Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Stolen Identity w/ Kippy & Foley
Episode Date: April 8, 2024Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live ...show! Through the Roof Tour Tickets: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Get 50% off your 1st box by going to https://factormeals.com/Garbage50 and use code GARBAGE50 Manscaped: https://www.manscaped.com Promo Code: Garbage This Show is sponsored by BetterHelp Better Help: https://www.BetterHelp.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?
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Attention Georgia, Florida, the boys are coming south baby.
Hooty Hoo!
Grab the squad and come out and see us.
Stand up comedy then we play a little AYG with the crowd.
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We'll see you there.
The Big Man Ain't Lying April 19th.
We're going to be at the Tampa Theater in Tampa, Florida.
Then we're taking it up to Atlanta, Georgia on April 20th
at the Center Stage Theater.
Get your tickets at rugarbage.com.
We love you.
Hooty Hoo!
Welcome to another exciting edition at RUgarbage.com. We love you. Whoop-de-hooo! Welcome to another exciting edition of RUgarbage.
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash.
Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is are you garbage?
Oh, yeah, it's that little show
We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find it at the group to be classy
Yeah, just a big old piece of trash trash trash trash. I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a rainy day
We're out back here at Tooties in the new edition. She finally showed up from Europe. Okay customs dropped her off this morning
She has a shamrock tattoo on her left buttocks
Okay, it's infected and a new husband named Declan good for him
He's gonna be staying with us for a little bit. Yeah, wait, I call him dad
I'll tell you that right now my co-host is coming at you from across the table is what we call a family episode
Just the boys the bo, and the homies.
He is the CEO of RU Garbage.
He is an international businessman.
And let me tell you something, folks.
The next time you reach out for a Best Pal,
do yourself a favor, make it a kippy.
Give it up for Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
Hey, what's up, everybody?
Thanks for tuning in.
Payday's coming up.
You're buttering me up for something.
Something's not, something ain't right. You bought me a pack of heaters. You're buttering me up for something. Something's not, something ain't right.
You bought me a pack of heaters.
You're buttering me up for something.
I don't like it.
Just trying to be a nice guy.
I can see that coming up by the way.
Trying to be a good friend.
What's up everybody?
Pals, amigos.
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you're ready
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on 200,000 subscribers over there.
Woo wee! Shout out to the army of garbage.
Love them.
And then we're gearing up for the through the roof tour,
baby, the new 2024 tour.
And it's starting in...
Next week.
Starting next week.
Yeah, we got to get our fucking, our ducks in a row here.
We do, all new material.
All new material from the specials.
No refunds by the way. No. All new material, not from the specials. No refunds, by the way.
No, all new material, not from the specials.
Yeah, sorry.
It starts in route from starts in Charlotte.
Charlotte sold out. I apologize.
Nashville sold out.
I apologize. Tampa tickets still available.
Grab them. They're at the Tampa theater.
And then we're going to Atlanta.
Hotlanta tickets still available there. I also had another theater. So get those tickets, baby. Yeah. They're at the Tampa Theater and then we're going to Atlanta.
Atlanta. Tickets still available
there. Also at another theater.
So get those tickets, baby. Yeah.
All you garbage.com. How about a
nice quick shout out to our
producer extraordinaire, the
old magic man makes us all look
good. Works the ones, the twos,
the threes, and the fours. He
crosses the T's and he dots the
I's. It's T-Bone McMuffin. Toby
McMullen, everybody. What up,
boy? How are you, pal? I'm great, man. I'm excited to get back out on the road.
Back out on the road with the tour bus.
Yeah, we got a tour bus, guys.
We told the homies we got a tour bus just for the first run.
The break it even tour.
The losing money tour is what we're calling it.
It's just because the flights, there's too many flights.
The cities are all, the way the routing is,
we gotta be zip zapping all over
and like 10 hour drives and shit like that,
which I ain't doing in a goddamn minivan. plus Declan just got here. He needs a job
He's the driver nice. Yeah, so it'll be a good time get those tickets
Are you garbage and that tour bus is certified pre-owned? Oh, yeah, they actually just switched it this morning
What the one I thought we were gonna know hot tub no hot tub. I don't even think this is a hell of bad
I don't think this thing has wheels
It's a 1984 built line.
No it's not.
An 84?
They don't build them like they used to.
Wait you're joking.
An 84?
It'll be rolling down the windows.
I guess you could probably rip heaters out of there.
It's encouraged.
That's crazy.
I'm going to be digging through the couch cookins for Quaaludes and stuff.
Wait you got us on a 30-year-old bus?
A 40-year-old bus?
Is that?
84 was 40?
I'm 86, and I'm 37.
Jesus Christ, dude.
I don't have you on anything.
The good folks at busrental.org.
Man, they saw you coming.
I found it on Craigslist.
Talk about a rope of dope.
Jesus.
In 84? What? That's nuts. You got us a found it on Craigslist. Talk about a rope of dope. Jesus. In 84?
What?
That's nuts.
You got us a tour bus on Craigslist?
No.
The driver's going to be like,
cash or we can pay another.
Or booty hole.
Don't look in the wheel wells, boys.
You want to see helicopters?
I'll show you helicopters.
Yikes.
Get on in, boys. We're riding dirty and we're feeling flirty.
By the way, I got something-
We get pulled, everybody playing fucking cool.
He's got a gun on us.
Hope this guy doesn't try to be a hero.
What the fuck?
I want a cowboy driver, dude.
I got something local.
A little bit of a beef with the Philadelphia Phillies.
I don't know if this came across your radar. You know
what is no longer in existence? Oh, yeah. Man. Dollar dog night.
Talk about ruining the season before it even got started.
Yeah. Dollar dog night's been 86, T-Bone. Oh, why? Because
the people of Philadelphia couldn't be trusted with a
projectile that costed them four quarters. Let's go to the
weather. Maybe. It's raining mustard. It's all money. It's crazy. Dollar dog.
Those were listen in high school. They were Hatfield dogs too.
Those were the days we would go down, right? So it would be
like at seven, whatever, 705 games, 710, whatever they are.
We would buy the cheapest tickets you could buy online.
Sure. They were $9, $8, something like that. Just to get in,
we pre-g- we tailgate underage until, you know, the fifth could you could buy online $9 $8 or like that just to get in.
We pre get we tailgate underage until you know the fifth inning
then wander in load up on dogs crush about not even go to the
seats. Just crush about 78 dogs were so good to maybe get a beer
or a bag maybe get a few minutes someone had a good fake ID get
a beer in a ballpark for about $13 like a gentleman. man, you felt you couldn't tell me shit drinking and drinking in a ballpark underage
Your boy going it's from Michigan and it's scan
Scannable ID back and I don't know what they the ID technology has got to be crazy now
Right kids still I'm sure make it work, but it's I'm not that we condone that kind of activity here
Yeah, I know I'm just saying it's got to be harder But then I guess you have the technology sure make it work, but it's not that we condone that kind of activity here Yeah, I know I'm just saying it's got to be harder
But then I guess you have the technology to make it you know what I mean
I gotta tell you Kip it's been a while since I drank with teens yeah me too
Right guys. I was with you all week
Exactly have my finger on the pulse as it were no I'm saying more from a technology
Standpoint because they got the holograms and all the hologram the ladies kids. They got the 3d printers and shit
That's what I'm saying. So they put that and now everybody has more access to technology to make them easier
That's what that's my boy Trevor. He makes ghost guns and fake IDs
Yeah, I remember when they first started using that that when the bouncer all of a sudden just had that
Walk man in his hand and he would scan it fucking you mean jam up mean jam up city? Damn. Buddy, let me in.
I'm trying to strike out in there.
