Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Wasp Attack w/ Kippy & Foley
Episode Date: August 19, 2024Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live ...show! AYG Live Show Tickets: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets Live Shows: https://punchup.live/areyougarbage/tickets PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Mint Mobile: https://www.MintMobile.com/GARBAGE Aura Frames: https://auraframes.com Promo Code: garbage Pretty Litter: https://www.prettylitter.com/garbage Blue Chew: https://bluechew.com/ Promo Code: Garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hachi-machi New York City and the surrounding areas.
We got a brand new show coming to the Gramercy Theater August 27th.
We're gonna have some of our favorite guests come on and answer your garbage questions live.
Yeah, I'm not supposed to say anything, but we got Mark Norman, Ari Shaffir, and Big J. Okerson.
All tickets available at rugarbage.com. We'll see you there.
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for details do it welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the
show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash.
Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley.
Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is R U Garbage.
Oh, yeah.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we
find that the group to be classy. Yeah. Just a big old
piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, Tate
Trulli, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back
here at Tooties in the new edition. She just picked up a
part-time job over at the high school. Okay. Defensive
coordinator. Gonna be running a four-three this year. Hell of a
squad. Nickelback. Mike O is coming at you from across the table.
He is the CEO of RU Garbage.
He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world.
Give it up for KJ.
Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
What up, gang?
Thanks for tuning in.
First things first, please make sure you review, subscribe on iTunes.
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As you know, those numbers are true. The roof, baby, cooking.
And obviously my favorite website of all time, you go over there to
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Cooking baby. I love it and gang our good pal. Toby McMullen is no longer with the show
We wish him the best of luck. We were gonna be supporting him and anything he does
We hope you guys do the same filling in for him
You look like a kid that just went up to the cockpit
How do you fly this thing new guy Luke everybody?
Working the once and twos there. He is guy Luke. Hey kid is this where I speak now. This is your time
I put up like an arm when I have something to say you take your Invisalign out. Look at those chompers
He's you like George Washington sitting back there. Yeah gang
We're here for what we call a little family episode just the the boys, the bozos and the homies, just the way we like it.
I've been doing battle over at my place.
OK, I mean, I don't know.
I don't know with who or with what, but I guarantee it.
You ain't winning wasps.
No, buddy.
No. Where? I got an insurgency going on over at my place.
So up on the roof. Nice joint you got. I've been
spending a lot of time by the ductwork. That's where I that's
where I catch my heaters over by the broiler up on the roof. The
railing is steel pipes, right? Yeah. And architect you are
they're open. Like, oh, that's where they get you. you and I don't know I really been putting it off for like weeks
You got a book you smoke them out or something. I saw a couple a few weeks ago
I'm gonna get to it. I got to get the wasp ray
I got to get the wasp ray that has that long little red thing so I can fucking squirt in there and get them
You're not quick enough to get away if they turn on you. I'm aware of that dude
I was in Def ConON 4 or whatever.
Whatever the bad one is.
I was jammed up.
I waited too long.
And then I got some wasp spray and I went up there and man.
Just went to war with them.
But I couldn't get in there.
They kept coming out and getting away.
That was all, listen, what you're not a, you know,
you're usually, what you should do is use your your charm
You're a very charming guy. What am I gonna do crowd work on it?
You should infiltrate this infiltrate the nest make them think you're one of them and then take over inside job corporate takeover
It's that guy's pretty cool. Hey, we're on the streets. You got good connect. No. I just nuked them
I went in there got him in there went the other side
But now I feel like they they flew over to the fence
And now there's a couple over there. I don't know if they have like a what happened sex with my buddy get out of you
I don't know if they had a side base or something like that, but they're still kind of up there
Uh-huh that waspray is toxic man. Yeah, that's all my fingers. I put my I picked my nose, dude
I could smell it for two days dark flying
Dude, I could smell it for two days. They start flying out.
That'll kill you.
Yeah, man.
Not a guy of your size.
That's got to be a lot of wasps.
Get a half a can in me.
You don't have anything like that down there.
No, I got nothing in the bird.
You're going to get them.
I got some birds.
We got some birds in the gutters.
Birds in the gutter.
That's a new punk band coming out.
Yeah, we got a...
There's a bird's nest under the gutter guard in the gutter.
And I just let them be.
That's, you know, that's what I'm gonna do.
That's nice.
So then a baby falls out though,
then you're jammed up and you gotta take care of it.
Yeah, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.
But back, that reminded me, I don't know if you guys,
back in the day, spent a lot of times
just like in the woods or whatever, smoking cigs,
you know, like eighth grade summer.
What varsity athletes do?
Yeah, eighth grade summer,
seventh, sixth to eighth grade summer,
you got nothing going on, you got no day job,
you're not working yet. Sure.
You know what I mean?
So just wake up, we'd fucking, you know.
Rip heaters by the creek.
Yeah, try to get our hands on some heaters,
go out by the creek, maybe someone could, you know,
snag a couple of brewskis or something.
Sure. From the house.
You got nothing but time.
Nice bottle of Amaretto. I remember, I think I said Vinny with the skinny in August.
It was my birthday.
It must have been like my 13th birthday.
He stole a bottle of...
It was just your birthday, by the way.
Happy birthday, pal.
It was just my birthday.
What are you, 38?
38.
Woo!
Look at you.
Airline 56.
You don't.
Yeah. Waistline. What is your waist? 38? is your waist 30 36 is but I'm under the I'm under the I'm under the pouch
I'm not going over. Oh, I went over the pouch. I'd be I know 52 or so. I'm over the pouch. Yeah, it's not a great
Look, I don't know what to do
You got me dude. You got fat math teacher waist that thing is screaming. I thought about it though.
I am 50.
I'm 48.
I don't got to worry about that shit now.
No, do you?
I'm gross.
You're not doing this from a wheelchair.
Wheelie in here, prop you up.
Calling it a rascal.
But dude, finding, I remember one time
we found a monster bee's nest.
This thing was, I mean, this was the size.
I don't like bees.
