Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Trashy Teachers w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: January 11, 2024

Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live ...show! NYC Town Hall Live Show: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows NEW AYG Card Game: https://areyougarbage.com/products/are-you-garbage-card-game Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Butcher Box: https://www.ButcherBox.com/AYG Promo Code: AYG Helix Sleep: https://www.helixsleep.com/Garbage Promo Code: Helixpartner20 Support the show by downloading the DraftKings Sportsbook App and using the code AYG. If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/LA/MI/NJ/PA/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/NH), 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), visit OPGR.org (OR), call/text TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA).   21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/LA(select parishes)/MI/NH/NJ/ NY/OR/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. New customer offer void in NH/OR/ONT-CA. $200 in Free bets: New customers only. Valid 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min $5 wager. $200 issued as eight (8) $25 free bets. Ends 9/19/22 @ 8pm. Early Win: 1 Early Win Token issued per eligible game. Opt in req. Token expires at start of eligible game. Min moneyline bet $1. Wagering limits apply. Wagers placed on both sides of moneyline will void bet. Ends 1/8/23 @ 8pm ET. See terms at sportsbook dot draftkings dot com slash football terms. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 New York City, New York. The boys are coming to the great white way. I'm Broadway at the town hall theater. May 9th, stand up comedy. Kippy and I co-edline. Then we played a little AYG with the crowd. It's the biggest show we've ever done. We want to sell it out, come out and see us.
Starting point is 00:00:14 Yeah, get your tickets at rUgarbage.com where the RU Garbage Card Game is available right now. For sale, it's over 50 of our favorite questions from the show. Something you have heard. Something you haven't heard. It's a good time to get a play with your friends. Find out who's trash. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:00:27 Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Gobbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and age foley Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is our you garbage Oh, yeah, so I lose show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that I think we're to be clear See just a big old piece of trash I'm your host takes fully coming at you out on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tuddy's in the new
Starting point is 00:01:05 Edition she is upstairs getting dinner ready. Okay My co-host is coming at you from across the table. He loves a misdirected guy She's a working gal, you know, he's the CEO of our you garbage international business man And don't forget he's gonna be having a big keger this weekend when his parents are away Give it up for young Kevin James Ryan everybody. What's up fellow kids? How you doing? First of all, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes, which by the way,
Starting point is 00:01:30 I think that's a thing again. Get back and start dropping in reviews. We appreciate the love. Yeah. And obviously full video available on YouTube as you know those numbers are. Shruder off cooking. Cooking.
Starting point is 00:01:39 And obviously the greatest website of all time you go over there, www.patreon.com, slash RU garbage, you sign up, you get over a bajillion hours of bonus content, baby. It's fantastic over there. And we just had, I gotta say, maybe in all time, one of the best, all time, EPSA hard feelings, talk about taking a left down the fully filled baby.
Starting point is 00:01:58 I've got more messages. Nice down there this time of year. I've got more messages about this episode than I think anything ever. And do you sell the favor, get over to that rUgarbage.com, pick it yourself the brand new second edition of the RU Garbage Card Game and pick up some ticks for May 9th
Starting point is 00:02:13 that come see the boys at the town, all theater. In New York City, it's the biggest show we've ever done and we wanna see is all there. And how about a nice quick shout out to our producer, extra to an airy old magic man makes us all look good, works the ones the twos, the threes and the fours, he crosses the tees and he dots the eyes. And it's a word in the words of that hillbilly doctor
Starting point is 00:02:31 that gave birth to him. Holy boy, that thing is huge. Should name that boy Willie. He's like, Scrap it. Help me, Big Mully. What up, dude? That's working enough for like four hours. Oh, that was great, dude.
Starting point is 00:02:43 This is a day, huh? Yeah, I couldn't get it. I look like sweet Lord Sousin I think Yo, this looks like I'm looking at detention Like keep me just caught with a paintball gun and his locker and pull these having to sit him down again But talking kind of what are you a transit copy? It's laundry day and I ran out of product. I'm dying over here.
Starting point is 00:03:07 You've been doing the backwards hat a lot. Yeah, I do it. It's nice. It's a switch up, man. I'm trying to retap into my fucking, my young school roots, you know what I mean? I was thinking about T-bone today. They all had to know when you were growing up, right?
Starting point is 00:03:23 Like your mom and dad were like changing and stuff like that's big is it I don't know mine's never gotten big But I don't think it's big it's gotta get turned on at a certain age. Can I let you in on the pure psychosis? Change of the diapers fallen out and stuff It's hanging out this side of the diaper Dancing I don't know want the big deal is It's all proportionate My mom's handed me the bills and shit It's in the head of the tables and you were 13th
Starting point is 00:03:59 So here's the there's the skinny boys. Here's the thick. You know, you're skinny about that. So as you know, I went to a boarding school. You're true. Get in here. Look at this thing. That's episodes flagged for sure. I went to boarding school, as you know. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:04:15 So around 14. Getting it to Rooms. How to check that thing. Keep that in a closet. So around 14, I'm sitting there, you know, there's hogs all around. I wanna have a cool hog. I do the mental math.
Starting point is 00:04:30 I've never talked about this publicly. I did the mental math. My body's growing, this is my only chance at it. I started doing dick exercises. Really? What? That's what happened to Tommy Lee too. That was the myth back in the day.
Starting point is 00:04:42 He did some workin' it out? I guess. I was sittin' the the day. He did some's working it out. I guess I was it in the gym Really? What like like the thrusts and stuff. I tied to the back of a car Beed up a bit up a piece of meat. So do you have three three dumbbells? I wish I was joking, but I did I did all that's a cookie cock I exercise man Real I was my problem. Yeah, I should have done that talk about a not an Irish. I got a real I got a real couch potato there. I Got a wet my guy in the shape talk about a hypothesis. You can never put to the test course. Yeah
Starting point is 00:05:16 Geez, okay, well now you know Maybe what if I start now? There you go. That's a possibility Maybe with maybe with some plastic surgery. I don't know if that Peloton can work that kind of magic Maybe what if I start now? You think that's a possibility? Maybe with some plastic surgery. I don't know if that peloton can work that kind of magic. Yeah, you're gonna need a plane ticket to Greece or something dude.
Starting point is 00:05:31 Hey, I'm, hey, they did that. Whoever's playing ball, I'm in. Gang, as you know, we're here for a little family episode. Just to boys, the bozos and the homies. It's good to see you fellas. Yeah, it's nice to see you. Nice to see you. I got a little thing.
Starting point is 00:05:44 I was obviously we talk about car accessories a lot on the program. It's been well documented. Aftermarket. Aftermarket things. And one of the big things that a lot of people do, which I always kind of like, I think it is trashy,
Starting point is 00:05:57 but I always kind of like, if it's done right, it looks good. It's like, the bandana, oh, I would never do it, but the bandana on the headrest sometimes. The headrest. Yeah, you know how like there's the headrest on the seat. Review mirror.
Starting point is 00:06:10 What? Headrest. Muffler. Tailpipe. Do you know what a headrest is? Yeah, it's a draw. Okay. But didn't you bandana on that?
