Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Stealing Change w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: April 4, 2024

Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Through the Roof Tour Tickets: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Butcher Box: https://www.ButcherBox.com/AYG Promo Code: AYG Tushy: https://hellotushy.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Attention Georgia, Florida, the boys are coming south baby. Hooty Hoo! Grab the squad and come out and see us. Stand up comedy then we play a little AYG with the crowd. It's a good good time. We'll see you there. The Big Man Ain't Lying April 19th. We're going to be at the Tampa Theater in Tampa, Florida.

Then we're taking it up to Atlanta, Georgia on April 20th at the Center Stage Theater. Get your tickets at rugarbage.com. We love you. Hooty Hoo! Welcome to another exciting edition at RUgarbage.com. We love you. Woo-doo! Welcome to another exciting edition of RUgarbage. The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.

Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is are you garbage? Yeah, so a little show we sit there with your favorite comedians and we find that it's a good to be classy Yeah, they're just a big old piece of trash trash trash trash. I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day We're back here at Tooties and the new edition the boys are home from the old country here at Tootie's in the new edition. The boys are home from the old country. Unfortunately, Tootie is not. What? Last seen taking a train into the Paris train station.

Okay. That was it. It was very grainy footage. We think it's her. We're not really sure. Have not seen her. Did not make the flight very concerned. He did have her meal though, so he weren't that concerned.

Is she gonna have that spare rib? Short ribs are short ribs. Shout out to Delta. So you weren't that concerned. Is she going to have that spare rib? Short ribs are short ribs. Shout out to Delta. How you doing? My co-host is coming at you from across the table. He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He is an international business man. Probably has some international dollars still on him. Do you straighten yourself out at the airport? No, I gave it all to the taxi driver. Did you? I'm sitting on 50 quid. How you doing? It's not quid, you idiot.

Yeah, it is. How you you doing give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan everybody what up gang? Thanks for tuning in as always please make sure you rate you subscribe on iTunes full video available on YouTube as you know those Numbers are true to route cooking cooking then obviously the greatest website of all time Ww.patreon.com slash are you garbage you go over there you get all your bonus episodes you get your hard feelings you get I don't know, probably about 20 bonus fucking videos we've done. We got Cribs videos, we got Disney,

we got your first limo ride, we got the fucking Indy 500, we got the Down the Shore for the week, we got everything. So go over there, check that out. And you also gotta go over to rugarbage.com and pick your tickets for the Through the Roof Tour. Hello. Uh-oh, starting next week, baby. Yeah, excited.

I believe Charlotte sold out. There was like two tickets left this morning. So that's got to be gone. Nashville sold out. All you got is Tampa at the Tampa Theater on April 19th and April 20th at Atlanta, Georgia at the Center Stage Theater. Get them tickets. Grab them ticks, gang. How about a nice quick shout out to our producer?

Extraordinaire. Extraordinaire. The magic man makes us all look good That's the ones of twos the threes and the fours he crosses the T's and that's the eyes I gotta say the hair is looking real nice today toy I don't know what it is. It's the pan team the conditioner what it is, but it's T bone McCruffins Toby McMullen everybody what up boys? It's the conditioner is love the emerald isle. Thanks so much for everyone who got us there We had a course time there isn't a drop of

Conditioner on that island. Oh the only shampoo. I saw was head and shoulders No, it's just Guinness um I'll tell you what they do got over there course hair sure attitude problem Do got over there course hair sure attitude problems Give you a lot of gulf What they do got over there uncle Hank was sicky all right when he was over there now I get a bad cough in the spring did you know Hank was sick over there? Yeah, he got me sick over there, and I've been typing down enough for the piss for fucking and I've been making moves I'm a guy taking been making moves Is chemical warfare you get me sick and then fucking make moves while I'm down and out

Like which I respect as an international business like Putin and Kim Jong-un would never see with me They thought they cheers the champagne and either one of them want to get that's an alt why even dude I wouldn't eat or drink anything in either one of them countries. Oh good to see how you do I'd be fistbite would even shake hands. I'd be Got a little something. I don't want to see how you do. I'd be fistbite. I wouldn't even shake hands. I'd be fistbite. I got a little something I don't want to get you. You know what I mean? I usually so the way the way my process works when I get sick, when I get this type of like

you know sick is I get I get like you know a little bit of hot flash and then I get like this congestion and stuff like that and it usually tapers off with a cough. Alright sometimes it's dry. Sometimes it's not But it lasts for like a few weeks But man, I went over there to that pharmacy on the south end of Dublin and fucking Seamus That was a shoe repair store Seamus McShay miss set me up with the biggest pills for the biggest man. Oh You're a big fucker. Oh

I got just what you need. Just derping time or something take two pints. It is you'll be all right Chromium something that don't sound right chrome. I don't know what it was called man Dude in literally two days He's like this will stop your brain from coughing and that that's exactly what it did. And I've had it a little bit, but nothing like I usually get it. Usually every spring, I have it for like a couple of weeks. Since I was a kid, you've had a cough since I've met you. What are we talking about here? Yeah, that's what you're sure. Sure. Sure.

Sure. Sure. Unbelievable to be like this thing makes you not cough. Your brain coughs right away. That's a little clearing of clearing of the throat not as you know what I'm talking about I have a system when I get sick I like to get everybody else next time you're in Europe do yourself a favor try to cough and if you're developing any sort of Chemical weapons and need a great test subject give it a fully good to everybody Fuck you fully a heater in a small cafe spread it around like spread around like Bezos wife Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You know what I want to I'm sorry. I don't have your chromium Chromium Magnate medicine stay away from I wish I would have brought a bottle back I don't know what that would be like getting over the border not good, so I stuck it in to these bags Fucking jammed up somewhere um what quick question for you listening

On the you know it's the sickie season do you prefer I prefer you just saying sick do you and I'm saying sickie Do you enjoy a sneeze prefer you just saying sick. Do you stop saying sicky? Do you enjoy a sneeze? Do you like a sneeze? Do you like the way that feels? Yeah, of course. I think they say it's like eight or 42 or something gets to get you near orgasm. Really?

Yeah, it's eight or 42. There's a number, a scientific number that a sneeze is a fraction of an orgasm. Of a nut? Jesus Christ, this is a fraction of an orgasm. Of a nut? Jesus Christ, this is a fucking goddamn family show. I have a runner up on it, is what made me think of it. The eye rub. OK.

