Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Sneaking Beers with Kippy and Foley
Episode Date: February 25, 2021Kippy and Foley are back with a trashy one! The boys answer your listener questions and talk staying in nice hotels, sneaking beers, and doing the chores. Its a lot of fun! Thanks for the support. B...onus Episodes: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage?fan_landing=true Stereo: https://stereo.com/kevinryan Kushy Dreams: https://kushydreams.com Shirts: https://podcastmerch.com Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/foleygrams/ Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Â
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage, the show where you find out if
your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash.
Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey everybody out there, welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast, this is
Are You Garbage.
It's a show we sit down with your favorite comedies, we find out if they grew up classy
or if they're absolute trash.
I'm your host H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful evening from an undisclosed location
somewhere in the continental United States.
We got the heat on us folks, we're still out there on the lam.
My co-host, I don't even know where he is.
I don't even know.
They don't even tell me.
Plausible deniability.
Next thing you know, I'm in some warehouse in Brooklyn getting my fingernails pulled
out.
Not that much of my friend, I could tell you that.
I would cough you up in a second, give it up for the boss man, Kippy Kevin James Ryan.
Never rob a bank with this guy, jeez, last guy you wanted a foxhole with you, it was
the bald guy with the big forehead.
Get him.
What you want to do is you want to go two doors down, there's going to be a broadstand
in there.
Ask her, she's right up the steps.
Yeah, well, what's up everybody.
As always, thanks for listening and please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube, those numbers are true to fucking roof.
Also that patreon.com is cooking with gasolina, dude.
We got to put out a fucking Help Wanted sign, we need another line cook back there.
That place is bustling.
Dude, that place is on patreon.com, sign yourself up, get some fucking hot bonus episodes.
If you're not familiar with what you should be, you get bonus episodes at AYG, you get
bonus episodes of hard feelings, which the people are fucking loving by the way.
Is that the surprise hit of the season?
It is.
I didn't see that coming.
I thought that was just going to be me and you, you know, me calling you fat, you calling
me bald for an hour.
People are loving it.
So you get that.
I was watching the Golden Globe nominations waiting to hear about hard feelings on there.
So you can get Patriot, you can get hard feelings and then also each month we're going to do,
we do a live stream with the top tier members where we play AYG with you guys.
You ask us questions.
We ask you questions.
It's a good fucking time, guys.
Great time.
Get involved with that.
You know what I mean?
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah.
Get in the campaign.
Vote Foley Kippy 2024.
Let's go, baby.
Let's fucking do it.
And I don't like this how I feel like I'm in one of the kids from Malcolm and the Middle
Rooms.
And where were you?
The fucking United Arab Emirates or whatever it's called.
Where are you?
Dubai?
I'm currently in the Norwegian Consulate right now.
I'm technically in the country of Norway in Midtown if you want to know.
You think you're planting bugs in the Pakistani embassy?
I'm dressed like an exterminator.
I'm just like spraying.
Mustache on your eyes.
I don't know.
This kid's all fucked up.
They're going to get him.
They're going to get him.
You know what I was thinking about today before we get in?
This is a family episode, obviously, gang.
We're still not quite back in Tootsie's place.
Yeah.
Still hemmed up a bit.
So we're coming at you from remote locations.
Next week, we should be fucking revving to go.
Also, little note, sorry, a little bit more business.
Let's Snowden starts running his mouth, you know what I mean?
He's in the other room.
Want me to get him?
Eddie.
Hey, Dork, lose the glasses and keep your mouth shut.
Will you?
You're killing us.
Zip it, will you?
Call down at a front desk for some ice, will you?
My scotch is getting cold.
Let's go.
I got Capri Suns.
I got to melt down.
Hey, Radio Shack, why don't you keep that mouth shut?
Fucking USA, kid.
Let's go.
That's too funny.
A little bit more business.
The card should be going out in the next couple of days.
Obviously, we got hemmed up.
Everything's at the studio.
We can't go in.
So in the next couple of days, hopefully, everything clears up
and we can get them out for you.
People have been hitting me up.
I feel it feels like a Ponzi scheme.
Have they already started hitting you up?
You're going to make me nervous.
Oh, stop it.
No, just a couple of people like, yo,
when they're going out, this, that.
Yeah, they should be going out very soon, very soon.
We're trying.
We're fucking hemmed up, dude.
We're trying to operate.
There's a fucking global pandemic going on.
That message is from the Queens County Sheriff, by the way.
It came with a cease and a cease and desist letter as well.
You boys want to come in quietly or go out and shoot out?
I think that's from the Simpsons when
they try to take Ned Flanders away.
I tell you what, I was thinking about it.
Before we get into the questions, this is a family episode.
Just a family.
It's just us.
You look like you're on America's funniest videos.
It looks like someone's going to run up and kick you in the nuts.
I feel like a sugar glider should jump on my face right now.
This is what happens when me and the big man
don't spend time together.
We get a little loopy.
Hang on a second.
Hello, the giggles?
Yeah, I'm here.
Oh, man, I'm having a chuckle today.
Man, forget the cardio, huh?
This is all you need for the AYG in your life.
Oh, man.
Oh, that's good stuff.
That's what I'm saying.
I don't like this disparage, whatever it's called.
Your lighting looks all good.
Yeah.
So I'm at a hotel in Brooklyn.
We're doing a little bit of a staycation.
My wife's been sitting in the fucking apartment for a month.
She just moved here before the pandemic,
so she's been hemmed up in the apartment.
So we got a good deal through her through work for this.
So a couple of days we're doing BK.
Very nice.
Getting it on the cuff almost.
It's pretty cheap.
I don't trust you to as far as I can throw you out there.
Meanwhile, I'm at what?
Wait, what?
I heard an M. I hope it didn't say what you think I'm saying.
You got company privileges on the mini bar?
No, no.
Because I'll be over.
And the room sell ass.
Dude, those these prices on the fucking mini bar,
there's like a 16 ounce bot, not even 60.
Yeah, probably about a 12 ounce bottle of whiskey.
And it's 120 bucks for the 16 ounce bottle of fucking whiskey.
I said, yo, buddy, I got a fucking,
there's a there's a bodega on the corner.
I'll get a six or a paps.
Zip it.
Let's go.
Dude, if you did some shit like that,
my old man's credit card was down at the front desk.
Fucking Kong better be coming.
This better be it.
No way.
I don't even look at it.
My girl put leftovers in the fridge,
and I'm worried they're going to fucking,
I'm worried they're going to charge us for something.
You know what I mean?
Be like, hey, you move me.
Hotel leftovers?
Man, fucking, we are on hard times.
We are treading water here.
Jesus Christ, hippies bringing leftovers back to hotel.
No, we ordered, there's the kitchen in the hotel,
in one of the restaurants.
They don't do rooms.
They're not doing anything.
You got to go off and pick it up,
and then you can bring it back down and eat in the room.
Like a jerk off.
Yeah, like a real, but while I was up there, wait.
So we went up because everything's 25,
you're allowed 25% capacity in New York now.
But we were like, oh, let's just go look.
And it's, it was just not our,
this is also what I want to get to.
When you're, we're staying at a nice hotel,
obviously on, you know.
