Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Trashy Teachers w/ Kippy & Foley
Episode Date: January 11, 2024Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live ...show! NYC Town Hall Live Show: https://areyougarbage.com/pages/live-shows NEW AYG Card Game: https://areyougarbage.com/products/are-you-garbage-card-game Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Butcher Box: https://www.ButcherBox.com/AYG Promo Code: AYG Helix Sleep: https://www.helixsleep.com/Garbage Promo Code: Helixpartner20 Support the show by downloading the DraftKings Sportsbook App and using the code AYG. If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/LA/MI/NJ/PA/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/NH), 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), visit OPGR.org (OR), call/text TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA).  21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/LA(select parishes)/MI/NH/NJ/ NY/OR/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. New customer offer void in NH/OR/ONT-CA. $200 in Free bets: New customers only. Valid 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min $5 wager. $200 issued as eight (8) $25 free bets. Ends 9/19/22 @ 8pm. Early Win: 1 Early Win Token issued per eligible game. Opt in req. Token expires at start of eligible game. Min moneyline bet $1. Wagering limits apply. Wagers placed on both sides of moneyline will void bet. Ends 1/8/23 @ 8pm ET. See terms at sportsbook dot draftkings dot com slash football terms. Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?
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New York City, New York.
The boys are coming to the great white way.
I'm Broadway at the town hall theater.
May 9th, stand up comedy.
Kippy and I co-edline.
Then we played a little AYG with the crowd.
It's the biggest show we've ever done.
We want to sell it out, come out and see us.
Yeah, get your tickets at rUgarbage.com
where the RU Garbage Card Game is available right now.
For sale, it's over 50 of our favorite questions
from the show.
Something you have heard.
Something you haven't heard. It's a good time to get a play with your friends.
Find out who's trash.
Yeah.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Gobbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians
are classy individuals or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and age foley
Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is our you garbage
Oh, yeah, so I lose show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that I think we're to be clear
See just a big old piece of trash
I'm your host takes fully coming at you out on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tuddy's in the new
Edition she is upstairs getting dinner ready. Okay
My co-host is coming at you from across the table. He loves a misdirected guy
She's a working gal, you know, he's the CEO of our you garbage international business man
And don't forget he's gonna be having a big keger this weekend when his parents are away
Give it up for young Kevin James Ryan everybody. What's up fellow kids?
How you doing?
First of all, please make sure you rate,
review, subscribe on iTunes, which by the way,
I think that's a thing again.
Get back and start dropping in reviews.
We appreciate the love.
Yeah.
And obviously full video available on YouTube
as you know those numbers are.
Shruder off cooking.
Cooking.
And obviously the greatest website of all time
you go over there, www.patreon.com,
slash RU garbage, you sign up,
you get over a bajillion hours of bonus content, baby.
It's fantastic over there.
And we just had, I gotta say, maybe in all time,
one of the best, all time, EPSA hard feelings,
talk about taking a left down the fully filled baby.
I've got more messages.
Nice down there this time of year.
I've got more messages about this episode
than I think anything ever.
And do you sell the favor, get over to that
rUgarbage.com, pick it yourself
the brand new second edition of the RU Garbage Card Game
and pick up some ticks for May 9th
that come see the boys at the town, all theater.
In New York City, it's the biggest show
we've ever done and we wanna see is all there.
And how about a nice quick shout out to our producer,
extra to an airy old magic man makes us all look good,
works the ones the twos, the threes and the fours,
he crosses the tees and he dots the eyes.
And it's a word in the words of that hillbilly doctor
that gave birth to him.
Holy boy, that thing is huge.
Should name that boy Willie.
He's like, Scrap it.
Help me, Big Mully.
What up, dude?
That's working enough for like four hours.
Oh, that was great, dude.
This is a day, huh?
Yeah, I couldn't get it. I look like sweet Lord
Sousin I think
Yo, this looks like I'm looking at detention
Like keep me just caught with a paintball gun and his locker and pull these having to sit him down again
But talking kind of what are you a transit copy?
It's laundry day and I ran out of product.
I'm dying over here.
You've been doing the backwards hat a lot.
Yeah, I do it.
It's nice.
It's a switch up, man.
I'm trying to retap into my fucking,
my young school roots, you know what I mean?
I was thinking about T-bone today.
They all had to know when you were growing up, right?
Like your mom and dad were like changing and stuff like that's big is it I don't know mine's never gotten big
But I don't think it's big it's gotta get turned on at a certain age. Can I let you in on the pure psychosis?
Change of the diapers fallen out and stuff
It's hanging out this side of the diaper
Dancing I don't know want the big deal is
It's all proportionate
My mom's handed me the bills and shit
It's in the head of the tables and you were 13th
So here's the there's the skinny boys. Here's the thick. You know, you're skinny about that.
So as you know, I went to a boarding school.
You're true.
Get in here.
Look at this thing.
That's episodes flagged for sure.
I went to boarding school, as you know.
Uh-huh.
So around 14.
Getting it to Rooms.
How to check that thing.
Keep that in a closet.
So around 14, I'm sitting there,
you know, there's hogs all around.
I wanna have a cool hog.
I do the mental math.
I've never talked about this publicly.
I did the mental math.
My body's growing, this is my only chance at it.
I started doing dick exercises.
Really?
What?
That's what happened to Tommy Lee too.
That was the myth back in the day.
He did some workin' it out?
I guess. I was sittin' the the day. He did some's working it out. I guess I was it in the gym
Really? What like like the thrusts and stuff. I tied to the back of a car
Beed up a bit up a piece of meat. So do you have three three dumbbells?
I wish I was joking, but I did I did all that's a cookie cock I exercise man
Real I was my problem. Yeah, I should have done that talk about a not an Irish. I got a real
I got a real couch potato there. I
Got a wet my guy in the shape talk about a hypothesis. You can never put to the test course. Yeah
Geez, okay, well now you know
Maybe what if I start now?
There you go. That's a possibility
Maybe with maybe with some plastic surgery. I don't know if that Peloton can work that kind of magic Maybe what if I start now? You think that's a possibility?
Maybe with some plastic surgery.
I don't know if that peloton can work that kind of magic.
Yeah, you're gonna need a plane ticket to Greece
or something dude.
Hey, I'm, hey, they did that.
Whoever's playing ball, I'm in.
Gang, as you know, we're here for a little family episode.
Just to boys, the bozos and the homies.
It's good to see you fellas.
Yeah, it's nice to see you.
Nice to see you.
I got a little thing.
I was obviously we talk about car accessories
a lot on the program.
It's been well documented.
Aftermarket.
Aftermarket things.
And one of the big things that a lot of people do,
which I always kind of like,
I think it is trashy,
but I always kind of like,
if it's done right, it looks good.
It's like, the bandana,
oh, I would never do it,
but the bandana on the headrest sometimes.
The headrest.
Yeah, you know how like there's the headrest on the seat.
Review mirror.
What?
Headrest.
Muffler.
Tailpipe.
Do you know what a headrest is?
Yeah, it's a draw.
Okay.
But didn't you bandana on that?
