Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - The Barnacle w/ Kippy & Foley
Episode Date: April 18, 2024Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live ...show! Through the Roof Tour Tickets: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Helix Sleep: https://www.helixsleep.com/Garbage Promo Code: Helixpartner20 Mint Mobile: https://www.MintMobile.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Bocce Balls gang, the tour is upon us.
Uh-huh.
This weekend, we're going to be in Tampa, Florida,
and we're going to be in Atlanta, Georgia.
Yeah, April 19th and April 20th.
Tickets are available at areugarbage.com.
The live show is stand up and a mix of A-Y-G.
Me and the big man each do stand up,
and then we answer your garbage questions.
You've seen the clips.
You know it's a good time.
Get the homies, get the bozos, and let's party.
See you there.
Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage?
the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or
absolute trash
Now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley
Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is R U Garbage.
Oh yeah.
It's a little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that they're good to be classy.
Yeah.
They're just a big old piece of trash.
Trash, trash, trash.
I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here at Tooties in a new edition on a beautiful spring day.
You ain't lying.
She's upstairs making a little ramen.
Okay.
Slow day for the broad.
She's having a little lunch.
She can't have lunch.
Even celebrities are just like us.
Just like us.
She's doing a little ramen.
Does two packs.
A little hot for ramen.
One pack of seasoning.
She likes it cold.
Okay.
She puts it in the freezer and freezes it.
Okay.
What are you grilling me for?
I'm not.
I'm just. Talk to her. Odd choice for the first nice day of the season 40 feet away
Hot bowl of ramen my co-host is coming at you from across the table suspicious this week
He is the CEO of are you garbage?
She is an international businessman, and he's my best pal in the whole wide world give it up for KJ
Kevin James, right what up gang? Thanks for tuning in got a little trust got the geese today. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan. What up gang, thanks for tuning in.
Circle of trust.
Got the gigies today.
What up gang, thanks for tuning in as always.
Please make sure you're raving,
you subscribe on iTunes, full video available on YouTube.
As you know, those numbers are
Truin' around.
Cookin'.
Cookin'.
And then obviously the greatest website of all time,
www.patreon.com slash RUgarbage.
I just got new numbers in,
up to three bajillion hours of content over there. I don't know where they're keeping it all,
but goddamn. It's a lot of servers. Yes, sir. Man. How about a nice shout out to
our producer extraordinaire, the magic man makes us all look good, works the
ones, the twos, the threes and the fours. He crosses the T's and he dots the
I's and he's no stranger to a little doobie, if you know what I mean. Give it
up for T-Bone McScruffins, Tobyullen. What up boys? What up T-Bone?
Sup Sparky? Sunshine and beautiful spring day. I got a question for you fellas.
Please. Hit me. Are we all too old for shorts now? And what kind of shorts do you even wear anymore?
What do you mean? No, you're not. Shorts are back in a big way. You gotta go above the knee I would say.
I'm down for above the knee, but I feel like my days of the cutoff jeans shorts are they gotta be behind me. Why is that?
I don't know man. I don't disagree with this you get to a point
He's in a weird way where he can't wear if he wears khaki shorts like I would wear khaki shorts
What khaki shorts like higher? You know higher above-the-knee khaki shorts, okay?
What a little good he'd be like it'd be like you're gonna make funny in class who gives a shit know, higher above the knee khaki shorts. Okay. What do I look good?
He'd be like, he'd be like, you're you're going to make funny
in class.
Who gives a shit?
No, you guys will make fun of me.
Right to my face.
Of course.
That's part of it.
That's part of that's part of the contract.
Yeah, I don't know what to tell you.
I'm going to pull our permits.
You might still as you're what 33 34 34.
You're kind of still in that little grace period. I guess maybe you too not grace period
That 40 and balls that he's talking. Okay, you're right. You're out. You're not 40. I mean, I'm not I'm not 31
You look 40 is on the bad side of 35. My eyes are falling out of my head
The good thing about getting older and being gross
Right like me is I can do whatever the fuck I want. I can wear a Reeboks, I can
wear dad shorts, I can wear fucking...
But like we see him in basketball shorts, it doesn't look right. It looks like he shit
his pants in junior high and that's what the nurse gave him. You know what I mean? That
was in the Lost and Found. It doesn't look normal. He's got like high...
Hey, Mr. McMullen, he did it again.
He's got like dress socks on with air walks and basketball shorts.
It looks,
You got to stop with the cream corn at dinner. He's killing us.
Man. Yeah. No, I understand.
And I went out and bought some adult shorts last year.
I say live your life. Those sport shorts are nice.
The ones that kind of look like bathing suits.
Yeah, I don't. I'm not good in them either. And they're stretchy. I don't give a shit.
I just got a pair of. I'm gonna start wearing a bathing suit all the time anyway, so I don't
really care. Look at you, you escaped from a mental institution. You got a shirt on and
floaties. That red one, you know the red bathing suit that I have? Yeah, the only bathing suit
you have. I have another one. I haven't broken out yet. I'm still gonna lose 40 pounds to get that one out.
Yeah I might just start wearing that all the time. Just get a pair of shorts.
You got 30 bucks get a pair of shorts. I guess. Yeah but you could pull off a nice
cargo. I could never. Sure. Because I'm fat and old and no one expects anything
of you. I don't have to stay in fashion. I could really see you in high school
pulling a full CD case out of your cargo shorts.
Got a 64 book.
I never wore shorts in high school.
What am I, a fucking loser?
What are you, nuts?
Had a fucking rep top keep.
Really?
Shorts in high school were no good for you?
Faded jeans, pair of Timberlakes.
But even at the end of the year, like a pair of shorts?
You would shoot.
Well, cargo shorts were hot when I was a kid.
You would transition over into tight jean cutoff
shorts in the summer.
But you had to wear that pair all throughout the year
and never wash them and not give a shit so you look cool.
Or you could do lacrosse shorts with the boxers underneath,
but the boxers had to hang down a little bit.
I was going to say, but you were doing 80s style,
though. Were you showing pocket? Yeah, I was gonna say those are the rules you were doing you were doing 80s style though were you showing pocket?
Yeah, I was showing pocket. That's why I tight little body back there. Oh, Pichay and party your clam apparently
Jesus Christ shocking oysters over here. Are you good Lord? Let the boys know?
Hey, buddy
There's fully he's loose condom tucked into my cigarette pack
Staying out of trouble boy
Somehow as a real always finds me fucking Babs from Seinfeld
I
Got something here
What there's new as you know we're a couple of scuffle walls, right?
We're we're drivers in New York City.
I've been clean.
I haven't been riding dirty at all.
I got no tech.
You got a garage now, but there's a lot we we've had our battles with my nose.
I've been booted.