You've made that clear.
At it on a discounted rate.
Yikes, we are, but.
They don't look you the same, but that's what you're asking.
They know you're a bozer.
They don't know.
I think, I don't know how it works.
I don't know how it works,
but I think we're getting it on the back end or something.
I don't know what's going on.
Is the Montego somewhere in the vicinity?
No, I drove it into the East River.
Took a left off the bridge.
What am I, a jerk off?
There's just, I don't understand why rich people are mean.
Everybody's so nice.
Dude, like, there was like some sort of like,
discrepancy with the room when we got here,
what room we were going to get
or what we thought we were something.
Like just like, oh, I thought we were going to have
this something.
And like the way they hand is just so polite.
Like if that would have happened in like a fucking,
you know, a red roof in and fucking Cleveland,
dude, fucking guns would have been pulled.
Like, dude.
But they're just like, oh, sure.
I'm so sorry, Mr. Ryan.
Do you mind?
Do you want to go get a complimentary drink?
It's all fucking bananas.
Listen, dude, this is just our policy.
I don't know what to tell you.
It's a store policy.
I can't do anything about it.
I'm sorry, man.
I absolutely got.
Yeah, that's not what I'm saying.
That shit don't, for rich people, that shit don't,
I mean, not even rich.
We're at a fucking hotel in Brooklyn.
It's not like we're at like the Four Seasons or something.
But even just like when you're spending a little bit,
they spend a little bit of cash.
Everybody's nice.
And I'm so like, they're going to catch me.
They're going to know something's up.
You know what I mean?
It's the second they're not.
That's when you get into trouble.
The second they're not and you have some fucking rich dude
freaking out and see rich people know how to do it right.
They're not going to cause a scene most of the times
down there at the fucking at the front desk.
What they're going to do is they're
going to reach out to whatever fucking travel coordinator,
wherever the fuck, whatever assistant.
The right hand man is going to get yelled at.
Is going to get yelled at, which in turn
is going to fire off an email to the concierge, which
is going to end up getting fucking Debbie at the front desk
fucking fired.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's no good.
They're all scumbags.
I mean, I could get used to having a little bit of cash.
But unfortunately, I don't.
But I could get used to it.
You like bossing people around Jerkoff?
Yeah, we all do.
All right.
You like getting fucking $20 burgers
living up to the room?
20.
I wish.
I wish it was 20.
Nice shades.
What did they get you for a burger over there?
I just threw the receipt out.
Well, this is also how trash I am.
So we go up.
He kept your receipt for room service.
No, we can't.
No, well, if you get it's take out.
No need to go any further.
No, it's take out.
It's take out.
So we go up to the restaurant and we were going to order.
And we were like, do you want to sit here?
Because it was completely empty.
And it was like a nice view.
We're like, oh, we could sit here and chill
or we could go back down to the room.
But they were playing music or whatever.
And my wife's like, oh, I'm going to go back down to the room.
Like, this isn't my vibe.
I'm like, oh, I'll stay here and get the burgers.
You know what I mean?
But while I'm standing there waiting for the burgers,
I fucking sculled like fucking four IPAs, dude.
I was just like, dude, this waitress was looking at me.
Like, I was fucking, oh my, dude, it was a scene.
People were looking at me.
Make sure them fries are well done.
Dude, and they were like $9 or $10 beers, too.
But I haven't had one in a handful of days.
They were nice going down.
That's the thing about real booze bags, man.
Fucking put two or three away real quick.
Get fucking straightened out.
Get my head right, you know what I mean?
Get a bit fucking clear the head a little bit.
Get back in reality.
Take the fucking edge off.
You know what I want?
Go ahead, you got something else?
I'm just saying, but no, I'm so trapped.
No one else is doing that.
No one else was up there fucking slamming fucking
your Merman IPAs or whatever I was doing.
No.
Maybe a prosecutor from the Southern District
or something like that staying there who's
got a fucking tough day ahead of them.
Sure, after a long day or something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's not a good sign.
You OK?
You OK?
Check it out.
You know what I wanted to say to you was you really
have a plethora of cheap foreman to workman sayings.
And I realize that just from this week,
you know, we're going to be treading water for a little bit.
Yeah.
Friday's payday.
Friday's payday.
You just made that one up.
What did I mean?
That's not even the same, dude.
What could that even mean?
I don't know, work smarter than harder or something.
You're always hitting me with some of those.
Sure, sure, sure.
Got to get done.
Going to get done's a big one.
Yeah, that's what my whole family was.
They were all project managers, the journeymen,
the fucking, you know, the whole.
So I just got all the, I grew up pretty much on a job site.
So I just know all the lingo.
You know what I mean?
Trying to keep my head above water, huh?
You know what I mean?
I'm over here with like fucking roller quarters in my mouth.
What are you doing?
And I was thinking now that we got the when we get back
to Tooties, now that we have the new TV, can we get cable?
At Tooties?
Tooties.
So we can watch, we can watch the fights or something like that.
Have a couple of you want to be Schultz is what you want.
Yeah, now you're getting it.
I mean, we could.
It would be an additional expense of probably like 50 bucks a month.
That's patreon.com folks.
Yeah, I'm not paying for fucking, you know.
Well, here's the thing.
What I was thinking about this today.
OK, and it got me thinking about something.
I knew you would say that.
I knew you would say more or less that I would probably have to pay for it.
If I wanted it, you could pay for it.
I was curious about two things before we get into the questions.
Sure. What was
what was your chore situation as a kid?
And did they ever make you pay for anything?
Because I don't know if I've ever told you this and I thought it was.
I always thought this was really, really garbage.
We might have talked about this a little bit, but not in depth.
I had a buddy who from like the age of 12
until the age of 16 or 18, whenever he left the house,
he had to pay his cable bill.
What? That's bananas.
The fuck kind of heathens are you hanging out with?
I don't know.
But I remember I was like 15 when he told me
and like it, dude, it almost broke my heart.
I didn't want to watch TV at his house anymore.
I felt one of those kind of kids that got like divorce from his divorce
from his parents when he was like 14, like those kids
where the parents sign them off and he doesn't have to go to school.
He's smoking out front.
You're like, what's this guy all about?
What do you think I'm hanging out with?
He's a mechanic when he's like 13.
You're like, what the fuck is Jimmy doing?
Who do you think I'm hanging out with Drew Barrymore?
No, he was a regular kid.
Yo, I was just telling my wife that problem was doing
below it when she was like 11.
She was up. She was up to it.
She was, dude, I remember when I was a little kid, I was in love with her.
She's like, I think like almost my exact same age.
Yeah, no, that's I never did that.
And then the two I never really had to pay for anything like I had this,
like, you know, you would collect money from like birthdays or, you know,
whatever, you had a little bit of scratch.
That's how you got your you would keep the change
when you went to get the pizza or whatever.
And I was always about four or five bucks.
Put that in the piggy bank.
So you were skimming.
I was cooking the books at an early age.
Yeah. Oh, I mean, we've talked about that.
You always take the change.
Yeah, come on. Listen, we know each other.
We're friends. Just you and me here.
All right, Tooty's not around.
Of course, I still take that.
