Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Trashy Exercise Equipment w/ Kippy & Foley
Episode Date: January 4, 2024Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live ...show! NYC TOWNHALL Live Show: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows NEW AYG Card Game: https://areyougarbage.com/products/are-you-garbage-card-game Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ True Classic: https://www.trueclassic.com/garbage Code: Garbage Rocket Money: https://www.rocketmoney.com/garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?
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Gang, don't forget to pick up your own deck of the new RU Garbage Card game, version 2.
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Yeah.
Welcome to another exciting edition of RU Garbage.
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash.
Now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley.
Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is our you garbage.
So a little show we sit there with your favorite comedians and we find that
I think it's going to be classy.
Yeah.
You're just a big old piece of trash.
Trash, trash, trash.
I'm your host stage fully coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here with Tudys in the new edition living.
High on the hog in 2024.
Baby, we absolutely love it.
She's upstairs.
Past out.
Okay.
What are you going to do? Some habits die hard.
She tried real hard first couple of days of January. Resolutions down a drain.
My coach is coming at you from across the table slightly amused this week.
He is the CEO of our U garbage. He is an international business man.
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Give it up for KJ. Kevin James Ryan everybody. What up gang. Thanks for tuning in. Happy New Year, gang. We love you.
Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes full video
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good. Works at once. The twos andos the three and a fours crosses the teas
That's the odd sure T-bone McScroffins Toby McBollon ladies and gentlemen what a boys Well, I'll see about nothing. I'm feeling good feeling safe
Especially with Foley wearing his life-reserve
We shake that I got the life jacket on we're having a good time
That thing I mean stunt my look dog. Is that reversible? No
Maybe I think it might be. No, it's not.
Okay.
Alright, because of the things on the inside.
It's cool.
I like this streetwear foley we got cooking here.
LRG baby.
You look like the world's worst drug dealer.
Hey, let me hold 20.
What?
The opposite of camouflage.
Yeah.
I don't have any baggies, so just, man, I used to get pumped and nougat from time to time.
Yeah.
I got this, it's just like a fucking, you know,
a little bit of shake.
Mm-hmm, yeah.
In the cellophane of a cigarette.
Huge, that, to me, was the best thing, a little sealant.
Sure, no, it didn't.
You know what I mean?
That was the best vehicle for that.
Cause you weren't buying enough to fill the bag,
a dime bags, I guess, is all right, you know. Sure, but you weren't feeling enough to fill the bag, a dime bags I guess is all right. Sure, but you weren't filling enough to fill a ziplock.
I like the nice clean sandwich bag with the fold over.
The old school, the elic?
Yeah, twisted up real nice.
That's when we were doing nuggies.
Sure.
Back in the day, we were doing shwag.
Mexican brick weed.
Mm-hmm.
Doesn't matter what it came in, jar.
It's coming a pillowcase.
It's not going to get you high anyway.
It is.
Yeah.
I wanted to ask you this because it is it is January.
It is rejuvenation.
Do I like your vest?
No.
It's resolution season.
All right.
Do you remember?
Because I was in Patties garage when we were home.
Do you remember your first I was in Patties garage when we were home, do you remember your first
piece of exercise equipment?
Like when you and your brother maybe
started getting of that age where like you wanted to start working out and you said something
up in the garage. We had it, I had it, it was in my room for a little while. There was a,
there was a station like an pasta maker. I
got to eat the carbs. It was a very old stationery but I'm talking like 70s
stationery bike. I think the first move dude. I mean that's not like I went out
and bought it. What do you a single lady in New York City? I think it was my
trying to make it in the man's world. I think it was my stepdad's dad's.
Whoa.
And like he brought it over through.
This thing had like an actual, it had like, it was,
I'm talking, I meant like dumb bells and old workout beds.
You had that.
That's cool.
I guess when he moved in, he brought it over and it was,
we set it up man.
You couldn't, I was like, fucking, I was like, uh,
Susan, some of them. Baby't I was like fucking I was like
Baby I had my butt was tuned. Yeah, it was and we had it. We it was just like would you wear leggings when you would
Showing off the games well after the bike you get down on the handles with a bunch of springs. Yeah, those were all right too Those were all right. Yeah, those were all right the hand grips
No, no, I'm right. The hand grips.
No, no, no, I'm talking about the hand grips.
No, I know what you're talking about.
Yeah, the thing that they tie up the kid in the goonies with.
Josh Brolin, yeah, they tie him up with that.
He had this thing, didn't he?
Brolin in that.
Yeah, that's the hand thing.
They never made any sense to me.
He was tied back there.
For sure.
I loved him back then.
I remember one time, my buddy's family in the basement,
they had the very classics of bourbon,
half finnish, like three quarters finished basement.
Sure.
And it was a wall and then it was unfinished storage.
Do you mit a fire, some pump, the boiler?
They had a bunch old shit.
They had a big weight bench in there,
like not bench system.
The one that had like the pull down.
A universal.
Huge.
Holy shit.
It was in this was from like the might have been
from the 80s or early 90s.
So it was like a jungle gym and we would go over there
as like seven, eight year olds or whatever.
And like do we do be 15 of us like crawling in it and
everyone start juicing putting up numbers.
I remember one time was like me and two other kids were like hanging on like the thing.
And we play with the weights.
We put all the weights up and then like counteract it and you could like, hold on.
I mean, we're like, for a pill real short.
Sure.
Man, I heard yourself.
Yeah.
Well, I broke this girl's fingers.
Bad.
Yeah, not on purpose.
It's like you didn't pay the big and I was like, you know, I'm here.
She wrote me exercise bike without asking.
She went to like move it the way or something
and me and another guy were like, you know,
descendarily, you know, and we let go or got off him.
Damn, like, you know,
we're just playing.
We came down and smashed her shit up.
And you broke her fingers?
Yeah.
She was a gymnast.
She was a bitch.
She was like a junior Olympic gymnast
and shit like that.
Damn, ruined her career
I didn't know you had bodies on you
Holy shit. Don't cross this guy. It wasn't intentional. There was no mens reya. I'm a passionate
No kid. Yeah, yeah, it was like super bowl or something. We were all in there just like fucking around dickin around
If it's the thing I only had pizza grease on my hands
if I'm thinking honest.
I was at a chalk that day.
Now, if you're thinking,
if you're talking about the thing
that I'm thinking of,
it's like a rectangle.
There's like a bench that comes out like that,
but it's with stack plates.
And then a couple different things around.
I think that's called a universal.
I think you're right. You weren't banging with those when you were in high school, right?
