Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Trashy Christmas Special w/ Kippy & Foley!

Episode Date: December 26, 2024

Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a Trashy Christmas Special! We're opening presents, shaming the ones we love and answering your Christmas questions! It's a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live show! AYG & Friends: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Mint Mobile: To get this new customer offer, go to https://mintmobile.com/garbage VIIA: Try VIIA! https://viia.co/GARBAGE and use code GARBAGE! Shopify: Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gang, before we get the episode started, let's talk to you about Mint Mobile, baby. You heard us talking about it. One of the best in the biz, Mint Mobile. Fifteen dollars a month when you sign up. Absolutely fantastic. 5G network. You like that, Ryan Reynolds? Sure. Go look again. Get Mint Mobile.

Yeah, to get this new customer offer, go to mintmobile.com slash garbage. Forty five dollar upfront payment is required, which is the equivalent of fifteen dollars a month for the first three months on plans only. Speed, slower, above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan, additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply, see Mint Mobile for details, do it. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash Now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley Hey

Everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is are you garbage? Oh, yeah, little show we sit there with your favorite comedians and we find that it's good to be classy Yeah, just a big old piece of trash. Oh, whoa, whoa. That's right, baby. I'm your host, Tate Filly, coming at you on a beautiful day. Merry Christmas to everybody. Yeah. We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition.

She has started the holiday off on the wrong foot. Oh, god. A little trip to the emergency room. OK. She says it's her back. But I know her guy's out of town. It sounds like drug-seeking behavior. Exactly. back. But I know her guys out of town. It sounds like drug seeking behavior. What the

security guard at Lincoln all told me. My co-host is coming at you from across the table. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage? He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. And I'll tell you what, he's a gift that keeps on giving all year long. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan everybody. What up gang? First of all, happy fucking holidays. Get you a sleigh and some reindeer. Thanks for tuning in.

As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Also over there on Spotify, too, get in there, start rating and reviewing, juice those numbers. Let's go. Full video available on YouTube and obviously the greatest website of all time. A Christmas miracle some would say. We love you gang! Shout out to Sam Yam, Jack Conte and all the army garbage over there on Patreon.com slash all your garbage. Go over there and get all your holiday bonus content gang.

Yes sir gang. We cannot thank you enough for a fantastic year. We hope everybody's having a fantastic Christmas. I'm tanking over here. What are you talking about? By the time you hear this, I'll be in Hawaii with the family and I'll be on a nine hour flight back to fucking JFK. Hey, my bad. I'm I assume we'll be at some Thai restaurant or something like that. Whatever the hell's open on Christmas. I'm going to be looking for my bags and Philly International getting jammed up, dude.

Fucking, the hot man, I'm the gift, you are the gift that keeps giving, and it's coal every, every freaking time. I can't wait to see how mad they all are. I mean, we don't got a reservation or nothing. It's gonna be like a Corona commercial. We're gonna be sitting on the beach fucking sipping warm beers.

Trying to show up, get a reservation. I got 68 can you fit us in? Man the jam up Christmas of 2024 brought to you by H Foley incorporated wouldn't be anything. It was so funny We did that uh That park show is the last show it at last. Yeah much shout out to everybody that came out My everybody cuz you do a bit about it. Everybody's like, is he really getting married in Hawaii? Oh, Chris, as I said, you better fucking believe he is screwing me. That the people pulling you aside. It's getting big.

That was a that was a big talk of a big talk of the town. I had my so after that, you tell those fucking Philly dirt balls to zip it. They said I look like an Adonis next to you Goddamn answer part of you paying that till 2026 here to fucking Fuck I dropped my cap. I Luke I I got something I went around by because this is very I feel in your neck of the woods when it comes to the You know the holidays and the Christmas season.

Your dad left and your mom's not talking to you? That's pretty much yeah that's that's been it that's been it for about 15 years. No so every year it's just been since the kids have gotten a little older the grandkids. Okay what are you talking about? giving a stroke. Since my, my nieces and nephews got a little older, they, they like the theme style. We're going to do ugly sweaters on, on Christmas. We celebrate Christmas Eve together as a family. Everybody goes in separate ways. Sure. Um, hot dog roller and some stretch offs. Maybe, maybe a fist fight or two.

Now, me and my brother, we've been great. It's been going real well. Yeah. Um, but they want to do. Everyone wears holiday pajamas to the party, which seems a little sexual to me. I don't know, man, just in your mom's got a little Teddy on a little, little nightie, just like, uh, I don't know. I just like mom's got a little teddy on Little little nightie. Just like I don't know. I just like you sure. I'm just like a Frenchmaid So we're doing fantasy so who wants I'm stuck in I'm stuck in the garbage disposal Who wants to hold my blood by butt plug fob?

It just seems a little not plug fob. It just seems a little not. And they were I was getting called the Grinch, you're not, you're no fun. But I'm like, because I'm like, I'm not putting on. I don't know. It's just you guys did this. You had this party. Yeah. Did they show everybody show up wearing PJs? Some did. So a lot of the adults veto the kids. That's a kid's thing.

But don't we're grown men in our 40 sitting around and with our fucking, you know, fucking sausage flopping around eating trying to eat overcooked a fucking well-done piece of steak. Would you go commando? Thin layer of plaid separating. I got a nightie felony. My dick and balls are hanging out the bottom. Oh, sorry You got your sheets on yeah, I don't want to disparage the family name by any stretch of imagination, but... I think if you're having company over you put on a pair of slacks, it's freaking Jesus' birthday. Well, don't take this the wrong way. I'm going to.

Don't most of your family drink in their pajamas? What? Isn't that a normal thing? You're a fan. Come on. You're... you're you're from Vegas vacation What are you talking those old Navy bottoms and a starter Jack? No, we do jeans. Most guys do jeans in a sweater That's what we're doing and It just seems

Sly, I don't know. It's like just put on a pair of It's not for old out there. I just want talking about It's like just put on a pair of it's not for mold out there. It's just what I'm talking about. I've been not put my best foot forward. So you didn't do it. I didn't do it. Most of the guys didn't do it. The kids did but I was just like all the all the all the girls the you know my my sisters and sister-in-law they're like oh we're doing it. I'm like I ain't fucking I'm not sitting there grown men.

That's like what you that's what you wear to Franklin Mills Mall to cop a bag. That's how you use to go steal polos from the factory outlet. I'm not wearing that. You're on the body cam. I was Christmas shopping. Yeah. What are you talking about? I'm not doing it.

And also too, we have we had our we have our annual Sullivan Christmas party, which is about 200. I thought this is what you were talking about. No, that was- Oh, they wanna do this for Christmas Eve. Oh, okay, I'm sorry. No, I'm not sitting there with all my cousins and shit. I thought you were talking.

