, well, here's the time
that you might get a bottle.
Are you familiar with interstate trucking at all?
Do you know anybody that has a way station?
Do you know the Rico statue?
So when I was like a small child,
my mom was a stay at home mom,
and my dad worked on a trading floor in Wall Street.
And then.
On the New York exchange?
Yeah, but like not actually,
it's not like Wall Street proper.
It was in a.
It's a pulp and dust game.
That's fucking boiler room.
What are you talking about?
Stop trying to talk this.
Did you ever hear of a shell corporation?
It was in the back of a pork store,
but they wore suits.
The name of the company back then was Bankers Trust.
I believe it's Deutsche Bank now,
but he worked for that company.
Deutsche Bank, Deutsche Bank?
It used to be Bankers Trust, is this?
I don't know, yeah.
Oh, that sounds about right.
That sounds legit.
Yeah, but Deutsche Bank was in bed with fucking Epstein.
They're not on the up and up.
Good.
Damn it.
They're the ones that like,
they were giving all the money to Epstein.
And they're like, what were you doing?
I don't know, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, who knows, yeah.
I got a bad connection.
So my dad, my dad worked there for a while.
And then he had, he got up to like
an executive level at one point.
So we had like money.
So when my dad was never home
because he was always working,
but we had like, we were very comfortable.
Until he got into like a disagreement
with his partners there.
And then he quit.
And then he was kind of doing stuff
that he actually did like video editing for a while.
And then he just became like an entrepreneur.
But during that period of time,
the money like went from one extreme to the other, yeah.
So during that period of time,
my mother started waitressing at a diner
in the neighborhood.
This is in Bensonhurst.
In Bensonhurst, yeah.
Oh, I bet it was a good diner.
It was a great diner.
And were you guys in an apartment or did you have a house?
So it was a two family private house
and we lived on the top floor.
Gotcha. That's old school.
That's old school New York,
two family private house on the top floor.
And then when you got to Staten Island,
okay, so where are we at in the lineage
of when your dad stopped it,
when the money went to the extreme,
were you already in Staten Island at that time?
No, I moved to Staten Island seven years ago.
I was like on my own already.
Yeah, so I lived in Brooklyn forever.
Okay, but you said your parents
are in Staten Island now too.
Yeah, also like eight or nine years ago.
Just a little recently, yeah.
All right, so when the downturn happened,
it kind of stayed that way for a while.
All right, very interesting.
And I got to say something,
my brother worked on Wall Street and he worked with,
did your dad go to school?
Did he go to college?
I don't know.
School of the hard knocks.
You know what I mean?
You went to the army.
There's two kinds of traders down there.
It might be different now,
but they're the guys that went to fucking school,
the younger guys,
but then there's dudes probably like her dad
that were fucking animals down there
that fucking only had a high school diploma.
Yeah.
Maybe the ones that fucking racked it in.
I don't think my dad,
I believe he had a GED because he went to the army.
That's when my parents met actually,
they met in the army, yeah.
Your mom was in the army as well?
Damn.
Yeah, they met, I believe they were 19 and 21
were their ages and my dad left to just get out of Brooklyn,
my mom left to get out of Maine,
and yeah, they met in the army
and they married after three months
and they're still together.
Damn, look at his true love.
40 years later.
That's fucking awesome.
Was he, any wars or anything like that?
No.
No.
All right, all right, all right.
Couple of the mess sticks, if you know what I mean.
That was later on.
Well, I was like bracing for something the way you said that
and you were like, all right, hold on.
No, no, no, it just seems pretty clean
and that's all on the up top.
Normal upbringing, you feel?
Yes, yeah, despite what people peg on me
for my choices later on in life,
it didn't come from family things.
Okay, so that's what we've found out by doing this.
It's like, there's a point,
some people are just born into trash and they stay trash,
some people are born into trash and they, you know,
overcome ago, I'm not gonna be what my dirtbag family is.
Other people are born into nice families
and stuff like that,
then once they start making the decisions,
it takes a hard left there.
How you doing?
Nice to meet you.
Right, your parents are going,
your parents are fucking dirt balls.
They're watching this.
I love you, Pop.
I'll get that 20 back to you as soon as I got it.
I promise you.
What were the decisions that you made later?
Oh, I don't, I just, I think it was maybe,
I dated some pretty shitty guys that.
Okay.
Well, this is, if, you know,
especially on gas digital.
We're gonna get her on the love life.
I love that.
On gas digital, it's very,
your love life is very known.
It's part of, you know, your personality and stuff like that.
You're, you know, your on air personality.
And you have a very specific kind of guy you like to date.
And you describe to them as what?
Scary looking.
She likes guys that crack heads over.
Yeah.
Or at least have the ability to,
but have the immaturity and the intelligence
to not unless needed.
Wow.
Have you ever witnessed your boy?
I've never felt like such a pussy in my life.
Oh my God.
I wanna, she goes, I want a guy who can fuck people up,
but he doesn't do it because he's a good guy.
You know, he comes from a good family, loves his mother.
Exactly.
Have you ever seen one of your boyfriends
straighten somebody out in front of you?
Yes.
Oh man.
Yes.
What's that like?
That's real Italian garbage.
Tony, get back in the car.
Jenny, it ain't white thing.
I love you.
Have you ever screamed that?
Like, hey, fight, you know.
Kind of, it's just, I.
Did you, I'm sorry.
Did you have violence or relationships
with some of these guys?
Was there like fighting on the street
and stuff like that?
Yelling at each other?
Yep.
All of you both.
I would love to see Jenny.
Yeah, these dudes aren't calm, cool collectors.
She's dating their fucking gorilla.
You never loved me.
Yeah, the last time I saw a boyfriend
put his hands on somebody, it was kind of warranted.
That's like old Bob Lye shit.
He shouldn't have been fucking standing here.
Fucking lucky Luciano over here put his hands on a guy.
That's real technical.
That's not, that's such a selective wording.
He didn't hit him, he didn't assault him.
In case anybody's less, he put his hands on him.
Talking to James Cahn, ladies and gentlemen.
Holy shit.
He definitely had a leather jacket on, a nice leather too.
May have been.
Friday night, you're out trying to have a nice night,
driving a nice night, I'm gonna go over here,
you're causing fucking problems.
So close to what happened.
Yeah, lay it on us, lay it on us.
So you two were Spamoni Gardens
with a plate of muscles in front of you, huh?
No, we're actually at a place called
the Marina Cafe in Stan Island.
And we were there celebrating his brother's birthday.
So his dad was out and a bunch of their friends
were out and everyone was drinking.
So they're already charged up,
all fucking squashed.
And that's also, that's a real trash thing too,
when like, when you feel they've ruined a family event,
you know, it's my fucking brother's birthday.
You pulled his shit, I come out for a nice thing.
It's my brother's fucking birthday.
So this guy, this guy who I believe was like
an ex football player, I don't remember,
I don't know what teams are.
Was he in the party?
Was he at the party with you?
He was, he was at the place.
Professional football player, you're saying?
Yeah, he used to be.
That is always my big, any time there's like,
I'm at the dinner or something like that
and there's like a big party of like tough dudes or whatever,
you know they're always looking to fuck somebody up.
Make an example out of somebody.
We're not looking out there to donate the charity.
Yeah, some guy at the bar running his mouth
or God forbid they fucking hit on one of their girls
or something like that.
Well, that's what happened.
Stay clear, okay.
That's what happened.
Ah, here we go.
So the football player, I don't even have to be here,
you guys can tell my own story.
Wait, was he in current football?
No, he was an ex football player.
Oh, professional?
Yeah.
Okay.
So he, he like.
Cause you know I played a little football in college.
Soccer.
It was the goal.
So he put his arm around my ex's brother's girlfriend
or whatever.
Why?
How will you mix it?
So the dinner's over,
you're mixing them in at the bar a little bit.
People are getting familiar,
but they don't realize they're dealing with fucking.
See, but in Staten Island, it's like every.
Fucking meet him from Benson Island.
Don't have a goddamn future.
Oh my God, would you put your arm around this girl?
What the fuck?
Hello, ma'am.
Yes ma'am.
I'm sorry, we keep cutting her off.
It's okay.
So they knew, like they knew each other
because in Staten Island, same thing like Bensonhurst,
everyone knows each other somehow.