They had moved on from that shit. I guess so. Yeah, I don't yeah, that was art first of all our weight room in high school was literally just in the like
Regular school hallway. It was just a classroom. Yeah, it had carpet and everything and one of those things in there
A bunch of dudes getting there
That's really fucking shooting up windstrolling shit.
Still losing to Valley High.
We beat them.
Cause they got this.
It was a technicality, but a win's a win.
It was a pivotal time in the season.
After theme was X-Cons.
It was always nice when some or funny, when somebody's dad started going back when
that, you know, because they maybe they were like, you know, probably my I remember my
dad doing that in cutoff.
Uh, you remember him like, get trying to get the band back together.
Like all the sudden one day in the garage got the way bench over there.
We got this over like very American beauty.
Dad's a little bit.
Yeah.
Dad's are all about big gut bench press only.
Yeah.
We would go to one, man, it's so funny.
I'm sure this guy's still around.
He was like this sport.
My brother, my brother's a very good athlete
at the time, like in high school
and junior high and high school and stuff.
And so they were always like, you know, he's always on all these travel soccer teams and all this running track and everything.
So he there was this local guy who used to be like a strength and conditioning coach.
For a man this dude was something he looked like he looked like an extra out of the sopranos.
He was like a strength and coach, and he would, some squat thrust.
Yeah.
I had fucking hated them squat thrust.
He had a real damn real rag tag operation.
Like in, he was like, I was just weird.
He got some money together, but from a couple
and a bunch of.
I could smell this guy.
Yeah, do a little colonel.
Yeah, colon in the gym.
Yeah. He's got the slip.
He's got slick back hair.
I forget his name.
Gold chain, real Guita.
Like, and he had the warm up pants, like the swishies.
You know what I mean?
With the elastic at the feet and the elastic up here,
they were great, always great to chain.
He's doing squats going 200 weights,
two 15 with a chain. I got a chain. He's doing squats going 200 weights to 15 with a chance.
A gabagoo.
One gabagoo. How many reps you want to do about 10 gabagools? I would say.
You want to do three sets of more to know and three gov'r goals. So, hey, we went to my brother started going to him for like, you know, like a weekend type,
like camp thing for like, strength and condition.
No, shit, you were doing that kind of stuff.
Well, I was going, no, you weren't.
It was more of a, it was more of a strength and condition and thing for Danny, more of my
other sons of fat ass.
Let's whip him into shape.
See what the gumball situation is.
Meanwhile, I was probably eating burger king on the way over.
Where was this? I've offered one hand to dumbbell the other.
Yeah.
Who was this at?
Like, you know, in my area.
Like I'm like a strip mall.
He had like a little gym.
That was more of like a like industrial complex.
Like business, business parkish.
But it's hard to describe.
There's like a business, it's like a garage.
It was in a commercial garage.
Now, if I'm being honest, when I first started,
it was like connected to the hospital.
It was part of, but when your fat ass blows out of hammock.
You were doing weekend physical therapy. with your fat ass blows out of hammock. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I think they might have had a set of them now that I think what happened to that boy
too many lucky charms fell along with chicken dendis at an early I can't do it Oh If you know you're out of shape and paralyzed guys talking shit
But a little bit of help that fat ass is gonna learn to walk again one day
Let me know in myself
Fucking
I love it
man
You're sitting there watching the other guys workout
man, you're probably getting hungrier working up a sweat
I was promised ice cream
Dude man go watch if you're probably work out
That's funny. So no no, so we were there.
It was either he was there and then moved to his own place or was in this place and then
moved.
It wasn't in the hospital, but it was in the building of, you know, like, so it's obviously
not the hospital, but like a five miles away, there's like a hospital camp at another
like satellite campus building of them. I do like radiology there. They might do half of that building was a gym
That's physical therapy. It was a physical therapy. I don't think I don't think it was to be honest with you
I mean hospital doesn't rent out fucking space to fucking. I don't think they were rent. I got shoman
This dude was such a guido
I'm asking me and give Kung Fu
No
Was he licensed I don't know he definitely has massage license
It's probably closing broads left it right with that
Probably cleaned up in that area. He probably did Vinnie. It was something real
But I started going there my dad joined that I guess when my brother joined my dad joined and with it was like a fitness thing
I would go I mean, you know, I didn't know what I was doing. I was I think I was worth I think I was working with him for a little bit
What do you mean like he was like training numbers? No like training me I forget man
I wish I remember I remember just being there
I remember what they had me running one time with this like this like college
Baseball player and we were like because there was like an indoor track and he had me running like sprints down the
Straits or something and dude
I was ready to throw up after like the second one dude you were probably the rabbit
They probably probably told the baseball players many times
as you can catch up to this fat bastard. No, it's just the one kid. You're basically the chicken
and Rocky. Jason, you were a... Can't get him a covered in butter. Can't get all of me, baby.
I'm stinking move when I feel threatened. I might be fat, but I'm, I'm, I'm weary.
can move when I feel threatened. I might be fat, but I'm, I'm, I'm weary. Hey, you see that little fat kid doing wheelies in the wheelchair? That's your
pay scar. So greased up. Yeah. That's good. But we never really did it in
home. We went, you know, there was always that and then like another gym and, you
know, yeah, when my dad would be like, I'm going, you know, like he would be like,
don't, you know, over the 20 years, there was a handful of times where he's like,
I'm getting back into this and we go for like a year or whatever.
And then, you know, obviously fall out like most people do.
Yeah, we were garage people.
I mean, my brother's was the first one to, you know, really start,
because you know, he's a couple of years old or started getting into it.
Got like this.
It's the classic thin bench press.
Uh-huh.
And look at it with fall apart.
It was like, look at it was built at a bike parts.
And it had like sparkles on the cushion.
Sure.
You know what I mean?
Fucking in there with that thing.
And then he got the bar that goes over the door
or supposed to go in the door frame.
Like the perfect pull up type thing?
Yeah.
But it wasn't that.
It was like a pre-cursor to that.
Sure, yeah, yeah.
But neither one of us could do a pull up.
Have you ever been able to do a pull up?
Yeah.
Yeah, I was able to do I think two or three.
For like two months in college.
Yeah, this was probably 2018, maybe 17, 18.
I was doing pull ups, yeah Yeah going into my sophomore year football camp
I had lost all all the weight from football for from lacrosse. I was landscaping on summer
drinking not eating a couple extra curricula
Sure
And I rolled in like a buck 75 or like a buck 80 or something like that
Kill it with the dips killed it with the pull ups. I couldn't do a buck 75 or like a buck 80 or something like that. Kill it with the dips, killed it with the pull ups.