Do you like a nice eye rub? Because I had one. But there's a Jesus Christ. Listen to this turn of phrase. Here we go. Some evidence suggests that sneezing, like orgasms, also releases endorphins thus it seems Comparisons were inevitable nevertheless, and this is highlighted no scientific basis exists for equating an involuntary nasal

Expulsion to the sweet shutter of sexual climax Where'd you read that? Live science dot-com That's crazy dude. LiveScience.com Pornhub.me Wait, what? The sweet what? The sweet shutter of sexual climax This episode's flagged

The sweet shutter That's alright. Put Fabio on the front page of that blog Yeah, no kidding. Saw that at the grocery store Hello. I had a nice eye rub Yeah, but that's the same problem It's the law of diminishing return It's like you reach a point and it's too much. Oh, then your contact falls out. But not even that He just gets raw you got to get in and out same thing with the rear end with the rear end

I'm trying to clean it up brain Toby's bringing the filth into this when you got a little when you got a rear end When you got a little, when you got a rear end, uh, itch, there's a, there's a, so I, so I read it, livescience.org. Sister, you're preaching in a choir. Alright. I think I just gotta fucking clean this up a little bit. This is fucking, this is outrageous. Stop cursing! I didn't say fucking that.

You're like touching your butthole. Just a little nail. I know what you're talking about. Um. I'm surprised you go for that. I don't go flits out on the menu. I don't order it when I'm at dinner. You're an uptight guy. I think if you had to scratch your butthole, you'd put a condom on your finger or something like that. You do it with an oven mitt. I'm a man at the end of the day. I'm a man.

Kippy here, he's a man. This is my favorite line of bullying I've ever seen. Oh I scratched my butt dude! You think I don't scratch my butt? Yeah, you don't know nothing about me. You get over here, I'll scratch your butt. I'm already sick. Maybe that's the cure.

I got one for you. This is more of a garbage question. Talk to me. That I never really thought, but I feel it is pretty telling and I don't know the right answer. Do you say Wikipedia or Wikipedia? Wikipedia. Because one doesn't sound right. It's Wikipedia, right?

It's Wikipedia. Wikipedia is no good. For the longest time. We're getting some suspect info. But it is WikiFeet, isn't it? What's wiki feet? I don't know Check your weird box over there. What's wiki feet? That's Wikipedia for feet. No Yeah, are you not on the internet wait that I don't understand for like people who like feet Yeah, so like if an actor or an actress or like an influencer,

that's why they always blur their feet because there's there's there's really I don't know where's their feet. Actors or actresses like or if like an influencer posts, like if they're on a beach somewhere. Yeah. A lot of times they'll blur their feet because people will then upload it to a website. I don't know. OK, I sound like a creep but I genuinely don't know I assume you know a lot more than the average Joe I don't think I do I think and then people

submit it when they find it right to wiki I think it's called wiki feet it is called wiki feet thank you send that to me for my it'll be a lot less weird if you weren't scratching your butthole I'm rubbing it on the carpet Always look so sad as far I know why dogs do that probably feels great sure that new where the carpet the better He's doing there goes a security deposit fucking downstairs neighbors get That's got to feel

Enough with your but not with your potty humor get about sneezing. Let's get back to these toes listen This is a tootsie what see I can't be a freak for knowing about this is a crying damn shame and thankfully we have A little chunk of the internet all to ourselves where we can make change positive change in the world What's that Danny DeVito not featured on wiki feet at all people out there fix that should he be? I think so went onto a database of feet and typed in Danny DeVito That seems nuts. It's the funniest one I could think of hey kid kid likes what he likes sure Yeah, I want to see Margot Robbie's feet. I'm trying to see what Danny's got yeah I'm not a foot guy, but back to my thing, it is Wikipedia.

I mean, there's a lot of evidence to the contrary on that, but go ahead. That's a famous thing. I've never heard of that. That's wild to me. I know I didn't. I mean, paint me how you want to paint me. I say Wikipedia, and I didn't go on Wikipedia for the longest time because I thought that had something to do with WikiLeaks.

Well, that's Wiki, but it's also WikiLeaks, isn't it? It is. So then it should be Wikipedia. But you sound like your own medicine when you say that. It's got to be. It's Wikipedia, but it's WikiLeaks. It's WikiFeet. I don't know what WikiLeaks was. It sounds it sounds like a new hot fucking new hot mixtape dropping soon. It's aiki wiki Wikipedia

Wikipedia yes, wicca wicca Wikipedia But then why is it like encyclopedia? I? Don't know where the wiki comes from it's wicked what I? Don't know we're in the weeds on this though a w Wiki is a website that allows collaborative editing. So it's Wiki. Wow, okay. No shit. So many terms, I don't know. It's Wiki, but for some reason, it's the E.

It's the E in the pedia. Moe, but then the E in the leak doesn't change it. They had an angle to get the encyclopedia in there. Wikipedia. No, but that's the pedia. Encyclopedia. Pedia is the, well, we shouldn't be doing. We don't know what we're talking about, but it is Wiki. Because there's like, right? So we're wrong.

God, you can just feel the dumbness sucking all the fun out of the room. I know. I don't know. You're a feet dude. That's what I've learned from all this. Toby, blur my feet. Wiki feet, huh? That's not insane that I know that. I've never even been, I'm well documented, not a foot guy. I don't know. I'm telling you. I've seen you looking at my piggies every once in a while.

By the way, they need a trim. All right, I spent too much time with you. I'm going in to see the girls. Get the soles all out. I gotta get that done. I gotta get my eyebrows done, man. I was at Easter talking to somebody like what's on your your eyebrows? It was it was a talk about a co-op fixing his fence when the roofs collapses. Yeah, right. I'm working on the roof I just got an estimate

Fucking shit. He's gonna come and shut you down They're gonna pull your goddamn permits Gonna condemn you. I gotta get my brows done the feet done. I'm gonna condemn ya. I gotta get my brows done, the feet done, I gotta get a little collar. Sure. Sure. Um, but all that's neither here nor there. Of course.

We got a gosh darn family episode. And weigh in on the WikiLeak, on the Wiki, Wiki. It's Wiki. Kip, he's a freak. Get in the DMs. Like, freaky links, huh? I can't believe you never heard of that. You're gonna paint me like a creepo.