Gotcha.
So they knew him from somewhere before.
So he did that and then he,
as my ex's brother is talking to him,
the guy like sucker punched him from the side
in a weird way and they're walking in front of us
and my ex and I are here.
So when my ex sees that, this is his little brother.
So he now, I know.
So there was an exchange, once the penalty happened,
once the guy put the arm around the girlfriend,
there was obviously an exchange between those two.
It's like they talked about it, but away from the bar.
Oh, pulled him aside?
Yeah.
It's a real wise guy.
That's what it is.
Somebody was like, hey, can I talk to you for a second?
There's no way I'm going.
Check please.
I'm gonna pick up a shift.
I'm gonna start working here.
I'm never leaving this place.
That's the guy that doesn't want to make a scene.
That's the one you gotta be scared of.
So yeah, so the guy hit him on my ex,
so that the guy hit his brother.
He like went after that guy and then it was like
a whole tussle, he's like on top of the guy
on the ground in the parking lot.
It was a whole thing.
And now, but I, you know, as much as I like
somebody's ability to do this, when it happens,
I still panic.
I'm like, I don't want anybody hurt.
Like this isn't that type of, like no one needs
to actually be hurt over something so stupid.
But a little party, you liked it.
It turns you, it fires you up a little bit.
No, knowing that, like, cause like the guy.
I'm getting turned on.
I know.
What are you talking about?
He's still got his number, what's happening?
I want to see a picture of this bow honk.
Bow honk.
What are you, what are you from the 30s?
Bow honk.
What, I don't even know what that means.
I don't know, it's bringing feelings out of me.
I don't know what's going on.
I tell you what, fat kids always come to me.
Can I get a white wine in here, by the way, police?
Thank you.
So my ex didn't have like a single scratch on him.
Just some like blood on his shoes from the other guy.
Tall dude.
Blood on this, what the fuck?
I was about to ask you, what'd you guys have for dessert?
Holy shit.
So yeah.
That's all, that also shows how much she liked.
He didn't have a scratch on him.
But the other guy, you should have seen the other guy.
The other guy was terrible.
I thought it was terrible, I don't believe in that.
But he fucked this guy up, I'll tell you.
He didn't even get a shot in on him.
He didn't.
That's a bunch of point of pride.
Did you clean the blood off the shoes that night?
Yeah, I did.
Oh, you're twisted.
You're twisted.
Fucking Karen from Goodfellas, that was all we had.
Oh man.
And like iced his knuckles because like it was all,
you are trash, Jen.
Oh my God, please.
It's not the first or last time
that I've iced a guy's knuckles.
Ice and knuckles, what the fuck?
What the?
Holy shit.
My girlfriend painted my toenails last weekend.
Oh my God, I used to like knuckles.
That's insane.
Should I go now?
15 minute episode, everybody.
Oh, that's fucking juicy.
And what about you as far as your trajectory
to becoming a producer here at GAS?
What did you go to college?
I went to a little bit of college.
I went to like a semester and a half
at CW Post in Long Island University.
Dude, this is all checking out.
These are like the boxes on this
and just going right down the line.
Was there any beautician school involved in?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Dental hygentist?
Nope, none of that.
Phlebotomy?
Phlebotomy's a big one.
I just don't know what it is.
I'm gonna be a phlebotom.
What about like chiropractor or trainer?
All right, here we go.
I'll give you the ones that will check off more boxes.
So I did.
I saw time shares in Florida.
I did go to the Scratch Academy to learn to be a DJ.
Oh, wow.
What year was this?
Hazard football team.
It was, hold on.
Hold on, did you take out financial aid to go to this?
No.
Okay.
I had a buddy take out like fucking 35 grand
to go to like CH or something
to do some sort of skill that was never.
35 grand!
Yeah, I'm like, what?
Was this in Bensonhurst?
No, the school was here in the city,
but I was living in Bensonhurst at the time.
That's also a big thing
for like Deep Brooklyn and Quinn of the city.
It's a big separation between the city, Manhattan,
and like what you call this, this is like,
it's very separate.
You're old guard Brooklyn.
That's what you're old fucking guard.
She's old school Brooklyn.
Yeah, old school Brooklyn.
Yeah, I wasn't allowed to take the train into the city
by myself until I was 18.
Okay.
Wow.
Yeah, but yeah, I also took out-
Because there are animals in there.
That's what you're trying to say.
No, Robby in there.
I also went to school to become a personal trainer.
So I had an NASM accreditation.
Okay.
I went to real estate school for a short period of time.
That's every knucklehead,
every knucklehead from a neighborhood like that
in any city across the country,
specifically Boston to Philadelphia.
Dude, how many cousins,
how many of my cousins have the real estate license?
They don't even own property?
Dude, like fucking like 10 years ago,
like everybody, yeah, I got my rules.
Making money, hand over fist.
He got his, they gotta pay.
They gotta pay to broke his face.
Oh, dude, that's fucking great.
All right, real estate.
Did you work in real estate for a little while?
No, I never finished taking the classes.
Once it got to the math, I'm like, I'm out.
10%, what the fuck, you mean 10%?
Are you kidding me?
Yes, I don't like math.
I think I could pull the math off in real estate.
I don't know.
You're late on your fucking rent every month.
You're not even doing that math right.
But how I got into podcasting was eight years ago,
when I was like, when I was dating still,
I would always go to work
because I always worked in like corporate life.
And I would go in and tell my bad date stories
and I'm like, oh, you should write a book
and whatever, because I had the worst dates.
And it was the time that podcasts were like starting.
So I was like, I'm not gonna write a book,
but maybe I'll start a podcast.
And so I've been doing my podcast for eight years.
And then,
The thing is, it's been going on for eight years.
That's fucking awesome.
What's that?
You always do ding, that's a thing.
It's something that's grown
because it's something that people will say
throughout the course of the show.
We have to like acknowledge it.
And then it just became a ding.
The thing is, ding.
I had such a fun time with Sean Patton on that.
It was great.
I feel like you both got freaked out
when you were both on the show with the ghost stories.
Yeah, Patton freaked me out with his ghost story.
That was a great episode.
It's also trash because it starts in the woods,
which we said to him last week when he was on the podcast.
What?
His ghost story.
I told you, Sean Patton starts out with him
and his buddy in the woods drinking.
Well, the girl, the woman I did was like an actress from,
I forgot what it was.
Crazy ex-girlfriend.
And she was like, yeah, my uncle built a house
on a pet cemetery.
I'm like, well, why the fuck is staying in the house, lady?
The fuck?
It was like a witch or there was a witch.
Yeah, she's like, oh, it was buried on an old witch burial.
I'm like, fucking, I'd move states if that wasn't it.
I wouldn't stay at a shore house
if the grandfather died next door.
What are you talking about?
A pet cemetery.
It was something weird.
And I was like, I was nervous.
We did it remotely.
I was nervous in my apartment
because it was dark out.
My wife wasn't on it.
My one cousins lived next to a cemetery and they did well.
That used to blow my mind when I went.
You got a little bit of gage.
What the fuck are we doing here?
Having Thanksgiving, looking at a fucking Ichabod crane
in the midst.
Get the fuck out of here.
The headless horseman won seconds, okay?
Where'd you get the pumpkin for this, huh?
All right.
Oh my God.
Jesus, Shannon.
The fact that you've iced down multiple dudes knuckles
is insane to me.
Was the, so I'm not familiar with the straight.
So for, you don't really date now.
Right.
You've kind of calmed down.
It's like two and a half years or something.
Yeah, two years and seven months I haven't had sex.
But, okay.
Same with fully.
I don't see what the big deal is.
This isn't my choice though.
I don't see what the big deal is.
No, do I realize why you brought it up?
To be honest with you.
What's so, behind that, what's the personal choice of that?
Because for the audio listeners, she's a knockout.
She was running around with gorillas.
What do you mean?
Somebody's gonna get fucking hurt.
That's why she's doing it for the good of society.
Can't have her out there on the streets with these guys.
You kidding me?
Yeah.
I think just after the breakup with that guy
that I told that story about.
Ice knuckles?
Yeah.
Ice knuckles.
It was about, we broke up maybe nine years ago
and we did some on again off again since we broke up.