People do it as like a cover, like they'll like wrap it around.
Mm-hmm.
Never seen it.
Go ahead.
Or like a headrest cover, you've had a-
I've seen them pull like a mask in the dry-
In the passenger side.
Well that's what-
That's what happened.
Scared the fucking shit.
Somebody put a ski mask on theirs.
I thought the ops was all I've done
me on the New Jersey dirt bike dude.
I- It was raining and I thought,
dude, I- It was like a steam from the town.
I thought I was getting-
I thought it was-
Looks over, hey.
Dude, it was fucking-
They were- It was this minivan and they were
hanging behind me and I'm like, what the fuck? I looked in this picture to guy with an AK coming at me.
Scared the shit out. God, that guy. Yeah. Is that like a carpool lane? I think it's a it's so you
stay away from the car. You don't rob the car. But you think somebody's in there. You can't really tell
if somebody's in there. Okay. I don't know if that would work for the car pool lane. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Do they enforce that? I don't even know if they enforce that. I get pulled over. Yeah, they've been risk it. I'm a bad ass. I'll risk it.
They also switched it. I don't know what it's like in your local state or
County, but
took me a minute. Jesus Christ.
but what did it took me a minute? Jesus Christ.
It's three now.
You got three people in the car.
It used to be two.
Now you got to have three.
I knew a fuck striving around with three people.
I'll do it with me, my wife and my dog.
Three grown men in a car together.
It's the weirdest thing ever.
We do it all the time.
We've done it all over the country.
Hey, we're straight.
And we're a little creepo.
We all have masks on.
Yeah, it's the people to commute from around New York.
It's the people in Jersey who are driving in of like
meet up, grab a gaggle of people.
My sister did that every day to school.
What? What do you mean?
She worked pretty far away.
Okay.
And another person lived by her.
So they drove to work every day for like 15 years together
Yeah, they would take turns and I'm like what if it sucked? How do you get out of it? Oh, man?
I don't like it didn't I don't like talking to anybody ever. Oh, that's brutal
I used to take to train home when I worked in New Rochelle
I would take to train back down to the city the
MTA like the you know, what is it called?
the MTA Trinidad but the long-round railroad now
Metro North I would take the Metro class the operation
What no in name sure? I can't believe it. Thank you. Yeah, I put the Metro North
And leave it a grand central a grand central is a nice train station if you're trying to cop heroin
No, one part of it's nice.
There's a couple of award winning restaurants in there too.
There's a place with the oyster.
There's like an always a famous oyster bar.
Michael Jordan stay cast.
Where we always take it.
There I don't know.
Let's go to the go for the extra point.
Steve Kerr footwear.
What? He's on the team. Man, I used to get a bacon, I can cheese in the grand central.
It was, wherever I, if I was going somewhere, man, it would blow your socks off.
Good stuff.
Right, it was, there was a bagel joint right in the corner there.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
My brother took the train in all the time when he was living in Philly and working up here.
And they all knew each other. It was all everybody on Amtrak and they would all sit in like the business thing.
Sure, it's the same guys on the 815 and then.
They all knew each other.
And man, I tell you, they were real territorial about where they sat.
If they weren't sitting in like the right, they start screaming at each other.
Who are you and you can't sit there and this and that.
It's a fucking high school over here.
You guys make like 400 grand a you
Taking the goddamn train for anyway. I used to do it when I had to take SEPTA from summer 10 down down in the center city
He's I'm talking about I know what we would talking about Titans of industry
Not you on your way to finish line. I was working in bookie
You know bookie I don't know it. I was working in it. I should say um
Explains all the all the envelopes and toadies male
As trash people are looking for it's I think about on what you're doing over and that shit's in my name, dude
It's on auto pay. It should be oh
Fuck I think we canceled that card I gotta look into that
I'm bad it bills they're gonna dump trash in front of the building like in fucking subrano's fucking rat knocks on the door
Fuck I gotta look into that that's it you don't want to cross it. You don't want to cross. Oh my god
I just realized something to I got knocked for a
Late payment on something on my credit report through Through me? I would, I know.
I don't know.
Well, wasn't.
I didn't say, because when you look, if you look for it,
then they hit you again.
I don't want to run my credit report
because then they knock you again.
It should tell you.
Knock me down, like not just as one delinquent,
one mispayment.
And I got everything all straightened out as far as I know.
I'm 716 checked last night.
716.
Pretty good.
That's not bad.
Out of 5,000.
It's not bad at all.
No, yeah, I'm feeling it.
Maybe that was it.
What?
Would they knock your credit report for not paying
your fucking trash people?
No.
Great.
That's not an organization you want to get into bed with.
Bookkeeping, huh?
Skimming. Book, skimming. Bookkeeping, huh? Skimming.
Bookskimming.
But they get real, so like.
Well, hold on, so you know credits and debits and stuff like that?
Sure.
Because they always confuse me.
I mix them up from time to time.
Yeah, it's, because the debit,
you debit your account as a positive.
You credit your account, it's a negative.
Yeah, but don't they switch it up at some point?
But a debit card, you take money out. And a credit card, I don't know, it was something in high school that confused you. Yeah, deb don't they switch it up at some point, but a debit card you take money out and a credit card
I don't know it was something in high school that confused
Yeah, that's a credits
Yeah, you're tea. I think they call them like your tea box or something my lacrosse coach was the teacher
So it didn't matter but still it could have been jam up city
I hate our basketball coaches our counting coach nice. Yeah. I hated all that dumb shit that we had to learn
That didn't that's the stuff you need for light. You didn't need trigonometry. I didn't need any of it just the cooking class
I don't find yourself a kid be the home the home at classes the only time I that ninth grade science is really the only time
I learned anything and and my English literature classes that I took shot to mr. Blanche fucking best
I mr. Kelly. Yeah, that out there you guys think they're listening. I miss to Mr. Blanche. Fuckin' best. I'm Mr. Kelly.
Yeah.
That out to you guys.
I think they're listening.
Nah, I think Mr. Blanche passed away.
Okay, and there we are.
It's a record.
I fucking nine minutes in.
You bring up at that guy.
And I loved him.
It was a good teacher.
You know, you had that one good teacher that was awesome.
I don't think I had that many.
Oh, I had a couple.
I had a couple.
I had a couple that were like decent younger,
like the elementary school teachers,
like those women were great, they were fantastic.
I hated them.
Not they were great.
They hated me.
I had a couple of nuns that made me.
Oh, we did it.
Yeah, I mean, I went to public school.
They were like downright abusive.
Is one really had it in for me.
They're known for that.
Yeah, I used to fuck with her bad though. Mm-hmm.
Hate it my guts. I remember squeezing the
You know the little thing on the water fountain a little knob sure I broke it off and I had it my hand
She she was like the rock she put her hand I mean squeeze it in my hand
Bitch
It's like man hands like that wasn't a twist off
Yeah, I didn't like the I didn't like the younger people when I was younger. When I was developing as a writer and as an artist in my high school years, you what?
