Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Shaving with Shampoo w/ Kippy & Foley
Episode Date: August 7, 2023Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live ...show! NEW TOUR DATES: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ This Show is sponsored by BetterHelp Better Help: https://www.BetterHelp.com/GARBAGE Get 50% off your 1st box by going to https://factormeals.com/Garbage50 and use code GARBAGE50 Harry's: https://www.harrys.com/garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?
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Gang the stage trashy tour is coming to a city near you.
Stand up comedy plus we play the Liy G with the crowd.
Shows are selling out and you can get your tickets at RUGARBAGE.com.
See you there!
Welcome to another exciting edition of...
Are you garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals?
Or absolute trash?
Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey
everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast. This is
Are You Garbage? Hey, so I will show we sit down with your favorite
comedians and we find that I think you're to be classy. Uh-huh. Just a big
old piece of trash. I'm your host own states really coming at you on a beautiful day
We're out back here at toodies in the new edition. Mm-hmm. Just saw her walking around upstairs with a pair of juicy shorts on
Okay, you see nothing really yikes. I don't know what she's doing girls got a dump her
What she fourth cousin? Oh god damn
Whoo-wee my co-host is coming at you from across the table. This is a family episode, just a bozo,
just a homies and a boys.
Yeah.
Kippy Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
What up gang?
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you're right with you
subscribe on iTunes, full video available on YouTube.
As you know, those numbers are...
Shruder-Roof!
Kicking!
Great.
Obviously, the greatest website of all time,
baby, you said it once, you said it a thousand times.
WWE, WWE, that Patreon, thatcom slash, are you garbage? Next to the second best website of all time, baby, you said it once, you said it a thousand times, WWE, WWE, that Patreon, that comes, slash, are you garbage?
Next to the second best website of all time,
www.areyougorbitch.com,
you go over there and get all your tickies for the stay trashy
tour gang and tickets are moving.
Some tickies, some teas, some zippo style
lighters.
Uh-huh, not bad there.
Some T-shirt style T-shirts.
Some T-shirt style clothes.
Can't legally call them clothes.
We call them fabrics.
How about a nice quick shout out to our producer, X Short and Air.
Good pal, the magic man.
Give it up for Toby T-bone, McMullen.
What up, boys?
What's up, pal?
You know what merch we got to get into?
What's that?
Pre-cut off sleeves and pre-cut-off shorts.
I think we got a big market for that, but see,
that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's,
that's a grungy guy yourself.
That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's,
that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's,
that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's,
that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's,
that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's,
that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's,
that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's,
that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, That's how you knew it was a fresh pair of cutoffs because it was in frayed. It took a long summer. I hated that. What?
Rolling around looking like oh dude March to May look at your real bozo. Yeah, you look like a little British kid
But they were worth it come August. I don't know. I never I never had the heart to let them fucking fray on their own
I would be there with tweezers or something fucking pull a fraying on myself. I did do that in C Isles. Never liked that stuff and I also wasn't a big fan of the the the
fadenum when you get them pre-faded or whatever what are they called? Yeah.
So for the action you like to wear out your own ass in a pair of pants. I did a
job myself. Hey let me stink these up on my own. I don't need someone
appreciating in my pants. Man, these jeans I got on now.
My biggest fear in life right now is that someone,
somehow they're gonna end up in a washing machine.
Because if they do, the party is over.
Yeah, you've really been wearing those things.
And those things are wide around the ankles.
I thought they were sweatpants when you first gave in.
Those things got a bounce till on big guy.
I'm debating, I'm debating them getting them tailored at the at the ankle so they can
be a little more skinny gene.
But I'm not going back to those joggers, those fat guy joggers.
I think I'm doing my best saving those for when you can jog.
No, I don't want to go back.
Sure.
Cause I'm over the belly. You lifted up, I didn't want to say nothing. Sure. Because I'm over the, I'm over the belly. You lift it up.
I didn't want to say nothing. You lift it up. Your shirt pre-show. That is, you got a lot crammed
in that waistband. Well, here's the, yeah, and that thing is doing this. This does the job. The
other one, it, it puffs out even more. Look like fatty arbuckle walking around. So I'm really trying
to, to, to maintain and maintain and keep this going down.
So I don't got to go back to the to the elastic to the joggers.
Yeah. Yeah. You're in a nice set of Dungaree.
Like a goddamn cowboy out here in your Wranglers.
What brand are you knocking around with?
These are true religion.
Is that right? That's not right.
Yeah, it is. That is a pair of jeans.
They are all your faith is in the button.
That's not right. Yes it is.
That is a pair of jeans.
Because all your faith is in the button.
Ah, the band.
And the name of the father, the son, and the holy denim.
Let's go.
Forgive me, father, for I have sinned.
They are, they're true religion.
Those aren't.
Yes they are.
The religion have the pockets, the horseshoe pockets, right?
Horseshoe pockets. They're not not true religion I'm telling you okay well check it afterwards get a
Google on how big I need a team of guys on how big true religion gets you can tell true
religion by the pockets I believe one of those 82 30s you got one number right but I'm
not going to tell you which one.
You just started yelling out zip codes
and that's worked somehow.
These are probably 46-30s, I would say.
Maybe 52s, I'd have to look.
50 doos.
Yikes.
Your pants are rectangles, man.
You're rocking 50 doos.
I got them at the DXL a few summers ago
And they didn't fit me all last year, but they I squeezed into them when we went to the the fourth of July
Premiere
The movie
Mr. Louis CK and Joe led Mr. Joe list fantastic film if you haven't seen it, but you know, that's a that's a who's who affair
So I squeezed my low ass into a fucking pair of jeans.
I was dying the whole time.
Squeeze that little ass into a chair, dude.
Dude, I was, oh yeah, that's right, remember.
I made my wife sit next to you.
She's smaller frame, that's also a big guy.
But yeah, and that was it.
That was, cause that was, I was,
I was starting to creep a little bit.
So I wasn't, I, I, I never went back to them after that.
I just hung them up.
And then I pulled them out a couple of weeks ago, as you know, and have not stopped wearing
them.
Cause they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they,
they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they,
they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they,
they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they,
they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they,
they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they,
they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they,
they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they,
they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they,
they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, It's funny, there is a fat guy, six cents,
where I know that I'll fit into something
that I haven't fit into in a long time.
Sure.
I for summary, you wake up in the morning,
something feels different.
A t-shirt catches your eye.
Yeah, I can get in there.
I bet I can get in there.
Two, three puffs out.
I'm in there.
There.
One of those.
One of those.
Skip breakfast, yep.
You can get into it.
I know it very well.
It's weird. That's not, I'm not fucking around. I. He can get into I know it very well
That's not I'm not fucking around. I'm down to three pounds this shirt never I you haven't seen this shirt in quite a while
Okay, this came back because you typically with some fucking that's I'm like a goddamn keger reader Yeah, it's like a motherly instinct. You just kind of know I saw it folded in the pile of God
Let me give her a shot
Bottom of that drawer see what's happening down there.
Smells like mouth balls and shit.
See if she'll dance with me one more time.
Yeah, I know.
Let's put your hand down.
There it is.
What do you got in the true religion?
Nothing in that size.
The year full of shit.
It's trying to get true religion.
True religion, GDXL.
See if they even sell that there.
That's probably a better thing.
That could be a custom mod, you know what I mean?
Could be aftermarket. I got a prototype here. I could be a custom mod, you know what I mean? Could be after market
I got a prototype pair
I wonder what those drones have been following me around oh
Buddy things got a tracking device. They got him. Yeah, okay
Trunation no, no, no, that's my brand. That's my brand. Oh, no, I'm sorry. You know what these are luckies
They're lucky gene lucky. They've closed
Okay
True nation is my brand over there. They're great true religion is like the that's like a friction t-shirt
That's I knew you weren't wearing true religions. It's lucky. I apologize
Okay, that I might give you see do I sell lucky jeans at the XL. Yeah, they so lucky So watch that poof dude that's fucking
We're about to marry someone in Vegas. What are you doing?