Why do you not get change back?
I know. So.
I would buy stuff if like I want.
I remember really one time I wanted like a camcorder.
I wanted like I wanted to make movies and stuff and like I'm not like, you know,
whatever, I just wanted to record stuff.
I thought that was cool.
So I bought a camcorder for like 400 bucks when I was like 12 or something.
Shot a couple of home pornos. No big deal.
But like my parents are like, yeah, if you want to buy that, like you buy that.
But like I wasn't like I wasn't buying milk and shit.
I wasn't like I wasn't contributing to the fucking household.
I can't believe I didn't bring it up until it until now.
I was watching because I was thinking about getting cable here
and then made me think about Tooty's and all that stuff.
And I just remember thinking back
and like on the couch one day in the middle of summer.
And this is when like, you know, we were I mean, we were we weren't poor,
but we weren't doing fantastic.
But we didn't know we were getting by, you know what I mean?
Shit was great. Sure.
But there was like a certain level of
things like you never thought about or never or never considered.
And, you know, luckily, fucking the cable and the power and all that stuff
wasn't one of them.
And I remember it was like a hot summer afternoon.
We were sitting there on his fucking couch.
And I just remember him like as I'm flipping and we're like
we were like fighting over the remote or something like that.
He's like, I got to pay for that.
And I'm like,
tell your mom, I'll take my cheez-its to go.
Ask for a Ziploc bag, because I am in the bricks.
OK, I felt horrible for the kid.
Yeah, I never did that.
And does very well now, does very well.
I'm sure he's fucking paying.
He was paying utility bills in elementary school.
Why the fuck?
Well, I mean, that kid's got a good head on his shoulders.
He should be retiring soon.
This guy was doing accounts receivable.
I know. I don't know.
I was terrible with that, man. God love my parents.
I never I never if they tried to teach me,
I never soaked any of that stuff up about money,
how to manage money, what to do, where to go, how to study.
No, no, no, I got I got none of that.
I was I was saying that to my mom the other day.
I'm like, if somebody even like kind of was like,
oh, you don't spend money, you don't have.
I would have been like, oh, really, you don't do that, you know,
like even that little bit.
And chores, I had to do like the trash was big.
I dreaded it, like bringing the trash up and down, letting the dog out,
that kind of shit, you know, mowing the lawn, had to mow the lawn all the time.
Had to mow the lawn, hate it, hate it.
Mow the lawn and rake the leaves in the fall.
You want to see two Foley boys with two big pusses on their face?
And their pants.
All right, let's get into some questions.
But before we do, let's take a quick second, Kip.
Let's talk about our old friends in the old big show.
What's that?
Over there on the stereo app that we do every Thursday night at 9 o'clock,
answering your guys' questions.
It's a good time.
Yeah, guys, check it out if you're not familiar.
Stereo.com slash Kevin Ryan or slash H Foley.
For, you know, we've been doing it for what, a couple of weeks now,
a handful of weeks.
It's been about a month.
We're going to be doing it some more for every Thursday night.
You guys get to ask us questions.
We answer them live on the air.
It's a good time.
It's a good way for you to get involved with us in the show.
You know what I mean?
It's just additional content for you.
Check it out.
Stereo.com slash Kevin Ryan slash H Foley.
We get to wet our beaks.
Oh yeah.
It's a good time.
And then also, from our other sponsor,
to good folks over there at Cushy Dreams, baby, Foley.
Creeping up on my favorite sponsor.
Creeping up on my favorite sponsor.
They really know what they're doing.
Guys, 2020 was a rough year for everybody.
And 2021 is starting out just as fucking crazy.
You know what I mean?
So our good friends at Cushy Dreams can help.
Cushy Dreams specializes in high quality, smokable CBD.
And CBD has been shown to help with anxiety, depression,
pain relief, inflammation.
100%.
From A to Z. CBD helps.
Foley is, I mean, they sent us samples.
And I mean, it's very rare that Foley takes the lead.
He stole all of the Cushy Dreams.
I got to be honest with you.
He fucking hijacked the studio.
I stole all the Cushy Dreams.
I stole the two containers that have some flour in it.
And then I took three pre-rolls.
And I remember I left the studio.
We had a rough day that day.
I fucking got in the car.
I drove home.
And as I was walking towards my house,
I lit up the Cushy Dreams dreams.
Fucking half of that set me completely straight.
Went upstairs, relaxed at a great night.
And I've been fucking hitting it every once in a while, man.
I love it.
The dreams put me to sleep.
I take a hit out of the hustle in the morning.
Get going.
And it makes me feel good.
Dude, you don't feel high.
It's fantastic.
Get on that Cushy Dreams gang.
Yeah.
And smoking it is the fastest and most effective way
to get CBD into your system.
The flour look, smells, tastes like high quality marijuana.
Every run is limited.
Small batch.
This is independent shit we're talking about here.
It goes through all the tests, compliance, purity,
all the info is on the website.
Get some high quality CBD and fight back against anxiety
and the crazy world.
Go to Cushydreams.com.
That's K-U-S-H-Y.
At checkout, use promo code Garbage, baby.
It's always garbage.
G-A-R-B-A-G-E for 20% off your next order.
Free shipping on orders over $20.
Smoke your CBD with promo code Garbage for 20% off P-A.
Now back to the show, baby.
And look at that.
We're already here doing live reads.
Talk about a couple of guys working with no net right now.
You think it's all moonlight and canoes.
We ain't there yet.
I know.
They're fucking fighting through it.
I've loved the fucking fans.
So some people are like, honestly, fucking awesome.
But some of the comments were like,
Foley's only coming out of my left ear.
I'm like, yeah, buddy, you're lucky.
I'm like, we find these things put together with duct tape.
Kippy did all the engineering on it, buddy.
You're lucky I didn't drop off a CD at your house
to listen to this fucking thing.
Be burning copies.
Remember that when CDs would just show up at your house,
like CD, different CD-ROMs and stuff like that?
Yeah, you used to have like 4 million hours of fucking AOL
online or whatever.
They just send them out.
Oh, really?
That's what that was?
I would never put something like that on my computer.
Something that came in the mail.
Yeah, too busy looking at your fucking dirty movies.
There's not enough viruses and those things
back in the early 2000s.
I was a Blu-ray kid.
I don't know what to tell you.
All right, let's give it some fucking questions here.
Let's have a good time.
Yeah.
We love it.
Give them the spiel, Kippy.
I'll do the spiel while you're doing that.
As you know, when you sign up for patreon.com,
you get your question asked on the air.
Oh, yeah.
That it?
That how you do it?
I love how you don't even know this spiel.
Yeah, guys, as we get so many requests, people sending in.
I like how you do it.
Well, just people sending so many.
I don't want to feel it.
I don't want to sound like a dick,
but this is the best way to do it.
So when you sign up for Patreon, we'll read your questions.
We have a bit of a backlog.
We're going to get to everybody.
We appreciate all the fucking support.
I can't help that the patron's cooking, baby, to fish
or jumping on a boat.
You know what I mean?
I can't get all the questions asked.
We're just getting to him.
Yeah, the beard's coming in real nice.
Yeah, one of the ladies said I should grow a beard, too.