Oh, well that's nice, you could do that. Someone shows up in boxers in a beater. I gotta take a dump. I'm sorry, I was confused. No, not that one. I know you do the annual Christmas party with the whole family. I thought you meant all them wanting you to show up You can't be drinking at a fucking VFW and fucking pajamas. We upgraded this year

We used to do polonia the the polonia Polish Hall up there a Outskirts of a Port Richmond Bridesburg. They're all out on the front clothes for the weekend we On the outskirts of a Port Richmond Bridesburg. They're all out on the front. Clothes for the weekend. We switched it up to the Plumbers Union Hall. Ooh. The waterfall room. Whoa.

Yeah, it was. Just a bunch of busted pipes. I'm in there with a pipe wrench. I can't get it. Just on a side note, my algorithm has been serving me up plumbers fiction shit on YouTube Just all my uncles and shit They're bitching about the glass guy that did the job and they got me out there on a Friday night

I told him what was gonna cost they gave me pushback and That's what 90% so we had that Christmas party That's what 90% of it was. We had that Christmas party, went to that. All the girls, all the wives all sit together, watch the kids and all the guys just hang out by the bar, post it up. And I mean, it is like shop talk 101. Do worse cigarettes and burp on each other. That's a lot.

So that Gary can't get me to boiler in time. So I'm as I'm as backwards in his job. Those Swedish meatball burps must be fucking Shout out my cousin Kevin holiday surprise. He was doing side work with a miter saw for some broad and cut his finger off He took it clean off Clean off so we're sitting there just as you do on Halloween Christmas He's a fuck he's showing everybody the bill look at this God damn it dude trying to keep my Swedish meatballs down over here instead of doing the elf on the shelf He puts his finger on the house starts starts moving it

I Apologize if that's what they want to do Christmas Eve. Yeah, that's you'll be at somebody's house get comfy I'm not leaving my house in pajamas if I'm not just going to grab a quick pair of eaters. That's what pajamas are. I'm going over to your house. I mean, why don't we wear flannel pants and a pair of dress shoes? That don't make no sense. It's not supposed to be worn outside except emergencies.

That's good for the kids. We're in our 40ss grown men sitting around in their pajamas. Speaking of which looks like you got fired at the office Christmas party. Don't you look at you? It's been a tough year. Made a pass at a secretary or something like that. What? She was giving me the eyes.

It's the boss's daughter. He's still shaking off from SantaCon. Look at that thing. He's looking to slap in the back of a Corvette last night Hickeys all over yeah I like that. Yeah, I vetoed it. Hey, can I tell you this Merry Christmas Merry Christmas gang? We fucking we fucking love you's Shout out to another fucking awesome year shout out to the fucking homies and the bozos And I mean, yeah. Uh, what do you want to, I say we get into the present.

If we get into the press, that's why we're here to rubber install it. So as you know, if you've been following the saga of the Christmas extravaganza, there's been some ups and some downs, some bumps in the night, some bumps in the road, goddamn base, still sitting there for years. Some bumps in the bathroom. Hello. It's a, sitting there for four years. Some bumps in the bathroom. Hello. It's a it's a white Christmas. Gang, if you come into my Christmas party Christmas all year around.

So this year we decided to change it a little bit. Yeah. Because we had listen, we have bought each other a lot of gifts, some that we like, some that we don't like. I wore your Christmas gift. I haven't seen you just busted that out. No, no, I've been wearing it. That's a real derp.

No, I've been wearing it. I haven't, dude, I saw today. The other one I wore once, that toy watch he got me. See though, he's talking shit. Remember that thing last year? Well, sorry, not everywhere there's those five X clothes. Dumped that in the trash can for Uncle Leo. Deep cut. So also like, you know, we've got each other presents last year and you're like, oh this is sick, but then they kind of just live at the studio.

We've never really used them. Luke, go get my Lego. Putting that thing together. Which I think Ryan D is listed on Greg's list at the moment. So we wanted to do something a little different, something a little more nostalgic of child. You know, we're not good gift givers, really. OK. I think I am. OK. You still haven't used that pizza oven I got you last year. You haven't used anything anybody's gotten you. I need to watch them. You gave me, first of all the pizza oven's about 98 pounds.

How the fuck am I getting? Oh I'm sorry, I bought you quality. Stainless steel. That's got to get concrete reinforced. Once you get the mold out of the house you better be fucking putting out Zaz like Chrissy Pizza. I'm looking forward to it. So this year we wanted to do something a little more nostalgic. Yes, we got

instead of We got each other gifts as a team So like me and Foley got Luke gifts Luke and Foley got me gifts me and Luke got Foley gifts Yeah, and I think I knocked it out of the park with everybody you if I'm being more specific Well, you better I'm gonna be very difficult to be around I will I'm not listen. I am known for throwing tantrums I know I thought told the story on honeydew about the Christmas that I was playing my brother's toy because I didn't get what I Want it and my parents and I'm getting into a huge fight and my dad pulled out of the driveway for a couple hours

And my mom laid there on the couch listening to Lionel Richie. And she got that album that year. I can't hear that song without having a fucking massive panic attack all night long. Ah, scream it. Hello. This sends me right into it. That's what the holidays are about, baby. Right. Trauma. Repressed feelings. I was talking about my mom.

We were down there. We were talking about how my wife is very interested. She's never met my father, my wife. Obviously. She's very interested in the breakdown of communicate, like what the relationship has been. And Christmas, we were talking, it was always such an indicator of how the year was going

for, like, for the family unit. Got you. Because some years, it'd be me, my brother, my sister go over there. We'd wake up at my mom's, whatever, whatever. My brother's sister, as they were older, we'd all drive over. Mm-hmm. Then it'd be like, it'd just be me and Danny one year, because her, my sister, and him were beefing. Then it would just be me.

Then it would just be Dan. It was like like there was one Christmas where we were all together. What he decorated all over there? Yeah, he did a treat. It was always too big. That was about it. That's really what he did. The single dad getting the big tree. Yeah, but he had to really wow us. Here you possum just falls out of it. It's like trees dead. Possum just falls out of it. Smell like a goddamn forest fire in there. Oh, nothing like a heater in the winter. Reek in when you walk back in. But yeah, OK, so so we did it.

We did it. Please explain. We did it according to our childhood age bracket. So you guys got me stuff from the from the 60s Got me some lead paint it's it's a cup and ball on a string Pigs playset Just got your old pennies to pitch goddamn Kennedy really screwed them up. There's no air support talk about a screw job Castro's taking the beat. He's coming in.

He's going to lose your turn. Ha ha ha ha. Ahhhhh. Ahhhhh. Jack Ruby doll. The deep cut. I don't think so. This whole thing's a setup. Hey, gay little mini book

depository depository. I want to be Governor Connolly. That was a deep. I want to be House Representative Steinfeld. What? He was in on it. Obviously, he's the one who pulled the trigger.