I'll take it. Alright, to be fair, I had heard of it, but I wanted paint me like a creepo. I'll take all right to be fair I had heard of it Scumbag move. Thank you. I Respect it. Hey, my knives are out today boys. So what was wiki links leaks leaks I was a guy man again. That was a guy was that Snowden? Yeah, so we made a website where he published every No, that wasn't Snowden was Julia Assange I believe wiki leaks is a media organization and publisher of leaked documents

It is a nonprofit and is funded by donations and media partners. It is published classified documents and other media Provided by anonymous sources. All right, I found it by Julian Assange and John Young. Gotcha. Stick to your feet pics, dude. That's above our pay grade. I'm more of a Facebook kind of guy. Zucky, hit me up. I don't wanna be getting flaked.

Let me see them feet, Zuck. All right, but it's a gosh darn family episode, gang. As you know, when you join the Patreon, we will answer your questions on the air. Your garbage question is the best way to do it. You get a lot of submissions, but the Patreon gets the first crack at it. This one isn't a question, it's just funny.

This says I named my Roomba Kippy so that when I turn it on I say Kippy on the loose. And then when it gets stuck somewhere, I get a notification saying Kippy needs your attention or Kippy is stuck. That's a good time. Are you a Roomba man? Nah.

Ever been? No, that's like rich guy shit to me. Yeah. Or kippy is stuck. That's a good time. Are you a Roomba man? Nah ever been No, that's like that's like rich guy shit to me. Yeah, how expensive can you can you get a price on a Roomba? To me there are fifteen hundred dollars. I don't know like it would work I mean those infomercials are not on my crumbs do those commercials when they would go from the hardwood to the carpet Yeah, blue my I can still picture it like that. I'm not a cat out, too Oh, yeah, I don't think pets like It's like that freaked the cat out too. Oh yeah, I don't think pets like it at all. My, I, and then like, I remember there was, there was not knockoffs, but like different brands

that were doing it and they were like falling down the stairs and stuff, but you gotta assume with AI and lasers that it's, I mean, that's, that's the extent of my technology. AI and lasers, they got AI and lasers now. You talk about technology like a sci-fi movie from 1981. Dude, you know what I... It's all guessing.

The phone will be in the computer. You believe that shit? I, for the life of me, can't wrap my head around Bluetooth. I don't know how that works. It's a radio signal. That doesn't do it for me. What do you mean? You're just looking at going, but I mean teeth are white. I just I got nothing man. I got nothing I just found the So, you know blue lights good blue lights bad for your red lights good for you whatever, okay, all right

There lasers involved. Otherwise, I'm out Is there lasers involved? Otherwise, I'm out. They say- This sounds like it's above- yeah, a red light treatment. The blue light that's on your computer screen or phone. Or your tablet, yeah. And I go to bed with it like right next to my head. Mhm. I watch my Seinfeld.

But, uh, I'd- Sure. They say that's no good for you. Yeah, this is old news. So I found a thing in the settings where you can turn it to red. But it's real. You feel like you're on a submarine. That's yeah Oh, I do. I love your sweat. I turn your key yelling at your girl turn your key. I hear music sir um But the other night I did it and I fell asleep

And I forgot that I did it and I woke up and I thought I was in hell That's good dude that screen is so red. Like you can't watch TV. You can't. I think that's probably the point. You're not supposed to be, I'm not saying I'm any better. Your version of hell is just waking up back in your life. Whoop.

Fuck. And Renz do? Fuck. It's the fifth and you're tight on funds. And my phone's red. Kevin's talking about Butcher Box. Got out to the box from the butcher Big favorite here at are you garbage gang do yourself a favor stop getting your meat from a box store

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Where'd you get that? And go boom, butcher box. Or do what I do and lie. I say I got a cow out back. I went and had a butch. About a quarter cow. Today Butcher Box is giving our listeners a special offer So fucking strap in use our link ButcherBox.com slash AYG and use the code and use code AYG to get 20 bucks off your first

Order baby. Alright. 20 bucks cash right back in your pocket. There you go. ButcherBox.com slash AYG use the code AYG 20 bucks off your first order That's ButcherBox.com slash AY g code a y g do it do it kip Let's talk about tushy shout out the tushy. We got a couple of tushies Uh-huh keeping the boys real fresh back there. You know what I'm supposed to put it on your sink though It's filling up my water bottle with it It's regreages Gang I'm a big bidet fan of Tushy. It's fantastic for your home. Do yourself a favor.

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Do it now back to the show. Back to the show. That was honestly some of some of my favorite times coming up in New York was the first the first to the fifth. Let's see what plates, how you could get liquid when you weren't liquid to pay that rent all the time. Me specifically or all of us?

No, me specifically. Oh, yeah, sure. I remember it was a rough time. Dude, it was at the height of the big. A lot of legal precedent was set. What do you mean? I have until the fifth. Oh.

Social security checks. I didn't start thinking until the third. I mean, if I knew I was gonna, luckily that fifth gives you what for that paycheck to hit When I did have a straight day job that paycheck would hit but I remember man really fucking I Remember I found like 300 bucks that I bought I put in Bitcoin or something like that I had no I probably had 350 bucks And I thought I was gonna give was a get rich quicks all my buddies were making cash on Bitcoin

So I put like 250 in or something like that And like three weeks I'd forgotten about it. I get it down 400 Oh, man, and I've rent was due and I was a couple hundred short How long did it take to transfer that out? I paid every fee you could pay to get it to get it into my PayPal account and bring it to the landlord I think if it was 250, I probably got about 180 out of it. But here's your 75 bucks, loser. It's my money and I need it now.

The next day it shoots up. I was already sending calls and texts, like hey, could you float me? And that was all getting batted back. Learning that social security thing, I can't remember, I feel like it was a mailman that told me or something like that get the checks Yeah, you know you got until the fifth. I'm like, what are you talking about?

They're like nah, you got till the fifth cuz the social security checks Mm-hmm. I don't know what that is. I think they go out on the first probably probably run on the first couple of days Yeah, I was working a restaurant job all jammed up and I got caught stealing change for the bus for my roommate Brutal Jesus. I know what he's doing from your roommate. Yeah like the 225 for the bus I had nothing where was it? Where was it? Chicago no now where was the change on his desk? He had a big change on his desk Okay, horrible fell horrible. Was he sleeping in there? He had a big change on his desk

Okay, horrible fell horrible. Was he sleeping in there? No he had his hand just comes in and grabs Toby's hand he had the webcam on Security camp cuz you know you were short in the till. Well, he was an heroin addict, so he was trying to keep an eye on them. He understood? No, he didn't. He was very upset. Yeah, heroin addicts are cool about losing cash. All right.