Yeah. What are you talking about?
That technology hit like 2001.
You were 37.
No, I was not.
That's 2001.
Sitting at the bar drinking and going, oh, man,
that would have jammed me up about 20 years ago.
No, like 97, 98, I was 21.
And they had it before that.
Some parts started to have it before then. The scannables. Yeah, I don't remember
Yeah, I just remember I believe so not all I would tell him eight that when I'm handed it
Hey, don't scan I went through the wash, which is a dead. Obviously you're lying. You know, I don't scan a dog
God, it just got back from Afghanistan
Fatigue's on I just got back from Afghanistan. It's 98. Absolutely. Three years before we went in. I got fatigues on.
You don't want to see what I saw.
You weren't a Union soldier.
I gave you the right to deny me from this bar.
You're right. They started scanning IDs in 1995.
Yeah, I know I'm right, Toby.
Gee, okay. Psycho.
You know I'm right. I was banging back then.
You guys really mad about Declan.
Popping E-bombs.
Getting loose.
Loose as a goose.
You are, Tony Sarah Goose.
I rest in peace by the way.
Oh man.
The goose is loose.
The goose was great.
What?
Something came across my radar.
Luke and I discussed this briefly somewhere in Ireland, I can't remember. But a tell-tale sign of a garbage household growing up in the 80s and 90s.
Drumroll.
Toby hit him right there.
Oh yeah.
Right there, baby.
That was for sure.
There was nothing that said trash, like having one of those things sitting next to the ketchup and mayonnaise. We are of course referring to the squeezable lime lemon juice in the fake plastic lemon.
Yeah.
Which made a hell of a lemonade.
But you got screamed at because you had to use the whole thing.
For me that was for, in our house that was for cocktails.
Cocktails?
Yeah. Instead of a lemon or a lot, my stepdad would do
do an absolute tonic splash of Gatorade with a splat with that with that line. Really? That's I've never I just learned you could make lemonade with it.
Yeah, I thought that was purely for cocktails.
Every bar to every every party down the shore.
Really? Was on the bar.
We just had one of those in the fridge.
The first one had to be there for the first 12 years of my life.
They lasted little dabble, do you?
When it comes to them thing, the lemon in the lime.
When you just never had the lime, only the lemon.
When you discovered that second you taste it, you're like, yikes.
Yeah, this needs a little sugar.
Yeah, we were we were a big.
I mean, I'd be hard pressed to find out if there's probably
one still in Denise's fridge right now
Sure, the let the lime not the lemon. We use a different kind of lemon juice line. That's cool. You did
Yeah, that's pretty cool. I think like a ketchup bottle style
They're not a ketchup bottle but like a taller skinnier squeeze bottle really yeah
I in my hair with you guys ever go so far as to class it up to have the like restaurant
Probably not catch a bottle in the thing.
What like the glass one glass one.
What now my Prince Charles what it was red and had a white top
and it had a it had a lid on it a little baby lid that was
connected to it. Oh, oh like from the 50s. Yeah, we didn't
have that. No, we had one left leftover from like a Labor Day party or something.
Like, sure, like a barbecue.
They were like bacon. They pray. Yeah.
Crusty. Yeah. Yeah.
I know you mean a little industrial, but yeah, the squeeze bottle
that you would see like salad dressing in. Yeah. Yeah.
No, no, never had that.
But about about two tablespoons of water would come out first
before you got to drop a ketchup.
Talk about ruining a hot dog.
Man, that water squirt on the mustard and the ketchup.
Yikes.
Everybody knows I'm a plain dog, man.
Well done. Charles Grote.
I gotta make Charles Grote shirts.
Yeah, Luke was the one that brought it up.
I was like, man, I haven't thought about that 20 years.
Didn't we see a bar had it, right?
I don't remember. That's how it came up, I think. What do we see a bar had it right? I don't know how it came up. I think I think we saw a bar had it or something
Oh, yeah, those things that's that's 80s and 90s trash dirtbag shit
Oh, that's you what that is that Cindy cooking up a little salmon give them a little splat
Are you cooking with that sure? I don't think it's real. It's not concentrate
little splash in a pinch
I don't think it's real juice. It's from concentrate.
Little splash.
In a pinch?
Crazy.
Really.
I don't think that's,
I don't think my mom's ever splashed anything with limes.
We didn't have lemons in our house until I was in college.
Like I'm positive.
The only reason we have limes is Corona and cocktails.
I swear to God, no other fruit comes in the crib.
My mom likes a little maybe, maybe,
maybe banana with her special K, but other than that,
it's strictly garnishes around, around this Sullivan.
Can you have, did you have fruit like that in your house?
We had fruit, but did you have lemons in your house?
Like, did your mom cook with lemons?
We had a bunch of olives.
I'll tell you that much.
I hate that.
A bunch of cocktail onions.
Oh yeah.
It's like goddamn Sicily down there.
A lot of them onions. Oh yeah. It's like goddamn Sicily down there.
A lot of them little umbrellas. Wait, ask me again, did I what?
Did you have like lemons? We didn't, we never had lemons. Oh yeah, we always had
fruit and stuff. My mom's a really good cook, so she would mostly, but I saw her.
That makes sense. When she hears this, she'll text me and be like,
I would never cook with that! Sure. I saw her. Yeah, I saw her
We were not a big fruit how apples we were good fruit people my dad would stop at the
Italian market on when he worked at the Philadelphia Naval Base And he'd stop on the Friday and come home with like a bushel of fruit grapes cherries
I mean great would never never, never citrus fruit like that. Now,
maybe a grapefruit in the
winter. Clement times when they
were banging. Oh, those things
hit like thriller. I remember
finding them one summer. The
boxes. The wooden crate. Woo!
Man, you felt like a farmer. I
know. You felt like a newsie or
something. I felt like I was on
the godfather. Um. The mail
ended up in those things. Yeah.
That, dude, I, and I'm still not sure what it is
I assume a fruit but I remember I went over my buddy's house and he offered me guava juice
I was like what the fuck did we were in high school like junior high?
I'm like, I'll do it fucking dr. Pepper. Hit me with guava
Dude guava juice is great. So's passion fruit. I love all that stuff. Yeah, sure
We never I'm not not hearing it. But yeah, I might as well
been from Mars. Is it guava juice? Guava like the fake
honey? No, that's a gava. Ah, there we go. Yeah. So to make
tequila out of I believe I don't know. All right. That's funny.
Yeah, those things are guava juice. Yeah, no, I don't. I'm
not a Catholic. Can't have that. Dude, I can'tava juice. Yeah, no, I don't I'm not a not Catholic
Can't have that shit. It's late, dude. I can't eat that
Yeah, I gave up guava. You know, it's real nice. That was a papaya fresh papaya with a little bit of lemon on it Real nice. What's a pop? Ah, right that the birds the bird eats fruit that I don't I ain't never even seen before
Dragon fruit. Yeah, dude cheese
So the Germans do a white asparagus
What yeah, it looks like a bushel of wieners
It is the most phallic thing in the worst you brought some home last night. I was like yo tuts
This is a goddamn family building. We're living in here patty last summer bought the the tri-colored carrots by accident
Brought that right down to the rectory. Yeah.
Dude, these look like Slender Man's fingers. Dude, the one she has, I just had to take them out of the package this morning.
It's like a German Italian
certain thing. It's like binicula got after them. They're weird. I don't, that's, hey, we have to,
we have two separate sides of the fridge.
You keep your voodoo over there, alright?
I keep my chicken tendies over on this side.
My asparagus is green, so I know where my pee smells.
You get that too?
Asparagus, make your pee smell?
I wouldn't eat enough.
