Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Sketchy Roller Coasters w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: April 22, 2024

Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live ...show! Through the Roof Tour Tickets: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Aura Frames: https://auraframes.com/garbage Promo Code: garbage This Show is sponsored by BetterHelp Better Help: https://www.BetterHelp.com/GARBAGE Liquid IV: https://www.liquid-iv.com Promo Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Gang the Through the Roof Tour is rolling through the Northeast baby. We're coming to Norwalk, Connecticut and we added a second show with the Wilbur Theater up there in Boston, Massachusetts. Everybody pack the car and come to the show. Yeah. All tickets are available at rugarbage.com. The live shows are a mix of stand-up and AYG. You know it's a good time. Get the army of garbage and let's go.
Starting point is 00:00:21 Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You garbage? Oh, yeah It's a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find it at the group to be greasy
Starting point is 00:00:50 Yeah, they're just a big old piece of trash or be I'm your host takes fully coming at you on a beautiful day We're out back here with tooties in a new edition. Just heard the ambulance going away. Oh, no knock somebody out She did. Oh, he's playing a knockout game got a right hook. Hey there right now Yeah, I'll do it ever see her now. Oh hands like lightning Breath like a dragon my co's coming at you from across the table. He is the CEO of are you garbage? He is an international businessman and let me tell you kids out there something next time you for a best pal Do yourself a favor you make it a kid? Hey, what's up gang? Thanks, it's like cigarettes. Hey, thanks for tuning, gang? Tastes like cigarettes. Thanks for tuning in.
Starting point is 00:01:26 As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. As you know, those numbers are... True to root! Corner K! Coming at you! Right there, right there. And then obviously, I don't know about you guys, but it's my favorite website of all
Starting point is 00:01:40 time, www.patreon.com. I enjoy the programming. You go over there you get a bonus episodes at AYG weekly you get you can get bonus episodes of hard feelings weekly you get all the other videos We've done which has to be about I don't know 50 videos or something a lot going on over there Yeah, it's fantastic check it out and the island videos are about to go up though. Yes, sir Good good time How about a nice shout out to our producer extraordinaire, the magic man makes us all look
Starting point is 00:02:07 good, works the ones, the twos, the threes, and the fours, crosses T's and he dots I's. T-Bone McStruffens, Toby, the big dong, McMullen, everybody. What up, boys? What's up, pal? BD. In the hardest spring, it's nice out there. Give me a sweet tea, a rocking chair on a front porch. I'm ready to talk some trash. Hey, a couple of racist remarks. You know who's having a baby out of wedlock? What? You ain't heard that from me though. I'm telling you that
Starting point is 00:02:35 right now. That was tea back then. You find out there was a bastard child on the way. Somebody got knocked up. That was nuts. You'd see you used to be able to send the lady away when she got knocked up. I go have the baby somewhere else. Keep the pride of the family.
Starting point is 00:02:52 I know that's crazy. That was always such a weird two or three of them. Also, I think back in the day, people would just take that at face value. If you were like, what happened to your sister Megan today? They'd be like, oh, we're not sure. The news would be called. No, you don't send the sister, you don't send the lady who's having it. You send the baby away. No, because then they see that she's pregnant. You hide her for a little bit. That's what they did. They would send the baby away.
Starting point is 00:03:19 No, they would send the woman away too to go have a baby at like the cousin's house or something. Yeah, that's what I mean. And then she shows shows up, hey what's going on? I was in rehab. Yeah exactly, I was learning how to read me good. Or they'd send you to the convent. To the nunnery. Yeah to the nunnery. Knocked up at a nunnery. The nuttery. Is that how your dirty videos? Is that how they all started? Yeah we had a couple of those. What it all worked out in the family I don't want to get specific here I don't think we ever had any children out of wedlock ruin all that hard work sending them away and hiding the paperwork and
Starting point is 00:03:52 shit I got the gas money it's time to Italy for a couple of weeks I don't think we ever had any every Irish Catholic everybody got married for I think that would uh you know no there was no hanky-panky a lot of good amount of divorces though. Yeah shotgun wedding uh Maybe in my mom's generation like my aunt, but I don't think so not I mean I don't think so no I mean she comes from like 50 kids. They were boning sure But they all got married young. Like they all got married at like 21 or whatever.
Starting point is 00:04:28 You know what I mean? So there was no like, I don't think there was any. You marry your high school sweetheart. Yeah, or like someone. You get married at the Union Hall or whatever it is. We didn't have Union Hall. They were doing it in Roe Homes in Kensington. Sure.
Starting point is 00:04:41 Realized all that he had in common was the shared experience of high school and then stick it out for 50 years. You make it work. That's what you do. I don't know. Shove it all down because you know in the end She's gonna be there for you. That's why you do it. Uh-huh. It ain't all romance and canoes I'll tell you fucking kids that something. Okay. Where's that Hennessy? Get the hell out of here. Big man is on one. Go clean clean your rooms. All right I know who drinks eggnog in May I I don't know if I ever told you that my mom
Starting point is 00:05:12 my mom took a What are they like lady classes like etiquette classes they offered them somewhere like at the one They tried to the teacher to stop spitting in doors stop doing chew Kenzo garbage Stop fighting every guy you see no she wasn't there was a couple lady bruisers for sure in the in the fan Sure, they would tune you up to sweet. I can't imagine. Oh every also every dude out of there was five brothers Man, they were they would just go for you. They were fighting. They just go. Oh, we're gonna go fight You know I feel like those guys when I've been punched by them in my in my time and I have but punched by a lot of
Starting point is 00:05:53 Spackle on your forehead their hands are harder Yeah, their hands are coming out your quicker and with more precision Like when you get hit by like one of these type of guy like the guy with like the hard hand called goon mitts Yeah, and you deserved it because you were popping off with the mouth. You were grabbing at his lady At the Kenrick fair whatever they were called sure bazaars you go to bazaars No, you know when the church puts on a bizarre they have some rides now racket. They're doing gambling Yeah, they're bumping numbers. That's what they're doing gambling and selling pierogies No, our church never did that. I don't think but um man they were the best in the 80s
Starting point is 00:06:31 I'd go with me Mary Katherine and Uncle Red I've told you but you had an uncle red Yeah, Edward Flaherty. Shout out to him red hair red hair tall red hair also ran by the name of edge Hey, told you before a guitarist and you too? Or is he Ethan? Okay. They would take me on a Saturday night, just me. Maybe once in a while my brother, but I'd go. Man, they had a whole squad.
Starting point is 00:06:54 I've told you this before. I don't remember. Oh. I don't really listen when you speak. And they were tight with the priest and you know, it was nice. The sweet smell of funnel cake in the air. We had, we had a fair at Clinger.