This was the size of like a five gallon bucket. It
must have just been there for years. In the tree? In the tree, probably about 25 feet
up and I mean we, for a week and a half, went to war with this thing. Rocks and shit? Yeah,
just rocks. So dumb. Through tennis balls. That's how they got Macaulay Calkin in my
group. I know, his glances, he can't see without his glances. He's dead!
He's not gonna need glances where he's going.
I respect bees, I love bees, I love honey, I know what they do.
What are you running for fucking mayor?
I'm just saying, I'm scared of them.
And wasps, forget about it, they serve no social contribution.
At least bees are kinda cute, wasps are proper evil bumblebee scare me, too
The one with the yeah, they're like flying dogs. Those things are huge those things got some they got some weight to them
But I heard they don't bite. I think they bite they can bite and not sting or something
They can bite not we get a they have a retractable stinger the bumblebee wait the Wolverines
Yeah, the big fuzzy guy. Yeah, they come back in and out
Oh, they don't they don't die when I don't think they die. Oh, I think the worker bees do might as well be a goddamn
Because everybody told us that we were a kid bumblebees don't sting and Mike my buddy Mikey Brown
We were sucking down a couple of chocolate tacos
Like a varsity athlete in town line and
One one on the back of his knee and somebody's like don't worry
They don't sting and this thing lit him up, dude. You thought he got sniper'd it was yeah, but yeah
It's just the drones that don't have the the like in between bumblebees, you know, not the big dogs
Okay, not the drone the drones the worker bees. I
Love all that stuff. But was was are evil. They don't do nothing.
They don't serve any purpose, I don't think.
No, and they also-
Neither do I for that matter.
Still.
They're like the poison sumac of bees.
That was like, you know, remember how like,
I got poison, watch out, there's sumac in there.
You got poison or poison oak?
Was it poison oak and poison sumac?
Poison ivy's the regular one.
That was like the boogeyman
Fucking you just hear tales of that stuff getting a kid two schools over poison ivy was alright
That was you could that's matter you get sumac you're ended up down in Children's Hospital, dude
You're fucking GM. I was always amazing people could recognize it my mom would be like that's poison oak don't touch it
Who do you bear grills over there smoking it?
Twisted I used to get that shit so bad.
I was so allergic to poison ivy.
Anyway, jammed up over there with the wasp situation.
Why are you calling a pro?
What?
Calling a professional exterminator.
Hey, come get these guys.
I thought you meant like LeBron or somebody.
Hey, when you dunk on these dudes.
Steph Curry in there.
Light them up with some threes.
To not afford them.
Yeah.
But that's either here or there, gang. we got a gosh darn family episode on our hands as you know when you sign up for
The patreon we will answer your garbage questions on the air
When let's do that now. This is from will you I don't know why I transitioned like that and with your help
We'll do it. We'll get those bees
This is from William
Never have one read parentheses not lying, which I think a lot of people started lying about saying they respect the move
Hey, buddy, it's just not I got three days to live a lot of them start changing their names and stuff
Respect shout out to the homies is it garbage you have to stop your dad and uncle from a fistfight while camping
Dad made a comment about my aunt's boobs almost came to blows.
Holy shit. Dude, you know that's it. The fire's going. He's been staring at them
all day. He's got about nine Miller lights. And he goes, hey, set of cans on
her, huh? Like next thing you got a bite of neck. That's, I mean...
Couple of picnic baskets over there. Hello. Hey, hey, boo boo. That's I mean couple of picnic baskets over there. Hello Hey boo-boo, that's always scary
When when oh when it when you're a kid and adults turn on each other? Yeah
I've never if you're like yell at me, you know what I mean, but sure I never had that my my uncles and my dad
That was never ever anything remotely like that
It was a couple of times
Legal purposes we have to move on a couple of back rubs. Oh really hot tub going something like get your hands off my wife
Nah yeah, we've never uh let's just say Tucker T. Had a couple of
Jenny cream ales in them
Got a little affectionate
Patty did not like that over Patty was taking her hoops out problem it was the 80s sure they were all swinging back then
okay all right really I can't talk about this. All right.
That was, we would always, you know, my family's very big, so the cousins, you know,
all the aunts and uncles and then the cousins generation
spans from like, at one point, like infants to like,
28 year olds.
These are Kenzo dirt balls.
Yeah, we're talking about-
All due respect.
We're talking about Irish yaks without a goddamn future.
Man.
And anytime one of like the older cousins would bring, because there are a couple good-looking guy cousins who would land some, you know.
Sure. And there's a thing in our family where a lot of the dudes marry up. A lot of the guys are swinging out of their weight class.
Gotcha. So they would, you know, there would be a new girl. Socially. Social class. They'd get a couple rich broads.
No, just better looking than they are. Yeah, and
There would be some times really, you know, so and so would roll in with somebody only, you know
The new flavor of the month or whatever and all the uncles would be like, ah
Fucking out tongues are on the floor. It's like buddy. What do we do is a goddamn Thanksgiving dinner?
I gotta say grace get the yams cooking. Let's get up. Yeah, have you seen?
It's like, yeah, I seen.
Oh, we all saw it.
Christmas mask, I gotta say.
Day of the Lord.
It's not my fault she's got them hanging out.
You wear a low, who wears a low cut top,
low cut top to Christmas Eve.
She's got her belly button ring out.
It's Easter, she's in a bikini.
What do you want from me?
I'm all jacked up on honey-baked ham.
Can only do, hey, I'm only aed up on honey baked ham and only do hey
I'm only a man at the end of the day
Yeah, that was always uh you know any time a new person came in you were like hot. That's a tough look
That's like when Tony and Bobby got into it on the Sopranos
They beat the shit out of each other when they were up at the mountain house. Yeah, but the lake house
And talk about ruining a vacation
Did you ever have that?
Where's whatever it is?
Yeah.
Did you ever have where the vacation got cut short?
Like one of the families left because of some type of whatever
well, we would do ours with no, we never really went on like
like I said before, we never really went on vacations.
We were just down the shore a lot.
It was like get down the shore someone's got a family ever
to leave early.
That's it.
We're leaving.