Hang on there, baby. That's got to come down a little bit
You got to check the specs on it. There you go. A little more. Yeah
Yeah, they sure do about the dionatoid. There you go. All right, so you got a pair of luckies
I got a pair of luckies at DXL size 52 30?
These weren't she I mean days on DXL. They ain't doing any favors over there. Those guys are moving reams of fabric, dude
Those dudes are moving
Hey charge in arm and a leg over there. Bullies putting them on like he's playing roulette. Come on, baby
I never never try on fucking pants at a place.
It's too hot.
I, I, there has to be specific moments
where I'm back into a corner and I got like a wedding.
And for me to walk into that booth,
whoo, it takes a lot.
And then I'll knock out a couple of things,
but I go in in shorts and I go in in a pair of crocs.
I want to be in and out.
I let him know you got some money.
Huh.
Huh.
Huh.
Huh.
I'm not just, I'm not just window shop,
and I came to play.
I need to wear these out.
Huh.
Yeah.
Okay, what's the set of luckies go for over there?
Sixty-seven, he's might have been 110,
to be honest with you.
One-fifteen.
One-fifteen.
89. I'm telling you, I'll get my money's worth, that it is thing. 1670 he's might have been 110 to be honest with you. 115, 189.
I'm telling you, I've got my money's worth
that it is thing.
Get that done to a dollar aware baby.
It's a price per wear when you're investing in a garment.
Would I tell you what, they make a fine product
because the crotch hasn't given out yet.
Yeah, they probably, it's reinforced with steel.
It's a weld in here.
It's fucking, you got a machine,
you got a chain mail in that thing.
I got to pay maintenance fees.
They come in blasted out.
Dig weld it.
Things shark proofs.
Do you be wearing them in the ocean?
I'm sure.
A bite resistant.
I can't say bite proof, but it's bite resistant.
Yeah, that's good.
You're looking good.
You're walking around. You're two little press hands in the back. Fucking., but it's by resist. Yeah, that's good. You're looking good.
You're walking around.
You're two little pressed hands in the back.
Fucking yeah, it's tight though.
After a couple hours of sitting down, man, I really have a mark there.
That looks real strange.
Yeah, you look like I was skydiving or something.
Got to a car accident.
Seatbelt got me.
Yeah, it's bad news.
That's good though.
Yeah, he's are trending in the positive in the in the right direction. though. Yeah. Things are trending in the positive in the in the right direction.
Sure. Sure. Things are trending in the positive direction. Um, I had a quiet.
I saw this the other day, somebody wrote something out to me. Um, do you know anybody or
did anybody in your family? I could see maybe the peace doing this real classy move.
You cross your sevens at all. Oh, I tried it once. I did try it. At some point,
I remember being like, I'm going to be I think I even put a little hat on them too. You
know what I mean? Like the little hat. Like I think I think I had a drop down and a T.
I was pretty slow summer. Right in Old English. St. Tomato.
Get beat up.
I think I did do it at some point.
Maybe they taught it or something, but I'm not that guy.
It's a classy thing.
Yeah.
Real classy.
I don't know what the point of it is though.
It's like script.
Like, you know, it's like an old font.
People used to write in script.
But what do you think?
What do you think?
What do you think people think it's an L?
I don't understand.
What do you need to put that through down maybe he needed arms back in it?
It looks like a backward F
You know you can only think about that to differentiate between the number seven and the number one
Cuz people would do the old school one you have the little top on it. Oh, I guess if you had top on the one
You got to cross your set T-bones top in the ones and cross in the seven my ones are eyes
I was even too lazy when they were doing that to do the
The slice and then the down and then put the put the the stand on it get the fuck out of here. You're getting an eye
That's it. I'm not it. Yes dot his ones over here and I confuse the shit out of somebody the other day at
Every day you encounter a human at CVS guy was they walk away a little dumber
I was trying to see if my scripts are ready and I was get a pair of lucky's back there
I was giving them my phone number and I kept saying nine one I can't I kept using oh instead of zero sure
I'm an oh man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah big old. Yeah big. Oh, I didn't realize until late in the game like 20s that oh
Was in zero.
Wait, what do you mean on the phone?
What do you mean?
No, no, I knew that, but like,
that there was like,
How'd you get a hold of anybody?
That O isn't casually yes, it is a replacement for zero.
I didn't say zero, I told my 20s, I'm saying.
Yes.
Until I realize of like no.
I never say zero, it's too many syllables. It's too long
He got stuff to do six to oh oh nine nine. Mm-hmm always nine here too. Hit him with a nineer sure
Real mature
I
Got some that went to the moldy other day yesterday
I'm all up there in a
Time you get beat up Skids are real who against these days. I had to poop at the mall. It was bad. This wasn't the story
Still still what it's still bad. I figured the malls would be nice. There's nobody in there
That's all the fuck they're trying to try to get the business in there. Yeah, I'm not starting the bathrooms
I'll tell you that now. I was it was
It was an away game for sure not good
It was, it was, it was an away game for sure.
Not good.
Lotta, lotta pre-work had to be done for me to even sit down.
It was, yeah, it's all the seat.
Shitting the New York.
Get the water turned back on. Uh, my thing is, I don't know, uh, man, I have this mall.
It was a little bit of a fancier mall.
Didn't know, just showed up.
It was a, we were going to, uh, can you hit us with a name? The white, uh, have this mall. It was a little bit of a fancier mall didn't know just showed up was that we're going to
Can you hit us with a name the white white planes mall?
Ah the white planes mall or the mall in white planes. I don't know the name of it. It's nice
It's like Louie Vuitton sure fucking like high-end shit. I feel like that's the only type of store people go out to now
I gotta tell you it's the most it's the most crowded mall. It looked like a mall in the 1990s.
I feel like malls are coming back.
People wanna get out of the house, the air conditioning.
I don't, plus they put those, you know,
they put like a Dave and Busters or a movie theater in there.
You're drawing a crowd.
Not, I mean, yeah.
They got the paintball places, laser tag.
That's a, you're shooting,
if you're shooting paintballs in a mall,
that's a bad sign for the mall. That means means I'm not saying it's not a good time
But that means the mall is in Booman arrow past dolls not setting up shop next to the fucking shooting range
There's you know what I mean they're there because that's all they if they're selling hot tubs in your mall your jammed up
There's one of the flaming meaning while you could you it's like target friend killer guy you should be
40 bucks to drown step right up step right in half price water board oh it's Terry you don't mind all right I take my break he's gonna be rock hard
but just ignore it showing up to work that for the first day and that.
Yikes.
Thought I was gonna be in a dunk tank.
I'll tell you, this is better than the medical experiments.
You can tell when malls are doing well
when they have that shit in the 90s,
they didn't have that really,
because the malls were booming.
Listen, of course, things have changed.
The marketplace has changed for brick and mortar
in the suburban areas.
However, that's when you know they're trying.
They got to put those attractions in there.
And I tell you this place, it was you.
Dude, they get a guy with three BB guns
who's gonna give him 200 bucks a month
and they go have at it.
They're not checking insurance.
Come on down to Carl's black side.
Yeah.
Have you ever wanted to go to Gimmo?
Come on down to the mall. Hey, you got a new pair of sneakers. I get my fingernails ripped out
Listen, it is a BB that that was my point there BB. He did it in Albany. Yes
Yeah, now what's the stop somebody from just turning around and fucking open it up with BBs?
Those things sting. I think it's a game of trust you're playing
You know, I think that guy has a BB going on to okay somebody gets squirrely
I think it's a game of trust you're playing. You know what I think that guy has a BB gun on him too.
Okay, somebody gets squirly.
Gotta put him down.
He's definitely got to put in.
So he's got to activate it before it.
But it's put in too.
Thoken.