I've been towed.
My car has been stolen.
I've had hundreds of hundreds upon hundreds of parking tickets in my day
The only reason you don't have any tickets is because you've got six inches of dust on that car
I had to get out of the life
It was getting ugly
Man, I freaked out all that shit was brutal looking for parking deal. I parked the whole thing and as you know
New York is is cracking down.
And I don't know if you saw there because people get boots on their car
and fucking they just drive through it.
They go, I ain't paying you the fucking money.
You ain't telling it. They drive away and break it off.
Now, the new thing that they've they that doesn't work, it ruins your car.
Whatever the new thing they have is called the barnacle.
It goes on your windshield so you can't drive away.
That's like Robocop shit.
That's fucked up, too.
They just got you.
You got to have if they do that to you, you got to have a really good
passenger that you're bonded with.
Yeah, actually.
Break, break, break, break, break, break, break.
That makes it easier.
You could just do a fucking Ace Ventura out the window. You
gotta have good core strength to pull that off the whole time. Or you just do
what Kibbe says, you rally drive it. Yeah. That's your boy, soft left, soft left. Go go go.
School zone, school zone. Or fuck him, have Safe Flight show up and take the
windshield off. Or you could just smash the windshield. What's a windshield? See if you can get a
price on a windshield. Probably probably you can probably get a real
cheap 300 bucks I say you get a windshield think safe late would do that
they play ball couple of those guys show up what do you mean I'm not even saying
safe light I would just smash it 250 bucks for a fucking new windshield later
and that's through safe like that's named brand you're paying for marketing
and shit but that's gotta be it's gotta be less to get the barnacle off. No, no, no, no.
You owe like a G.
They only barnacle you if you get.
Is that what it's called, by the way?
That's what they're the NYPD barnacle.
They're calling it. What a horrible marketing department down there.
Must be the same guys that came up with that dance team.
We're going to put muscles on your car.
One hundred and eighty five bucks to get it off.
To get it off.
Have someone come out and get it off to. Yeah. I saw I I saw, I saw, but no, that's. But that's not your fee. That's after you pay the fines and fees.
So your fines, that's what I'm saying, your fines could be, like I got, mine cost me well over a thousand dollars to get it out.
That I didn't, I had to borrow the money from a friend. So it's like, it's a thousand dollars or I could smash my windshield.
They charge you for the barnacle though
What's that like geez yeah, probably if you if you don't return it or whatever
Just take it to a hospital and put it in the front and pull away like you do like it blows like a gunshot victim
Yeah, I saw a note though
I saw a video about this on ways to remove it you turn your
Windshield like the the defroster,
you blast that, heats it up,
and then hopefully can create an air pocket
and then you get in there with a credit card.
But it's like a real bitch.
I mean, those things are like-
What is it, sticky?
Yeah, it's like suction.
It's like key, like, like, like.
They have giant Spider-Man suction cups.
You can climb a building with these things.
It's just on there, dude.
You gotta be able to get that off.
If I'm smashing my windshield and just paying 250
for a new windshield, out the door, how you doing?
I know Dr. Rubenoff's got an auto blast guy.
He'll tune you up right quick.
Or just pay the fines and move on with your life.
Fuck him. Yeah, fuck that.
I'm gonna have to pry this money out of my cold dead hands.
You want your fucking bar to go back?
I gotta pay EZPass, which it doesn't make any fucking sense.
I gotta pay EZPass by April 28th
or they're suspending my registration.
Cheat, your registration?
Yeah.
Why?
The state of New York.
Because I owe money to EZPass, but I have EZPass.
And they have my credit card information.
So I don't understand how, um, if I owe a money bill me, what, and what?
I only owe you money for, I'm not like going to the gift shop and
buying EasyPay shit.
I only owe you for the tolls.
You killed somebody.
Didn't you?
They got you something.
That ain't good.
They got, they got the fucking jump on the kid.
Your registration.
Yeah, that doesn't sound to be something. I forget
I'm telling you that now I ain't good with paperwork. You get snag going through the tunnel right well documented not good with paperwork
Bad news
Yeah, but that's neither here nor there gang
We got a gosh darn family episode yes
We do as you know when you sign up for the patreon where there's up to three bajillion hours of content
You'll get your question read on the end
And that being said let's get into it this one
I can't believe this hasn't come across our desk in the past whatever three and a half four years
It's been talk to me. This is from Kyle ten dollar bozo long time listener
Are you garbage if you use cheese? It's as croutons in a salad. Ooh
Don't hate it.
I feel like I might have come across that once or twice.
Really?
Yeah.
In the wild, you're saying?
No, I think I did it.
That salad has ranch dressing, hella bacon bits,
not made from bacon, hard-boiled eggs, and wet ham.
No, I used to do saltines.
I'm sorry.
I can get down with that, too. When I was in North North Carolina up against it, I used to get bags of salad. You know, the salad that had like a little bit of carrot and a little bit of purple. I hate that. hate that stuff. You know what I'm talking about? Oh, man, it's like a goddamn rainfall. It's wet in there. I get that. Soggy soggy carrots red balsamic vinegar oil bunch
of fucking crisp saltines and Parmesan shake cheese like the cheap I'll give
you that it made it work mm-hmm sometimes I crave that sure yeah I
remember one time I was really down and out in Philly real down and out and I
made what I had white rice and barbecue sauce and for some reason man
I think about that bowl. I go back to that of not having to send rice to right
Not having a care in the world, baby
Just go because I remember being so broke and looking at my thing being like I got nothing and at that bowl meant so much
To me it though. There was just pure you can't tell me shit
He used my cell phone was shut off. I was behind on rent
You used to love your dinners when you come home from work in the Titan house
Whip up a little butter noodles. Oh
Nothing get a little fucking people's court in
God before we head off into the night
I swear to God before we head off into the night
He'd hide come home from work. He had been there all day. Just just hanging no shirt on what's all what are you doing? Huh? How was work?
You got smokes on you number one question waiting for him to come home
You got smokes and you had to wait till after he ate. Oh
Yeah
You be very hurtful when he's hungry.
Kimmy gets a little hangry.
It's real tight with the cigs.
This kid has snickers.
Oh, he's been he's been fucking loafing around my house all day.
I come home and I'm on his schedule.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I cleaned up.
Your mess.
Cheez-its, that's nice, though. But they could it gives you a little bit of cheese. It's that's nice though. But they
because it gives you a little bit of cheese. They got a
listen. They got a little deeper. I'd want to crunch them
up. Yeah, I think you'd have to break them up at least half
piece. Now hear me out on this cheese. It's in like a like a
chowder or something like that. Instead of the uh I'm with it.
The oyster crackers are the regular crackers. Yeah, I can
get down with that. I like an oyster cracker. Yeah, they're good.