Starting point is 00:06:18 People do it as like a cover, like they'll like wrap it around. Mm-hmm. Never seen it. Go ahead. Or like a headrest cover, you've had a- I've seen them pull like a mask in the dry- In the passenger side. Well that's what-
Starting point is 00:06:27 That's what happened. Scared the fucking shit. Somebody put a ski mask on theirs. I thought the ops was all I've done me on the New Jersey dirt bike dude. I- It was raining and I thought, dude, I- It was like a steam from the town. I thought I was getting-
Starting point is 00:06:41 I thought it was- Looks over, hey. Dude, it was fucking- They were- It was this minivan and they were hanging behind me and I'm like, what the fuck? I looked in this picture to guy with an AK coming at me. Scared the shit out. God, that guy. Yeah. Is that like a carpool lane? I think it's a it's so you stay away from the car. You don't rob the car. But you think somebody's in there. You can't really tell if somebody's in there. Okay. I don't know if that would work for the car pool lane. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Do they enforce that? I don't even know if they enforce that. I get pulled over. Yeah, they've been risk it. I'm a bad ass. I'll risk it.
Starting point is 00:07:14 They also switched it. I don't know what it's like in your local state or County, but took me a minute. Jesus Christ. but what did it took me a minute? Jesus Christ. It's three now. You got three people in the car. It used to be two. Now you got to have three.
Starting point is 00:07:31 I knew a fuck striving around with three people. I'll do it with me, my wife and my dog. Three grown men in a car together. It's the weirdest thing ever. We do it all the time. We've done it all over the country. Hey, we're straight. And we're a little creepo.
Starting point is 00:07:42 We all have masks on. Yeah, it's the people to commute from around New York. It's the people in Jersey who are driving in of like meet up, grab a gaggle of people. My sister did that every day to school. What? What do you mean? She worked pretty far away. Okay.
Starting point is 00:08:00 And another person lived by her. So they drove to work every day for like 15 years together Yeah, they would take turns and I'm like what if it sucked? How do you get out of it? Oh, man? I don't like it didn't I don't like talking to anybody ever. Oh, that's brutal I used to take to train home when I worked in New Rochelle I would take to train back down to the city the MTA like the you know, what is it called? the MTA Trinidad but the long-round railroad now
Starting point is 00:08:29 Metro North I would take the Metro class the operation What no in name sure? I can't believe it. Thank you. Yeah, I put the Metro North And leave it a grand central a grand central is a nice train station if you're trying to cop heroin No, one part of it's nice. There's a couple of award winning restaurants in there too. There's a place with the oyster. There's like an always a famous oyster bar. Michael Jordan stay cast.
Starting point is 00:08:53 Where we always take it. There I don't know. Let's go to the go for the extra point. Steve Kerr footwear. What? He's on the team. Man, I used to get a bacon, I can cheese in the grand central. It was, wherever I, if I was going somewhere, man, it would blow your socks off. Good stuff. Right, it was, there was a bagel joint right in the corner there.
Starting point is 00:09:18 Oh my God. Yeah. My brother took the train in all the time when he was living in Philly and working up here. And they all knew each other. It was all everybody on Amtrak and they would all sit in like the business thing. Sure, it's the same guys on the 815 and then. They all knew each other. And man, I tell you, they were real territorial about where they sat. If they weren't sitting in like the right, they start screaming at each other.
Starting point is 00:09:39 Who are you and you can't sit there and this and that. It's a fucking high school over here. You guys make like 400 grand a you Taking the goddamn train for anyway. I used to do it when I had to take SEPTA from summer 10 down down in the center city He's I'm talking about I know what we would talking about Titans of industry Not you on your way to finish line. I was working in bookie You know bookie I don't know it. I was working in it. I should say um Explains all the all the envelopes and toadies male
Starting point is 00:10:13 As trash people are looking for it's I think about on what you're doing over and that shit's in my name, dude It's on auto pay. It should be oh Fuck I think we canceled that card I gotta look into that I'm bad it bills they're gonna dump trash in front of the building like in fucking subrano's fucking rat knocks on the door Fuck I gotta look into that that's it you don't want to cross it. You don't want to cross. Oh my god I just realized something to I got knocked for a Late payment on something on my credit report through Through me? I would, I know. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:10:46 Well, wasn't. I didn't say, because when you look, if you look for it, then they hit you again. I don't want to run my credit report because then they knock you again. It should tell you. Knock me down, like not just as one delinquent, one mispayment.
Starting point is 00:10:58 And I got everything all straightened out as far as I know. I'm 716 checked last night. 716. Pretty good. That's not bad. Out of 5,000. It's not bad at all. No, yeah, I'm feeling it.
Starting point is 00:11:11 Maybe that was it. What? Would they knock your credit report for not paying your fucking trash people? No. Great. That's not an organization you want to get into bed with. Bookkeeping, huh?
Starting point is 00:11:23 Skimming. Book, skimming. Bookkeeping, huh? Skimming. Bookskimming. But they get real, so like. Well, hold on, so you know credits and debits and stuff like that? Sure. Because they always confuse me. I mix them up from time to time. Yeah, it's, because the debit,
Starting point is 00:11:36 you debit your account as a positive. You credit your account, it's a negative. Yeah, but don't they switch it up at some point? But a debit card, you take money out. And a credit card, I don't know, it was something in high school that confused you. Yeah, deb don't they switch it up at some point, but a debit card you take money out and a credit card I don't know it was something in high school that confused Yeah, that's a credits Yeah, you're tea. I think they call them like your tea box or something my lacrosse coach was the teacher So it didn't matter but still it could have been jam up city
Starting point is 00:11:59 I hate our basketball coaches our counting coach nice. Yeah. I hated all that dumb shit that we had to learn That didn't that's the stuff you need for light. You didn't need trigonometry. I didn't need any of it just the cooking class I don't find yourself a kid be the home the home at classes the only time I that ninth grade science is really the only time I learned anything and and my English literature classes that I took shot to mr. Blanche fucking best I mr. Kelly. Yeah, that out there you guys think they're listening. I miss to Mr. Blanche. Fuckin' best. I'm Mr. Kelly. Yeah. That out to you guys. I think they're listening.
Starting point is 00:12:28 Nah, I think Mr. Blanche passed away. Okay, and there we are. It's a record. I fucking nine minutes in. You bring up at that guy. And I loved him. It was a good teacher. You know, you had that one good teacher that was awesome.
Starting point is 00:12:39 I don't think I had that many. Oh, I had a couple. I had a couple. I had a couple that were like decent younger, like the elementary school teachers, like those women were great, they were fantastic. I hated them. Not they were great.
Starting point is 00:12:53 They hated me. I had a couple of nuns that made me. Oh, we did it. Yeah, I mean, I went to public school. They were like downright abusive. Is one really had it in for me. They're known for that. Yeah, I used to fuck with her bad though. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:13:05 Hate it my guts. I remember squeezing the You know the little thing on the water fountain a little knob sure I broke it off and I had it my hand She she was like the rock she put her hand I mean squeeze it in my hand Bitch It's like man hands like that wasn't a twist off Yeah, I didn't like the I didn't like the younger people when I was younger. When I was developing as a writer and as an artist in my high school years, you what? I had a couple of really good English tea when I started reading like the catcher in the rye and you started getting deep really started finding yourself. You're talking about this guy like it's Robin Williams
Starting point is 00:13:47 and the dead poet society. Meanwhile, he's driving a 1986 Volvo. Seize the day, boys. He's got a roommate and shit. Nah, he was great. He's getting a ride on with you and your mom. Yep. Can we drop off Mr. Beakman?
Starting point is 00:14:00 Yeah, man. That happened at the theater one time. You really do have some rose colored glasses when you're looking back at stuff. Halfway through the... The catcher of the rice sticks. Halfway through stud, I disagreed that. Halfway through studying at the same time. Nine pages, you ready? Love.
