Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - The Ireland Episode w/ Kippy & Foley
Episode Date: March 28, 2024Are You Garbage is back from Ireland this time! With Kippy and Foley and the whole team for a family episode from Ireland to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watch...ing AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! Through the Roof Tour Tickets: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Lucy: https://lucy.co Promo Code: Garbage Mando: https://shopmando.com/ Promo Code: Garbage This Show is sponsored by BetterHelp Better Help: https://www.BetterHelp.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?
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Hachi Maci, the 2024 Through the Roof Tour is about to launch, baby.
Come out and see the boys at the stand-up comedy show,
and then we answer your garbage questions.
You've seen the clips, you know it's a good time.
Grab the squad and come see the boys, baby.
Yeah, it starts April 17th in Charlotte, North Carolina.
Then April 18th, we're going to Nashville, Tennessee.
April 19th in Tampa, Florida at the Tampa Theater.
April 20th at the Center Stage Theater in Atlanta, Georgia. Get all those tickets and tickets for all
the other cities on the Through the Roof Tour at RUgarbage.com.
Welcome to another exciting edition of RUgarbage, the show where you find out
if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute
trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is R U Garbage.
Oh, yeah.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that they're
good to be classy.
Yeah.
Or if they're just a big old piece of trash trash
trash I'm your host Dave Schaul coming at you on your monumentous day coming at
you from the old country gang Dublin Ireland tody kept their word and got the
boys back to the old coming at you from Aunt Riri's place just on the outskirts
at Dublin her and Aunt Tootie are out in the city center doing a little two-man pickpocketing.
Girls haven't been together in a long time and when they team up, boy, not even Interpol can stop them.
We can't thank all the Bozos and the Homies for getting us here. We appreciate you guys. We love you.
My co-host is coming at you from across the fireplace. He's the CEO of RU Garbage.
He is an international businessman
on international grounds.
Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan.
That better be Deutschmarks.
What's up gang?
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate,
view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
As you know, those numbers are
Shrouded Roof.
Fucking.
And then obviously the greatest website of all time.
I gotta tell you guys at www.patreon.com slash RU garbage shout out to the motherfucking homies? This is why we're here
We appreciate it was a gold 12,500 and we fucking crush that
Thank you so much
And then yeah, so now we're in fucking Dublin, baby
And how about a nice quick shout out to our producer?
extraordinary the old magic man makes us all look good works the ones the twos the threes and the fours he crosses the T's and he dots the
eyes and he turned and Riri's living room into the new studio give it up for
T-bone Mcscruffins Toby McMullen everybody what up boys oh this is great
I don't know what to do with you next to me I feel like I'm on the view now we
got to get you headphones I want I want a computer monitor in front of you. Good joke there, but I
Don't like this. You're killing buddy
You like the team manager they thrown at the end of the game
No one's playing defense
You're bouncing a football down the court. Hey, man, I brought my glove to the game and you need a fourth man
And with this as he is always on the road.
All right. He's the setup man of the RU Garbage Live show.
Even when there's not shows anymore.
I could benagle his way into this trip, man.
Coming out of my pocket.
Tom Cat Daddy Cassidy, everybody. Hey, Tom, you see.
It's the first time you've mentioned it, Kevin.
Holy shit.
I like it here because the Irish Catholic guilt is just guilt.
Yeah. So that's nice.
But yeah, good to be here. All the churches are Catholic.
Usually when you when you're in New York, you see a church.
I could be Presbyterian.
Could be this could be that could be a synagogue could be whatever.
All Catholic churches here.
Maybe you could pop in and start weeping.
What you were pushing to do yesterday after I had about 22 beers.
I wanted I wanted to go drunk.
Yeah, that's crazy to me. That's a sober.
Listen, I don't like when I go on vacation.
I don't like doing anything. I don't do it at home.
Does that make sense? It's a work trip.
Yeah. American Express could be watching this.
I for well, we are.
You shut your mouth.
So I love we've been in meetings all day, everybody.
We would have them give them.
We're actually in like Westchester County.
We just tell them we're in Dublin.
No, I like doing I don't like going to like museums or nothing,
because I don't do that shit at home.
I don't care. So it's like, you know, I like I like to go fucked up and have heaters.
I like to be in a heightened emotional state when I do stuff like that.
You are to connect, man.
You know what I mean? To really feel it.
I feel like you can't get no shrooms in this joint.
I feel like you need to be the work trip.
You just said what?
I feel like you need the booze so you could actually be honest
to the priest.
Otherwise you'd be like, everything's going great.
Make it a lot of progress, father.
Turn it back on him.
What do you been doing?
What do you look?
You guys ain't had your nose clean?
Hey that much I've got a couple times though cuz I caught a mess when you guys were at a casino and I
been talking to what's
He got I'm trying to control a narrative
St. Patrick chased all the snakes
Dime on it
I've never faced all the snakes out of Ireland. This guy gives in here, dropping dime on us.
I wasn't at a casino.
Tom Cassidy, host of the Cat Daddy and Hyena podcast, and also FBI agent.
You're goddamn fed.
It's called Cat Daddy and the Pizza Squirrel.
But I also walked over a beautiful graveyard too, while you guys were on drink number 12 yesterday.
I do like the dark stuff, I gotta say.
It hits different over here.
That is like an old trope.
You hear when you get there, the Guinness, it's that dude.
There's something about it.
It's clean. It's crisp.
It's refreshing.
Yeah, for the gang, we've been here for a couple of days.
Two months.
It feels like a minute.
We got here early in the morning and we charged through, did a full day
and then had a big day yesterday, just going around.
We did the very touristy thing,
because we got here and our Airbnb wasn't ready,
so we dropped the luggage,
and went just venturing out into the fucking city.
Oh yeah, I don't know if that's the normal tourist thing.
We dropped our luggage at a closed bar.
Sure, well I'm sure in Ireland
that's split off into the city.
No, but a lot of times when you're traveling
in other countries, you have to do that. Like, you know, we've typically when we travel, we go check in somewhere
and then like the show or whatever, getting in somewhere in the afternoon.
This was very like we were just kind of lost in Dublin type deal,
like nowhere to go.
We just had to go kill time.
Highlighted the trip so far.
What do you got? The sausage roll.
Man, I didn't think it was just what that it says it it's so good.
It's the greatest for everybody in America.
They've been lying to us for years.
The food here is unbelievable.
All right, man.
Yeah, I guess you like onion gravy for breakfast.
I don't hate to drizzle a little on my eggs.
Sausage roll is just that.
It's just sausage in like a pastry.
It's fucking buttered up and crisp and oily.
It's so good.
I think the best way to describe it is a chocolate croissant.
We replace the chocolate with sausage.
That's pretty good.
It's pretty close.
Yeah, it's pretty good.
I've had one every day for breakfast.
I've had one every day for my breakfast appetizer.
Fully had two for breakfast.
Again.
Hey, what do you work for the school newspaper? Shut up. Fully had two for breakfast. Again. What's with this guy? Hey!
What do you work for the school newspaper?
Shut up!