But ever since that breakup, I haven't been in
like another real relationship since then.
And now I just, I don't know where to meet people.
Like I can't meet people here, you know?
So I don't really know where to meet people.
And plus there's no fucking juice heads
coming in and out of gas digital.
He got Dylan who's 110 pounds soaking wet.
He's not checking any boxes.
We need a garage or horse betting podcast out here.
Is there an OTB in the East Village?
It's a great idea.
What can I ask is what did your last boyfriend do?
Let me guess.
Hold on, no.
Are we gonna be able to guess it?
Is it something standard?
I got three guesses.
Go ahead, go ahead.
Mechanic.
Oh, oh, would you for work?
Okay, no, no.
Okay, all right, no, that's not mine.
I was gonna say.
What did you think we meant?
What did he do?
That made me break up with him.
Oh, all right, I get to that in a second.
This is the after hours.
I feel like I'm watching a soap.
I know.
I feel like I love this.
This is great.
I'm gonna go with the three stereotypical New York.
Policemen, firefighter or like, you know.
There was definitely a union.
Blue collar union guy.
Close.
Corrections officer.
Oh, I'm in the wheelhouse, baby.
Holy shit.
It's got good bannies, good pensions.
I do 30 years, I'm out.
20 years.
20 years, 20 years, I'm out.
I can retire at 44.
I've been doing fishing charters in Boca.
It's time to experiment.
By that point, we'll have a house
in fucking Englewood, New Jersey or whatever.
He's like, he has retired now.
Okay.
He's retired.
Young.
Yeah, yeah.
What, he reteeded his full 20 and out?
I think he was like a six month short or something
because he had so many injuries from.
Took like an early five or something.
Wait, so many injuries from what?
Uses of force.
Oh, you are, who are you?
Jesus Christ.
You are garbage.
That's not me.
I know, but the way you say it.
Uses of, she was, he put hands on them.
Uses of force, he's cracking skulls, please.
You know, wives can't testify.
It's the first thing she says and I don't know where.
What the fuck?
Oh, that's real.
This is like mob wives' garbage.
Oh my gosh.
I have a corrections office.
He works at Rikers for 12 years.
Sounds like a nice guy.
I didn't think he was fucking working, you know.
Probably not a big Lunchables guy when that was.
Holy shit.
Damn, this dude would fuck us up.
Oh man.
There's something, I loved characters like that.
Like, he just checks all, it's so funny.
And you're, you have such a,
you have an attraction to that kind of guy.
Which is great.
That's fucking, that's so funny.
What was the fight?
Oh, that broke us out.
Yeah, let's do this now.
Here we go.
So I worked in like a corporate business at the time
and I had to go.
Some tax attorney got tuned up at the office on a Tuesday.
Probably deserved it, I'll tell you that.
She can wear whatever the fuck she wants, Jerk.
Have you ever said these words?
If I tell my boyfriend this, he'll kill you.
Yeah.
Got his fucking hands all over me.
I go through the fucking checkout.
So I was going on a business trip to Colorado
with a co-worker of mine.
The co-worker was a guy.
He probably hated the fucking guys in that office.
Yeah, but he didn't know, it's like-
Cause those guys are probably fucking dicks.
They're probably scumbags hitting on you,
being like that, fucking.
But it wasn't, it wasn't at all that way.
But maybe that's what he was thinking in his mind.
And he didn't even know-
As a former psycho, that's what he was thinking.
As a guy, yeah.
Any guy thinks that, or assumes that,
let alone a fucking CO at Rikers.
He's definitely thinking the worst.
He probably ran the guy's plates.
He probably knew some info about that guy.
That guy wouldn't want people knowing.
All right.
So we were traveling together.
We were taking the same flight,
but we weren't staying together.
It's not like spring break where we're sharing a room.
Was this guy single?
Did this guy like you?
No, definitely didn't like me.
I don't remember at the time,
cause he's married now, but I don't remember at the time
if he was single or I don't remember.
It's neither here nor there, really.
But so I-
How about a loose cannon on your hands?
Yeah, it's there.
It's there, it's there, lady.
I'll tell you that.
So I had my like,
cause I like spent more nights at his house
than I spent at my own.
So like my luggage was there
with my clothes packed for the trip.
And he went through my luggage.
And I don't know if you guys know about this,
but like, you know, there's like button down shirts.
He went through your luggage.
Yeah, that's not the end of it.
Don't act like you haven't done anything crazy, big guy.
I've gone through the garbage, you know what I mean?
Gone through the luggage in the hotel room.
So it was like a button down,
a long sleeve button down shirt,
but with like, you know, like a onesie snap,
like a bodysuit snap at the bottom
so that it doesn't untuck.
So I had a few of those, but-
I used to love those.
But that bottom piece is like lace.
And he saw that-
I was just taking a hard left, yeah.
I mean-
It's a button down shirt.
It's a button down shirt.
No, it ain't.
With lace, with lace, with lace panties.
What are you talking about?
I mean, no one sees that part.
Yeah, not unless you want them to.
Yeah.
I'm gonna show them the goods, you know what I mean?
I know, I see with this, I wouldn't let you go.
I would've been losing it.
I would've been losing it.
This guy sounds like a good guy.
Can we get him in here?
I wouldn't let you out of the apartment.
What do you mean?
Let me tell you something, Kevin.
Ralph tried that because-
To get him in?
He was on, he was on an episode of my podcast.
So you can go back and watch it if you'd like.
And-
Use promo code AYG.
You can watch him win over everybody in the studio.
He's probably, yeah, including me.
Yeah, he had everybody on his side and then stood me up.
So he's full of shit.
Wait, stood you up for what?
After he decided to reconcile or something?
Ralph was like, you guys obviously still love each other.
He claims the reason that we're not together
is because I didn't have enough time in my schedule,
which is not the truth.
And so Ralph was like, why don't you guys plan
to have one date a week for a month
and then we'll come back and discuss it.
And the day-
That Ralph's a sharp guy, man.
The day that we were supposed to have that date,
he just stopped answering my texts and it didn't happen.
Wow.
Well, maybe he was trying to deal with some emotions
that he can't process.
No, he's just, he's just, no.
Oh, he's got a crush on this guy.
You don't know him the way I know him, Shannon, okay?
If you did, you would understand.
Maybe you're right.
Please call me.
Man.
All right, so back to the luggage.
Yeah, so, so-
And wait, you talked about this incident on Ralph's podcast.
No, I think I've talked about this.
I may be, no, but you know what?
I'm so stupid because I was focusing on other things
that happened in our relationship
that I didn't even bring up this situation
when he was on the show.
So dumb.
Okay, so we've got an exclusive here.
I like it.
Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
Because I would love to-
This just ain't crotchless panties.
I would love to hear him.
The pants if it has Nightmare Continues.
I would love to hear him try to explain this way
in some way.
He got jealous.
What do you mean?
You're going on a fucking business trip.
To do, we understand where he's coming.
We're not saying it's right again, for sure.
Anything but a pair of boxers and a t-shirt,
I'm losing it, I'll pay that right now.
All right, so he goes through, he finds the-
Yeah, and he-
The lace button-up shirt.
Was it at the bottom of the luggage, too?
No, I've had pants, dress pants, shoes,
and button-down shirts, that was what I packed.
And it was only going for like two days.
Anyway, so he cut up all the clothes in my luggage
for the trip.
What?
Cut them up.
Then he put it back in.
Well, he didn't, he, before I got home,
before I got back to his house,
he was like, we should talk before you come home,
because I guess he had a fit of rage,
and then came down from it, and was like,
oh shit, how am I gonna explain this?
And so, then he told me, and I was like-
You packed the night before, what's going on here?
You were at work?
Where were you leaving the next day?
Yeah, yeah, I packed, left there, went to work,
and I was gonna, you know,
just so everything's ready and good to go.
That's pretty organized.
And yeah, so before-
Hey, listen, Sharon, we need to talk.
I accidentally, somebody put the lawnmower
on top of your luggage, and everything got cut.
I don't know what the fuck, this fucking landscape,
it's gonna be the last time I use them.
I'm telling you that much.
Caught a super, we got rats, all right?
We got rats in here, call them.
So he didn't confront you first, he did that.
That's what-
He did that.
That's the next level, crazy.
Yeah, and then, so yeah.