They have the perfect amount of salt on them.
It's like three or four grains of salt perfectly positioned.
Same thing with the cheese.
They do a real good job with the salt placement.
I mean, cheese, it has to be.
I it's the way it's what it's.
It's my fave. I hands down my fave salads are big these days to their chopping them up
I want you chopping them up. I mean you were I I do have to give it to you
You said that you everything should be chopped up and now a lot of stuff is being chopped up
See you said that in the old studio. I did yeah the sandwiches you are as fat as you look I give you that
I'm an innovator, a time traveler.
But yeah, I'm with six months. That's that's trashy.
That is trashy, but.
Hey, I got I got to give it to you.
Do it nuts.
I live once, baby.
Here for a good time, not a long time.
Let's go. This one's from Jake.
Ten dollar shareholder.
Is it garbage to call half and half 50-50
as in A-O past the 50-50?
That's pretty good.
The 50-50.
That sounds like oil.
I'm gonna start calling cream five-oh though.
Pass me the five-oh.
That's good.
I thought half and half was trashy.
That's the name.
Who did I ask for half and half and they didn't know?
Ireland.
Oh, yeah.
And that became a thing.
Two mean people staring each other down.
You asking for half and half and then it's you inside of an embassy with a crowd of angry
locals screaming.
Fellas, I'll do milk.
What is half and half?
Half cream, half milk?
Half cream, half milk, dog. Whoa, never thought of that. Oh, great on cereal.
I'll tell you that. I've said it before. I'll say it again. We were only, I don't think we ever had,
we were a half, we were a wah-wah half and half. Sure, always half and half. Still.
No one does cream. Nah, Niecy's a half, I gotta run to the store and get half and half.
Sure, a little banger of it. Little banger of half and half. Yeah, and if you had no milk, man,
that would hit the spot in the bowl of cereal. which I don't know how much worse it is for you than milk
You give that a goog what cream have cream. I mean, yeah cream is fattier than
50% more fattier is it oh
Then milk it's higher in fat below or in sugar
Oh, well half an effort cream half and half
Oh, there you go look at that lower your sugar
use half and half
That is playback of all time
Way to go
5050 it sounds like a raffle it does that's what I thought it was to be was referencing at first
But that's pretty good. Hey yo past. I didn't understand it does that's what I thought it was so he was referencing at first, but that's pretty good
Hey, yo past. I didn't understand it told that hey, yo past the heathen
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Are you garbage if your mother's second marriage was in your living room?
It was by the sliding door and officiated by my step-grandpa
Or my step-grandma PS. It was my step grandpa or my step grandma PS it
was my stepdad's third marriage I think you gotta the way I look at that that's
also hey have your fun you're living in this mess you're you're okay with
getting signing up and getting divorced hey you're in it she's using jeans but
still has the tiara
Dressed like she's on a bachelorette party or something half a Burger King uniform talk about half of them
I think that's appropriate. I think that's a responsible decision for a third marriage
Why you know you can only have probably ten people there? Why drag everybody into it?
Why bring a bunch of people out when they know it ain't gonna work out do it in the living room sure let's get back to work you're doing it on break right there the dominoes will
be here in ten minutes grandma just head right in the kitchen right to that
sliding door make some dinner mm-hmm that's it yeah get a good night's sleep
and we're back at it sureenty of promises been broken that living room. What's one more? What's one more lie to tell the kids?
The TV was on while they were doing it.
It was muted.
They respect for the Lord.
We put Judge Judy on mute.
Goddamn game on Earl.
Yeah. All right.
Listen, this one's from Chris.
What did your what did your dad's claim their sports accolades were?
My dad once told me that during his eighth grade football season, Chris, what did your dad's claim their sports accolades were?
My dad once told me that during his eighth grade football season, he got tackled a total
of zero times and scored 63 touchdowns in five games.
Dude, what a flex to claim you've never been tackled.
That's crazy.
Never once been tackled.
They called me the Grease Man. That's crazy. Never once been tackled. They called
me the Grease Man. Oh, that's great. But there is a world. That never happened. I don't know.
Not tackled? I'll give them 63 touchdowns in five games. 63 touchdowns in five games.
How many is that? That's nine a game. No, that's 11 a game. Or 11 would be 55. That's
just him too. That's over twelve touchdowns a game
That's pretty good. The only way I could see that being real is if he was held back
And he was he was he was 19 he was huge for his side held back. You can't hold this guy
You can't tackle him. What are you talking about hands on them to hold them back?
I don't believe this guy was ever held back. That's funny my dad was
My dad was a big
Really relived earth bragged about his heyday of
Semi-pro football. Do you play for the contra hoc and Steelers? No, he played for the Summerton Spartans
Hell of a squad over there
Which like are you aware of this? Do you know this exists?
I think we were born?
I don't know how old he was when this...
Cause he talks like it was last week.
Like he would still talk like it was last season.
See if you can get...
Are they still doing semi-pro in Philly?
I believe they are. I know the Concha Hock and Steelers.
And when your dad would have been...
My boy did it. This would have been he's my age.
This would have been late 70s early 80s.
Probably it was serious business back then.
Oh practice and man.
Talk about dirt.
Oh, yeah, dude.
Probably playing in cutoff jean shorts.
Dude guys looking to hurt people.
Uh-huh hurt people.
It's I mean that to me and as a kid when you hear semi-pro
in my head that's one step away from the Eagles. One step away from the Birds. No. In my head. No.
You know what I mean? I'm like oh and I'm like well why have we never been to a Somerton Spartans
game? You're two steps away. If you were such a star why don't they give you the hero's welcome?
We go we go get fucking you know well we should be on the field of the game, at least.
You're two steps away from county lockup.
Because I've been to a Contra, Hawkins Steelers game.
Really?
Shout out to them.
They've got to play like a high school, right?
It would run me over.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, they're like good athletes that are looking to like.
They're athletic.
I don't think their grades were up there. What do you got T bone?
It's now the Somerton Spartans are now a youth football team. Nah, he just five to fourteen my dad still playing
87 touchdown I believe it was the Somerton Spartans. Yeah, can you come up as anything a semi-pro?
I got all I got on I got I got a
Yeah, can you come it up as anything a semi-pro? I got all I got on I got I got a
the great Eastern Football Association an eight-man
semi-pro league here in PA that currently has four teams scattered throughout Central and he's 14 14 14
14 teams scattered is a nice is one of them the contrahawken Steelers
Let me find out can't you hack and Steelers good God. there's so many. Now it's over. I think it's over. The memories of Concha Hawkins professional football teams.
Oh, this is professional.
This is from the this is from 1919, though.
This ain't right.
I think how old was your boy?