Oh really or like that's it. Oh, yeah, this just happened. Not that long
Yeah, like I've had to deal I've had to deal with like give me the keys. You're not right
It's 2 30 and the more you're not going back to Philly. Give me the keys sleep it off sleep on a couch
Whatever you're fucking double just you're not going home. I can't let that happen fighting over Almore game
Jerry Blavitt. Yeah, we never had anything like that. There was a couple of lines crossed of
Other parents parenting other kids but nothing major
My mom was real paranoid and I remember my one
Uncle family friend wanted to take the kids at a beach and go boogie boarding
And I think my brother was like 13 at the time. My mom freaked out. You're not going to the beach and go boogie boarding. And I think my brother was like 13 at the time,
my mom freaked out,
you're not going to the beach without me, no.
And like made a whole big stink about it.
Yeah.
Dumb broad.
Shut up.
I love you, Patty.
Patty's, you really got Patty's number this week.
Woo, wee, she's a good kid.
I, yeah, no, there was always,
I mean like we're a big drinking family.
So the cousins, like my generation, right.
So, like, now let's say we go out drink at this point, a little settled.
We're a little older at this point, but in our 20s.
Right. So you have all of my. They'd all tune you up, right?
I get fucked up. You're the weakest link in the squad.
I don't know. Probably the young kids.
So a lot of the women, a lot of the women my you my cousin Mikey
He's the next youngest one under me and he would fucking his hands are like dry
Fuck me up. I don't kick your ass though for public appearances
I don't know if I was telling the other day all my younger cousins would
Well, the thing is they all so we'd all go out drinking and they all marry all the girl cousins like my sisters
And all my good like that age group. There's a couple they all married like fucking
You know guys who hang sheetrock and all your cousins scare me. They all have like flame tattoos
They all they're all like they're they're all tatted up. They're all fucking you know after a couple of Heineken's they start close talking
Get their arm over it.
They're getting grilled by a detective.
Yeah, all right.
How much you make?
What?
But there's been a lot of times where like so.
No filter either, man you're getting big, huh?
Ah dude, everybody, that's the number one question.
Ah, how's the pot going good man?
Foley got big, huh, or whatever.
Good test.
Sons of bitches.
Asked me to christen this kid last week,
can you believe that?
But there'd be times where they get out,
someone, myself or somebody, my brother, you know.
And every, someone, there's a point where
it has to get broken up at some point.
Where like, you know, you go, why easy, go home.
We would just get, every once in a while,
mom would get too drunk and start crying.
All right, so it happens from time to time.
You've been talking to nice dudes.
The guys were always real respectful
and like never, never went there at all.
There was never any like competition or whatever.
They had a strong united front
and they were usually pretty on the same page
about everybody. If they didn't like this one or love that one or whatever sure yeah every
once in a while somebody would you know one of the moms would get a little too
much bad-ass hells plane or something like that meatloaf yeah paradise by the
dashboard light and all of a sudden I remember I remember one of them started
crying down the shore my uncle Mike I was was like, what's up with her? And he's like, alcohol is a depressant.
Woo!
Hit me with that.
Doggy.
I was six at the time.
Ha ha ha, never looked at it.
Killing my buzz, dude.
Ha ha ha.
You should make me one of them Schlitzes.
Ha ha ha.
Get a couple of tears going.
Kit, what's song about Aura Frame?
Woo, shout out to that Aura!
We take a lot of pictures.
Yeah, I take a lot of pictures.
Nobody ever looks at them?
No.
You know how you can get around that?
Tell me, Fatso.
Share with the family?
Yeah.
No matter where they are?
What?
Aura Digital Frame, pinhead.
You throw it on the counter, you see what the kids are up to,
they got the little league game, they got this, they got that, it's fantastic.
I know.
Solid product.
When I travel a lot, you know-
You hear what I said?
Yeah, it's a solid product. Every one of my- every fucking female in my family has one my mom my sister-in-law
Talk about mother-in-law no brainer gift. What do when I go on though when I go on the road?
I set one up at home, and I said I upload tasteful nudes for my wife. Oh be whole stuff deeper interested
It's a scare the mice away guys. It's it's a meaningful present. It doesn't take a lot of thought It's very easy if you got a lady a mother a daughter a sister anybody in your life
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Do it.
All right, let's see, this one's from Machin,
or Machine, I don't know.
$10 complete bozo here.
Are you garbage if you pack your sandwich
in an empty chip bag if you're out of normal sandwich bags?
Dude.
Woo!
They are talking about you in the break room.
If you pull, dude, if you pull a hoagie
out of a Doritos bag, that is a...
You get the Cool Ranch sparkles on it.
That might, that would be a good seasoning.
Add a little flavor.
Add a little flavor.
Man, we used to do...
Those are generic brand chips, by the way.
For sure.
Those are...
For sure.
I always hated the... That's a tortilla chip
You get in the oats party mix it is a regular tortilla chips. Yeah, no, that's like that in the pretzels get out of here
It's like taking communion those things those things
You got a kneel afterwards
I always hate it in
growing up the flip bag. The one that didn't have a
that's all we grew up with. They sucked. Never worked. Always get fucked up. My mom could do it.
That and Saran Wrap. You got to have three kids to work Saran Wrap. They haven't. Dude, I end up
like a mouse in a glue trap when I'm working with Saran Wrap. They haven't improved that one bit.
It's still a nightmare to get to get the Saran wrap off.
Yeah.
It never works.
Mm-hmm.
I love when somebody does tin foil really well.
Moms could always get a tight seal.
You put that thing in space.
Yeah.
You get a tight seal on that.
I used to, there was a time when a friend of mine,
or they own a butcher, like a meat store,
and I would wrap the meat.
And that, like, you know, oh, man.
And then you have to break the egg. I'm always amazed how they wrap hoagies. I got to, dude, that like you know, oh man and then you have to
I'm always amazed how they wrap hoagies. I got a dude the hoagie is a drum but growing a spliff
No popping in that thing. We were a big tin foil family
setting up your crack out of
Setting up the metal detectors at school
Just my sandwich everything would be in tin foil the sandwich would be in tin foil and she thought that if you
wrapped a cold soda in tin foil it would stay colder. My one buddy Derek would do, he would show up and I would be like,
gee I had a warm Coke. What are you eating a robot? Dude I had a warm Coke that ruined my peanut butter sandwich
every day. Oh that sucks. I take it out and be wrapped around the can of coke like fuck
Jesus Christ, sitting here eating a half pipe up. The difference between a warm soda and a cold soda Oh my god, so you're living in the 1600s. That shit sucks
Yeah, I was uh that was that was my go-to. Did you guys have lunch boxes?