Hey, money's money.
Yeah, that's the malls are tough, but this one is.
What are you doing over there?
I was sniffing around for a cinnabon.
No, this is my beef.
It the food court.
It was like I was in Soho. It was like Acai bowl.
There was no, there wasn't one fast food.
Now, the closest thing to like fucking sitin' down
and gettin' after a food mall food court was a shake-shack.
That was slummin' it.
Fuck that.
It was all like,
wraps and juice ball, and I'm like, what the fuck?
This is a mall in America, baby.
Give me some A&E.
The problem with that is there no name ones.
It's like a weird name.
It was like Jerry's rap.
I was just gonna say it.
Yeah, it was all that shit you never heard of.
Yeah.
I'm like, what are we doing here?
Then you ask around like,
oh, we're big in the Midwest.
And then probably in the Midwest,
you're like, oh, we're big and fucking,
yeah, we're big out there.
It's like three of them.
Yeah, it's fucking bullshit.
I don't like it at all. You got, listen, you got a good old days when you, I mean, I'll big and fucking yeah, we're big. I'm like, three of them. Yeah, it's fucking bullshit. I don't like it at all.
You got, listen, you got a good old days when you,
I mean, I walk and roll a sparrow at Danes belly,
or Danes, Danes, Delly, Bains, Delly, Bains, Bains.
That was something I was running and going near that.
So no name Chinese spot, the number one dynasty or whatever,
something walking roll, baby.
Sure, but even then, walking roll, I feel was newer.
There was walking rolled in, there was the Japanese spot.
They're the ones that handed out to chicken.
The Chinese and Japanese in my mall back would have the fucking
prayful of them.
Man, the best friends.
You gotta have an anti-ange,
you gotta have some sort of ice cream spot up to you.
You choose.
Sure.
Uh,
the none of that, none of that.
And I was in the mall and we were shopping for fucking furniture,
which I fucking dated at a mall.
Dude, there's a fucking Pier one,
there's a fucking Creighton barrel,
there's all this fancy, an R house,
all this fancy shit my wife's dragging me to where I'm going.
Fucking, it's a check Facebook marketplace for two treat things.
I'll be in the massage chair.
Ha ha.
Um, now my saving grace was fucking,
let's hit the food court. the food court have a nice dump
I had a fucking salad at the mall like a goddamn communist it fucking sucked. I was furious. They can be good though
not
Come on when you're picking out give me this give me that get load up with that
That's sesame dressing
Yeah, it's delicious and be good, but that's not when you want to have a salad at the mall.
What would you have liked, Tubby?
I'd go subaro, I'm a subaro, man, at a mall.
I love subaro.
I've never claimed to have a fancy palette.
Man, two huge slices of subaro is a big fucking, a big coke.
Woo.
You want to hear a true story?
I'm going to tell you right now.
I might have already told you this.
What?
Never had a subaro.
That was off limits to the Foley I'd we mentioned bucks a slice never
Now you're nuts. I loved it. I feel like all their slice that broccoli on them too. They did they were heavy
They're thick. They're thick. They were heavy in the topping
They're regular slices. Oh no, they're huge. Yeah, yeah, whack it to broccoli size size of your head
It was fantastic. I loved
them. I love them. I would have one. I fucking love that shit. Now, please a Friday's a
sabara easy peasy. I grew to hate them because I could never have it. Well, I know what
we're doing next time. We're in a fucking airport. Their so does always look really good.
They had those like old school Italian pizza reacups. They were all right wax cups size. You're fucking head
My brother would stand there off to the side looking at him people getting so much of my fat ass. Yeah, yeah
I'm right with our rags on dirt on her face guys looking through the mall the window. Yeah, yeah, all right
We'll split in orange Julius that we didn't have that way in my mall shot at the oxer Valley mall
Or was it like Lafamilia or something was another big one Lafamilia pizza
Right, which I know my way around wanted them to sweet as well. Yeah, I think the Shaminy Mall had a
Lafamilia and oxer Valley Mall out of fucking had the subarrows still there probably
They're fucking they sign 99 year leases, I think.
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Crazy you know the salad huh? I was fucking furious. It's like who wants to you know, it's like that's that's your escape
This is fucking I can't you can't get a can't get a shitty meal to fucking I feel like the gloves should be off in the malt too Everybody should look the other way. There's gotta be it. There's gotta be two tree treats
There's gotta be stop at the food court. Yeah, I love that stuff love hitting the nannies with the you got the kids with your something like that
Going there on the cover of darkness. I got them pretty kids. Yeah, I'm pushing them out of the way. I got this dozen for the kids
You know, I thought.
Uh, yeah, it was fucking, it was a kickin' a dick.
So what happened in the bathroom?
I mean, it was shit.
What do you want, fucking go into detail?
What do you mean?
It wasn't great.
It was fucking like a stadium toilet.
There was, yeah, it was a band.
I do not do well. There was three stalls and two of them were taken so it was like
You know it wasn't fantastic. I don't want I don't want to get this is you know a family show time time program
I'm talking potty humor or above that but it wasn't great
What they have which I don't think I've ever had I went to once was a a PF Changs. That was real, hoidi, toidi stuff for us.
Do you ever do a PF?
I mean, you were older.
I was in high school.
I've never been to a PF Changs, but I was, this was, this is like less than 20 years ago,
when the mall started selling the parking lot is when those places
popped up for me when they would when they started putting restaurants in the parking lot.
That those were every once in a while those are as those things were spread out.
My family went to one every time.
I'm not articulating that right.
Okay.
So first place of the open up is the P F Changs.
Everybody went there for like a year.
That got old news.
Then they threw in like a bone fish grill.
Bone fish.
No, who loves a bone fish grill?
The piece.
Shout out to Denise.
The man we're going to Banefish.
Sure.
He's got an order and I guarantee she gets the same thing every single time. Yeah
Yeah, there's another one too that not the red lion. There's some steakhouse or something like that. I don't know
Yeah, yeah those every day they all had their moments
But we I remember cuz we you know Apple bees was was our cup of fucking tea and then that seemed too fancy
There was I remember like out, they had the one that,
and also all the Jewish girls would go.
So I was like, oh, this is real fuck.
Yeah, that is gonna be a doctor or a lawyer or something
to get in the door there.
Where, P.F.J.?
Oh, yeah, they loved it.
They were going to P.F. Changs.
And I'm like, oh, fuck, I'll be over here eating hot dogs
from fucking Wall-Wah.
And my Chevy Illumina, if you need me.
They would all go, is great.
You wanna go?
And I'm like, I didn't know the first thing about Chinese
even as an asshole.
Yeah, I was 18.
I was in fucking high school.
You looking for bread on the table?
You got any parmesan cheese?
It's just like a chicken finger.
I'm like, nah, nah, nah, nah.
I'm like, oh, it looks interesting.
Why has it got seeds on it?
I love that stuff.
I just didn't know, and then they would all go,
and I remember I went one time.
Never a Panda Express guy.
And they're just, I always wanted to, just never got to.
You find one of those in the mall?
That lines out the fucking door.
Yeah, I don't think they weren't really around me growing.
At least, you know, I never really saw them.
But I remember the fucking, the PF, I don't even,
the PF Changs had a, I was like, nervous to go.
I've ever been like, I don't know what I'm going to order,
what's going on, how much money is this going to cost me?
This is like, you know, I probably had 30 bucks
or something like that.
You're trying to speak Japanese.
Look at it, idiot.
And there was two huge like horses at the front entrance.
It was like a very grand entrance.
You wet yourself.
I was like, I don't know.
And then there was a weight.
There was a 20 minute weight.
I'm like, I'm out.
That's fucking too rich for my blood, dude.
I was hesitant to go in.
You're not fucking denying.
No, that's it.
That's it.
They want my name? Who would you go there with You're not fucking denying it. No, that's it. That's it. Hey, what my name?
Who would you go there with?