I couldn't do a fucking pull up now.
I know.
I would have about two seconds hanging off the helicopter.
I'm done.
I'm not making it.
I could.
I probably I don't think you could.
I could hang for a minute.
I'm about 60 seconds.
No, a minute was a not a scientific.
I had not a scientific term a not a senior did wonders. Not a scientific
job of any. Uh, yeah, no, that's it. That's it's brutal. Oh, that's it's fucking brutal.
I'd be lucky to make it to 30 seconds. Sure. Well, they don't they do that thing.
Like that's like the scam where they have it for like a viant can hang for a minute and they
get all these like, you know, and put them in like turrets. It's like a it's like a corny trick.
can hang for a minute and they get all these like, you know, and but then it like, turrets like, it's like a, it's like a corny trick. It rolls and like, all your, and you
end up fucking drop. Oh, like that bar is, it's rigged. It's like a boy. It's like the,
doing it at the wildwood boardwalk. All the fucking games are rigged. Are they though?
On the wildwood boardwalk. You think those basketball rims were, were, were, were they
last summer? The feds have come in and like, we're like, this is highly illegal. The feds bringing the feds in for that. I don't know if it was the feds
But they're trying to make it goddamn living
Do you not remember running through like 200 bucks in about 15 minutes of that?
We were we were have drunk and it fucking we stink
First thing it comes up why would games ring state authorities of accused Jersey Shore boardwalk amusement operator of rigging basketball games
With over inflated balls and displaying prizes,
you can never win, I respect it.
Those aren't even real jerseys, by the way.
They're not game jerseys.
Now remember those jerseys at the end hanging up?
Yeah, yeah, they were, they're not fucking game-issued.
Yeah, so the hammer the fucking rims in.
Back in the day, that same one that we shot
on hammers the rims in, and then they would spray paint the rims
and they would wrap a black electrical tape around the rim.
So it was like, it fucks with your perception of it.
It was like in little rings.
They had it taped out, and then you can never look
at the rims from the side.
They used to have big pieces of wood blocking the side angle,
so you couldn't see that the rim was at,
like because you're looking at a dead-on,
you can't tell that it's almost yeah.
But if you see from the side, it's like fucking, you know, it's like smushed in from that
to that.
So they would block your view from the side.
I mean, do that.
That's as old as time.
Sure.
And then I'm sure they could go in and like, yeah, it goes it does legally fit in.
And there's nowhere that says like, hey, this is a regulation size hoop, but the ball does
fit in if it goes in perfectly, you know?
Bastards.
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No, cuz you're not dumbass
But a lot of the song we don't know what we got. I fly by the sea to my pants.
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Do it gang now back to the show.
Back to the show.
Anywho.
That's neither here nor there.
Nope, because we're here for a what?
Family episode.
Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies.
To answer your questions,
is you know when you sign up for the old Patriot,
you have a question read out in a year,
by God damn Kippie Kevin James drying himself.
Oh, yeah.
Kids have a celebrity over here down the boardwalk.
Sam's pizza number one customer.
10 years in a row.
King of the boards, let's not forget that.
I ain't thinkin' the head.
Talk about half of the celebrity,
I'm king of the fucking boards.
Uh, all right.
Probably doing that,
ran it out the basketball, got it, a feds.
Hey.
And it will piece, somebody's gotta fall, ain't gonna be me. You know what I mean fucking Patsy and that thing
Don't brought out a coming hey 30% of the joy
Speaking of scams this is from Mike. This is a move. I never thought of like it
$10 turnpike troll toll never have one red You ever use a check to buy a Visa gift card
and a birthday card that you'll throw away
so you have a little spending money to pay day?
So the birthday card is this throw off
the center of the cashier that you're not just a dirt bag
buying.
So this is what he does,
because that check's not gonna clear for probably two
three days.
Okay.
And so let's say he gets paid on Friday.
He wakes up Friday morning with money in his account.
Let's say it's Wednesday, he's got no cash.
He does have a checkbook that he knows will buy him three days.
He'll buy a thousand dollar gift card,
or $500 gift card, and now he's got a $500 American Express gift card.
He can use his cash anywhere American Express is except from Wednesday to Friday
Yeah, so he's buying himself and the check clear the check clear is even if you write to check out for that day Wednesday
It still won't really clear until Friday. I at least it buys you a day or two for sure
No, you're floating the check is what you're doing float, but I mean it's not illegal no frowned upon I get caught
You can get caught with your hand in the cookie jar for sure if the check doesn't clear
Something like that to check that day. I don't I don't know checks anymore. You got to do that shit after I learned that the hard way
You got to do shit like that after noon. Don't be trying to fucking get money in the morning
You do that after 12 o'clock maybe two three
But I was making the cycle to buy it.
After banking hours, that's when I would do it.
Oh, there you go.
I'm not floating to check before five o'clock.
No, what?
Where it goes from dirt bag scheme to pro move is the birthday.
Sure.
Throw them off the sand.
That's my nephews birthday.
I'm splurged in. I wanted to give him something nice.
He wants an appetizer sample and a bunch of dollar retas at Applebee's. He does.
I'm gonna take him over there. He's a good kid. He's really exciting. You're fake sign in it.
It's a seven year old birthday card. Yeah, that's a fucking pro move. I respect it, but be careful out there.
I, you know, as a as a man who I don't know when this was
Can you still do that? What can you still write a check right bad checks? Hell yeah, yeah, you can still right
You can still do that I can I can go in a CVS and write a check I
Would get eyes on that maybe not CVS. I don't know where he's doing it though
But I would have I would assume most places take
Personal checks you might have to have like two forms ID or whatever. I don't know, but I'm sure where he's doing it though. But I would assume most places take personal checks,
you might have to have like two forms of ID or whatever.
I don't know, but I'm sure.
Can't you do this?
Can't you go into the bank on a Wednesday,
write a check to cash, get the cash
and it doesn't hit until Friday?
What?
Wouldn't that still take a couple of knots right away?
I guess it would come right out of your account
and your f-boss.
Yeah, if you go to your bank.
I think other people used to to CVS does not accept personal
checks.
No kid burn one too many times.
Yeah, I bet they have.
You can still pay with a personal check at grocery stores.
That in the uterance locked up.
Hey, no, what's up?
You can still pay for a personal check with a personal check at grocery stores, department
stores, and more for all of them.
You need a state ID.