What do you think of him?
Not my ladies.
Can we grow one here by the forehead?
Can I get a little merkin?
All right, you're a funny guy.
We got a funny guy.
This guy's a real funny guy.
All right, this one's just funny.
This is from Jono.
Did you debate signing up for Patreon
after the first of the month to avoid two charges?
Also, did you use a Montana zip code to avoid taxes?
Johnny, my fucking man.
That is a fucking, I mean, this guy,
I thought I was playing chess, not checking.
Wait, what's up in Montana?
What's up in Montana?
You don't got to pay?
I guess it's like Delaware, probably.
I guess they don't have sales tax or something.
I tell you, my eyes have been on three states ever
since you told me that.
Texas, Florida, and now Montana.
I like what I'm hearing.
Oh, yeah, that's the income tax.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tax bracket Foley, huh?
Down there in Miami?
Mixing it up with Gronk and Tommy B?
Well, I mean, you technically could.
You could set it up.
You know, you could just be a resident,
and your income would come from there or something.
I don't know how it works.
What do I look like?
This is from Jeff.
What?
A real shifty guy.
Yeah.
Guy who knows how to fund some numbers.
I'm currently in a hotel room under a German name right now.
What do I know?
12, with 12 Pat sports in different countries
that nominate money.
What the fuck?
I know.
I don't know what just happened there.
All right, this is, I don't think we've done this.
This one's from Garrett.
Wait, hold on.
To answer that question, that's something
that we've, we are aware of, and we've discussed that.
You know what I mean?
We don't want to bang people out for two things.
Sure, but people, no.
But also, if you sign up, you get to listen to all
of the past episodes, you know what I mean?
So if you sign up for the $5 level,
you get fucking five months' worth of shit already
for that five bucks, you know?
So it's like, that's the way people view it.
That's the way that's viewed on Patreon.
But yes, wait till the first and sign up at the first,
whatever you need, baby.
Absolutely, yeah, we're all about it.
We're all about the savings here.
I do the same kind of shit.
I know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you do you.
I got, I don't hate it.
I only keep cable, I only keep my internet
going for 23 days out of the month.
Shut it down for a week.
Take the day off, you know what I mean?
This is from Garrett.
I don't think we did it.
Did you ever have a lucky rabbit's foot?
Dude, we've talked about this.
Have we?
Yeah, I've asked this as a question.
And let me tell you something.
If the answer is yes, get the fuck out of here.
I felt one of those things.
Dude, what are you doing?
I still don't know.
Were they real rabbits feet?
I'm sure some of them were.
But either way, how is that good?
Who is it?
Who are you hanging out with?
Davey Crockett, what the fuck's going on here?
Who's walking around with animal parts?
I knew a couple of guys that had them,
like on their keychains and stuff like that.
That shit's really, you were really
running with the cool crowd, huh?
Pillars of industry.
Everybody's got fucking animal pelts on there.
You fucking loser.
Dressed up like, you're fucking dressed up like Braveheart
walking to lunch.
Fucking man.
Fucking rabbits feet, snakeskins, frog legs.
It's like fucking pet cemetery over here with these guys.
Yeah, moving.
I never, I remember somebody.
I remember my buddy Neil showed me one.
He was like, my lucky rabbits foot.
I was like, check, please, buddy.
Fucking, I think I got to get home later.
Fucking rabbits foot.
Didn't your grandma just die?
What the fuck's that?
Yeah, how lucky.
I think your brother just get hit by a bus.
Did you just lunch it in the fucking kickball game?
What are you?
Dude, looking back on that, how the fuck did I
would love to know the origin of that,
how that brings you luck to have a cute little bunny's foot.
I could see if it was, OK, a bear claw or something like that.
What are you in the revenant?
Shut up.
You got to earn it.
Or like a hawks beak or something like that.
What was big when I was a kid was real big, a shark's tooth.
Dude, how corny was a fucking shark's tooth?
Ah, man, right up there with a puka necklace.
Yeah, dude, I used to rock a shark's tooth.
Like, you made it all the way to the Ocean City boardwalk.
Look at you.
You're a real tough guy.
No, we went to the Camden Aquarium.
We didn't even make it to the coast.
What a scumbag.
You made some intern go in there and get it.
Hey, get in there, will you?
I want one from the back, too.
Little fat kippy sitting there eating a dinner roll.
I want it to get.
Let me get a molar, will you?
Dad, tell this bum I want a molar, will you?
And my kid says he wants a molar.
All right, sir.
Dude, shark's teeth.
Take a hiker, bitch.
Yeah, it was tough.
Beat it.
It was tough.
You know what, I've been wanting to bring up.
I didn't know when to bring it up,
and I was relatively afraid to bring it up in front of a gas
pee, you know what I mean?
I wasn't sure how low it would be taken.
But I remember at one point when I was like a teenager,
I don't know, 10 or something, I found where, you know,
I don't know if she was keeping my teeth from when
I was a kid, my baby teeth, like when I would lose them.
And my baby sitter was doing it?
Who's doing this?
My mom, the pizza.
Oh.
I thought it was just like a neighbor.
Yeah, that's my neighbor, Ducky, collected my teeth.
Mr. Williamson, don't forget to bring
those teeth over here.
That and my boogers.
Hey, boogers in your underwear, bring them over.
She was saving them.
I think she would, I don't know, I don't know.
I found a handful of them in something when I was older.
And I'm like, what are these?
She's like, they were from when you were younger.
And I was like, oh, my God.
Yeah, bitch, they're my teeth.
Yeah, you fucking loser.
There was a trick question.
I didn't think it was a set of keys, honey.
What the fuck are you doing with them?
Fucking Buffalo Bills, my mom, what the shit?
Yeah, it was a little sketchy.
That's one of those things where I'm like, all right, moving on.
Dude, I don't know.
I remember my brother brought one home from, he had sharks.
He had sharks teeth, which was weird.
Now, he brought a molar home that he had pulled.
And it was like, perfect.
They had gotten the root and everything out of it.
I remember that lasted like a night in the house.
And my mom was like, get that fucking thing out of here.
Go bury that in the yard or something.
We don't want that in here.
Yeah, that's a problem.
Folies don't like that superstition shit.
We don't like that.
We don't want teeth or bones or anything like that.
Fucking pet cemetery.
We used to, yeah.
You got cremated.
You're out on the deck.
You're not coming inside.
I'm paying that.
It's not crossing the entrance.
Not crossing the portal to the domicile.
You get doused in garlic water and leave it.
You're hanging out at the pool at Club Foley.
You get to cool off in the summer,
but you ain't coming in a house.
No.
No, they don't go for that.
They don't go for that shit.
That's fucking funny.
This one's just, this one's insane.
This is from Pinkrazio.
Finally got the sand out of my clit and booked a one-way
flight to Wuhan, Ramirez.
Shout out to the Histerinas.
Shout out to the Histerinas.
This is bananas.
Have you ever washed your dishes in the shower?
What?
I guess if they were too much or something?
I don't fucking know.
But no, the answer is no.
And I think if you're doing that,
you should go to jail or something.
That's like college dorm shit, maybe.
Or if you live in a motel, when you're staying weekly
at the motel, maybe.