Starting point is 00:14:18 I read the whole thing. Okay. It's one of the only books I ever read. I read about five books. I tell people that I read a lot more. Quipper egg up. Yeah, no, that's your number. I read that, the old man in the sea, Atlas Shrugged.
Starting point is 00:14:30 Just Shrug. Cherry. What's that? Cherry, Cherry International. That's gonna say the fleshlight manual. Cherry was a nudie mag. Oh yeah? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:44 But you don't remember this when I- when I, when I, you know, yeah, I do. What I can tell me what I remember when I lived in New York, the first time, the magazine stores, you should just have porn out. Sure. I was always like up in the top and I'm telling dude, I remember when I was hitting a little, no, when I first got up here late 90s, it was out everywhere. All right. Yeah, they had them in the cellophane and it would have like a it would be a good three. It was caught I mean, it wasn't showing these seals. I'm sure you knew I wasn't a fucking sports illustrator. I could tell you that
Starting point is 00:15:17 That was big for a guy my age at that swimsuit Edition that ends up at your house your buddy's house. your walkin with a couple of pages that shout out the patron Them Kova found her in about seven very Elmick fearson me never did it for me athletic bodies I'm against it. Yeah, it's tasteful too one pieces doing nice one piece I got nice one piece and then went to paint it on Oh, yeah, I remember that year. Oh, we got real screwy. It was all downhill from there. Where do you go from that? Can't put those daisy duces back on. Yeah, it's guy's, you see.
Starting point is 00:15:50 He had spray painted boobs here. I remember coming home, we had a long driveway over a creek and my brother and the, What? Hold on. Hold on. Hold, that says nothing about how I pictured the home
Starting point is 00:16:02 you grew up in. A long driveway over, you were one of those families You had water on the property long driveway circle drive would be back around Thought you lived in a condo. Yeah, that was later on this was this was this was at the height When I was really young, okay, and could you like playing the creek? Feed the feed the fish and stuff it wasn wasn't that deep. Talking about an ankle-deak creek. It sounds like a puddle. More of a creek, if you will.
Starting point is 00:16:28 Shout out to a creek. Would it swell up when it storms? I don't remember as well. I do remember coming home and seeing my brother and the neighbor kid having trying to reassemble a playboy. They had hidden and then it got wet. And they were like, they were trying to reassemble it, like the FBI outside of
Starting point is 00:16:45 Enron. Sure. I'm going to put shredded documents back together. Doing that's one thing but doing that rock hard is man. He might as well have a gun to the back of your head. Oh man. Those hormones were pumping. We were from the age of where we would print them out on paper like to somebody because you couldn't get your hands on a, I mean, if you were 13 at that, when I was 13, come in, what are you doing there? You had to map it out. And sometimes you hear the garage door open. It's guys down there like Gutenberg.
Starting point is 00:17:17 A board, a board. I'll never forget my fucking thousand page book, the Britain press is getting call over space and his hands Do you live? Oh, that's how you had to do it. They've been frank. Let's take it easy Well, what the fuck else I'm I never called the book of Eli over here. I'm so it's all in Braille. I didn't have I thought it's all in Braille. I didn't have a, I didn't have a call. I couldn't get your hands on it, I have a fake ID, and streaming, not whatever we want to call it. You couldn't watch videos like that
Starting point is 00:17:53 at the time on dialogue. So it was mostly just getting your hands on pictures. And at that time, there was still all spread out, and then free ones was the first real site you would go to and you could look, and you would print them out from there. Ooh, Chloe Jones. They're pushing for a color printer that Christmas.
Starting point is 00:18:10 Oh yeah, I remember how you wanted an Nintendo. No, no, no, no. I went down with the Epson state of the art. Three and one, I'm making copies. I got a book report. Leave me alone. copies. I got a book report. We feel it. My's the printer in the bathroom. No, a lot of people did that for
Starting point is 00:18:33 sure. I mean, we would do it. We'd go over my buddy's house and he had a we would print it out there and he had all the accessories. So we I already print out their own thing and then head head on wayward. Alright, so come pick me up. spitball on this on Monday boys are circle back thing we got enough done for the day See you guys when school done we're all wearing short sleeve button downs
Starting point is 00:18:59 One sleeve roll up That was the age because magazines were phased out and you couldn't get your hands on them and video was VHS. When you were a kid you had maximum you had all that stuff. Maxim. Yeah but yeah you could get your hands on maximum but then there's real naked they were they were just there was real naked women on the internet you can look at but you couldn't always get you know you could know sometimes the computer was in the family room room somebody's dead with a pop up and it's real making women online waiting to meet me
Starting point is 00:19:33 He'll take it with us At that time I had in it was until early in my 30s It's not getting around. Wasn't till early in my 30s. Kept what you talking about, Draft Kings, baby. Shout out to the King. Draft King sports books and official sports betting partner of the NFL playoffs. It's a playoffs season, baby.
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Starting point is 00:21:33 Gaming resources do it apply Kip but your box shut up at a box Just a favorite of ours here at RU Garb it been for years. Tody's got her freezer stocked with meat Talking free range. We're talking grass fed grass footage finish, wild caught. Better than a road kill you're used to eating. Man, whatever you get at the super market, yeah, they can kick rocks, gang, get butcher box. We know you've been sucking down Christmas in New Year's Eve cookies for the last couple of weeks, clean it out with a little protein. You know what I'm saying? Yes, sir. Then pick your package, they send it over, Whatever they give you, it's top shelf stuff.
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Starting point is 00:22:22 Mm-hmm, and the shipping is always free. They got an awesome bargain for AYG listeners, cause they love us and we love them. Here it is, we're known. They do. You're not going to get better meat. Mm-hmm. And the shipping is always free. They got an awesome bargain for AYG listeners because they love us and we love them. Here it is. It's probably nuts. New members get two pounds of ground beef, three pounds of chicken breast, or two pounds of salmon for free in every order for all year. God dang it. Plus they get $20 off your first order. Sign up. You're going to have ground beef coming out the wazoo. Sign up today at Put Your Box.com slash box comm slash a wide use the code a wide to choose your free offer and get twenty dollars off that's free protein for a whole year at put your box
Starting point is 00:22:52 comm slash a wide use the code a wide do it do it I hide on this may be a little risky well we started off with you know that might get cut. Did you ever accidentally see something when you were young that you didn't want to see? I think I know where this is going. It's fatherhood tools. Patty, I didn't know. Oh god. It's not beautiful. I don't want to look at her.
Starting point is 00:23:22 I didn't mean like that. That's a weird way to put it. Okay. Uh, no. Like someone naked? Yeah. Caught a distant relative coming out of the shower. She's about 85 at the time.
Starting point is 00:23:35 Yeah. No, I don't think I ever, I don't think I ever caught any of that. No. Sliping out of the shower like a bad avocado. What about you, cripple creek? Have you ever seen anybody washing up down at the quarry? It's guy sifting for gold in that thing. No, everyone is southern upbringing. Everyone kept it real tight. I think everyone put a towel on before they open the curtain. You know what I mean? Sure, I think I was I think probably my dad in like a locker room or changing somewhere like a water park
Starting point is 00:24:13 But that's like he wasn't nobody was water park. Yeah completely naked 90s out of the region waters I don't know I'm pulling water park in my head, but I don't think it was that maybe that gym I was talking about a couple episodes ago. Yeah, but that's it, but like not hiding it like just you know, sure changing in a that I mean, I mean, this was a shocking moment. Mm-hmm. I remember the first time I saw gray pubes. Yeah at the at the Newtown athletic club Wasn't the parking lot Hey, mr. Aberton hey, how you doing? Hey, don't miss us. Oh, howling Yeah, I didn't know they got I didn't know they turned colors too. Wait house tour got a big lower I didn't know what to expect.