And we got you stuff. So we got you stuff from the 80s of what we tried to pick Luke stuff from three weeks ago, which is crazy to try to buy because that stuff so we we were like, alright when was everybody 10 around that age? What was the hot stuff? So for you that would have been mid 80s for me. It would have been mid 90s going ludes Get you some disco biscuits got me a VIP table in studio 54 for me my boys getting back from nom What year were you born 1997 it's crazy. Yeah, so we did like mid we tried mid two thousands and I was on heavy drugs

Already the young whippersnapper coming into the world. Sure. That's not like a spoon in his mouth whole cutlery set. OK. And you early 2000s. What? Right. No. Mid 90s. Mid 90s. Right. I think you're having an acid acid flash. Kibbutz, I'm a via via gang. Need a break from the crowded stores and the endless gift lift.

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this holiday season enhanced every day with Viya code garbage 15%. Do it. Kippy, Shopify. Shopify, Shopify. Do you use Shopify? Baby, are you garbage.com is a Shopify website, dog. Man, if you're looking to grow your online store,

you need Shopify. Yeah, we got a lot of guys out there, a lot of guys and girls that own a... A lot of hustlers out there trying to step the game up. Yeah, they got some sort of business where they're selling stuff online. Shopify is for you, gang. We use it.

Well, I don't know how else to say it. We use Shopify. You bought a t-shirt, a pack of cards? That's Shopify, baby. Mm-hmm. Shopify. Nobody tells selling better than Shopify. Home of the number one checkout out on the planet number one

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Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash garbage. All lowercase, by the way. Don't go uppercase like a dork. Don't fuck this up. All lowercase. Go to Shopify.com slash garbage to upgrade your selling today to Shopify.com slash garbage upgrade your son today Shopify.com slash garbage do it Yeah Alright, so here. Let me let's do Luke first. Let's do Luke Luke has his over there

Yeah, so Luca Luke can open up do the kids first and a parents go of course I want to go last is there one I should open up first. I guess Ryan D did open up the little one first Yeah, that's the big one dumbass Wait, I just said the little one. I just said the little fucking kids don't listen fucking brat You want to ruin Christmas that might be a little bit? You want to tell I see what you're doing tell me you want to do you want to ruin Christmas wait somebody get me a Marlboro red Let's make this thing authentic, dude. I Dressed the way my dad did every year for Christmas. Mm-hmm. I

Don't know if you know what this is you probably know I was a huge Bakugan kid Did I felt like such an omega I don't know what this is but it said the kids loved it It was big in 2007 Bakugan had a year in like 2008 Dude do I need chopsticks for this? It came from Taiwan Battle we're gonna battle so it's like what is this like battle bots? It's like you spin tops or something remember Beyblades where you show everybody It's like Beyblade yeah, where you like rip it like a lawnmower kind of and like it shoots out.

Oh yeah. And then they fight each other in like the little ring. Oh, that's alright. Hey, I just got stoked. I just saw Luke's face. Ah, there you go. Christmas, that's it. That's all it's worth. What the kids? You know, look at a kid's face. That's fucking sick, boys. Makes it all worthwhile. Make sure you clean up your paper. I'm not going around cleaning up wrapping paper. Throw it in the fire, which is the pro move That is a yeah, you had a fireplace you fucking bastard threw it on the neighbors lawn

For parking in our spot all right now. It's the big one this one you have to know what this is I feel you know this is right now Couple ankles a couple ankles on the Razor scooter I want to see you riding that around I'm taking that for a sick run Don't leave that in the fucking driveway break my fucking nice. I'm getting home tonight Zip it around that's sick. Thank you. They were that would they hit mid-2000 They were and in tradition of the mid- 2000s no helmet no knee pads no elbow pads We're all doggin it all right get me mine. Thank you boys fucking yeah Excuse me ladies and gentlemen

Three minutes Now Yeah, these I gotta be honest there's about three three that look real small and I'm not happy about it. There better be keys to a fucking Lexus in there. Just fucking sign and drive of it. That's from our good pal Ryan D. This is from our boy Ryan D. This is for Hansi Pansi Shyamalan. Hang on a second.

Oh shit, he got him! Wow. Talk about the Marlboro Reds. How you doing? Ah, that's so cute. That's great. So shout out to everybody that sent me these. There's a viral dog toy going around where you give your dog your eaters,

and they run around. It's the cutest thing in the world. That's pretty good. That's crazy. We were just talking about that a week ago. Uh-huh, that's awesome. Shout out to Ryan D for doing that, Ryan. He also did all the lovely decorations.

And all the wrapping of the presents. And all the wrapping of the presents. And all the wrapping of the present. Like a true broad. Couldn't operate without him. We love our Ryan D. Okay. Alright. Mr. Pants.

Is there an order to these? And also who did the picking out? Because that was me. I landed those on you. Who did the picking out? Let me see that. I think dude. That goes last.

Yeah. I think dude that goes last yeah I think I have an idea if I'm being honest with you can open that one first if it's socks I'm gonna be pissed actually got a pair of dirty socks on right now I can use you change mid show we'll be right back folks oh Shit there you go soccer soccer boppers. I think these are knockoffs. I think it was soccer You guys got me the fucking top the Bezos they can Shout out to the rock. I think it was rock. No that was rock. I'm soccer robots. Just don't punch too hard They got asbestos inside More more fun than a pillow fight dude these started World War three should have got to so I could have fought the Yes, you fuck do righties you do like the old Irish guys you tie your one hand together and just start fucking Meeting the center of the ring and have at it

These things are dangerous because you catches you catch the seam on these that'll cut with enough face enough torque will cut you That's sick. I never had them a little cousin caught me to nuts with them one Yeah, you can open that one next it's a big target. This is a this is sick I've never had these never had them them. Always wanted them but sure. No way Denise was going. No. I'm gonna like that's. I mean you and Danny. No, that would have been and also like cuz he just wanna warm and just beat the brakes off me. You know what I mean? I wouldn't even got to punch back. Let me see this

real quick. That's all that's man. Right? That's really sick. Home freaking run. Air inflated for soft,, safe fun. I don't think so. It's kind of the Mandela effect because that's the real name. I thought it was Rockum Sockum too, but those soccer soccer boppers. Soccer because it was Rockum Sockum robots. I thought these were just Sockum boppers, but that's the name. That's the original soccer boppers. Yeah. the name. That's their name. That's the original soccer boppers. Yeah. Tight rope up two players

stand with both feet on a string or line. Use one soccer bopper inflatable boxing pillow. Put your other hand behind your back. This is what the travelers in Ireland use. This is five points rule, dude. This is this is this is the

butcher does this stuff and make sure you take your ear as a trophy inflatable boxing pillow. Put the other hand behind your back. The first one to fall off the line loses. Oh, there you go. One foot sock. Two players, each place one foot on the same piece

of paper or other flat object. That foot must stay stationary. The other foot can move wherever you desire. Use both gloves and swing away. First player to move the stationary foot or fall off the paper loses. I'm surprised they still manufacture those. That's crazy.