That was dork shit to me by that point. Who are you? Did you guys,
you guys, I guess, tough to get an angle back here. Did you guys watch TV when you were a kid?
Do we have lunch boxes? Yeah, an 18 lunch box, the thermos always. That was very crisp. Remember when
you were in the Beatles? Ummm... That was awesome.
No that was...
I had a new kid jibing in, I like it.
Still training!
I need a safety vest on.
You're like the waiter that's training behind the waiter.
I used to hate that.
I hated being the guy that was training, the guy that was getting trained,
and if it ever happens when I'm at a restaurant. What's up, I'm Steve, this is Bill, I hate that. I hated being the guy that was training, the guy that was getting trained,
and if it ever happens when I'm at a restaurant.
What's up? I'm Steve. This is Bill. He's going to stay in here and creep you out for a couple
of minutes.
It's brutal.
And dude, I had to do that as a busboy, which it's like, dude, there's not, it's not that
hard. We'll figure, take the plate.
This is Kevin. He's an idiot.
I do.
This is Kevin. He'll be eating the rest of your hamburger after my tucked in shirts coming out my fly.
It was always such a ruse in restaurant.
I'm wearing dude, I'd be a 14 year old wearing my dad's clothes in their bus and table.
You tow the line for like a couple of weeks.
It's like, you know, it's all professional at first.
You know, like this is Bill.
I'm going to be doing coke with him in a couple of weeks.
I'm going to party.
Uh-huh.
Oh, yeah.
That was, man, I remember the first time I was working.
I was in college.
I was a freshman in college.
I was working at a high-end restaurant down there
in Center City, Philadelphia.
I didn't know this.
Yeah.
What?
Portofino.
Ooh.
Yeah, very.
You didn't tell me that. I'm sure I did.
How am I just finding out about... I'm sure I did.
I know the pizza place. What pizza place?
The pizza place that you worked at as a kid.
Santo Palato? Yeah.
Rest in peace. I think it's now called Pizzaland or something like that.
Dude, for some reason...
Chinese came in and bought it out.
In my hometown, a bunch of generic ass pizza places, all of...
Like they took over the one,
there was like IG's Pizzeria, like all these like, you know,
and it's like pizza world, pizza land, pizza city.
I'm like, what are we doing here?
You worked at Portofino as a server?
It's Porto, Luke, can you see if Porto, no, as a bus boy.
As a fucking 19 year old bus boy.
Yikes.
Can you see if Portofino in Philadelphia is still,
it can't be, that had to be-
You were the hostess?
Look up, John.
I got to look up.
My uncles are coming in staring at my teeth.
Permanently closed.
Permanently closed.
Man, when you see that, it's never good.
That's the kippy bump for you right there, gang.
There was three reviews on Facebook.
I was like, I don't think this is working out.
I mean, you were in the restaurant industry
back in Philly at that point.
I was.
I was a swanky place. Well, you were working there when I knew you know yeah, I would have been before two or three years before I met you okay?
I remember a port of feet. I'm gonna try to get a job there shot. Yeah, I saw you walk in
I said that is dude staying looks like he smells
He's got a bad attitude on
I've ever heard these myths for everyone you're waiting for a while
When I was trying to find a job
I think in New York when I got up here somebody had told me like an old manager and said
When you go in for the interview
Dress like a waiter like wear like a uniform like wear like black pants and a white shirt
That and that seems to make sense. No it always backfires.
Because I didn't have a job and I go in and they'd be like, are you, where you
working at now? I'm like, no I'm not working now. Do you just dress like a waiter in your
off time? Dude, now that I think about it, you at least had to lie and said you were
working. That's crazy. I just got off a brunch shift, something. I just wanted to
let you know I'm ready to go. got to get the guest checkbook and then
Where's your name? Hey Bryce Harper walking around in the uniform?
Hey, you gotta dress for the job you want you know what I mean? That's a too thin undershirt. That's not just a white shirt
That's like tooth. Yeah, you're like you can see your belly
Under the button-down shirt no you were just wearing a white undershirt.
You just got off a shift.
You had stains all on your pants and shit.
Had a fighter helmet on.
Yeah, that's a tough look.
But yeah, I worked at Portofino.
I forgot why I started that story,
but I did work at Portofino.
And I remember there was a tight crew of waiters
that worked there at that time.
Gotcha.
And they invited me out one night
cause I was underage.
Like, and they were like, cause like, they were like,
I was like, you know, I'm a pretty good,
nice guy to hang around with, funny.
Got a couple of riffs here and there,
a couple of bits popping around.
And they were like, yo, we were having a drink
at the thing or whatever. I don't know, maybe don't maybe pen and pencil that's a big Philly
I was like a writers bar yeah it became a I don't know they were going we were
going they were they were going down to Finn McCool's that right remember Finn
McCool's right down the street a good blow and I know I went there and it was
just like it turned into like out at the restaurant.
It was pretty they were pretty tight laced because it was like a pretty, you know,
there's a guy who ran a tight ship.
So like and then I got there and they were all like fucking making out with it.
It was like spring break when we walked in.
They were all making out, doing blah.
It was servers gone wild.
And like I used to date Tiffany.
She's now with Steve.
And then dude, then the cook show up and that's that that's the fucking big dick walking in the room
The second the cooks got there like motorhead rolled in
Fucking let me at the end of the bar. Yeah, they the cooks are those guys always closed the chef for the cooks
Yeah, they went of course. They all they always got all the hot servers. Mm-hmm always you too
You're in there. So how long you been cooking?
Shutting it some taters
All right, let's see here this one's from penny mustard stains $10 humy never had one read
Shout out to you is it garbage if your mom sent you to first grade with your crayons in a crown royal bag
Oh, he said the teachers had to call it in Is it garbage if your mom sent you to first grade with your crayons in a crown royal bag? Oh?