Starting point is 00:25:07 You were tour the White House? What? I feel like we've been in there. No. As a kid, they don't do it. I think they do tours there. I think you would know if you've been in the White House. If you would been in the White House,
Starting point is 00:25:17 you would, it was the only thing you would ever talk about. No, I thought it was kind of true. I thought we did something. Don't they have a little part where you can walk in. Yeah, they they have it. We were supposed to go like, I'm pretty sure we were supposed to go like September 18th or something. Called it off. Okay.
Starting point is 00:25:34 Yeah, they put that on lock down. It was that seventh grade. Instead of said we spent the weekend at a CIA black site getting worked over. Dude, in the first like two months of school, we were supposed go to Washington DC tour everything and New York City clamped it down man I know Talk about a bad year tour the American Airlines flint But the guy bushing on all that yikes. Yeah, I'm pretty sure we did that. You went to City Hall in Bluebell and they lied to your fed as.
Starting point is 00:26:06 Yeah, you do. If you were in the White House, first of all, you'd be throwing that in everyone's face. I think we were. You'd be sitting here with a fucking red tie. I know we'd all- I didn't go for some reason. Senator. Congressman, how are you?
Starting point is 00:26:23 A little American flag, but I know you're supposed to go to the Easter egg hunt on the lawn. What lawn on the great lawn, whatever it's called, the South 40, whatever they got down there. Didn't pass a security check. I don't know what it is. What's it called? The Southern lawn. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:26:39 They told him that he wasn't camera ready. Where the hell is this? Hey, listen, you got to lose 15 kid. Get the news is here. Come on. Yeah, chocolate on your face already. Did that to me on double there? Where the hell is he? Hey, listen, he got a lose 15 kid. Get the news is here. Come on. Chocolat on your face already. Did that to me on double there?
Starting point is 00:26:48 I know that's why they didn't cast me on double there. Put a fidget tube. I got stuck in the mouth. Who is the most famous person you met up until 18? Up until 18? We're like, if somebody like Gundier had, who's the most famous person? I saw Michael Spinks at the Philadelphia airport. We were picking somebody up.
Starting point is 00:27:09 No, you met. You had some sort of interaction. I said, we said, what's up? My mom let us go over and say, what's up to him. Okay. He was a big fighter, big boxer. Sure. When I was probably 13 or 14, I think I've told you guys this,
Starting point is 00:27:20 I caddied at Filmont Country Club in Philly for their celebrity golf tournament. Uh-huh. Chris Carter was in our group, but I didn't, we didn't carry his bags. This is what me and my cousin got into the fight in front of him. Sure. And he had to break it up. But I met Charles Barkley. Okay.
Starting point is 00:27:37 Keith Buyers was there. Who is, who is the person you've spent, you were in their company, not just like, hey, what's out like I Dinner with Jack Nicholson I'm asking you hanging out with that's what no on nobody. I'm asking what is your printed porn? What's the highest? I'm not I don't think there and any Jillika Houston Nothing on that obvious. I don't think they're famous, but somebody who and they probably owned like you used them, eh? Nothing on that. Obviously, I don't think they're famous,
Starting point is 00:28:05 but somebody who, they probably owned like a used car lot or something. He slapped box, Billy Bob Poole. You see what I'm saying? Like, who is like, holy shit, so and so is going to be there. Well, I've told you this. I've told you this recently, my dad's, where my dad was stationed in Wokesbury in Avoca,
Starting point is 00:28:28 was right next to the ABC affiliate. Okay. Channel negative three. It was only three, six, and ten back. These guys were like movie stars. Yeah, three, six, and ten was big in our area. And they had this big kid show that was on there in the morning called Miss Judy. Or no, Hatchie Malatchie was big in our area. And they had they had this big kid show that was on there in the morning called
Starting point is 00:28:45 Miss Judy or no, Hachi Malachi was the name of it. Oh, yeah, I think you mentioned. Yeah, yeah, and I love that. I thought she was awesome. Right. You thought she was hot. Yeah. And then we looked her up.
Starting point is 00:28:53 Hey, she was about 80 years old. Um, I hung out with her a pretty good amount that day dated off it. I hung out with her. You're right. I was working as a key grip. I made it all for now. I'm out with her. You're out with my dad. You're out of the trailer, catching heat. My dad was, I was working as a key grip. Uh. She was nice.
Starting point is 00:29:09 She looked me in the eye. It's me how my day was. No, we were hanging out there because my dad was working to telephone or something like that. Yeah, they're like a booth or something. Sure. Telephone used to be huge. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:29:23 And what was the first time you were on television? The first time I was on TV The first time was a gym gaffigan show first time I have not even the new nothing the news. I don't know I don't know what I wanted man. I was on the news as a kid Yeah, but You have that big hoggy yours and the newspaper and every county in North Carolina Freak show spotted in the hills of North Carolina. The reason they call it North Carolina.
Starting point is 00:29:50 We got to change the name from Bigfoot to I don't know what. Good Lord. Yeah, I was I was part of an all-converterable baby You remind me a lot of paint chips when she was having you hey barrel lines get over here God I was for what I was part of an all boys dance troupe what who are you boys to boys? Yeah, all boys dance troupe was like a ballet class a little modern thrown in Did you have those things? What the ribbon yeah the sticks I didn't have the wrist extradity for that
Starting point is 00:30:43 What the ribbon yeah the sticks I didn't have the wrist extrety for that Man imagine that little fun imagine that hog in those little fucking spandex pants on you Dancing around I'm gonna put it on cinematics It's PG 15 Get yonder bags Want to take a picture this when you see it I'm sorry, tell me please give it to you. That's all I got. Boy, what age was this? Oh, maybe nine, maybe 10.
Starting point is 00:31:29 Ballet, you're a little too old. Could you get up on your feet on your toes? Not with those things. Oh, no, no, no. What was this all you were dancing to? You know, I honestly couldn't tell you. I can remember some of the moves though. There's a lot of box step and the crisscross
Starting point is 00:31:44 like you're a wide receiver doing that drill Where you run sideways? Oh fuck what's that called? God damn it? Switch them up as you go karaoke doing karaoke. Oh Sure, I can't remember the name don't see though. Um Okay, wow. I never I never fell in any of those classes like that. I took a lot of them, very embarrassing. None of the like, we never did- But this is before, uh, sleep away school?
Starting point is 00:32:10 Oh yeah, yeah, this is before middle school. You've lived a million lives. You were doing electives in elementary school? No, it was like after, it was like outside of school. It was a club. Yeah, yeah, it was like, it was like once a week on like, Friday nights or something. Yeah, and like a struggle wall or something, man.
Starting point is 00:32:24 It's like how girls do nights or something. Yeah, and a strip wall or something. Man. It's like how girls do gymnastics. Jesus. Yeah. And we had to commute like 45 minutes an hour. Man. 10 inches in TR is over here. That sucks, dude.
Starting point is 00:32:42 Anything on a Friday night, get better be basketball practice. Get the fuck out of you. I was brutal. We had CCD on Tuesdays and that sucked. Nothing worse than that. Puh. Nothing worse than that. You get out of school and you gotta go fucking religious. I like five. You got a woof down dinner. You're missing your shows and my programs.