I know. Warning, do not use excessive force to pull your hand out of soccer boppers. This could cause arm injury. If you experience difficulty removing your hand from soccer boppers, deflate or let the air out before attempting to remove your hand. Is a children's toy not designed for adult use?

We're gonna put that to the test. Used by adults could cause injuries. Do not hit anyone's face or eyes. What? Play only in open areas away from sharp objects you can fall and avoid contact with sharp hot surfaces. Hot surfaces? Do not use the subtle disputes.

Do not use the subtle minor debts. All right, you can open this one next. OK. This is your big one. I have a feeling I can clock that one. Who says that? I do. It's a goddamn comedy party. What do you want my dad? What do you think it is? By the way, I think I paid for all these. If we're being honest, they all came in my name. He used my Amazon account. He didn't even try to throw me

off the set. I was getting emails Where's this big screen TV? Oh? Shit the Tamagotchi the original virtual reality pet that's for you Wow you know the girls at the sleepovers I had one They were big. I loved soft. I mean, we are wait. What did they come back? Yeah, they came back heavy. Now, really, you had one, too. Eight or nine. They were they were impossible to get.

Like you would go to stores like now we're out. We're out. We're out this time. I had a fucking I got a backlog. And he back ordered. He's saying I was able to. Somebody was able to realize that you could change the date on it and you could just because it was like, hey, mine's a day old, two days old, a week old, that you could change the date on it and You could just because it was like hey mine's a day old two days old a week old that you could change the date on it And it would just make it like a hundred and fifty years old and you would like win the game or whatever Well, that's pretty sick. That's very of the time. We're gonna be watching Make sure you take good care of it. And then this is your big gift. Okay, okay

The big one and then a little something to go with it This is your big gift. Okay. Okay. The big one and then a little something to go with it Stop it what? Ruining everything just open it shut up. You are just your mother You just are just negative. No, I got a goddamn quiche in the oven. It's gonna be burnt Everybody knows you're just reading beats in there We are having quiche right? I was to keep we always had a quiche oh Shit a Craig It's a disc man a personal is a Craig. It's a Craig dude a personal CD player

You're getting a Craig man with earphones. You're getting the Craig. You're getting a Craig. We couldn't get to Sony here in time Well my card was no good man talk about an uncle trying to that there's nothing about kids a Craig those are just porn DVDs What's the skip proof on this thing? What's the skip proof on this thing? You don't even have this is this dude this was bad for fucking 96 you need to be standing perfectly still Would you guys get a time machine to find this this thing stinks? What are you talking about?

Craig you guys got me a Craig I own a goddamn production company. I can't be walking around with a Greg Every Greg I know as a perk it's only he's wouldn't come in at time Look, they're gonna think I'm a terrorist walking around with this thing This is a dead giveaway of a Russian guy trying to fit in now. Thank you very much. You're welcome. You're gonna love this guy trying to fit in. No, thank you very much. You're welcome. You're gonna love this. I'm assuming it's a CD. Some batteries. It feels like a double disc. Am I right? No. Or it's two different ones. Look at you. You work for the school newspaper. Open a goddamn thing. Give me a genre. Come on. Rock? Yeah. Come on. Oldies. Oldies? Well it's oldies to him. We got you Glenn Miller's greatest hits. Rock? Yeah. Come on. Oldies. Oldies? Well, it's oldies to him. We got you Glenn Miller's greatest hits. Open it up. We know what you like.

Slipknot? Steve Miller band. Oh, shit. There you go. G unit beg for mercy. I got to be honest with you. I was bumping it yesterday on Spotify Shout out to Lloyd Banks 50 cent Tony Ayo and young buck. How you doing? Oh Man this is when they this is when a rap group could put out a hits Let me tell you this is a bitch. I mean this looks pretty good somebody. What are you degrade? There's no play button, but and obviously get rich or die trying How do you even get CDs now? I don't know how these ear things are gonna fit in your ears We get you buggy your batteries to executive producer dr. Dreta. I'm not that thing probably plugs into the wall

What are you talking about that? Like a walking around with an extension cord go far with it. That's awesome. Thank you guys That's a fucking hole very Christmas pal Home frickin run gang. Look at this. All right, let me see. Let me grab the big man here. Yeah, let's go The order there's an order involved these are dealer meal cards, I'm gonna be very upset I Don't know bunch of Weight Watchers fucking protein bars. I I don't know. Bunch of Weight Watchers fucking protein bars. I don't know. I'm excited. I like that there's an order. Oh, go this. Yeah, go this one.

This feels like clothes, man. What the fuck? Whoa. Don't touch it. There's pubes on it. Open this first? Uh, yeah I think so. Whoa! Simon! You're gonna hate it cause you're never gonna be able to beat it. Wow!

Never had a Simon. Cousins always had it. Smart pricks. Trying to embarrass me Supposed to be a holidays have a good time. I always wanted one. That's the og Simon. I forget how you do it Oh, yeah, push the green and then you got to do the pattern right? Yeah, it was like the original bop it ours was bop it God what the fuck it's like a gorilla trying to get on the internet That's very nice. I always wanted a Simon there you go look at that

But I think that should live on the set if I'm being honest with you no Okay, of course I think this one I think I bought these this is used This is original listen you I we spent the most money on you first. Really? What? No way. Uh huh. 1985 GI Joes. Get the fuck out of here. A whole crew of them. Whoa.

Whole squadron. Damn. Yeah, they're all individually wrapped. We should have unwrapped them. That's a dreadnought. Oh god, that's a garlic knot. Here, give me a couple of them. I can unroll them over here. Yeah, give me some, too.

I'll open them up for you. You're killing us here. You can't even get the... You can't even get... They're all taped up! Here, give me two. Let me get them. I was in a bidding war on eBay to get these are you serious really I did the buy now price

Okay, I ordered them like three days ago. Here's this guy gimme gimme looks like a porn star Wow who's that? You know that guy. That's one of the dreadnoughts. I don't know his name. What are the dreadnoughts the dread? Oh looking a little dick is broken. That's how you know it's original Yeah, they're break off. That's fucking sweet. I had that that one came to my house They'll little freaky naughty Adam the dreadnoughts were Zartan's boys They GI Joe's yes our tan was was a was was a was a Cobra agent But they came in like these are bad guys these are these guys are guy you guy isn't. This is, I can't remember his name. Gary. Gary Sinise.

He's a Native American guy. Hey, how are ya? This is a guy. This has got to be a good guy. Let me see. Wow. Yeah, that's like Firefly or somebody like that. These guys sound like fucking dorks. Wow, these are original. Yeah, man loose legs. I love when the rubber band in there probably right? Yeah the rubber band I love when they get loose cuz that way they can look like they're falling and stuff like that

I'm bent their head their legs behind their head really getting all and then we got the doctor. That's pretty sweet How do you guys getting these open by the way? We're not slow children You can't open these up. You think you're going to figure out the Simon? I don't. The hell's that guy? That's my boy, Bill. Oh, this guy right here. This is snow job or something like that.