You fucking, you wash out a pot of ramen
in the shower with you.
No kitchenette?
Yeah, that's nuts.
That's kooky.
I don't, I guess people do it though.
I mean, if he's asking, that's the thing.
Some of these questions are fucking bonkos.
But then people like comment.
They're like, oh, I do that.
And I'm like, oh my, we got some real dirtballs
listening to the show.
I like it.
I love it.
I know.
I know.
That's crazy.
I feel like I'm waiting for somebody
to come in and assassinate you from those curtains right now.
I'm kind of, it's kind of born supremacy a little bit,
right?
Just waiting for a silencer.
I'm waiting for a shadowy figure to come in.
Fucking.
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh.
All right, this is.
OK, let's go.
This is from Jeff Charmin on the old Patreon air.
Is it garbage to eat peanut butter out of the jar with a spoon?
It is, but it's also one of my favorite things.
Man, I'm telling you.
I remember the first time my buddy, Liam,
showed me that you could do, we did it at his house,
which is gross.
You do it at someone else's house, it's disgusting.
Oh, I mean, I would say even it's disgusting
if you do it at your family's house.
I have my own peanut butter that nobody touched.
Well, I'm saying if you do it in Europe,
if it's you and your girl, you do it at your house,
whatever, you know what I mean?
Of course, yeah, yeah, of course.
But even as a kid, if you have multiple family members
mixed in there, because I don't know about you,
but the peanut butter wasn't kept.
We didn't know about peanut butter storage
the way we know about now.
What were you doing with it?
It was in the fridge, usually.
What?
Yeah, we were, we didn't know.
We didn't know and cannot not put it in the fridge.
It was in the fridge.
Let me tell you how many loaves of bread I tore the fuck up.
Dude, a piece of white bread does not stand a chance
against some fucking cold PB.
What do you do with it?
Like the Polish fighting off the Blitzkrieg,
you know what I mean?
It didn't work out.
Fucking scorched earth, Dadio.
No way.
Dude, it was bad news.
And there would always be like a piece of butter
or jelly or crumbs or something.
Dude, crumbs and a peanut butter.
Man.
Dude, I can tell a lot about your upbringing.
If I go to your house and you got
crumbs in your peanut butter, you're trash.
First of all, you're putting peanut butter on toast,
which is fucking suspect to be given.
Oh, dude, big PB.
Dude, fucking peanut butter on fucking white toast
with a huge glass of milk.
Oh, my god.
That'll fucking, dude, I only got that on my birthdays.
Good night.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
On election day, you get one of those.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, we didn't know that.
We weren't good with it.
That's crazy.
But I'll tell you what, it is better
when it's cold when you're doing the spoon.
It's like ice cream.
It's like a little dessert.
Yeah, this was also the first time.
Did you, growing up, did you have a dishwasher?
What did you just do?
You were about to start interrogating yourself
with that light.
Why are you so fat?
I don't know why am I?
Getting pretty hot under these lights, eh, Foley?
No, I want to know why your lighting looks so much better
than that.
You look like you're on fucking Good Morning America.
I look like I'm the biggest fucker.
Dude, you seriously look like you're at all.
You look like you're, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee.
You look like you're one of those fucking YouTube videos
where a goat shows up in the back.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Number 10, a guy is recording a podcast
when all of a sudden his bedroom door slightly opens.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Yeah, well, I think if one thing gets your camera,
I look like I'm on Good Morning America.
You do!
You do.
I'm waiting for a fucking, Mike STrehan to fucking start here.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
I'm starting Lisbin all over you.
That's what I'm waiting for.
I'm alive with Regis and Kippy.
I got to go to Kippy, though.
No, I think my camera's better.
I got a newer computer.
I got to.
It's like a whole thing.
I don't know what it is, man.
I look like I'm in the, you look like you're fucking me.
You don't look good.
Hold on, Musks House.
I think I'm in the Russian space station.
Start floating upside down.
I don't like this, man.
I don't like this.
It's just eating astronaut ice cream.
Little bubble of water.
You look like your own VHS.
Yeah, I don't like it, man.
I got a good light.
There's a desk light at the hotel.
So I got a desk light right above my thing.
Like the ring.
I got a desk light, too.
Look at that.
But I put a tissue on it to soften it.
And I think my camera's just better, I think.
It's a newer computer.
I'm not fucking bragging.
I'm just fucking saying.
Did you?
Not where the ghost is going to come.
Dude, yeah.
Right there.
Come on, right there.
Also, I can see four doors and they're all open.
What's going on in your apartment?
He closed the fucking door.
And he got both closets are open.
I see through one door into another door.
I can see the toilet from here.
What's going on?
No, you can't.
That's not the toilet.
That's a mirror out there.
I'm in the office.
What do you mean?
That's my, that's my closet.
And that's the door to the office.
I can't close it because the baby's
got to come in and do her little stinker do's.
She's got to take a little dinker, the little key cat.
She's got to come in and do poopies.
Gotcha.
Back to where we were.
Were you, you had a dishwasher growing up, right?
Yeah.
What the fuck?
That's how this started.
Well, what are you?
What am I fucking?
Ray Charles' mom?
Yeah, I had a fucking dishwasher.
Ray Charles' mom?
What does that even mean?
She was washing the clothes outside and washing the dishes
outside.
No, I don't remember that.
No, we had a fucking washing machine.
Would you go to school with them?
I was the only kid that would sit with them.
You know what I mean?
This is a different time.
I had to help them off the bus.
Of course, we had a dishwasher that we overused.
There was never any.
I didn't find that until my sister-in-law told me this,
that the sink is for washing.
The dishwasher is for sanitizing.
That's how she does it.
She washes the dishes.
Yeah, we do too.
We're a wash family, and it's pretty contentious,
because my wife would throw anything in the dishwasher.
And I'm like, you got to wash it first.
Really?
I don't wash.
I'll get whatever.
It's like OCD, too, a little.
It's just the way my mom did it.
It's the way it was like every plate's rinsed.
And I'll get the sponge and give it a once or twice.
I'll get the, you know, if there's
like sriracha sauce or something dried on there,
I get that off or whatever it is.
Now, we ruined a lot of, I think we just went through.
Yeah, we went through a good amount of dishwashers
when I was in high school.
We'd throw, there'd be fucking bone.
And you were in high school?
So you went through multiple and four years?
You went through multiple dishwashers in four years?
No way.
I remember we had like two or three dishwashers
when I was a kid, honestly.
Because we would fucking just throw anything in there
that would always back up or break or this or that.
There'd be like fucking pork chop bone.
You'd make a fucking stew out of what you'd find
in my fucking kitchen.
I ask.
Little cascade stew.
Oh, I'll tell you what, though, there was nothing.
There was nothing better than getting a fresh glass
out of the fucking dishwasher.
Still a little warm.
That's the definition of clean living right there.
Smells a little soapy.
Good night.
Yeah, fucking drop some fresh cubes in that.
Crack open a screamer.
Good bye and good luck.
I'll pay you that right back.
I'll be on my way.
I ask because I never, my one buddy, I guess,
didn't have one.
And we wanted spoons for something.