Starting point is 00:07:07 Clinger was a local junior high. And they had a fair, well obviously the Pennsylvania State Fair. Clinger. Clinger, Clinger, you go into Clinger, they would do fireworks on like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Man.
Starting point is 00:07:18 Somebody had something in the story. Going to Clinger by yourself was a big, that was like, we're gonna... Everyone's gonna get... You entered that with... They dropped you off? The highest hopes. There's gonna be broads, I got 20 bucks in my pocket, get some funnel cake, maybe hit the Gravitron, show my moves off.
Starting point is 00:07:36 You were probably scared to death of those rides. No, at that point I was a little rambunctious as a kid. Were you? Not until I got older and I started getting injured that I really toned it down. You're on the Gravitron with your arms crossed so your titties don't bounce? Hahaha! They're up in my face. There's-
Starting point is 00:07:52 My- Hahaha! My little pre-PBSM boobs have slid up into my eyes. Couple of runny eggs over there, eh boy? Hahaha! I was petrified of the salt and pepper... machine. The thing that looks like.
Starting point is 00:08:05 Oh, you're in a cage that that spins? Yeah. Yeah. That, um. I always thought I was, I always had crippling anxiety at those things. I thought I was going to die. I was going to be the kid that died at the fair. I go through life thinking that I'm going to be the guy
Starting point is 00:08:18 that died doing whatever. That's always, I'm like, that's it. That's. Guy wearing the jean jacket? No! He had it coming. No, but that's it. That's I wear in the jean jacket He had it coming um No, but that was big. I was more afraid of Cuz I was in a specific age where the technology and manufacturing had increased right so there was rides that were pre
Starting point is 00:08:39 That were like wrought iron type shit. You know what I mean versus chrome or verse versus stately You know what I mean? Like you get on a ride like oh you could tell the new Versus the old ride safe. There was a little more hydraulics. Yes a little more cables You feel real safe with a little high drop. Yes Get a little some polished chrome on the outside not just like chicken wire and if I can zip yeah So you're a guy wearing an eyes on you're like, okay So that was a big thing for me. So like some of the tilt the world's I was on the fence about but you know the craziest ones are
Starting point is 00:09:14 the The swings that go around in a circle of those I never see they're so high you ever see that I give out It's just chain it When they give out, it's... Yeah, you go flying. You're 50. Well, that whole hydraulic thing drops. No, no.
Starting point is 00:09:29 I'm talking about the swings. I understand, but I'm saying when that goes, like there's videos... Oh, when that comes down? Of that just falling and everybody just turning to fucking... I'd be more scared getting slinged out. Talking to a kippy patty. Because the chain is... Kippy patty because the the chain is Medium-rare the chain is real thin. It's like a dog's chain
Starting point is 00:09:53 No, it's a sturdy chain. Yeah chain I think the integrity of chains are is pretty well documented is it and yeah chains Chains are strong now. I like cable Good cable good nice solid cable. Yeah, like cable. Good cable. Good, nice, solid cable. Yeah, I like cable. Uh-huh, now I get it. Less people bite it yearly at amusement parks and carnivals than you would think. Die? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:13 Oh, let's do an over-under. A year in...is this the United States? I believe so, yes. Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo o I'm saying I'm going under that. Dude, the waivers you would have to sign at Six Flags. I sign it under so my bet's right. Less than a hundred people. Yeah, still very high. Four and a half. Four and a half?
Starting point is 00:10:52 That's nothing! I'm saying! What happened to that half a guy? The top half's still kicking. I'd say the bottom half made it. Yikes. Four and a half people die a year at amusement parks and fairs in America. That's nothing.
Starting point is 00:11:06 That's it? Yeah. How many are maimed? Do you have that number? What's the maim report? It does say the number of energies are shockingly high. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:15 The injuries, the injury math ain't great. That's what I'll get you. Who are? That's true. And maimings also get put into the injury category. So it's like splinters waiting in line and legs ripped off. It's like a D.A. Juicing the numbers.
Starting point is 00:11:28 You know, like leg ripped off is an injury. Yeah, there should be a separate category. Leg ripped off. Legs and arms ripped off. I remember being on the the sea, the dragon. It was like you get on like a ship and it swings up and like that I think it was like the sea dragon or something Lock in right didn't lock me in that I mentioned that I was getting loose there was any you and Stutzky Thank you. Well. I think it was me and pattern me my buddy Neil. I believe it was Pat though
Starting point is 00:11:56 I know a guy named Neil. Yeah, it's a good shit. I think he listens. I know his brother Scott does something Oh, yeah, I'll tell you Neil hand week, but said it said Armstrong That's fun That's a pretty good one hand ready. Um Are you writing over there? Jesus Christ? Who are you Carson all of a sudden? I'm quick every once in a while and week. I said hand not Armstrong hand week He said he walked on the moon. I think he crawled. He had a couple of drinks in him.
Starting point is 00:12:29 It's not that. It's not that. Bit of a drinker. Bit of a lush. I fuck was this. Do we add another one? The serpentine, I believe, was on Mariners Pier in Wildwood and that one had tech that place killed people left that in the 80s and early 90s Well, there was somebody died every summer at that thing not every summer. There's a lot of me
Starting point is 00:12:56 I mean, yeah really swept shit was like it was like Nucky Thompson running that thing It was really swept shit under the rug. Oh to that place is it? No, Maury's Pier. Soury so that the the P the three Entertainment piers were Maury all owned by mr. Maury and the more is so much shit going on in while it was Maury's Mariners and then they opened wild wheels when I was a kid That was the third new pier where they put a big wooden roller coaster on I believe was called the great white Or something like that The slasher. They're not going to make it.