I got funky piss every day of the week.
Who am I kidding?
Who's kidding me? This guy's a funky pee or he got a funky beer. He got a code red. Oh, man. I
Peed this morning. I think I need to drink water. This is it was it was I pissed like earth wind and fire real funky
Guys pretty good. I don't know to tell you I was like all like, oh man, I'm gonna have to fake laugh at this one.
I thought it was a fifth element joke.
What?
Really?
It was earth, wind, fire, they were the other four elements.
And then the hot chick in the middle.
All I remember about fifth element is come on my man.
Come on, come on my man.
Great movie.
Anyway.
I got one too.
I see, but I sent you something.
This is more of a, I don't know what.
So there's a nice car in my neighborhood, a Corvette.
In the burbs or up town?
Up town.
Okay.
And this guy does this in every parking spot.
Huh.
He puts a traffic cone in front and behind.
Is that a nice car?
Corvette.
I mean, it's expensive. I'm not a car guy, but Corvettes are expensive, right?
How come that don't get stolen?
Go after your Kia.
That's probably hard to, they're probably hard to,
I mean, they're $131,000.
A Corvette is $137,000?
$197,000, $93,000, 2004 Corvette, $97,000.
Really?
Some are obviously cheaper.
But what's the, that seems like a bit of a, that's like, I don summer you obviously cheaper, but what's the
Seems like a bit of a that's like pretend. I don't know what's a dick
It's like if you're that worried about your car put it in the garage. You got the money
You got a fucking $90,000 car. That's crazy if you're driving that in the city. You're an asshole. That's a lot
That's a that's a lot of car
You got to be jamming up the bottom of that with the potholes. There's speed bumps on that road too because it's like
a screw. You don't like the humps. That guy's probably
bottoming out. I know scraping it all the time. Yeah, that's
I'm surprised those haven't been stolen. Right? Fuel injecting
machine like that. You got to keep the revs up. You can't do
that in the city. Yeah, that's all. That's a that's that's a
like a doctor or something like that. You want yours. I don't
want my doctor driving a Corvette. You never see anybody
cooled usually driving those cars.
There's always some old guy.
Some old guy with gray hair.
You know what I mean? Sure.
Never some hot dude. Maybe some bozo.
Get a look at the guy.
Just going to stand there. This is your car.
It's always in the same spot, too.
I never know how those dudes do that.
The Corvette, to me, is the most classless vehicle on the road.
That's a very Seinfeldy intake.
I like a Corvette. I don't like that one. Point made.
Yeah, I think it's a very like it is.
Isn't it like our answer to like the Ferrari and it's like our real.
Fast car. Yeah, but they never really did anything.
I don't I don't think those cars ever like ran in the like the races or
anything like that. I think like a Camaro. What do they use
for NASCAR? Those are all. What do you mean? Like aren't they
Camaro's and **** like that? I mean, no, they're all like
custom made. Are they? Oh yeah. Huh. That's pretty sweet.
That's pretty sweet. What's that? Oh, don't do this. This
is why we can't have the monitor on
Have all the information. No, we see this is you can't you lost your privileges
Yeah, I don't know. That's it's like a bit of a dork move to I don't know
It seems it's a little it goes against the recklessness of having a sports car. I think yes
Well, you got those in the trunk.
I also think that guy wants you to see that.
Yeah.
If you got money for a $90,000 car,
which is an insane amount of money to spend on a car,
you got the money to put it in a garage.
Do me a favor.
Can you steal those?
Wow.
Get those in here.
Get them in here?
Yeah, steal them.
They're not his.
He could have bought them, or maybe he stole them, but they're sitting on city property
That's not a part of the car. It's a good point the the I didn't know whose it was it was left here
The Corvette is the the second fastest production car made in America. Yeah, you got what's the first?
the Rossian Q1
Then I don't know it sounds like some company that made 10 of these and then...
Yeah, no, I think, I think Seinfeld was saying that it's like a...
It's like a gross...
It is like, like Porsche is the...
You know, Porsche and Ferrari are like the...
They're cappuccino!
The artisanal, like the fine, there's Roman, this is like...
Like we're fucking...
It's Dunkin' Donuts. Yeah, we're loud, we're American and let's fucking rock, baby. The old ones were the fine, there's romance. This is like, like we're fucking. It's Dunkin' Donuts.
Yeah, we're loud, we're American,
and let's fucking rock, baby.
The old ones were sweet though, the Stingrays,
the one that had like the,
look like a shark coming out.
Sure. In the 80s.
I'm not a big car guy, I don't know anything about cars.
Those dudes got laid.
No, that bubble, that rear bubble
on the back window is awful.
Yeah. Horrible.
You know what's a sweet whip is that?
Looks like bad foreskin, and I would know.
The car they made in Ford versus Ferrari, for the LeMans. Yeah. Horrible. You know, it's a sweet whip is like bad foreskin and I would know the car they made in Ford versus Ferrari for the Lamans.
Yeah, that thing was tight.
Yeah, I never made those things zipping around with those.
Nobody.
What?
I mean, I don't think like there.
I mean, it's like it's like a rocket.
What do you mean?
Who's like dropping your kids off at school in that thing?
I mean, there's one real scary wheel in the middle.
There was one real rich kid in our town and he got a
fucking Corvette for 16th birthday. That's crazy. Man, he
would drive that thing to school, pull up next to me and
my 96 Chevy Lumina with the paint hanging off, dude. It was
a tough look. Finishing up a soft pretzel before you hit the
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When you sign up for the Patreon, we'll answer your garbage questions.
On the air, and we got one, two, three hump-dingers today.
Nice.
Uh, this is from Christopher.
First time, long time, you ever charge your phone outside?
Ooh.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. That is a jam.
The toughest of the looks.
It felt like a real piece of garbage plugging my off--brand iPhone charger into the wall waiting for the train this morning
Dude that man tough. Oh, you gotta do it. I everyone's done it
Looking dude looking for an outlet like a crackhead when you're at like when you're either dead or at like 3%
It's not that bad anymore, but for a while
that was That was like a part of life.
Everybody's phone was dying. Right? Everybody's phone was almost dying. Yeah, charging, charging,
charging, charging, charging, charging, charging, working at restaurants. So many people, can
I charge my phone? Which I feel that should be okay. Like I understand that it's asking of you
and that aside, whatever, like I understand
it's not your job, but there should be,
everybody's running on phones at this point.
The bartenders, the waitresses,
the owner of the goddamn restaurant
has been in a position where he's been out for eight hours
and was like, fuck, my phone's dying.
There shouldn't be a taboo.
I agree it shouldn't be your job,
but there should be no taboo.
Behind the bar and the host stand,
I think are the only places you can ask.
But a lot of people don't want to get involved in that
because what if the phone gets stolen?
I understand.
I totally understand.
I understand all the negatives to it, but also.
And also.
We're living in a goddamn society here.
Juice me up.
Let me ask you this.
So I can check my Instagram.
If you're a person.
I'm a guy. That uses a lot of juice. I use a lot of juice. up. Let me ask you this. So I can check my Instagram. If you're a guy, if you're a person. I'm a guy that uses a lot of juice. I use a lot of juice. Okay. Lemon. Is it not your responsibility? Okay, so there's two different, there's two, there's two different sides of this coin. There's you walking up to the hosting of the bartender with just your phone saying, hey, Mandy, I have a charger. Or the gentleman move is you walk up with the with the phone and your charger and say, hey, can
I plug this in somewhere? 100% agree with you gotta keep a
charger on you. Not yet, but dude, every this is what I'm
saying. Everybody's been in a position where you don't have a
**** charger. You're the most dead phone guy I know. Am I?
Well, you and Kibbe are close. I am up there. I don't think so.