I had a couple of really good English tea when I started reading like the catcher in
the rye and you started getting deep really started finding yourself. You're talking about this guy like it's Robin Williams
and the dead poet society.
Meanwhile, he's driving a 1986 Volvo.
Seize the day, boys.
He's got a roommate and shit.
Nah, he was great.
He's getting a ride on with you and your mom.
Yep.
Can we drop off Mr. Beakman?
Yeah, man. That happened at the theater one time.
You really do have some rose colored glasses
when you're looking back at stuff.
Halfway through the...
The catcher of the rice sticks.
Halfway through stud, I disagreed that.
Halfway through studying at the same time.
Nine pages, you ready? Love.
I read the whole thing.
Okay.
It's one of the only books I ever read.
I read about five books.
I tell people that I read a lot more.
Quipper egg up.
Yeah, no, that's your number.
I read that, the old man in the sea, Atlas Shrugged.
Just Shrug.
Cherry.
What's that?
Cherry, Cherry International.
That's gonna say the fleshlight manual.
Cherry was a nudie mag.
Oh yeah?
Yeah.
But you don't remember this when I- when I, when I, you know, yeah, I do.
What I can tell me what I remember when I lived in New York, the first time, the magazine
stores, you should just have porn out.
Sure.
I was always like up in the top and I'm telling dude, I remember when I was hitting a little,
no, when I first got up here late 90s, it was out everywhere.
All right. Yeah, they had them in the cellophane and it would have like a it would be a good three. It was caught
I mean, it wasn't showing these seals. I'm sure you knew I wasn't a fucking sports illustrator. I could tell you that
That was big for a guy my age at that swimsuit
Edition that ends up at your house your buddy's house. your walkin with a couple of pages that shout out the patron
Them Kova found her in about seven very Elmick fearson me never did it for me athletic bodies
I'm against it. Yeah, it's tasteful too one pieces doing nice one piece I got nice one piece and then went to paint it on
Oh, yeah, I remember that year. Oh, we got real screwy. It was all downhill from there.
Where do you go from that?
Can't put those daisy duces back on.
Yeah, it's guy's, you see.
He had spray painted boobs here.
I remember coming home,
we had a long driveway over a creek
and my brother and the,
What?
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold, that says nothing about how I pictured the home
you grew up in.
A long driveway over, you were one of those families
You had water on the property long driveway circle drive would be back around
Thought you lived in a condo. Yeah, that was later on this was this was this was at the height
When I was really young, okay, and could you like playing the creek?
Feed the feed the fish and stuff it wasn wasn't that deep. Talking about an ankle-deak creek.
It sounds like a puddle.
More of a creek, if you will.
Shout out to a creek.
Would it swell up when it storms?
I don't remember as well.
I do remember coming home and seeing my brother
and the neighbor kid having trying to reassemble a playboy.
They had hidden and then it got wet.
And they were like, they were trying to reassemble it,
like the FBI outside of
Enron. Sure. I'm going to put shredded documents back together.
Doing that's one thing but doing that rock hard is man. He might as well have a gun to
the back of your head. Oh man. Those hormones were pumping.
We were from the age of where we would print them out on paper like to somebody because
you couldn't get your hands on a,
I mean, if you were 13 at that, when I was 13,
come in, what are you doing there? You had to map it out. And sometimes you hear the garage door open.
It's guys down there like Gutenberg.
A board, a board.
I'll never forget my fucking thousand page book, the Britain press is getting call over space and his hands
Do you live? Oh, that's how you had to do it. They've been frank. Let's take it easy
Well, what the fuck else I'm I never called the book of Eli over here. I'm so it's all in Braille. I didn't have
I thought it's all in Braille. I didn't have a, I didn't have a call.
I couldn't get your hands on it, I have a fake ID,
and streaming, not whatever we want to call it.
You couldn't watch videos like that
at the time on dialogue.
So it was mostly just getting your hands on pictures.
And at that time, there was still all spread out,
and then free ones was the first real site
you would go to and you could look,
and you would print them out from there.
Ooh, Chloe Jones.
They're pushing for a color printer that Christmas.
Oh yeah, I remember how you wanted an Nintendo.
No, no, no, no.
I went down with the Epson state of the art.
Three and one, I'm making copies.
I got a book report.
Leave me alone. copies. I got a book report. We feel it.
My's the printer in the bathroom.
No, a lot of people did that for
sure. I mean, we would do it. We'd
go over my buddy's house and he
had a we would print it out there
and he had all the accessories. So
we I already print out their own
thing and then head head on wayward.
Alright, so come pick me up. spitball on this on Monday boys are circle back thing we got enough done for the day
See you guys when school done we're all wearing short sleeve button downs
One sleeve roll up
That was the age because magazines were phased out and you couldn't get your hands on
them and video was VHS.
When you were a kid you had maximum you had all that stuff.
Maxim.
Yeah but yeah you could get your hands on maximum but then there's real naked they were
they were just there was real naked women on the internet you can look at but you couldn't
always get you know you could know sometimes the computer was in the family room room somebody's dead with a pop up and it's real making women online waiting to meet me
He'll take it with us
At that time I had in it was until early in my 30s
It's not getting around. Wasn't till early in my 30s.
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Gaming resources do it apply Kip but your box shut up at a box
Just a favorite of ours here at RU Garb it been for years. Tody's got her freezer stocked with meat
Talking free range. We're talking grass fed grass footage finish, wild caught. Better than a road kill you're used to eating. Man, whatever you get at the super market,
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Then pick your package, they send it over, Whatever they give you, it's top shelf stuff.
Get some nice board, get some nice check in,
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Yeah, I have exclusive member deals, recipes you can try.
They have curated custom box plans,
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Mm-hmm, and the shipping is always free.
They got an awesome bargain for AYG listeners, cause they love us and we love them. Here it is, we're known. They do. You're not going to get better meat. Mm-hmm. And the shipping is always free. They got an awesome bargain for AYG listeners
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comm slash a wide use the code a wide do it do it I hide on this may be a little
risky well we started off with you know that might get cut. Did you ever accidentally see something when you were young that you didn't want to see?
I think I know where this is going.
It's fatherhood tools.
Patty, I didn't know.
Oh god.
It's not beautiful.
I don't want to look at her.
I didn't mean like that.
That's a weird way to put it.
Okay.
Uh, no.
Like someone naked?
Yeah.
Caught a distant relative coming out of the shower.
She's about 85 at the time.
Yeah.
No, I don't think I ever, I don't think I ever caught any of that.
No.
Sliping out of the shower like a bad avocado. What about you,
cripple creek? Have you ever seen anybody washing up down at the quarry? It's guy sifting
for gold in that thing. No, everyone is southern upbringing. Everyone kept it real tight.
I think everyone put a towel on before they open the curtain. You know what I mean?
Sure, I think I was I think probably my dad in like a locker room or changing somewhere like a water park
But that's like he wasn't nobody was water park. Yeah completely naked 90s out of the region waters
I don't know I'm pulling water park in my head, but I don't think it was that maybe that gym I was talking about a couple episodes ago.