Starting point is 00:13:26 Yeah, I was going to say, you are not going to make that. The serpentine, I believe, was called and you. You got it pulled like you got in the roller coaster and it pulled you up backwards, right? Like jump all up, jump up backwards and then let you go and you come down to that like that fucking house again You go do all the loop the dupes the swoop to swoops, and then you go up Not like the same ramp kind of a diff next to it
Starting point is 00:13:53 But the same and then you do the whole thing in reverse and that was like when that technology was new and that reverse thing Never fucking worked people got stuck every single year every year stuck upside down stuck backward like the mechanism they didn't have it figured out yet yeah really jamed I did that three they don't account for that you know that blood rushing your head is no good somebody has a stroke three days later in the motel at the seashell motel. Yeah, okay, you're on a full roller coaster It gets stuck fully inverted immediately kill myself How if you got everyone in unison to like rock back and forth you think you could generate enough force to get? Yeah, you're gonna be able to coordinate that with people
Starting point is 00:14:38 Some guys chewing his arm off to get out of his vest. Oh, it was just screen other phones falling Oh, yeah, yeah, that would suck. Well, there was a famous one and that would be uncomfortable. There was a famous one in Wildwood when I was going there. I think I said before the kids hat fell off and he ran to go get it in a place where he shouldn't have. And it was one of those ones got his head kicked. Yeah. Your feet dang on a fucking kicked his head clean off. See, I heard that it was this guy's stepdad and his step kid lost the
Starting point is 00:15:06 hat and then he just the stepdad jumped over he got his head kicked off Paramount's carer with his carer. The truth story is freefall at Great Adventure a lady had a ponytail and her hair and her hair got ripped off at Skelter. Now that was true because I knew that broad. Mine was true though I'm almost positive mine is true. I swear to God Because they had a memorial for him Which is the last thing you want to see when you're click click clicking up a hill you know what I mean They had a memorial for him at the ride or bastard got his head kicked off at the ride. Yeah, it's the entertainment
Starting point is 00:15:40 Sad as that is Disney ever never do whatever you want down the street, but hey, we got to move tickets here We did a safety check we paid the fine you gotta be kidding me Yeah, that's the lesson you want to see as you're going down that noise I mean I get that's part of the experience and it scares you but at this point of the head coming off No, the click click click click click Kind of life. Do you think I'm living? They freaked me out the click-click. you don't need to do the click click. Yeah you do.
Starting point is 00:16:08 No. Builds it up. Yeah I don't like that. I think that's functional as well. I'm sure they have technology cables. That's so you don't go flying backwards, a click click click. I'd rather go back.
Starting point is 00:16:18 Probably lock you in. Go back down and get a soft pretzel call today. Going over one of those is really gonna get you. Kevin, let me tell you about Aura Frames. Shout out to Aura Frames. Yeah, you got Mother's Day coming up. What are you gonna get her? Do yourself a favor, get her the gift
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Starting point is 00:16:57 Boom, I got one. I got two or three for my mom. She gets them for her birthday's mother's day I just got one at the house. She's got one at the shore house She's got one in a car. I got my wife one strictly for naughty pick I was gonna say give your grandma a little jolt with that dick Mother's day entire family can download the aura app and share their images to the frame you or your brother your sister You can all send pictures of the kids to Nana. She gets them updated. It's great Well, you're showing off old pics of your little one's dance recital or sending your oldest kid off to prom,
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Starting point is 00:19:06 That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash garbage dot. Yep. I had something that I wanted to talk about and I'm not really sure. What can we do for you? I'm not really sure. I saw a saying that someone, it was one of the first time I've seen it written out
Starting point is 00:19:24 and I think I've been saying it wrong my whole time. Is it foolproof or fool's proof? The same, like as we have a blank proof plan. It's fool, no S, proof. Yeah, foolproof. Foolproof. Fool like a fool.
Starting point is 00:19:40 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even a fool could do it. It's not fool's proof. Or F-U-L-L, like it's foolproof. I thought it was like. You were wrong twice. Yeah, foolproof is what It's not fool's proof or f ull like I thought of proof I thought it was like you were wrong twice. Yeah, full proof is what you drink out of your Thought I thought it was like hey we fully proven this so the proof is full It's foolproof even a fool could do it yeah, that makes so much sense now. Yeah, I've never seen it written out though And it did not feel right
Starting point is 00:20:03 It's a foolproof. I've never said that full proof plan and it did not feel right. It's a foolproof. I've never said that full proof plan. How come no one's ever stopped me? What do you, they don't know what you're saying. It was a roof because you were presenting a very good plan. Wait, you were saying is foolproof. You were saying fool's proof. No, fool.
Starting point is 00:20:19 Like full like I have a full cup of water. Oh, that's what I can't really tell. It's foolproof. Now, fool and full is the same Annunciation full fool No, it's a fool. Whatever same thing He doesn't have his upper teeth. Let him slide. You don't worry about you. You're good kid. All right
Starting point is 00:20:37 Yeah, I was the first time one of those I realized I've been on I've made fun of a lot of people for that those things Play it by year, etc, etc But that was the first time I ever played by year My sister thought it was play it by year a lot of people do which what is play it by ear play Oh, like wolf here. Yeah. Yeah, like instead of reading the music you play it by year No, that's not what that term means though. I think that's where it comes from. We'll just play it by ear We'll just do it as it goes that would be that was a reference to let's say it give it a go. What do you have? I hear play it by ear
Starting point is 00:21:10 Oh, it means to not read music just to hear the song and play well But how does that have to do with it actually when you use it in terms in the saying? Yeah, I know saying is doesn't have anything to do with Being able to play it by ear is I think that's what it's in reference to I would have a spontaneously and according to the situation Yeah, yeah my ear Because that's what you do when you play it by ear when in music I guess I thought you were trying to mimic something like I've listened to this song and I can play it by ear That wouldn't be
Starting point is 00:21:37 spot Spontaneous now so jazz would be more play it by we're playing it by ear. Yes You're an uptight guy, huh? What? We're gonna play it by ear. All right, we'll have a very strict plan. We're gonna write it down first though, right? Relax, head kicker.
Starting point is 00:21:54 Wait, what? I don't know what just happened here. Genuinely lost to my own program. You got T-boned and Foley. Man, talk about fool's proof. But we got a gosh darn family episode, gang. Yes we do. As you know, when you sign up for the Patreon, we will answer your garbage question on the air. It's the best way to do it, baby. We get a lot of submissions, but Patreon gets the first crack at it. This one's, this is
Starting point is 00:22:23 from Joey Fatballs. Shout out to you. Is it garbage if your mom and her boyfriend burn down their house and try to collect the insurance money PS, they never got it. Jesus. That's rough, dude. Imagine that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:35 Going through all that and swinging a miss. I told you not to use those monogram rags. Ha ha ha ha ha. Damn, that's fucking arson. And insurance for us. Yeah, talk about an ultimate turn of fucking fate. You think you're gonna be laughing all the way to the bank in Tahiti. Let's say you know you're in the clink. Who gets away?