I'm just calling balls and strikes, buddy.
Luke didn't want his.
No, I didn't want mine.
Oh.
So I had both of them.
Alright, so I had three.
I had three.
It was also insane because when we flew, we flew red--eye so most of us didn't even sleep at all
So we were on absolutely no sleep that first which I thought I would be able to sleep But dude, we were in an older plane and my seat was like you barely fit in it dude. It sucked
I can't do when you don't fit in fucking when you don't fit in first class
You're a fat pig man, and I did not fit I was so uncomfortable all the time and plus there was a guy right next to me
Which what was up with that? He seemed so uncomfortable. I felt I felt bad for you if there was no divider
I was I was I was married to this guy for for seven hours
And he was a light sleeper dude. He had his mask on he's rolling around at one point. He like threw his arm over
around at one point he like threw his arm over
Yeah, let me know let the cat back in yeah you were
Get the dog off it was it was it was funny not funny to say I did genuinely cuz you were
Propped up in that chair and you're at one point you were the only guy not sleeping
Everybody else is passed out. You were just sitting there like baby you eat the fucking screen blasting on your face
Well, whatever and I tried to do my Bloody Mary thing and it just didn't work
What your hundred of them exactly? It's a big plot my Bloody Mary, dude. I don't know what it is I can't get I thought you're supposed to get drunker at altitude
When you're high, I don't know dude. I had were high too. Yeah, yeah
Do you have a colonic that day as well?
I've got a colonic done that day too cuz I wanted to be all freshened up for where you got a porn shoot coming on
What do you mean all fresh and dope a lot of hot guys over here?
What's up boys got a clean field?
I know it'll look great, but I keep it. I keep it clean. The greens are
fast. The grass is cut and the lawns been watered. No I just I wanted to you know I
wanted to feel fresh. I'm just feeling like grody grody gross gross Is grody a specific word for you to describe you? That's what I called them earlier.
Charles Grody. Charles Grody.
Charles Groden.
It's a deep cut.
I'm not a Midnight Run fan.
Check it out.
Yes. And when I went to the Kalanick place,
I got done and I was like,
first of all, when I got there, I would you tip.
I tip 20.
This is a minor key.
Got you up on the lift.
I tip 20.
It's 90.
You tip them.
You tip them.
Do you know what they're doing?
I figured they're doctors.
No, not these guys.
Not doctors.
They failed on a beauty school. No! Not these guys. Not doctors, but it's a-
They failed on a beauty school.
It's a medical field.
No?
Tipping them changes the vibe for sure, dude.
Foley gets his done a Jiffy Lube. What are you talking about?
Yeah, wait, this is not-
No, this isn't like a doctor's office.
Does anybody have any medical training there?
I mean, I don't know. They were watching ER when I got there.
Yeah, GEDs seem good to me.
No, it's...
So it's like more of a beauty place.
No.
What other services do they provide?
That, they just do colonics.
And you're tipping them?
That seems strange to me.
There was a slot there.
They gotta change the buckets and stuff like that.
Watch the house.
Change the buckets?
Yeah, the grody buckets.
The grody buckets.
You got a lot of grody
No, they're not doctors they might be
Nurses assistants or something they were wearing scrubs
With jeans
But when I got there it was just a lady she checks me in whatever I go in there and do my thing
But when I came out there was a dude there and he was eating soup at the counter.
That's insane.
Like he was the worst colonic.
You can't be eaten.
He was really chomping on it.
And then I went in and used the bathroom when I came back out
and I was talking to him and he just volunteered.
He's like, man, you got a lot in you and this and that going over it.
And like how many years it's been in there and all this stuff.
And then I was like, usually the smell doesn't bother me.
But you, my God, I was like,
I was like, you know, can I drink?
Can I drink after this?
And they were like, no, absolutely not.
I'm like, I'm about to go on a seven hour flight.
I look up like that's your excuse for being an alcoholic.
Well, sir, I got to go to work.
And he's like, you know, the things open up
and you're really soaking the alcohol.
And he's like, so what's going to happen?
That's what you think, buddy.
He's like, it's going to hit you really hard.
And I'm like, all right.
That's kind of why I came in here.
And then we went then we got to the airport.
I had that one bloody Mary to test the waters
Nothing because he's like you're gonna get a headache. You're gonna want to throw up. You didn't really let it
Any sort of if there was gonna be any symptoms, you don't want to marinate you crush too
But yet you got one skulled him when I feel okay, I feel test
I know but i'm just saying it's not like what if it what if the symptoms the side effects kicking in 25 minutes
I was worried about that about halfway through the flight
But you're gonna just start leaking out of your butt or something
No, no, not that that I was just gonna get real nauseous and real sick, but it didn't happen
Cuz then we ate we had lunch and then I got on the plane and I literally had
It's great when you get a flight attendant
You just gets it and just plays ball and just here you go. Just bang. You mean someone doesn't push back on your consumption.
Yes.
And I probably had like, you know, my normal 15 Bloody
Marys.
That's insane.
I couldn't sleep fresh off a colonic.
Yeah, I thought it would hit me and knock me up and I couldn't
I didn't sleep at all.
I maybe slept for like 10 minutes and then we land it and
then we hit the ground running.
Well, me Tommy and Luke were standing in steerage back to
back.
We hit the ground running well me Tommy and Luke were standing in steerage back to back
Like the hull is that Titanic down there everybody was dancing standing around a burning trash
Trying to keep warm take it back panels ripping off thing as another thing, too We were on a Boeing which made me a little nervous
Oh the fact that we sat for 45 minutes because the bathrooms didn't work or whatever? The toilet didn't work. How crazy is that? And
my girl was just on a flight. Same thing. Something went wrong and it was a Boeing. It's these
little things. That's what makes you nervous. Was the colonic a preventative measure for
a seven hour flight where you knew you couldn't poop? You're like I got to get all the poop
out of my body because I don't go to the bathroom on a plane. That's what I'm saying. But I but I it's I'm telling you it's shot.
Everything. His body knows that it can't do it. So it doesn't
even let him like how many bodies just like I'm in I'm in
panic mode. You sit at the door. The door gets sealed and then
so does his dick. You sit with some crazy guy trying to open
it.
You've been on a plane with me multiple times. Do I ever get up to use the bathroom?
No. Yeah, I think you also.
Yeah, you don't go to the bathroom a whole lot in general.
You're like, I think it's like,
I don't know what you're doing, but you keep it in you.
Do you got a class to be back somewhere?
I don't know about 40 year old being a sir.
It's all the old gum. He's been swallowing
This boy clogged up
It's like a can of flex seal in there
I used to scare the shit out of me when I was a kid what that the gum would stay in there for 30 years
Or whatever doesn't it? No, that's bullshit. How stomach acid not gonna
Kill gum Luke give that give that a look. Oh, by the way, how about a shout out to Luke you over there? It's working the ones and twos today
monitoring the modern modern in the
The the episode here kids really been pulling his weight that Luke Dempsey
It's gone. Yeah, see it dies or stop saying dies. You got me saying dies. You said dies you started me saying dies you said dies you started it
When did I say die you said it's got a kill gum death
The electrical and here we might
Yeah, the flips the switches are upside down. Everything's fucking backwards over here. She better not come back
That's yeah, nothing makes it's insane are upside down. Everything's fucking backwards over here. She better not come back. Nothing makes sense.