He got held back a couple of years.
Damn, that a 19 and O season in 1919.
When I when I went and saw him, it was a Wednesday afternoon. It was 1920, it was the middle of the depression.
Dudes were out there, it was like right after work, there was nobody there except for like
a couple of baby mamas and stuff like that.
And man, it looked, it did not look like a warm environment.
Holy shit, 2018.
The rebirth of the franchise is upon us.
Uh-oh.
We're looking for players and coaches.
Contact Henry.
All right.
For the contract and Steelers?
Yeah, that was 2018.
The return of the field in 2018, tryouts or something.
We should see if we, we should at least try out
for a Semi Pro football team.
No, try out out we get hurt
I'd want to be ownership
I'd imagine that's looking to buying a team sure the returns can't be you're not making your money on taking prices
You better hope concessions are banging. That's the merch split. Yeah, I wasn't really a big draw when I was there
I'd imagine the pace of play was quite slow. It was. Dudes were getting hurt left and right. They were just
fucking going after each other. Helmets down. Just some guy
pissed off from work. Some UPS driver that got yelled at that
day. Oh fuck somebody up. Just screaming. So it was the Seaboard
Football League now defunct. Ah, they went under, huh? There was
a bunch of teams. Wilkes-Barre, the Giants, Scranton Eagles,
Concha Hawk and Steelers.
Yeah, the Seaboard football team.
It was all like the Eastern Seaboard.
Sure. Like the Northeast.
Or so.
The Seaboard League.
Damn.
We could bring it back.
Become thousandaires.
Is it?
It's a great way to lose a grand.
All businesses lose money forever.
How they Milky Way sales at the snack bar is...
Guys, we gotta get slushy numbers up.
And stop drinking a half and half.
Ah, damn, that's great.
Alright, let's see here. This one's from R Wags.
Is it garbage if your parents save the measuring cups from the Robitussin bottle to use as shot glasses for their holiday parties?
That's alright.
I don't know what I would do if someone handed me a shot in a Robitussin glass. An adult at that.
Take it.
That's, that's like...
Get a nice pop and hit the couch.
Nah, that's like Jonestown shit. I think I'm taking it now if I look around
We're all wearing the same shoe
Fuck that dude. I'm out. I the medical implications of that. Yeah, it's got a pill next to it
Uh-huh now. I'm not I'm not dealing with that. Oh, we never use that thing anyway in the folie household
It was a lot of eyeballing. Yeah a lot ofging. Yeah. And it was always a little more than you
should. You know what I really like? Get some of that tussin' in
you. Yeah. Patty was never, when it comes to that stuff, it
would take two. She'd be like, take a couple more. Always.
With everything. I liked the one we had for a long time. I
think it was more for children, but I banged with it probably
past I should have. It was the tube. I think it was more for children, but I banged with it probably past
I should have it was the tube with the it was like a spoon. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah
Fucking weird. I was alright. I felt like I was doing shooters at Kenan's
Doing those like pre-mixed shots. I don't like that like that. I like right out of the bottle. No shake it up
Oh, I was always in the McFlurry spoon kind of yeah
That was an 80s thing. I feel I don't feel I don't I haven't seen one of them around. It's like it's like the medical
It's like the cousin who got its medical degree of the sponge with the handle attached. Yes
Which the first dude the first time I saw that I was what the soap inside
Yeah, my stepdad had it when he was before they were married they were dating we went to his townhouse
Clay is the operation also found out he had a bullet
That was the first time I found out he had a bulletproof vest. I put it on it was I was going through his shit
Who knows what he was? Who was this my stepdad? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I I thought it was I thought it was a life vest
So I put it on and I was like dude. How could you swim in this thing?
It was a life vest so I put it on and I was like dude. How could you swim in this thing?
And it was like an old lead one you know what I mean it was like he's like that's a bulletproof vest I was like alright. I'll listen to you. Why would he have that?
man fucking cowboy
Christ wincy smoking nash car driving fucking case the shit goes yeah
Yeah, he was the kind of guy who was prepared for things.
Yeah, in case he needed to win the world's gnarliest bet.
Yeah.
Wait, so you had, that's the first time you saw it was there?
He had it.
Really?
Yeah, he had it and I remember, I remember, my brother was upstairs.
I ran to get my brother and was like, wait till you see this.
Because they're clear and you see the liquid inside.
They're clear, you have the green soap.
Looks like it's glowing.
And we were like, you tilled it and it come
Fucking mind blow give it a couple of too many pumps. Yeah get that real soap never once change the sponge now
Rose
Yeah, we had one we had one probably up until
Two months ago we banged with one for like a couple of couple of months or whatever
Well, that's the kind of technology that you look at and you're like, man, we're going to be
alright.
Yeah.
You know?
The ingenuity.
I've had that three times.
One, the first one was something similar where it was, you would get them at Cosmetic World.
Do you remember Cosmetic World or were they gone?
They were in our area.
They were like huge, like...
In our area.
Like...
Are they cosmetics?
Is it the hairspray of the area? Of the area? Um area they had like brushes it was all like chick stuff yeah
I mean I picked up a little cosmetic world is what the fuck hamburgers are
good yeah well they selling used car parts I'd go there with my older
cousins and my aunts on like a Friday night oh it's great hopefully smell like
perfume whoo-wee um it was the brush with the
hairspray at the other end I don't think I've ever seen that what brush with
hairspray brush and and the handle was hollow and I had hairspray pump and you
could pour it in and then and then brush your hair that and then this is pretty
recently but in like Windex and stuff like that instead of having the little straw go all the way down and you can never get the stuff on the bottom
Uh-huh, they tape it to the there they stick it to the side of the thing and it goes all the way down and goes in
pretty good
We could do all that
We'll be alright. You get you would through this. Let's wear those guys put those guys millionaires
Put those guys on something. Let those guys run the world.
They don't need that. Straighten everybody out.
They got all fucking sponge money.
They're not innovating anymore.
It'd be nice if they did their duty to society.
Sure. They're obviously geniuses.
Sure. I think they have.
They're saving up time for everybody.
It's true.
I would... Your cabinet, if you were the president,
would be unbelievable. I would get guys that are straight shooters. A lot of che unbelievable. I would get guys that are like shooters. I
Would get guys that are straight shooters
I would get a lot of guys that didn't want to do it your Bryce Harper would be your Minister of Defense
See this guy you don't want you to have this guy know something about offense. Maybe Schwab or I don't know about our per
Can't go losing our per sure was an attack man
I don't know about Harper
Can't go losing Harper Schwab was an attack man
I'd keep Harper around it for just for a little I can't be for staring purpose
Arrasment probably the first gentleman it kidding me
Yeah, you gotta get guys that don't want to do it
sure
Alright this one's from
pain eater Is it trashy to keep the school picture order form hanging on your fridge all year because you couldn't afford the actual pictures
School picture order remember you had to fill it out and put like the $22 or nine dot whatever package you ordered
Mm-hmm was in an order form
He's saying they never had the money to order to actually get the pictures
Was there ever a way around that like with the watermark or anything like that could you screw over the picture guy?