$2.25? Yeah. Couldn't have been like, hey man, sorry, I need to change. Change is whatever. No, no, no, no. Now, there's something scuzzier about change. Oh, I was taking the smallest thing it was a whore I feel awful about it still nice one kid used to rob did you guys have that kid growing

up this kid this kid I don't want to say this kid used to rob everybody to every view and you'd show up somewhere and everybody go what the fuck is he doing here man get him away from us and And then they're like, nah, nah, nah, he's cool. And then dude, by like fucking 1130 at night, someone's like, my watch is gone. This kid stole everything and he stole Pat's change jar and dumped it in his pocket. It was in like a flyer's cup or something.

That's what you get for inviting sticky fingers. That's what I'm saying, dude. Everywhere we went, I'm like, this fucking guy's here again, dude He was in my car one time and stole a burnt CD, and I was like this kid's done. He's out I Would you gotta be dead? I would griff the occasional action figure when I was a young man off a friend sure They had a big pile here as somebody I really connected with nobody big no bubba fats or something like that

Usually usually on from your friends. See it seats. He tear GI Joe's. Yeah Stealing the chef instead of cook the guy peel the potatoes mechanic stealing guest stars on a he man Pigeon man He's a collectible. Yeah, there was one one kid we used to run through his change jar pretty heavy. He had like, we needed, we would buy with him. Dude, change feels like a victimless crime. It's not. So you got real, you got blood on your hands.

We had one kid that was- You have to smell a pennies that you can't get off. We had one kid that was, he was loaded. His parents always gave him cash. Same thing, that was he was he was loaded his parents always gave him cash same thing that was a kid and I don't know why but he had like an ounce of weed in his glove compartment Jesus Christ your sticky thing you broke into his car Jesus talking about stealing 250 to get to work One time at a party a bunch of people were doing blow and I was like notorious for like, be like, I don't do that shit.

I'm the chip. But I was all drunk and I was like, OK. I just went into the room and then it was in a pile, not even cut out the lines. And I just want the whole fucking pile and just sat on the couch tweak. And while everyone was like, who did this, someone was like, he wouldn't he hates this stuff. And I was like, I sure do. That's a pretty good move. Did you that we did think that's funny, huh?

No, it was horrible. We're admitting things. We're admitting bad things about ourselves right now There's a line Toby, and that's it right there, and you take the lines That ain't weed dog people need that you poke into a car the guy wasn't doing blow He was asleep. And you pull a move like that. Wooo! Wee! The big thing in college. Firing squad. The big thing in college was, that was nuts too.

In college you would just let a bunch of people into your house or you'd be in people's houses. Sure. You know like house parties. Especially in Philly. We went to Temple or Drexel. So it was like, you're just, ah this is Steve's friends friends brothers place or whatever Man and think cuz we were also so fucking broke in college was getting your hand We would steal some kitchen utensils sometimes somebody had like a good spatula Because you'd be in their kitchen like looking for a bottle opener or like paper thousand fuck

I remember the one thing this kid he had the had the metal, the magnet with everything and like, in college. Oh really? Whoa. Man, we walked. I thought only chefs could have those. Man, I walked out of there like I was the bear, dude. I was fucking, we had, me and Pat had every- A little folding thing? Spatulas, fucking, yeah. Nice, nice, not, I think we were living in a dorm room

at the time, but hey fucking good merch is gonna lose Did you ever pull this move you're at a you're at a party trying to impress a girl This was like 1920 maybe 21 early on 1920 Probably just prohibition it just happened. You look good. I'm a vampire This is probably just prohibition. It just happened. You look good. I'm a vampire kippy the You're at a whack party, and you're like fuck this Let's get out of here, and then you just jack all the beer never pulled that little move now now

Gentlemen's code yeah, no I never did that I've never if there's beer at a party. That's all I am I'm not being like let's get out of here I'm like let's finish this up, and then we'll get out of here. I did try to steal a keg one time. Keg's hard. I know. We tried throwing it over a fence in a backyard. Fence was gonna be all fizzy.

Wasn't a, you think that was my concern at the time? Foam? Trying to keep the party rolling. All right, let's see here. This one's from Foley's other chin. Rude. $10 homey, never had one ran. When's the last time you ran full speed? I don't know. We were just talking about this not that long ago.

Did we? Yeah, because they say people over 40 shouldn't run full speed. No, don't. Like once you get over 40, the chances of you ever doing a full sprint. I still got three years left is like Less than 1% I don't know what the numbers are but most people over 40 never sprint again sure like do a full sprint I can't say I would have to be getting chased Yeah, I I well I jogged to catch up with you guys in Ireland because I was getting a shot of something and

I ran about a half a block and didn in Ireland because I was getting a shot of something and I Ran about a half a block and didn't get winded was real proud of myself. That's pretty good. I Couldn't do it. Uh, I can't sprint. I can't recall like a full dead out You got to be going after something or something's after you. Mm-hmm I don't think I can get to if I was like jogging I don't think I can get to like we can put a hot dog on a stick for you You just I played my family football game a couple years ago. I was moving I was I wouldn't say I was sprinting, but I was jogging or I was I was going out for I was I would say I was sprinting to my ability. That's not sprinting. That's not sprint. I mean I was I was wide receiver

You were a wide receiver what nothing on that? Change thief? When was the last time you saw a race where the guy was going And they're off and this guy's jogging But it's the best of his ability He's really cooking now In his world he's sprinting Why do you do this to me?

I either gotta go, oh I'm sure you are A couple years ago you were even bigger So like, what are you doing to me? I was moving. Maybe it wouldn't be a full sprint. You walked for half a day in Dublin and were screaming about your feet. They called Hike, I ran to the end zone, caught the ball and then fell over my head. Right now with a cheerleader. You were being guarded by a defensive back who was 4'3". What are we talking about? You're playing against kids. He's still, hey, competition's competition.

I don't know what to tell you. Get out of that gridiron, everybody's a man. But I was moving pretty well. I would say that would be my equivalent of sprinting. That was probably two years ago. No, okay. And it was maybe 10 yards. I have about 10 yards in me.

I don't think you were sprinting. And I wouldn't do it now. I mean like, no, like I don't know, but isn't a sprint like as fast as you can, you're not, you weren't full bore. Yeah, yeah, no, I'll agree with that. You were. I was moving. Faster than you normally move.

Yes, I mean normally move. It was more than a job. I was in a car. I was running. I was running. Okay. Yeah, but a full sprint. I sprinted when I ran from the cab. That was probably like six years ago.