It's insane. The doors are so there's doors I can't fit.
I don't know what the fuck you're doing. It's all him.
Get trapped in a vestibule at a bar yesterday for like three
minutes. Some lady had to open the door for him and she could
have moved the fuck out of the way if she wasn't sitting there.
I could have maybe still not gotten through. Yeah, no,
you're you're you're all
behind enemy lines here the door but not it's not that bad I haven't not been
able to fit into a booth we've been jamming you in booths all fucking week
buddy only because they don't screw in their their tables of booths here yeah
thank God they don't have the technology yeah they have the half doors so it's
it's it's two doors instead of one connected
But it's one regular size door. That's cut in half. Yeah, not like two big doors
It's a little door like a cowboy door like a saloon door
Yeah, and that's cut in half and then you got a I mean they're tight for me. I've had to slide through
I've had to slide through dude. I don't fit in a lot of the bathrooms. I don't know what you're doing
I love the urinals though. The open urinals.
Oh, the trough.
You just pee everywhere?
Yeah, it's great.
It's like peeing outside.
Sir, this is the office.
What?
Please get out of here.
I got everything in Gaelic.
I can't read nothing, lady.
Just put some English on this, Joey.
This is a camera store, sir.
I gotta say though, what a place.
It's been fantastic.
And this is just the beginning.
We're in Dublin now and then we're heading out to the country
for a few days, going all around the aisle.
And it's all going to be documented and put on page.
You're going to a bunch of videos, a bunch of episodes from here.
So so so it'll be a fucking good time.
Everyone has been so sweet over here, except the hammer drunk kid
who poked his head out of the car and called me a pussy last night.
I've been a little disappointed with that.
Why? Because there's a gaggle of that for some reason.
It's just all like high school kids walking around in packs
wearing like high school, like, yeah, kind of school uniform.
Yeah, like soccer.
I think they get out for lunch and stuff and they go get lunch.
That's when we see them.
You know, I see the packs of we've we've gone by so many packs of them.
Not one of them has said, oh, look at the size of you.
I was hoping I'd get a little, you know, I'll do it for you.
You have that piece.
You're mixed it there.
They call this one that I was one of this one.
You want a girl's Catholic?
Pay some kids to throw rocks at Foley.
Come on. I was just walking down the street back.
I left you guys at the casino.
I was walking back to the to the spot. This kid's just hammered late. I was just walking down the street back. I left you guys at the casino. I was walking back to the to the spot.
This kid's just hammered.
Lada's just catches me and goes, Hi, pussy.
See, that's what I want.
I want the authentic experience.
That's all right.
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We did attend a shady casino. It was a very European, it felt like Bond-esque casino if it was full with swanky people.
The vibes of it.
Of the second one.
Oh, not the first one.
I was talking about the first one.
The first one was an arcade that was illegal.
Yeah, the first casino.
For folks that don't know, there's little casinos all throughout the city.
It's mostly video gaming.
There's not a lot of live dealers. So there's little casinos all throughout the city. It's mostly video gaming.
There's not a lot of have live dealers.
And you know, we like to get a couple in us
and then go, you know, have a good time.
Blow off some steam.
I mean, we drank about 40 beers yesterday.
Let's like, we honestly drank about 40 beers.
I know, I'm pretty sick today.
You were drunk.
I was fucking, yeah.
You were drunk.
You were so drunk.
I saw you at your drunkest at the casino.
Yeah. Yeah. What were you, You were so drunk. I don't. I saw you at your drunkest at the casino. Yeah, yeah.
And what were you?
What were you fucking?
What were you with the mayor all of a sudden?
You mother cabrini.
Fuck. Never touched this stuff.
You and your Joe Dirt hair you got going on right now.
You look like Joe Dirt's dad, dude.
Well, compared to Luke, everybody looked like senators.
Yeah. Oh, my God.
I had to bring Luke home.
He was getting horny back here too.
Watching the local news, oh I'd screw her, take it easy.
She's 60 years old.
Aunt Reery was fine with it.
Dude, just a running Aunt Reery.
Just a boy, he's got a little fire in him. Good thing Uncle Willie's out of town.
I the TV situation here is tough.
I think I just don't like it.
I love it. I love the only other time I've been
out of the country is is in France where there was a TV
and watching like the European Greece, too.
Yeah, but we know there was no TV
Or ever watch television in Greece. No, but where we were
or I
Christ I Don't remember watching they had TV obviously Tommy not saying their place isn't a TV duh, but in
of places in a TV, but.
In in France, it was the winter we were in the hotel a little bit more
and watching like the European news. I love it.
The European game shows are a little wonky.
This man, they had four of the dumbest Irish guys on TV.
They didn't know nothing.
It was crazy.
We watching The Chaser last night.
I don't even know. Yeah, it was called The Chaser.
This feels nice program. This feels like we're on a game show
Fully fat
Yeah, the game shows here are very like simple and the contestants are very dumb
And it's like multiple choice, and they always get it wrong, and it's like it just keeps going
I tell you what ain't, this Lucas aid is delicious.
Everything's like, yeah, everything's a little a little kooky.
It's the man, the cheese and onion chips are to die for.
Just just think, I know this.
This is a little silly little mushy.
But we were at Grave Diggers yesterday or the Grave Diggers.
This bar where Tommy was walking to the cemetery, one of the famous
so they say that they say it's the best pint of Guinness
It's very highly renowned as one of the best points of Guinness in Dublin
I don't we were sitting back there at a table having beers eating crisps. Mm-hmm
Everybody got a bag when you that's the sentimental part for you. Yeah
Everyone keep you came back with those taters. I
Mean you've had potatoes nine. I mean that's something I've heard about, you know, as a dirtbag Irish kid, I've heard
that my whole life.
That's one of the things that like...
They only give you crisps over there when you eat.
They give you potato chips at the bar.
I love the pub culture.
Obviously, I'm a big booze bag.
There's no way around that.
But the pub culture of like, we went to this other place, the long haul, where we bumped
into a fucking a Bozo.
Yeah, shout out to him, Paulie.
Yeah, but it's like carpeted, they're not playing music,
it's just the hang, it's just the vibes of like
there's no DJ, there's no fucking pinball machine,
there's no digital juke, you're just hanging
and having a fucking pint.
Yeah.
Which I was actually stunned last night at dinner, the only time that we did walk into a place
I want to know how fucked up I was I forgot we had dinner last night
Because we were literally sitting next to a dude that was belting out
That was the loudest bar that we'd been to live music
Yeah, it was live music and we were about two feet away from uh-huh two guys belting out Wonderwall in a high-top table
I'm like we're not eating here, right?
You can't be saying, yeah, why not?
I was you know how fucked up I was.
I shared a chip fish and chips with you.