Maybe you're a second to Kibbe. I seldom ever need a charger from anybody.
It's Johnny Tough Guy all the time.
It's a weird hill to die.
I never needed a charge, dude.
My phone's always juiced.
I'll tell you what the real hero for an urban charge is.
Oh, urban charge.
That's pretty good.
That's my new movie.
Outdoor dining.
Because they often will have the Christmas lights.
That's just an extension cord, baby.
Yeah. Plugging in. Buddy. Dining because they often will have the Christmas lights. That's just an extension cord, baby. Yeah
plugging in
I've had I've dangled before I charged a weed vape on the street not too long ago
The homeless guys are charging up places a lot of the scaffolding in New York. They have the charging stations where they have those little things
But like the video I don't go near them. Oh, of course not. I don't touch them with a ten-foot fucking pole
but But like the video I don't go near them. Oh, of course not. I don't touch them with a ten foot fucking pole But uh
There should be a thing
And I understand it's not the restaurants or bars or whatever's responsibility
But we're living in a world where everybody could use some juice
There should be more power banks in a restaurant or a bar
Some of some of them have them they used to remember these to have me you could they would charge you for it You'd remember yeah, it was like a restaurant or a bar. Some of them have them. Remember they used to have them? They would charge you for it?
Yeah, it was like a dollar or something.
I'd be happy if you're jammed up and I gotta be out for a couple more hours
or I'm waiting to meet somebody.
What bar did we used to go to that had that? You put it in like a locker.
Stand Up New York had it.
They did.
Yeah, those never really took off though.
Those like, you know.
But a lot of places just have it like Brooklyn Comedy Club.
You go into the bar, they got like fucking seven over there on the side. Oh, do they fucking plug in the Brooklyn Comedy?
Shout out the Brooklyn Comedy Club. Um
But there's got to be something it's got to change here
We're just raw dog it like and it's like you got to go. Do you have a charger?
It's like this is a business you're running on tablets iPads. Everyone's got an iPhone
Yeah, they have that for their employees,
for their products.
Yeah, I understand that.
It's not an Apple store.
I'm not saying that.
I'm not asking to fucking buy a charger.
You're gonna buy a hamburger.
Yeah, and if you want me to buy,
if you want me to buy two, three rounds of drinks,
I'm gonna need to charge my phone.
You wanna upsell me?
Get the fucking, let's go.
No, I agree that, I'm not saying it's their job.
I'm saying as a society as a whole, we need to do better.
Toby just charge his phone.
I saw you making moves over there.
Running out of juice.
Have they figured out the what does the Android charger uh hole
looks with the little teeth on
it. Oh, that's Toby dangling
his charger outside or his vape
That's homeless guy **** I I
know we were outside of a show
that didn't have a green room. So, we were just like like it was like old school stuck in the streets while the show was going on
That's your that's your the nicotine pen. No, it's weed. Oh my yeah, that is look that dude. That's trash
I know
Damn, I'm feeding on the inside of the building outside. No, that's like the that's the the hut. Oh
Okay, yeah, we're dining listen man. I'm domesticated these days, but I'm an alley's like the that's the the hut. Oh, okay. The outdoor dining. Listen, man. I'm
domesticated these days, but I'm an alley cat at the end of
the day. Sure. We spent too much too much time in the streets,
dude. Now, if I was if I was the restaurant manager, that
would be I'm throwing you out. Well, here's the thing. I don't
think he wasn't even at the restaurant. Of course not. Can't
kick me off public property. This is how I use the bathroom
too. This is halfway down the block I saw an opportunity. I struck I pay my goddamn taxes come on. That's crazy. Yeah, that's crazy, but listen
It's my juice, and I need it now. We're in an electronical world everybody's got two three fucking
Electronics on them at any given time buy one of those packs. I
Listen I understand that I haven't had to ask a bar or restaurant in a long time if I can charge never
I try to stay on top of it, but
People are torrid you're in a city or a different country and things fucking happen here. You got come on
What are we doing? New York City should be able to charge your phone. It's outside is a tough look
I will say this there's those stations where they have the lockers, you know, where you like can like pay money
Yeah, and they'll charge it. Where'd you go? We just talked about that three seconds ago.
I think he was looking for his picture.
Yeah, I was saying I was... That's my bad.
Tell me more, Toby.
You guys ever had that fake lemon juice?
To deal with that. My bad.
No, those things, there was just a whole controversy about those
where they were stealing people's information.
I always worry about that when I get to an Uber
and I ask for a charger if they could steal my,
if they could get into my phone.
Well, this is funny, you ask that.
If it's not there.
Yeah.
If there's not one in the backseat for you,
do you ask to use theirs?
Oh, always.
That's, you're, see, you're not that far off.
That's like asking a bartender or a waiter.
No, that's part of the service. No, it's not.
Yes, it is in an Uber.
That's not part of their...
It always says it on the back of the...
First of all, not always.
That's not the narrative you're spinning.
In the nice Ubers.
It's not 100% guaranteed.
And a bottle of water and some hard candy.
It's not 100% guaranteed.
Never touch those waters.
To use their charger.
Huh?
It's a service they can extend if need be, but it's not party. You're not paying for that. I asked them
You're asking somebody to charge your phone. Why isn't your phone charged? This is the same thing. That's not public though
That's that's a private thing between me and the uber driver. I private thing between me
We're on the same private thing between me and the bartender. I see he's got a charger there. You see he has a charger there.
There's not 50 other people in that Uber with me.
It's just me and him.
What does that mean?
He's got 50 people a day.
We're doing it in private.
What does that mean?
You're doing it in public around other people.
If I ask a bartender, that's between me and him.
That's a safe space.
You're just making this up.
I'm not.
What do you mean a safe space?
Between you and the Uber driver.
I have a safe space between me and the, who cares if there's a safe space between me and the blue cares if there's a guy 20 feet away
You know what I'm talking about right? Yeah, let me on this well
What's in public and one's in private you're in pub you're a private vehicle. I agree with kippy. Yes
But my dude you're paying for a ride not a guy to give you a ride and charge your car
And you pay for a hamburger not to charge your phone. I agree. So you're you're on my in that situation. You're me
Okay, I see what you're saying. You're asking a guy whose job it is isn't to fucking charge your phone to charge your phone
I'm doing the same thing, but I'm a bad guy. Give that a good just give that a Google uber black
Services offered see if charge your phone comes up comes up
That's one of the things it says makes little men
feel like big shots. No point to point travel with up to four
passengers or request Uber black SUV up to six passengers there.
That's it.
It's it huh? Yeah, I don't like the way you word at that.
What is said? This is a setup all the way, but but to my
point, I don't use random cables in Ubers because now-
Can they do that?
They have cables where in the bottom,
where it's just a little USB-C part,
there's enough space for them to put in a chip
that will suck all your information right off your phone.
Oh man.
Like emails, all that kind of stuff?
All of your info.
Man.
Pics?
Yeah, it's you should-
Hey, no, boy.
Yeah, don't use those random charger stations. Hey, good luck with that, everybody. Oh, not. Yeah, don't use
those. Don't use those random
Chargers. Good luck with
everybody. Oh, not random
charging stations but in an
Uber both. Fuck, but you'd be
able to trace that back to the
Uber. How technology lasers
3D printing AI. I don't know
man. That was a one word KO, huh buddy? This guy's seeing guava juice.
I've seen videos of people at the drive-thru.
When you give them a card, they'll take a picture of it on their phone.
Yeah, my credit card information just got leaked or breached.