A few stores will accept a, well, that will accept our hobby.
Lobby Barnes and Oble came our coals, Macy's Dollar Tree.
Hobby.
They're hanging out for a long depot wall, green, Costco, all pay with checks.
Really?
I'm going to start doing checks that take forever, though, right?
What do you mean?
I don't know for it to hit your account.
Because this is what we're talking about.
It takes longer to hit your account. Because what we're talking about. It takes longer to hit your account than it's spend money you don't fucking you don't have. I like the idea. But you need that
coming down the pipeline. That's the only problem. Yeah. It'd be nice to start
paying thing. I write you a check. I still I have my checkbook and I've been
using it more and more. Me personally. Yeah Yeah, no You would take a check from me. I wouldn't take a Venmo from you. Oh,
That's good
Who's H. Moli just accepted?
canceling it right away. Yeah, charge me. Yeah, I gave it a charge back. No, thank you
Now I'm paying for the charge back on my end. Yeah, I don't know this. He took my phone
Back on my end. Yeah, I don't know this. He took my phone.
My phone.
Oh, shit. That's a fucking pro movie. I never thought of that. I never really dabbled with checks. I've only, I think I only really wrote one
early on and it bounced for like a hundred and 50 bucks. I had said they
get in the mountain house and it bounced and I had to
go through the whole thing. Oh yeah, really?
So it's like, I, and they started getting phased out.
So I just fucking, I fell out.
Somewhere out there, there's a guy in his car right now
who just drove past the Hobby Lobby,
didn't say a word and just pulled it.
Yeah.
And buddy, good luck.
I'm shitting on him,
but I doubt you see my favorite place.
When I was driving the laser hair removal,
that was my favorite place to go and like,
out in like long island and shit like that,
like in the burbs, find a nice strip mall
that had like a fucking, like a model train store.
Because they had the models,
they had a bunch of different things,
different things, look at the trains,
use that train set up.
I could buy like my little matchbox like jet fighters. They had like little die-cast metal pretty cool
Get some real good glue for sniffing. Yeah, go sit in the van and listen to Howard Stern and fucking
Sniff glue after a $40 Burger King breakfast order
My favorite thing was I when I worked that when I worked for that home improvement company
My favorite thing was when I worked at when I worked for that home improvement company
Céline's like canvassing. I would go drop. I was the canvassing manager So I would drop them all off and be like you go. I'll drop you here
I would have to like print out maps in the morning of like all right you have you know
Fucking mocking bird lane to here and I would like you know goop print out Google maps and highlight it for me
Go all right up and then like I'll drop them off and I'd go meet them in like an hour
Me in that hour I would be in the middle of Jersey, Pennsylvania, somewhere, Delaware.
I would drive around and look for a strip mall with like Anthony's Pizzeria, Lorenzo,
Sumpton, and I would fucking, this would be about noon.
After I had my wall wall sizzly at like, you know, 930, I'd find that fucking thing and
I'd sit in
there and paint a goddamn masterpiece. I'm talking like four slices. No not even diet
cooks just heavy bikes like two or three 20 ounce bottles walk out, crush a heater, call
them and they'd be like, oh what are you done? I'm like, I just did all right. I'm going
to meet a client or whatever. I go meet Antonia. I'm knocking on doors.
See if they're open.
Meanwhile, you're over on Stromboli Street.
Oh, I'm so happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm looking back on that, though.
I know being younger and doing that, remember how bad you felt after lunch, after a lunch
like that?
How brutal the rest of the day was
with a fucking belly full of calzone and fucking soda
and fucking coffee.
And then he calzones for lunches.
That's a big step, not judging you,
but I mean, that's a heavy lunch.
Calzone.
You mean for slices.
I'm not so intrigued.
I'm just saying.
No, but to fold it over is a bridge to fall.
It is. That does heavier. We all know that.
That's thick. That's thick.
That's it. I was doing thin crusts.
That shouldn't style. That should have put you to sleep, man.
Holy shit. The sausage, the peppers, fucking.
Oh, man, I can have the heartburn right now.
And just sitting in the work van just like die
I remember blood sugar just like a fucking earthquake. I remember I would come home
I first moved to York as long as my buddy in the Heights I
Was working that shitty job I'd come home and I'd stop at
This is how fat I was I would have to take the the bus to the subway and I would get off the bus and hit a pizza place like
20 blocks from my house
Eat I'd crush there and they big heavy thick slices and every time I walked I would do it like a couple times a week
And it's bad when a guy in your Nate your old
You're a regular and not in your neighborhood
You know what I mean?
I got and I probably I'm not even joking. I had pizza for lunch too because I had one
out in New Rochelle too. I would walk him and he'd be like, ah, you know, slice a pepperoni
and a slice of plain. I'm like, yeah, dude, I would fucking I'd munch fucking 15 slices
of pizza and I'd immediately get back and fall asleep on the couch at like six o'clock
before I went out and did spots,
man, those sleeps sweaty fucking the TVs on and you're just like, you can't help but just
fucking your brain shuts down.
Dude, that's brutal.
I was, I thought you were going to do the, the walking bite.
I'm a big fan of that.
There was a big fan of that.
I never walked any getting off the, uh, the train out there in it. Getting off the train out there in Queens, if I was done doing a
weight and table shift during the day and didn't have spots or was going home
before I went out to do spots, stop at PD's burgers, grab a burger, eat that as
I'm walking down the street and then hit the pizza place right next to my
apartment and get like a like dinner like a chicken chicken front says and fucking penny all vodka. Yeah. And all that stuff.
That's when you start a getting real big.
Oh, we're those, those years. I remember those. Yeah. Yeah.
The way up is great.
Sure. Get there. I didn't think that fun. It's lonely at the top. You know what I mean?
It's one way to put it. It's the road paved with chocolate milk.
That's one way to put it. It's the road paved with chocolate milk.
Yeah.
Uh, all right, let's see here.
This is from Matt.
Is it garbage within the first 30 seconds
sitting down at a restaurant?
Your dad harasses the first person in a worker uniform
to go get your waiter because happy hour ends in eight minutes
and I wanna make sure I get my order in.
Oh, man.
I don't disagree with that though.
I thought it was going to be bread.
Mm-hmm.
The Follies expected bread.
Immediately.
Sure.
Sure.
Drop the fucking bread.
There was this one place that they really like the, um,
they were almost like garlic knots.
There was some place in Ambuler PA that they started going to like right after 9.
11, like in the early 2000s that they started going to like right after 9-11. Like in the early 2000s, they started going a little bit of cash.