Right. Five or six years ago. Yeah, I can't recall. And I literally thought I died. I think Hans got out or got away on the beach one time. Oh, I might have one of those, too. I went full bore after him. I mean, I had a couple of two-tree in me. That was about it.

Hey, when you catch a dog that runs the fucking rage Just let them go the the last time I remember last time I ran full out it was when we were recording old kipper Reno's special and I got off stage sure and then I ran I sprinted as fast as I could to the back of the room to get to the cameras hmm That's the last time I really ran. Got winded on that one. You can hear Toby breathing in the first 30 seconds.

Uh, all right, let's see here. This one's, uh, from Scott B is this trash or clean living? My parents' wedding was in July and featured a full Thanksgiving buffet. That's too hot for Turkey, man. Also who will there? You can't dance after Thanksgiving buffet. That's too hot for turkey, man. Also who will there you can't dance after a Thanksgiving dinner. I don't hate it. I wonder why they made that decision. Probably cheap.

You got to think that's probably turkey. Turkey is not an expensive turkey at a wedding. That's never it's fish or chicken or fish or beef or chicken. Yeah. Turkey at a wedding. Beef and crab cakes I think is usually the highest echelon you can get when was the wedding July. I that's even crazier Probably had a turkey leftover turkey in July

That's a hot Everything's hot in that meal in July the older I get the more I appreciate Thanksgiving dinner I've never I never did not not a a, I love it. It's fantastic. You like the turkey? Yeah, I mean that's like the, this is well documented, but that's the fucking, that's the giver, you know, I can, you know, I'm a sides man through and through.

Weird, when I asked you last week, you said you never had potato salad. I don't think so, no. Not that I can recall. Strange. Yeah, I'm a strange man When you go sprint and get me some but you're wrong for that, Tubby Fuckin potato salad trucks on the way

All right, let's see here this one's from scoot $10 Bozo never had one red is it garbage if your mom's third wedding took place on a cruise ship Not even in Mexico which like he thinks is the classiest version which is hilarious Is it garbage if my mom's third wedding took place on a cruise ship not even in Mexico which like he thinks is the classiest version which is hilarious is It's a garbage if my mom's third wedding took place on a cruise ship not even in Mexico It was the first day of the cruise and we were still docked in New Orleans man Getting married at the dock Maybe as a guy she met on there, maybe hey, let's fucking I didn't know you could do that on a cruise ship

What get married? Yeah, uh Where they do it? There's probably some sort of chapel. I would imagine is there chapels on cruise ships I would first I mean, I think there's a chapel in every uh, that thing's going down. That's where you meet up probably most fucking Casinos, there's some sort of chapel. Huh? My dad got married at the Bellagio. I remember that chapel Are you doing hey? I don't wait for the people in front of us to get done. Like I think it was a goddamn hotel room looking for early check-in. Hit the keynote table. Um, this is I don't know if I haven't mentioned this personally or where I mentioned this or to you guys or to friends from home. We should do a

riverboat gambling trip. Oh, you brought it up. That'd be nice. That'd be be fun right? Yes. Get a bunch of cool suits or something. Fucking really. If they still have that kind of class. It doesn't matter. You bring the class to wherever you are baby. Do they still have riverboat gambling? They do. I think Chicago. Illinois has it. Really? Mississippi, New Orleans, Florida has one. Can we get into a shootout and then have to jump in the river? Let's do it. Gotta make the jump. Like, who am I thinking of? Who's in Mavericks? Oh, I don't know. James...

McGillicuddy. No. Rockford Files. James Garner. Real man's man, that James Garner. You never got into Rockford Files. If you enjoy Colombo, you'd like a Rockford Files. Colombo's one of one. I'm telling you, it's the same era, really good show. They're like little mini movies, little hour-long movie with commercials. Obviously. Uh it's

broadcast television. Uh I this one's from Peter. First time long time. Is it garbage that my mom used to be known for her homemade trail mix at family parties? It's just pretzels, goldfish, and M&Ms. I mean, the M&Ms and goldfish seems crazy. I'll give you pretzels and goldfish or pretzels and M&Ms, but goldfish and M&Ms seems nuts. I never went.

Listen, I like trail mix with the chocolate chips and the M&Ms But those homemade things like that at parties I remember they would push the the checks mix the homemade checks mix no one ever that was it was too salt That was older to me. So I guess it had to be more 80s Yeah, for you cuz like if that came around you were like what oh in the 90s It was smelled like burning hair and it had like a real strange no one ever made it Themselves, but I like a checks. I love checks. I like the actual I'm okay with the actual checks in the checks mix But I don't like all the other stuff

Get those weird like sesame John's which I like sometimes but not in there What are those little black chips or brown chips? They're fantastic Oh, are you what the ones that look like little pieces of rye toast? Yeah get out of here with those You don't like them. No, they stink. It's like celery and stuffing. Yeah, what's that all about? Did I ever tell you the time I got called out? I would make a little mini sandwich. Thank you now We're talking maybe a little lump crab meat on there something. That'd be alright. Thank you. Now we're talking maybe a little lump crab meat on there or something. It'll be alright. Thank you. Are we doing we're not we're talking about the little talk. Yes, we're talking about the thing that's in

Gardettos. The class. The hell's a Gardetto? The classy version of Chex-Mex. Which stinks. Gardetto. That's what I'm talking about. That stuff stinks. How do you spell Gardetto? I'll get through it with a Diet Coke but that's it. G-A-R-D-E-T-T-O-S. Plus when you touch that. Oh, I've never seen that. When you touch that bag. Really? Toby, when you touch that bag, it explodes.

Without question. Goes straight down. Like an IED. No. Brutal. Gardettos, we didn't do Italians. We were an Irish family. I asked you about this long ago. This might have been, this is going way back,

but Irish pizza. So they used to have, I don't I don't this might have been this. This is this is going way back. But Irish pizza. So they used to have that. I don't know if they still do it, but picture like a bigger version of that little piece of toast. It's it looks like a little mini loaf of bread and you'd put like some type of cheese and something on it and it would that we call we called it Irish pizza. Now, those little ride little ride bangers. But that was soft. Those little rye bangers. But that was soft. No.

Those hard ones. That's soft. I love them. I usually eat croutons. Which I do. Yeah. What are we talking about here? Great after school snack.