Starting point is 00:22:53 Nobody gets away with that. I've watched so many forensic files, man. It's crazy the science behind fire. Like how they can really trace it back. You lit a sock on fire and threw it on the couch. Like, damn, you got me. They can really trace it back like you lit a sock on fire and threw it on the couch like damn you got me They can really trace that shit back it's crazy it was a green sock yeah fuck yeah They can tell how it spread the burn patterns what the second they start throwing around accelerant. You're screwed. Yeah
Starting point is 00:23:19 There is an accelerant if you're gonna do that. You got to do something with one of the appliances Yeah, the electrical fire. Yeah, they're with one of the appliances. Yeah the electrical fire Yeah, they're always like it's it started at the electrical box, but that was covered in gasoline So you know what they can't prove it. I don't know if you clean if you can claim Your policy on this if you leave just I left a pilot on by accident I must have left a pilot on by accident and a joint blows up Yeah, but no it would be the pilot light blows out continues to fill with gas. The pilot light on is fine. I think right now the mine's
Starting point is 00:23:50 snappy snappy. It goes tick tick tick tick tick tick tick and then catches like it like that's the way it lights. I don't do that. You're saying leave a burner on a burner on the pilot light is the flame that's always on. Yeah, yeah. Leave the pilot leave the thing running with no flame. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's what I'm saying. I think like the idea with how I think I don't know if new electric hot water heaters, I don't think do it, but like gas, hot water heaters.
Starting point is 00:24:11 I'm talking about the stove. I know, but I think the pilot like going like the dangerous of the pilot light. Yeah. What I'm explaining, I believe, in my understanding was the pilot light is always lit on a hot water heater. That goes out. And you don't know it goes out. And the place fills with gas. That's when that's the pilot. I didn't know there was a pilot light down there.
Starting point is 00:24:32 Yeah, it's like it's a little blowtorch. It's constantly lit. It's the same thing on your stove. Yeah. Yeah, but your stove is not. It's yeah, there's one constantly lit in your stoves too. There's two of them. Yeah, one on each side.
Starting point is 00:24:43 Really? Yeah. Yeah. No new fear unlocked. Dude. One on each side. Really? Yeah. Nuh-uh. New fear unlocked. Dude, I leave the house. Wait.
Starting point is 00:24:50 I leave the house and I'll get halfway down the hall and I'll walk back just to make sure that they're all off. Oh, it's well documented that I take pictures of my range before I leave. Because I got the kitty cat in there. Yeah, I got Hansi Pansi Shamalamadansi. I can't be gassing him up. Oh no.
Starting point is 00:25:04 It's not on the range, it's in the actual oven. That's why when you turn the oven on, you don't hear it click, I got Hansi Ponsi Shama. I can't be gassing him. Oh now. It's it's not on the range It's in the actual oven. That's why we turn the oven on you don't hear it click click click click click You just hear the wolf. I thought we had technology past that Wow. Nope Still living in the Stone Age, baby. Whoo. So if you're gonna blow your house up, I Would say you got to do something like you can't just dump gas. They'll find the gas. Hey There's a question Fucking fully the bull over here. Relax. Will you turn into fucking mob talk real quick? Hey, you want a wacky guy you told me to my if you killed anybody also throw them in there
Starting point is 00:25:37 You can say that you and then you take the money and live you just gotta be sure to rip the teeth out first of course You just gotta be sure to rip the teeth out first. Of course. Duh. They're not amateurs. I assume if you're listening to this program, you're of a certain ilk. And before you blow up the house, make sure you burn your fingerprints off. I always thought that as a kid, if I was ever going to commit a crime, I'd burn my fingerprints off. Then they'd grow back and I'd be like, haha, good try. I just saw Men in Black, they have a really good system for doing that
Starting point is 00:26:05 It's that little ball that he does it only takes a couple of seconds just goes Yeah, cuz it's so got to hurt. Oh, yeah Get over it, but you get those cool shades in the suits man that way that was the epitome of cool when that dropped for me I was about your original men in black inner 11 years 10 years old something like that fucking That will Smith was all right home runs All right, let's see here. This is a pretty good one. This is from Bo Bandy Bo Bandy Bob Andy Bo Bandy Bo Bandy it's Bo B Andy. I wonder if that's a deep cut for
Starting point is 00:26:43 There will be blood the bandit track a bandit track. I Don't think so his bow was his son Bow was the old man's this is one word. So it's tough. It's B. Yeah, okay Yeah, I'm not sure or it could be Randy Randy fofendi banana fan of Bob Andy very true possibly It could be a guy named Bob and Andy and they're sharing an account. I don't know this goes deeper than we think I like Bob and Andy Bob and Andy's ice cream I might this is more of a debate which I'm what's trash here a zoo or an aquarium whoo interesting interest I have been to very bad versions of both really very very bad versions of both. Really? Very very bad versions of both. What bad aquariums have you been to?
Starting point is 00:27:27 Clear water in Florida or Tampa. Did you? Hold on pay to get in. Yes Here's the thing you start getting down to Florida Them rule them laws are weird down there You just started talking like fucking them laws ain't what they used to be we could do a zoo or an weird down there. You just started talking like fucking, damn laws ain't what they used to be. We could do a zoo or an aquarium down there, right? That's why there's all those gator things and all that stuff. No, that's different. This was an aquarium.
Starting point is 00:27:52 This was the one, remember there was a... No, what I'm saying is most states have one credible aquarium, the Baltimore Aquarium. The Camden Aquarium. Yes, and the state, they're funded by the state. I think you can privatize in Florida, if I'm not mistaken. That's where you get the, what, it was like a couple of goldfish and a squirrel?
Starting point is 00:28:14 No, they had that dolphin that had the... We got two rats that fight all the time. They had a dolphin? Oh, saddest thing, dude. In a hot tub? We couldn't, we wouldn't let my nephew look at it. We were like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no thing, dude. In a hot tub? We couldn't. We wouldn't let my nephew look at it. We were like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Starting point is 00:28:28 you don't need to see that. He was the one, there was a famous Disney movie where he had his tail cut off. What, in the movie? Yeah, they gave him like a, see, it's called like, it's probably like dolphin tails or something. Dolphin with the animatronic flipper or whatever. Did it have it in the thing?
Starting point is 00:28:45 And this way was based on this guy. I'm almost positive. Did he have the robot? It was like an old fucking total world. It was there was no hydraulic on it. And what was he swimming in? Up an above ground pool. Small, not big.
Starting point is 00:29:03 Oh, well, it ain't hurt no more boys He's up to the big above-ground pool in the sky Yeah, he had to die me this was fucking 15 years ago Well, I don't know if dolphins count the fatalities, but we found the for we found the point five point five He's the only half of the alpha. He didn't make it? When did they get him? What aquarium was he at? 2021. COVID, I heard. COVID got him. Clearwater Marine Aquarium. See if you can pull up some pics of that. Icarumba.