Things were going good. We were out of the house.
I like to go out to dinner on Thursday and Friday night.
And it was like, like garlic, not bread.
It was so I couldn't believe they gave it to you for free.
And man, they abused it for five baskets.
Yeah. And they wanted it when they pulled it into the parking lot.
But happy hour I get I get I mean happy hour they're trying to get you in there
So it's like hey man if you got me in here and your the prices are going up and fucking eight minutes
At least let me wet my beak on the on the discount beverage. I didn't know happy hour applied to the tables
I thought happy I was only at the bar. That was a bar thing
No, I think happy hour if you sit down at happy hour,
it's like, hey, we have, it's not like every drink,
but it's like, hey, we have a fucking $2 bud,
you know, $2 domestics and half price appetizer.
They want you in there to hang out for, you know.
Listen, pal, get me my bargarita stat,
or it's about to be the angry hour.
Sure, damn it.
I used to go to war with fucking NYU dental students.
You wanna talk about pricks. Used to go to war with fucking NYU dental students. You wanna talk about Pricks.
Used to go to fucking war with them at fucking
this place I worked at in Murray Hill
because they would come in and they would fucking,
there was no happy hour at the tables, right?
And so they would order from the bar and try to sit
at the tables and then order food for me or whatever.
Sure. They were trying to play both sides,
they were trying to get best at both worlds.
Yeah.
Have a nice table to sit at and also get the half price out.
And I was like, I can't do that.
And it's fucking, I dick about it.
Fucking got in touch with them.
Which I've always respected those rules of a place.
I'm like, hey, yeah, no shit.
Now fucking waiters trying to fucking make a living.
Well, we just did that a fucking drugs to buy.
Ha ha ha.
Excuse me.
We just did that somewhere where we were in fucking San Francisco or whatever and we ordered
that place across the street from the Airbnb and I'm like, you know, we had ordered and
there was no seats available and it was like a, oh my god, that's different though.
That's very different because they were like, oh, do you want it for here to go?
And I'm like, oh, well, there was no seats available.
What a fucking dick.
I'm like, can we have it for here? Like, you know, can we have it for here?
And she was like, nah, you're not really supposed to.
I don't know.
But meanwhile, there was four or five tables sitting down,
eating fucking shit that wasn't even from there,
because they were attached to a goddamn grocery store.
I know, I'm like, I wouldn't be like, I'll tip you.
Like, I won't tip you for your services.
I'm like, if you bring it, but it's like,
what the fuck, when you're breaking my fucking
Lady at the fucking register was a dick about you guys can take your drinks
Don't you put it in a fucking bag. Yeah, and what the fuck happened to bags by the way
Can I ask you that you fucking try to get a bag anywhere? It's like they're giving you a fucking kidney
Fucking you wrap it up yourself paper plastic whatever it is. They don't want to give you a bag
Nobody wants to give you bags. Those plastic bags are out fine. You got paper bags back there. We got a pay for them
All right, I know I I listen I understand on the same way, but most people do you want a bag?
Do I want a bag? What am I a fucking asshole? It's deferred to no bag now. Yeah
I just had that a wall wall when I was down there. They're doing that shit. I was like, I thought I'd put a bunch of stuff.
Listen, I had a sandwich, I had a bag of Doritos,
I had a pack of heaters and two wawa diet ice teas.
There's a wawa order can get out of,
could you give me a suitcase?
That's a lot to carry.
Two drinks, a bag of chips, a sandwich and heaters.
And I'm like, oh, so he rang me up and I paid him,
I'm like, oh, can I have a bag?
And he's like, it's 35 cents or whatever.
I want to go, what am I going to walk out of here?
Like a fucking, like a beggar with all this stuff in my hands.
Like I'm looting the joint.
What the fuck, give me a bag, Bob, pay the 35 cents.
You know, I got a smashing grab this joint, you prick.
What the fuck?
Oh, hey, I'm going to kick me a bag.
I'm going to go to the gentleman here.
I got a eaters and diet at I.C.
Fuckin' what do I look like here?
People know my business or my chloric intake.
Hardly any of you can say.
I did spring for the shorty, not the classic, by the way.
I was watching my figure.
Even though they're expensive and a waste grocery store those like
Felt ones to like the real thin felt no like the plastic ones like the ones that are like suitcases
Like the nice bags at a grocery store. Oh
Got like to plant like the waterproof one. Yeah, let's go. Oh, I'm all on them. Let's go We bought we have like the real the reusable, but they're like who's not throwing those out the second it's the same shit
What people save those do they yeah, they reuse them huh most a couple times and then it gets to be too many
I'll never see someone on the subway with those things like doing duck tapes and shit like body
They're a nickel. I'll but you'll get a new I always forget to bring mine of the grocery store
Yeah, never I buy on every time I'm new every time I have seven hundred hundred for gas. I'm not I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm pulling that out. Who am I my mom?
Fuck out of here. Write my bike back to the house with a bag get sticking out of my basket. I
went to Acme over the some or something. I'm like yeah how am I going to go to Acme? She's like well
stop by the house and get the bag. It was like a 10 minutes out of the way.
I'm like, lady, I'm not adding 20 minutes to my trip
to save a dollar 50 year.
It'll cost more in gas.
I got cash.
You know what I mean?
Oh, that's a real trashy statement.
Anyway, it costs you more in gas.
I gotta go all the way out there.
Man, I've been hit with that a couple of times
by some uncles.
What are you doing?
You wasting all that gas money.
Well, the big thing that, so the Germans,
they've been on the system no bags for a minute.
You bring your own bag.
Bring your own bag.
If you buy a bag there, they look at you
like who the fuck do you, it's like vet,
like you don't, they don't even have them, you know.
Yeah.
And I'm like, we're buying a bag and do my,
why I mean, she'll put a can of tomato sauce in her ass.
Like it's like dude,
you get they like sit there.
They have a table afterwards that you go and take your belongings to and then
just start shovel them in all your pockets and your jackets and your if you
didn't bring your bag.
Yeah, no one wants to bring a bag.
Yeah, it's like they just stuffed their pockets.
So you got like cheese in there like you got some breeze, some eggs in your eggs
in your shoes.
We should have to wear your shopping vest.
It's fucking whack.
I'm like, lady, we're getting a fucking bag.
Like you're going on safari.
Yeah.
Full Christmas, I got new shopping trousers.
It's like when Karen Hill went into jail to visit him.
Yeah.
And it's like, oh, come on, you got Salami in her coat and shit.