It's like, I'm not living that fucking nuts you know if something happens it has you know come a fucking
lunatic and not what are my phones dying I gotta go on fucking Twitter I don't
like using ATMs anymore I always feel the thing oh yeah and it's 7-elevens I
feel the feel the 11s are getting caught left and right. Big.
Who's doing that? Because they're individually owned,
aren't they? Yeah. Yeah, they're individually owned,
so it's like... Who's doing that?
You think that's the employees or is that just somebody coming in,
hey, what's that? And then they switch the thing?
I think it's the employees. Damn.
And the owners sometimes. Yeah.
Because now they're gluing them on,
so it's not the same thing where you just pull it off.
A lot of times, they'll be glued on now.
So you can't even, it won't even.
Gas stations too, you see people do it.
Back to flip phones, let's go.
I'm in, sign me up.
All right, let's see, back to the queues.
This one's from St. Louis Broad.
How are you?
$10 dollar.
Is it garbage if your local head shop growing up
was also a bait and tackle shop?
You could get a bong on the one end
and a couple of worms from the other
That's crazy. I mean that's
The Taco Bell KFC was making waves. This is fucking all-time marketing. You guys had head shops and growing up
Yeah, where?
Have to go to Philly for that Philly. There was one in New Hope we would go to
This is like when weed was still illegal illegal
They just sold bongs and for tobacco purposes
I mentioned weed or keef or anything you got thought we got tossed out of artifacts on I think was on common have
Down the boulevard because we my buddy goes is that the one with the keef catcher and she get out
We're 16. He's doing it my buddy used to work at a head shop on
I was like, buddy, we're 16. What are you doing here?
My buddy used to work at a head shop on Wilson and Montrose
in Chicago, a very cracky area.
And I would go in there and hang out and watch him just
fuck with crack heads all day.
Sure.
It's a good time.
I remember the first cracky area.
That's pretty good.
Speaking of this is very-
The neighborhood's a little cracky.
It's coming up, though.
It's a little more cokey.'s coming up though. It's a little more cokey.
There is some meth, it's nice.
Speaking of leaving a dollar dog night one night,
we were going to, we were going home,
we stopped at a gas station down there in South Philly,
like by the stadiums, like right by Tony Luke's.
And-
Tony Luke Jr.'s.
Tony Luke Jr., or whatever it was or is.
Fine product. There's a Sonoco right there in the corner.
And we stopped there.
I ran in to get heaters or something, probably, you know.
And the guy in front of I didn't know they smoked.
They sold the they sell the roses. Yeah.
Yeah. With the little glass tube at the bottom.
And I was a young whippersnapper from the suburbs.
I didn't know, you know. And they.
There was a cop. It went like a crackhead, a cop, me.
And the guy didn't wanna sell the glass,
the crackhead woman came in and asked for a flower
and he didn't wanna sell it,
thinking like he was gonna get in trouble
because the cop was there or whatever.
And the cops were like, just, he's like,
I don't know, those aren't for sale or whatever and the crack is it just fucking you know
She already had she already had the rock so she was fucking sure she was jumping it clock sticking dog
He was chopping it to bit in this bad in there
It's fucking this attendant wasn't playing ball, and she was not having it fucking act like you don't know me now, so the cop
My mouth is not numb at all
They got a cop what just give it to her man
She's carried out of the store no well I literally is I think what was that first of all I was drunk
I was like what was that all about the cop goes they use the little glass tube at the bottom. That's great
You're 16 drunk. I'm smoking crack. Hey, believe that shit. Hey lady hold up. What do you got?
Let me get five on that.
Yeah.
Yeah, well, yeah, we had there was a couple.
They were like tough to get to the like you never knew.
They were like.
Artifacts was a big one.
That was the one in the north in northeast Philly that was like standalone.
The rest were like in the back of a record shop or fucking.
Yeah, I don't remember having anything like that anywhere in the burbs.
I don't remember where people where we got our bongs.
I feel like some of them were ordered made.
Yeah, I would say out of the back of magazines, next to the X-Ray specs.
Yeah, shit like that.
We would make making bongs was. Yeah.
We would make X-ray specs.
Making bongs was an all time cool dudes.
All time thing. Sure.
PVC pipe, PVC pipe start melting.
You got a cap. What's the cap going to be made out of?
Yeah, it was always that part that killed you where the thing went in.
You had to put like putty or something.
The joint. Yeah. Yeah. We used caulk.
We were there. They were building the houses by us. We were fucking bubble gum. where the thing went in, you had to put like putty or something. The joint. Yeah, we used caulk.
They were building the houses by us. We were fucking.
Bubble gum works in a pinch. Sure.
Or what you really want is a real light melt
on the side of your water bottle. Light melt.
Sure. And you just slide it through.
Yeah. Nice seal. Yeah.
Did you get any? I mean, that's disposable bongs.
Oh, sure. Did any of your dad's
did any of your friend's dads
have such a sophisticated workstation
where they had a soldering iron?
My one buddy did. Yeah, we did. My dad did. Yeah.
No kidding. Like that little the needle.
Mm hmm. Really? Oh, that. Yeah.
I mean, we had it. I mean, you know, in a construction company.
So the girl was everything.
And there was like a fucking welding machine and a fucking
like here and there soldering torch and stuff. I never told you that story I had to make a I had to make Saturn or something
It was due the next morning, and I was like I like came to home and I made all steel
I made him like sod I had a thing with the rings
But I needed to get like the beads on it or something and I remember it was an all-time moment
I have my dad in the garage
He's got the soldering iron cuz we had to like cut these rings these metal rings and he was gonna solder them back So he's got nothing soldering iron. He's got the soldering iron because we had to like cut these rings, these metal rings, and he was going to solder them back. So he's got not the soldering iron, he's got the torch.
Like a welding torch. Yeah, but like a soldering torch is like a different temperature.
So it's just like a big blow torch kind of and you have the soldering wire and you like melt it as it
goes. Like how you would do like a copper pipe or whatever and man he lit a sig off the torch in the garage and I was just like man you are a renegade I was probably
like seven years old so he's got a sig in his mouth and he's soldering rings of Jupiter
for me for like my third my third grade project I was like this dude parties I gotta get a
thing of munchkins too yeah why'd you. He's like, why'd you wait till the last fucking minute?
Hell of a joint, though.
The guy could solder.
I always thought that that would be.
There's no way that teacher thought you made that.
Oh, no.
I bragged.
My dad soldered this.
It was the specification.
I always thought that was going to be,
if I ever wanted to do anything with my life
when I was a kid, from watching TV shows
or the smart kids that made those things,
maybe some of my brother's friends that were smart
that did those, and then when it got to my turn
to do that, whatever grade that was,
I always wanted that to look really good.
They went to Michael's, they got the stuff,
they took the weekend and did it.
Yeah, no, never.
Never. They just never did it. Yeah, no, never. Never.
They'd never just never did it. Never cared.
Those things looked so cool.
When they were done right, man, to see it on the bus or they were getting
dropped off because he couldn't take it on the bus.
Whatever it was.
I Jimmy's dad's dropping them off because he's see him walk.
It's like under a trash bag.
I just remember thinking like I put that on the table
and I play with my spaceships with it, flying around Jupiter around Jupiter never I don't even know if I ever made one
I think I had like three planets or something. I vaguely remember some argument same thing
Wait until the last minute to do it get a screen that is Ralph Wiggum dude
covered in paste
Eating Saturn it's an apple.
What are you gonna do?
Well, if we were that guy, we wouldn't be us now.
We'd be a fucking-
True.
We'd be an accountant or something somewhere,
you know what I mean?
I'm the kind of guy whose dad lights
sigs off a soldering torch.
That's who I am.
That's what I care about.