OK, I had his vehicle. It's called a snowball in my house. That's fucking awesome. All the 80s kids out there. This is these are great fellows. That's fucking awesome All the 80s kids out there. This is these are great fellas That's fucking awesome. Thank you came and do it or did they came and do it came and did it? I know about this dude though It looks like he's on peyote, dude

Wow, well put these and put a couple of these up. Yeah, I'll see which ones are my favorites I know you like playing with them. Wow. I just didn't know enough about them Yeah, this is I like the fact that there was an eclectic group. That's why I got them I'm like whole like the I can't remember his name, but this guy's a medic poor bastard called Caught it a D day Rest in peace Jenkins. Wow, these are really good. And then this I can't remember this guy's name That's the guy that cried in that commercial

When you threw this when you threw the beer can out the window, you know, it's a very successful casino in upstate New York Now he had a he had a bird with him. He had a hawk with him. I can't remember his name I think Native American GI Joe Like winds with something or Keep guessing. Uh. Four feathers? Spirit. Spirit. Are you sure that's not the name of the bird? They said fictional character Spirit. Spirit, that's pretty good. Yes, he's a good guy, he's a good guy.

I wouldn't call him Splitting Sevens. pretty good. Yes, he's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. I call him splitting sevens. He's I think this might I can run a who might he might have just been he might have just jumped in along for a ride. He's from a different outfit. That's great. That's a home run. Yeah, I would have I would like 10 year old 50 year old me loves it. Sure. What do you got here? It's a pair of roller blades. It's a pair of ski boots No

Fucking uh-huh I? Figured I dropped the ball a couple times. I was a bad gift recipient once or twice once really I had to had to pull Out all the stops for the big man. This is it That's the original dude original box headquarters command center. Yeah, that's a real GI Joe a real American hero I might start crying PS. You owe me four hundred eighty five dollars Had a fucking overnight that thing too Is this is everything in here open it up, I think so yeah. It's got, it's got the original tape on it.

Dude, that's crazy. Definitely got bed bugs in here. Oh man, I don't like old stuff. It's all in pieces. Okay. We might have to put this on the set. That is fucking sick. I think it's too big, I don't know where it would lay.

I think, I saw the, I mean it's a big. I don't know where it would lay. I think it's like I saw the pig. I mean it's a big That's something else Well there you go big dog Look at that dude. That's crazy. Huh you never have remember you saying you never had one you always wanted one I Got you the old fucking G dog boom. I did have one. Oh, did you? It was your cousins or something. Now, I had one of these. I wanted the plane, but

whatever. Jesus fucking Christ. You fucking snut those kids. I'm kidding. I got this. We're living in Wilkes-Barre Highland Drive. Okay. Nineteen. 8586. nineteen Eighty-five eighty-six. Mm-hmm big Christmas Okay, not that got smurf towels got a tank Patty hooked it up said everything up real nice Next day we went down to my cousin's in Bluebell stayed down there for a couple of days

drove back To the house at night Get there the house. Drove back to the We used to keep our German shepherd Mike in the laundry room. He was freaking out when we came in. Oh, I I remember this. My dad opens the door.

He had scratched the the door so bad. That's like, what the **** is up with this thing? Puts one of the leash starts taking them outside. I'm standing on the Porch of my house two dudes run past me run out go out the back window two guys that robbed our house Cops come is this the first thing I thought if they stole my fucking GI Joe headquarters. Oh shit Yeah, because it was all set up. I went over the boys were safe Took my mom's wedding ring And a necklace that a dead mother had given my dad's head stash of pks was gone

Hey got the floor safe Yeah, I remember the cops came and I do I couldn't sleep that night Because we went upstairs into my parents bedroom and the curtains were hanging and you could see a mark Where a guy had pulled the curtains because he saw us come in That's what I'll think about every time I believe it's Christ man you are I mean this is great you are trauma wrapped This is fucking great GI Joe headquarter. Mm-hmm. I can get some other stuff and put it in I put the tank in there I'll get the chopper to put behind it. Yeah I should set up a little playroom here. Oh, you should not

I should this is a place for people to see when they come in This is a place for work and you don't really do that that much. I'm gonna put this on the coffee table. No Can't wait where my sandwiches, you know, I like my sandwich Where do we eat my sandwiches? You know I like my sandwich. That's great. Yeah. Happy? I'm ecstatic. I feel like you got the short end of the stick. Yeah, I think so too. You got me a fucking Craig. You got me a Craig CD player. I mean, you could at least got me the cassettes for the loom. We did drop the ball on that. I mean, you know, thank you. I'm happy. I'm stoked. Shout out to Gene and I'm glad they're getting their residuals.

Glad they're wetting their beat. They're getting the royalties on that. I'll let you pick one of my guys. Here you can have that guy. This guy don't belong. Waterboard this guy. Can't have this guy. What's this guy?

Snow job? That's sexual. Something like that. It's a snowball snowman. Snow job snow job. See what about the medic? Can you give me the name of the medic? Met medic African-American gentlemen.

Doc Doc. There you go real original. I don't know how to know this guy We got spirit and then this dude looks like the dude that the predator got I can't remember his name But I know he's a good guy, and I know this is a direct dude. These are man. Let me tell you something They were so you could do so much with them all right when you're when the when the Star Wars one So man, I got you I Got a fucking Greg. I got dude. I just relived your childhood for you

And you let Luke pull it. We let the Luke pull Luke pull the trigger on a fucking old Knock it was and that was a knockoff back then we didn't know it looked that bad We tried to get your dad in here but he said no. I'll go for a carton of smokes. Bet MGM is an official sports betting partner of the National Hockey League and has your back all season long. From puck drop to the final shot, you're always taken care of with a sportsbook born in Vegas. That's a feeling you can only get with Bet MGM. And no matter your team, your favorite skater, or your style, there's something every NHL

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To learn how wah keeps you going The start the Star Wars toys sucked they only went like this you couldn't really play with them But then these came out and fucking they could do everything. Why Star Wars didn't use these? Plus it was a goddamn 80s. We're in the fucking middle of a Cold War. So it was all war. And once they loosened up, man, whoo!

I'm surprised all their thumbs are still attached. That's usually what went first, is their thumbs broke. Well, ever since the Geneva Convention, they're not allowed to do that enough to POWs. Man, what a home run. Thank you, fellas. That's great. I can't wait to set this up. Diesel. Set up a perimeter. Load the claymore. Sure. Um, but yeah, that's I mean, that's it. That's a Merry Christmas for us. You got shaft, but yeah, that's I mean, that's it. That's a Merry Christmas for us.

You got shafted. It's fine. That always gets you. Got the pizza oven last year. Dad gets shafted. I'm just happy. My wife, my fat wife and my snot. Those kids are happy. You know, that's all I can ask for.