They said the teachers had to call it in
That's bad, dude, that's
Those are they were all broken
There was no wrapper on it was sharp either
May that always that always made me that sucked when you
Opened up and like you just had like it's a different thing at that point when it gets all filed down it's a Different thing yeah, I feel like a charcoal artist. Yeah, I mean it's like it's all in your hand the papers off
Even even the ones that came with the sharpener. It is never the same a fresh crayon
Flat top there was nothing better than like outlining something with that I felt like and then do anything real nice a nice box
64-pack Let's go
I remember feeling genuinely like we had like generational wealth when I got that six
I was showing people and Christmas. I was taking it to my cousin's house. You know get a load of this sky blue
Not that eight pack bullshit. You're pushing that you get stole from TGI Fridays get out of here. I'm talking a heavy bike
That's trashy man, that's a tough look that's a tough but I mean like also
what are we doing it's not like the first graders drinking you know what I mean it's like why you
gotta call that in it's a mom trying to make good a clear that she can't afford the 64 pack
yeah I don't know man a crown the liquor in liquor in school? Liquor, liquor paraphernalia?
That's contra, man.
It's probably the 80s, who gives a fuck?
I'm saying everybody drunk, who cares?
Teacher's probably doing yip.
Got his lunch in a weed box.
A little shake in there.
All right, let's see, this one's from True North Trash.
Is it garbage for the wedding party to get steaks
and everyone else got burgers?
Talk about gut and goss. That's messed up. Dude, burgers at a wedding seems crazy. Sliders at
a wedding. As an hors d'oeuvre, as a past hors d'oeuvre. Sure. Burgers at a wedding? Who the
hell wants to dance after eating a burger? If everybody's sleeping in the back, might as
well be serving turkey. Bunch of whoppers.
Texas barbecue burger.
I don't think I've ever been to a burger at a wedding.
Anything separate is weird.
Anything where...
They get something, you get something.
Yeah, at that point, just make it kitschy
and everyone's got burgers.
Ah, we're doing it low key, we're cutting.
Burgers at a wedding.
We got burgers.
Burgers at a wedding is wild that dude. That's insane. I had to have fries
It's probably fries or a salad. Those are the choices probably tots got tot it up mashed potatoes
They're just doing the best potatoes or steaks. I love a burger with a mash, but yeah, really? Oh, I don't think I've ever had it
That's too heavy, dude. That's it's a nice. You're doing take a nap. Are you doing great? Oh, it's great. I don't think I've ever had it. Oh, that's too heavy, dude. That's a nice. You gotta take a nap after.
You're doing gravy on it? I would, yeah. Would you put it on the burger?
Not an animal. I would do that. I would do that. That would be my first move,
maybe. Kind of like ketchup. Yeah. Like whip it up, make a little whip,
and then... I didn't think to do that. That's what I would do. If you're doing
both of them, you're doing that. I didn't think to do that until I caught wind
of the Thanksgiving on a roll, putting mashed
potatoes on a sandwich, which I didn't discover until pretty late in life.
What mashed potatoes on a sandwich?
No, the Thanksgiving on a roll.
That's newer.
Yeah.
Once like while, I mean like restaurants started doing it.
The gobbler.
The gobbler.
Yeah, I never thought to do it.
Now you just have them on the side.
I remember crushing a gobbler.
Oh man, getting so sleepy. I think they sell them all year it now. You just have them on the side. I remember crushing a gobbler
Man getting so sleepy. I think they sell them all year round now I do there was there was a time because I would treat it while awesome while over do like Thanksgiving on a sandwich
I get the big the like the classic the fucking big John. It's like a it's like a footlong
And I take that to a homeless shelter. I was so fat dude. I was so fat
I would that mashed potatoes squishing out the side.
I'd get a half a gallon of Wawa iced tea
and a big bag of Doritos,
and I would go toot and get so sleepy afterwards.
And they only served them from like
two weeks before Thanksgiving to maybe like December.
You know what I mean?
You had like six weeks to get them,
and I would use that as an excuse to like I would do.
I would be doing like four or five gobblers a week, just crushing them,
do putting them down inside a mac and cheese.
That while Mac and cheese is all right.
A classic gobbler.
That's it's a long it's a long.
It's like a foot for the folks that don't know.
Wow. And I would do I mean, I'm not doing any sandwich.
It's not a fucking classic at this point.
If I'm I enjoy a shorty, which are the smaller ones, believe it or not.
We've entered Foleyville, everybody.
Yeah, it does six of them. But
I like I like I could fit the whole thing in my mouth at one time.
I'm a party train.
I love a hoagie party.
Who don't then do that at the wedding? Not burgers. That's hoagie party tray. Who don't? Man.
Do that at the wedding, not burgers.
That's crazy.
Yeah, they started at burgers on a wedding.
That's, I mean, that's...
I would be pissed.
If I, if I showed up there, brought a gift and all that stuff, and I saw these dickheads
who got fucking Porterhouse for nine.
Also think about the invitation.
You probably didn't get what you want to choose.
I said, so I'm saying the choice is probably fries or a salad.
Think about the rumblings. I'm like, oh, if you don't know what's common, you're like, what's
coming out? None of those burgers are cooked to order. Even though they start
dropping them burgers on you. Dude, this says the dad started a fight because the
dad paid for the wedding and only got a burger. I'd be fucking pissed too, dude.
I'd be going to eat my daughter's fucking steak right out of her fucking
right off her plate. Have me put the bill for this fucking with marrying some Joe Schmoe probably crazy
That my dad my dad tried to flex on that at one point
He invited a guy real last minute to my sister's wedding real last minute like day of why I?
Think cuz he's like I'm you know put money up for this and this is a buddy of mine. He's coming when he's coming and
he
They were like had to find a chair my sister's like he sprung it on my sister like day of
Man, it's like yeah, Steve's gonna be here. Well my sister's like who the who is Steve has a real power move
You know what I mean? Don't worry. He's bringing his own dinner. Okay. He's there with a burger. It's got lunch box
Alright, let's see here
This one's from holy foley is it garbs to teach your kids how to do math by teaching them how to play blackjack
That kids gonna be counting car that kids gonna have a problem
Yeah, that's I would assume probably a decent amount of people
That's it's quick math. You gotta be teach you cards as a kid
We played we called it high low, but I think the other name would be like AC do see for it
Right, so it's like
What you're up to so it would be like you flip two cards
right and say it's like a
four and a jack
Okay, you would bet there's a pot going, like a cumulative pot of like everybody Annie's up.