Starting point is 00:29:36 I got him. It's weird. It's not great. It was sad. I thought he was breathing on the glass and writing help with his nose. I don't speak dolphin. Kill me. He's trying to signal me You sons a bitch. You should have finished me off when you had the chance That's a lot of writing. He did bum a cig off me You got a light hey buddy, I picture I'm sitting on that like sitting with his like his backup on the on the pool like that Yeah, I've also been to a very bad zoo zoos are no you can find notorious bad zoos all over the country But I think more than often than not
Starting point is 00:30:15 The aquarium is gonna be nicer across the board. They're usually pretty clear I agree because there aren't many free aquariums and there are a bunch of free Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago is sad Is it Cape May County Zoo outside of Wildwood rough? Oh, is that where we were? Well, we we went for a walk when you're in Chicago. Yeah, there was just like emus hanging around Yeah, and it was in like a regular part the saddest lions you've ever seen in your life. They have lions in Chicago Yeah, they sell loose cigarettes. What are they doing the winter? so Craig They have lions in Chicago? Yeah, they sell loose cigarettes. What do they do in the winter? What's up, Greg?
Starting point is 00:30:47 Move, wait, bitch. How you going to say they turn into stick-up kids? Couple of Kia boys. Uh-huh. Yeah. There's one in what? At Cape Meizu, there's one. Lion peed on my whole family.
Starting point is 00:30:59 Really? Yeah, it was pretty. We woke him up. He didn't like that. We were screaming. What's lion pee smell like? It's got a musky. I didn't like that. We were screaming. We have a we have a piece smell like I Didn't really get hit I hid behind my mom, but we have a picture of it Oh stand up and go like that or throw it like what you see
Starting point is 00:31:15 fucking wailing on himself You're used to nieces a that's a human shield against line. I was young. I was like 18. No, I Human shield against lion piss? I was young, I was like 18. I was 5 or 6. I was scared of him. He was sleeping and it's me, my brother, my cousin, Liam, Sean, Danny, Catherine, Sarah. There's fucking 11 of us. They took us out.
Starting point is 00:31:38 I think it was like too hot for the beach or whatever. They were like, oh one day we'll just go inland. It's a little cooler or whatever. And man, we went to the know, go inland. It's a little cooler or whatever. And man, we went to the KMA County zoo and then we were screaming and wake this lineup, he came out, he took like three paces and then peed all like fucking. Mountain dew stream all over everybody. I was throwing rocks at him, but I didn't even hit him or nothing. Pussy.
Starting point is 00:32:02 We had a, my brother, we have a picture of it. My brother is dressed like Joe dirt It's he's got the high baggy socks on the little like short shorts and a rat tail. It's a killer pig We had a monkey shit on us one time We were down in like the I want you to pay for that I can't remember if we were in DC if we were in Dallas, but we were with that section of my family And we walked through the monkey things and it was all glass. It smelled like shit in there. And this one monkey was
Starting point is 00:32:30 on a rope and we were all standing there looking at him and he just swang and just took a dump right on the glass. Oh, dude. Murdered the whole family. Die. It was worth the price of the admission alone. Talked about that for years. Real classy operation. That's big news. I like an aquarium though.
Starting point is 00:32:51 I'm sorry to cut you off. Of course. Ideally, when it's done right, they're very soothing, especially if they got otters. I love otters. I like an indoor one where you can go under where the animals have enough space I know they're not having as much space as they did first of all they're all wrong
Starting point is 00:33:09 right research purposes, maybe but I know they should be out in the wild but Training but what is the water something to do? Jammed up get an off day. What's but what is the I guess the moral and this is again, I'm an idiot. But like what's the moral compass of like if it's born in captivity, could that then last outside? No, right. So it's like then they're relatively self-sustaining then.
Starting point is 00:33:41 No, but also the argument is in your removing them from the food. It's like most of those fish are just snacks for bigger fish. Sure. In the wild. I just want them to have enough room. Like a huge, when you go to like, like the Baltimore Aquarium was pretty sick from what I remember. And they had like a huge pool.
Starting point is 00:33:59 Yeah, I just- Where they were like all, it was like the ocean. They were all mixed in there. Did we go there together? No. What? No. When did we go to an aquarium together? Yeah, Did we go there together? No. What? No. When did we go to an aquarium together?
Starting point is 00:34:06 Yeah, that's a crazy question. No, it's not. We've done a bunch of stuff. Were we on the moon together? Did I do that with my family? No, no. Aquarium is not the moon. Um, I see what you're, yeah, I guess, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:34:19 But a bad aquarium's bad. Smell. I've never been to a bad aquarium. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. So I think I'm gauging on the trashier version of them And there's a bad aquarium is like there the wall where there's water mold smell It's it's rough bad mackerel floating around bed zoos and buckets of you know cod or whatever bad zoos also have bad smells
Starting point is 00:34:42 There's a good small zoo near where Patty lives. The Elmwood Zoo. It's really nice. They do a lot of classes and stuff like that. I gave you that. They take really good care of the animals. Really good care of the animals. I think one of them got out, though.
Starting point is 00:34:55 Years ago, something got away. I wouldn't blame it. I think a mountain lion or something like that. I can't remember. I think they caught it. Elmwood Zoo animal escapes See if anything comes up Probably Patty said the monkeys free do the poop thing again. No, this is the first thing that comes up No, a jaguar did not escape from the Elmwood Park. So, okay
Starting point is 00:35:20 Man That was big news talk about a side what establishment or rep who put that what website is that patch calm they're pretty they're pretty good I think right that's like self-sourced or whatever and also the Elmwood Park Zoo Facebook page we've received a number of rumors circulate and someone tell Foley and Patty to stop spreading these lies? A jaguar running around Norristown? Yes.
Starting point is 00:35:48 I don't know, man. The screams cover up to me. I think this is bigger than we think, man. That's what they want you to think, dude. He's out there, dude. He's out there, dude. Jaguars are scary. Jaguar.
Starting point is 00:36:00 This thing's gonna rip your throat out. I got another one. It's kind of in the same tip. This is from throat. It seems to rip your throat out. Um I got another one. It's kind of the same tip. Uh this is from Patty. DB Cougar. Pretty good. Pretty good. Uh this is from Patty. Uh can you say you're
Starting point is 00:36:16 going on vacation if you are driving to the destination? Yeah. That's vacation. Or is that going on a trip? No. It's vacation. Yeah, that's okay. Most, I mean, the great American vacation is done. We're taking a trip. We're going on vacation. That's back in the day. That's not, that's now no longer, I feel. What? No one's doing car trips like they used to do car trips. I think you're dead wrong. I think the cars are
Starting point is 00:36:38 better. I think families like that stuff. They pack it up. There's never been more passenger commercial flights in the history of time than today so that's clearly wrong. Not as many people. We've driven to a fraction of the road of the tour dates we've done. Okay. If that was the case we'd be driving more. I think someone's listening to this right now in a station wagon. I'm not saying it's not happening. Finally getting a moment of peace from these damn kids. I'm not saying it's not happening. Why? Because they're sleeping? Sure. I think families still do that a lot. Or they got the iPad going. It's got to be
Starting point is 00:37:10 down from the 80s. Sure. I'll give you that. That's all I'm saying. But I'm saying I think the vacation has... Cars are better. The idea of a vacation has changed for a lot of people. It's no longer where you can drive to in three hours. Do you think that people a lot more people are flying destination? But what if you drive there and you stay and you are going on a vacation? Taking a trip, taking a trip. All I'm saying is fly. Yes, I'm just trying to understand the the person who asked the question.