Probably a pair of scissors remember how militant that was the way they might you would have thought you were buying life insurance
So what the would think the way they would do it the way they would like bring you in
It's like they were taking into the buses or something like like that. Interrogating you or something. Yeah. They'd line you up like 15 at a time.
You'd have like three seconds to get the look.
And the photographer get mad at you. It's like, buddy, this is,
this is your year dickhead.
Listen, you didn't get into- Back to Radio Shack after this.
You didn't get into photography to take my picture of my fucking dumb ass.
All right? It's fucking play ball, will you? Get my good side. No hair and makeup, nothing play ball. Well. You'll get my good so hair and makeup nothing
You get a fan on get some flow going yeah, I never took a good picture
I that's the best that it's ever gotten and those were those were a little different that was your graduation picture
Yeah, same with me mine. I have a little time. I have a couple of good ones from that
I think he might have done a little makeup on me a little touch up really Yeah, I had something like a cut or something and he fucking kissed me or so. I forget what he's a pepperoni
Let's see
This is from peanut butter man. Never had one read is a garbage of someone's lips move when they read
Yes, I told you did we do that? You said you read out loud.
I was trying.
When Stone was here, I was trying to.
I was trying to start to read.
And I could only read out loud.
But I also wanted to hear how it sounded.
Table of Continence.
Oh, I hate that.
All that bullshit.
My lips read a little bit.
I'll putter it definitely.
It's a sign of unintelligence. Sure. That much is for sure. Sure.
I wish I was a reader. This is have you ever had a conversation?
We have a buddy that does this where you talk to them and they try to get you can
see them guessing the word you're going to say with your mouth.
I've only ever met a handful of people that have done this. That's got Ryan D.
written all over it. It's not, it's not.
It's one of our friends that loves trains.
No, it's not. You'll be like, yeah, so then I was going
and he's looking at you going
I'm like, hey buddy
this isn't a fucking goddamn competition
here, let me tell you my fucking
subway story. Is it me?
No. Do I know? You're not smart enough
to do that. Do I know? Yeah.
You won't say his name? I don't not not for public consumption
initials
first name
That happens in acting sometimes you see a kid actors do it yeah, yeah, yeah
They're they're saying my most notable in Talladega nights
And I've watched ten thousand times before I had cable in my room
That was what I would go to bed to every night and the redheaded kid does it heavy. Oh he does
Notice it heavy heavy heavy the first time. I think I've ever noticed it
Yeah, do you keep it there someone's gonna get smack in the mouth?
Come on you like a spider monkey chip
All right, let's see here. This is from Josh ten dollar Canadian homie shout out to the fucking our friendly neighbors up north of course
Is it trash if he found out your father was a convicted murderer and served time well you and him got pulled over
Whoa, so they got pulled over and how does that come out?
you and him got pulled over. So they got pulled over and how does that come out?
That can't be like, Canadian law must be wonky.
I don't think you can walk up and be like,
you're the Toby McMullen from the fucking Jenkins
of homicide.
You know what I mean?
He had done his time though.
I guess, and also how did,
they might've lied to him and said, you know.
Are you the Somerton Slaughter?
Yeah.
Goddamn, boy.
Might've lied to him and said his dad was serving time for stealing an NYPD barnacle
or something, you know.
Yeah.
But whatever it is, I mean, that ain't classy.
No, that's a rough look.
That's a quiet car ride home.
Hey, you don't want to piss him off.
This guy's got blood on his hands.
He's willing to, you did it once, you're willing to do it again.
Go home and get that room cleaned, son.
That's whatever happened to my older brother. Hey, we didn't lose you're willing to do it again. Go home and get that room clean, son. Whatever happened to my older brother?
We didn't we didn't lose him in Toronto.
Um, all right, this one's from Joe.
Are you garbage if your missus is more handy than you?
Her pops was an electrician.
Um, that's a keeper.
I wouldn't say yeah, no, I think that's great.
My wife isn't more handy or that isn't handier than me. She's more motivated for sure so she ends up
Spearheading a lot of the things cuz I'm very much and I've realized about it myself. It's it ain't it ain't I'm
Tomorrow the next day and it's like man. I've been saying that for six weeks or six months at this point
I love a handy lady
Yeah, pull start pulling some fucking weight around here
I think the bird is handier than me or she just has more patience and just does things better. I always I
Wouldn't paint you as handy. No. No not at all. Yeah, and I'm gonna fuck it up. It's gonna be crooked
It's gonna be whatever and there's gonna be a lot of anger that goes into it
There's gonna be a lot of yelling that goes into it. Mm-hmm.
There's gonna be a lot of yelling and a lot of, fuck God!
Yeah, you're not handy. Thumbsy, maybe.
Thumbsy, very thumbsy. Yeah, I can get it up there, but it's gonna be all fucked up.
And I'm gonna be bitching about it the whole time.
A lot of dropping stuff.
Dropping screws. Man, I hate dropping screws.
Brutal.
Ever see a guy just,
knock it all in at once?
I remember I was shocked.
I saw a guy named Pete.
No, it wasn't Ducky.
Rudy.
Dicky.
A guy named Dicky.
Ducky was my neighbor.
Dicky was a guy who worked for the guy
across the street from me.
Okay.
And I saw him one shot hammer and nail all like a long bolt like
BAM man. And I was like, that's a man's man. Drywall nail? No, like a big like lumber nail.
Like you like two by four into two by four. Like, bam. Yeah. Blew my fucking blew my tits.
If I saw a guy do that, I put on an apron and get him some lemonade
Be done in a few minutes diggy. I do be I do declare
I'll wait out in the car for you
Well if it isn't the most eligible bachelor
I wish I was that nail I
Wish you were banging me
Yeah, I don't have any I like I've said before like I'm
Handy and ish like I can get the job done, but it's a bad job. It don't look right I'm and I've I've slowly realized
I'm just pay a handyman to do it or somebody who's more
educated in the world than me in my blue collar experience. I
was never like, if you were never the Finnish guy. No, yeah,
you're the laborer. Yeah, yeah, same. Yeah. Hand the tools clean
out the all the shit that the electricians left and all that
stuff. Never. Right. Not even. I guess I cut stuff, which I was pretty good at.
It's pretty good on the saw.
Sure. I mean, so was I.
So we used to have to make like hangers to hang pipes.