It's crazy. That's that's how you know that I'm a fat piece of shit.
And I've had one. You've been sharing food with me.
No. What else did I do?
You gave me some of your bangers and mash.
Yeah. And a piece of your steak.
Threw it right in his face well I was done
eating the steak okay but yeah I get drained you know what I mean hey you tried my soup
yesterday no I should shut up you did you did you tried it I swear you did shout out. I swear chatter. I swear brown bread. You got your work
I swear after who's done eating it
I gotta stop drinking that's crazy. This is your scared straight. That's bad. Do you want to breathe in soda later? Oh?
Dude I hate this
You were pet strange dogs and stuff
Strange dogs dude So were you.
I think you were too lazy to bend down.
That thing was eyeballing me.
Oh, the one out front?
Yeah.
I had a man face on it.
That dog looked like a dude.
It looks like my Uncle Eddie.
That thing was, that dog was a dude.
That dog had a job.
You ever seen a dog with a beard?
Yeah. He had human eyes just like in. He was a scaffolder. got that dog had a job you ever seen a dog with a beard yeah he had human eyes
just like in he was a scaffolder working for men in black yeah that was a guy i was that dog okay
i i pet two dogs there were dogs at the bar i wasn't stopping people on the street sure there
were dogs at the bar that's not crazy i mean eating your soup with a fork, to me, that's one of the all-time crazy things I've done drinking.
Even like spring break and stuff like that.
Yeah.
Dude, ah.
What are you talking about?
I couldn't believe it.
You've been wearing the same shirt for four days straight.
Yeah, dude, what is that?
Can we do five minutes on this?
And then you went before we get started,
he goes, I think I have bird shit on my pants.
Were you at the zoo?
He also thought he licked the bird shit. I did I hope I think it was filling or something. Maybe his mashed potato
I
Hope it wasn't those bird shit. I'm definitely you've gotten shit on by a bird
What do you mean? They're fucking everywhere. How would it wind up in your mouth?
And how would you not know nobody gets shit on a little like you would know a bird shit on the front
You thought he was a statue of William Henry thoroughoreau. You, me and the idiots here.
It's food on you.
There's a 99.99.
But it had like a metallic taste on it,
because I went like that and then licked it,
and then not thinking, went like that and did it again.
Sad metallic taste.
All right, how much longer are you going to wear that T-shirt?
That's crazy.
It's going to be a lot.
It's going to disintegrate at some point.
Listen, I have clothes allotted for Dublin.
I have clothes allotted for the other stuff.
The other one t-shirt for Dublin.
I got one sock for Galway.
I didn't know how to pack.
How many t-shirt why this is insane that this is always you
have such a weird thing.
We're in the same sweatshirt for three days.
Yeah, it's wearing fucking we've been walking around.
I have I put I shower and put on a new one. I
shower every day. I showed it last night. We got back from
the casino hoodies different than a t shirt. Correct with
stains all over. Yep. That's like, that's not even my
sweatshirt has stains all over it too. This is the perfect
setup for really ganging up on somebody. Yeah, go ahead. I
feel like I'm only like the I feel like I'm on one of those
shows like after the last
Reality show of the season when they bring all the wrap-up
Start fucking throwing champagne at you. I've never seen all the footage of them talking shit behind closed doors
It's insane. The the street is right. You hear people breathing when they walk by that. It's crazy Don't you chimney sweep? That's like it. That's like a door, that's like a kick, you know, that's just a piece of wood right there.
Last night, I was nuzzled in bed,
ready to go sleepy time, and then through this,
the cold Irish quiet, I hear Hank FaceTiming his cat,
doing his fucking cat baby voice,
and I was ready to hang myself.
I thought you may have heard somebody outside.
Sharon, get back here. I just hear
Daddy's in Ireland really gang it up. I'd like to point out he has a lot of play
He also has a lot of stains on his jeans as well, I'd like to point out hey, thanks Tom
Hey, this isn't a this isn't your dry cleaning podcast.
We're going to wait 24 hour Martin Isaac would really help that.
Pick it up on Thursday.
I got to charge you the extra.
You shrunk my blazer. No ticket Tommy over here.
Thanks, pal. Yeah, I'm a little worse for wear, but I thought that was the plan.
Why is that not change for a week? No, we said that was the plan.
Nobody wanted to bring... You still have cat hair on your hoodie.
Yeah, that's crazy. You landed in another country covered in cat hair.
There was a cat on the plane.
I'm surprised Customs didn't get you for bringing animals across the...
You were a fucking poacher.
Is there even a bag of moles with you?
Where did you get this tusk at?
Hold on.
We nobody wanted to bring a check-in bag because we had all
the gear.
Okay, so I had also we're traveling town to town and car
so it's a lot we get and not everybody can bring a full-size
suitcase and the gear.
So I brought two pair of jeans. That's more than I brought one pair of jeans. Alright, three t-shirts, two hoodies. You brought three shirts for 12, 13 days. We're gonna do laundry.
Right? What is this week? Like we're gonna go to the club who the hell brings three t-shirts Yeah, I think I brought I brought at least ten t-shirts. I brought a minute. I mean, I brought twelve. Yeah twelve t-shirts Wow
So we got one more day left on the 12 pairs of socks. I brought seven pair of underwear
I brought my shoehorn. I brought my shaving kit and
I brought my my nice jacket and my
Canvas jacket and a stocking hat a winter hat. Nobody else brought a winter hat
Three t-shirts for a 12-day trip. That means you gotta be it means you have to do laundry four times on vacation
No, huh in unless you were that's the way he does it. Yeah, what do you mean?
I got it mapped out so you get three days out of each one that dude that's
That's we're just going around
We're recording a show and you got stains from five meals all over your shirt sweatshirt over top of it
I also brought my v-neck sweater in case we go somewhere nice
What plies the library which we've not yet been taken to a nice a nice joint
How do we've been blackout drunk by 4 p.m. Every day not to mention every every meal we've had you've been out there
Well, you just saw saving private Ryan for the first time. You're like that was an incredible experience
I've never seen anything like it in my life. Listen, you can say what you want. I've been off the Ozempics for a few weeks
I don't really think now are you serious? Yeah? Yeah, it's been spent a minute
Maybe now it's being sarcastic. Oh
That's what you eat one of your pairs of socks
Six shirts, but he ate three of them. I don't know what it is about the food over here
But it just it hits it hits some
prime evil
Instinctual button inside of me. I used that was that bacon and bacon and cabbage
I used a voracious to describe how you have been eating over here
Yeah, that really caught up to me that that the fresh at the French joint. It was just so good
I also thought it was he's giving you guys smoking me up a mold. I'm all drunk and drinking
It's hard not to look at I've been putting my steps in I
Got ten thousand the first day. I got ten thousand yesterday. We I got up and went for a walk. No this morning. Can we have any morning steps?
Hey, ten thousand a day doing alright. What did you say?