Could have been, you know, peanut butter.
So I don't know what it was for, but I remember he just
pulled like a spoon out of the sink
and like washed it with his hand and was like here.
And I had never known that like there was another way.
I never knew that you just wash.
I was like a seven-year-old kid or whatever.
I didn't know you could wash without a dishwasher, you know?
I mean, in hindsight, 2020, I've lived without dishwashers.
I get it, but like, I remember him handing me
like a wet spoon until I do something.
And I was like, buddy, listen, get the dishes.
We'll go over to Denise's house and I'll fucking show you
how you do it with the cascade.
I ain't using no wet fucking utensil to eat anything, OK?
And I don't trust you just rubbing your finger over it
either.
Some of my buddies.
I need this thing steam cleaned or something.
Send it to the dry cleaners.
Some of my buddies' families etiquette on the sink shocked me.
Shocked me.
Like, yeah, just fucking, they ever look at somebody's sink
and there's like dishes in there?
It just looks so much grosser than it actually is,
because you don't know.
Yeah, you don't know whose dishes they are,
what mouth they've been in, or what was cooking yesterday
or something.
Yeah, I don't fuck with it.
What spoon I'm gone.
Yeah, all right.
Coming up, this is from Ian.
Have you ever slept on your bed without sheets?
On the rag, dude.
Really?
Yeah, on the rag.
If I'm supposed, if the sheets all get taken down
to the laundry mat and I don't pick them up,
yeah, it'll be a night or two when it'll happen.
I'll take serious.
I'll take serious heat for it.
You and your girl are sleeping on just a fucking raw mattress?
It's happened, yeah.
But we have the feather bed.
Like you just pulled a bank job or something?
Who's doing like your Tony Soprano at the end?
Fucking hanging out with an AR-15 on an unmade bed.
Going to the mattresses.
Yeah, I've done it in college or drunk or something.
If you come home, I'll throw like, I'll try.
It's just too uncomfortable.
I'd have to feel like a beach towel down.
I'd have to do something.
Here's my thing.
Anything that's like a little bit of a change,
I'm OK with it.
Like I can sleep in my jeans.
I can sleep with just the comforter on the bed
with the pillowcase.
I don't even really need pillowcases.
With the right pillow, I don't really need a pillowcase.
I'm not going to lie to you.
I certainly don't want a fucking duvet set
with all that shit.
I hate those pillows.
The pillows that are on the outside, we have them now.
Pillows that are on the outside.
What do you mean, pillows are on the outside?
The pillows that go on the outside
that have the same matching cover as the blanket
and the bottom of the bed and all, the duvet set.
I don't like that shit.
We got it.
Duvet's new to me.
I never knew what a duvet was.
I feel like I'm hugging a ballerina.
I don't want all that stuff.
You want functional.
Yeah, I want functional.
I need a lot of pillows, too, Kippy.
Have I told you about my pillows?
We've gone into the pillows a lot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think I'm a three, and then I got like a husband
I sleep with, I call it.
All right, let's see.
Another dirty dishes.
This is from Travis.
Have you ever used febrize on a sink full of dirty dishes?
What the fuck is that?
Get out of here.
Yeah, you guys are fucking savages.
What are we doing?
I mean, I'm a fucking as big a dirtbag as it gets.
A sink?
Oh, I mean, like maybe just spray it to spray it down?
No, like if your sink smells and you
don't feel like doing all the dishes
or you've got people coming over,
you give it a couple of spritz to kill the smell.
God damn, man, fuck, no.
I've definitely like in college,
college sinks are different, especially when you're
living with like four or five dudes or whatever,
and you'd be having people over, and they're like,
I'm not doing all the fucking Andrews dishes.
You know what I mean?
Like, fuck this guy, but you're having people over,
so I'd put like a towel or something over the sink,
and just be like, hey, this is awful, like we're partying.
Don't look at the fucking sink.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, when you were in college and shit, it was different.
It was fucking mayhem.
I told you when we were at the theater,
if one of our chores was to do the dishes,
we would just take a whole sink full of dishes
out of the sink or out of our room
and just take them and throw them in a dumpster
or something like that.
Yeah, I've done that for sure.
Like, especially moving out of somewhere,
I've been like, oh, fuck it.
I still trash, well, I just moved in September.
I still trash everything.
Like, I'm like, I'll fucking, I'm not carrying this thing
that was in six bucks, I'll buy a new one.
This place, I'm hemmed up now.
Like, if I had to move, I would have,
there would be, you know, I got a couple of days
and all that stuff, but literally,
up until moving into this apartment
or into this building, I did, it was literally,
it was like in heat.
I could have been out the door in 30 fucking seconds.
Yeah.
Fucking computer guitar, bag of clothes, I'm fucking gone.
Different name, different city, like a ghost.
Also, the guitar reminds me,
I think we talked about it on the Patreon episode,
the song that you sang, what was it?
Hey girl, or hey beautiful, or?
I don't know, what, what is this?
What was it?
What is this interrogation?
What was it?
That's for the Patreon, that's for family.
Whatever it was, somebody said we,
when we get to like, the next benchmark for Patreon
should be, we make a music video for that song
and I fucking want to.
I don't think we, I don't have that song recorded,
but I got plenty of tracks that we can make music.
You just want to use me to spark your fucking music career.
Hey, I got a couple of hits in there.
You call up your mom, hey, Kippy said he'd press the demo.
Get the band back together.
Kippy's doing pay to play on K-Rock for the big guy.
Absolutely, the song was called Sunny Day.
Whatever, okay, I'm just saying.
So that, you sang the guitar remind me.
This one's from Terry T-Bone, aka T-Bone Stake.
We got a T, we got a T-Bone in the Patreon.
Shout out to him.
Also, T-Bone in here, shout out,
big fucking shout out to T-Bone.
If anybody, I mean, if anybody,
if they're trying to get an episode out on my own,
if anybody deserves a raise,
it's motherfucking T-Bone McMuffin.
He's worth, he's worth every penny.
That guy does a fucking bang up job, great at what he does.
Super funny guy from Chicago, check him out.
We'll be back there next week and Toadies can't wait.
Terry T-Bone, have you ever run out of soap
and just washed yourself with shampoo?
And I'm going to come out and say,
for like most of the time I do that.
I've used shampoo for probably 50% of the times
I'll just use shampoo.
I like the way it smells.
I don't, you know what I mean?
As long as it doesn't have any.
I like the way it feels too.
As long as it doesn't have any,
listen, as long as it doesn't have any conditioner in it,
there is no difference between fucking body wash
and shampoo.
No.
There's no difference.
They're lying to you, do you hear me?
It's all marketing.
You're falling for it.
If I would end up, you know, high school, college,
I end up in my girlfriend's shower at like her parents,
maybe their shore house or something like that.
And I look over and see a brand new bottle of herbal essence.
That stuff in the 2000s was, I used to fucking
everywhere.
Whole handful of that and tugged my little root too.
Oh yeah.
Come out of there smelling like Liz Claiborne,
ready for dinner.
Good night.
Hello, gentlemen.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That was fucking fantastic.
That was big.
And this is from Katie who has home run questions,
by the way.