Starting point is 00:33:01 Everyone's fucking fucking fucking. Get them picked up. It's already dark out. Sucks. Same book every time. Where's book love ever? I said my teachers were the worst. Oh man, I remember this guy. This guy had a package on them too though.
Starting point is 00:33:13 It was flopping on her. You always were quarter early. And they were a little too big. So you had like a big, you know, like a big bouch on them things. Man, it's like a kangaroo. It's not always fair, it is. I remember being like, this guy can't be happy And father's not always bearing it. Yikes.
Starting point is 00:33:25 I remember being like, this guy can't be happy. I just remember looking at him. His wife would fucking talk shit to his face. In class, in front of a bunch of fucking ten-year-olds. And we were all like, dude, have a backbone. Will you go out and get some other pussy? Ernie, you're gonna take that shit. What are you doing? She ain't even at hot!
Starting point is 00:33:43 Fucking breaking your balls. And a bunch of kids. Oh, and you were a little kid and you realized shit like that, man. I remember you like fucking stand up for yourself. Eddie, what do you do? That was the saddest part about it. Like then Jesus died on the cross. I'm like, you're dying in front of me, pal.
Starting point is 00:34:01 This sucks. You're killing me, man. What the hell? At least you gotta wave an abulbacker for a couple of days. Yeah, that was odd. And then she got pregnant when she was our teacher. And then... Wait, I don't understand.
Starting point is 00:34:19 You had two people teaching you. There was a couple. It was the first and only time that ever happened. Was it at the church? Yeah, at the school, yeah. At the, you know, at St. Beads. St. Beads. St. Beads, the venerable. That was the, that was the parish. St. Fanatics. And then I do, yeah, just like they started had the they were having a kiss. She got pregnant in the middle of the
Starting point is 00:34:46 Season or whatever the call and he's explaining that to us an miracle of life. I was like dude you Yeah, I won't do many shlates. What are we talking about buddy? It ain't yours. I hate the breaking to you cheers Those are rerun put lion. All right. Let's quit screwing around I don't know why you do this. Okay. But that's neither here nor there. We got a gosh darn family episode on our hands. When you know, you know what? I'm with the segways. The cheese man, the big man's all thumbs today. When you sign up for the Patreon, we'll ask you get your chance to,
Starting point is 00:35:15 you get your stinks rubbing off on me. You'll get your question read on the air. That's just how to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. today when you sign over to patreon will and it will ask you get your chance that you get your Stinks rubbing off on me you'll get your your question read on the air
Starting point is 00:35:29 That's just how to do a patreon gets the first crack at it because they're dirty. Yeah This one's from sky luke ten dollar homie first time long time one of the first one thousand patron there you go Thank you buddy. Yeah, who you big dog? Are you garbage if your dog bit a door to door vacuum salesman p.s. my mom felt so bad she bought three thousand of a three thousand dollar vacuum off them. Jesus yeah I don't uh those guys had it coming I didn't like that at all every once in a while I might have mentioned there would just be some bozo at the house where an electoral. Yeah, we never had that. I did like it. Throwing brick dust on your carpet. Yeah, but you got a shop?
Starting point is 00:36:08 What are you doing here? Buddy, it's called America Online. She always got them that way too. She never bought a vacuum cleaner at the... I mean, that's the stereotypical one is the door to door vacuum cleaner, so that's like, out of movie. I don't think, first of all,
Starting point is 00:36:22 my mom's probably had four vacuum cleaners my whole life Literally four I got a question for you. Please did you ever have the one that was like oh Yeah, like the tube to the to the to the the skateboard like the package. Oh, yeah Man, I'm the first time we got those we got it second hand I think it was like my answer something and I give me a look it looks like a little dog like a little car It's like a little bot. It's always like a piece of luggage. Yeah, but it's long. It's like rectangle as four wheels on it.
Starting point is 00:36:50 Mine was square. Square? Yeah, it looked like an overhead luggage package with like wheels on it and a toes ran from that to the handle. I'm saying it wasn't self-contained in the one. No, we never had that. That was... You never had the self-contained? Nah, that was big money.
Starting point is 00:37:04 I thought. I don't think so. Or maybe the other way, we had the one. No, we never had that. That would never had the self-contained. That was big money. I thought, I don't think. Or maybe the other way, we had the one that had the thing, it had a hose and then it was like a long, like it looks like a hot dog. Well, it looked like the... Patty would just stick the tube in full these mouth. Ha ha ha. Oh.
Starting point is 00:37:18 Like Kirby. Yeah. Had four wheels on it. I guess ours was a newer version of that. And it blew out the back and I would follow her around for moving. That's vacuum smells. All right. I'd follow her around.
Starting point is 00:37:29 Yeah. I put my head right behind it and take a little nap while she was doing the floor and then wake up and then follow her. And I just felt that warm air blowing on me. Probably horrible for you. You think from 1970s vacuum cleaner? That's just crushing me in the face
Starting point is 00:37:45 What's that birthday birthday to mess with the mess of the lioma? Well, I was a dog walker at a dog by the guy I've never we I'm one of our dogs ever actually bit anybody. Oh, I was so bad I needed the money so bad. I couldn't afford to lose the client And I did the guy was like what are you doing The dog got a hold of his thigh, dude. Kind of dug. A little weiner dog, they mad ex-real bastard. A little doxin?
Starting point is 00:38:12 Yeah. They can be little ones. Yeah. Any little dog don't play around. Cute is a button. I love a little, little panty doxin, little dog. Oh, not this guy. Let me tell you, his walk's got short,
Starting point is 00:38:22 and I started stealing his owner's liquor. How'd it come in? This guy's out here biting people I gotta do something to pass the time. Something to pour on the wounds. Really? Did you did the guy have to did you have to do a like a police report or whatever? I ran away pretty quickly. You ran away. That's when you scoop that dog with the little legs who's he can't keep up. Oh dude I was yanking the most. He's talking to me stop my dog. I'm sorry. This guy's going what the hell it was freaking out rightly so I would have fucking beat your ass Yeah, it was bad news damn. Yeah, I don't I would never I never had a far away. Where?
Starting point is 00:38:55 I'm gonna be pretty quick. Yeah, I would Better hope I don't find you Yeah, that's, I feelin' bad though, I don't know. I mean, I can't listen. I was just banging on the door. If someone came in and I let them give the pitch and then my dog bit them, I, oh, he also says I had to drive four hours
Starting point is 00:39:16 the next day to return it. I do have to say that. The dog? No, the vacuum. So I guess you just bought it off the guy in the moment. The mom just said, okay. And then it's like next day your wife. The dad got home and was like, what are you out of your mind? it off the guy in the moment the mom just hit okay and then like next day your dad got home was like what do you have your mind probably just felt bad in the moment you just fucked the guy uh yeah we never had any door to the salesman and or dog never
Starting point is 00:39:35 been anybody which was good fact the dog get into a tussle before with another dog my old dog Mike the German Shepherd. It's when he was, it was an outdoor indoor dog. This was the early 80s. It was a rough. He was in a dog house on a huge chain. And he would bark every night, anything that would come anywhere near the place.
Starting point is 00:39:56 And some, you know, in the winter, he would sleep inside and all that stuff. But he got into it with the husky next door. Pull. Sounds like a nice neighborhood. It was like Rocky III. These two were going to add it. Yeah,ky next door. Pull. Sounds like a nice neighborhood. It's just like Rocky III. These two were going to add it. Yeah, they're under the L.
Starting point is 00:40:09 Nuts. A Husky and a German shepherd. Woo! They were swinging. Free or freaking out? Wait, the dogs were boxing? I want a good clean fight. Correct.