But also hey, we're on vacate like we're ever giving you a hard time obviously I said blow it out
I love that blow it out. We're all I'm shocked that you do do that
You do give me leniency when we're on vacation there when we're you know when we're first
This is the first vacation we've taken in three years, but yeah true blow it out. I don't I mean like
Now's not that I'm somewhat responsible and we're walking
I mean like this is where this is the crux of
hard feelings and us
It feels like we're harping on you,
because you go, I'm gonna keep it tight.
I've been keeping, like just go,
I've been, buddy, I've been eating and drinking
like a fat piece of shit that I am.
You still try to go, I'm doing pretty good.
You ate most of the entrees at dinner the other night.
So you can't say you've been doing all right.
Like, I don't, no one's holding.
Listen, you wanna say most of the appetizer's fine. You ate my, you ate my. You've been doing all right. Like I know you want to say most of the appetizers.
Fine. You ate my you ate my you ate anything that was left.
You were like a goldfish that couldn't stop eating.
Which is fine. But don't like you keep spinning this narrative.
I'll be keeping it. We were at the airport.
I'm going to keep it tight this whole time.
You had like 19 drinks before we got all the way.
I was like, well, you immediately started walking back and she's like, I'm going to keep it tight. And then like three minutes later, you're like, I'm going to keep it kind this whole time you had like 19 drinks before we got all the lives that was like sure why don't well you immediately started walking it back
he's like I'm gonna keep it tight and then like three minutes later you're
like I'm gonna keep it kind of tight keep it kind of I had to ask her I'm
gonna keep ordering yeah let it buddy blow the blow the fucking doors. I had to Oscar Schindler my bangers and mash from you yesterday
Tommy sneaking them out napkin
So I had to get it out of there
Yeah, no I get it how did Ireland does Ireland have a bad name for food? Yeah notoriously in my mind
Yeah, I
Yeah, I like the UK have
That it's it might be one of those things were like we're also not getting pizza
We're getting dude the bangers and mash is sausage and mashed potatoes with an onion
Onion with the brownest gravy and every place that we've eaten at.
So it's been like an oil change from a 92 to sell.
It's dirt bag food.
It's like, yeah, give me sausage.
Give me the sausage.
I mean, a lot of sausage over here.
But we're eating a lot of sausage.
And you just say that it's like a lot of sausage at breakfast, sausage at dinner, sausage at
summertime, baby. It's a lot of sausage. But I like like that those wings were the best wings I've ever had in my life
Wings we ever had
You remember Tommy. Yeah, plus the chips cut. I'm really great. The foods tight man. It's also yeah, but they're
The best was last night fully was dipping fries into something green. He was like I was like, what is that?
He's like, I don't know. It looks like guacamole. He was like, nah, I don't know what it is.
I thought that was guacamole for the longest time.
And I was like.
And I'm so glad you didn't.
I ate everybody's of that.
It was in a little ramekin that came on everybody's plate.
It was mushy peas.
It was like.
Sign me up.
I had a bite go that.
Oh, that's funny.
Cause I didn't know.
It tasted like a cross.
I remember he did lean into me.
He goes, that's not guacamole by the way.
Like he was letting me in on the big blue, the case open. Don't tell into me goes that's not guacamole by the way like he was let me in on the
Big blew the case open
Don't tell nobody but that ain't guacamole get while the gettings good
It looked like guacamole but also how stupid and drunk were we that I'm like I ordered bangers and mash and fish and chips
And it came with guacamole. I just talked it up that these Irish guys are nuts
and fish and chips and it came with guacamole. I just chalked it up to, these Irish guys are nuts.
I didn't, I didn't once go, clearly it's not guacamole.
I went.
These bums will throw anything at you.
Yeah, I'm like, man, I guess they do it weird over here, dude.
That's how uncultured I am.
Just assume they're giving you a Mexican side dish
with, with fried fish.
Favorite things, anybody?
My favorite things and like, is the pub culture,
it's just like, again, I just booze bag, but like I
love the you go in. I love the little boost that they have. I
love the just the fact that it's like two or three people
having a bit the fact of like going having a beer. New York
doesn't have that anymore. I guess Philly has it to an
extent, but like it's not like a scene. It's not like it's
hard to explain, but it's just going for a beer. I'm just
going to go get a bit of loud music the music's underneath the conversation
It's set up for getting hammered and talking shit
Yeah, but also the vibe like of where we had lunch yesterday
You kind of have to match the vibe and they all kind of vary like you got to be kind of quiet in certain places
Yeah
Like the way everybody was looking at us when we were coming into that place
Like it seemed like we were the focus for like the first 15 minutes.
We were walking into the bar at Star Wars. Yeah.
And then we got the gravediggers and you were already there and you said,
Hey, it's a scene in there.
It's like a bar full of morticians.
That's what it is. That's what that's originally how it started.
It was for the it was for gravediggers and the well.
Let me tell you, they nailed the vibe. Yeah, it was great.
I thought we were walking in like the Westies or something like that.
It looked like everyone in there was setting up a hit on their wife.
Just like you could do it for five grand.
All right. So she goes to the store on Tuesday.
I'll be at work.
Also, I don't think we do that.
We get a couple in us and then we start doing the accent heat that dude
I had a yellow. I mean we
We're all guilty of it if like we're just walking down the street making you know, hey
Just a little bit of being a song like it's out of admiration. I know it's but at the same time
I'm like, oh we got a fucking fucking up a little bit knocked out over here
I was literally two minutes away from the guard at the Guinness factory
What's this all about don't worry about it
But now you're going on a tour sir what's in there you'll find out soon enough a secret boy
you're going on a tour. Sir, what's in there? You'll find out soon enough. It's a secret, boy. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp Gang. How do you recharge? Do you need a night
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Do it, gang.
Yeah, that's a, there is like the,
I do love that though.
It's a very ball busty, rough and tumble.
They're like, everybody has a quip immediately.
You know what I mean?
Like even when you were, Luke tried to order like a raspberry beer if we went to the Guinness
They only have like Guinness and maybe like there they have like a new lager or something and then the the double zero
Free that they're they're pushing and looks like 13 the Guinness lager
It's hard to get a real 13 special. I don't know something like that
It's hard to get a gauge on whether the beers are actually
can I or not, because they're they knock them out of the doom.
So you not getting a Guinness at the Guinness
plant would be like getting peanut butter at the Hershey's factory.
Yeah, it's pretty wild.
You didn't have.
I mean, it was just summer and they didn't get in Hershey's.
Is Hershey's is known just as much of their peanut butter as their chocolate.
All right. Bad example. Alright, bad example.
Yeah, but they're not known, Guinness isn't known for their storehouse lager.
They're known for their ginny.
No, of course.
And I had a few of those, but I've been off the IPAs and I've been really focusing on
crisp beers.
Crisp beers.
All of the food in Ireland.
Is that where you put chips in your beer?
Oh, the crisps, please.
Also, hold on before we forget shout out to Michael, a listener who works at the
He all works at the tour on the Guinness factory. Yeah, shout out to you big guy. Nice guy. Good public speaker But yeah to your point of the bartender. He had bits already built in. Before I knew he was a fan
I was like, I was a pretty good. I leaned over to him. We have it on tape
Probably went that's a pretty good bit, but Luke was like I saw that you had the
Raspberry and the bartender was like oh did you?