I get it, I mean, hey, I've been in jealous rages.
Why all the clothes?
Why not just one that item?
You know what I mean?
You're ruining my sweatshirt.
Yeah, it was several articles of clothing.
So I didn't end up going back there
before I went on my trip.
I went to Lomond's on the corner by my job,
bought a couple of outfits, and then when I came back,
I just like-
Was there a conversation that night when you got home?
I'm sorry.
I didn't go back there.
She wouldn't go back.
She just said, fuck you.
Oh, because he told you on the phone,
I cut all your shit off.
Yeah, he's trying to prepare me before I actually saw it.
Get ahead of it, I get that.
So you went and bought fucking like clothes,
that's like Julia Roberts shit right there.
Holy, can't go back to the house,
fucking buys a red wig,
gets on a fucking red eye out of somewhere?
I don't know, that big glasses on.
What are those scars?
Holy shit.
I know he didn't use scissors to cut them up either.
I think he did.
I don't know.
No, he used his government-issued knife
that the fucking Rikers gave him.
So yeah, so it was over.
It was over after that, at least like officially over.
We've tried a few times throughout the years,
but yeah, it was officially over.
That's what broke it up.
Did you have a conversation about it
or did you just never talk to him or back?
We tried to talk about it, but he wouldn't-
He didn't say like,
why'd you have this in there?
What's the deal with you and this guy?
No, he was just, he wouldn't even admit
that he was jealous.
Like he was just trying to skirt around it.
Like it happened, let's move on
and just wouldn't even have a conversation about it.
I get that.
You can't get past that.
Carry that down deep, buddy.
Listen, what happened happened?
We can move forward from here.
Exactly, exactly that.
Why you always bringing up old shit, champ?
I'm sorry, buddy.
She's fucking, I don't know what to do with her.
She's a handful.
Forget about it, dude.
There you go, that was beautiful.
Holy shit.
Damn.
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Yes, sir.
All right.
As a formality, unfortunately,
we need to do some questions called are you garbage?
Um, man, I love that.
That's that's what that's a that was a steamy.
Did you ever later hook up with that guy from work?
For sure.
Never.
And a lot of me swear to God.
OK, on my eyes.
Never, never on my eyes.
What a guinea thing.
Oh, my God.
Where are my eyes?
Say fuck.
May the Lord take my sight right now.
You have pictures of people you don't like in your freezer.
That is fucking old school.
Shit.
I swear on my eyes.
Where are my eyes?
Bensonhurst, you long for me.
And you are.
That's insane.
I swear on my eyes.
Look at me.
She's spits on the floor.
Have you ever spit on the floor inside of a house?
No.
Have you been in a lot of fights?
No.
Have you been in any fights?
Yes.
Yeah, it wasn't my fault, though.
Yeah, I can tell.
I put hands on it.
Have you ever punched a guy?
No, no, I'm not out of like sparring in like a class.
No, OK, never, never.
I'm not that I'm not that type of girl
that is like trying to hit a guy to see what he's
going to do back to me because I'm very well aware of what
they can do.
I don't need to test them.
So no, that's not me.
Gotcha.
What was the last fight you got and why?
Like a physical fight, you mean, right?
So I mean, the only fight, the only like real fight
I've ever been in, I was like 16.
OK, that's yeah.
Yeah, and it was a girl.
Teenage Bulls.
Yeah, and it was a girl that just like hated me
and she was bullying me all the time.
And I was in this program in school called mediation.
It's like I was very much a pacifist and just felt like we
talked through everything.
So this girl came and met me after I left work one night
and with her group of friends and with my group of friends,
she's like, I don't like you.
And I'm like, OK, cool.
Like, are we good now then?
Because we don't have to be friends,
but you know, there's no point in going any further with this.
And she's like and she's like flipping out.
So I turned around and walked away.
I'm an idiot for turning around.
And she like bum rushed me from behind.
And then so we like tussled.
I like broke some nails, whatever.
And then our friends broke it up.
That was it.
That's my only for real fight.
Wow.
It's like fucking West Side Story.
Was that in front of a diner or something like that?
Where was that at?
Because I'm on a corner up the block from my house.
You can hear singing throughout the neighborhood.
Holy fucking shit.
This is a wacky one.
All right, let's do a little R U garbage here.
All right.
Where do we go from here?
OK, I think I have one.
What do you got, buddy?
In your shower.
Is there a lot of empty shampoo and conditioner bottles?
No.
I've been victim of that.
Interesting.
What kind of hand soap do you currently use?
It's probably nice.
So I have I have two different ones next to like my bathroom sink.
I have a unicorn one from Bath & Body Works.
It's like a little unicorn.
It's all sparkly.
And then I have like a dial antibacterial, like hard.
Is it the gold stuff?
Yeah.
Nothing smells better than that gold dial, patio.
That'll take you right back.
And you're and you're adamant and saying you're not garbage now, right?
Like, I imagine we ask you routine questions, you know,
is the apartment clean, this stuff, the other thing.
But but but we're checking all those boxes.
Probably probably, yeah.
Do you yell your coworkers?
Of course.
Yeah, do you yell a Dylan?
They make me.
Do you brush your teeth in the shower?
Never.
Never.
Never done that.
Interesting.
Because you're going to you're using warm water.
That's gross.
That's weird.
I never thought of the water temperature.
Yeah.
You got to get a nice fucking cold fucking shock.
I like it hot sometimes, to be honest with you.
It's kind of it feels like you went to the dentist.
Aren't you not supposed to use warm water in your mouth,
like when you're brushing your teeth?
I mean, he's concerned about the fucking water temperature.
He just told us last episode he he cleans the public toilets
with water from the toilet bowl.
Who would I ask that question to anyway?
Dennis is gonna fucking lie to me.
Google was telling you.
Yeah, Google it.
That's true.
You've worked in a kiosk at a mall.
No.
Do you have anything that's airbrushed?
Ever or now?
OK, I have.
Yeah, I actually my first beeper because I'm 750 years old.
I had a beeper, too.
My beeper was neon pink and it had airbrushed like a palm tree.
You know, like, you know, the war we're going to get.
Do you have stuffed animals in your house now?
I have I have one like a little gizmo stuffed animal
that my dad gave me as a kid.
Is it on your bed?
No, it's in my second room.
All right, with a knife through its head.
Have you ever had a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese?
I I'm pretty sure I did.
It's out of my memory, but I remember Chuck E.
Cheese as a kid, so I'm pretty sure I did.
Yeah, those places were fucking disgusting.
Is that does that make is that like it's trash?
It's like it's yeah, it's not good.
It's not good.
It's not a good.
We're just trying to get a temperature.
There's way worse.
Chuck E. Cheese is going to pull you out of the fire now.
Chuck E. Cheese can't help you.
There's way worse than Chuck E.
Cheese. Of course.
Of course. Yeah.
When I was really young, it was McDonald's.
Your mom was working.
It's better than the backyard.
No, I say go back.
I mean, it's a personal.
Chuck E. Cheese, you pay like the six bucks a kid
and they run around fucking in dirty.
I remember being those McDonald's thinking it was weird
because it was like on the Wednesday morning
and you could still smoke in there.
So it was like one or two customers
and we were like in like a back corner.
Was it before a play place?
Yes. Oh, that's a real bad if you're having your years.
It was one you're having your birthday party
at a non play place McDonald's.
Oh, yeah, this is early 80s.
There was some bozo dressed up like Ronald McDonald
and they threw this fucking shitty sheet cake at you.
No ball pit. No.
That was before before any jungle gyms or anything.
Remember how hot members I've never been in a ball pit.
That's how fucking trashy.
I'm sad for you.
That's how trashy and old I am.
I missed the whole ball pit.
I was a big BP kid.
Big probably eating them.
Find a chicken nugget in there.
I was always scared of them, too.
That's how trashy I am.
I thought I would drown in it.
Has anyone ever died in a ball pit?
I think so. What?
You can breathe still, even if you're covered.
I don't know.
Trust me, not trust in the McDonald's Corporation
to take care of my safety.
Although I did have a double cheese today.
Extra. No pickles, no ketchup.
This guy, I mean, we got to do something.
We got to get Vecchione.
That's the fully right there.
I should get a fucking contract with McDonald's.