Starting point is 00:37:41 I understand your sentiments of if you drive somewhere for three hours and you spend a week there, it's a vacation. I'm saying, I think the idea of vacations is now more of, there's more people going to Mexico, there's more people going to Miami, there's more people going to Puerto Rico for the weekend, all of the people didn't used to do. So that is now the idea of a vacation, I think,
Starting point is 00:38:00 is what they're saying. And I think that they're saying the idea of driving cheapens it a bit. Does that make sense? OK, unless you're doing it as like a throwback, retro kind of feel. What's in what sense of driving? Yeah. Well, like that's like if the road trip is part of it. I think a lot of times when people were driving places, it was a monetary thing.
Starting point is 00:38:19 Not like cheaper. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. And funner. I mean, I don't we loaded up. We loaded up to Datsun to go down to course. Yeah. Yeah and funner. I mean, we loaded up. We loaded up to Dotson to go down to Texas. Great. That's what I'm saying. I think that trip now would be flown. That same exact trip would be flown. No one's driving Blue Belt of Texas anymore unless you need your car down there. There's a mountain top to Texas was upstate, Pennsylvania.
Starting point is 00:38:40 That's what I'm saying. That's that is now a flight broke down several times before we got out of mountaintop That was an unreliable car. You know, it's funny. I remember driving there. I don't remember driving back. I Assume we did man that drive back. Hey your family probably floor-formed your fat ass Caused a lot of trouble on the way down there You don't say yeah, I caused a lot of trouble on the way down there You don't say yeah, I caused a lot of trouble Drove my poor mother crazy. Yeah, I don't think anybody put your hands over your dad's eyes You're like fucking what's his name been and feel that are a league of their own Nelson or something still well still well, baby
Starting point is 00:39:20 Yeah, yeah, just watch that. I got smacked around a lot on that trip. Had it come in just causing Trouble. Kip, let's talk about liquid IV. Shout out the liquid IV. Are you barely touching a liquid that isn't coffee during the day or Do you carry a water jug around with you all day? Like a dorkus malorkus? Sure However, the way you hydrate checking things up with liquid IV with three times the electrolytes of a leading sports drink, bozos. Not the name names. Not to mention, you got some vitamins in there to do sugar-free options. It's absolutely fantastic.
Starting point is 00:39:52 Got white peach, you got grape. Unbelievable. Yeah, just mix one stick of the pouch with 16 ounces of water, and you're all set. As you know, I've been using it. I think it's a fantastic hydrator. It just makes you feel better, hungover or not. I use it hungover a lot. My trick is I do it when I get home from the bar, pop one of them, chug it up, let the nutrients
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Starting point is 00:40:40 I just watched that. Gina Davis is a tall drink of water. Love her. High carumba. Was that a big one for you growing up? What? I just watched that Gina Davis is a tall drink of water. Lover. Hi, Carumba. Was that a big one for you growing up? What? No, I keep calling it Field of Drinks. A League of Their Owns? Yeah, a League of Their Owns.
Starting point is 00:40:52 You do that strategy thing. A League of Their Owns. Yeah, a League of Their Owns. Huge hit my household. Yeah. Huge. I was one the whole family. It was a sports movie my mom could watch.
Starting point is 00:41:03 That was real big. I lived for the beginning with Lovitz. It was a sports movie. My mom could watch. That was real big I lived for the beginning with love. It's love. It was man. I did I never recognized it I hadn't watched it in 15 20 years. Wow animals away from me was great. Oh He's in I'll take care. I want you when he's talking to the the girl. It's not that pretty. Oh Man, the tilde or whatever name was yes. I'm well at you now Yeah, he was awesome. That was a great hell of a movie a hell of a I don't like the beginning in the end though I fast-forward that I don't it's a little sad like the one they're older. Oh, yeah Give me Madonna with the canes, but Donna was great. You forget how Rosie O'Donnell was great in it home run
Starting point is 00:41:41 Yeah home run no pun intended No pun intended Grand Slam. They were they were house was great. Oh forget about run. Yeah. Home run. No pun intended. No pun intended. No pun intended. In the Grand Slam. They were, they were. Tom Hanks was great. Oh, forget about it. Tom Hanks was.
Starting point is 00:41:50 Jimmy. Yeah, so was Gary Marshall is the guy who owns. Gary Marshall owns the league or whatever the team. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it was all right. Man, Gary Marshall has been that age, I feel, for 50 years. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:00 He's been that guy. I don't know him anything younger than that. He died like last year. No shit one of my faves Happy days Morgan Mindy uh-huh something else Well how's Gary I'd commercial man. I loved him and Louie the best. Yeah, it was great Alright this one's from smashing Blomkins
Starting point is 00:42:24 All right, this one's from smashing Blumpkins. This is just a sentence. That is a great name. This is just a sentence. Every folding closet door in my parents house is off track or broken and has been that way for at least 15 years. Hell yeah. You gotta put your finger up there to pop it back into the track. The ones that bend out. Yeah, we didn't have any bends. We had sliders. Woo! And man, I put my head through one, Danny threw me through another one, every one was fucking broken. Did you guys ever upgrade them in the mirrors? That was a big day in our house. Listen, my sister did. I remember the day it happened.
Starting point is 00:42:58 My dad put them in. They were always fucked up. My stepdad put them in. And I remember him cursing in the bedroom Yeah, I remember him because it's not that it's that hard But there's so much precision involved to get that right and so many moving parts in there Springs and things like it's and fidgets and dude. What are you doing man? You just worked fucking a 10-hour shift Then you're gonna come home have some spaghetti a couple of Coors lights and you're gonna try to do this I gotta get to sleep I got school in the morning sure dude you're just get somebody yeah what are you saving 50 bucks I'll skip
Starting point is 00:43:37 breakfast yeah but I think it's that one of those things now where it's like you can find those guy you can just go like I need a guy to come do that back in the day what are you gonna get out the yellow, yellow pages, call a guy, leave a message, he calls you back, comes out, gives you an estimate, he's on the hooch, like, you know, that kind of shit. Man. Yeah, my sister got to, when she became like a teenager
Starting point is 00:43:57 and like really started caring about how she looked, because my mom's room had them, I think that came with the house. Of course. They had them. I have to, with the course. They had them. I have to mine and Danny's were broken to the point where you could pull it. You could pull the the top would stay attached and you could.