All right, this one's from Ryan,
$10 homeyy never had one read
Are you garb's if you met your husband on a radio station?
Dating show and married him and divorced him two times the second time was when he was in jail. Whoa
damn I
Always thought those radio dating shows were made up. What happened at Doobie Brothers tickets?
I
Always thought all that radio stuff was like produced a lot of that was though like all that wore the roses
Or the roses. Yeah, I remember that were the roses. It's a national
I mean, it's like they call if like the husband thinks if the wife thinks the husband's cheating on him on her
She calls into the radio station and they do war of the roses
It's called and so the the radio show will call set him up. Yeah, and they go
Hey, this is so and so from fucking tri-state roses. You've won a free thing of roses
Who do you want to send them? I feel like you've told me this before. Yeah, that's pretty good
I don't remember that I think
Comics do it used to do it as a gig. I remember the pranks of
Sock you just got got by the stooge and the weaves.
I remember the wife or the husband pranking the other one at work.
I remember those. I don't remember that.
I think there were a lot of them were set up. I think.
Now knowing what you know about showbiz, don't you think it'd be produced?
Sure.
Like let's just get, we'll give two people 25 bucks for 10 minutes of their time.
Toby's British.
And that.
And that.
It's alright. Ten minutes of their time Toby's British In it and that's all right
Yeah, that's a no
Anything radio was never good ever I feel what do you mean? I loved it calling in
I'm saying calling in going to the concert. It was not the classiest behavior
I love that stuff what get some of that going
Calling some type of contest for some tickets or something like that have you know
But I used to enjoy listening to it. Yeah
Listening to it. I'm saying doing it. Oh, yeah, yes trashy short
I was in jail that doesn't mean anything
I'm gonna fucking set a white-collar crime for all I know gang this episode is brought to you by better help
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slash garbage. Do it. Do it. Uh, this one's just funny. $10 homie. Yo mama is it garbage
to eat a daily donut with your daily multivitamins? The pills are big and I don't want heartburn
that's great donuts give me super heartburn they don't fill me I'm more
of a car man I need to I need a big that is a carb that's more sugary that's a
carbohydrate a donut it's all not saying it's not it's not it's not a bag well
do you protein donuts that's not a bagel protein donuts. That's not a bagel. I'll tell you that much
I need a real I need a nice base to start the day
Donuts dissolve into thin air they really do you put them in your mouth and they just fucking they disappear
You know what I mean could never have just one donut. I know me too every time I have made six I puke yeah
Crispy cream when they hit man those glaze good night
Krispy Kreme when they hit, man, those glaze, good night. Thick, dense, and wait to them.
I love watching them make donuts and bagels,
like on like TV shows or whatever.
When they flip them?
Oh, that flip is, when they come out,
they come out of like a big belt and
dump into the water.
The bagel ovens that are the shelves that rotate.
I always feel like when they glazed them,
or like when you see the videos of like,
when they're making like candy
Like they're wasting so much chocolate thought of the I saw it's gotta go back into something it was uh
We were talking about it Peter Pan doughnuts
Yes, right that guy was making on the Sun's make I saw the Sun is taking over or whatever you're ever in Brooklyn
Do yourself a favor Sam talent brought us some
Yes, he did and they were I guess that's we were whatever we were talking about it
I saw the video and the amount of glaze they were using like that's just going right down the drain
I think it probably funnels back into a it looked like it was hard and like it's like yeah
You got to hit that at the right time. That's like a man. It's like trying to thread the needle the price of doing business
Dude I gotta get off the internet when I hear glaze glaze I don't even think like glaze on a donut I just think
of people like over complimenting people online where they're like oh you're
glazing him I don't even know what that means I thought you're gonna go for
anography I thought you meant pottery well that's what the inference is got
you oh you're really glazing them yeah. They're blowing him. Yeah. Gotcha. I like that. Man.
Something my algorithm changed. I get hot chicks doing pottery now. You seen those videos? No. They ain't.
Is that an ashtray? No, they're all
talking about Seth Rogen. They're all pencil holders if you catch my drift everything everything they're making
Something erotic it's girls and with no bras. I'm like, you know what you're doing making vases ghost
Yeah, I think that might have been my first hard on Steve
Swayze got you way before blue. Chose the original BC baby. Oh
Young to me more than a young Patrick Swayze. Man, I fucking love Swayze.
He was all right, dude.
The coolest ever.
He could do it all.
Got me to jump out of an airplane, that guy.
Said he did that shit all on his own.
Yes.
Filmed it after.
Yes.
Because they wouldn't let him do it.
Yes.
Crazy.
The instructor said he's never seen someone so natural in the
air.
He would be like a Tom Cruise if he would have lived, right?
He would have been Patrick Swayze.
True, but he would be operating on the cruise level.
He would be doing major vehicles with crazy stunts
with him actually doing them.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
He was also a song and dance man,
which made him even more of a threat.
Talk about glaze, huh?
Whew. Man. and dance man which would made him even more of a threat. Talk about glaze huh? Whew man.
He said we get some pottery and get out of here you know boys.
What was the movie?
The dancing movie?
Dirty Dancing.
Yeah man he was something else in that.
Hatchi matchi from the wrong side of the tracks.
Know what I'm saying?
Sure he wasn't checking IDs.
No.
He throat you know Roadhouse
All right this one's from t-bone army grunt. I don't get it. I like it. He's a grunt in the t-bone army gotcha
Okay, a private if you will okay, are you soldier? Which is the only rankings we have?
Okay. Foot soldier.
Which is the only rankings we have.
So we're for the common man.
Over here T-bone army.
There is no hierarchy, except me.
Are you ready for the chillest war of all time?
Uniform.
You wearing it, bro?
Boy, you better grow that hair out.
Soldier, where's your mustache?
Drop and give me 50 milligrams. Are you garbage if you graduated in 2016, but your high school
basketball team still ran out to jump by Van Halen because
they never bought a new tape.
Nice.
That's 2016 coming out to Van Halen is crazy.
That's as a hit. That's what it was. That's 30 years
Right. I'm 1984 was the album that it was on
Yeah, so jump was on the album 1984. I don't know if it came out in 84. Can you get a year on jump by Van Halen?
It was either it was either 83 84. It's got I mean if you're naming an album 1984 it comes out 87
I don't know. This guy broke the rules sure
I don't know, this guy broke the rules. Sure.
1983?
Yeah. Makes sense.
I had that, it was an angel, it was a baby angel
smoking a heater on the cover.
Oh man.
It was noish.
And he was like looking back that way.
Baby smoking heaters is pretty cool.
That had Panama on it, Jump.
I never liked, they were too...
A lot of Corvettes got crashed to that record
Yeah, dude. There you go. You want to talk about Corvettes. How you doing?
Yeah, I never it was
Never edgy enough for what Eddie Van Halen was slaying. How was that not edgy?
I mean, he's a great guitar player. I mean, Panama has one of the... WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH to Black Sabbath. I think it was right there.
Are you talking about 70s Black Sabbath or 80s Black Sabbath?
70 war pigs.
I'll give you that. You got it.
You got to think I'm not experiencing this as it's coming out.
I'm looking back and going like fucking war pigs or jump.
Ye as a rebellious as far as as far as hardness.
Yeah, edginess. I'll give you that. Oh
That's Ozzy Osborne's spirit Halloween shit
No, not that not then war pigs
Yeah, that that black that shit was hard as fuck nuts and ahead of its time to be very very much so ahead of its time
Yeah, was it I love the Sabbath don't get me wrong, but they're not hard
It's crazy with like a band like that you listen to and you're like...
There was mystery to Warpigs.
Those guys were scary.