So it's like the all we have.
It's like all it looks like a big long screw, but they're like six feet long.
And you have to cut those man.
And it has to like when you're like hang when pipes get being hung
It's got a fall at a certain degree mm-hmm so like the water naturally moves through or whatever man, and I remember
Fucking everything up by like three eighths of an inch and just like dude
It was it was probably like eight thousand dollars in man hours that I
Got the fuck off the sauce Ran and hit in the car at some chicken tendies for lunch I'll be
back to sweep up in a little bit I remember that one time I got caught it I
was in my mom's car working for my dad and I this I thought it was the thought
it was lunchtime I was on I on the impression the boys were taking lunch
And we were working we were working at a supermarket like doing something and some construction I was on the side of the super part
But you know like no one parks on the side of the supermarket. What were you doing?
What we're hacking you weren't working with them
Something in it we might have been waiting on a delivery or some his tenders were getting cold
We might have been waiting on a delivery or some. His tenders were getting cold.
What are you thinking?
They just dropped a bag of fucking, of tendies and potato wedges.
Really? Who did?
The guys that were making the tenders, the people at the thing.
At the grocery store, supermarket?
Yeah.
Oh, they hooked you guys up.
No, it was like they put it up front to be like, okay, it's lunchtime.
Uh-huh. to sell. Oh they were stocking the rotisserie chicken. So you went up and bought lunch? Yeah.
Went through the line and everything? Oh yeah you got it. You were working there? Yeah I had a cup I had a few
whatever there was some downtime and I remember sitting in Sitting in my sit in my mom's car
I believe it was just couldn't tie the AC cook and I had my tunes on and I'm fucking I'm going to the town on
This bag of chicken fingers and a bag of potato wedges and it's screaming cold coke
And I'm the only car on the side of the building
You know what I mean?
And I'm parked in like the middle and I turn around I look out that And I catch my dad at the back just being like what the fuck are you?
Fuck you
Music you're fucking eating chicken tenders. Oh, man. That's what you just look and hit the door lock
Morning right back this snacking dude that fucking eating chicken tenders. I'm paying. What am I paying for fucking Steve's over here waiting? Yeah
Cuz I have yeah
You say I thought it was lunch. Yeah
He wasn't he's not a real negotiable guy when that stuff is though what double lunch? Oh
Lunches in 20 minutes. Okay. I'll be back for my attendees
Oh lunch is in 20 minutes. Okay. I'll be back for my attendees
Yeah Nothing better than a bag of chicken tenders in my book. I'm too shabby. I love it. Um
All right, this one's from Richard C
This is a bit of this is a little bit of a story. Is it garbage to give a hand-me-down as a gift?
hand me down as a gift. Recently went to a close friend's son's fifth birthday
and we gifted him our kid's old bike.
This was a nice kid's bike from REI
that was like $300 new.
I like how he's really getting into the...
It was like $300, probably $250.
You know what I mean?
I've spun a yarn in my day. Also, who gets a bike at an REI? It's where you get, probably $250. You know what I mean? I've spun a yarn in my day.
Also, who gets a bike at an REI?
It's where you get kayaks and stuff.
I think they probably have mountain bikes.
Yeah, they do.
They have good mountain bikes.
Really?
Yeah.
This was a nice kid's bike from REI
that was like $300 new.
This guy's really throwing in adjectives.
I cleaned it up to look almost new,
but right when the kid saw it, he said, this looks old.
That's a tough, I don't think you should,
I mean, getting called out by a five year old on your gift.
At a party, man.
Tough luck.
Listen.
What's the call there?
I don't have kids, I don't know.
No, the call's no.
Listen, the call is you take the brake lines off,
you paint the frame and then you're in the clear.
I'll give you that.
Why? Because you nice new paint job.
They're gonna be able to tell it's old.
Sure.
I know to paint it like nice like that with spray paint
or something at the house.
Where's he gonna get the paint job done?
And why are you cutting the brake lines?
You're not cutting them.
You got to take them off.
You can't paint the brakes.
You're not setting this kid up to crash them off. You can't paint the brakes.
You're not setting this kid up to crash into a dumpster or go off a cliff or something.
Oh, okay.
One too many Columbus on this guy, right?
Jesus Christ.
Hey, this kid won't say shit when he's down the ravine.
What?
Just buy a movie ticket.
Anybody ask you about the movies?
No, it's a tough...
He did this?
Yeah.
Listen. Here's the thing, man. Get him a cheaper gift
Yeah, I'm gonna spend that kind of money get him a fucking GI Joe shut him up a couple weeks later
Go over with the bike. Hey Tim. He's done with this and or sell the bike
You know what? I mean, you can sell the but if it's you know, the 300 you can get I don't know on Facebook
What you 70 bucks 80 bucks 100 bucks for it or whatever.
That's a no occasion gift.
Hey, I got this whole bike.
Thought you would want.
Yeah, because especially now, I think with the availability of toys and
the like everything.
I don't think kids are getting used shit like that back in the day.
Yeah, for sure.
But I think now it's like everything's so much cheaper and readily available
that it's like, give me like cheaper and readily available that it's like
Give me like that kids probably never got a used present like that before so he's worse night Let's wait called him out on it. Give him the old shit. I'd probably say the same thing
I tell you what you want a piece of cake get the old cake from last year
You like old shit
Ribbons new though. Yeah, that's uh, that's a tough look that's embarrassing you
gotta fuck I would have started throwing hundreds at the kid to shut
them up hey zip it there fucking alfalfa I cleaned that out well God love you for
making the effort yeah yeah I think you learned your lesson though in the sense
of you know buy him something for 40 bucks new yeah hey here you go come by a
week later and give him the bike. Yeah.
Um, all right, let's see here. This is from Jennifer. Shout out to a lady. Homey is a garbage. I have a blanket with wolves on it that I bought at the flea market hanging on the wall as decor.
Whoa, those are the stereotypical. You got gotta move a lot of weight. A lot of burn. Sure.
Yeah.
To have that hanging out.
You gotta say that's accompanied by a real nice bong.
Yeah, that's like Humboldt County shit, I feel.
That's like Pacific Northwest or south or something.
Long handmade skirts.
And my thing with that too, that's probably a cozy blankie.
You're wasting that on the wall, get that down. Wash it about 5,000 times.
She bought it used at a flea market.
It's already.
Oh, is that why you're saying wash it 5,000 times?
No, I say wash it 5,000 times.
It was new to get it nice and worn in.
I don't think I could use that.
Use a blanket.
I bought at the flea market.
After you wash it, make it yours.
I don't think so.
I really don't think I can.
I love those couch blankets.