Have you ever gone to the bank to try to dispute
an overdraft fee?
And I mean, what are we, like, I've done that
within five months ago, I've done that.
I've, you know, I like to fly a little too close
to the sun sometimes and the account gets overdrawn.
But I know I used to-
I've learned my lessons.
Really?
I still-
Oh, I'm like a red, I'm a reformed man, I'll tell you that.
No trouble out of me, sir.
They've gotten me too many times on that.
Yeah, I've gotten hit a bunch.
I still do when I call and they go, oh, we can't do it.
I go, let me talk to your manager.
And he goes, oh, we've already approved two
within the past six months.
I say, zip it.
I know it's three.
I know, what are we doing here?
We're going round and around.
I know I'm allowed-
You're selling the wrong.
You're such a scumbag.
What do you mean?
Sir, we've already approved seven for the week.
Yeah, listen.
Listen, yeah.
Well, it's also like I bought a pack of gum.
You're gonna charge me 38 bucks
for the pack of gum?
Get out of here, bozo.
Does it always work?
They'll do like three every six.
I forget the time because it's been a while,
but there was a time when we were really struggling
in the company.
We were still struggling, but really struggling.
And I mean, you know, those fucking salad days
or whatever they call it.
You're just fucking, I'd have no money
and I'd be like a hundred bucks.
I'll be like, oh, well, it's coming tomorrow
then something would hit and you're spending all the plates
and they all drop.
Running and done.
I was on the phone, yeah, for forever.
And they make you sweat it out.
You're gonna have to hold.
I gotta talk to this guy.
I'm just going, buddy, I don't care if you got,
I don't care who you gotta call.
Call up Mr. Fucking Touchdown Bank.
I'm sitting here.
I need the fucking 70 clams.
Let's go.
Get the president on the phone.
I don't give a shit what you need to do.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Call up the cash.
I stay away from all that stuff religiously.
And thank God, knock on for Micah.
I haven't had any overdraft fees in a while.
Well, aren't you special?
Yeah.
I'm sorry, we don't all have money like you, okay?
No, I just make sure.
Sure, I know.
I'm breaking balls, buddy.
I get you.
You become more responsible.
I also monitor what's in the checking
and what's in the savings and what comes out.
You know what I mean?
Savings?
You got savings money?
How much am I paying you?
It's an account that I've had since I was a kid.
There's like five bucks in it.
Don't let it go to your head either.
All right, let's see, what do we got here?
This is from Claire.
I'm a new subscriber.
First question, do you own a punching bag?
Yay, hey, welcome, Claire.
Welcome, Claire.
Do you own a punching bag
and where is it located in your home?
I just walked past an apartment that has a bag
suspended from their ceiling in their living room.
Not sure if this is a sign I'm in a bad fucking area.
You know, it ain't a good area.
I can tell you that much.
Not doing that on Park Avenue.
I know that.
This is how trashy we were.
I had a heavy, I had a heavy bag as a kid growing up
and it just never got hung up.
If there's, if that's the, if that is the fucking
lifelong tale of the Ryans, it's we have shit
that's not finished or done correctly, for sure.
100%.
That's why you never played varsity sports.
Tell you that right now.
Never even hung the bag, huh?
I can see your dad yelling that,
I got you that fucking bag, you never even hung it.
You're like, whatever, man.
I mean, how am I supposed to hang
heavy bag by myself?
I'm seven.
Cut me some fucking slack.
You had a couple of guys from Home Depot in here
or something like that, wouldn't you, Bob?
I know, I'm like, you own a construction company.
Call up the fucking, the laborers that come over
and hang this fucking thing.
You tell me this, is this more trashy
or is this more of a clean living situation?
We had a punching bag.
That was your mom. That we did hang.
Keep dead, yep, shut you.
Bing, pow.
She actually lit me up a couple of times when I was a kid.
She was a scrapper.
I'll tell you that.
It was always worse than your mom.
It was a Irish coal mining yak from upstate Pennsylvania.
Fucking slapped a taste out of your mouth.
You love that Baldwin line.
He's going to come for money pretty soon.
You say that one more time.
You've been pushing it to a couple
of times, don't fucking get it twisted.
It's a great term.
Yeah, she was a scrapper back in the day.
And it was always something a little more demoralizing
when your mom would smack you around a little bit
than your dad.
Your dad, you feel like you were in an SE Hinton book
or something like that.
Like you were one of the outsiders.
When your mom did it, it was real, real emasculating.
Tough.
Yeah.
But we can do.
She was the king.
But did you have a heavy bag?
We did have a heavy bag.
We did.
What I was going to ask you is, we took an old sea bag,
an old Navy duffel bag.
Like the green one or whatever, the blue one or something.
And we filled that with sand or pillowcases
or whatever it was.
And then we bolted that and then hung that up.
That's what we worked that on.
That's trashy.
Probably using it like four times.
But when people came over, they were like, damn,
these guys are tough.
You got to hang it out front to flex on everybody.
Why is this in the kitchen?
There you go.
Yeah.
Keep asking questions.
Tough guy flexes on them.
You don't want to know.
Good times here.
I love it.
Shout out.
Good round of questions so far.
Great round.
Shout out to this is from Andrew.
Do you or have you ever kept snacks under your bed?
God damn, what is this fucking?
No, that's sad.
I know.
I think college, when you were like,
you had to keep your own stuff.
College, I had fucking, I was sleeping
on the fucking crate of a cup of noodles.
I mean, that's different.
College is different.
You can't be doing that.
Why would you have snacks under your bed now?
I couldn't even get away with that.
Maybe if you're in a tight roommate situation
where you don't know them that well.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I know.
But still, I don't know.
This is from Chad Bell, home run of a question.
Have you ever ride on a parade float?
And yes, I have.
Really?
Yeah, we were big.
I think we've talked about this on something.
At some point, we were big Thanksgiving Day parade people.
Wait, you weren't in the Philly one, were you?
Yeah, all the time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
I didn't know I was working with a celebrity over there.
It's like a Jim Gardner.
I actually, that's exactly what my dad looks like, by the way.
It looks exactly like Jim Gardner.
My aunt worked for the city, so she got the kids on
and then became a tradition.
We'd do it every year.
I was too young for a while, like while my brother
and sister were going, but then I got to go.
And yeah, I mean, I literally thought I was a celebrity.
I was like fucking waving to people,
running up, slapping hands, you're on the float,
you're off the float type thing.
Yeah, I mean, there's a little kid, fucking,
who's starving for attention, whose parents won't look at him.
Yeah, I'm on the news, ma.
What float were you bozos on?
It changed every year.
The one year they were on with Kelly Rippa and...
Some, no, no, no, why, what float were you on?
Like the ABC float, they're different floats.
My dad just, we just drove behind in the Jeep.
He was smoking Marv Reds out the window.
I was waving through the sunroof.
Can't we get out and grab some candy?
Yeah, well, what float were you on?
No, they just, they need extras for the floats.
Like, I think for a few years we did like the,
we were like, man, how sad is that?
You're an extra on a fucking Thanksgiving Day parade float.
Man, jump over that with your therapist for a little while.
I thought you were a, thought you were a fucking,
you thought you were a fucking Disney kid back in the day.