Double cheeseburger, no pickles, no ketchup,
extra onions and max sauce.
You look like I'm listening to you.
Like, oh, wait, say that one more time.
Can we write that down on the booth?
I'll tell you what, fat kid.
Oh, man.
There it is.
Do you collect anything?
Okay, I collect rocks, like gems.
Like crystals?
Yeah.
Do you go to mediums?
No.
Have your cards read?
I have, but it's all kind of part of like my show,
like the paranormal segment.
I'm always just trying to be proof,
like I want proof that anything paranormal exists.
So I test them out.
I've never really received anything that was true,
you know, so, yeah, so I have,
but it's never really worked.
Crystals.
When was the last time you were at a flea market
or a garage sale?
I was, I went to my,
I think I was with my sister maybe last year
and she was like, oh, let's check this out
and pull over, my aunt is also very big
into garage sales and stuff like that.
I, not for myself.
Okay.
All right.
Because I don't want a haunted item.
Okay, wacko.
Wait, really?
That's why?
No, I don't want one.
I don't want a napkin hole that's going to kill me
in the middle of the night.
Meanwhile, you're sleeping next to Tony Cologne.
If I could fucking lose it in any moment,
I wouldn't be worried about the fucking ghost in the kitchen.
I don't want my recliner to eat me.
I think Gizmo with a knife through something else.
That was, that was okay, I'll take that.
Oh my God.
We're having fun over here, this is my,
these are the last two episodes have been my favorite.
That's story, man.
All right.
I'll do, I was in the suburbs with my lady
a couple of weeks ago and we saw a garage moving sale
or it really depends on how you market it.
A garage sale, I don't really want anything from.
Would you do a yard sale?
Like you were out in the burbs?
If, if maybe I see like the thing that I need.
Actually, I meant to tell you, Kevin,
that I saw your post on Facebook looking for an air fryer.
I have a brand new, I mean, a regular deep fryer.
I have a brand new deep fryer in a box.
You have a deep fryer?
Deep fryer in a box.
And you're trying to make the sale on the air?
Oh my God.
Oh yeah, that's a private message.
Did you make a Facebook post to sell that?
No.
Did you try to sell it on a marketplace?
I keep meaning to, I keep meaning to.
And I haven't done it.
It's still just sitting there.
How do you get, did somebody come pick that shit up?
Yeah, man, my family got big into it during quarantine.
Oh my gosh.
They're like, you can get this on market.
I'm like, you're buying shit off people.
What are we doing?
We're in the middle of a pandemic.
Going to people's houses and buying new shit.
I've sold stuff on marketplace.
Oh my gosh.
It's pretty cool.
What have you sold on there?
I had like an extra coffee table when I moved apartments.
There was one already there.
So I sold the one I had previously
and an entertainment center.
Did you burn sage over the one that was there
to cleanse it?
Wait, you had an entertainment center?
Yeah, I had an extra coffee table
and an entertainment center.
Do you have an entertainment center in your home right now?
Yeah.
What?
Cause there was stuff left in the apartment
when I moved in.
What's this?
An entertainment center.
Hold on, hold on.
I got it.
I got it.
Big man, stand down, stand by.
All right?
I'm proud boy.
Go to our audio visual.
What, let's just loosely, you know, get into this.
What?
What does this entertainment center consist of?
Is there a cabinet involved?
Yes.
There's doors and drawers?
Yeah.
What's in them?
Right, to the one I currently have in my house.
There's, on the outside of it is like candles,
pictures of my friends.
And then I have like my cable box.
I have an Xbox.
Okay.
Like remote controls I don't use a lot
or in one of the cabinets,
batteries or in another cabinets.
That's it.
Do you have any of these JAS or DVDs in there?
No.
Is there a stereo system?
No.
Okay.
There was.
It's just a TV.
Yeah.
All right, all right.
I thought you had like subwoofers
and like your speakers going by.
There was.
Speakers behind the couch.
There was when I moved in.
And that was some of the stuff that I got rid of.
It was there when I moved in.
You got this place furnished.
There was some,
cause it's through somebody that I know.
So they were, like stuff they didn't want.
They left it like if you want to take it, if not.
Which is a trash move on their bar.
Next level trash on both parties.
Oh, you'd leave it if you don't want it.
It's like, I'm not doing your fucking job all of a sudden.
But you kept it or you got rid of it right then?
I kept one TV and I got rid of everything else.
How many TVs are in your house right now?
Three.
Ooh.
Do you eat dinner in front of the TV?
Yeah.
Okay.
On a TV tray?
No.
Okay.
No, I just like sit on my couch by my coffee table.
Okay.
Growing up, would you,
when you were having family dinner,
would it be in front of,
like would you eat in front of the TV
or would you sit down on the TV
off and sit around the, sit around the table?
Was that very structured?
I think we ate in front of the TV.
Yeah, I think.
They had family.
At the table though.
They had family ties right there.
At the table, that's great.
That's fucking 80s all the way, I love it.
I think that there were periods of time where they're like,
oh, let's pay more attention to the family
and spend like one night where we all sit
at the kitchen table.
So we did that sometimes.
Did you do Sunday night dinners with the pasta and all that?
Grandma's house, yeah, grandma's house.
It starts at like noon or whatever.
At three, at three, yeah.
I never understood that.
It finishes on Tuesday.
My Italian friends would be like,
yeah, I can't hang out today, I got dinner.
I'm like, it's fucking noon.
Dude, what do you mean you got dinner?
Fucking a bullshit as that.
It's 9.30.
Yeah, I'm asking if you want to go get a fucking
bacon egg and cheese.
I got an orange juice in my hand.
What are you talking about?
Holy shit.
All right, okay, that's very, very interesting.
Are you nice to your vegan now?
Yeah.
And how long has that been going on?
I've been vegetarian for a year and vegan for eight months.
Okay.
I mean, we've proven she's trash.
I can ask her if, before she was vegan,
did you use Miracle Whip or Hellman's Manny?
Hellman's.
Okay, so that's classy right there.
Yeah.
Yeah, I never saw a Miracle Whip in the house.
Were you a butter or a margarine family?
Butter.
Okay.
Leave that in the counter or put it in the fridge?
In the fridge.
Okay.
Which I, listen, I'm not gonna lie,
which I was a big fridge guy growing up with the butter
and I've recently changed my ways and realized that,
you know, on the counter is nice and respectable
and kind of classy in certain circles.
And I've been looking, I've been kicking around
at some fucking butter containers.
I might start doing it.
Doesn't it get too soft that way?
Too soft butter?
What are you talking about?
It's impossible.
It doesn't like, but like melty?
No, the salt keeps it together.
It just fucking holds it tight.
I don't know.
I've never done it before, but I'm curious.
It's like icing.
It's the best thing ever.
Yeah.
You're always overindulged to fucking
Schmiren English muffin.
Schmiren.
Schmiren.
It's in cream cheese.
Hey, Jacob, relax.
Well, yeah.
What'd you call me?
Jacob.
Wow, that's first Jewish name I could think of.
Schmiren.
Oh my.
All right.
What was the first concert you went to?
Okay.
The first...
Oh boy.
It's gonna be bad.
I wasn't allowed to go to concerts like as a kid.
And then I used to work at Hammerstein Ballroom
because I'm a bartender on the side.
I worked at Hammerstein Ballroom
and so I saw a lot of shows there,
but still had never gone to one.
The first official concert I went to was like six years ago.
And it was with my aunt though.
She brought me just with disclaimer.
It was Kid Rock.
Oh.
And I almost got it.
We almost got into a fight there actually.
With each other or other?
No, with other people.
Is this all scripted?
What's going on?
This is, Jesus.
Get the casting directors on the phone.
I only went because I think it was,
it was either Ario Speedwagon or Farner.
It doesn't help, it doesn't help, Shannon.
That's why I was like, oh, I'll go if we can see them.
I'm the last lap tour.
That's fucking even worse.
Ario Speedwagon.
Jesus.
I'd rather see Kid Rock than Ario fucking Speedwagon.
But that's the kind of music you're into.
You were into like rock.
Classic rock.
Personally, most of the concerts I've been to,
I've seen them both eight times.
I'm not gonna say the names,
you're not gonna know who they are,
but like singer-songwriters.