That blanket's dirty, but that acids clean man
little sunshine I
Slept on the couch last night wrapped up in the couch blankets
Uh-huh couch blank yeah, I'm just like two or three of them because they don't really fit my whole body
Get one between my legs get one over me. I'm all about that other people's couch blankets
They're selling it out of listen. I don't trust that guy who's got a stand at a flea market I don't trust what they
wear that blankets been hmm I gotta take into account this guy's whole
personality he's getting up on a Tuesday morning going to a flea market selling a
thing I know thank you I had to throw my couch blanket away recently why god
because it had been enough to it was was there was no coming back there's a lot of the wall why because it's just
it's it's like in wash you're not gonna wash it or what nah you couldn't mr.
clean couldn't fix that would you kill somebody on it Jesus Christ I think
he's talking about seeming I wasn't painting this man is a pervert
Damn it. That's what you were doing. No, it was just it was just thinking
I've been sitting in it farting in it for two years and you could wash that you could the only time you can't wash it
Is when you're slapping the ham no ham what we're doing over there
Honey, bake that thing probably buck naked in your apartment,
put the cat in the kitchen.
Don't look at me.
All right, this one I'm not even really sure about,
and I know my, I'm well versed in scams
and keeping the plates spinning, but is it gar,
this is from Brendan, is it garbage if you buy something
on a credit card to pawn it off because payday
is two weeks away and you're strapped for cash.
Now hold on, let's you buy something on a credit card in the sense that you don't have the cash
but I will have the cash. This bill's not due for 30 days. Right. You then take said item to pawn
shop. I want to pawn this. And you get, they'll go, we'll give you a hundred bucks cash.
Now how does that work with, I never pawned, I've sold.
Yeah, so what, what pawning is they give you a loan
and the product is collateral.
So if you go with a watch, say you have a thousand dollar
watch, they go, we'll give you, I'm not sure of the number,
we'll give you $600 cash and hold your thousand dollar
watches collateral. So if you don't come back with the six with
the 600, but now you have to go I'm making money. I'm covered
because I have $1,000 of your but don't you have to come back
and you're paying more than 600 right? I would assume can you
find out the the typical return what the VIG is on a pawn shop?
Yeah, there's gotta be a VIG. Oh, for sure. Otherwise, it
wouldn't make any money. So let's say you come back and return $660.
Yeah.
So that is like that now makes sense.
That's a way to get cash.
I'm going to buy something for a thousand.
I'm going to buy a thousand dollar watch on my credit card,
go pawn it for $600.
I got $600.
Then when I get paid in two weeks,
put it back on the credit card.
I go back.
In New York, you're allowed to charge a maximum interest rate of 4% per month.
That's cheap money.
Per month?
That's cheaper than the banks.
4%. You can't get a mortgage at 4%.
No. That's crazy.
But then this is saying...
That's cheaper than fucking credit cards too. That's cheaper than a cash advance.
But this is in a different state, a pawn shop charged 20 to 25% interest.
Jesus.
That's, that's...
That's their problem.
Hey buddy, move.
So you're talking about...
Well, I can tell you that's why you don't see pawn shops at NYC very much.
You don't, right?
Sure, not anymore.
In old law and orders there was a lot, they were finding a lot of leads and getting a lot of guns and jewelry there.
A lot of guys that didn't want to talk. but yeah, you probably can't afford to keep it
See how many pawn shops are are in Manhattan?
Or just throw it in like the in in a Google search bar there. That's crazy for but that makes sense to me
That I mean the whole scam makes sense. That's that's high-level scam and right that's high-level plate-spinning
I like so let me see you buy a thousand dollar watch. It was like 12. That's that's high level scamming right that's high level plate spinning. I like let me see you buy a thousand dollar watch
It was like 12. That's not that many no
We should go to why they have so much shit. I would love to go to I don't think I've ever really been to a pawn shop
Let's do it. I used to buy DVDs the pawn shop really oh yeah
I used to love pawn stars dude dude. I loved loved loved that show
Lover Rick's laughing at everything
Guys got heater voice heavy eater voice he does
Mr. Harrison, um, so hold on you buy a watch for a thousand dollars on credit card. You're still spent no money
Nope, right. Nope
$1,000 on the credit card.
That's not on credit card.
That's due at the end of the month.
That's floating.
That's fucking in the wind.
That doesn't matter.
But then you've got to be out.
How's this math work?
You've got to be out $400 at the end of this.
Why?
So you buy a watch for $1,000.
Right?
You go, and I don't know what.
I doubt they give you brand new value dollars. So it's like we'll
give you up $700. You get $700 cash. You now have $700 cash.
Yeah. Okay, this is great. You return in two weeks. You owe
them $750. But then you got to pay $840. $840. But then you
have to pay $1,000 on the you have to pay the credit card back $1,000. Yeah, but then you have to pay a thousand on that
You have to pay the credit card back a thousand dollars. Yeah, and then you have a watch
Oh, maybe you return you return the watch. Whoa
That's what I'm gonna need more information your return Brendan
I'm gonna need more information on how this scam hang on what what did you pawn wait?
How much did you get? I need a number. How much is it clear at the end?
I got it thousand dollar watch you buy it in your credit card
You bring it to the pawn place you pawn it they give you six hundred dollars at the end of the week
You're gonna owe seven just seven. Yeah, okay, so you have the six hundred dollars you spend the six hundred dollars
Now you get you get paid you go and you seven, so you're losing a hundred bucks on it.
Yeah, but now you have a thousand dollar bill.
You have a thousand dollar watch that you then take and return, and you're out clean.
That would have to be the only way it makes sense.
So you got six hundred dollars for a hundred dollars.
It cost you a hundred, the price of doing business.
If it's that type of VIG.
This guy's check engine light is on.
Oh yeah.
He's smoking with, he's hot boxing cigs too.
He's making it work.
Yeah.
Oh dude, it's knocking but it's getting him there.
I fucking respect you.
And what if you have something in the house of value
where you could just keep doing that?
Yeah, because the, the, the, the, the,
at the end of the day, I don't think the-
They just want the VIG.
They want the VIG. That's probably where they're making I don't think the they just want the VIG. They want the VIG.
That's probably where they're making the money.
They hope you don't pay.
Yeah, but a lot of times then they got to sit on a fucking
watch for seven months and try to sell that then they go.
Hey, it's a thousand dollar watch.
We can sell it for eight.
I sat and also think about it.
They probably do a lot of stuff on eBay now and then you're
you're losing money on the commissions and shipping and
like what I learned from Pawn Stars,
that's a financial service business.
They're in the money lending.
The longer they have $1,000 invested in a watch
sitting in a drawer or sitting on the,
even if you don't come back and get the watch.
So now he goes, okay, great, I have a $1,000 watch.
If he sits on that for five months, that's a thousand dollars
that's sitting there that he's not that he can't lend out again.