Well, Doc, getting called out. Somebody sent me a picture of that. Yeah, they tagged us. They were drinking wine and eating croutons. Which is, I mean, come on. Yeah, why not? Claysey, throw a little fucking Hormel's pre-sliced pepperoni is, I mean, come on. Yeah, why not? Crazy, throw a little fuckin' Hormel's pre-sliced pepperoni in there.

Oh, love it. You see Papa John's is going after the high level pepperoni. They're calling it the cup-a-roni. Cup-a-roni, yeah. But theirs looks a little wonky. Yeah, I mean, that's high end pepperoni. You see like a nice sliced place where it cups up.

Yeah. And it's, cause it's like, for somebody to explain it to me, but it's like real, nice sliced place where it cups up Yeah, and it's cuz it's like I for somebody explained it to me, but it's like real It's thicker and it cups up when you cook it and they're trying it. I think Papa John's is like manufacturing Yeah, it's like good, but that's expensive so you get it's like more boutique Papa John's has to order it by the fucking by the factory load, but I like that marketing guy Or whoever says that's what we got that's smart to go after that Sure i like that is big now good pizzas big i know it's bigger than it's ever been good pizza I like i like good pizza cop can get the cop that's what they

Get the copper o'neill's copper o'neill it's probably not real pepperoni by law they have to say copper o'neill you know what i mean It's probably half you um This is all sad dare you to getting called out for eating all the pretzels out of fucking a text mix thing at a Christmas party See I would never I would eat everything but the but the but the pretzels I don't like the pretzels in there man that woman in Hawaii They have a hair about hurting my feelings in Hawaii. They have a version of It wasn't me you got two in your mouth like a walrus In Hawaii they have a version of checks mix

It has food a cocky on it which is like like a seaweed, but it's sweet fuck. Just call me Yeah, cocky. I think it's that's a pronounce of what you pronounce a little Italian if you're asking Ghee it's honeycomb checks bugles pretzels I think maybe something else when eight guys get down on a pizza together pizza cocky cuparoni anyway the pretzels jam it up no pretzels stop with the pretzels nothing anybody's pushing pretzels on you a lot of people pushing pretzels jam it up. No pretzels, stop with the pretzels. I don't think anybody's pushing pretzels on you. A lot of people pushing pretzels and stuff.

Stop with the pretzels. I like the pretzels in a Reese's cup. I understand that. Pretzels and ice cream, but pretzels in the mix. Get out of here with that. Just give me a nice rolled gold. You know what I mean? Rolled gold's all right.

Love a rolled gold. They know what they're doing over there. Love a rolled gold. They do know. Costanza. Rolled gold. Yes. But they hit, when rolled gold hit the scene, they came out, they were the first ones like

national marketing money too. I remember being like, what is that? And my buddy Matt had them. Get my hands on them little guys. Ah, there's gold in them there Hills. Woo wee! Pretzel by itself stands alone. Not mixed in.

I've listened, I love, this is, I mean, like now we're really in the weeds. I am, we were a pretzel household, still am. At Denise's, at the Pieces place. That house runs on pretzels. That's, there's, you know, who opened my new bag? I would get, I'd go home and get in trouble. Oh, you didn't finish the bag, oh, the box,

like my stepdad had the Sniders hard pretzel the box And I would get a box of I'd get you chewing rocks a box of those a fresh box of those where they're still intact This is how much of a dirt bag I am I I like the hooks on it like the top I like the ears break them up so I break them up, and I left my stepdad with a box of middles Break them up so I break them up, and I left my stepdad with a box of middles Dude, he was so fucking he came home with one or two in him. He was fucking irate fucking grab the keys Hey boss. I'll see you later. I like the middles. I like the twist um Yeah, that's my favorite part of a soft pretzels the inside obviously sure that's why Reed is water ice does the braid

Obviously. Sure. That's why Reed is water ice does the braid. Man, Gaten, I used to know how fat. Remember the braids there like a foot long pretzel braid? I would crush one of them with a large, large root beer, water ice or chocolate. I was a root beer chocolate guy. You like chocolate water ice? Man, what a weirdo. What do you mean?

A chocolate snow cone? No, it's water ice. It's different. My aunt used to push diet chocolate soda on it. That's great. I mean, I'm not a fucking asshole. It's a dessert. It would have like a film on it. Uh-uh. Yeah, the chocolate water ice is a different texture than the rest of it. Vanilla was very good too. I didn't like the-

Vanilla? Yeah. They. I didn't like the vanilla. Yeah. They don't make vanilla water ice. Aritas did forever. What? Yeah. That was my go to root beer was the best obvious. I think they were trying stuff out on you.

It's all medicine. Here comes Denise's boy. Roll out the prototypes But a Snyder the big box of Snyder's what a can of spray cheese and a fucking screaming cold diet Sure, screaming cold Coca Cola. No can't be we love love love. You don't got to defend yourself here. I'm not Going to wiki pretzel later get my rocks off Pictures of pretzels on feet. That's gross. You got to draw the line somewhere. Um, all right, let's see here.

This one's from Thomas. Are you and your girlfriend trash if you bring your small black stone to a hotel on vacation because the balcony has a plug outside? Oh, man. You're grilling on a balcony on vacation, a hotel on vacation because the balcony has a plug outside. Ooh, man. You're grilling on a balcony on vacation? At a hotel? At a hotel? That's crazy. You're not grilling, you're flat topping.

Yeah. What are you doing, omelets? Can you see how the smallest, what the, that might not be that small. What the smallest Blackstone is? Man. I mean, that seems, but at the same time, if it's not that nice of a hotel, also, what kind of fucking research are you doing

to find out if there's plugs outside? That, if you're going to the front desk, it'd be like, hey. You guys have a hot tub? Yes, sir. Do you guys have a gym? Yeah, you guys got plugs outside on the balcony? That's crazy.

That's not research and that's case. Yeah, that's driving by. You've seen that. Why are you staying at a Yeah, that's driving by you seen that why you Why you staying at a hotel that you're trying to save some cash? I guess you're driving by oh no That's what I'm saying. It's got to be like in your neighborhood if you're driving by it I would say Google images is what I would say if you've got a flat top on a on a bellhop cart Your pat you're bringing a cooler into Yeah, of course. 22 inches. That's

not that small. It's like a, like a hot plate. It's about the size of this monitor here. That's pretty big to be taken on vacation with you. It depends on how many people you're feeding. I don't eat that many burgers. It says him and his girlfriend. All right, there you go. All right all right couple of smash burgers on that and some sides sure You know what's great about burgers that I've been getting These onion burgers that are they seem to be all the rage at the moment you guys onto this Oh the smash burger with the onions in it Oklahoma style. Oh, yeah, put a couple pretzels in there. Call me Susie

Dude burger she wrote in Los Angeles has an unbelievable I like it for the name burgers shout out to the nudes man that place is awesome that's pretty good I like long nudes pro skater who opened the yeah it's a different way I know this guy who hangs ten yeah that's a great name burger she wrote I like lawn burger special Special Toppings victims. Fuck! I'm sick! I'm on medicine! I was so close! I was right! In my head, it was clean!