And then if there's like a Jack and a four, I go, I'll bet 50 cents that the cards are going to come out.
You were betting?
Yeah. That was big.
I was talking about Old Maid or Go Fish or something like that or War.
No.
We'd go up to the Poconos and sit.
Parents are coming down and setting up the keynote table.
My mom's got the visor on and the rake fucking.
Seven's up everybody.
You got a $25 marker.
Hey the fat one's sitting at the table
with a gobbler in his hand.
He wants a $10,000 marker.
He's got a soft eight going.
What do you think?
You're going to your mom,
take this stiff throwing the cards back at her
Yeah, that was a big thing
We would I mean that we loved going up to the Poconos because we'd sit there the TV didn't work
Oh gambling operation and run a racket bookmaking and yeah, we played high low
You guys make moonshine up there too. Yeah still going
Get it going, baby
Yeah, it's the first time nice little cook operation up there in the Poconos.
They said I could have a sip of beer at New Year's Eve.
How old were you?
I was young.
Oh, real young.
A sip of beer?
No, I had a sip of beer young, not at New Year's Eve.
I was allowed to have a glass of champagne.
I forgot. It was a glass of champagne.
Let's get him to Manhattan, will you? I wonder why I got a problem. I was allowed to have a glass of champagne that's gonna happen wait what
am I gonna prize a lot of a glass of champagne and glass yeah you must have
been hammered I didn't like the champagne too many bubbles I still don't
like it I think that's what I don't like it now I didn't like the champagne so I
asked for something else and my stepdad gave me some of his Coors light La Bala de Plata. I wasn't driving
We were in the book a
Glasses a taste a sip a taste
Yeah, like a garbage onion aren't you?
Yeah. You're like a garbage onion, aren't you?
Look at you.
Yikes.
Yeah, AC, high, low.
That's still a great game to play.
That or what we've been playing a lot as a family when we get together is left, right,
center.
The dice game?
Yeah.
Play with a loaded handgun.
Dempsey's been playing that for like a decade.
That's a fun game, dude.
You get a bunch of ones out.
Everybody starts with three ones and it goes like 20 minutes. Are you guys betting land and stuff like that?
Oil futures I bet you the Vandy track
What I just got half an Ithaca, I wouldn't take your land if you gave it to me as a gift
It took me forever to get wrap my head around solitaire
I didn't learn how to play solitaire until I think I was in my 30s. Yeah, that's good to like understand it
I don't know what that means. What pretty just like matching
I never made any sense to me and I would see people playing like what the fuck are you doing?
You know what really reading tarot cards?
What's it say?
Am I gonna find love this year?
cards. What's it say? Am I going to find love this year?
I'm Miami Vice.
I never understood some computers because obviously I grew up with it on computers like it was on windows and stuff
like that. Sometimes when it would draw three cards, not the
one. How do I get to I got to I need the middle card.
Keep going around and around and around.
Fucking G. And then like. I would always cheat because you can go back. What's how do I get I got a bow? I need the middle card keep going around and around and around fucking G
And then like I would always cheat you know because you can go back
You can go back and
Take take you all Molly you can undo take a breakfast ball as they call sure and
Also, what you can do is like I think if you're playing with a man
I guess on a keypad as well, but with a mouse if you double right click it sends everything home that can go home does that make sense?
So like that's a hack too. We got into it. I forget was me and flip
I think flip was like crazy quick at it, and we would try to like start fucking beating each other really uh
Really killing it with the ladies at the time that in the gobbler
Falls lead midway through a game. Fucking cranberry sauce breath over here.
I don't know why these chicks aren't coming over, dude.
Girls don't like stuffing?
Keppy, this is blue chew, baby.
Oh, baby, I'm hard at the words blue and chew.
And we don't need no copy for this.
This stuff sells itself.
You know what I'm talking about?
Oh, yeah. You limp noodles out there.
Sure, I got it too.
You start to get to a certain age,
you need a little help, you guys start juicing a little bit.
Get the blood going down there.
Blue chew, sent right to your house, discrete packaging.
Nobody's gonna know what's going on.
So the neighbor, your super's not sniffing his nose around.
Hey buddy, kick rocks, I need help.
And sometimes you don't need help, I don't need help. But sometimes just sometimes just you know it's like swinging with two bats if you catch my is that what you do you like to go Superman?
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And we thank BlueChu for sponsoring a podcast. Yes, we do. This is from KJ Peterman
Is it garbage to call having the TV remote on DJ in the TV?
That's a good time.
Put on the electric slide. Well, I'm trying to boogie DJ in the remote, DJ the TV. That's pretty good. That's a dirt bag. That means you really feel in control. Sure. You're calling the shots. I'm setting the tone a lot of last channels on that boom right back to it
I remember I would get yelled at by my stepdad for uh
He would say you're not mashing the buttons the right way like you know so if it wasn't working
He would say mash you gotta mash the but mash the buttons. I would get yelled at for pressing them too hard
You're gonna break it just touch it man when that new controller came out
Well big John once those comcast once
you started getting the comcast from those days were like disposable you would
get you could get one every sure you know you every get one every new year
whatever so the new remotes came in that was a good time one thing we never we
were just we were not a technology family we were never able to do the
universal remote we were always a remote multi remote family and still are to this day.
Yeah, no.
You turn the TV on, the cable box and the TV remote never all spoke.
We would sometimes get the all power on the cable.
Sometimes that works, but when the TV gets left on and then all power turns the TV off.
Something weird.
Then you gotta go TV power.
Oh man, TV power. Start playing, then you gotta go TV powered. Oh man, TV powered.
Start playing solid there.
That never worked though, even at like the nicest houses
I went to as a kid. Really?
Never, no one could figure out the universal.
Yeah, dude. Tech wasn't there.
You mean like the- A third party remote.
You would go to Radio Shack, buy a universal remote
and then like-
Kinda find the code for the TV that you have
and get the manufacturer and the VIN number.