Huh? Maybe throw a move on you later. You're going to ride your razor scooter around. Fuck yeah. Will you help me set this up? Obviously. Yay. Do you think I'm not going to do a You're gonna ride your razor scooter around? Fuck yeah. Will you help me set this up? Obviously. Yay! If you think I'm not gonna do a tail whip on that razor scooter, you're nuts.

Break your ankle. Oh yeah. That's the gift the dad gets for himself kind of too. Yeah, let me take a look at this. If I can roll it, roll an ankle. All right, well I'm outta here. I mean, I knew we should've waited till the end for them. I mean, I gotta say.

But, that's when you know he gets frazzled. I knew I knew we should have waited till the end for them. I gotta say But That's when you know, he gets frazzled. They get the good but they get the good the good the good the good the pause for A minute check it out. I Hope all the pieces Did they say all the pieces were there? I Mean if I felt like they charged me for all the pieces if I'm being honest with you How much was a lot? 400 it was hundreds of dollars.

More than 400? I forget. Your whole total package was more than $400. Give me the amount of a Craig. What would you guys drop on a Craig for me? I got a guy. Do you have the number? In my head, I know. You know for sure. Yeah, pretty close. All right. Now let me pull up my number then of

what what you spent. Yeah, this is what Christmas is all about. I mean, it's not going to dirtbag Christmas without a little bit of face throwing. Okay. What what did you I want to set this up so bad. What does it Craig go for? Hold on. Let's do Craig last. Oh, this one's yours too. It's a broken ornament. Thanks, man. Uh, snow job.

I got dudes to man the fucking thing and I can put him in the jail. There's a jail in there. Things get weird after a dark day. And maybe this guy, this guy could be a good guy. I don't know. Hawk maybe. Google GI Joe. Are they GI Joe? These are all GI Joe. GI Joe with Hawkhead. Hawk helmet, Hawkhead. Now there's a hawk. I think it's just his is hawk. Now, does he look like this dude?

I can probably get you the list of them if I can get into my goddamn friggin email over here. I believe it's General Hawk maybe. No, General Hawk is a different guy. He's a fucking high and tight guy. He got nice haircut. He was a run run in the whole show show which they were really just mercenaries when you think about it they're Mercs black ops tier one guys fuck you up you know what them looking

for you plus spirit he track you down find a fucking bag of blow at the tunnel straighten me out Doc sweet got Doc take here, but I need weapons. I'm gonna need coming to pack of guns I'm gonna need to get because there's two parking spots there Yep, there's the part for the tank and I'll get the fucking little truck a little four by four to Jeep Hummer or hummers though gotta worry about those high lines. What do you got? I'm looking. I get the helicopter too. That's why I need to tank the Jeep and the helicopter. That's the shipment. I had a, dude, I had to register for a website

I never heard before. It had me freaked out. Man, originals. That's crazy. These guys are just. I take care of ya. Thanks buddy. Gotta keep the big man happy and toys, you know what I mean? What a fun Christmas.

One of your CDs didn't come. What was it? It was a Cyprus, Ilse. Oh, my God. Who am I? Have you ever met me? It's from Dubai. I don't even smoke weed. I mean, I like I didn't need the whole album.

You've made a purchase. Here it is. Yes. From some weird old guy. Mercy Ari. Okay. Shout out to him. That was $305. Yeah, that is the big one.

Thank you. 305. I'm guessing all the pieces aren't there what no 500 mint condition Either he's not a he's not my in my chat rooms Patty got me all the pieces Patty wouldn't get me shit Now Patty got me this and I think the guys were a hundred or something like that It's all five or something like that plus that X but like shipping sure make sure Christmas goes off without a hitch Thanks, buddy. I love it

Meanwhile all I got is this jacket that I'm gonna return back to tipsy elves tomorrow got the goddamn fucking pop them sock them What did you spend total on me probably Probably 120 of them. Most of that was shipping. A lot of tags. Overseas tags getting you at these tariffs going. I respect it, guys. I'm just happy. Like I said, we thought that Craig was going to be a little more impressive. And the Sony wouldn't arrive on time. We were looking for at least four minutes.

Well, the 90s were also very... When you guys walked into the room and then walked back out, they're like, We got you. I'm like, that was too fast. Meanwhile, I spent like four days researching these toys, finding them, locating them. You guys literally did it while I was sitting out here having a heater. You guys walked out, oh yeah, you're all good. I was like, I'm getting the fucking screw job here. I sent him like six gifts and then he just takes back. I want a helicopter

Man it's all about you. You're fucking screwed me Looking for a vehicle helicopter can land now. I want it. I got a spot Yeah, I got a spot and you got guys that make sure to the alipad safe You got you got boots on the ground now. You mean guys that secure the LZ? Sure. Your real gift is coming. Let me guess.

Luke, get the Game Boy. Luke, suck his dick real quick. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha All right, so that was our Christmas as we do, you know, and then we always love to hear from the mother f'n homies. Yes, sir. Over there on the Patreon. This year, obviously, being the holiday Christmas extravaganza spectacular, we were really... Come on, you gotta check in. Sorry.

We got a goddamn program to toys I was just I'm gonna have Ryan come take it away. If you can't pay attention fine Like your mother what about my money, and I don't know what that means Patty get in here You were that kid that you opened up all your gifts and then it was like time to look at your brother open his gifts And now you're on she did it very him. It then it was like time to look at your brother open his gifts and now you're she did it very Him it was it was so Coordinated and so structured you do one for one one for one. It's back and forth talk about edging back in Talk about blue balls back and forth, which was great. It was only that one year. He got this blue airplane I've told you about got a big fight about it

It was only that one year he got this blue airplane. I've told you about got a big fight about it And then we each got our big gifts and then we had to set them all up and make it look presentable and leave it There but I love that. I remember like the day or two after Christmas I take your toys upstairs like fuck because it was all set up nice and you could lay under the tree with the trains And I'd lay on my belly and I'd fucking play with my play with my toys With the trains and I'd lay on my belly and I'd fucking play with my play with my toys And about 4000 calories in me to or a lot of syrup fingers going on a couple of sausage links syrup syrup syrup sero

Bloated from quiche fucking wicked heartburn you were doing quiche. Well, we could quiche every year. I told you that Wicked heartburn you were doing quiche. Well we could quiche every year. I told you that Every year there's a quiche. Oh, you toy D always. Yeah, that's that's nuts a store-bought key. Yes Well, that's a little different. We were she didn't make her scram be egg and we'd always Because Christmas would be that the it'd be fancy you would take whatever them You know that she probably do sausage and bacon maybe on Christmas morning Denise would better that the birds covered If the birds come Because you're all just taking hits off an egg beater bottle Dumping bacon bits in there whatever

That was somebody wrote that in I in there or whatever. That's a good idea. That was somebody wrote that in. Good. I she would take I remember, I remember the first time it was when she she would take because obviously you make the you make your bacon or your whatever, you put it on a paper plate with some paper towel on there to soak up the grease.