Yeah, but that's it, but like not hiding it like just you know, sure changing in a that I mean, I mean, this was a shocking moment.
Mm-hmm. I remember the first time I saw gray pubes. Yeah at the at the Newtown athletic club
Wasn't the parking lot
Hey, mr. Aberton hey, how you doing? Hey, don't miss us. Oh, howling
Yeah, I didn't know they got I didn't know they turned colors too. Wait house tour got a big lower
I didn't know what to expect.
You were tour the White House?
What?
I feel like we've been in there.
No.
As a kid, they don't do it.
I think they do tours there.
I think you would know if you've been in the White House.
If you would been in the White House,
you would, it was the only thing you would ever talk about.
No, I thought it was kind of true.
I thought we did something.
Don't they have a little part where you can walk in.
Yeah, they they have it.
We were supposed to go like, I'm pretty sure we were supposed to go like September 18th or something.
Called it off.
Okay.
Yeah, they put that on lock down.
It was that seventh grade.
Instead of said we spent the weekend at a CIA black site getting worked over.
Dude, in the first like two months of school, we were supposed go to Washington DC tour everything and New York City clamped it down
man
I know
Talk about a bad year tour the American Airlines flint
But the guy bushing on all that yikes. Yeah, I'm pretty sure we did that. You went to City Hall in Bluebell and they lied to your fed as.
Yeah, you do.
If you were in the White House, first of all, you'd be throwing that in everyone's face.
I think we were.
You'd be sitting here with a fucking red tie.
I know we'd all-
I didn't go for some reason.
Senator.
Congressman, how are you?
A little American flag, but I know you're supposed to go to the Easter egg hunt on the lawn.
What lawn on the great lawn, whatever it's called, the South 40, whatever they got down
there.
Didn't pass a security check.
I don't know what it is.
What's it called?
The Southern lawn.
I don't know.
They told him that he wasn't camera ready.
Where the hell is this?
Hey, listen, you got to lose 15 kid.
Get the news is here.
Come on. Yeah, chocolate on your face already. Did that to me on double there? Where the hell is he? Hey, listen, he got a lose 15 kid. Get the news is here.
Come on.
Chocolat on your face already.
Did that to me on double there?
I know that's why they didn't cast me on double there.
Put a fidget tube.
I got stuck in the mouth.
Who is the most famous person you met up until 18?
Up until 18?
We're like, if somebody like Gundier had, who's the most famous person?
I saw Michael Spinks at the Philadelphia airport.
We were picking somebody up.
No, you met.
You had some sort of interaction.
I said, we said, what's up?
My mom let us go over and say, what's up to him.
Okay.
He was a big fighter, big boxer.
Sure.
When I was probably 13 or 14, I think I've told you guys this,
I caddied at Filmont Country Club in Philly
for their celebrity golf tournament. Uh-huh.
Chris Carter was in our group, but I didn't, we didn't carry his bags.
This is what me and my cousin got into the fight in front of him.
Sure.
And he had to break it up.
But I met Charles Barkley.
Okay.
Keith Buyers was there.
Who is, who is the person you've spent, you were in their company, not just like,
hey, what's out like I
Dinner with Jack Nicholson
I'm asking you hanging out with that's what no on nobody. I'm asking what is your printed porn?
What's the highest?
I'm not I don't think there and any Jillika Houston
Nothing on that obvious. I don't think they're famous, but somebody who and they probably owned like you used them, eh? Nothing on that. Obviously, I don't think they're famous,
but somebody who, they probably owned like a used car lot or something.
He slapped box, Billy Bob Poole.
You see what I'm saying?
Like, who is like, holy shit,
so and so is going to be there.
Well, I've told you this.
I've told you this recently,
my dad's, where my dad was stationed in Wokesbury in Avoca,
was right next to the ABC affiliate.
Okay.
Channel negative three.
It was only three, six, and ten back.
These guys were like movie stars.
Yeah, three, six, and ten was big in our area.
And they had this big kid show that was on there
in the morning called Miss Judy. Or no, Hatchie Malatchie was big in our area. And they had they had this big kid show that was on there in the morning called
Miss Judy or no, Hachi Malachi was the name of it.
Oh, yeah, I think you mentioned.
Yeah, yeah, and I love that.
I thought she was awesome.
Right.
You thought she was hot.
Yeah.
And then we looked her up.
Hey, she was about 80 years old.
Um, I hung out with her a pretty good amount that day dated off it.
I hung out with her.
You're right.
I was working as a key grip. I made it all for now. I'm out with her. You're out with my dad. You're out of the trailer, catching heat.
My dad was, I was working as a key grip.
Uh.
She was nice.
She looked me in the eye.
It's me how my day was.
No, we were hanging out there because my dad was working
to telephone or something like that.
Yeah, they're like a booth or something.
Sure.
Telephone used to be huge.
Uh-huh.
And what was the first time you were on television?
The first time I was on TV
The first time was a gym gaffigan show first time I have not even the new nothing the news. I don't know
I don't know what I wanted man. I was on the news as a kid
Yeah, but
You have that big hoggy yours and the newspaper and every county in North Carolina
Freak show spotted in the hills of North Carolina.
The reason they call it North Carolina.
We got to change the name from Bigfoot to I don't know what.
Good Lord.
Yeah, I was I was part of an all-converterable baby
You remind me a lot of paint chips when she was having you hey barrel lines get over here
God I was for what I was part of an all boys dance troupe what who are you boys to boys?
Yeah, all boys dance troupe was like a ballet class a little modern thrown in
Did you have those things?
What the ribbon yeah the sticks I didn't have the wrist extradity for that
What the ribbon yeah the sticks I didn't have the wrist extrety for that
Man imagine that little fun imagine that hog in those little fucking spandex pants on you
Dancing around I'm gonna put it on cinematics
It's PG 15
Get yonder bags Want to take a picture this when you see it I'm sorry, tell me please give it to you.
That's all I got.
Boy, what age was this?
Oh, maybe nine, maybe 10.
Ballet, you're a little too old.
Could you get up on your feet on your toes?
Not with those things.
Oh, no, no, no.
What was this all you were dancing to?
You know, I honestly couldn't tell you.
I can remember some of the moves though.
There's a lot of box step and the crisscross
like you're a wide receiver doing that drill
Where you run sideways? Oh fuck what's that called? God damn it?
Switch them up as you go
karaoke doing karaoke. Oh
Sure, I can't remember the name don't see though. Um
Okay, wow. I never I never fell in any of those classes like that. I took a lot of them, very embarrassing.
None of the like, we never did-
But this is before, uh, sleep away school?
Oh yeah, yeah, this is before middle school.
You've lived a million lives.
You were doing electives in elementary school?
No, it was like after, it was like outside of school.
It was a club.
Yeah, yeah, it was like, it was like once a week on like,
Friday nights or something.
Yeah, and like a struggle wall or something, man.
It's like how girls do nights or something. Yeah, and a strip wall or something. Man.
It's like how girls do gymnastics.
Jesus.
Yeah.
And we had to commute like 45 minutes an hour.
Man.
10 inches in TR is over here.