I only ever made it to the entrance.
I never made it.
So a group of your friends are going.
Sure.
And so you're tagging along.
I think they were all like, we're going to go.
How old are you?
Ah, driving.
6, 7, 16.
You got any cash on you?
That's what I'm saying.
I probably got 20, 30 bucks.
And that's got to get me a pack of heaters for the night and beers later. Oh
I'm like I'm not you're pre-gaming at this place more or less. You're going out to over
They were going this this was like when you first don't go we're gonna go out to eat
Before they're not just getting food. You know, I mean I'm not going to McDonald's or wall wall or like the pizza place
You're gonna go sit down with a group of friends. I don't think we ever did that
Yeah, these are the died and make it in making past the door. We do ponderosa
But we get we we would do the diner we go great American diner or whatever and they fucking you know
You can get beers and eggs. We do ponderosa and get like two plates and then everybody would eat until they got wise to us and throw us out
Yeah, no, we took a couple of months. We would just do like, you know, sandwich, you know, like, you know,
the work's a high pressure situation, man.
Split in the check, little fat kid like you.
I was out, dude.
I didn't have the fucking moxie for it.
So what'd you do?
I left.
I can't wait.
I got to go.
I got to work in a morning.
And my kids go.
Yeah, I made something up and fucking high
touted out of there and I'm sure I stopped at a while while I
ate in the parking lot on the way home. Yeah, the baby sick. I'm
getting excited. I got to get out of here. It's good though.
I'm getting excited.
Rico case is a real big thing. Oh shit. Is it two? Is it
Tuesday already? I had a strong case of social anxiety back
then fucking heart pumping.
Well, it's also food.
I didn't know.
If you put me in a Friday,
if you put me in a pizza place,
you couldn't get fried right?
You know what fried rice is?
I don't think I did.
Are you kidding me?
I don't think I did.
Oh, I was fucking me.
And you couldn't eat and fried rice.
I couldn't Google the menu.
I didn't know.
So I'm like really flying blind.
I'm expecting like a batter sometimes.
I didn't know what to I'm like really flying blind. I'm expecting like a batter sometime. I didn't know what they were gonna say.
I'm an idiot.
Ah, man, I love that from jump.
Aloha, I always talk about it, man.
Fuckin' love that place.
Best fried rice ever.
Yeah, we didn't do chow mein.
I did fuck up one time and I ordered,
I meant to order low-main and I ordered chow mein.
The one that's super, it has like lettuce or cabbage in it and it's real super.
I'm out.
Oh, my mom made me eat it too, dude.
I want to fucking die.
I can't waste my money if I eat it.
I just wasn't ready for it yet.
I was a low-main kid.
Low-main, fried rice, love the egg roll, love the shrimp roll.
Well, sesame chicken.
I'll do it dumpling.
Sure. Yeah. But, yeah, I don't know. I was a very, yeah. of the name roll of the shrimp roll will Sesame check in I'll do it dumpling sure yeah
But yeah, I don't know I was a very yeah, I mean
The pit be being a picky year that makes it in fucking anxiety
Nope
Me mom at this fucking real hoity toys rich spot. Should I get a my tie comedy then?
I'll just take some olives, please
Yeah, it was the tough scene and you know those broads on nice credit cards.
They won't worry about it. They're throwing down. They're throwing down plastic.
Sure. Now, hmm, hmm. Yeah. And they, I remember, yeah, I remember pulling out of the
fucking parking lot. You know, like, yeah, calls me when you're done or whatever.
What'd you do? Just drive around. I probably went to a wall long got a fucking
Makes you feel bad for you
Yeah, it wasn't great leading up to him
And you know, it wasn't that it wasn't you got your nice amber crime be sure it on
No, that was probably by the way. I saw that that that Instagram post. I forgot to ask you about that sure
That's what you sent that to yawning. That's what you kids were rocking back then?
I don't remember those shirts.
Not that I don't remember not wearing them.
I'd be weird if you were at the party.
I mean, we were 16 or 17.
But I don't remember that being your guys' fashion.
Unless you guys just not to be rude,
but you won't really pull it off.
I mean, I could see your t-shirt right through that day.
Yeah, I mean, what is it?
It was from Coles, dude.
No, so that, all right.
That was probably 16, 17, 17 call it.
That was when hip hop...
What year are we talking?
2003.
2003.
Okay.
I graduated in 2005, so it's gonna be 2003. Yeah, so I'm like that okay. What do you think?
I was looking at the picture. Yeah, it's just so funny to have three guys all wearing the same shit. Oh yeah.
Yeah, same hat same hat same shirts and you see there's a fan out we're out bat picture is indoors outdoors and that's a problem
Yeah, I didn't know so that was when
That started switching from like the jerseys and stuff like that to like a Jay Z said like you weren't wearing that right what the jerseys Yeah, you were wearing the jerseys. Yeah, I still have my mom's I have
Basketball jerseys and I had matching hats for each one.
Like, to go out.
Oh, yeah.
School picture day.
What do you mean?
Really?
Yeah.
Man, I didn't know that.
Uh-huh.
Damn, man.
Yeah, not cool.
Thought I was cool.
Onto Raj Kippie.
Yeah, it was very turtle.
Very turtle-esque.
Sure.
Backwards fitted hat.
I had like a Chris Weber King's jersey
with the matching sacrament of backwards fitted hat. I had like a Chris Weber King's Jersey with the matching
sacrament of Kings hat had an Iverson Jersey. Uh, Cleveland that would have been what right?
The claims of the cab, the LeBron Jersey would have been the Cavaliers. No, I know. Iverson.
I said, Oh, Iverson. Chris Weber, Iverson, Mike Bibby. I have as a big King's fan. Mike Bibby.
Just putting that hat on going. I'll never regret this
Yeah, that had this can he laid more than once in a night
The lens of the future will shine favorably on the sound bit
Yeah, so wait started to try to Denver Nuggets Jersey hat
It started a transition from that to what Jay Z told you
not to wear those anymore.
I called you personally.
He said he goes, yo, Kip, we ain't doing this no more.
A-cheet.
Yeah, he wrapped about like no more,
somebody commented in the comments of no,
like this is right when Jay Z said no more jerseys.
He said, you are not wrong, my friend.
So you went button up.
Yeah.
Give me a Chris pair of jeans and a button up.
And that was, that was big, the button up.
Did he mean that though with the stripes?
I don't know what he,
when I think button up,
he was, he also wasn't shopping at Coles, okay?
I had to do the best with what I had.
And Denise was only taking me to Coles. She wasn't
approving cool button ups.
He never got your hands like an amber cronby or anything like that.
That was it. That's not he didn't mean that.
You know there's no M in that store, right?
Amber cronby.
Amber cronby. Amber cronby and cinch.
No, that's not a thing. Amber cronby.
Amber cronby. Amber cronby. Yes. Amber cronby and cinch. Amber cronie and Finch. No, that's not a thing. Ambercrombie. Abbercrombie. Abbercrombie.
Yes.
Abbercrombie and Finch.
Abbercrombie and Finch.
Hey, Rudy, you're eating.
It's a teen out of an end, dude.
Oh, there's no end.
Bitch.
Wait, hold on.
Abbercrombie and Finch.
Abbercrombie?
Abbercrombie.
Am I saying that right?
Yeah.
Abbercrombie and Finch.
Mm-hmm.
Not Ambercrombie and Finch.
Ambercrombie. Ambercrombie is aitch not Amber Crombie and Finch Amber Crambie's a school girl. I went to school
Yo miss Crambie first name's Amber. Hey miss Crambie is Amber home
Amber Crambie
She went on to be a superhero the porn star
same thing
Okay, doing the Lord's work either way you weren't shopping there because for a minute
But that wasn't cool when I was banging that wasn't cool
I
Would scrub he was was nerd alert because I would say maybe around
2003 2004 what you're talking about I came into I came into a big score on a fucking tax refund and
I was going out with my brother and wanted to really wow them and I picked up a suit from banana republic
She only took to banana part of that dog
Hey, what do you have in terms of bananas ears? I met them in some boys like what the fuck is
a banana's ears. Dude, I met them in some boys like what the fuck is that? What was I doing? It was casual though. It was casual. Oh, you don't say the yellow suit.