Just like they
Right
Little orange thing yeah, not here
I I'm right in a little umbrella and a little orange thing. Yeah, not here. Now get out.
Um, I love that.
Yeah, I love that little edge they have to it's a it's like a it's very similar
to the podcast of like you were like not arguing, but you know,
it's like chess a little bit.
It's got a very East Coast vibe.
Everything over here. It's a little crusty.
It's a little rough and tumble.
Big cologne culture and perfume. I've noticed Europe is as a whole. Yeah.
Smells really good. The old ladies all smell really good. They all smell like my aunts
I can't reread and toady everybody does smell good and every dude has minus the miller like same hair cut
Yeah, everyone's got what the exact same haircut sure a lot of same faces to the same
It's all it's all the shaved side and the poof on top
Yeah, palm tree look away. How of a time man. Yeah, it's crazy that we're here. It's all the shaved side and the poof on top. Yeah. Palm tree look.
Hell of a tie, man.
Yeah, it's crazy that we're here.
It's been cool.
Yeah, it's been fucking nuts that we've been able to do this,
you know, five of us over here for so long.
It's just the beginning too.
We're gonna like, we said we're going to...
Supposed to be four.
Supposed to be four, but we were supposed to be here.
Let's, we were supposed to be doing shows.
And as you know, Tommy comes to all the shows.
Tommy opens up all the live shows.
Already got the ticket. What are you going to do?
So now we bought the tickets, planning on doing maybe one or two shows.
One or two. We're going to do London and Dublin.
And then the dates.
But you got to bring Tommy.
So you got to bring Tommy and the dates in the venues just didn't fucking work out.
So he canceled the shows.
The luck of the Irish.
Man, this can keep stepping in shit, huh?
The luck of the dirt balls is more like it.
Dude, I pulled up to that bar
and Tommy was walking out of that graveyard.
I was like, what?
Who did we bring, dude?
I literally, I killed the others, what?
I was.
He was getting kicked out of the graveyard.
Tommy likes a good cemetery.
I was two minutes away from being locked in there overnight.
Two. If I would have went the other way, I would went the other way, I would go back and take another look.
I was like, never return to the scene of the crime there.
Yeah, no kidding. They would have let you out.
I'm sure you're sure you could have climbed one of those fences.
They were pretty high, bro. An iron fence. Oh, man. Yeah.
Tommy, if you would have got stuck in there, it would have been great for the
for Patriot. Yeah, I would.
I would have stood there with you until the sun went down
and then I would have got the hell out of there. I would I would have stood there with you until the Sun went down and then I would have got
the hell out of there
I would have went straight to the listen
I would have went to a church. When the banshees start screaming
I would have said Hail Mary's all night for you from from from from the safety of the tabernacle
But man there is no way an Irish cemetery
That's like one of that's like from like the 1400s.
It wasn't a new one.
It wasn't something that popped up in the 80s.
No, no, no.
This thing was antique.
There was also two paths.
That wasn't made with Miami Coke money.
There were two paths, cause I went twice.
So the first time.
One for the living and one for the dead.
The one time.
You've chosen the wrong path, boy.
The one time I went down the right path,
and then the second time I went down the left path, and when I went down the right path and then the second time I went down the left path and when I went down the left path the guy locking the door was coming up
And he was like I'm locking up boy, and I said oh boy. I don't know but if you're not dead you're about to be
act accordingly, but
I was like okay. I'll hurry up and get out
But if I would have went down the right path
It would have never solved he wouldn't have seen me because he was I would have already done that and I would have probably
Been locked in but all well that ends well beautiful over there though. Got some nice pictures
Maybe I'll put them on my face of a cemetery. We did the same setting those old cemeteries are cool
There's it there's there's a real old one down in the financial district where Alexander Hamilton is buried at Trinity Church
The way you guys like to drink. I like to look at cemeteries
Let's play on Broadway
The way Tommy I'm sorry the way you guys like to drink I like to be like outside looking at weird shit like cemeteries and stuff
That's my getting really drunk sure
Everybody out
Both worlds you fucking you guys like going on having a good time
I'm looking in people's windows
You like socializing with your friends and creating memories. I like to creep people deal
Do you do you read the I?
Like to read the I like to read and say the names of people on their headstones out loud because I feel like that's bringing
Them back fight club shit back into life life He can't be can't read inside
It's true. I have trouble with it as we realize and baby
No, but I do that all the time like Cochran let's say John Cochran good job Johnny Cochran
Rest in peace. I know he was Irish
He did die. Holy shit.
Rest in peace.
I didn't know he was Irish.
On his mom's side.
No, I don't do that.
You don't do that?
I don't say that people's names outlay out to invoke the dead.
I feel like that puts their name back into the world, like they're remembered.
No, that's something my mom does.
I was riding with my mom recently and we were driving by a cemetery with our family members.
She's holding their breath. No. It's rude to breathe in front of the dead. and like we were driving by like a cemetery with like our family members
Damn Atlantic City lights, she just says hi to everybody. Hi Donnie. Hi, Joe Oh when you drive by the side, they're probably working in there
Probably grave robbing yeah Steve stealing someone else's flowers
We did the same thing my uncle Mike and Aunt Colleen are buried on my way to my cousin Kelly's and went and if we
Usually we stop But I guess for money
We think we were on our way out there to Christmas this year and we were late So I was you drove by yeah, we always say say hi. We do the same thing if somebody's in there. Yeah, okay?
Again, that's why I don't want to be put in the cemetery
I want to be cremated and put on the mantle hanging around all you guys. I know they got mantles and wawa.
Were you trying to get a little bit of it?
No, a little bit.
I don't just keep me somewhere.
Why is this my responsibility?
I'm not saying it is.
He did. He said he want to be around us.
You're they would go to your lady. Sure.
Do we create the T-shirt to probably watch her and her new man's
put that in the bedroom.
Oh yeah.
I know big mans, big man likes to peek.
Hey watchy watchy.
Get a GoPro on that, Aaron. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz I'm a looker. Hey, why is that jar of peanut butter looking at me?
That thing smells. Putting somebody in a jar of peanut butter is fucking brutal.
Is there a lens on that jar of skippy?
Oh my God.
We put him in a Peter Pan because he's going to be young forever.
That's right. Oh, man.
That's funny.
Oh, man.
Hmm. Yeah, I think.
I'm listen.
I don't know what you guys have planned.
We're out of Dublin tomorrow.
We have plans. You got all the you got everything planned.
I meant for doing.
I just want to be at the bar.
You guys want to go to church.
I don't necessarily want to go to church.
Church is five minutes.
I just want to see the inside of the church.
I know we're not. I was with you all the way. I didn't even leave you go to church church is five minutes. I just want to see the inside of the church I know we're not I was with you all the way
I didn't even leave you at the casino last night you wanted to hey are you about done?