Starting point is 00:40:21 Right. Here in the dragon, to just come out. It's all the craze. Nah, they were going to add it, man. Can you everybody freaking out? Also, as a note from, we talked about in the chat episode, that guy, the big guy who fights the two. Yeah, I saw that message.
Starting point is 00:40:40 He runs, he runs the, like, it's called, like, fight circus or something. He's like the head of the promotion. Mm-hmm. Which is pretty bad as he's put himself in the fucking head. Gorgeous whale and all that. Yeah, that's all right. Shout out to us, baby.
Starting point is 00:40:51 Can't but talk about Helix. Hey, Helix. You guys sick of tossing and turning it in tonight because you're sleeping on some crappy mattress, some crappy mattress store. Go over to Helix, take the quids. They'll find out exactly how you like to sleep and they'll give you a mattress that complies to all those specifications. Whether you sleep hot, you sleep cold, whether you sleep fat, whether you sleep light, whatever it is. They got your cover, it's the best mattress
Starting point is 00:41:12 in the world, baby. We both got one. Mm-hmm. Just take the quick quiz on the website to get matched with the perfect mattress. I'm a twilight man myself. Yeah, you even got a hundred nights free trial to try it out. If you don't love it, just send it back and get a refund. No questions. That's nothing to lose. That's good to be able to heal. It's your good people. They got a mattress for big and tall sleepers like the big man. See? I'm at just for kids options for stomach sleep, besides sleepers, back sleepers. No matter how you like to catch those Zs, he looks as you cover. That's a nice guy. That's pretty good. He looks is offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for garbage listeners.
Starting point is 00:41:47 Go to helixleap.com slash garbage and use the code helix partner 20. That's helixleap.com slash garbage code helix partner 20. This is their best offer yet and it won't last long with helix better sleep starts now. So do it. Yeah, baby. Good, kill, good, kill.
Starting point is 00:42:03 I don't know if I mentioned this to you before but my dad We were at some type of state fair and they were doing Like a demonstration for like hood cleaner or whatever it's called like some type of waxing and my dad under his breath Was like on a shit doesn't work. Oh, and the guy heard of you told me. Yeah, what was that Baldi? Hey, bought like fucking four boxes of it. Mm-hmm. Sat in my garage for like 25 years. Yeah, that was a thing when I worked,
Starting point is 00:42:29 I used to work those home show and trade shows selling home improvements and man, but like the guys with the non-stick pans and they would come and they are like, they are salesmen, who they're showmen, they get, they draw a crowd, they get you going, they get the employees from the other booths walk I'm sitting there looking be like maybe I do need a nonstick band. That's how those guys making up to Billy Mace
Starting point is 00:42:49 Of course. Yeah, yeah, that's like road comics. They're like yeah Really hone your skills. Uh-huh. I remember I saw one guy. This guy was a comic I was at the we were at the Atlantic City boat show nice. I was selling home improvements. It was a blizzard No one think ten people showed up. We ended up getting a refund. Nobody showed up. But the water skiing squirrel was there, which blew my mind. Oh, apparently there's more than one. That's your celebrity. I didn't say why didn't get to spend time with them, but I did see them from afar. Called you backstage. But this comic, I had just started comedy and the guy across from me was just selling a bunch of stuff. So we just started, there was no like, hey, I'm like, we were selling home improvements. Other guys were selling cleaning products. This guy just had like a couple of books, a little bit of this, a little bit of that.
Starting point is 00:43:34 And we started talking, here he was a comic. I guess like left over from the 80s or, you know, early 90s or whatever. And that's what he would do. He was just selling random stuff. Yeah. At a boat show? How do you get a booth? Doesn't have to be connected to a boat? No. You could just sell any vendor can come, essentially, yeah. So you could go to the car show and... A car show is a little different because that's not vendors there.
Starting point is 00:44:00 A car show is just displaying cars. Okay. I've just imagined the water skiing squirrel at some hotel bar. Drinking alone, chat, some... So, ladies. You know, I'm the main one. They're all based off me.
Starting point is 00:44:11 That's my third one this week. I need an avalous last week. I'm a Columbus tomorrow. You ladies have ever been to Columbus? Top it all off. I dug a bit of vacuum sales video yesterday. Got the wife Like breaking my little stones
Starting point is 00:44:34 But he was like I'm a comedian. I had just started comedy and I was like man If I ever end up selling shit at a bus you were a comedian too. I did I had to I was networking I was trying to get the name of the guy. He got the booth off of. I did. I just started doing open mics. I'm like, yeah, I started doing open mics and fill these. I don't know how long I waited till I said that. I'm a comedian. You probably said it before you did it.
Starting point is 00:44:53 Yeah, fuck it. You probably said it in the 70s. Now with that, I was always real the other way. I always thought we all were. I would say do comedy. I said I do. Yeah, I was always I do comedy. Yeah said I do, yeah. It was always I do comedy. Yeah, I would never say I'm a comedian.
Starting point is 00:45:06 Mm-hmm. I still don't know. I'll get the check. Ha ha ha ha ha. You guys said is that all one checker? Ha ha ha ha ha. Ah, it's so cute. Ah ha ha ha.
Starting point is 00:45:17 Uh, yeah, I think I did. Do comedy's good. I think I did early. Cause I didn't know. And I was like, yeah, I'm a comedian after I did it like twice. And then it will caught up to him and I'm like, oh, I'm not. Now, I'm like, once I saw people do it like actually comedian or like, you know, working to be comedian, not even comedians just working to be a comedian. I was like, I'm not that
Starting point is 00:45:39 guy. You're not that guy. Oh, man. I didn't know you could do that. You could just show up to a trade show and just sell, it's like a yard sale. It's not a yard sale. He had products. What products?
Starting point is 00:45:52 You said he had books and stuff. Yeah, he had his joke books. What I think I bought, or I think he gave me one, so he's joke books. He had like a self-published book of jokes with some of the stuff he was selling. He probably had like some cleaners and you have to,
Starting point is 00:46:06 I'm assuming, I don't know, but I'm assuming you have to do something you're adding value to the fucking. To the boat. To the show. You're not just like selling your used roller blades or whatever. You're actually fucking, you're like,
Starting point is 00:46:17 yeah, I sell a bunch of cleaning products. You trouble getting around the yacht. Here you go. Man, that was the worst fuck I didn't share that toilet brushes and Tupperware lids That's kind of what yeah It's Rocky on a boat velcro couple records I didn't share a room with a kid yeah for? For like five days, we got snowed in. I'll end up sitting.
Starting point is 00:46:46 He had to share a room with him. And man, I would just, we would sit there. And I, he would film me or record me snoring. Because I was snoring. It's so loud. And I remember being like, dude, I'm sorry. And he was sober. And I would just sit there and get blind drunk by myself.
Starting point is 00:47:03 Because they canceled it. But we couldn't leave because the snow was so bad. Were we gonna casino? Yeah. Why don't you go play the tables? I didn't have any money. What do you even told me? I was just, what do you know?
Starting point is 00:47:12 I was selling home improvements in a boat show. I didn't have any fucking cash. What are you talking about? I got a free book from selling home improvements in a boat show. Yeah. Yeah, I was That's like an old that's a good old street joke Sellin I was selling roofs in a boat show that's what I was doing. I was selling eighty thousand dollar metal roofs
Starting point is 00:47:38 And you were just in the hotel room at what this kid nice kid. You know it was I don't think it's open It might have been like Bailey's or Caesar's or something. I don't think it's open might have been like Bailey's or Caesar's or something I don't think it's open anymore and I would go down every like hour We were just sitting back because there's like couch's you were just like each sitting in our bed You can't go outside because the weather was so bad So I would just go down like every hour on the hour and crank like two heaters sitting at a fucking slot machine I remember the one time I got yelled at for not playing this. They were like, you gotta play if you're sitting here. I just need a heater.