You weren't going into closets, were you? Hey guys, don't be intimidated by my power suit. This is casual. I'm just hanging out the night. No, no, no, kind of yellow. Yeah.
It was yellow.
It was mustard stain yellow. Sorry, I'm late. I was ringing the bell on Wall Street. Oh, any question marks on this suit?
Hey gang!
I'm here to save you.
There's a bunch of loopholes in the tax code.
Oh shit.
No, it was when I say casual, I mean,
it was, I think the CEO of Grape Upon.
Yes, it was very Grape Upon ask.
Which I loved as a kid. What was under? What kind of shirt were you wearing? I think the CEO of Grape Upon. Yes, it was very great, Pupon-esque.
Which I loved as a kid.
What was under?
What kind of shirt were you wearing?
Um, Tuxedo T-shirt.
I was in Jersey.
My high school football jersey.
I started paired well.
What's off?
Um, what's it called?
Canvas, not Canvas.
Not Canvas.
The shit that they're wearing now.
Linen.
Linen.
Yes.
It was like a linen suit.
Where did you go?
It was February, too.
I was.
That was on the discount track.
Freezing.
Yeah.
Yellow and okay, where was it?
What?
I had a white shirt.
Where are you going?
Just some bar.
Just went to meet him and his buddies at some bar.
This is a lot for O'Hanagan.
I was downtown. I thought it was nice.
Man, I know the field not knowing and trying to dress cool is.
Don't look now. Big bird just pulled up to the bar.
I was skinny many back then.
I was probably like fucking buck 89.
Mm-hmm tight.
We're going to get idiot.
I had fucking tan shoes. No socks.
The tan belt had to shirt tucked in. Yeah. How much that run yet? It was a lot.
Couple hundred. Enough to send me into a panic and do stangziety session the
next day about what did I do? I just spent all the money that I just got. I'm reoccurring thing back then. Plus there was a couple other expenses.
Expenses that you think.
I think I went through my whole refund check.
Yeah, you can't wear a yellow suit and not do blow all night.
I mean, what's the fucking point? It probably came in the pockets.
Instead of a Scarface lining to it.
Instead of the buttons.
Yeah.
A guy wearing a yellow suit going out is obviously doing blow.
Yeah.
And once everyone did know it.
Man.
There's a tough look.
But that neither here nor there.
I was dipping in that kind of stuff.
That one time.
Yeah, but every public's always been, you know, that's where I,
could you warn those?
And still go when I go.
Your buddies didn't have, though, they weren't cold shirts,
they were nicer shirts.
No, that was, are they just fit them a little better?
They just also, mine's, I think the fans blowing it,
so it really, I look real wide.
I wasn't that wide.
Looking back, I would have took in every picture, like that, every picture I've real wide. I wasn't that wide. Looking back, I would have took in every picture.
Like that.
Every picture I've ever taken.
No, I would have been in the back row.
Like had someone, like I would just been there.
What's up?
You know, throwing the deuces up.
Yeah, I know that she were big on those.
Yeah.
We're big on the deuces.
Big on the deuce and the middle finger.
Big.
The middle finger.
Yeah.
Man, that never would have flown.
The middle finger. Flown with who? Anybody have flown the middle finger long was who anybody?
I wasn't doing with my mom like I wasn't a Thanksgiving like fucking bitch. I was fucking drinking with my boys, dude
Which middle finger would you do thumb out or thumb in? I was typically thumb in
Eminem was big on the thumb out. Yeah, no, I was thumb that yeah, I don't get me wrong on Facebook. I'm there's I'm I don't like that
I don't like the other finger popped up. Don't yeah, what do you a priest all of a sudden shut up
Go put your yellow suit on and dance monkey. I still have it
Yeah, okay, she ever scored a day with the Chiquita banana lady
I
I'm not gonna keep it up in the analytic. Ah, I went too many.
Yeah, wasn't proud of it, but hey, I, you know, I show it.
And a lot of people resonates with a lot of people.
Of course, of course.
I just wasn't in my head when you talked about those shirts,
I didn't expect them to wear like that.
I don't know what it was.
I'm telling you.
Many of the menus, the flash. It was the bad angle. know what it was. I'm telling you. I knew it. Maybe it was the flash.
It was the bad angle.
It's a bad, I'm like putting my eyes
I was stretching out.
I wasn't, it's a bad angle.
I was a William and Sonoma.
I remember that.
The shirt?
Oh, that was not, wait.
No, that's pots and pans.
It was.
It wasn't William.
It was.
This is nonstick.
So you come here often? And a pussy just slides right off me
Like a drop of dawn
Runs away
Sure you're doing all right back then.
Oh god.
Don't kid like you.
Yeah, but that's what I was, that picture is a top.
I mean, it is what it is.
I am what I am.
I'm a human onion people.
Of course.
How many people you know can go from fitted in jerseys to cool
button ups for colds?
Yeah.
It is what it is.
I thought more solid colors.
That's it.
No, that was college. That's it. That was college.
That's when Express came out.
Express came out with the solid button on.
And there's a lot of picks of me with that as well.
The blue was big, but this was maybe a little bit before that.
This was like right after 9-11, the upper east side was fucking right with those
royal blue shirts.
Sure.
A lot of restaurants.
That was the uniform with the black pants or whatever. Oh, man of restaurants, that was the uniform,
with the black pants or whatever.
Oh man, yeah, it was all right.
Yeah, it was all right.
I've always been ahead of the curve
when it comes to fashion, I feel.
I've always been one step ahead.
You know what's classic and nice,
is a nice pair of jeans and a solid blue button down,
the light, the normal button downs.
Yeah, he can't shit that.
And what I want in a perfect world,
perfect 100% perfect world,
I'd wear blue jeans and a white t-shirt every day.
Ooh, just I do not have the body to pull that off.
I can't even pull off a white t-shirt under a jacket.
You know what I mean? My belly, you can
see my belly button. I think a black hole. Yeah, I'd span. I'd span. Buy them all black tees and black
jeans. Don't think my hot topic phase. But my fashion choices of not with standing of course.
Yes, gentlemen, such as yourself.
Neither here nor there.
We have business to get to.
Wait, though, it's a family episode gang.
Sure is.
Do a little couple of cues here from the old Patreon.
Uh-huh. When you sign up for the Patreon,
we will answer your garbage question on the air.
And God, do I gotta tell you?
You got some goddamn humdingers over here.
What do you know about Harry's baby?
Oh baby, I'm no longer Harry cause of Harry's.
Woo! That's pretty good.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Keep to be cut that we're saving that.
Put me on a board.
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Thanks to Harry's.
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And everything else used to give me the bumps.
Harry's don't give me the bumps though.
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Get a $13 starter set for just $3 to Harry's.com slash garbage.
That's Harry's.com slash garbage for a $3 starter set.
Maybe you're in there for the price of not.
What are you doing?
Come off me.
Harry's.com slash garbage.
Do it. I see what you got, F's.com slash garbage. Do it.
I see what you got, Fanny.
This one is a spin on something we've talked about before.
This is from Roy.
Are you garbage?
If you don't realize you're out of bread,
so you send your kid to school with a PB and J tortilla.
That's never happened.
There was never tortillas in the house.
Well, we were talking about a banana dog,
which is a hot dog or a banana on a hot dog roll.
Yeah, but I got to be honest with you.
I love tortillas and I love PB and J.
The PB J and T. I didn't I thought I invented that at a certain point.
Because that didn't start until I was much older when I was like, what the fuck am I doing?
Fucking put this on a tortilla.