We get the fuck outta here.
Get in.
Remember late 90s, early 2000s, when like good people like environmental people started like doing that
Showing up with their own bag and shit. Yeah, I was I was I was a cash the ridicule
They I was I was a cashier and man
I didn't even like touch in their bags. This is a in with a casual deodorant. Yeah, crusty hippies.
You're such a dirtbag, you're making the wrong reference.
You're like, look at Isaac Newton.
No.
Hey, Benjamin Franklin.
What are you trying to say to plan it?
Hey, Helen Keller, nice burlap sack, eh?
Fucking scumbags.
Oh, man.
Look at it.
Dude, it was two, the year was 2003 into four. I'm not a good guy. I'm a good guy. I'm a good guy. I'm a good guy. I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy.
I'm a good guy. I'm a good guy. I'm a good guy. I'm a good guy. I'm saying that's real whole foods vibe. There was no whole foods back. Ah.
And that was a fresh fields. That was a high, that was a higher end acme and they would come in and man, you could tell when they were like three people
back in your line. You're like, this is an own bag or we got here.
They got their own bags. They check out cat and plan it over there. Meanwhile, I'm triple plastic bag.
I smelled your patrulli stink when you walked in.
Meanwhile, I'm like, oh, what are you getting to milk?
Let's put five plastic bags around that.
Kevin, nice day.
You want a double triple, triple plastic?
I got you.
That was the thing when you moved to New York, triple bagging
somebody's sigs.
Hey, don't let them get wet on you.
Make sure you throw them in the drain
Make sure you burn them in the backyard
terrible get those chloro fluorocarbons out there. Oh, man. Yeah, um the pathfinders now look at it. It's it's
Yeah, it's the norm. It's the fucking norm especially in New York. I don't know how many can you see how many states have banned
I'm especially in New York. I don't know how many,
can you see how many states have banned?
Because Jersey did it.
I don't think PA did it.
I don't, I don't miss the plastic bag.
They are, they are whatever.
I like those ones at the store.
The application of the plastic bags
and other things is great.
You got to wet bathing suit.
A plastic bag is great.
You got 30 shoes.
A plastic bag is great.
Look, track, you know, for the recyclables,
all that, the application of it is fantastic.
Yeah, at the hotel, I started using the bag
that's in the bucket of ice for my wet bathing suit
and folded up and put it in there, right in a suitcase.
I don't know if I ever told you this,
I saw my cousin one time, I might have used the pillowcase
for his shoes, his shoes were dirty to put in his luggage.
Took it from the hotel?
Yeah, damn, I brought it back. Took it from the hotel. Yeah. Damn.
I'm not back yet for that.
They don't know.
You don't think?
Wow.
And missing a pillowcase.
18 states of band plastic bags.
There you go.
That's it.
Hawaii, New York, Delaware, Colorado, Illinois, Minnesota, Washington, Massachusetts, Florida,
Maryland, Oregon, California, Maine, Connecticut, Vermont, Arizona, District, DC, and New Jersey.
No shit.
That's it.
18. You gotta think that's almost half.
Yeah, it takes a long time to fucking to enact that.
There's somebody somebody's getting greased on that holding that off a little bit in a couple
of states.
Oh, I don't hate.
Wait, before we get into this next question, I have something I wanted to ask you, fellas.
Hit, tell us.
You know what makes it feel like a real dirt bag and a situation I'm currently in at the
moment, having to use your phone as the remote to your TV. You know what makes it feel like a real dirt bag? And the situation I'm currently in at the moment?
Having to use your phone as the remote to your TV.
Whoa.
That's no good.
First of all, it's amazing that you even know
how to use that technology.
That's crazy.
No.
Download an app.
It's relatively easy, but I got jammed up because...
If you showed my mom that your head would explode I
Couldn't turn the TV on
Yep, so I was like oh the my remote had been fucked up
So I shipped I got a new one but I get seven days. So I'm like all right. I'll I'll work
I'm a smart guy. I own a business. I'll do a workaround. I download the app
But the TV's got to be on so I get then I had the app and couldn't turn the fucking TV on
And then I had the app and couldn't turn the fucking TV on. Ah. And then I had to, they finally, well, the fucking hellhound that chewed the remote. So it does everything but turn the TV on. You can turn the TV on, but it's
not. It's, you don't have to hit the power button. I don't want to explain it because it'll
make me sound like such a nerd. No, I think it has to be on at, it probably can, but in
order for to link the remote, you, you, you, order for it to link the remote
to the, from the order to link the app to the TV,
the TV has to be on.
Yes, but there's a way to wake the TV,
but it's like on the remote app,
it has a power button that only will turn it off
and won't turn it on, you have to like go to reconnect device.
And then when you do that, it wakes the TV up
and then you go back in the remote.
I feel like such a failure. Yeah, it sucks.
Rakes the TV. It's no good. It's been weeks. That's a bad. The bird has it on her phone where she has this thing on the lights
Where she can turn off the lights and the hallway on her phone. Oh, she's probably just talking to ghosts
Uncle Charles scared the shit out of me one night. I was out there fucking brushing my teeth.
Shit the strobe like onions.
I was stroking out. I immediately jumped into it. I can start going in.
I was brushing my teeth and my fucking skibbies and I come out of the bathroom and she fucking hits the lights on me from the room.
I thought it was fucking.
I thought it was it.
It was Jeepers, creepers, get me.
The B-man or whatever. We got that in the burbs. We can fucking, we got everything linked
up to the phones to you can flick them on now. Like I'm on now.
Here. He don't turn a year. I'd be doing that all the time. Just in case. Do you remember
when the remote start for the car hit? Oh, remember it was aftermarket.
Yeah.
My step that had the aftermarket one had its own clicker.
And you'd see someone with two clickers.
You go, oh, you guys got a little bit of cash, you wanna?
Got an auto body guy.
Yeah, no one in my family ever had that.
We were into cold cars exclusively.
Sure, my parents loved it.
Once it became factory. Sure, they parents loved it. Once it became factory,
sure, they weren't aftermarket.
What?
Oh yeah, you kidding me?
Yeah, my mom loved it.
But they were also big fans of going out
and warming up the car.
I was a big, folly move.
You go out there and you fuck, before you get dressed,
like before you, like you're ready to go
before you might that put on his name
uniform, my mom put on her
Ruby tassels
That every keyboard will work
Dead go out there
Scraped the car fucking turn it on the McMullan's never once free as the original cold plunge
Getting in that car going to school dude. I'm ice cold. Yeah. How long did it take?