Starting point is 00:48:07 Sitting in sweatpants and a dirty t-shirt, catching heaters. Selling TXL or whatever that stuff was. It's brutal. What was that stuff called? Limestone TXL or TXL? C-L-R. C-L-R.
Starting point is 00:48:18 Ploring or calcium lime and rust has to be the R. That'll get you in trouble. Stuff to be the R. See, I'll write off. That lime stuff will get you in the trouble. The stuff that cleans the lime off of stuff. You know what I'm talking about? No. What do you think I'm cleaning lime off of? It's a kitchen, it's like a different kitchen spray. They use it to like clean like the grills or something.
Starting point is 00:48:39 I don't know, but I sprayed it one time, thinking it was something else, and I almost killed like 40 people in the kitchen. Yeah. Cause it was right in front of the fan and like all of a sudden prep cooks are falling out. You're making mustard gas in the sand. What the fuck are you doing? My cousin Sean, who's a listener shout out to you.
Starting point is 00:48:58 He had a, he was working a summer job and down the shore in the kitchen. And he was like, they told him like, clean up. And he did a moneon bleach in the in the like in the small back kitchen man, they had a clear out the whole restaurant everybody had to fall out Talked about jammed up. I don't think he was I don't think he was asked back the next summer All right, let's see here this one's from Calvin 10 dollar homie first time long time is it garbage you for dad pulls a knife on your brother Door in a pool a free pool night at the bowling alley. There was nothing classy about that statement No dad pulls a knife on your brother free pool at a bowling alley Yikes dude that ain't good bad news. I wonder what he's like. I wonder if you sit at home waiting for an answer
Starting point is 00:49:41 Maybe let's send this to the pros and see what they really say about it. Yeah, that's fucking, I mean also playing that much pool with your parents. That's like a buddy's thing. Yeah, you should have be shooting pool with your parents. The only thing that I wear it ends in a fucking fist fight. I don't think I ever played with my dad was catch a board game or basketball or football. Something like that pool. Whatever shot pool with my dad. Yeah, that's nuts.
Starting point is 00:50:10 That's like fucking that's like cosplay. Yeah, stick. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I mean, we did a lot of knee football, his kids. Sure. Yeah, love it. And there was always a thing where we need football
Starting point is 00:50:23 on a fresh carpet. Whoo. It is put down turf. Dude, it was like this with every house. Yeah, and there was always a thing where we they football on a fresh carpet Put down turf did it was like this with every house my dad my dad was big on running houses Once he started making some money they were divorced he didn't buy so we ran a house and obviously not have he would furnish the living room Like the family room, but then the dining room or what so there was just like always a wide open living room and a wide open dining room. That's nice. I was like that goddamn Super Bowl. Yeah, that's all right. And you you would hit him with something you know you'd hurt him a little bit. Next play he was fucking out for blood. No bow. Fucking hang you fucking hang you out the dry across the middle. Oh the reps are really letting go of this game. Let them play the middle age man seems angry. All right, let's see.
Starting point is 00:51:10 This one's from I'm tap that's something. I don't know. I can't pronounce it. Uh, $10 doofus never had one red. Are you garbage? If you've ever played the slot machines at a gas station, these are popping up more and more specifically in Pennsylvania too.
Starting point is 00:51:26 I don't know. It's like proper slots. Proper slots are like now in 7-11s and stuff. That is so. Gas station, 7-11. What are you thinking? How do you think that's gonna bring in good clientele? Well here, hear me out, right?
Starting point is 00:51:40 Cause we were, I was, and if I was the guy holding off, I was the guy working behind the counter. I don't want that. What, I'm a bartender now. I got to entertain I got to deal with that I got to deal with these guys Yeah, yeah listen. I yes as the employee that probably sucks as the end user Because I was down there and I was talking to my buddy Pat We were talking about going to the casino parks casino. Maybe look for a little action
Starting point is 00:52:04 No, no, no,ino, maybe look for a little action. No, no, no, no, no, the sicko. And he goes, you know what would be a good time. The 7-11 off route one has slot machines. And if you think about it, you got everything you need there. Sure. You can get beers, snacks, snacks, heaters. You can pop outside smoke a heater
Starting point is 00:52:25 You don't have to wait for the waitress to come around with a drink as you come back Is he not coming back those rollers are hot chilly dogs day it long as the day is long that's an adirt bag mentality That's got everything you need how many how many slots are we talking? I don't know I've seen it for the boys I don't want to be taking turns yeah the one I the only one I've seen there was two. Are they paying out there? Yeah, because I went to a bar and fucking, when I was home for business. So doesn't that mean that they have to have a minimum of cash on hand?
Starting point is 00:52:53 Yeah, they went up, my buddy, Vinny with the skinny hit for like eight hunch on one of those machines. Okay. And they paid them out right there, cash. See, that's given away how much money is at the place, too. I mean, it's a bar. A bar's got 800 bucks on them. No think even 7-11. No, well 7-11's got cash 7-11's got more than 800 dollars cash on them. It's in a safe. I'm saying if you say if you start advertising that You got slot machines and one of the slots machines like a million dollar thing that means they got a million dollars
Starting point is 00:53:20 I get got to go to this to 7-11 Clark isn't paying you out of million dollars dude You got to go to the state the state office go back into the office You want that in small bills or tequitos? He opens up some shit paid You got a big check. Yeah, no that's like I think it's like petty payouts They like if you hit the scratchers or whatever sure I got a couple of geezer. I think everybody knows yeah Yeah, you know what I never understood even to this day, sometimes you go to a smaller place or whatever,
Starting point is 00:53:47 and you ask for, yes, for, you give them a 20, and all they don't, it's not in a casual, it's just like a box or something, and like a non-locked. Do you ever see that? Say it again? It's in a cigar box or a shoe box is where they keep the cash. Like a mom and pop shop of some sure.
Starting point is 00:54:05 And I'm like, what do you, you're at least get a cash register for that. That's like, bodegas do that shit all the time. Just like, you don't know what's under there. Right. bodegas are like, here's a sig, here's a gun, here's 10 grain cat. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:17 That's what you got nickel under there though. Yeah, you want to assume, right? Come on. Are you crazy? Or want to have little bats? Yeah, I don't think they got the nickel. I think a lot of them do. I think there'd be more shootings. You think? There's a good amount. Not of bodega owners on the clients. I lately have been popping
Starting point is 00:54:36 off. Yeah, shit's fucking whack. It's over to him. Yeah. You can always get the temperature of, of, uh, you know, politics by talking to a, a bodega owner too. Cool. They give you the real feel on the neighborhood. You know, you mentioned things that you don't understand. We can, we can cut this if you want, but I had a couple of terms that I don't know what they are. I wanted to see if you guys knew what they were. Okay. Things you don't understand. It just made me think that I had a couple of things. I'm, I'm, I'm interested in things. I don't know.. Alright, zero sum game. What does that mean? What does it mean or where what did where does the saying come from? What does it mean? Both? No.