Starting point is 00:44:11 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pull the bottom all the way out. Sure. Yeah. Make a beer pong table. Oh, man. It was my mom was like these. Every time she would come in these frickin doors, you break up. Dude, I mean, we'd be wrestled. We shared a room. So we'd be fightin'.
Starting point is 00:44:25 They were loose when you would pull them back in that bottom. They probably still are at this point. I mean, I haven't been in a minute, but. That's a good time. Or like, they're off the, every, yeah. You have to be a certain level of wealth, education, and class if all of your closet doors
Starting point is 00:44:42 are currently working in your apartment. Never. Or your house never they had you I've never met anybody who's just on who's just perfect Never have what the one of the one of the ones that fold so it pulls back and it's not on the thing But like when it's closed it's in the track, but when you open it It's for some reason it's too low and you'd be sitting there watching TV That is a wandering eye. I
Starting point is 00:45:10 Watched my stepdad with about a handful of drinks and I'm down to down the shore the one in the kitchen Doesn't You know how like with the press there's again there's like I drew it It's not hydraulics, but there's a lot of moving parts in the sense of like when it's pushed closed there's a amount of pressure that's pushing to hold it yeah there and this there just wasn't enough pressure and he I remember dude him fucking losing it because like you would close it it would hold close and he let go and you go alright and then we just go boop and pop open dude he was a he was had it had it probably half a sixer in them started school. He's fucking doors
Starting point is 00:45:48 I'll be outside of you. Leave me fucking losing your shit over a closet tour dude. It's too far about being on edge All right, let's see this one's from Guillermo $10 home You never have one read is it garbs you use Groupon on the reg dot dot dot where business businesses go to die Yeah, people that usually use Groupon are usually pretty tight with the funds especially with the tips a group of a Groupon of like Restaurants for restaurants do it they used to and you get what it's be like 10% off It was that what is that what it is? Or like a free appetizer or something?
Starting point is 00:46:27 Yeah, it was something like that. Or like buy one, get one, entrees. But you always got skewed. Oh, you always got iced on the tip in the worst way ever. I remember they were fun when they first started. I think it was more, I think what I remember was more of like experiences. Activity based.
Starting point is 00:46:43 Yeah, it was like, hey, you can go., I mean I remember my wife used it for kayaking on the Hudson. I used it for skydiving and it was the dopest groupon of all time. That makes sense. Used that recently. Yeah. That's crazy. That makes sense to me.
Starting point is 00:46:58 Would you go to Groupon? No, targeted ad, they got me. Man, AI knows Toby. Yikes. Hey, you want to risk your life at a discount? I'm not gonna forget it. Dad. But I do think for business, it is not the highest performing business. You're trying to build the bridge as you're crossing it. Yeah. And you're on your last legs, getting into Groupon. But I think for activities, I also know, we used to do, when we used to have to produce shitty comedy shows in New York, a lot of comedy shows use Groupon.
Starting point is 00:47:45 I'm like, hey, it's a... Yeah, we would beg, borrow, and steal on that. You just told somebody there not about your Eventbrite scam. Yeah, back in the day, not scam, I wouldn't say scam. Hustle. Hustle.
Starting point is 00:48:00 Hack. Strategy. Hack. Hack. I am a hack. It was fool's proof. So when you were running a free comedy show in New York. Like one does. About, there would be about a hundred of those a day. And everybody would be using the same sources.
Starting point is 00:48:16 And somebody told me this, I didn't figure this out on my own. But you would put, say the room held 50 people you would put 50 free tickets listed on Groupon or whatever and or event if you were a straight shooter if you're a straight shooter if you wanted to make yourself a little bit in it you because what happens is people sign up for the tickets and then like 10% show up if that correct so if you do 50 tickets five people might show up and then you go fuck so what you do is you make it out of like 500 tickets. And they also promote that more.
Starting point is 00:48:51 You know what I mean? Because they're like, oh, this is a big event. So it shows up more. And then 500 people say they're going to come. And then 40 end up coming. Still bomb anyway. Yeah, but we still stunk. Yeah. Nestle hustle. We do you had to fit to those days were there
Starting point is 00:49:11 was something they borrow and steal to get five people in the room. There was something else waiting tables that was a restaurant week. Did you have restaurant week in Chicago when you're waiting tables? No, it never affected us. We had it in Philly and New York, the cheapest fucks in the world. I'd be like a prefix menu Prefix menu. It's like $40 or something. Yeah. Yeah, I was in that up with a lava cake at the end of it Um, I'm in some dickhead in his fucking skank hooker way Coming in busting my balls and then leaving like a 10% tip. That's just yeah, that sucks
Starting point is 00:49:46 That's Horatio Sands by the way. Yes What is he home what's he home played piano man They also did that in Philly to put and it ended poorly to promote They also did that in Philly and it ended poorly to promote. So Wednesday nights in Philly are typically dead, right? Monday, Tuesday, Monday night football are just like whatever games and chip. Wednesday is typically dead in Philly specifically. So during the summer, everybody goes down the shore on the weekends. It's like a mass exodus out of Philly.
Starting point is 00:50:21 So to promote the nightlife, they did Center City Sips. Do you remember that? Yeah. So it was a bunch of bars would do happy hour from four to six, five to seven every Wednesday as part of Center City Sips. Like each maybe each one's profile different a week or whatever. The place is wall to wall with Center City Six. Oh, man. Specialty cocktails. I don't know if they had to stop it because about whatever maybe five years ago it just a huge melee happened on like JFK Boulevard or whatever. It was like a 50 on 50 fist fight of like a bunch of finance pros just all slugging it out and it was like so many people it became such a thing of like we're going to get blacked
Starting point is 00:51:01 out on Wednesday night. You know what I mean? It was like call out of work Thursday because Center City SIP starts They had drinks were cheap. You're going down a short Friday anyway Fuck they call for Friday early. Yeah get out of there, baby All right, let's see here This one's from not fully convinced. I guess not fully convinced. Oh, that's pretty good not fully convinced I like that. Uh is it garbage to have a dent in your garage door?
Starting point is 00:51:29 We yeah More like standard operating procedure. Yeah, of course that goes back to closet doors and we had man somebody run into it ours, I think I think I think we did it with a Basketball we did it with something We hit it with something and my mom immediately got pissed. And it was, I think they replaced it maybe like two years ago. He's been in that house like 20 something years. So I guess they replaced it.
Starting point is 00:51:55 It was dented all of the 90s, all of the 2000s, 2010s and 2020. Nice diagonal line, I'm sure. Sure. Yeah, that was always one of my mom or dad's faults. Usually my mom in a car or so. Yeah, yeah, it was usually that. Now that was ours was us. ours was busted off the track for a long time. Because we have an automatic, we have an automatic garage door.