However, what I didn't know, I mean, it never,
mine never came, what I, that never came from like, I can do this. It's more of I have to do
this because I'm out of fucking red or the rest. Rose, of course, of course. Make it some
North Shore case of Diaz. Yeah. What's North Shore case of Diaz? It's a fun name for peanut butter
jelly or tortilla. It's not bad. It's actually pretty good. Pat and pendant. You know what I didn't
realize until much, much, much later in life. And I ruined most of my tortilla experience or two. That's not bad. It's actually pretty good. Pat and pendant. You know what I didn't realize
until much much much later in life and I ruined most of my tortilla experience by this. I didn't know
to fucking heat it up on the stove on the open stove. That's only that's only very recent for everybody.
Man. Everybody gives you that game changer. Uh huh. I used to see the guys when I worked at the
Greek place down in the West Village. That's how they would heat up the PETA.
Oh, PETA is the same way.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
So, that's all got to be done open flame.
Yeah.
Yeah, open flame.
Throw it in the salad and get the truck, get the char on there.
Big fan of that.
So that, you cool it down a little bit, you do a little peanut butter, you do a little
jelly, and you make it like a quesadilla.
Maybe you put your chips or some pretzels on there,
get a little crunch to it.
That was all right, but not in school,
just patting just never, she never did.
We never, the tortilla.
They weren't, they never really hung out around the house either.
If they did, they were left over from taco night or whatever.
And we never did that.
We were a hard taco shell. We were, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or. We were a hard taco shell. We were, or,
Ortega saying with us, they only came in probably when I was in junior higher high school,
there every six months there might be a bag sitting there of like some like car balance
one that Denise was trying to ever try to make those work with something like,
with everything like when, okay, so you have taco night, you do the Ortega's.
She puts maybe half of the shell.
There's always shells left over.
Sure. Man, trying to make one
I just could never figure out the science behind it. I'm like it looks like a Dorito. It kind of tastes like a Dorito
Why can't I make this work? The hard shell taco is no good dude because when you're going to bite at a certain point
You hit that midsection. We're now you got a bite from the top and you're only getting tomatoes and lettuce. And then the meat sogs is up the bottom.
It's not that.
You have to put them in the oven.
They're a little, every time they
would be bland or something.
They're like, stale, it's weird.
And I could never crack that.
Yeah, I get to the point where I wouldn't even fuck with.
I go, I've tried this two times.
I can't figure it out.
I'm on to, you know, Ritz Crackles and cheese whizzer, whatever.
Yeah. My mom used to send my brother to school with a pretty trashy lunch. She do instant
ramen like Maruchin Ramen noodles in a thermos.
Is that how you pronounce that? Maruchin? I never even attempted.
Sounds like a bail bondsman. Maruchin, me, Maruchin.
She never fucking check me.
Maruchin will get you out, but you better pay.
Because I'll put you back in I
Don't know if that's it. Ah probably not those things are all right though. Yeah, they're great
But she put them in a thermos with the hot water and the powder in the morning and it would just sit
Sogggin up in that thermos my brother love that shit. I mean, I do like it
I would imagine the noodles would get over could get mushy. Yeah be pure mush
Oh, that's how I like my nudes sending you to fucking school with soup
Cheap soup at that not even like I even I would
Here's a piss that's guaranteed and ass soup prison meal
That's what like bricklayers do
That's bad never soup never
Soup I would fucking lose it
That would be her last day on the job I tag it off that bus. I'm looking to choose somebody's ass out
I can see a soup it was paired with a grilled cheese
Sure, but the grilled cheese cheese
You get the soup at the school and they'll do a soup in the winter would be something else. Yeah, I'll throw you a tomato
Well, they'll do a soup in the winter. Wouldn't be a something else.
They'll throw you a tomato.
Soup.
That's all I'll pour bastard.
And he liked it.
Loved it.
Really?
Huh.
What was the accoutrements?
What was the dessert on that?
Fucking wedgie.
Yeah.
I was capable of what his hair wet could figure it out.
Kitchen gold.
This one's from Kippin Hanks Garage,
Adventure, Shout out to you, $10 homie, never have one red.
Is it garbage if you give all your kids names
to start with the same letter, for example,
my mom is one of seven named Darlene Denise,
Diane Debbie Donald Dennis and Danny.
That's a crew.
Yeah.
Darlene Dennis, Diane Debbie Donald Dennis and Danny.
Yeah, there's something, there's something to that.
That's, yeah.
That ain't classy.
No.
You got Deb, you got Don, you got Don, you got Don, you got Don,
you got, you got, Nisi and you got Dore.
Yeah.
Dore.
That's what Dore, Dore, if there was a Darlene
in my family, she would be Dore.
There's a Mara, she's a mara.
Wait, your mom, dear parents,
your grandparents didn't do that, right?
What?
They didn't name everybody.
No, that's the question.
Oh, okay.
No, I thought you just named,
you said Denise.
No, but they had, there's a Denise in there.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
She's not the only one.
And what?
Yeah, Denise, yeah.
The piece isn't the only Denise floating around.
She should be though.
And her nickname is Nisi.
Nisi.
Nisi growing up her.
That was just it.
So we abbreviate every name.
Brent, Brenting goes to Brent.
Bridget, Bridget goes to bridge.
I think the short answer is yes, that's trash.
Oh yeah, but that's a, that's a wrecking crew, dude.
Yeah, but I like it.
You got die, die, Deb Don Ben and Danny come rolling through.
They are there to fuck shit up.
Don and Deb, sorry.
Just a two of them.
Yeah.
See, like that, for some reason that's comforting to me.
I bet you they all have a dish that's fucking awesome.
It's like the, with the big, big, uh, yeah.
I bet you they did, yeah, it's fucking, it's trashy,
but it's fucking alright, man
Little slice of America. They all I if it's anything like my family to they all come with rules like
There's certain they they don't touch his ears. No, but like you know, they all have the role
It's very at this point everybody now knows everybody's
No, that don't like it when you make fun of her feet don't make fun of Deb's feet. Yeah, bridge don't like it when you make fun of her feet. Don't make fun of Deb's feet.
Yeah, bridge don't like it when you curse.
No, there, you know, Uncle Dan has a very specific way.
He likes his coffee and everybody,
all 50 of us know it.
Yeah, it was some rumpaments of it.
I feel like he would,
he would bring a six pack of his own beer
and you weren't allowed to drink whatever he drank.
Who?
That uncle.
Oh, this guy, yeah.
You know what I mean?
Sure.
He's the only one that drinks bush light
or something like that.
He loves them.
He can't drink them.
You know what I, you know what?
I, I, I realized I'm getting to the point too,
because, you know, growing up, right,
when I was starting to be allowed to drink
at family parties, it's so fun I wanted to talk about this.
When I started to be a lot of drink at family parties,
it was, yeah, I was late high school, like most people.
Really?
Depends on the party and the company at the party.
We snuck it.
If it's my uncles and...
Made it better.
We're out doing something wrong.
What?
I was fucking trying to feel something.
Trying to feel something.
Well, I was the youngest of all my uncles
and all my cousins and my uncles.
So they were all like my brother and sisters,
they were all drinking.
So they were like, yeah, if I can, you can drink.
And then like the uncles started being like,
yeah, it's Gavin Drinking.
Get the button down, share it on.
No, I'm listening to Jay-Z.
What more do you want from me?
But I remember would be like, what are you drinking?
Well, we're making the plans for let's say Thanksgiving.
And I was always the, whatever.
I'm like, what do you drink?
How fucking whatever you got.
I was, I see him.
Oh, okay.
I'm like, fuck him, whatever.
And they're like, I remember being like,
Uncle Pat only drink, Uncle Pat's drinking England.
Oh, yeah, of course.