Starting point is 00:55:11 Well zero sum game means no one way it's a if I lose 10 buy and I'm using money if I lose 10 bucks there's no winner or loser the outcome is the say everybody stays the same it's a zero or loser. The outcome is the same. Everybody stays the same. It's a zero sum game. Toby? That right? Zero sum game is a mathematical representation in game theory and economic theory of a situation that involves two sides where the result is an advantage for one side and an equivalent loss for the other.
Starting point is 00:55:40 That doesn't make any sense. Sure don't. Zero sum game. Yeah, so if you lose $ dollars and I win ten dollars from you That's a zero some game because the total number of that doesn't that's not how I use the wind ten bucks So you use in zero ten minus ten zero some game is a mathematical representation if the total Participants are added up and the total losses are subtracted. They will sum to zero Yeah, so if you win ten and I lose 10, that's a zero sum game. Plus 10.
Starting point is 00:56:09 But you won 10. How is it a zero sum game? Because you're talking about me, this is talking about the whole game. The whole game is minus 10 and plus 10 is zero. Oh, okay. Zero change. The game doesn't win anything. What? How's always Lamp's baby? What about quid pro quo? Yeah, that's Latin, right? Yeah, quid pro quo is a that's quid pro like standard operating norms in my head. Toby
Starting point is 00:56:39 quid pro quo. A favor or advantage granted or accepted in return for something. Oh, that's right. That's what they were trying That's what they get politicians on was it quit pro quo. Did you give them the contract in hopes for the kickback scratch my back I'll scratch yours. That's a good one Everybody knows that. That's a zero sum game right there and the last one was the Gold and I thought last one was the golden rule. What is the golden rule? Do on tellers they do it. Yeah, that's biblical. Be nice. Really it. Yeah, don't be a dickhead. I don't know. They'll use it. Google it. Something. You know what? I didn't know I didn't know about that. I feel it's all over the golden hour is like the sunset. Golden shower. The golden hour. Yeah, I think that's when you have dimension
Starting point is 00:57:27 No, that's the sundown Golden hour. Yeah, that's the like do you see it? Happy hour eight minutes five o'clock somewhere Golden hour is right before the sun sets. Yeah, I know that it's when you get the best light It's like to glow the golden hour. Huh, there's that I had no idea. It's when you get the best light. It's like the glow, the golden hour. There's that, I had no idea. And I feel everybody's been saying it. It's right as the sun goes below the horizon, you get the cleanest light possible.
Starting point is 00:57:51 It's when they do a lot of filming during that time. Wait, really? Oh yeah, I thought you'd want the sun pointing down at you. Well, you know. Huh. Hollywood types. Yeah. Who's the most famous person you've ever met?
Starting point is 00:58:04 Been in the company of? Yeah. Where's the most famous person you ever met? Been in the company of yeah, there's a couple who Is because my aunt but he was the mayor at the time of Philadelphia Ed Rendell sure? I waited on him went sledding at his house really I don't mean he'll want to kick her at the bottom. I waited on him about 15 years ago. Yeah, nice guy. Yeah 15 years ago. Yeah. Nice guy. Yeah. Nice guy. I was agree with you. Yeah. He would come. He was like a bit like if he was a temper, I'll tell you that. My my ant worked very close to with him. And if he was he would come to like big events for the family for like my grant. Like a game to like my grandparents like 50th anniversary. Nice stuff like that. Pulse of strings to get them
Starting point is 00:58:40 at the cathedral in the have this have the mass there hit a steady with him was pretty cool. Yeah, I would always love talking to that guy. I would come in and I'd be like, it was kind of peace. You were talking to the muscle. Yeah, the best. That was cool. The driver. I mean, I only met him a hand. Maybe those guys can wear a sport coat. Oh, yeah, they fill that thing out. Tired state troopers at Oregon security. Man, I think they're, I know those are actual active state troopers. Oh, yeah, that's right. Oh, no, you get that for life with your governor. No, I know I'm not know him.
Starting point is 00:59:11 I, he was after he was the governor. And he had a dude with him. Oh, yeah, that's right. You might get that for life. That state. Yeah, yeah. That's a, that's a troopers on that detail. Sweet dude.
Starting point is 00:59:20 Goons for life. Come on. Goons for life is awesome. That's, that doesn't get any better than that Uh-huh and ex-president you just got the secret servers with you rolling around That's got to be a bum detail though sometimes you got to really like to do it I guess unless you're with George W. Then you're just fucking slugging whiskey smokers the guards hang it Yeah, fucking get Jimmy Carter or something fuck
Starting point is 00:59:43 I got Ross Perot. Fuck. George, you're watching college football day. He's painting. Yeah, that's a good time. Shootin' the top off beer cans. Yeah, that's all right. Hoppin' to that helicopter is pretty sweet.
Starting point is 00:59:59 What? You know, when you got to get the salute when you hoppin' to the Marine one. Oh, yeah, you think that's cool. What the yeah, of course it is Hopping into the world's coolest helicopter with Marines. You think that's cool. Do you? Yeah, wait that's your famous guy that him in movies He's not an athlete. He's a politician Your late Charles Barkley no the lady you spent time with was an 80 year old CBS affiliate. Whatever. She was a local celebrity.
Starting point is 01:00:32 He was the mayor of Philadelphia. And world, not world famous, locally famous comedian. Still good family friend, Joe Conquan, man of 10,000 voices. He would show up and we make them do the characters and now looking back. Man, how much that had to suck. I got a couple of uncles that you can't mention Joe Conklin. I play a Joe Conklin down at the end. He play a Joe Conklin tells it. Pac-Man.
Starting point is 01:01:00 Man of 10,000 voices. Yeah. He was big on a 610 WIP, which was the sports talk, Philly sports talk, Angel Ocataldi. Did you know any local DJs when you were younger? They were me to Geter. My mom, they all know I threw him through Conklin. The Geter, we were here.
Starting point is 01:01:17 We're pretty well connected in Philadelphia. We knew the X-Maker. If you need a YXP calendar. We got you covered. More of an MMR, man. Um, never met the Geater. I met him at John DeBella. Never met John DeBella. You did.
Starting point is 01:01:34 I think so. Yeah, I came to our school for some reason. We know Bob Kelly. I don't want to brag. You know Bob Kelly, I think that's his name. No, it's just trying to. He does like the broadcast an hour every every week down the shore at a seaport pier. No, I was just trying to. He does like the, he broadcasts an hour every week down the shore at a seaport pier.
Starting point is 01:01:48 Oh, we were there. Yeah. Yeah. We know Bobby comes over, he says, I didn't know. Ah. I don't know, but you know, showbiz, the showbiz, we give each other a nod.
Starting point is 01:01:58 That's pretty good. Yeah, my family knows all of those local Philly, local Philly, Gator with the heater, couple of mommers, couple of mommers. Yeah, that kind of thing. Get your concert tickets, get you out of parking tickets. We're like, we're really, we're really well engaged in that realm, other than that.
Starting point is 01:02:21 I was on the, I was on TV for the one time I was in the Thanksgiving day parade. That was it. And my mom might have been lying just to make me feel good. I muddened not made the cut, but she said she saw me. No, what I was going to say is that day when they were picking kids for double dare season one, this was huge. I had a lady walked right by me, looked at me and just kept moving Did you say you find a canine your pocket? Hey, but thanks for coming out snacks are in the back I wanted to be on it so bad. I don't know what it was. I just knew it was a casting call
Starting point is 01:03:00 You're on a couch. I don't Get a rabbit Gang we love you to death. Uh-huh, and we'll see you next week. Peace We're gonna wrap it up. Gang, we love you to death. Uh-huh. And we'll see you next week. Peace.

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