What you meant is Law and Burger Special Fixins Unit. That's what it was. That's what it was. Fuck! Goddamn Dayquil! Special Fixes Unit This is gonna make me feel like I'm on meth over here. Special I was going for special toppings unit

What did I say? Special toppings victims? Oh no The jalapenos got me He was found with four types of pickles on him The special victims unit, the cops have mustard in their holsters Too special yet equal to equal groups the front of the house it takes the order and the back of the house who cooks the burgers

These are their stories. Tum tum. Detective brisket. All right. Pretty good. I'd say we're right there. I think that was it. Skinny balls on that one.

What was Briscoe's partner's name? He had a couple. First one was Benjamin Bratt, right? No. I think somebody one was Benjamin Bratt, right? No, I Think somebody was before Benjamin Bratt. Uh That was Diaz Ray it Sure, I think Benjamin Bratt was his first partner Benjamin Bratt has the best hidden camera moment on TV of all time

Oh, yeah They got a woman who's like a super fan of Benjamin bratt And the setup was that he's gonna play their waiter at a restaurant So he's gonna walk up the table. She's gonna freak out big reaction, right? This lady doesn't recognize him at all. It just serves them their whole meal Show is that I can't remember some celebrity whatever Attack punk type thing. Oh, no Fuck doesn't kill me. It might have been Christopher North

No, he couldn't have been first. What are you nuts? Why they rode together till the end who oh, oh, I'm thinking No, no, he he was later Are you sure I'm by you? He was later. Are you sure? I think. I'm answering. I don't know. That's what...

Brad was like first, wasn't he? I could be completely wrong. Maybe Brad came later. I don't know. Benjamin Brad? Benjamin Brad. All right, hold on. Let me get a...

Love him. Let me get a thing here. Give me one second. Everybody was great in that. Season one, detective George Zandania Christopher North Dan Florek okay who were they Zunda is the big guy he was in deer hunter I'm a man was the bartender and deer hunter briscoe is the fucking sure I guess it was Craig I don't remember justumia, because Zunga's Zunda, Dan Zunda.

You don't remember the actor's name. I am a huge Law and Order fan, which I know is trashy TV. But fucking sign me up. I don't think it's trashy TV. I think it's classic. What are you talking about? I would define it as an American staple. 100 percent. One of the only shows that continue to shoot on film, too. I don't know if they still do.

No way. For a long long long time. They did Anywho that's neither here nor there of course got bogged down and fucking briscoe universe This one's from big buck hunter tech retired It's a shout out to you $10 shareholder never have one red is a garbage You eat all the skin off a roto before anybody else gets their hands on it Which I think is the move I gotta have a balance What do you mean skin the chicken really? Yes? I can't have it mixed with the chicken really I gotta go full skin It's gotta be hot. I gotta eat that right eat the crispy part I can eat on its own, but sometimes when you pull it you get that it turns

We were talking about this the other day the underside of a chicken When you pull it you get that it turns we're talking about this the other day the underside of a chicken It's like mashed potatoes over there. Yeah, not for the kid squeamish Garoti Charles Grote Charles Yeah, I don't uh I Gotta hit it quick cuz the second it's not skin to me Once it cools down it becomes skinny you start seeing the bumps where the feathers. Yeah, that's not for me.

Is anybody know how to cook the underside of the chicken? To get that crispy in there. Just the way it is. I'm sitting there because they rotate. So it cooks normal, but then it sits there for fucking four or five hours. Yeah, I would always be when I was a kid, I'd be fascinated by that. Like if we have like chicken for dinner, it was like a Roto lifting it up and looking at the underside of it. You'd be like, look, the alien, you know, an alien's face.

Yeah. Weird parts and bits. Roto didn't come until later for us. Way later. High school, maybe. Shout out to Country Butcher. So we used to get it from came in a foil bag I mean maybe the whole family Like Darby 87 cents your whole family's eating one roto or the roto's got smaller. That's a small bird now Yeah, they got smart. We were we were a one roto family Wow two growing boys, too

Yeah, cuz they're like time now you look at some of us they had it over in the kitchen I didn't realize it, but it was presented on the table really go out of like gremlins All right, let's see here in the same vein as hotels $10 homie here Are you garbage for stealing a pillow from an Alabama Marriott hotel when you were 14 you've used it every night since I'm 31 now Jesus that's a good pillow. I mean you yeah, but. No, the smell on that. That's crazy. Unless you're, you gotta take real, I mean, I get a couple of months out of a pillow before it gets Charles Grody. It's bad. I mean, I'm not saying I stopped there, but my pillows have been in bad shape. Putting your head on a pillow caseless pillow

of somebody else's and feeling that smoothness of the face grease. Really buffed out. Yeah, but then sometimes you like the smell of it. Man. You know what I'm talking about? Not really. I can't say I do.

Couple random pillows with that face grease? Mm-mm. There was, I remember. Smell like somebody's cologne on it. For the longest time, I didn't know those yellow stains on pillows were. I just thought that's what happened to pillows. I didn't realize it was like.

What do you think it was? I don't know. I was a kid. I just figured. That's you drooling at night. Sweat, too. Mostly sweat, I think. I sleep hot. I drool a lot. I just figured that's you drooling at night sweat to sweat. I think I sleep hot I drool a lot when I sleep

sure um But I just thought that's why like that didn't now looking back I'm like I feel like every pillow I ever used was yellow as a kid there was a lot of probably older You never got we never got fresh pillows. Oh, no, like I don't my the first Maybe my parents would get it. I Don't know maybe 11 or 12 and it was only once where they turned over their bedding You know what I mean? Oh mom and dad got a new comforter. They that just goes into another room I pass that down. Yeah, we weren't we were blanket people. I was a blanket kid for most of my life.

We I didn't have a comforter. What's a comforter? Well, we had a comforter. You know, with the like a comforter. We were blankets. I had blankets on my bed. And some of them were real old, like from the 70s. And they were like military blankets.