That sucks, dude.
Anything on a Friday night, get better
be basketball practice. Get the fuck out of you.
I was brutal. We had CCD on Tuesdays and that sucked.
Nothing worse than that.
Puh.
Nothing worse than that. You get out of school and you gotta go fucking religious.
I like five.
You got a woof down dinner. You're missing your shows and my programs.
Everyone's fucking fucking fucking.
Get them picked up. It's already dark out.
Sucks.
Same book every time.
Where's book love ever?
I said my teachers were the worst.
Oh man, I remember this guy.
This guy had a package on them too though.
It was flopping on her.
You always were quarter early.
And they were a little too big.
So you had like a big, you know,
like a big bouch on them things.
Man, it's like a kangaroo.
It's not always fair, it is.
I remember being like, this guy can't be happy And father's not always bearing it. Yikes.
I remember being like, this guy can't be happy.
I just remember looking at him.
His wife would fucking talk shit to his face.
In class, in front of a bunch of fucking ten-year-olds.
And we were all like, dude, have a backbone.
Will you go out and get some other pussy?
Ernie, you're gonna take that shit.
What are you doing? She ain't even at hot!
Fucking breaking your balls.
And a bunch of kids.
Oh, and you were a little kid and you realized shit like that, man.
I remember you like fucking stand up for yourself.
Eddie, what do you do?
That was the saddest part about it.
Like then Jesus died on the cross.
I'm like, you're dying in front of me, pal.
This sucks.
You're killing me, man.
What the hell?
At least you gotta wave an abulbacker for a couple of days.
Yeah, that was odd.
And then she got pregnant when she was our teacher.
And then...
Wait, I don't understand.
You had two people teaching you.
There was a couple.
It was the first and only time that ever happened.
Was it at the church?
Yeah, at the school, yeah. At the, you know, at St. Beads.
St. Beads. St. Beads, the venerable. That was the, that was the parish.
St. Fanatics.
And then I do, yeah, just like they started had the they were having a kiss. She got pregnant in the middle of the
Season or whatever the call and he's explaining that to us an miracle of life. I was like dude you
Yeah, I won't do many shlates. What are we talking about buddy? It ain't yours. I hate the breaking to you cheers
Those are rerun put lion. All right. Let's quit screwing around
I don't know why you do this. Okay. But that's neither here nor there. We got a gosh darn family episode on our hands.
When you know, you know what?
I'm with the segways.
The cheese man, the big man's all thumbs today.
When you sign up for the Patreon, we'll ask you get your chance to,
you get your stinks rubbing off on me.
You'll get your question read on the air.
That's just how to do it.
I'm going to do it.
I'm going to do it.
I'm going to do it.
I'm going to do it.
I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. today when you sign over to patreon will and it will ask you get your chance that you get your Stinks rubbing off on me you'll get your your question read on the air
That's just how to do a patreon gets the first crack at it because they're dirty. Yeah
This one's from sky luke ten dollar homie first time long time one of the first one thousand patron there you go
Thank you buddy. Yeah, who you big dog? Are you garbage if your dog bit a door to door vacuum salesman p.s. my mom felt so bad she
bought three thousand of a three thousand dollar vacuum off them. Jesus yeah I don't uh those guys
had it coming I didn't like that at all every once in a while I might have mentioned there would
just be some bozo at the house where an electoral. Yeah, we never had that. I did like it.
Throwing brick dust on your carpet.
Yeah, but you got a shop?
What are you doing here?
Buddy, it's called America Online.
She always got them that way too.
She never bought a vacuum cleaner at the...
I mean, that's the stereotypical one
is the door to door vacuum cleaner, so that's like,
out of movie.
I don't think, first of all,
my mom's probably had four vacuum cleaners my whole life
Literally four I got a question for you. Please did you ever have the one that was like oh
Yeah, like the tube to the to the to the the skateboard like the package. Oh, yeah
Man, I'm the first time we got those we got it second hand
I think it was like my answer something and I give me a look it looks like a little dog like a little car
It's like a little bot. It's always like a piece of luggage.
Yeah, but it's long.
It's like rectangle as four wheels on it.
Mine was square.
Square?
Yeah, it looked like an overhead luggage package
with like wheels on it and a toes ran from that to the handle.
I'm saying it wasn't self-contained in the one.
No, we never had that.
That was... You never had the self-contained?
Nah, that was big money.
I thought. I don't think so. Or maybe the other way, we had the one. No, we never had that. That would never had the self-contained. That was big money. I thought, I don't think.
Or maybe the other way, we had the one that had the thing,
it had a hose and then it was like a long,
like it looks like a hot dog.
Well, it looked like the...
Patty would just stick the tube in full these mouth.
Ha ha ha.
Oh.
Like Kirby.
Yeah.
Had four wheels on it.
I guess ours was a newer version of that.
And it blew out the back and I would follow her around for
moving. That's vacuum smells.
All right.
I'd follow her around.
Yeah.
I put my head right behind it and take a little nap
while she was doing the floor and then wake up and then
follow her.
And I just felt that warm air blowing on me.
Probably horrible for you.
You think from 1970s vacuum cleaner?
That's just crushing me in the face
What's that birthday birthday to mess with the mess of the lioma?
Well, I was a dog walker at a dog by the guy
I've never we I'm one of our dogs ever actually bit anybody. Oh, I was so bad
I needed the money so bad. I couldn't afford to lose the client
And I did the guy was like what are you doing The dog got a hold of his thigh, dude.
Kind of dug.
A little weiner dog, they mad ex-real bastard.
A little doxin?
Yeah.
They can be little ones.
Yeah.
Any little dog don't play around.
Cute is a button.
I love a little, little panty doxin, little dog.
Oh, not this guy.
Let me tell you, his walk's got short,
and I started stealing his owner's liquor.
How'd it come in?
This guy's out here biting people I gotta do something to pass the time.
Something to pour on the wounds. Really? Did you did the guy have to did you
have to do a like a police report or whatever? I ran away pretty quickly.
You ran away. That's when you scoop that dog with the little legs
who's he can't keep up. Oh dude I was yanking the most. He's talking to me stop my dog. I'm sorry. This guy's going what the hell it was freaking out rightly so I would have fucking beat your ass
Yeah, it was bad news damn. Yeah, I don't I would never I never had a far away. Where?
I'm gonna be pretty quick. Yeah, I would
Better hope I don't find you
Yeah, that's, I feelin' bad though, I don't know.
I mean, I can't listen.
I was just banging on the door.
If someone came in and I let them give the pitch
and then my dog bit them,
I, oh, he also says I had to drive four hours
the next day to return it.
I do have to say that.
The dog?
No, the vacuum.
So I guess you just bought it off the guy in the moment.
The mom just said, okay.
And then it's like next day your wife. The dad got home and was like, what are you out of your mind? it off the guy in the moment the mom just hit okay and then like next day your dad got home was like what do you have your mind probably just felt bad in the
moment you just fucked the guy uh yeah we never had any door to the salesman and or dog never
been anybody which was good fact the dog get into a tussle before with another dog my old dog
Mike the German Shepherd.