As a 12 year old who's learning rock music, Jump by Van Halen or Warpigs?
I'll give them that.
I'm not even up for debate.
There was an edge of danger of the band.
Of scare. Like, I heard they did this
I had not like they're not running around in tights with their wieners
Nice weeners that they were
Just saying I'll give you that it's true. I was in my head. I was thinking Panama
What do you mean? I wasn't thinking jump jumps a little cheese. No
Stop getting crazy jump is not cheesy Panama nice. Easy jumps cheese. No, it was a dead end and it's not getting crazy jump is not cheesy pantomime. I'm just jumps cheese. No, it's not stick
One of those one of those slits dressed up as ladies around the state looks like an aerobic
What the fuck are we doing? How dare you listen? I see what you're saying? That's all
I'm not start getting crazy. They were cheesy. No, they weren't.
I'm not saying they were bad. Eddie Van Halen coming here.
Those guys got laid. And melt someone's face.
I believe he's a Bucks County resident as of now.
Eddie Van Halen. He passed away.
Oh, he was. A couple years ago.
Rest in peace, Big E. RIP.
Meow! One of the goats.
Didn't use a pedal.
Really? Did that all on the guitar. He would turn the amp up so much and he had so much
control over the guitar that he could just like make that sound.
What I believe, I believe that's the case. But a lot of mystery
behind that. To go back to your point. What was it? Black Sabbath,
even Pink Floyd. There was older kids that smoked heaters on the bus when I was in seventh and eighth grade that
would wear Pink Floyd t-shirts. And this is before I heard Pink
Floyd and start listening to I was in high school. Yes. And I
remember being, you know, those black t-shirts, they were faded.
You weren't afraid of guys listening to Van Halen. You
were afraid of guys listening to Pink Floyd. I was petrified of
a guy in a Pink Floyd. I didn't know what it was. There's
something edgy about it. But then something listen to it and you're like Jesus Christ, this is
Unbelievable complicated beautiful music pink Floyd. You don't like Floyd Jesus Christ. Hey relax. Will you a billboard?
Cream magazine over here creaming in your pants
Yeah, so that's what I'm saying.
I'm not just-
I'll give you a heads up to your props to your boys.
How about fucking Limp Bizkit rocking that show
not that long ago?
Oh yeah.
Woo!
They rock.
I mean, they were corny,
but they knew how to work a goddamn crowd.
Had to play, this was like a couple of weeks ago.
They seem like they're having the time of their lives.
They're having fun.
They're out there having fun.
They've weathered the storm of being d their lives. They're out there having fun.
They've weathered the storm of being dorks or nerdy and all the bad.
When were they dorks or nerdy?
That was, I think from...
They really leaned in.
I thought that was like your Nirvana, your generation.
No, I think when they came, it did get...
They were mostly rock-ish with like a little hip hop influence and then he went
more hip hop. There was a bad part of music in the early 2000s where that hip hop rock
kind of blended and not in the best way. Sure, I gotcha. You know what I mean? My buddy went
and saw them maybe two years ago, two, three years ago and he called me at like one o'clock
in the morning, like four or five of our boys all went and he was like he was like dude I had to call you I want you know we went to the show as a joke and
it was legitimately one of the greatest performances I've ever seen in my life.
Those guys kill it. Yeah he was like it was unreal it was so fun. I think the genre jumped a little bit with
like that like crazy town like all that stuff got real kind of... Butterfly? Cheesy.
Shout out to Swifty, I think that was...
Oh my god.
Fred, come on the show!
Hit us up!
How fun would he be?
Oh, I love Fred.
That was one of the first albums I...
What was that?
$3 bill, y'all?
$3 bill or $2 bill?
$3 bill, y'all?
First album I went with my dad.
That was when Faith dropped.
That's what popped on their remix of Faith.
Yeah, we get West Borland on here. Just sit silently weird everybody out
That guy scared me. That was scary. Yeah
Yeah, he knew how to fucking work a camera to freak to freak me out
I did not listen to that music by myself. I made sure I was in a well-lit room with a couple of buddies and a pair
well-lit room with a couple of buddies and a Paranormal
hey pussy
they he be he be
that's what you need that's why I love them
yeah that Van Halen wasn't scared
me
that's all right that's funny as shit
um all right let's see here
yeah that was a that was a very that was a very big discord of 80s, 70s, 90s music.
The Head Shop? That come from the Head Shop question?
How did we get there?
Oh, the radio station.
The radio station. Yeah.
Gotcha. Okay, look at that.
And yeah, that's trash.
Is it garbage to live on a golf course?
Disgolf course, that is.
My father-in-law bought a summer camp
and the first tee is partly in my new driveway.
That's a lot to unpack.
But you're living on a,
imagine buying a summer camp?
And like making it your home?
If you just have the,
the way I pictured it's an old summer camp.
And you bought the land.
And you bought the land
and it's still got the
huts and the cafeteria the mass murderer. Yeah, I wouldn't like
that. That would creep me out. West Borland coming again.
Slipknot off in the distance.
Yeah, I don't know if I dig that. That would be fun though.
They did that. I'm always weary of those. What? Because you
worry about what happened there, somebody got got, murders.
Or maybe they just went out of business, or the guy, you know, the guy retired and his son didn't want to take over the family summer camp.
I don't know.
That would be, I'm saying if you went out with a crew, I wouldn't want to live there by myself.
No.
But if you went with like a crew of like 20, 30 fucking...
The old greenskeeper walking around with it.
Oh, he was murdered 10 years ago.
What? Yeah, no.
I had beers with him last time.
Playing Tommy's like a nice old guy.
Uh, yeah, I wouldn't.
Yeah, I don't know. I don't like any of that stuff.
I'm just saying it would be fun to like if you and the boys,
if that was like a weekend away, it was like a summer camp type thing.
You had a lake with some canoes there was a kit you'd
Like a communal style of cafeteria for food. I would live in an old mall
I would buy an old mall make that my house. I'd be cool with that. Mm-hmm
Nothing scary about a mall dawn of the dead
What do you mean?
Malls are very scary at night dawn of the dead is I didn't see the film really zombies
Dawn of the Dead. I didn't see the film.
Really?
Zombies?
Is that Simon Pegg?
Yeah.
No, that was Shaun of the Dead.
Okay.
And then there was the original George A. Romero,
Dawn of the Dead from the 80s.
And then it was remade by Jack Snyder,
his only good movie in the early 2000s.
It's awesome.
Okay.
All right.
Very critic-y this episode.
I like it.
I just watched a,
I've never watched a Mr. Beast video.
That guy's great. He's the yeah
I mean, I always liked them. Hey, thanks for checking in cue ball
Maybe the last human being on earth to see what this video. I know it's like you and my mom
Watch it together
No, I actually like watch obviously knew what he was doing the guys doing nice things. Have you seen this Patrick Mahomes?
No, he's a really good football player. I can't believe you just said that I like his brother dancing more
No, I watched the whole video I scammed but watched a good amount of it
You say you want to live in it. He bought a supermarket and made a guy live in it. That's awesome
He's the leader of our industry.
He gave him $10,000 a day every day.
How long did he make it?
Almost 50 days.
So that's 500 grand.
Yeah.
Woo!
But he had to turn around to get the $10,000.
He had to take $10,000 of merchandise out of the store.
So he had to...
So like it's a fully stocked supermarket.
But in order to get to $10,000 cash,
he's got to give $10,000 in groceries.
Oh, give it to people like charity?
Well, he's got to give it to Mr. Beast,
and he turned around and gave it to everybody.
That dude's awesome.
But it was like the strategy of like,
okay, well, I don't need a grill.
Like, what do I need?