Like I like a person on stage with an acoustic guitar.
And that's it.
Who are they?
Plug them.
Who is it?
Edwin McCain, who you'll know from the song I'll Be
from the 2000s, like it's everyone's wedding song.
And then aimlessly,
which you might know from his remake of Sweet Pea.
Yeah, I know the name aimlessly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's my favorite.
Okay, that's good.
That's classy.
I wanna see the smallest singer-songwriters, nice.
These ants of yours, how many do you have?
Well, one that's like really around,
and it's my uncle's wife on my dad's side.
Do you call that ant by her real name,
or does she have a nickname?
Ant, funny.
No, and I don't call her ant.
Somebody has an ant, funny, yeah.
I don't call her ant because she came into my life
like a little bit late,
so I call her just by her first name.
I have this, like-
Is that trashier or classier?
What do you think?
It depends, yeah, it depends.
That's probably fine, if it's okay.
Because I call every ant an uncle.
I do accept her,
but only because she came into my life later.
But there are a lot of weird nicknames
because with the old school-
Check your seat, kid, rock.
Come on, let's do this.
With all the old school, like, guinea names,
like they're-
Yeah, why, Ramona, what do you got?
So my aunt, her name was Vincenza,
and it was Aunt Shirley.
I don't even remember why, yeah.
And then my grandmother's name is Gossamina,
and she goes by May.
Gossamina, wow, these are real fucking old school.
My uncle, I'm trying to think of what his original name was.
We call him Uncle Sunny.
I'm trying to, it's not, I want to say Vincenzo,
but I can't remember, it's been so long.
You can't remember your uncle's real name?
He's been dead for a long time.
Oh, okay, I was gonna say, otherwise,
he's not really your uncle.
Rest in peace, Uncle Sunny.
It's Uncle Sunny, yeah.
I had, it's funny, my family,
I have like 30, I don't even know how many cousins we have,
but my one, one of the older cousins of the crew,
I guess one day decided,
like I'm done with the aunts and uncles thing,
and it's like a real pride,
it's like a real respect thing in our family.
I'm surprised you don't go all the way down the line.
Your parents didn't make you.
We were at, thanks, something,
and he's like talking to my uncle, John,
he's like, that's a good point, John,
and it was like a record stop.
Everyone was like, what the fuck did you just do?
It was like, dude, and that was maybe 20 years ago,
and people still fucking break his balls about it.
You know, I see that on television a lot,
that whenever there's an aunt or an uncle,
they don't use that, like more recently,
and that is weird to me.
I think it might be, it might be phasing out a little bit,
everything's aunt and uncle.
No, I think that's important for the family unit,
and that was something my parents didn't even matter.
It could be, they could be dating the guy,
dating the lady, and I'm calling her fucking aunt, whatever.
You know what I mean?
Sure, aunts and uncles are still dating people,
what the fuck, you're 45 years old.
No, I'm saying when I was a kid,
they would say, hey, if I called them by their regular name,
one of my parents would stop me and be like, yo, have respect.
Even if it was some fresh piece that was coming around?
They're not like fresh, fresh,
not like the first time you show up to the graduation party,
but there's been a couple of Christmas presents.
Look at the stems on Blondie, huh?
There's been a couple of Christmas presents
or birthday cards exchanged.
I think that's really what happened.
Yeah, that's fair, because my wife came in as,
yeah, my wife came in as aunt.
Yeah, a couple of legos.
But it also depends on, if you're like a fucking 10 year old
calling on some chick you just met, Aunt Trish,
something's fucking wrong, not up in my house.
She's giving tubby time.
Can Aunt Trish tuck me in, you know what I mean?
All right, Hal, let's stay on track.
Interesting.
What do you got?
Have you ever dated a guy who's sold weed?
Yes.
Oh, how recently?
Like, it was just like, you're not gonna pin a date
on it or names.
It's in my 20s.
In your 20s, okay, I feel that's fair.
Was it like he was moving weight or nickel and dimes?
No, he was probably moving weight.
Man, you are garbage.
What do you think, she's fucking hanging out
with the street dealers?
What are you talking about?
I don't know what's worse, I don't know what's worse.
Middle management and up.
I don't know what's worse, dating a guy who sells
dying bags or dating a guy who's selling fucking
co-ops and shit.
Where would you guys go on vacation as a kid?
And where do you go on vacation now?
I don't remember, so when I was like five,
we went to Disney in Florida,
which was that, Florida world.
But I just know from pictures, I don't have any memory
really of that trip.
F5?
Yeah.
What are you drinking?
They start them slow in Brooklyn.
I remember seeing Mary Poppins,
but I don't know if that's a real memory
or just from pictures.
Or just from pictures, yeah.
But after that, I don't think we ever went anywhere.
I don't think we ever went on vacation now.
Even when the pops was making a little bit of cash?
Nope.
Brighton Beach, Breezy Point, something like that?
No, and I don't think that our parents
ever took us to the beach.
Like my aunts and uncles would take us to the beach,
my sister and I, I don't think my parents
ever took us to the beach.
What the fuck is that?
Brooklyn people, it's so city that they forget
that they're like literally a mile from the ocean.
It's like two different worlds.
Cause we all go out to like Fort Tilden
and stuff like that, like in the Rockaways.
And it's like, you get out there and you're like,
it's like in another fucking country.
It's crazy.
That's nuts.
Didn't take you to the beach.
What would you, was there a pool,
community pool in the summer?
Nope.
No, and it was only until like some of the family members
started to move out to Staten Island
and then they had pools, so we would go there.
Above ground, or in-ground pools.
There was a mixture, a mixture of the two.
Not like an above ground pool in Staten Island.
That's clean living right there.
Holy shit, one vacation when you were five
to Disney World, that's trash.
Well, we went to visit my mom's,
we went to visit my mom's family once in Maine
over the summer, yeah.
Okay.
And it's like real, like trailers,
like they live in trailers.
And they, my uncle, they went to,
they went lobstering and brought lobsters back to the house
and let the kids play with the lobsters.
We named them and everything.
Yeah.
And then they go like, come on.
We did that too with crabs.
That's real trashy when you're playing with dinner
in the back deck.
I've played with dinner before.
For sure.
I did lobsters last year.
We went up to Maine and we did lobsters
with Maine and some people in the house
and I was playing with them.
I was fucking 33 years old,
playing with lobsters in the kitchen.
Still in the Instagram post with them and shit.
Chasing out.
That's fucking trash.
And then you could just eat it after?
Yeah. Well, first of all, it's a crustacean.
They don't have central nervous systems
or like brain, you know,
or like memories or anything.
That's proven, isn't it?
I ain't got that shit either.
Whatever. I don't even want to eat Maine.
What? I'm with you.
I have to find a pretty big pot.
I have to put boiling water in your above ground pool
to cook you.
I can't tell you, I can't do octopus anymore either.
Plus it's like 40 in apps.
That's so smart.
You're doing bits over here?
That was pre-written because it bombed.
No, it wasn't.
Yeah, it was.
If you thought of that in the moment
and it came off the cuff, it would've killed.
You're not a good actor.
Anyway, CBD's kicking in over here.
What are you talking about?
Yeah.
All right, I got one.
Have you ever grown up?
New York's tough a little bit.
New York kids are tough.
As a teenager, did you ever spend time
like hanging at a gas station or a 7-Eleven?
Like did you have like a store convenience
or that you would hang out at like whatever?
Yeah, there were two spots.
One was like the school, what's this?
The schoolyard.
Okay.
We would hang out in the schoolyard.
That's normal, yeah.
Normal city.
But like at night, you know?
And then there was like a place like on the avenue
where like trucks would park, but it's like on the street.
It's not like a hidden place.
There was just like a few trucks would park there
and we would kind of hang out behind there.
Truck or trailers?
Yeah, kind of.
And there's like four of them, not a lot.
And then we would just like hang out in that area
so we can like drink our 40s, like a bunch of hoodlums.
Yeah.
Let's go about the trucks, see what it's a carry
and maybe call a binny.
Yeah, was it like a rest area of trucks?
No, it was just like kind of like a bigger parking lot,
like on the regular street
in a place where a store would be.
Yeah, there was just like this parking lot
and we would just hang out, yeah.