It's when he was, it was an outdoor indoor dog.
This was the early 80s.
It was a rough.
He was in a dog house on a huge chain.
And he would bark every night,
anything that would come anywhere near the place.
And some, you know, in the winter,
he would sleep inside and all that stuff.
But he got into it with the husky next door.
Pull.
Sounds like a nice neighborhood.
It was like Rocky III. These two were going to add it. Yeah,ky next door. Pull. Sounds like a nice neighborhood. It's just like Rocky III.
These two were going to add it.
Yeah, they're under the L.
Nuts.
A Husky and a German shepherd.
Woo!
They were swinging.
Free or freaking out?
Wait, the dogs were boxing?
I want a good clean fight.
Correct.
Right.
Here in the dragon, to just come out.
It's all the craze.
Nah, they were going to add it, man.
Can you everybody freaking out?
Also, as a note from, we talked about in the chat episode,
that guy, the big guy who fights the two.
Yeah, I saw that message.
He runs, he runs the, like, it's called, like,
fight circus or something.
He's like the head of the promotion.
Mm-hmm.
Which is pretty bad as he's put himself in the fucking head.
Gorgeous whale and all that.
Yeah, that's all right.
Shout out to us, baby.
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Yeah, baby.
Good, kill, good, kill.
I don't know if I mentioned this to you before but my dad
We were at some type of state fair and they were doing
Like a demonstration for like hood cleaner or whatever it's called like some type of waxing and my dad under his breath
Was like on a shit doesn't work. Oh, and the guy heard of you told me. Yeah, what was that Baldi?
Hey, bought like fucking four boxes of it.
Mm-hmm.
Sat in my garage for like 25 years.
Yeah, that was a thing when I worked,
I used to work those home show and trade shows selling
home improvements and man, but like the guys
with the non-stick pans and they would come
and they are like, they are salesmen,
who they're showmen, they get, they draw a crowd,
they get you going, they get the employees
from the other booths walk
I'm sitting there looking be like maybe I do need a nonstick band. That's how those guys making up to Billy Mace
Of course. Yeah, yeah, that's like road comics. They're like yeah
Really hone your skills. Uh-huh. I remember I saw one guy. This guy was a comic
I was at the we were at the Atlantic City boat show nice. I was selling home improvements. It was a blizzard
No one think ten people showed up. We ended up getting a refund. Nobody showed up. But the water skiing squirrel was there, which blew
my mind. Oh, apparently there's more than one. That's your celebrity. I didn't say why didn't get
to spend time with them, but I did see them from afar. Called you backstage. But this comic,
I had just started comedy and the guy across from me was just selling a bunch of stuff. So we just started, there was no like, hey, I'm like, we were selling home improvements.
Other guys were selling cleaning products. This guy just had like a couple of books, a little bit of this, a little bit of that.
And we started talking, here he was a comic. I guess like left over from the 80s or, you know, early 90s or whatever.
And that's what he would do. He was just selling random stuff. Yeah. At a boat show?
How do you get a booth?
Doesn't have to be connected to a boat?
No.
You could just sell any vendor can come, essentially, yeah.
So you could go to the car show and...
A car show is a little different because that's not vendors there.
A car show is just displaying cars.
Okay.
I've just imagined the water skiing squirrel
at some hotel bar.
Drinking alone, chat, some...
So, ladies.
You know, I'm the main one.
They're all based off me.
That's my third one this week.
I need an avalous last week.
I'm a Columbus tomorrow.
You ladies have ever been to Columbus?
Top it all off.
I dug a bit of vacuum sales video yesterday.
Got the wife
Like breaking my little stones
But he was like I'm a comedian. I had just started comedy and I was like man If I ever end up selling shit at a bus you were a comedian too. I did I had to I was networking
I was trying to get the name of the guy. He got the booth off of.
I did.
I just started doing open mics.
I'm like, yeah, I started doing open mics and fill these.
I don't know how long I waited till I said that.
I'm a comedian.
You probably said it before you did it.
Yeah, fuck it.
You probably said it in the 70s.
Now with that, I was always real the other way.
I always thought we all were.
I would say do comedy.
I said I do.
Yeah, I was always I do comedy. Yeah said I do, yeah. It was always I do comedy.
Yeah, I would never say I'm a comedian.
Mm-hmm.
I still don't know.
I'll get the check.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
You guys said is that all one checker?
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Ah, it's so cute.
Ah ha ha ha.
Uh, yeah, I think I did.
Do comedy's good.
I think I did early.
Cause I didn't know.
And I was like, yeah, I'm a comedian
after I did it like twice. And then it will caught up to him and I'm like, oh, I'm not.
Now, I'm like, once I saw people do it like actually comedian or like, you know, working
to be comedian, not even comedians just working to be a comedian. I was like, I'm not that
guy. You're not that guy.
Oh, man.
I didn't know you could do that.
You could just show up to a trade show
and just sell, it's like a yard sale.
It's not a yard sale.
He had products.
What products?
You said he had books and stuff.
Yeah, he had his joke books.
What I think I bought,
or I think he gave me one,
so he's joke books.
He had like a self-published book of jokes
with some of the stuff he was selling.
He probably had like some cleaners and you have to,
I'm assuming, I don't know,
but I'm assuming you have to do something
you're adding value to the fucking.
To the boat.
To the show.
You're not just like selling your used roller blades
or whatever.
You're actually fucking, you're like,
yeah, I sell a bunch of cleaning products.
You trouble getting around the yacht.
Here you go.
Man, that was the worst fuck I didn't share that toilet brushes and Tupperware lids
That's kind of what yeah
It's Rocky on a boat velcro couple records
I didn't share a room with a kid yeah for? For like five days, we got snowed in.
I'll end up sitting.
He had to share a room with him.
And man, I would just, we would sit there.
And I, he would film me or record me snoring.
Because I was snoring.
It's so loud.
And I remember being like, dude, I'm sorry.
And he was sober.
And I would just sit there and get blind drunk by myself.
Because they canceled it.
But we couldn't leave because the snow was so bad.
Were we gonna casino?
Yeah.
Why don't you go play the tables?
I didn't have any money.
What do you even told me?
I was just, what do you know?
I was selling home improvements in a boat show.
I didn't have any fucking cash.
What are you talking about?
I got a free book from selling home improvements in a boat show.
Yeah.
Yeah, I was
That's like an old that's a good old street joke
Sellin I was selling roofs in a boat show that's what I was doing. I was selling eighty thousand dollar metal roofs
And you were just in the hotel room at what this kid nice kid. You know it was I don't think it's open
It might have been like Bailey's or Caesar's or something. I don't think it's open might have been like Bailey's or Caesar's or something
I don't think it's open anymore and I would go down every like hour
We were just sitting back because there's like couch's you were just like each sitting in our bed
You can't go outside because the weather was so bad
So I would just go down like every hour on the hour and crank like two heaters sitting at a fucking slot machine
I remember the one time I got yelled at for not playing this. They were like, you gotta play if you're sitting here.
I just need a heater.