That, or the big thing is they were on something
that year or two, you know, like he's not drinking
core lights no more. He's drinking England. He's off the England. He's getting too fat. He's on
the light. He's a one C's real high switched over to high-knit can light. He's off the IPA. He's
on the he's on the course again or whatever. And now I'm doing that. It's because like now I'm
getting calls from like my brother-in-law, if I were like going to dinner or like going to have
like pizza night or whatever with the kids. What are you drinking? What do you and I'm like I'm getting calls from like my brother-in-law if we were like going to dinner or like going to have like pizza night or whatever with the kids.
What are you drinking?
What do you and I'm like,
I'm doing a course lights or I'm done.
I'm doing twisted tea lights.
Yeah, you got cold lemonade.
Yeah, yeah.
It's fair, I'm like, oh shit, I've become that fat uncle.
I've become the uncle who's weight's fluctuating
and thinks what is drinking?
It's gonna change it.
And that's the 15 slices of Zaham about to have.
Six of mulsing for the kid triple X.
All right, let's see this one's Tommy G 10 dollar
Bozo is a garbage to rip heaters by the kitchen vent thinking
that'll take the smell out.
Buddy been there one two three million times and I feel like
it does help a little bit.
I just out of the movement.
Can I ask you this about those?
Uh-huh. When I was a kid, I was under the impression
that they went somewhere.
Commerciality they do.
In my mind, dude, I spent.
It's just a fan.
The ones in your kitchens typically are just a fan.
They don't, there's not a pipe where that goes
and then goes out of the building.
Probably not in your house.
No, it's the exhaust is right on top.
The exhaust.
Oh, yeah.
And then just blows it out.
It's just a fan.
Yeah.
Unless, I mean, I doubt most residential.
I couldn't figure those out to save my fucking life.
Do you know when you, when you do have one that just takes it, just fucking right up and
out that, you know, you that just takes it. Just fucking right up and out that out.
You're rip it.
Oh, yeah, well, I would light it off the stove.
I then just flick the vent on and also smoking in the kitchen.
There's less fabric.
So there's less smell.
That was always my dirt bag logic in any house.
Okay, can we smoke in here?
Not yet, wait until around midnight.
Then the ciggies, they don't happen in the living room.
You gotta be a goddamn animal to just crank Siggs
in the living room.
You're sitting on the couch.
You smoke them in the kitchen.
Yeah.
You got the window open, you got the vent going,
you got the fan going, and if there's nothing
for it to stick to.
Uh huh.
There's science behind my dirt bag, lots.
Sure.
And it worked.
And I remember my dad just ripping heater laying down sideways
With his hand in his head watching something on TV. That's so not comfortable to me. I do he would fall asleep like crazy, right?
Those old guys my dad the same way to be fucking reading a paper cranking fucking on the couch
And I'm like that's not that's not how I like my state. This was the floor. He was on the floor playing the Florida cow play in sideways like that
Yeah, that's so wild to me. You know, you know what pairs really well with the cigarette on a couch
being hammered drunk. Oh, that'll get me
Smoke on the moon if you let really sets it off. Yeah
Go into the refrigerator, but also my first apartment up here we would would crank fucking, I mean, that was a full smoking apartment.
Never like everyone in it just smoke your,
you would be by the window,
you'd have to open the window
and you would be by the window, typically.
And that gives me anxiety in the sense of,
there was a lot of that waiting for someone to show up.
And my past experience
Sweat that triggers that February. I'm waiting. I'm you're waiting for the guy to come. Yeah
Yeah
Thinking about the heater after the guy after sure, you know, what's everything straightened out? Yeah, what you get your head on straight
That's gonna be great then and you're like kind of like anticipatingly chasing that beforehand.
Pre-game in it.
Yeah, I don't like that yet.
Because I mean anxiety.
They ad vibes.
But a sig inside ain't bad.
I, you know, I don't love them.
It depends on the setting.
But sigs inside are just cooler at times.
Why don't condone smoking?
Of course. Yeah, it's always been to look good in movies. Like when they'd be, But six inside are just cooler at times. Why don't condone smoking of course
Yeah, it was made it look good in movies like when like when they'd be I always think to myself like
They're leaking they gotta be reekings. They got a smell Mm-hmm, you know, I was watching sex in the city the other day. It was on I
Feel like it doesn't stick to like somebody like Sarah Jessica Parker doesn't stick to the same way it sticks to our fantasies coming in from outside
It does it's just that everybody was smoking so nobody could smell it
But she's got the perfume and she's not almost not good
You know what I mean back in the day a little bit of smoke mixing with with the perfume
I never liked the lady that smoked as a smoker really. Yeah, I'm a fucking dirt bag. I love that. You know what I mean?
But she rolled over right after sex in bed, which I'm like that ain't happening anymore. Is it?
I don't think it ever did. I think that was all like that was all Edward Bernace shit. I've done that have you of course
Sleeping in a refrigerator box, but yeah, I've never done it in bed I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it.
I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it.
I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it.
I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it.
I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it.
I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it.
I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it.
I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it.
I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it.
I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it.
I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it. I'm. Oh no, yeah, I smoke in my house.
Yeah, immediately start arguing with the girl.
About like college money and shit like that.
Watch me burn myself. I don't feel it at all.
Jesus Christ.
It was like a...
Uh, yeah, that, that, but they did that,
and I was like, are people,
they're probably not people still just rolling over
cranking heaters in bed.
Because that'll stick.
We just didn't think it stuck and everything everybody did
Smell like smoke back in the day in bed smoking in bed wild. Yeah, you got fitted sheets of burn holes in them
There's a lot I guarantee you someone's watching this show or listening to show in bed
With a burn or. Rip in a stag. I got two, three rain coats or fall jackets
that have fucking that that have Bernie holes right by
on the thing.
Little briscoe wind hit you.
Sure.
Not thinking about it.
I got a jacket that I would use to just go out
and catch heaters that that right sleeve is just fucking.
It smells like it was in a bonfire.
Just from you know what I mean,
it's always raining or whatever.
It makes it stick even more. It's like you open the closet and you know what I mean it's always raining or whatever to make some stick even more
It's like you open the closet and you're like what the fuck?
Catching a raw heater in here
All right, let's see here
This in the same vein this one's from Travis is it garbage to propose your girlfriend and your Bernie's t-shirt
Shout out to you. Yeah, I rats a that's a that's a marriage that'll last forever. If I go we made the save the date.
We did make someone save the date. Yeah, they hit us up.
We're on their website.
You like log in and it's it's a shout out to the happy couple.
Yeah, you go to like reserves or RSVP and we're we're on it.
Who the fuck are these guys?
Who is fat idiots?
I love it.
All right, this one's from spaghetti bad guy. Have you ever just dug a hole?
Yeah, I have. That's a good time for no reason at all. I'm a dig me. Oh,
the best is when you just catch a rock and that becomes the project. Oh, I
excavate you. Yeah, you're a fucking, you know, feeling you're an archaeologist. Oh really fine a rock
I'm gonna get my bro. What is it? Yeah, I
Remember doing it in the backyard as a kid just digging a hole just fucking
Those summer days that seemed out of your home alone and we said it a thousand times
But a day seemed like a month you know check the clock at was 12 15
You're like no one's gonna be home for another fucking five and a half hours
Start digging up the pumps. You called before you dig. Check the pipes on this thing.
Um yeah love digging a hole. Yeah. All right let's see this one's from Deborah. Hey I'm new how
about this? Are you garbage if your former mother-in-law actually slept with evil,
Keneval back in Montana? Woo your former mother-in-law slept with evil, Keneval back in Montana. Woo. Your former mother-in-law slept with evil, Keneval.
Shout out to her.
That's, I mean, that's like an American legend.
One of many, my friend.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Hate to tell you that.
One of many.
Yeah.
Keneval did all right.
Was he married, evil, Keneval?
I believe he was.
I believe he was.
Sure.
Yeah. It was different. That's risking his life. He's he was. Sure. Yeah.
It was different.
Dude, that's risking his life.