And then I hit it big yeah, then he scores it big
Yeah, I think you're looking at the church all wrong
We just want to pop in say a quick prayer light a candle hop in hop out. That's all see the architect
Yeah, old-ass churches, man
Okay, take a walk to the cemetery. No, that's what I'm saying. Find me a grave digger
Find me a posted up at the bar. I
Think that's fair. I mean, of course it is sure
I don't walk kind of done our own things a little bit you want to drink after this like you're ready to go again
Not I mean listen no, but I'm in Ireland with the fucking boys
I go for a sip. Yeah, I know he's easy to get on board Luke Luke falls in line Luke needs a day
I'm part. I was ready to shove Luke out of that uber. I'll tell you that kid was a
Screamin wait you guys took an uber. No we took an uber from gravediggers last night. Oh
We were all screaming in that uber. Oh, yeah, we were I hope you tip that guy nice
My god, I remember I kept going I'll pay you with you take cash. He's like you already paid. I'm like no
I didn't he's like yeah, you did. Oh, it's uber. Hey, you were telling Luke. He was unattractive. I
Think that's fair
That's crazy man
I don't think I said he's on a trip I think I was trying to win an argument at the moment too, so I was getting a little mean also
He wasn't he was fighting back his place dog was barking at me. Yeah, we were all yelling in that uber
Yeah, that had to be painful for the guy, but it is what it is
We are turning into you know one great for me either
Keep ready to be sober through all that one lady did walk that one lady with the missing tooth walk bias
I can't remember who I told was it you
They what they saw us walking and they walked by me and she's like huh probably Americans
Look at their stories of all someone else said that to us too of like you're American obviously I forget who that was in the good
Dickhead thing
There's a little bit or something. Yes, like he heard us talk. Yeah
Yeah, you think you're from America, obviously, wait a minute. I thought that was at the casino
I think that was at the Guinness. No, that was the Guinness Factory. There's a guy who came up is like
Oh, what are you filming or whatever? I don't care. I just want to know I'm just following you guys around like David
Addenborough if you owed the IRS money. Yeah, the weirdest doc of all time
Watch these two fat idiots drink a pint
Luke you're not even hot
I'm a 38 year old married balding male. You are not hot the fat one will proceed to eat the sausages
As the skinny weird one walks through the graveyard.
As you notice, the big one steals the other's food.
As the sun goes down, the bald one is already intoxicated.
Making lewd gestures at the other skinny one.
You can see them making a big deal
of who's the most attractive in the back.
The leader is not taking it well.
No, I was saying we were all ugly.
That was my point.
It's like there's five ugly dudes in a car right now.
That was my point, which I think is a fair assessment.
I think you're not there.
That's crazy. Young, good looking.
We all stay. Yeah.
I think I'm a handsome guy.
But maybe in the graveyard.
Here, graveyard eight, baby
Can we get a one shot on the crows are whistling
They just think there's good meat on we started to talk about you two fucking tackling old women at the Guinness
Factor you get up to the top floor my god but the Guinness Museum you
guys ran through I never saw Foley go so quick fucking running suicides yeah we
had business together you have me learning about yeast and stuff it's like
buddy make good with the juice Kippy needs his ah juice I'm on medicine right
now let's go yeast hops and barley. Yeah.
What do I got a sinus infection?
Let's go.
I felt like I was so bad in those moments
where it's like, it is a very nice museum
or like, you know, experience or whatever
that you want to call it.
You walk through and they show you that they tell you
about the water that they use and the yeast and the barley
and the everything and the smoking process
and the all the, all the kind of shit.
And I'm literally, I go and I go, all the kind of shit and I'm literally I go and I
Go alright stand here and look like you're reading and I count to like 10 I go
Yeah, dude, it's so boring to fake read, you know what's
Read everything I've gotten busted by that by my girl so many times. Like if we're somewhere and like we're doing like a tour, she's like, what's it say?
I'm like, what? I don't know.
Yeah. You know, it's bad.
My wife can read quick English quicker than I can.
But if we're like reading an article on like on my phone, I'll go, yeah, it's something.
And she's like, OK, go. And I'm like, oh, I hate reading with somebody like that.
I'm like, I had to start over. Yeah.
When you guys when you got an easy eye, when you guys look up at stuff,
do you have to remind yourself to close your mouth? Yeah.
I don't know. I listen. It's so boring.
Why would I want to read?
I want to read about yeast.
It's like, dude, all the beer in the world is upstairs.
And it's like, I'm never going to fucking stay engaged.
Literally one of the. And I don't care.
The best of the best. Like, it doesn't get any better than that. I like toward the end of one. I can't get this at a Guinness
Factory you have it. Yeah, I did. I had a couple Guinness's right. Yeah, yeah, right
He also just switched. He also conned the
Samples too. He was the only person to have two samples
Remember in the little drink it they literally literally said don't drink it
Yeah, he said take it in the next room and you'll learn how to drink it You would have heard it if you went over there in the little drink it they literally literally said don't drink it Yeah, I said take it in the next room and you'll learn how to drink it
You would have heard it if you went over there in the corner counting
What me she should be to me we
Greeting about John Guinness
The black gates
Was a good time yeah that I mean that was that was really the only actual experience
that I wanted to do that in the the Jamison factory.
You are cultureless.
Oh, sure. I forgot about that.
Is that in town? I traveled more than you.
I experienced the real culture.
It's stupid. Oh, where are you?
Where even travel was?
No, we talk about I got you beat.
No way. Country wise way country wise I think so
May remember Toby was the one that knew about the sausage rolls
France Spain he's an innovator in my book every country in the UK except Northern Ireland
It's like two countries. That's like four. Okay, and then we got we're both through with them Mexico both in Canada
You got you got me on Germany. We used to it. These two are breaking up on time
Hate to see couples fighting. What are you doing? Give you love get over here
We've both been to Delaware County
Community College lovely this time of year
I don't stand on airs. I ain't been nowhere. I'm soaking it all in for the first time.
That's why I mean so many sausage rolls.
Yeah, that's right.
Shut the fuck up.
Let me enjoy myself.
Sure.
The bacon's this thick over here.
And dude, the bacon is undercooked.
We got, dude, we got, with the first, so we get here,
we drop our gear off.
The owner of our Airbnb owns a bar where he's like,
you can drop your stuff off there at the bar
and then just go out your day.
So I can look at all your shit
while you're walking around.
See who's wearing the sexy undies.
Come back, he's got my underwear on his head.
Hey, those are sheaths.
There were two big parachutes in the one guy's day.
What are you, it looks like the big fella
only brought one t-shirt.
So we go get a full Irish breakfast.
That was the first thing. We have Lukey-Padooky, looks it up, where we go get a full Irish breakfast. That was the first thing we have.
Luki Padukki looks it up.
Where to go get a good Irish breakfast.
We go down to Temple Bar Elephant and Castle or something like that.
It was called Nice Joint.
And man, every piece of meat was mushy, undercooked and cold.
And they gave you nine pieces of meat on the plate.
I could the blood sausage was OK. Not for me.
Well, dry. I thought it was awesome.