I would get fucking card my Chevy Luminor that I had all
1995 4th 6 Chevy Luminor whatever the fuck of what 95 Chevy Lume
By the time I got to school it still wasn't blowing hot air that's sig
Sock cuz you're like I got the window open, but it's colder inside than it is outside
Cuz you're like I got the window open but it's colder inside than it is outside The ripping eaters on the way to school. Yeah, yeah, you weren't no, I was fucking an athlete. I'm gonna have a fucking wrestling
What was his name?
Was he tender
Is it sweet lover that he talked to you in public?
It was one night Henry Get over it.
What you're fat ass doing tonight, nothing?
Oh yeah, cold dude, yeah, six on the six before school for sure and when I got one after I crash that card and have a car for a while
Sigs of the bus stop. No, I would get picked up from school, six out front and I would close the garage alright Denise
I'll see I knew she had a hop in the shower. So I would just fucking close the garage door.
And I'd stand in a blind spot, cranky heater, boom, flick it. If there was snow, I had at
least a couple of weeks left. Deal with that.
I keep them moving. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Uh, well you two, you guys too young for anybody smoking on the school bus.
What?
Yeah.
Yeah.
No.
Yes.
No.
Seventh and eighth grade.
No.
Yes.
No, not like smoking like they're on a flight, sneaking heaters in the back with the windows down.
The bad kids.
Oh, okay.
I thought that was open.
No.
Like asking for the driver for a light and shit.
Oh, okay, I thought that I thought it was open. No, like asking for the driver for a light and shit.
Teacher, believe they just raised mob rows again?
As bullshit.
I got a bad cough. Let me bump a cigarette, will you?
Let me get one of them chest of fields from a young man.
Yeah, no.
No, like a couple of dirt bag kids.
We were on the back of the bus.
Did no one have a sense of smell to like 1997?
Yeah, because everybody was smoking everywhere. What a smoking. It didn't matter.
If everybody was smoking everywhere, you were just used to it. The one stairwell of my high
school, reek of heaters. Yeah, we didn't have reek in crush when you walk.
Yeah, that was the big thing too. Like I was smoking like smoking in the boys like in
the bathroom. I think like one kid tried it and like the smoke alarm went like you couldn't pull that off anymore
No, you kids are still one of my boys my boys
Was hoffing he hears he'd come in dizzy because he would do like three or four major pulls
Then walk in all loop I know that he's hit the dust off game. Uh-huh. Oh, it's an alright feel
Fuckin' sitting in science I know that you hit the dust off game. Uh-huh. I am. Yeah, that's an all right feel.
Fucking sitting in science class. I like it.
I don't like that. That's that's sick feeling in my stomach.
All right, let's see here. This is from OZ. Big burps.
$10 cap. Oh, never have one red.
Are you garbage? If your parents Christmas presents,
that this is what he bought for his parents.
Our work boots for mom and announce a hash for that. That's what he bought for his parents. Uh-huh. Our work boots for mom and an ounce of hash for dad.
That's what they asked for.
Man.
Where do you get hash these days?
Where do you get an ounce of hash?
2020, 24.
Holy shit.
You gotta go to the far east.
You gotta import that, dude.
No, I haven't seen hash in legit a decade.
Yeah, I haven't even seen the awful house.
Fucking job mop, let's go.
Even that's cash 10 years ago was rare.
What?
Passion 1978 was rare.
I know, that's what I'm saying.
We went through a baby phase of that.
That's how it's smoking.
Hash.
A little bit of reef for sure.
We're all gentlemen here.
It's legal and or decriminalized the most areas guys
Those shaking off. Nama I have faded tattoos, bro and fucking demons. Yeah, you're hitting the fucking pipe
Whoa, that's crazy
I don't even know what hash really is. It's I'll look it up
It looks like brownie. It's pressed.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like pressed.
Just pressed THC, right?
I don't, I don't, I genuinely don't,
I've never smoked that.
I mean, it was so, the handful, like the hippie kids
who were into like fish and the dead and stuff like that,
they would get their hands on it.
Like, I got a wish.
Like, all right, well, I don't want to talk to you
for a week.
Keep it moving.
Take your opium and yeah, I got fucking I got heaters to catch. I need you fucking dipping out on me.
I'm like, you're going night night.
Hatch oil man. You take that me con delta shit.
Ami a Budweiser, you're a comedy bastard.
He's smoke flour in these parts.
Yeah.
Mexican brick.
We want to smoke the devil's lettuce.
Hey, teach your own, but you're not going to stand here and smoke hash.
If I can communist Chinese dash in front of me.
You're that poppy peep.
You're not my fucking piece.
Okay, so the way you make hash is you remove the
psychoactive parts of the bud,
like so when you have a really nice nug
and it looks like it'll snow it on,
basically get all that off the bud.
The keef.
Yeah, and...
Ish.
Yeah, sure.
And then you...
Except as those get flagged.
And then you...
And then you press it.
And it makes an oil.
No, it hardens it. It's like you press it. And it makes an oil. No, no, no, no, it hardens it.
It's like, you can jam it.
Gotcha.
Compounds.
That's real drug shit.
Like, not, not, not against it, but I'm just saying,
that's man, your dad wants an ounce.
An ounce, that's a brick.
That's crazy.
Look up how voluwise it, oh yeah, because that's compact.
See what an ounce of hash looks like can you you know what I mean
Let me see if I can find it and if there's still any warlords in lousy that we have
Scorries that's crazy here I found one on reddit
Oh, it's not that much, but that's got at least y'all long time. It's just looks like a little
One of those little buds one of those little bites those little brownie bites
These are all right. Yeah, do a corner that you'd be on the moon
Man dude your dad smoking hash. Oh, why shit man
Yeah, talk about stuck in the 70s. I
Smoked some fentanyl or something. I smoked hash bliffs in
Spain and they would really crack when you bold them.
Oh, man. God.
That shit's wild, man. That's their wild Christmas presents for your parents.
That's what's on there, Liz. That's what's on there.
Uh, they didn't break your bones about the PlayStation 5, the award, probably.
Sure. Paraguark boots and some fucking brick.