He's jumping to God, damn green.
Can you let him get a little side.
In a regular fucking bike, it was none of that shit that they have now.
We're talking heavy bike.
This guy was just fucking doing it.
No real skill for lack of a better world.
Just a fucking set of cajonas on him.
He's set a fucking all.
He drained a lot.
After that.
Hahaha.
With local ladies.
Man.
He was.
He was married.
Couple of times I think.
And he also was a semi pro hockey player.
What?
Yeah, the but Bombers, dude.
What a name.
They don't have names like that anymore.
The but Bombers.
There's some connection with that.
Is there a connection to Kurt Russell in him?
No, he the Kurt Russell had the the bastards or whatever. That was a that was a baseball team. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.
I in Spokane or Portland or something. I thought it was in Montana. The bastards of baseball. They ripped off the Czechoslovakia and Olympic ice team.
How they They ripped off the checklist of okey and Olympic ice team how they
To promote the team at Irmoney he convinced the Olympic team from checklist, LeVakia to play an exhibition game against the bup bombers
It's the most daring feat yet. Yeah, he can evil got ejected in the third period
Fuckin runnin over a guy with his motorbike. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Even more so than like my other like toys or whatever because Fisher Price came out with a they had a motorcycle guy which was basically him but without the
What up the marketing the branding you have like the stripes and shit like that
This guy was fucking awesome and once he loosened up a little bit
You could really fucking do some fun shit with him. I missed him completely
He was wait. Why was his last jump to
Yeah, this would probably before we were born he in my head
He was already like a lot not a wife's to but already like a lore
Yeah, you were born on what 86 86 I mean he might be jumped in the early 90s
I think I vaguely remember that but when he was hot was the 80s. Yeah, man
That was all I mean I missed it completely. He was like yeah, he was like a guy you just heard people talk about
I was born took over
Yeah, man Marty Funkhouser the snake river canyon
1974 that was his last jump get the fuck out of here
No, it couldn't have you were able made it can evil made his most daring and final jumps at Twin Falls across the Snake River Canyon.
Really?
Earning the Guinness Book of World record for most broken drones in a lifetime.
Nancy, he was, I did it.
He was just legend when I went inside the powder.
Holy shit.
Yeah, so his last jump was seven.
Yes, I mean, you know, I've seen that mid 90s.
I'm seven or whatever.
His kid took, oh, his kid started a jump was there an evil carnival junior
Yeah, I vaguely remember that Ronnie can evil Ronnie. He don't have it. Ronnie. He did
Not like evil. I'm telling you man. He was good
Vegas Ronnie used to jump buses. I think I remember the busses and I think he jumped something in Vegas that documentary is all robby
Can you robby? Can you go?
Sorry.
By the way, Ronnie can't even change the oil in a fucking motorcycle.
All right, passed away.
Yeah, he's not that long ago, right?
Uh, yeah, twenty three.
Yeah.
Shout out to him, a couple of American originals.
That's crazy.
That is last jump was in 74 because I like remember seeing them on TV. Maybe it was Super Dave.
No, Ronnie was jumping into the 80s and 90s, I think.
Well, see, I don't think he was doing it back then, though.
I think that didn't start until like the 90s.
I'm saying that's maybe what you remember seeing.
Nah, this feels like in the early 80s,
I remember watching Evil, Can Evil jump over stuff.
Maybe my dad had it on tape.
Probably.
Yeah, you too back then. Awesome.
We instead of big buck hunter, we were going to get a fucking evil,
con evil pinball machine, but the guy wanted that crazy money.
That guy, real, real J.O. movies like make me an offer.
Yeah. He made him an offer and he fucking, I used to.
Hey, fucking them respond. Yeah. Yeah.
His last jump was in 2008.
Damn. Okay. But he didn't use a heavy bike. He used a motocross bike. Okay.
Yeah, his dad was just using fucking. That's all he had regular motorcycles. No cow at sockies.
Oh, he's just grabbing something from the van leg. Just crashing. It's got gas in it. Man,
imagine that you break all those bones six months a year to recover.
You fucking back out there and do it again.
I mean, this paychecks are probably all right.
Probably. You know what I mean?
And you got a bit of a death wish or you don't care if you die.
So you're fucking, let's fucking do a couple of Eagle sores.
You know what I mean?
Jump to God damn green canyon.
Sure.
All right, let's see this one's from Jen. kind of talked about this before $10 $10 homie
Is it garbage to stop by a little league concession saying for some snacks if you don't know anyone playing on the field?
That's are you there watching the game?
I think they just stop by
Lights are on at the stadium means that grills on to let's play ball. You're supporting the kids
You're supporting the township or the league, the local thing.
What are you doing there though?
They're not like on the street.
Yeah, they're like in, you got a park and then like get to.
Yeah, you got to walk through the woods a little bit.
If it's a crowded, you know, if it's a game, the parking lot's crowd, that's, yeah.
Your buddy, you better off just fucking call it.
New Bereets are stopping at a fucking wall or something they don't have those
walking around tacos I'll tell you that man I love a fucking snack bar god damn
man sister yeah that's trash I'd be fucking I would eat out of the snack bar
growing up probably three times a week between my games my brothers games are my
sisters games you just say I'm dropping you off at the field,
whatever, you know, I ever replayed multiple sports.
You're just fucking, man, if that thing closed,
that was a sad day.
I fucking, what am I supposed to do?
It's not even open over your store,
and they run out of pretzels.
Half time, I go to my cousin,
cousin Joe's basketball games,
when he played for Kings College in Wooksbury. We go there
and I'd be waiting for half time fucking bolt up to the snack bar. They had everything.
Yeah. Cool. Big fan. Couple of diesels too. Couple of diesies. On a Wednesday at like 730.
Just been sitting in a roller for fucking four days after dinner. We're talking after dinner diesels. ADDs. I was like, I'm money in the game. I'm like,
cousin, cousin gonna play ball. You're gonna throw it in the third.
All right, let's see here. We can do one more and then we got to get up out of
her. This one's from Jim $20 homie. Shout out to they a $20 board member, is a garbage only shave with shampoo, which I've done.
Shave with shampoo.
I always went conditioner because it felt thicker.
Yeah, a little more consistent.
Well hold on, there is something to that,
to use conditioner.
When you're shaving with a razor,
if you put conditioner on your face,
it softens the hair.
It does.
There is a little something to that.
There is.
Give you some wicked acne though, I'm saying that.
Yeah, I can feel the hair ripping out of my face.
I fucking.
But the shampoo gives you a little bit more sudsy.
It's all, the shampoo gets a little more frothy.
Yeah, I was soap.
We would do soap.
That's the first thing we would do
I've done it with fucking like just bar soap in a hotel when you've been real jammed off
I did it before a wedding one time. I forget where I was
And man it did bad reaction to it or something was off dude
I was a little bit had a red beard at the fucking wedding
It was a fucking tough look. I hope I never have to shave with a razor like that every I've died
Well, I've just made that decision that I'm just never doing every time I use a regular razor
It looks like I lost a fight to a raccoon. I hate it. I'm just bleeding the way that feels
Trim it trim it keep it low and slow like yeah
You can burst the beard trimmer. It's fucking on the lowest thing. Yeah, I'm out the door. I don't care anymore
I'm not trying to impress no goddamn body. I'm not trying to get into PF Chang those those norms have relaxed. I think a little bit to or yeah
We were kids every day they they're dead shaved. Yeah, yeah every single morning shaved
That had to suck. I mean, I remember even like you know a few ago, I was shaving two times a week, two, three,
like I would let it get like a little scruff
and then I was like, all right, I was fucking,
baby face McGee over here, fucking getting carted and stuff.
That baby's got a receding airline.
Oh, bless your heart.
All right, we gotta wrap it up, gang.
Gang, I'm gonna tell you this, we love you to death.
See you next week.
Peace.
See you next week.
Peace!