Starting point is 00:52:20 But it's a what's it called? Doorbell thing, one of those things. Those are trashy. My dad's house had that. And it's real tricky, you gotta hit it in the right spot. But it's been like that since we lived there in 1987. It's worked. But for a long time it was off the, the motor didn't work and my dad wouldn't get it so he would just pull it.
Starting point is 00:52:43 You know, you can pull it and you can do it by your hand. Mm-hmm Yeah, it sounds like the whole garage is coming down when you do that sure a lot of gears moving quick a lot We had a it goes back like as my dad and step down were both in construction So like things would get fixed but anything that involved technology Just like we bought it and if it broke, it just existed broken in the hat. Like they weren't technology people. And I'm talking for a good 12 years.
Starting point is 00:53:16 You could only close our garage door from the keypad. You couldn't open it. From the keypad? You know how like we have like the keypad on the outside that flips up and you go blah, blah, blah. One, two, three, four. Never had that. You got to hit it from the inside and jump the laser. No, you could close it. You could hit enter and enter would close it like if you.
Starting point is 00:53:36 I think it was like if you hit enter twice, you could close it. But the numbers didn't work, so you couldn't open it. How would you open it? We had you. We could. You had to open it from the inside. Oh, you see what I'm saying? Did you have a thing in the car? I think the car thing worked.
Starting point is 00:53:50 It was just the keypad. The numbers were broken and we just existed that way. We all had to get keys from now. I went from being having the technology to enter the house. And then they were like, OK, we can't get in the house. We had to go get keys cut from now on. From now on. Everybody goes in the back door. This is what you're doing. Yeah. Yeah. Just never got a fix. I don't even
Starting point is 00:54:10 know if it's fixed right now. I'm being honest with you. Fuck it. Just anything with the technology they thought was a billion dollars. And we're like, you don't have to fix that. Yeah, we're leaving it. Yeah, that's just exiting a garage by hopping the laser made you feel like Indiana Jones That that was a game if my mom was at work and it was like me and my buddy or me and my neighbor we would just fucking see how long you could go and Then you would as you got taller you had to like jump and like backwards and like yeah and like flatten out of it
Starting point is 00:54:42 Yeah, we didn't have those in our garage. That thing hits you. Yeah, you're getting squashed. There ain't no laser in there. And that thing's heavy. So they dented it up. It's two tons of Detroit steel. Yeah, that's how they dented it up. My mom driving the car through there and it hit in the car.
Starting point is 00:54:59 So there's like a dent going up. So they were they were getting water in the garage. So we took pool noodles and cut them, like open them up and put them on the bottom like little bumpers sure that didn't work But if it's squashed that's supposed to stop the water from going in that's gonna work. I'm aware that Jesus Christ trial and error dog Trial and error I never dented one But I put a lot of baseballs into a lot of garage doors, and then was convinced I had destroyed them.
Starting point is 00:55:27 A lot of just like, hoo, you hear that sound? Uh-huh. Baaah. Breaking a window was brutal too. I don't think we ever, I don't think I ever broke a window. Really? Uh-uh. Man, I broke that garage window so many times.
Starting point is 00:55:41 Yeah, I don't think we ever did. The cross ball was just, pssh. My brother threw a tiny trash can at the bedroom window and smashed it and this evil genius somehow made it my fault I got the blame for it cuz I because I upset him mmm Toby shouldn't have been temporary insanity I like it nice it's pretty good Foley move say you do it Put the system on trial Cool flip-flop
Starting point is 00:56:13 May I approach the bench? Let's see this one's actually this is from derail. That's pretty good Are you garbage if you bet your kids on the over under on how long before Foley brings up food in every episode. Oh, your kids. Yeah. Picking money off children. Hamburgers. Yeah. And 47 minutes or whatever. I hope you kids took the over. You give me a call. That would have to be the over, right? I mean. Did we just make it a whole episode of Vision Food once? Maybe. I talked about pierogies. Yeah. Yeah, sorry. Oh, man. You know, I haven't had a pierogi in a minute.
Starting point is 00:56:54 Yeah. What they say is pretty good over there on the east side. That little Poland. Sure. Heard good thing. Sure. Potato pancakes. Yeah. Is that a lot? Could things. Sure. Potato pancakes. Yeah. Is that a latke? Could be. Yeah. How about a little spray they have? They call them potato pancakes. They're the best they ever had.
Starting point is 00:57:11 They're unbelievable. A little bit of salt and pepper. And we're all fun food talkers. I just had a scallion pancake that was made like a burrito with beef and sauce on the inside. It was unbelievable! Scallion pancake should only come that way. That's crazy. The scallion pancake is under inside. Whoa. It was unbelievable. Scallion Pancake should only come that way. That's crazy.
Starting point is 00:57:26 The Scallion Pancake is underrated. Yes. Man, that's really good. That's kind of like that place that the fellas hung out when we first got up here, that curry place. What was it called? Kati Roll. Kati Roll.
Starting point is 00:57:42 Kati Rolls are good. That's similar. That's almost like a thin naan or something like that, right? But not to a scallion pancake, right? No, I can see the similarities. Uh, kind of? I don't. It's like naan bread. That's a scallion pancake. I know. Sure. Wait, what's the connection? A scallion to a... They're flat? If anything, it's more of a burrito. The rolls are rolled up. It's like an Indian burrito.
Starting point is 00:58:10 That's how you had the scallion pancake was rolled up. Oh, it was rolled up. I thought it was cooked with it. No, no. I misrolled up. I apologize. What was inside? Just delicious beef and Chinese sauces. Really? Unreal. What'd you get that? In at a after I went to the the chip and putt out there shot about 97 three holes no yeah 1 million Jesus 297 297 on a chip and putt you got the sky and pancake it was delicious
Starting point is 00:58:42 that's not bad don't talk about a talk about an alright day Gee this one's not this is for Matt's Is it garbage to do your parents taxes for them when you're 17? I had to start doing my mom's taxes so I could apply for a FAFSA for college I tried to apply for student loans, but my mom didn't do her taxes So I was denied until I did them for she wasn She wasn't going to do it. Jesus. Give this kid a full ride. What are we doing here? You're doing taxes at 17.
Starting point is 00:59:08 That's a go getter. I didn't start till 28. Oh, man. That's fucking crazy. That's all right. Mom, I got in the state and you owe 97 grand. Yeah, man. There's no way that mom was happy he opened up the books.
Starting point is 00:59:20 No. No. No fucking way. He got a good deal on fucking a scholarship. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

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