It's always gotta be tough for fucking New York kids
to like find shelter to smoke and drink and fucking,
you can't do it in the houses
because the house, it's all apartments are so tiny.
There's no spare space.
Like I was doing it in like finished basements and shit.
You know what I mean?
Living a life.
You ever get collared?
Ever get picked up?
No.
No, okay.
No, thankfully.
And back then it was, I don't know,
it was such a different thing back then
because there were times where like friends of mine
were like cops would be like, you know,
take it somewhere else or whatever
and everyone's like smoking joints and drinking, yeah.
You had connections on the force, that's great.
I think it was just, we weren't really causing trouble.
But yeah, back in the day, she was,
I mean, I remember one time we got pulled over,
the driver was fucking bombed
and there was like six of us in a fucking Pontiac grand damn
and the cop pulled us over in center city
and he's like, you guys are clearly fucked.
They're really like speeding and like sigs out the window
and like, it was just like, you're a fucking idiot
college kids and he goes, he goes,
listen, my shift is over at three in the morning.
When I get, he goes, this car better be here.
I'm coming back at the end of my shift
and if it's not, I'm fucking coming to lock you up.
Ah, that's great.
He's like parked the car, fucking go home,
come get it in the morning.
Old school.
Man, oh man.
I assume growing up in Bensonhurst and an Italian family,
you weren't fucking with like fast food a lot, right?
Or were you?
No, no, it would be like a special thing
where if we would like go to McDonald's or something,
you know, but yeah, it wasn't a lot.
This is a big one on the show.
In New York, we know what was the grocery store
you went to growing up.
So I actually couldn't remember the name of it.
And last night I put a Facebook post up
because a lot of people that live in my neighborhood
on Facebook and I asked them and I found it out
and it was called Super Duper.
Ooh, that is Super Duper Trash.
It's called Stereos too.
Super Duper, stereo and lunch meat this Sunday.
Yeah, it wasn't a chain.
It was just like a mom and pop grocery store.
Super Duper.
I didn't think it was franchise.
Yeah, they definitely didn't have a marketing department
either.
Super Duper.
Later to become Met Food, it is now Met Food.
What is Met Food any good?
What the fuck is that?
That sounds like they sell life insurance.
Met Food is it's real cheap.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What do you go to now?
So actually, that's the only,
because I don't drive, because I'm from New York.
Yeah.
Do you have a license?
I have a license, but I can't really drive.
What was the last time you driven?
When I passed my road test and I was 23, I'm 38.
Oh my God.
Jesus.
That's crazy.
Would you be nervous to drive a car?
Terrified.
If I don't, I'm not sure which is the gas
and which is the brake.
Yeah, let's lay off that.
Yeah, I'll get you an Uber home, all right,
but he's a straight.
Wait, what was the question?
Where do you shop now?
Yeah, so there's a Met Food with walking distance
to my house.
And then, so if I need something quick, that's where I'll go.
Otherwise, I just order my groceries from Instacart.
Instacart's nice.
I pay you for like a Trader Joe's Whole Foods.
Sometimes they do Whole Foods through Amazon.
Yeah.
I just discovered that over the quarantine.
Yeah, it's nice.
It's really good.
Plus, if you have Prime, it's like free delivery
and you can't consider something.
Yeah, within four hours.
It's freaking amazing.
Yeah, interesting.
Sometimes the guy's like, yeah, we can deliver.
He's like, you know, we can deliver this to you.
And like, before you get home, it'll be there.
I felt so stupid and antiquated.
I'm like, what?
Am I the only asshole still food shopping?
Yeah, I do, but I'll tell you what,
I'm too crazy or too fat or too whatever.
I don't trust that at all.
I wanted to go to the grocery store myself.
Get your hands on the goods.
Yeah, I don't want you picking out my fucking box
of fruity pebbles.
I don't know why, I just don't.
Aside from produce, where like you want to look at the fruit
or the vegetables that you buy,
if you're just getting stuff in boxes and stuff,
why does it matter?
But you don't like the chicken.
I don't know what they're doing to it on the way over there.
You know, some dirt bag, thing of raw chicken.
You get your order delivery food all the time.
Sure, but that's cooked.
Okay, I got one.
What was the last, I got two.
What was the last meal you cooked?
I mean, it's stupid vegan bullshit now.
It'd be like quinoa and vegetable, you know, it's just,
yeah, it's not, it's just stupid.
Vegan frozen dinners, cause they're pretty garbage.
I've had like a vegan frozen pizza.
Man, that's, just eat a fucking pizza.
What are we doing?
This is a really good one from Whole Foods.
It was a really good one.
The vegan thing's really pulling you out of the fire here.
Yeah, because that's tough.
It really prevents you from being way more garbage.
It's like you build a fucking wall that we can't get above.
But the MET road place or whatever.
MET food, super duper.
Come on out and meet the MET, it's just a big MET.
I would have stuck with super duper, that's better.
No, that's where it was when I, when I lived there.
It was super duper.
I got one for you.
Do you sneak snacks into the movie theater
when you do go to the movie theater?
No, I think I've snuck alcohol in before though.
I respect that.
In a water bottle.
Fast and loose.
Did we ask her to brush in the teeth?
We did, yeah, she said no.
Remember you have to Google about the temperature
in the water later.
Yeah, yeah, right, okay.
It's cold, cold's better.
Yeah, for sure.
That was our voice from the ADA.
Surgeon General coming in hot, I love it.
Let's do it.
You wanna do the big one that we've been talking?
Let's do it.
Yeah, all right.
Since you didn't ask the way I asked the previous question.
Okay, it's been a thing last week.
Kevin dropped a bombshell.
All right, I've known this guy 12 years
and all of a sudden out of nowhere,
he asks if you take leftovers home.
And it turns out that Kevin thinks it's trashy
to take leftovers and doesn't under any circumstances
take leftovers from a restaurant.
How do you, Shannon Lee, feel about that statement?
I am.
Yeah, well talk about leading the fucking witness.
I'm sorry.
How is that not more?
Yeah, I asked Becky Oh, do you take a doggy bat
and you're like, bullshit, bullshit,
you're fucking leading him.
It's a doggy.
All right, here's the story.
This piece of shit over here.
Fucking cocksucker.
What do you think about leftover?
Call your ex-boyfriend and fucking punch him in the head.
Would I have any shot fighting this guy?
No.
All right, fair enough.
No, this one's a rough one.
I will all of them actually, they're all pretty rough.
Would he beat up me and Foley?
Probably, right?
He did, I mean.
It's only because like,
you fucking don't chicken nugget it,
you'll be distracted.
He has so much.
I'll be blowing the guy.
What are you talking about?
Yes.
You're gorgeous.
Did he come here often?
What kind of car did he drive?
How about that?
At the time we started dating, it was a...
Night rider?
What's, is it a Ford charger?
What makes charger?
Dodge.
Dodge charger.
That's a feature.
It's a big, CO, cop, fireman car.
Cause they make good, they make good fucking coin.
Don't run your mouth to anybody drive
one of those at a red light.
That are like, that are like one of like the explorers
that's like kind of like Matt Black and they got like...
He switched to a Jeep.
Yeah, they think, but they decked the Jeeps out.
You see one of them.
Cause I live by a police station, dude.
It looks like a fucking, looks like a Ford parking lot.
Oh, and then a Jeep, one of those gas tanks in the back.
They're scary too.
Oh yeah.
I was done to his Jeep, now embarrasses me
that he puts that much energy and thought into his car.
Oh yeah, that's a real charger.
Like there's like a, like a community of Jeep owners.
Oh Jeep, that's a thing.
It's a Jeep fit and they have a secret wave.
They have a secret wave.
I remember the first time my buddy
did that bullshit in a Jeep.
I was like, what?
What are you fucking over?
Let me out of here.
You're a fucking jerk.
You're waving to other Jeep people?
I kind of get it.
I mean, it's gotta be a thing
cause Jeep people, they do it.
You know what I mean?
My brother got a Jeep and just started doing.
It's the weirdest thing.
Ah, it's fucking lame.
I got a Mercury Montego 2005.
Give each other the finger.
Yeah.
It's just me changing each other's car.
It's me and a bunch of old people.
Moray.
So do you, back on track leftovers.
Yeah.
Do you take them or not?