Now you realize you were just some bum waiting in line.
It was like David Duke, Charles Dickens themes.
So they needed like, you know,
the one year I remember we all had like top hats
with the big coats on.
You know, we looked like, you know,
we were from Pox Tony, Pennsylvania or whatever.
We looked like fucking assholes.
Now that I think about it.
You couldn't afford the costume,
you just got regular shit on.
I'm wearing my starter jacket, so I'm gonna sing.
Starter jacket and a pair of freaky freezers.
I got my LA lights on.
Yeah, it was, it was, we were big parade people, man.
Big parade people.
Not proud of it, but that was, you know, I'm owning it.
Yeah, trashy Jesus Christ.
Man, that really takes me back.
Yeah, that's real garbage, man.
That's real fucking trash.
Oh dude, holy shit.
This is from Javon Marshall.
I'm brand new to the Patreon,
so excuse me if this has been asked.
Have you ever had to open your door in a drive-thru
because the window didn't roll down?
Holy hell.
That's trash.
That is a fucking home run of a fucking question.
God damn.
I feel like my window is starting to go now.
Like it squeaks every time it goes up and down.
Jesus Christ, hold on, sorry, I gotta go back.
Yeah, I've never had that.
I remember one time we were going up to the mountains,
we were going skiing and my dad's window stopped
and we had to tape like a trash bag up the whole time.
He was driving like 12 kids and like three parents
because I was in the back of the Jeep.
This is the 90s, dude.
I was in the back, like the far back of the Jeep.
No seat, just fucking like three, seven-year-olds
in the back of a fucking SUV.
Imagine if something happened to you
to be getting tossed around like a fucking bag up on board.
Oh, dude, none of it.
Dude, meanwhile he's got a trash bag.
He's got no visibility out the driver's side window
and he's still trying to smoke burnies.
I remember, I remember the one dad was like,
Dan, can you not smoke?
And he was just like, fucking.
Yeah, we're almost there.
You're just fucking going, dude.
It's too funny.
Yeah.
Let's say do a couple more here and then we got to wrap it up.
Yeah, let's do it.
Hit me.
Man.
All right, this is from Ryan.
Have you ever gone streaking or skinny dipping?
I tried to go skinny dipping with a girl in high school
once down the shore.
She was always going.
She was way hotter than me.
All right, and we just happened to be somewhere down
the shore together with another guy and another girl.
And I remember we were the only two that would do it.
And she ran like really, she made it clear
that she didn't want to be naked in the water with me.
She like ran to the bay.
We were like on the beach.
You know what I mean?
Like she went like far out and like dove in.
It was at night too.
I only wait for us.
Wait, you're doing nighttime.
That's like scary movie shit.
Dude, I was trying to, what do you mean I was a fucking
little horny high school kid trying to make a move here.
I fucking would have done anything.
I would have stormed the beaches of Normandy.
What are you talking about?
Fucking dove in Ocean City, New Jersey, diving in the water
at like 10 o'clock at night.
Yikes.
For right with my little Willy sticking out.
That's nuts.
The bait and tackle fucking right there.
Somebody latch on to that.
It's a little earthworm floating.
Got a little mule worm.
Yeah.
Dude, that's nuts.
I've done it.
I never did.
I don't think I was ever really in the opportunity
to like skinny.
I don't know.
That just seemed like, that was like one of the things
that kids did in movies.
Like there was no stories of that either.
Like did you hear they went skinny dipping late?
Like that never fucking, I don't know.
That wasn't happening in my school.
I don't know what we're going on.
You were running an underground casino at the time.
Yeah, we were.
Yeah, I was responsible businessman here.
I was an entrepreneur at a young age.
Once I saw Boiler Room, I was like,
boys were open for business.
That's literally what it was.
It was Boiler Room and we opened up a casino.
Oh, shout out to the Four Horsemen Casino.
All right, last one.
This is a fucking crap.
I'm so glad I fucking found this one
because I wanted to use it last time.
This is from Joseph.
Joseph.
Joseph Vincent.
Good knock around name.
Joseph Vincent.
Joseph Vincent?
Yeah.
That's a fucking great name.
Right, isn't that great?
That's a fucking, that's like a wise guy name.
Yo, don't make me go talk to Joseph Vincent.
Do you tip the mailman?
What?
I'm supposed to be not wonder why this guy's
a fucking prick to us.
You're supposed to tip the mailman.
I don't know.
Maybe.
He's gotta be a mailman.
What?
Oh yeah, when I was a kid, I think our man,
we had like a, we had one here,
fucking eight different guys show up every day.
You know what I mean?
They're changing routes to this.
They're all Uber Eats guys for you.
But we had a steady guy all growing up.
I think my parents broke him off something at Christmas
or he got some.
Scratchers or something.
Hey, at least got some scratchers
or some McDonald's gift cards,
which I speak of often.
Yeah, I don't think, we had Norm.
Norm for the longest time was ours.
And I'm sure he got his beak wet.
We were big with the cash back in the day,
real big with the cash.
So I'm sure he got his Norm.
I mean, Norm was of, I remember his last day,
everybody met in the cul-de-sac and said, buy the Norm.
Really?
Yeah.
I mean, dude, he was, you know,
he fucking held the block down for like a fucking,
for like a dub ski, you know what I mean?
Fucking we had to give him his farewell.
He did 35 and out, dude, you know?
Damn.
Yeah.
That's it.
That's a wrap guys.
Fucking fantastic round of questions.
We appreciate it.
Hopefully we are back in a fucking stista studio.
We're back in Tootsies next week.
We got a lot of, there was a lot of fucking shit flying
on us this week.
We made it fucking works.
You know, we appreciate it.
Thanks for listening.
As always, please make sure you rate,
review, subscribe on iTunes, full video available on YouTube
at patreon.com is fucking cooking guys.
Get in, listen to the next Bitcoin baby.
Get in fucking low.
Get in there.
Helping you're an OG, you know?
I mean, I just want to reiterate what Kevin said.
I just want to say thank you for everyone for bearing
with us this week, rocking on a Zoom.
Like you said, we'll be back in Tootsies next week.
Hopefully all things go well.
Should have some great things coming up.
We love it.
A lot of good guests in store.
It'll be a fucking hot, hot comeback baby.
We appreciate your love.
We appreciate your questions.
We appreciate your support.
And we'll see you next time.
Peace.
Peace.
But wait a minute Kippy.
Before we let the folks get out of here.
What's that buddy?
Let's real quick talk one more time
about our good friends over there on the old Stereo app.
Doesn't matter whether you got an iPhone or an Android,
you can sign up for Stereo app for free.
Yeah, love that Stereo app baby.
It's like a, you know, it's like a little bonus AYG you get.
You sign up, use one of our links.
The link will be in the description of this.
It's Stereo.com slash Kevin Reiner, Stereo.com slash H Foley.
We get to wet our beaks a little bit.
You can ask us questions live on the air.
You know, you record it, it sends.
We play it live, we answer it live.
It's a lot of fun.
It's a good way for you guys to interact with us.
Check it out.
Get involved baby.
Check it out and get involved gang.
We love you.
We'll see you next time.
Peace.