Sitting in sweatpants and a dirty t-shirt,
catching heaters.
Selling TXL or whatever that stuff was.
It's brutal.
What was that stuff called?
Limestone TXL or TXL?
C-L-R.
C-L-R.
Ploring or calcium lime and rust has to be the R.
That'll get you in trouble. Stuff to be the R. See, I'll write off. That lime stuff will get you in the trouble.
The stuff that cleans the lime off of stuff.
You know what I'm talking about?
No.
What do you think I'm cleaning lime off of?
It's a kitchen, it's like a different kitchen spray.
They use it to like clean like the grills or something.
I don't know, but I sprayed it one time,
thinking it was something else,
and I almost killed like 40 people in the kitchen.
Yeah.
Cause it was right in front of the fan and like all of a sudden prep cooks are falling out.
You're making mustard gas in the sand.
What the fuck are you doing?
My cousin Sean, who's a listener shout out to you.
He had a, he was working a summer job and down the shore in the kitchen.
And he was like, they told him like, clean up.
And he did a moneon bleach in the in the like in the small back kitchen man, they had a clear out the whole restaurant everybody had to fall out
Talked about jammed up. I don't think he was I don't think he was asked back the next summer
All right, let's see here this one's from Calvin 10 dollar homie first time long time is it garbage you for dad pulls a knife on your brother
Door in a pool a free pool night at the bowling alley. There was nothing classy about that statement
No dad pulls a knife on your brother free pool at a bowling alley
Yikes dude that ain't good bad news. I wonder what he's like. I wonder if you sit at home waiting for an answer
Maybe let's send this to the pros and see what they really say about it.
Yeah, that's fucking, I mean also playing that much pool with your parents.
That's like a buddy's thing. Yeah, you should have be shooting pool with your parents.
The only thing that I wear it ends in a fucking fist fight.
I don't think I ever played with my dad was catch a board game or basketball or football.
Something like that pool.
Whatever shot pool with my dad.
Yeah, that's nuts.
That's like fucking that's like cosplay.
Yeah, stick.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
I mean, we did a lot of knee football,
his kids.
Sure.
Yeah, love it.
And there was always a thing where we need football
on a fresh carpet.
Whoo. It is put down turf. Dude, it was like this with every house. Yeah, and there was always a thing where we they football on a fresh carpet
Put down turf did it was like this with every house my dad my dad was big on running houses
Once he started making some money they were divorced he didn't buy so we ran a house and obviously not have he would furnish the living room Like the family room, but then the dining room or what so there was just like always a wide open living room and a wide open dining room.
That's nice. I was like that goddamn Super Bowl. Yeah, that's all right. And you you would hit him
with something you know you'd hurt him a little bit. Next play he was fucking out for blood.
No bow. Fucking hang you fucking hang you out the dry across the middle. Oh the reps are really letting go of this game. Let them play the middle age man seems angry.
All right, let's see.
This one's from I'm tap that's something.
I don't know.
I can't pronounce it.
Uh, $10 doofus never had one red.
Are you garbage?
If you've ever played the slot machines at a gas station,
these are popping up more and more specifically
in Pennsylvania too.
I don't know.
It's like proper slots.
Proper slots are like now in 7-11s and stuff.
That is so.
Gas station, 7-11.
What are you thinking?
How do you think that's gonna bring in good clientele?
Well here, hear me out, right?
Cause we were, I was,
and if I was the guy holding off,
I was the guy working behind the counter.
I don't want that. What, I'm a bartender now. I got to entertain I got to deal with that
I got to deal with these guys
Yeah, yeah listen. I yes as the employee that probably sucks as the end user
Because I was down there and I was talking to my buddy Pat
We were talking about going to the casino parks casino. Maybe look for a little action
No, no, no,ino, maybe look for a little action.
No, no, no, no, no, the sicko.
And he goes, you know what would be a good time.
The 7-11 off route one has slot machines.
And if you think about it, you got everything you need there.
Sure.
You can get beers, snacks, snacks, heaters.
You can pop outside smoke a heater
You don't have to wait for the waitress to come around with a drink as you come back
Is he not coming back those rollers are hot chilly dogs day it long as the day is long that's an adirt bag mentality
That's got everything you need how many how many slots are we talking? I don't know I've seen it for the boys
I don't want to be taking turns yeah the one I the only one I've seen there was two. Are they paying out there?
Yeah, because I went to a bar and fucking,
when I was home for business.
So doesn't that mean that they have to have a minimum
of cash on hand?
Yeah, they went up, my buddy, Vinny with the skinny
hit for like eight hunch on one of those machines.
Okay.
And they paid them out right there, cash.
See, that's given away how much money is at the place, too.
I mean, it's a bar. A bar's got 800 bucks on them. No think even 7-11. No, well 7-11's got cash 7-11's got more than 800
dollars cash on them. It's in a safe. I'm saying if you say if you start advertising that
You got slot machines and one of the slots machines like a million dollar thing that means they got a million dollars
I get got to go to this to 7-11 Clark isn't paying you out of million dollars dude
You got to go to the state the state office go back into the office
You want that in small bills or tequitos?
He opens up some shit paid
You got a big check. Yeah, no that's like I think it's like petty payouts
They like if you hit the scratchers or whatever sure
I got a couple of geezer. I think everybody knows yeah Yeah, you know what I never understood even to this day,
sometimes you go to a smaller place or whatever,
and you ask for, yes, for, you give them a 20,
and all they don't, it's not in a casual,
it's just like a box or something, and like a non-locked.
Do you ever see that?
Say it again?
It's in a cigar box or a shoe box
is where they keep the cash.
Like a mom and pop shop of some sure.
And I'm like, what do you, you're at least
get a cash register for that.
That's like, bodegas do that shit all the time.
Just like, you don't know what's under there.
Right.
bodegas are like, here's a sig, here's a gun,
here's 10 grain cat.
Yeah.
That's what you got nickel under there though.
Yeah, you want to assume, right?
Come on.
Are you crazy?
Or want to have little bats?
Yeah, I don't think they
got the nickel. I think a lot of them do. I think there'd be more shootings. You think?
There's a good amount. Not of bodega owners on the clients. I lately have been popping
off. Yeah, shit's fucking whack. It's over to him. Yeah. You can always get the temperature of,
of, uh, you know, politics by talking to a, a
bodega owner too. Cool. They give you the real feel on the neighborhood.
You know, you mentioned things that you don't understand. We can, we can cut this if you want,
but I had a couple of terms that I don't know what they are. I wanted to see if you guys
knew what they were. Okay. Things you don't understand. It just made me think that I had a couple of
things. I'm, I'm, I'm interested in things. I don't know.. Alright, zero sum game. What does that mean?
What does it mean or where what did where does the saying come from? What does it mean? Both? No.
Well zero sum game means no one way it's a if I lose 10 buy and I'm using money if I lose 10 bucks
there's no winner or loser the outcome is the say everybody stays the same it's a zero or loser. The outcome is the same. Everybody stays the same. It's a zero sum game.
Toby?
That right?