So you would then remove that. She would plate it on like a plate and put that out. And I remember being like, whoa, what is the president coming over? I'm like, it's just us here. And I'd go over my dad's. He'd pick us up around. Get a rich chocolate frosted Edamon's doughnut thrown at you. He'd pick us up around noon.

I'd go over there and there would be more sausage and bacon. Because they had already eaten and they left some for us. Man, I'd go over there eating My stepmom would do the Bob Evans sausage patties. I'd be eating them Just raw dog and them things while I'm open in presence. I'd be like Danny's turned open I'd get up and run over and getting another two pieces. Maybe a screaming cold cake Would you get let me see I'm sitting there. That's standing up. Show everyone. Broken arm. You're eating one. Oh man. Uh but let's get into some of the uh the homies Christmas stories here. Yes. This one's from

Matthew. Um ten dollar homie. Is it garbage not to send a family member a Christmas present because they have a court date in early January and are most likely going to prison So it'd be a waste of a gift Save it and put that on his commissary. Of course. We learned about that. Of course put it on his commissary You're gonna need it if he's jammed up. Yeah with the triads. Yeah, that's I mean Listen if you're pretty jammed up That guy's really jammed up. Throw him a couple of huns for the lawyer.

That's got public defender right now. A couple of huns, you're chasing bad money there. A couple of huns, that's a huge gift. You spent a hundred on me. You're chasing bad money. Kid's going away. Let's call a spade a spade. The kid's going.

He's doing a couple of months. You don't need a Tamagotchi, I Tom. I got you He changed the date on that like that Craig though probably go for a couple hundred bucks in a joint Yeah, right a lot of guys want to listen. They got mp3 players and stuff in there. No one's banging Craigs No, I didn't know was a Craig. That's Luke. That's on Luke. Oh, yeah We don't care. I am probably no he doesn't should have got him a zoom I that would at least at least you put a couple of MP3s on there came up reloaded with them albums You got his razor scooter mean ever gonna be gone Later be looking for an adapter for this Chinese thing

Doesn't plug in You gotta be gonna put gas in it Do stroke. Man, all right. This one's from Adam Fry's ten dollar home. He hears a garbage. You have an SUV and buy a live Christmas tree and put it inside the car rather than on top.

My wife's family did it all the time. And they were shocked when I had the boys at the tree farm strapped into the roof I did that's a man's man. I might go mine goes in there, too Really? Yeah, I don't know how to fucking I'm not driving down I'm not driving with a fucking tree on top of my car that anxiety of a guts gonna fall off and kill somebody Don't sew us your collision your liability. No, that was in the car. That's crazy to me. Yeah. I mean, but you're doing now, you do that now

because you get a small tree. No, it's big. I mean, it goes up, it goes in between the seats. That's nuts to me. Yeah, I don't know how to fucking tie something to the roof of the car. Throw them 20 bucks, they'll do it. I never thought about that.

You think you'll be able to beat Simon. I thought- That's a super computer in the 80s, dude. I forgot about that, you can have the Simon. Oh, thanks. The thing I bought for the set, essentially. I'm getting screwed, give me the receipt for that. I gotta turn that in, that's an expense.

You can still have Baccarat. Gary, this is just Bill? He's a friend guy? He just shows up every now and then when his wife's breaking his balls and he needs to get out of the house. He wants to have beers with snake eyes. I forgot the snake eyes. Somebody gave us a nice snake eyes on the Route 66.

I've had it in the house. I've got to bring it in. I put it aside to bring it in specifically for today. I'll get it up on the set. In the same realm of Christmas trees, this is from Foley's Wedding Planner. Are you garbage if your family has a tradition of stealing a Christmas tree from the Lowe's or Home Depot

because your dad has a long-standing vendetta with them over a shoddy carpet installation 15 plus years ago? I gotta tell ya, I respect that a little bit. I respect the vendetta. I respect that a little bit. I respect the Vandetta. If the man has his reasons. And listen, I'm not keen on stealing, but as well well documented.

I think it's keen, I think it's well documented that you are. What? You enjoy your grift. No, I don't. I don't steal. Case of water. What? A case of water.

What case of water? You stole a case of water not that long ago. No, I stole the bed skirt for my Christmas. I didn't steal it. They forgot. They I forgot to scan it. And then, uh, yeah, no, I don't. But I don't. I'm the hey, listen, if you're going to I don't think you should steal if you do steal from fucking lows.

That's why I'm fine with that. They screwed you over on a carpet job 15 years ago. Got to make your money back. It's a guy fucking Lowe's. That's why I'm fine with that. They screwed you over on a carpet job 15 years ago, gotta make your money back. It's a guy, a fucking hardworking guy probably. I give him that too. Probably really juices the kids up. Oh yeah. We're going to Lowe's to steal a tree.

That's pretty good. I didn't know the one thing he was like, I would tell the kids, hey, one of you start crying if we get caught. I go, I didn't know, he was crying. I thought I didn't, you thought, I thought he paid for it or whatever. It's, I thought I online ordered it.

Ricky, you don't have your credit card on you? That's pretty good. Yeah, I'm with that. Yeah. Yeah. This one is, this one's very of my family. This is from House Rep Henry, $10 South Pole Elf. One year we didn't have enough stuff for our Christmas morning mimosas,

so we ended up improvising with Tang and Keystone Light. That's like, that's what I love. I'm big on this year of just leaning into it. Just lean into it. Don't fight who you are. If that's what you want to do, that's who you are. It is what it is. Just that's fun. It's kitschy. It gives everybody a laugh It gives everybody a story do it probably not that bad. He's probably pretty good. Yeah, probably not that bad I mean tastes like a blue moon Which I had one of those this weekend delicious Where we eat breakfast?

We went to Devon seafood girl for the last time We met up with us an old friend of ours good. Yeah, good friend. Mm-hmm Yeah, it was good time. Wow, very couple of those some of them honey biscuits. They got can't believe that joints closing If you showed up every now and then bought more than one blue moon and some honey biscuits I'd be able to keep the fucking lights on Parked in the garage where I used to get my perky doodles great. Well, I'm really trip Good times All right, let's see this one's from the ozempic gold medalist love it

Uh, is it garbage that for Christmas when I was younger my dad used to get people CDs or cassettes for Christmas But he would open them first and use the stereo combo to record them to a blank CD before he gave them his gifts. I kind of, that's pretty good. It's like, hey man, I'm gonna get you the album. Two for one. They were 20 bucks, they weren't cheap at the time. No.

They were 20 bucks in the 90s. Yeah, so it's like, hey, you're getting it. The only thing is you can get the Saran wrap on it What if you probably figured out a way to put it back on? Smart guy would yeah, personally an ingenious man such as that. That's two for one right there. That's really good I got print them. Why didn't more people do that? What bootleg CDs like that? Was that big? Oh, well not my year like my okay Yeah, one of the one I got yourself a Craig and you needed albums

You had yeah that only plays bootlegs by the way. It only plays CDRs I Spent all my money on a Craig. I got money for album. I don't get album money Do you remember going that Russian kid moved to our school Palvo? He was huge dude. He must have been the deuce deuce in a quarter in love it in like He must have been a deuce deuce in a quarter in like third fourth grade and he had a CD burner and he brought one in and I remember on the playground, I think it was Vinny with the skinny came out because I got like DMX and Tupac on this CD and we were like where did you get that and he goes goes, Pavel did it. I go, whoo, yo, big man, let's talk some biz.