Yeah, I take them because usually it's like,
I don't know, I don't like to eat like
a tremendous amount of food in one shot.
Okay.
So let's say I get half way through it.
I don't want to waste all of this food.
So I'll take it home.
And then there's like a 50-50 chance.
If I eat it later that night, then that's a thing.
If I don't eat it later that night,
it'll sit in my fridge for like three days
and then I'll end up throwing it out.
Okay.
Because it's trash.
You'll end up just throwing out trash
that you should've thrown out fucking three days ago.
Thank you very much.
But I might eat it that night.
What are you nodding your head at?
Wait Dylan, you're an anti-leftover too?
So the one part of the argument,
I think everyone forgets what Kippies is.
The idea to go to a restaurant.
This is where he won me over.
You go to a restaurant, you spend the money.
I want to just get up and leave.
It's an experience.
Then you're also the asshole
like carrying a bag around or whatever.
Like it just doesn't make.
So you are.
You're an anti-leftover.
Anti-leftover is it?
Wow.
I'm okay with it.
My thing too, it's like everybody got mad at me.
He goes, dude, it's fucking.
If you take up half a burger
and you put it on the fucking thing, it's so far.
I'm not saying you don't find it good.
That is not what I'm saying.
There's a difference between good and fucking classic.
I think it's great.
Heroin is good.
People do heroin and they're trash.
If you're eating literal trash,
that if you, they're going,
we're going to throw this out.
Trashes and trash don't, it's in the trash can.
I see people don't take leftovers.
They're going, we're going to throw this away
if you don't want to take it home.
And if you want to take garbage home and eat it,
if not, we'll throw it away.
I have a question.
Are you also against leftovers at home?
No, it's very different.
What the fuck?
That's also trash.
No, it's not.
One because Shannon just fucking blew your mind.
You don't think I got it out for that?
This guy's a fraud.
He's a fucking fraud.
You don't think I got a fucking reasoning for that?
I made it just for the business.
What I'm thinking about that?
You use restaurant to go container.
You wrap it up in a bag and put it in.
Can you wrap this up for me?
I'm going to take this to the fridge.
No, when you cook, you don't cook.
When you order, you order one portion for yourself.
Regardless of the size of that portion, it's a portion.
You're not cooking three pieces of chicken or whatever.
You never just cook one portion of food for yourself.
I do.
You're cooking.
Yeah, that's not necessarily true.
You're a single person.
Okay, but yeah, okay, but if I, okay,
so let's put it this way.
If I made one chicken breast at home, let me finish.
If you're making more than you're going to eat,
you're looking for leftovers.
I got news for you, buddy.
You're a leftover.
I'm not going to make one serving size of pasta.
I'm going to make a thing of pasta
that's completely fucking different.
And if you can't wrap your dumb head around that,
that's insane.
I'd be so pissed
if somebody made a single portion of pasta.
Yeah, of course, that's why.
But if you make, fuck, if I do make one piece of chicken,
right, and fucking nine string beans,
and at the end of that,
there's one bite of chicken and two string beans left,
I'm not putting that in the fridge.
I'm throwing that away.
That's not enough for another meal.
Half a cutlet.
When you order something at a restaurant,
it's a big, most of the time, it's a pretty big portion.
For sure.
So if you have a significant amount left,
I feel like as long as it's enough
where you can have another meal out of it,
then it's okay to save it.
You know, I just disagree.
It's just trash.
I think it's a part of the experience.
I love the idea of leftover.
You're garbage.
What is this?
You are trash.
The idea that it's not,
the idea that you like it,
you also clean the fucking toilet bowl with toilet bowl.
You clean the toilet too.
That's the second time you mention that today
on this broadcast.
But you're trash.
Just because you like it doesn't mean-
I'm a cheerer.
You walk with cheeseburgers.
Yeah, it doesn't mean the thing is not trash.
It's trash.
Is it enjoyable for a lot of people?
Sure.
But it's fucking, like I said, I eat microwaves hot dogs.
What if it's shaped like a swan?
That's a little different.
I gotta give you that.
Little lobster thermidor?
Come on.
And a lot of people say they take it on for a dog
or a homeless person or a person on the street,
which is very respectable.
I ain't giving my dog a lobster, I'll tell you that.
You can't afford lobster.
Wow.
What an episode.
It's been great.
What are we thinking here?
Is there like a meter, a percentage?
Sometimes we'll give out a percentage.
You're royalty at this point.
I would like a percentage.
You're royalty.
Yeah, I mean, the fucking Dayton Juice Heads
who were fucking cracking skulls and stuff,
and I ain't helping you, sweetheart.
I mean, if we had to do a number of percent,
I would say 80%.
Trash?
Yes, of course.
Because now you're doing, you're different.
Yeah, I would say in the 70s or 80s for sure.
I mean, the fact that you're vegan pulls you out
a lot of bad, pulls you out of a lot of bad possibilities.
They really just kind of stops the conversation there
because that's a classic thing, whatever,
or at least prevents you from being more garbage.
But you came up, you had like a good upbringing,
you know what I mean?
Parents stayed together, fucking good neighborhood,
school, everything like that, it seems that's all good.
Like you're not from trash, right?
But somewhere along the way, you got a little,
rough around the edges.
Yep.
And the way you fight, the way you revel
in your fucking gorilla boyfriends beating people up
is insane.
Jen, you've cleaned blood off dude's fucking loafers before.
You know what I mean?
These are your new Aldos.
One of my exes when I used to work,
he used to bounce at the bar that I bartended at.
And he came in from a fight
and I had to like disinfect his knuckles with vodka.
I mean, unless you're, unless you're-
No, you didn't.
Swear to God.
On my eyes.
No, you didn't have to use vodka.
Yeah.
It's but a bit of betters of the story.
I'm sure it was a first fucking aid kit in that place.
Yeah.
Pour a little pop off on it.
You could have got some hydrogen peroxide.
It wasn't close by.
But it's not as sexy as a bottle of great goose.
Yeah.
Top shelf, get the goose.
Babe, you don't only touch Belvedere goose.
He definitely had a smoke in the other hand too.
Smoking while you're patching them up.
He probably did.
You ever give stitches to anybody?
No.
What's your fucking mouth doctor?
Not that far.
Do you ever, do you ever take a bullet on anybody's haunt?
Are you fucking wacko?
I mean, this has been fan fucking.
This has been one of my favorite episodes as well.
Yay.
Holy shit.
Couple of hot ones coming at you, gang.
That was fucking the fun.
She's a murderer.
What would you like the folks out there to know?
That I'm trying to do better.
No, I don't mean that.
I know.
We should have the redemption,
garbage redemption moment.
Also, write in it.
Maybe, Shannon, I'll take you out on a date.
Write in with the, show a picture of the last guy
you beat up.
And maybe, just maybe, you can take Shannon out
and take leftovers.
Or show your knuckles after.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Either one is fine.
Listen to my podcast, The Thing Is.
Ding.
We talk about bad dates, fighting and ghosts
and both of the hosts have been on the show.
Yeah, we've done it.
It's a fantastic show.
It's on the guest, there's a network.
Check it out.
Yeah, it's awesome.
And follow me on Instagram at ShannonLee6982.
That's it.
Thank you so much.
This was amazing.
We really got the folks out there to know.
As always, please make sure you rate,
review, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
Subscribe there as well.
Those numbers are fucking through the roof.
We appreciate it.
Well over 6,000 subscribers at this point.
Also, oh, I forgot to plug this last time.
There's very active Facebook groups, Reddit, subreddits.
Yes, you guys are fucking awesome.
And a Discord, which I'm not really sure what it is,
but the kids are on it.
They invited it to me.
I pop in every now and then.
So check those out.
We appreciate that.
I catch the Facebook posts.
They kill me.
Yeah, I mean, it's like, people are posted.
There's like 50 posts a day.
It's very active.
We're all on the same page.
It's so funny.
It's all in the, like this was, I mean, come on.
Yeah.
This was awesome.
This was great.
So check it out, everybody.
Thank you so much.
I'm at Kevin Ryan Comedy on all social media.
You can follow me there.
We post, you know, we post clips of the show
and other funny stuff that garbage things that I do.
Yes, sir.
Guys, again, thank you so much.
We love you and we will see you next week.
Peace. Peace.