Get out of here.
I remember a kid telling me the first about it was the first
time I ever heard of a CD burner and he had a burnt CD.
I must have been seven years old.
I remember sitting on a desk going, who are you?
Like he's like, yeah, I'm like, how did you?
It sounded like he had like CIA level intelligence.
I go, how did you get this? He goes, I went to a computer store and my dad said he needed
it to to make copies of software and I was like what I'm like my dad would
never drive by a computer store let alone go in and lie to the guy yeah we
were just not a technology we We're still not, dude.
Still, if something gets broken, it just doesn't get fixed.
Patty's in the Verizon store every couple of days.
She went in the Verizon store to get her text messages to pin a thread.
That's right.
I remember that.
And dude, that's not just walk up.
Hey, what do you need?
You got to sign in the computer, wait in the queue.
Dude, those people must look at You gotta sign in the computer. Pull a number. Wait in the queue.
Dude, those people must look at her like she's an alien.
Well, dude, I was originally Sprint for a long time,
which is, you know.
Believe that?
This guy's running our company.
Sprint, man.
I was a Sprint that T-Mobile bought Sprint,
so I had to start going.
I thought Sprint was a soda for like five years.
Low cows. But whatever, they were the only ones So I had to start going. I thought Sprint was a soda for like five years. Locals.
But whatever, they were the only ones that would give me.
A credit and a phone that I didn't have to buy at that.
I don't have any fucking money.
I remember getting shut off all the time.
Yeah, and I would have to.
So I would go and then whatever.
So T-Mobile bought Sprint and now I have to I have to go to T-Mobile store
and it's gotten better.
But for the first like two years, you go in there and they go, what's your phone number?
They go, oh, you're a Sprint customer.
And they like put you in the shanty town.
They thought you're this real second class.
You got to go to the back alley.
Yeah.
It was like, go sit over there.
You go, it's like a bunch of lepers.
They're like, get off of me.
You know what I mean?
Go see Rusty in the oxygen mask.
Yeah.
You didn't get like the full, you know, they were like,
we'll get to you when we get to you.
Meanwhile, they're rolling the red carpet.
You're paying 83 cents a month.
They don't need you.
Hey, unlimited calls and texts after seven.
All right, let's see here.
Now, this is a pro move.
This is from Casey.
Is it garbage or you use toothpaste as spackle
on the drywall while you're painting?
Does that work?
Oh yeah, a little bit of Colgate, a little bit of white toothpaste.
You really, I mean, I'm no carpenter. You just need a little fucking, I mean it's not going to be perfect.
For what?
Like if you take a picture off a wall.
You're not doing a whole job with it.
No, that'd be a lot of fucking toothpaste.
Plus the place would smell like mint. I'd be pretty good. I would have to crack and fall off
You know I think if you're like patching a hole like not a hole
Like if you if you fucking be a little dad a painter a paint a painting hanging
There are a picture you take that off the screws there. You don't want this you take it you just
Pull it in I'm sure you sand it a little bit. Never knew that.
Never thought of that.
That gets you out of whatchamacallit's too.
You got to use white toothpaste, right?
Can't be doing aqua fresh.
Sparkling.
You got to do a that'll get you out of a stuck at your safety
deposit back to if you got a handful of too many blemishes.
I never had anybody withhold the safety deposit or the the
the that was called safety deposit security security
deposit. Yeah, never had anybody hold that my last department.
I got deducted.
I think a hundred and fifty bucks or fifty bucks.
That's just a scam different color walls.
They had to paint over that I get yeah, like I we painted the
bedroom.
I forget red or something for a while back in the day until I guess they clamped down on it or
Whatever I would just wouldn't pay the last month's rent
Really you have to security deposit. Nah, that's not how it works. All right. Well
It is now it is now but I don't know you listen toothpaste on the wall ain't mine either
I owe you 1500 bucks you have
$1,500 of mine or even we're even I'm not doing that bullshit Get the check in six weeks or come back and pick it up
Fuck that no, I'm with you dog
All right, let's see this one's from dragon these nuts, I don't think that's a legal name
My wife and I bought the floor model of a mattress. Oh
It's a tempur-pedic exclamation points bonus. The mattress also
has a vibrating massage feature. Whoa, dude. That's like that's do come with bed bugs.
I couldn't do I would be okay. I've gotten to the point where I'm cool. I would relatively
prefer the floor model save a couple of bucks on a TV or something like that. What about
the sneakers? What do you mean?
I don't like that.
The one sneaker?
I don't like that.
I, they're always a different.
The pair I'm wearing right now is that.
Really?
Yeah, the foot locker on 181.
He took them all, he, one of them was the,
I go, do you have these in a 10 and a half or whatever?
And he's like, I can only find the one.
Let me see the other.
And he was like, yeah.
I didn't feel great about it.
Loser.
And other people put their feet in there and stuff. They're like they're faded though. The ones usually faded. Uh-huh. There's like fingerprints all oils and stuff never
Never they get discount. I don't think so you suck. I know a bed is crazy
Everybody is late on that. That's the first thing you do in clothes. I'd rather you nude you're laying there in your street clothes
You might even fucking bricklayer coming in something to think about in the evening
I'm just saying you got some guy who's like, you know
Terminator. Yeah, all right. This is good. You know, you get a nice deal though. Fuck it. He's thrusting on it
I'd have to steam it. I'd have to do something to steam that up. Sure or
Treat it. I don't think our boy did.
Nah, I don't think we do.
But the massage features all right.
Also, what kind of freak are you?
That's a lot.
That's a heavy bed, too.
That's what I like.
Those Tempur-Pedics, plus the massage mechanism in there.
That's what Patty has in my room at her house.
It's her old. Spinal bed.
Her old mechanical bed. It's all the straps for old, her old mechanical bed.
It's all the straps from the inpatient
fucking mental institution.
He's strapping you down.
The gynecologist table.
For your night terrors.
Legs are up.
Yeah, they had a bed, a mechanical bed in their room,
and then put one in my room, and then they got a new one.
This thing weighs about seven tons.