I'm trying to get my hands on some fucking tracks here. And I go, put the past behind us and move forward. I didn't understand it. I'm like, can you get Jay Z and go any CD? And he's like, he's like a used car. Say, then he's in the end. He's the one I get. Can he charge you? Yeah. Five bucks. Any CD? Wow. Any CD?

And he did But then I bought it and my diss man didn't play Burton didn't play CDRs I got screwed see that that thought I had something in place for that where you couldn't do that Yeah, well, yeah, just the laser was different like though the reader was They didn't make the reader to read. I think what were we doing with CDs early in comedy Why would we I remember going and like getting a bunch of CDs for something? I don't know what you're talking about. We making like set tapes or something like that I don't know what would we have used CDs for I was not using CDs when I first met you

Maybe in a car I had 50 cent or something. Maybe we made like a DVD of a couple of sketches Yeah, probably. Yeah, I think it would shop. Couple of albums. God. You stink. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Stink?

Sure. That's a home run. Um, this is a pretty good, this is more of a little bit of a discussion. This is from Eric. At holiday get togethers, do you all sit down around the table and pass the dishes around, or is it set up like a buffet style for?

Everybody fix their own plate great question depends on the size. I would say yes. We do buffet for everything Mm-hmm. Yeah, we're always buffet I think it depends on the size of the table available and the amount of people there and the size of the house Yeah, our Christmas Day Shout out to my cousin Kelly. She always hooks it up and she's gotten real good at Hitting the crowd pleaser some years. She'll get it like catered like from like a local Italian place But sometimes she'll do to she's got the pretzel nuggets. She got maybe like a wah-wah box That might be the Super Bowl, but she does it really nice, but it's all buffet

Look at all up. Everybody chill out. Yeah, we depend. I think it depends on size wise of what we're doing. I think if it's it's probably a little bit of both. I think some of the sides are set up on a counter as a buffet. You kind of load your plate up and then you go sit down. I think if we do like their wheel when somebody brings something. What they get put in there, they're in in there Over here in the garage of the neighbor's house

We ain't touching his track tofu roll, huh? I remember one time let the squirrels have it Nadine made a tiramisu and use like too much booze or too much lead Do them see people were getting shredded? It was like it was like fucking I don't know what it was, but it was a whoo man I hate my brother-in-law had the punch bowl on his head. So we tell you that's what he's fireball But shout out the fireball greater. It's high around this time of year Hashtag warm you from the core me from the inside daddy. Oh that glucose. Uh, alright this one's just this is a bit of a story Growing up we used to this is very of what probably most listeners did. Growing up, we used to drive around on Christmas Eve and look at all the houses and decorations.

There was one house that really went all out, which we would always save for last. One year we piled into my mom's Plymouth minivan and hit the beat. The van had been- Hit the beat? What are you fucking- No problem, Jack. The van had been having a lot beat... what are you fucking... no problem Jack... the van had been having a lot of issues with the exhaust system and when we got to the final house there was a big line of cars waiting to see it. We were coming over the hill, the exhaust just really blew up. There was clouds and clouds of exhaust

covering the street, visibility was low. We completely fogged out the whole street and ruined so many people's Christmas cheer but the movie The Mask had just come out theaters and as we sat in silence of embarrassment my aunt yells out, smoking! And we all busted out laughing it was one of the funniest moments we ever still we've ever had and still talking about it To this day needless to say my mom got a new van not too long after that dude. Oh Listen hacky not hacky a good time movie movie quote when that quotes hot Man, there ain't nothing funnier. That's the best

nothing funnier that's the best man talk about perfect for it all you garbage Christmas yeah that's from trash door the burn eater oh man dude that's the fact that the ants in there uh-huh smokey that's got a break somebody's not man That was big in the do not go in there you walk out of a bad horse do not go in there That's some good stuff, but uh All right, let me get over we gotta wrap it up Oh, I got fucking goddamn headquarters to build I know you got a headquarters to build I think you got a big send-off for think you got to make send off for the boys. I do. I do. Before we go real quick, as most of the folks here know,

if you're what I feel like you're about to depose me or something, you put it at the body of the email. It still says like to and from and stuff. I'm not good with the technology, hence the Craig. That's good. As you know, the you know, I don't think we did it last year, but the last couple of years before that, I read our version of Toys the Night Before Christmas, the famed Christmas poem.

I thought we'd switch it up this year with an original piece. OK, you know, completely original piece for the last line. Sure. Is the poem entitled A Couple of Days Before Christmas? And pockets are light. OK, here we go. It was a couple of days before Christmas. We were day drinking at Tootie's. Pops for Kippy, Luke with the vape and me, a true gentleman,

had a small bag of goodies. Blowing off a little steam just hanging and chilling. Kippy asked an important question about lunch says, What are you boys feeling? I could eat said Luke through a pillow smoke chicken Caesar wrap for me said I bag of sun chips and a diet coke. Fuck that yelled Kippy. I'm thinking as I will have to stop at Angelo's on our way home from the bar. But between the traffic and her eyesight, the boys knew it could take her forever.

Mix in the Michelob Ultras and pills. God forgive me. It might just be never. The order was placed and a cash app was sent because to the eight made a goddamn money and we still owe the rent. Then hours had passed without a word or a call the pizza place that she picked up a while ago Did a bump in the ladies room stall? Our tummies were grumbling and the booze almost gone kippy said I think this broad stole our pizza and money Jesus Tell me I'm wrong suddenly we heard sleigh bells and a crash on the roof

Tootie yelled you drive like Stevie Wonder good thing you fuck like Babe Ruth She was laughing her way down the staircase Lighten her heater with a BIC and who's standing beside her boys meet your new uncle my old flame st. Nick He was as big as a house and wore red head to toe He had white stuff all over his nose, and I don't think it was snow Johnny course He had white stuff all over his nose, and I don't think it was snow Johnny Carson Everyone relax you have nothing to fear. I rolled a blunt in the sleigh grabbed pizzas and beer But I got to get out of here. He proclaimed. I got fucking work in the morning

Congrats on the pod and good luck with the touring He ran out the back door and disappeared like a shot, but the beer was ice cold and the pizzas were still hot. Don't tell my wife I was here. And if the cops ask, I wasn't. As far as anybody knows, I was in Jersey looking for drones and visiting my sick cousin. And we heard him exclaim as he vanished out of sight.

Shout out to all the bozos and the homies, and to all, a good night. Merry Christmas, gang. Love yous. Love yous. Peace!