You see what I'm saying?
That he can't lend out again. Why?
Because he's he's got a thousand dollars invested in that.
He's got him.
He's got a lot of inventory, which is money sitting there that he then can't.
If he sells that watch for a thousand dollars, he now has a thousand dollars
cash he can lend and make more money on.
Ah, see what I'm saying? Yeah.
It's just I did learn something to all Paul and logos have three dots on it.
So you notice that and then when you look it up, why it's it's
it goes all the way back to like, like, like
it's like a great symbol.
That's that that., like it's like a gold rush dot dot dot.
No, it's like we'll have I don't wait too much about fucking
palm stars that it's an old the palm broker symbols, three
golden balls suspended from a bar. The three ball symbol may
be directly attributed to the Medici family of Florence,
Italy, owning its symbolic meaning in
heraldry
The Medici dates all the way back Wow those dudes were banging. Yeah, they were banging uh-huh they funded the Renaissance
You know how they did that case watches bank. No. I'm kidding pawn watches
budget their bags needed cage
golf clubs and electric guitars.
I really want to go.
Jimmy Hendrix played that.
You want to go where? Florence, Italy? Let's go.
No, I want to go to a pawn shop. I've never been.
Let's do it.
We were never a pawn family.
We could go to a nice one in Jersey,
like we did with the storage unit.
There's probably a nice, nice,
there's probably a big, nice pawn shop out in Jersey.
Yeah, you got any old swords or anything you're trying to move?
They let you film in there or anything?
Maybe we should all do that.
We should find one thing we have that we want to pawn.
No, we're not getting them.
We'll sell it to them.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Yeah, not pawn it.
Sell it.
Yeah, we'll sell it off to them.
I have an armor, a Knight of Armor.
That one?
Yeah. They turn around and score.
The hell? Bunch of camera equipment.
You boys might be interested in.
This nice dining room table.
Mm hmm. Get a nice big on that.
All right. And speaking of cash as well, this one's this guy's name's Foley's off medicine.
Hello. Ten ten dollars share. Hello. Ten dollars shareholder
Is it trashy to use a drive-up ATM? I know it's usually in a classier areas
But I always feel like garbage waiting in line versus going into the bank slash vestibule and feeling like a distinguished gentleman
I'm pulling out 40 bucks here. Dude. No sitting Sitting in your car waiting to use it seems weird, right?
It's crazy.
I do miss the drive-through banking
where you put it in the tube and it goes up.
Now, Patty was big on that.
Oh, we were big on that.
Now, what was the etiquette of this?
My dad was heavy on that, right?
Yeah.
And we always had to have cash to pay guys
for side work and stuff like that.
So it was a lot of getting cash.
And I was always taught you had to have the slip filled out already.
You can't go there and go, I need a deposit slip.
And then they got to send the deposit.
You fill it out. You don't know your number.
I remember Patty always filling it out in the car.
Yeah, I think the standard process was you should have that ahead of time.
What, you go to the bank at some point and get a bunch of them?
Because I was doing that a lot at my bank.
I was because I was a lazy asshole.
And the lady's like, I'll just start giving you deposit slips.
I'll send out a bunch.
Yeah, because I was pulling up going, can you send me a deposit slip?
And like, there's like a line.
Hit two lollipops.
Dude, I was gonna say there's something about that tube
where the compression of the air
makes the lollipop sweeter.
It's great.
It's a little cold in there.
It's great.
It was great.
Yeah, I loved that thing.
And also too, it keeps you off the radar a little bit.
There's not a lot of questions going on in there.
What do you mean?
When you're in the car?
There's no cameras on you saying they played fast and loose around the tube I'm saying they played fast and loose around the tubes. There's there's a certain you're in a certain position of authority come on
I'm in a hurry. I'm in the car. I'll give you that yeah
Shit hits the fan you could be out
That's probably why sir you don't look like a patty foley
Probably why they got rid of it one wait a second you hear tires
Let me get the man
Once they pull over an associate you know you're jammed up. I used to hate that
They called somebody over and I was never gonna work out
And I was never gonna work out my little chowers up my dad's bad
Never here um Yeah, that's uh, but the drive-up ATM. I don't think I ever really used now
I don't think I've ever used it once that's how they get you uh
Wouldn't trust that as far as you could throw it also being where we're from in the Philadelphia area
So being where we're from in the Philadelphia area,
Wawa was the ATM because there was no surcharge. So regardless of your bank, it was like I didn't have to drive out and find a TD.
And I'm hitting a Wawa every probably every day.
But if not every day, four or five days a week to get coffee, heaters, lunch.
So you're like, I'll wait and you always hit it a Wawa.
Plus the cash at Wawa was always a little bit crisper
I don't know why all clean also a little dirty those 20s were all right
Top of coffee and a sizzling walker there were like 400 bucks in your pocket like a god 400 bucks fresh
But you're not to join over. What are you talking 400 bucks?
That's a 60 man
40 and 10
Man, if you know you're in a bad ATM when they say do you want when it's like we give tens
Uh-huh my bodega like my bodega when I lived that temple did fives
Man spending 750 to get five bucks, you know, you're jammed up for a pack of skaters
cuz I would have like
for a pack of skeeters. Because I would have like $9 or.
$10 minimum at the Bodega.
Yeah, so exactly.
Well, this is back when, remember when Bodegas
didn't accept credit cards?
Yeah.
That was like, we lived up here where they would be like,
ah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
Now it's like, and then there was a $10 minimum or whatever.
Now people are swiping and they don't even ask
for cash anymore.
They go, you're buying like a dollar 250 for a water
Like they go they just start plugging it in the machine and turn the machine and go tap
Yeah, they don't even go cash nothing. Yeah, because they may be out of business
Yeah, it was the same thing with cabs cabs didn't want to take the cards
Remember when they put them in they put you would get in and they go they're broken. They're broken
I go and then you learned you're you're not allowed out on the street unless it's working and they can't refuse
a service to not take you somewhere yeah what they do I mean especially now
they're playing they they play by their own rules I was a Danny Danny P the
other night and we were going to a better Williamsburg Comedy Club and I
got a car and he's only just get a yellow cap like a yellow cap
Yeah, forgot my you forgot my fucking hazmat suit at home. Hey guy. What are you nuts? I got fucking shows to do
Yeah, but we got to wrap it up gang gang. We love you to death. Oh, yeah
This is Lana. We're here this weekend. You can smell us and the boss, baby
Friday night will be in Tampa to Tampa Theatre and Saturday night will be over there in Atlanta, Georgia.
There's still some tickets left.
Do yourself a favor grab.
We can't wait to see you guys.
We love you.
We'll see you next week.
Peace.