They had a separate. Yeah.
I wasn't crazy about the blood sausage.
They had. Yeah, me too.
I don't know if that was a home run in in in
in Ireland standards.
Yeah, it was not. Yeah.
But the bacon.
Sorry, Tommy, it's more like corned beef. I loved it.
Yeah, but there was two different kinds of bacon.
There was the bacon we had for breakfast.
And there was the bacon that we split at lunch and the bacon
we had at lunch was the best thing
I've ever had in my life.
Yeah, it was crazy.
You were drunk!
It was so good, man.
It was so good.
No, it was delicious.
It was like, the hollandaise.
Yeah, it was like pastrami.
Yeah, and that cream sauce on top, man.
Woo hoo hoo hoo!
Well, you guys say we get out of here
and go get some undercooked bacon.
I don't know what it is, man.
This place has got my number.
I'm happy as a pig and shit over here
Yeah, I did poop my pants
Really little on the nose um
By the way, there's too many dudes in this house for the antique plumbing and it is there's an open sewer pipe somewhere
There's a there's a clogged vent something's happening where we have to air this place out
They are not equipped for the behemoth dumps.
This crew is dropping through.
But I think they would, I mean,
there's bunk beds in the one room, right?
Mm-hmm.
Dude, that room looks Japanese.
That's how tight and like,
it looks like Luke is living in Japan.
It's, you look like a Japanese businessman in there.
It's crazy.
It's nuts. It's so there. It's crazy It's nuts
It's so great. It's in a different. It looks like a different part. This house is beautiful
They got it's all they got all the trinkets all it's painted very new but old and the nice kitchen and everything
But I mean your your your room looks different. I hate I hate European beds, too
They don't do it for me mine's alright Mine's OK, but like you can't get cozy.
Well, that's another thing, too.
I can't. And the two blanket system is crazy.
I know. But the problem is they're not heavy enough.
They're light. So like, you know, mine's nice.
I got to do it. I've been sleeping soundly.
I got two thick ones.
It's like a weighted blanket.
I got light ones where they like they don't fall.
If you like do that, it like stays up.
You know what I mean? Yeah, they're like, yeah, those cheap.
They don't they don't form around you.
I need I need I need a blankie to form around.
Sure. Like it's Parachute Day and P.E.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's crazy that we did that.
Why? Parachute Day?
That every kid in America did that.
That was that's wild to me.
But why is it crazy?
Just an incident.
Have you ever done it ever in the rest of your life?
I'm not in grade school anymore.
But OK, but you know what you're saying?
Every kid did it. What are you talking about?
That is like a common thing throughout America is that it's
a universal experience in the 80s and 90s.
Yes, it's almost obviously not 100 percent correct,
but it is a universal experience that a lot of people have.
Yeah, just like playing kickball or doing whatever in gym class.
Well, what it probably but that's not a game. Parachutes, not like that.
You see what I'm saying? It's not a game.
I mean, when they would just put that one, you know, just like every kid in America
at one point has just been like, this is the coolest day of the year.
It's parachute day. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
That's it. You never ever then played parachute after that.
That was the one and only time I've ever been under a parachute.
Yeah, skydiving. That was the only time I ever been skydiving.
Actually, folks, that's how I got my start as a stunt man. I wonder if they brought that in special or is that all?
No, this is what I'm just thinking. No, there's probably one guy with the warehouse with of course
Over there counting what are you doing? Yeah, what do we literally?
You did it a crazy school too. No, I went that was elementary school. Okay. Did you do it Luke?
Did you get into crazy school too? No, I went to elementary school.
Okay, all right.
Did you do it, Luke?
Yeah.
Did you do it, Tommy, in your halfway house?
Holy family, baby, class of 99.
Yeah, we had a good time.
What it probably was is there was one guy in New Jersey
who had a warehouse full of parachutes,
and he was like, I'm calling every school district
in America making this happen.
It was me, that was my favorite day.
We also did line dancing, too
Which is a little weird. I'd love to see who little seven-year-old give me doing the way to see my stinger
The other
Hello ma'am already bold just some you're you're fucking up all the steps, the coast is pitch black.
I was horrible at it.
I have your partner swinging around.
It was, it was that.
Got a little stinger.
Don't turn around.
Tuck it up, eatin' your belt.
Guys, everyone pair up.
Someone has to dance with Ryan, ladies.
I know you don't wanna
Dancing with the teacher
Yeah, I danced with the teacher what was his name
It was a
Think it was like somehow the numbers. What was your gym teachers name?
This wasn't the one I danced with but but our original old the one that got away.
Old school gym teacher was Mr. Smith and he was.
That's a pretty good Tommy.
I can't remember my gym teacher's name.
Off the top of my. Ours was Mr. Whitmer.
Whitmer's are a classic gym teacher.
Yeah. Track pants, white polo shirt tucked in.
Whistle, you know, athletic shoes.
If I can was in taught us a whole generation white polo shirt tucked in, whistle, athletic shoes.
Fuckin' was in. Taught us a whole generation
on how to shoot a basketball wrong.
Can you just?
The Whitmer W.
He was this, shoot it like that.
He goes, put up your Whitmer W's and you push it.
What?
Ruined my chance of getting the lead, dude.
That's insane.
Yeah, the gym teacher has to teach something else, right can't just be a gym teacher ours was just a gym teacher
In elementary school then they are then the other ones were when you got to junior high were mostly health
Yeah, that's kind of a good gig
I feel like they do like they do like in school suspension on the weekday on the weekends
Yeah, I was a draw that straw a lot probably get a lot of disciplinary stuff do
the cafeteria and all that crap
Fucking Jersey City's calling me yikes. That's America's problem
Buddy I'll call you when I touch back. I also like that too being being you know, oh, it's great
It's just us. We're here all the bullshit back in New York, whatever
Yeah, all Paul, you know sleeping like an angel with my wife. I know
They're gonna come back angry all your problems are gonna be fucking they're just growing right now
JFK like a limousine driver get stir Foley
But you never come
But yeah, I think that's it we got a fucking we got to wrap it up here gang what a fun one
It's been great. What a great trip
That we're having so much more ahead of us excited. You guys are fucking awesome
I love each and every one of you shout out to the fuck to the homies me army of garbage, baby
You're fucking this here. We can't thank you enough. We're gonna be doing bonus episodes on the patreon
They're gonna be hitting real soon. Mm-hmm
There's gonna be a bunch of content all going on a patreon There You're going to be, you know, we're not exactly sure.
It's all going to shake out.
But, you know, three to four videos or whatever all going out.
It's pretty fun because we've been acting like animals.
It's this is the most contained that we've been
by far, dude.
Check out Kippy special. Check out my special.
Grab tickets to the live show right when we get back.
We kick it off in Charlotte Nashville Atlanta and Tampa get those tickies and check out mr. Tom Cassidy's new pod with mr. Alex Pavone
Yeah, cat daddy and the pizza squirrel, baby ever you try to amour podcast something like that. Yep, baby
Gang we love you. We'll see you next week. Please. Peace