With that real rough thing, you had to put like two sheets underneath that, otherwise you were scratching all night. Yeah, no, we were we were two single beds. Me and Danny and they were matching. The one was like a soccer theme that we made in the they got in the 90s. Yours was pretzels. Couple of our bodies, you know what I mean? Yeah, but like those light comforters that don't like cover you we're just talking about yeah, they don't fall well Oh, it's like too airy. It's like cotton candy plastic. Yes socks

Yeah, it was never fucking stuff it in the idiot in there I mean they need it between the legs plus I need it curled under my feet so I can rub my piggies together Why I go night night. I need I need an open foot Okay, something hit out. Yeah, I'm 90% of the time feet out. Your feet are out. Uh-huh. Whoa, that's how they get you That's how you regulate the temp. Big time. Yeah, my piggies are covered. That's somebody reach out and grab you I'm not too concerned about that something coming out from under your bed. Yeah, right. I know you I am afraid under the bed sometimes. He knows me.

He knows me. Bad things live. Oh yeah, it ain't down there if you don't go looking. You know what I mean? Plausible deniability. I ever looked under my bed and saw a set of eyes just open up, jump right out the window. I do that sometimes, unlike in the burbs. If I just open up jump right out the window. I do that sometimes

Unlike in the burbs if I wake up right there if I wake up in the moonlight to pee and I'll look out the window Oh, and I'll be like I'm expecting to see somebody just you know somebody fucking closing in on my perimeter You if you looked at your window, and there was somebody just standing in your backyard looking up at the window. What would you do? I fucking Freaked the fuck I'd waterboard myself There was somebody just standing in your backyard looking up at the window. What would you do? I? fucking Freaked the fuck I'd waterboard myself. I don't Babe you're on your own. I call 911 immediately immediately I got the I got the alarm set up, so they're not getting in without triggering uh-huh get the steel that I carry Really mostly a sack of sack of nickels. Try to bribe them all.

This is for you! Plenty of more where that came from. Did you sick the dog on him? Uh, yeah for sure. Really? I mean if he's, we've talked about this, if he's breached the home, yeah, yeah, it's every may not you got to start pulling your way for the family. He's scared to put sick to soggy on him Yeah, uh, but it is what it all goes down your what happens if I go down So who's gonna raise the goddamn dog? You know what I mean? So it's like a figure you gotta fight in unison here. Sure I was thinking more supernatural. I Don't bother me if you looked out and saw the slender man standing out there Louie's got a great bit about that that'd be in the news like it's also

like if that guy's coming then get me like I can't I don't know how to I don't long fingers they're fucking you know I've traveled from the eighth rung of hell to rip your mortal soul from your cold. Oh blanket. I'm sorry I could possibly my one weakness Let the Louie bit. No, that's me off the dome. I pretty good little riffin pretty good pretty good um I just from Alex. This is just funny ever been hunted question mark hunted friend of miss is so funny

This is just funny ever been hunted question mark hunted friend of this is so funny Friend of mine went on a solo camping trip and was stalked by a mountain lion for a full day Man I'd fucking kill myself. I hate those videos those mountain lion there's that one walking they're walking down like a stone street or whatever and he's just walking and things just There's that one walking there walking down like a stone street or whatever and he's just walking the things just Nah, yeah, I'd freak out and I never know like do you scream? Do you yell? Do you make yourself big? Do you make yourself different with the different animals? I know there's you're supposed to make yourself big some of them Some of them you lay down and play dead Why I could not do that and the real problem is that I don't remember which ones which it's black bear and brown bear

And I don't know which one I couldn't do the lay bear and brown bear, and I don't know which one. I couldn't do the lay down and play dead because... I'll start shadow boxing. If they... because they... if that don't work, you're done, because he's up sniffing you. Listen, I think you're done either way. Also, also, you're the loudest breather of all time. Buddy, I know you're awake. I can hear you breathing. You have your CPAP machine on.

He's just tapping me on the shoulder. You're laying down to play dead going ah! Plus I wouldn't be able to keep it up if once I felt that snout breathing on me. I would freak out. You gotta be dead. You gotta be the Iceman. You gotta be Klinsky to get through that. Your biggest fear should be that the big fella thinks that you're a little lady.

Hello. Well, I'd rather that. Show him your feet. I'd rather that. Take me out, show me a good time. Such split of salmon with him. Actually look pretty good when they're eating the salmon out of the river.

Fresh. Oh my God, you look right at home catching one of your Borrowing stuff from them. That's fresh sushi right there, but you picked up dollar for that back in the city. Mm-hmm never been fresher Caught that's that's funny though fucking dude. I would that's why you don't go out there by yourself I'm scary that they're so adorable. They're so cute. Okay. No, they're looking a big cat Yeah, no, I mean sure I see what you're saying, but that thing and rip you apart You'd be done. Just water you uh-huh man stalking you. That's crazy I'd rather have a human chasing me. I'd rather I'd rather have some

What what's your problem? Hey, man, just sit have a beer. Do you I saw you do it out there, dude I can hear you breathing buddy. Is it starting to freak me out? Camping by yourself, that's insane insane dude I don't like taking the trash cans out by myself I scary up the driveway scary man I remember my mom takes him out at night we always put ours out at night night trash night no you put him out in the morning put him out when when there's daylight out and people around now We never know we were always trash night. I'm not going near a trash can late at night

That's when the raccoons are in there captain that work. We kept them in the garage same thing Don't have the garage door code Take him out at night always before before before dusk Get them out there that we were never that I remember catching a ration of shit For leaving the kid walking by the cans on the after I came home from school. Oh Dropped a head. I didn't man. I remember my dad picked me up That was like his body. I'm trash cams his he goes. How'd you get home from school?

You take the bus again. It's always thinking he's like talking to me. He's fucking a rope it's open How'd you get home from school you take the ball? Yeah? Yeah took the bus? Hey, you drops off right at the top is it drops me off on the corner. You know Sweet guy jumps is right off you walk by the fucking trash can for your mother to come home from fucking work at all God damn night Cut to the trash cans and keep me flying into Jazzy Jeff style yeah, yeah fucking jam me up good But we gotta wrap it up gang what a fun one

I was a fun fan that good to be back had a great trip with you guys love you It's happy to be back shout out to the fucking homies The whole army of garbage and get tickets to them live shows baby because they're selling out. Come see us down there in Tampa gang. We love you and we'll see you next week. Peace. Peace.