Also, work boots for mom is a wild that's also very telling
first of all that you're your hippie your hippie as dad should get a job and let
let mom take a take a day off in the factory take a toe off the edge
right this girl's going to fucking work all day he's he's fucking you know
can you imagine shaking someone's mom's hand to being like
God yeah, good
Powerful guy with a dad like me
You smoke it your mom's got rough hands, bro
Too much if you
You walked into a guy you walked into your buddy's house to meet his parents or your you know your girlfriend's parents or whatever and the dad's I just picture like the beaded fucking door and stuff and he's he's like
pattern baldness into a pony bell he's just there fucking getting ripped you want to hit it Hash man
Hey tracks
God I mean saw the umbluanq we that's good. That's wild. I didn't even like parents back in the day It was obviously different and all that aside. I gave it's changed
But knowing parents that would smoke weed in front of their other who kind of like openly smoked weed that was weird to me
It's like buddy man
Get your shit to go to a pta meeting do something. Yeah, you know over here smoking blunts. You know to make a man
That held you grow up lady
fucking
Skirl
That was a home run of a question man
That was a home run of a question, man. All right, this one's from Friday night Habachi.
What are your thoughts on my parents running
an industrial margarita machine for my high school graduation party?
My dad did it and I broke a lamp and had to be put to bed by 10 o'clock.
Man, those margarita machines will ruin a party.
It'll be great for about 90 minutes.
Nah, they're awesome, Dad.
And then someone's swinging on somebody,
someone's falling in the pool, a lamp's getting broken.
Dude, that is one of my favorite things on the planet.
Frozen margarita.
A strong frozen margarita.
I fucking love them.
That's alright, dude.
I don't fucking disagree cherry and a lime and some salt on the rim
Heavy bike. That's what I'm talking about
That's like when we were down in Florida. We went to like one of those
Beach bought like a fat Tuesday kind of thing and they had like the margarita wall or something and it was like you know
50 of them on there and you're like I'll do a tropical thing I'll do a Burton Ernie let me
do a whatever whatever man I have sucking those things down getting a sugar
rush in a brain freeze but getting twisted I felt like I was smoking ash
they're slogan is home of the world's fastest thing oh yeah that sugar the next day Sunday skieries in stereo fucking Jamie up. That brought
up something that I wanted to touch on a little bit. I'm listening. There was that period
from especially if you're family party. If your family were drinkers, you know what I mean?
You had a big family extended family. There was that window, I would say,
between somewhere in high school to maybe sophomore junior year
of college, where there was always a cousin,
or maybe you, happens to the best of us,
that overdid it at a family thing.
Got fucked up,
had to be put to bed or taken away by a dad or a uncle,
started crying, shit to bed, threw up, said something fucked up.
You know?
Yeah, we had a couple of those.
Yeah, I've told a certain amount of my cousin Sean got all fucked up into Thanksgiving.
And I told you this, he had like the platter of like the turkey or whatever or the.
He ended up sitting on the table like a table like this and he thought he was all
phoenix.
We want hash or something.
He thought he was driving the bus.
Like he thought he was driving a bus and he was like all aboard or what I, like I guess
he was having fun or whatever.
Yeah, but I mean it was Thanksgiving or whatever. Yeah, but if I mean it was
Thanks you think they table yeah, or Christmas dinner everybody's like what the fuck?
Yeah, that fucked up. I was talking like a graduation party or something
Yeah, we so we would always party afterwards like we'd all be wherever we were with the family
Everybody's having two three beers the kids are sni it's like all right the kids are a lot of start having beers or the parents are looking the other way. And then they would, the parents, or the kids would
all go somewhere and continue the party on their own. That's when it got, you know,
Kevin and Danny got into it, Steve and Billy got into it.
I'm talking at the party in front of like relatives. We had a couple of things like that. Luckily, I did all that stuff on
the low with friends in private circles. I'd get fucked up and embarrassed myself there,
but I got away with never doing it at a family thing, like being the cousin that you know,
got fucked up and, you know, threw up or what?
Sure. I did do it at my friend's house in front of his family at a graduation party.
Black, black out drunk fucking doing a dice in personation.
Oh!
In their living room. I ended up being all over their their powder room.
Yeah, I had a buddy peel my mom's TV one time and then one to fight me afterwards.
Like, you know know black now woke up
The hurt credit his mom was cool shit about it. Yeah, I would be cool till I think if like it's like yeah, you're 18 and you're I was an eighth grade
Hey, go see if your dad's gonna be at it. That's party. That's when we started sneaking beers
I I worked that night and they had they had this huge graduation party and fucking
Line the fucking bottom of his of his dresser drawer with
Trash bags I stood down and just slowly throughout the night just poaching them. Yeah, couple couple
My dad my dad would have they had a bar set up the house always, but they had the like regular.
That's crazy.
They had like regular, you know, bottles of liquor,
but he would buy the handle of whatever brand.
So if you had like a bottle of smear-n-off,
you'd have a handle that he would refill that bottle.
Right.
That's keeping up appearances.
Gentlemen.
Yeah, but it was perfect for me,
because then I'm going into the pantry,
sneaking shots all day long. I finally told him like two years ago and he was like,
I knew I wasn't drinking that. I mean, I was going through a handle a day. I mean,
I'm good, but not that good. They had a bar set up all the time. You're, they didn't
have that at the pieces house, right? A bar set up. No, we were there. They were
wine and beer drinkers.
It's like, I mean, there was constantly always a bottle of Nese wine.
Yeah, sure, in the fridge.
That's also how you know, you know, she's got Nese wine, Danny's got Nese wine, my
sister has Nese wine and now I, in the burbs, I also, we keep, because it's like, I know
I'm going to have to get it, if she's coming out, she comes over,
she wants a glass of wine,
so it's like, we got three of the Magna bottles
in the cupboard.
I'll say the least one.
I'll say the least one.
Was she barefoot?
Is that what she likes?
No, uh, cavet, Pino.
Ooh.
Kivet.
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
Kivet.
I do a bottle, I do a glass of Pino.
What's the Pino?
Comes with two scratchers and a Goldberg chew.
Ha ha ha ha ha! You have those two scratchers and a Goldberg chew.
You have those. Did you know the Goldberg chewest?
That was funny.
Come on.
Well, yeah, wait a shoot yourself in the foot.
You should have just took the lab.
Yeah.
Well, you get that.
I love them.
Yeah.
We've got to wrap it up gang.
What a fun one.
Yes.
What's that?
Who?
Yeah.
Gang.
We love you to death.
We can't thank you enough.
Excited for 2024.
As the the bold one said, get over there.
Grab your tickets to town hall.
May 9th, come out and see the boys there in New York City.
And pick up a few, get a pack of cards.
Yep, AYG, second version of the RU garbage card game.
We love you very much.
And we'll see you next week.
Peace.
much and we'll see you next week.