Zero sum game is a mathematical representation in game theory
and economic theory of a situation that involves two sides
where the result is an advantage for one side
and an equivalent loss for the other.
That doesn't make any sense.
Sure don't.
Zero sum game.
Yeah, so if you lose $ dollars and I win ten dollars from you
That's a zero some game because the total number of that doesn't that's not how I use the wind ten bucks
So you use in zero ten minus ten zero some game is a mathematical representation if the total
Participants are added up and the total losses are subtracted. They will sum to zero
Yeah, so if you win ten and I lose 10, that's a zero sum game. Plus 10.
But you won 10. How is it a zero sum game?
Because you're talking about me, this is talking about the whole game.
The whole game is minus 10 and plus 10 is zero.
Oh, okay. Zero change.
The game doesn't win anything.
What? How's always Lamp's baby?
What about quid pro quo? Yeah, that's Latin, right?
Yeah, quid pro quo is a that's quid pro like standard operating norms in my head. Toby
quid pro quo. A favor or advantage granted or accepted in return for something. Oh, that's right. That's what they were trying
That's what they get politicians on was it quit pro quo. Did you give them the contract in hopes for the kickback scratch my back
I'll scratch yours. That's a good one
Everybody knows that. That's a zero sum game right there and the last one was the
Gold and I thought last one was the golden rule. What is the golden rule? Do
on tellers they do it. Yeah, that's biblical. Be nice. Really it. Yeah, don't be a dickhead. I don't know.
They'll use it. Google it. Something. You know what? I didn't know I didn't know about that. I feel
it's all over the golden hour is like the sunset. Golden shower. The golden hour. Yeah, I think that's when you have dimension
No, that's the sundown
Golden hour. Yeah, that's the like do you see it?
Happy hour eight minutes five o'clock somewhere
Golden hour is right before the sun sets. Yeah, I know that it's when you get the best light
It's like to glow the golden hour. Huh, there's that I had no idea. It's when you get the best light. It's like the glow, the golden hour. There's that, I had no idea.
And I feel everybody's been saying it.
It's right as the sun goes below the horizon,
you get the cleanest light possible.
It's when they do a lot of filming during that time.
Wait, really?
Oh yeah, I thought you'd want the sun pointing down at you.
Well, you know.
Huh.
Hollywood types.
Yeah.
Who's the most famous person you've ever met?
Been in the company of? Yeah. Where's the most famous person you ever met? Been in the company of yeah, there's a couple who
Is because my aunt but he was the mayor at the time of Philadelphia Ed Rendell sure?
I waited on him went sledding at his house really
I don't mean he'll want to kick her at the bottom. I waited on him about 15 years ago. Yeah, nice guy. Yeah
15 years ago. Yeah. Nice guy. Yeah.
Nice guy. I was agree with you. Yeah. He would come. He was like a bit like if he was a temper, I'll tell you that. My my ant worked very close to with him. And if he was he
would come to like big events for the family for like my grant. Like a game to like my
grandparents like 50th anniversary. Nice stuff like that. Pulse of strings to get them
at the cathedral in the have this have the mass there hit a steady with him was pretty cool. Yeah,
I would always love talking to that guy. I would come in and I'd be like, it was kind of
peace. You were talking to the muscle. Yeah, the best. That was cool. The driver. I mean, I only
met him a hand. Maybe those guys can wear a sport coat. Oh, yeah, they fill that thing out.
Tired state troopers at Oregon security. Man, I think they're, I know those are actual active state troopers.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Oh, no, you get that for life with your governor.
No, I know I'm not know him.
I, he was after he was the governor.
And he had a dude with him.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
You might get that for life.
That state.
Yeah, yeah.
That's a, that's a troopers on that detail.
Sweet dude.
Goons for life.
Come on.
Goons for life is awesome.
That's, that doesn't get any better than that
Uh-huh and ex-president you just got the secret servers with you rolling around
That's got to be a bum detail though sometimes you got to really like to do it
I guess unless you're with George W. Then you're just fucking slugging whiskey smokers the guards hang it
Yeah, fucking get Jimmy Carter or something fuck
I got Ross Perot.
Fuck.
George, you're watching college football day.
He's painting.
Yeah, that's a good time.
Shootin' the top off beer cans.
Yeah, that's all right.
Hoppin' to that helicopter is pretty sweet.
What?
You know, when you got to get the salute when you hoppin' to the Marine one.
Oh, yeah, you think that's cool. What the yeah, of course it is
Hopping into the world's coolest helicopter with Marines. You think that's cool. Do you?
Yeah, wait that's your famous guy that him in movies
He's not an athlete. He's a politician
Your late Charles Barkley no the lady you spent time with was an 80 year old CBS affiliate.
Whatever. She was a local celebrity.
He was the mayor of Philadelphia. And world, not world famous, locally famous comedian.
Still good family friend, Joe Conquan, man of 10,000 voices. He would show up and we
make them do the characters and now looking back.
Man, how much that had to suck.
I got a couple of uncles that you can't mention Joe Conklin.
I play a Joe Conklin down at the end.
He play a Joe Conklin tells it.
Pac-Man.
Man of 10,000 voices.
Yeah.
He was big on a 610 WIP, which was the sports talk,
Philly sports talk, Angel Ocataldi.
Did you know any local DJs when you were younger?
They were me to Geter.
My mom, they all know I threw him through Conklin.
The Geter, we were here.
We're pretty well connected in Philadelphia.
We knew the X-Maker.
If you need a YXP calendar.
We got you covered. More of an MMR, man.
Um, never met the Geater.
I met him at John DeBella.
Never met John DeBella.
You did.
I think so.
Yeah, I came to our school for some reason.
We know Bob Kelly.
I don't want to brag.
You know Bob Kelly, I think that's his name.
No, it's just trying to.
He does like the broadcast an hour every every week down the shore at a seaport pier. No, I was just trying to. He does like the, he broadcasts an hour every week
down the shore at a seaport pier.
Oh, we were there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We know Bobby comes over, he says,
I didn't know.
Ah.
I don't know, but you know, showbiz, the showbiz,
we give each other a nod.
That's pretty good.
Yeah, my family knows all of those local Philly,
local Philly, Gator with the heater,
couple of mommers, couple of mommers.
Yeah, that kind of thing.
Get your concert tickets, get you out of parking tickets.
We're like, we're really, we're really well engaged
in that realm, other than that.
I was on the, I was on TV for the one time I was in the Thanksgiving
day parade. That was it. And my mom might have been lying just to make me feel good. I
muddened not made the cut, but she said she saw me. No, what I was going to say is that
day when they were picking kids for double dare season one, this was huge. I had a lady
walked right by me, looked at me and just kept moving
Did you say you find a canine your pocket?
Hey, but thanks for coming out snacks are in the back
I wanted to be on it so bad. I don't know what it was. I just knew it was a casting call
You're on a couch. I don't
Get a rabbit Gang we love you to death. Uh-huh, and we'll see you next week. Peace
We're gonna wrap it up.
Gang, we love you to death.
Uh-huh.
And we'll see you next week.
Peace.