So then you start, you're like,
well, the produce is going bad.
That kind of thing.
That's pretty good.
10 G's is a lot of the grocery store.
Unless you're me.
Caught on late afternoon snake.
Staying there for three years.
Yeah. How long could you go live in a grocery store?
Oh, man.
Um, it's funny you mention that.
What gets you?
Obviously, the jokes are, you know,
I think you'd eat all the food in about 48 hours, but...
Well, here's the thing, I was thinking...
You go crazy. You're stuck in the same place for 50 days. You go nuts.
I was thinking about this this morning actually,
because we had gone to Trader Joe's Sunday or whatever,
I can't remember, a couple days ago,
because we were in the city and we needed some stuff for dinner and breakfast all that stuff
I took a nap in the frozen food aisle woke up. I was like I could live here
Well, that's the thing. It's what grocery store would you want to be trapped in and
Trader joe's
Is pretty up there for me?
Because they're just like the stuff that they have is so good all their stuff is good,
but they put stuff together well. I'm not sorry to cut you off. Not a Trader Joe's guy per se,
but don't they only have really Trader Joe's stuff? They do, but they're can you get their
creative department of like their I don't even know how to like, but you're a man of you're a man
of routine and things you like, you're're not gonna be able to have your Dorito
I'm making a Dorito, but like you're missing out on all your normal brands
What I'm saying is Trader Joe's is the one place where I can do that like they make these little they make these pizzas that aren't
Pizzas they're like like I'm listening galets or something like that
They're called and it's like more of a pastry crust and they have like bacon and
And it's like more of a pastry crust and they have like bacon and onions and stuff like that They're unbelievable their frozen food section is pretty unbeatable
It's it's very good, but here's where here's where you're going wrong Hank
The average Whole Foods has a very small footprint small store the frozen fruit sections
Maybe one aisle you need like a what you you don't want to go Whole Foods because it's too fancy
He's not a variety Whole Foods is whack. You got to go somewhere like a Wegmans
I'm with you on that or even I would say like a shop, right?
I think you go shop right or act me. I think you get more longevity out of it
Yeah, you would because you could there's more there's more shelf stable products in there like a lot of snacks
You could what I would do I would I would make all my money on the alcohol. You get rid of all that shit.
Yeah, but not all of them have alcohol.
That's state to state.
Yeah, if you're going, you can get $10,000 a day
at Boozy's.
I saw in LA.
I wasn't talking about that.
I was just talking about if I was stuck in a grocery store,
which grocery store would I want to be stuck in?
I know the exact one.
For 50 days?
I know the exact one.
For whatever.
I know the exact one.
The apocalypse happens.
I think it's too small, thoseader Joe's I was I wasn't
Married to it. I just I'm just fucking it started spinning. It started spinning in my mind this morning
Nothing about the mr. Beast of the car. I would go I would go shop, right?
I'd go something I'd go a middle a middle thing that has some of the higher-end nicer stuff and also a lot of Mike
I'm at my comforts and I think what the answer to that is
Currently if I'm not mistaken right now the industry leader is a Wegmans
That's a little too fancy I think for the for the other the industry leader in fancy nice things
I think they would have the biggest the best the most highest technology ones. I don't even think they have everything
That like you would like. Oh, Wegmans?
They're a little more...
No.
I think.
That's a blue collar grocery store with a nice vibe to it.
Unless I'm wrong, which I could be, but they're fancy.
No, no, no.
They straddle the line in a real nice way.
Yeah, they straddle the line.
You can get your Doritos, your sugar cereals and such,
but then a nice like in-house
queso that they make. I don't like that.
I'd still go, I wouldn't feel comfortable. I'd feel like I'm a...
You want to be in an Acme from 83.
Yeah, I know the exact Acme I want to be in that I grew up going to. The Acme.
Just give me one deli guy, I'll be alright.
I need a deli guy, or at least show me how to turn a slicer on. They got a Starbucks, they do sell some booze, they got nice high...
You would never be able to figure out that coffee machine.
I want a deli guy and I want a cashier with an attitude.
I got nothing but time!
That thing's gonna be broken in 45 minutes.
They got a Coinstar if I get jammed up on cash.
Cracking into that thing. I could get liquid real quick.
They got heaters.
They have a bank.
Most, a lot of them have a bank.
A lot of them have a bank.
Got some cash.
Got scratchers.
Oh, that'd be fun.
Even though you can't win anything.
Can't cash them in, but hey,
for the love of the game, baby.
Sure, yeah.
I will say this about Trader Joe's.
It's the one grocery store no one should ever steal from.
No. All the employees got that blade on them
Where they do they all got the yeah, I thought that it's so cheap and out of I fuck Trader Joe's
I love Trader Joe's I like the people that work there to the real great Hawaiian shirts good. I know what they're doing
They really care it seems they don't care
Plus I've said this before there you they make a
chocolate covered caramel that is just
man
Unbelievable quality place sure all right we got time for one more and then we got our wrapper up here gang
This one. I'm not even
This is from FN photography
This is just weird is it garbage if your father-in-. Is it garbage if your father-in-law,
is it garbage for your father-in-law
to message the Airbnb host you paid for
without telling you so he can show up early
and get the best bedroom?
Jesus.
That's just-
Who's this, father-in-law?
Yeah.
Yeah, I hate that.
You can't, you're an,
I mean, that's a trash, that's a,
that's a skeezer move.
From my- But also, like, don't you tend to, I don't know, if I was checking in with my, That's a trash. That's a that's a skeezer move from my.
But also, like, don't you tend to?
I don't know if I was checking in with my let's say my in-law, like, say
I bought a place in my fat whatever.
I'm having family come over.
I got a place.
We're all going to fucking Long Island or something.
OK, down the shore. Right.
You can stop by for tonight.
We're out of a ball. You can come by. Me. Yeah.
Thanks, pal.
Um, I'll stop at Trader Joe's before I get there and
If I got if I paid for the place I would defer to
The guest and elders to be like where you you know, what room do you guys want? Sure? That's what I would I feel like that's what I would do this unless this guy's oh, this guy might be a real prick
Well, here's what I want to say
From how my dad and uncles operated growing up
They would always call out a dude like that
You know what I mean? Oh sure and there was never there was never one of my inner circle
But there would always be somebody on the fringes like, you know, I don't know
You know, you gotta get down there before for the O'Malley's get there
Ron will take the you know, the good bedroom and all that.
And meanwhile, he's the guy that disappears when the check comes at dinner.
Sure.
It's that same kind of guy.
I agree.
There's just one of them usually floating around.
I don't like those kinds of older dudes.
Our, uh, our family is very, my family is very big in any sort of that behavior.
It doesn't get called out right away.
No, you talk shit about them on the way home.
No, everybody will notice it and then at some point probably three four beers in
Someone makes a real so everybody's aware like you picking up a check on day. Yeah, no, but it's never to him
It'd be like that. That's a lot like fully not taking the last Snickers bar. So, you know what I mean?
It's like a real offhanded side comment that fucking it's a one-two
It didn't happen by the way there was no snickers bars to begin with I did see a snickers bar in
Ireland though who had a Snickies I did I had two Snickies Snickies two Snickies over there for you
Yeah, thanks, but we got to wrap it up gang. What a fun one. Yes gang
We love you to death shot out Van Halen shout out to Van Halen shout out to limp biscuits
Shut up the new mr. Beast. Huh? Yeah, just discovering stuff now. I still do that to me
Guys supposed to be a leader to back supposed to have his finger on the pulse. I'm mr. Beast. What are you nuts?
I've got candy bars and burgers
Come to the live show gang. We love you out there on the road. We'll see you next week. Thanks