I would, I know,, yeah, that's like yeah
That's like buying a car you keep that until yeah
She's still won't get rid of it because she's like I don't know how to get the hell get it out of there
Mm-hmm. You got plug it in
Plug the bed in I was at the unplug it plug my CPAP in when I sleep there now
How do you sleep?
But I would feel like I'd be sleeping on an iPhone charger like that that would there's too much electricity running through that
Yeah, I'd be able to feel that in my vent in my bones. I do wake up with short-term memory loss in the morning
Eight lobotomy's in the middle of the night open up your mouth the radio starts playing
You fucking wacko. That's crazy. You should be playing shadows permanently on the wall
You leave it so I can follow yeah, no that's fucking sleeping on an elephant foot. That's too much
I would love the for snoring purposes. I'm a bigger gentleman. I got you know I got breathing issues
I would
I would prefer have you heard him snore oh
Where do you where have you heard me?
Just all the rooms never like in the same room with you cuz you're pretty good And I got it so fucking bad, buddy
We're drinking
That is do we're out how you're getting a good night's sleep with that either. I am NOT
I'm up early drinking coffee
Okay, it's bad. I mean you're dying like every couple of minutes. That's not bad
Get a mask, baby. Now pop it up. It's getting better. I'm coming. I'm shedding a couple LB's it's getting better
You need that balloon up your nose that they do on Instagram
Looks like it. I'll plug this guy in I
Would need I would need the if I'm inclined a little bit
I'm not snoring remember you call me snoring on the plane
All right, I was snoring next to the guy and I don't apologize. I woke up so nice. Am I bad, dude my bed
He's like, it's alright man. I'll be so I'll be so I'll be right there sleeping with you
We were jammed up and you don't look good sleeping buddy. Not that I do. I look like an octopus on a runway
You don't look good sleeping buddy. Not that I do. I look like an octopus on a runway
I used to sleep. I used to sleep on the couch when I live with my boy and
Not like I would sleep. I we both it was a two-bedroom We each had a room but a lot I like getting you know fall
I'd like falling asleep on a cow no man over 35 if you got a little bit of weight on unless you're unless you're Brad Pitt
You do not look good sleeping on a couch
uh
No, and my buddy would go he'd call it a
Low he'd be like you get real Lomo. I might have my one leg off. So L. Oh leg off mouth open
I'd have my one foot on the ground head back tucked in the corner dude
Fucking mouth open catching flies. He, you get Lomo real quick.
I like to go the other way, face into the couch, and whip the leg over the back of the
couch. Ah, that's wild.
It's like you're getting a fucking colonoscopy or something. That's crazy.
Ah, it feels so good. I like facing out. I like, dude, if there's
Face out your arm, though get you get it with the arm
My arm falls asleep all the time now. I'm doing a bit on this get out of here. Are you yeah, you know I am
Oh, are you yeah fucking stealing my fucking bits and doing I'm on the put you're burning my bits on the podcast
I got a lot of dumb Italian friends
As a good bit that is a good bit. I didn't think of it
friends has a good bit that is a good bit I didn't think of it
My wife's German
Fuck I like I like being out I like facing out but that I gotta have the TV on because if not the monsters get you of course
But I don't like the light then facing me so I'll do a sleep mask from time to time
But you tuck in your head back in a corner of a cold couch.
Yeah, it feels like friends leather couch.
That's where I get my best sleep.
So she's out of town.
I'll sleep on the couch.
Your tongue's just sandpaper the next day.
And I'm brutal.
I've snored so bad that the little ball swells up.
The little ball. Yeah.
A little ball. Uvula. Really?
Yeah. Well, the punching bag in the back of your mouth.
Yeah. Really snored. So I snored so bad and so long that that swells up
I don't feel it starts choking you so you gotta lean forward a little bit
You gotta keep it an angle and I drink very cold water to try to shrink it up talk about a hot
My wife's lucky gal. I mean you feel is filling up
So swole dog What do you want from me?
Huh? Go to a pulmonologist. That's what I want from you. Get checked out. Get a pap.
Or get that thing that they're putting in people now. No way. You're nuts. You talk
about putting a fucking neurolink in me? just to stop so it ain't that serious
I don't trust those things as far as I can throw them get this get this surgery
You know you they know where you are. They probably have a they probably have a kill switch on that. Oh, yeah
Like it turn you off shoulder blows start asking why you're paying so much in taxes. They fucking root root fucking pull your card, dude
No way am I signing up to put anything in me come plug you from the matrix
Okay, have you walking out in the desert dude, just just take over your body like men in black
Jesus Christ all right, let's see here
This one's from Heath Bori
$10 homie Oh
Crude, but have you ever been caught masturbating by someone outside the house? I was on I live on the third floor. I was doing my business
I look out the window and on the roof was a direct TV worker putting a dish on the roof looking at me, dude
That's bad. That's bad on the direct TV guys working
Yeah, I'm just saying you don't watch. You would look.
You take a peek, but then you turn away.
Maybe it was, I'm looking.
If I do my business in the living room, I pull the shades down and do one blanket over me.
Do one of the couch blankets over me.
You put a blanket over you when you're at your house like that?
Yeah, for that exact reason.
Even with the blinds closed?
Yeah, I feel like, because it's a sun blind. I feel like I'd get in trouble for that exact reason with the blinds closed. Yeah, I feel like cuz it's it's it's a sun blind
I feel like I get you get in trouble for that
Private property you're good. Yeah. Yeah, and you're off with the windows anything you do on your property, baby, huh?
Okay, good that I don't know if you live next to a school though next show at 8 o'clock tonight
Bye come see the fireworks welcome anytime
Next show at 8 o'clock tonight. Come by come see the fireworks welcome anytime
Yeah, it's a red light going. That's pretty jammed up open for business I don't think I'm very conscious of that obviously my body ain't great
You know what I mean, so I'm not like you got the duct tape on the laptop computer of course your guy
Guys locked in I mean that's I have that on my computer at home. That's I just yeah
They can look at your phone too.
That ain't good.
I know. You got to cover that camera too.
I mean, hey, if you're you, you know,
you want to take a peek, take a peek.
Yeah, what am I going to do?
Where is your business normally conducted in the home?
Um, what?
Uh, I'm in the Uh, I don't.
In the apartment.
I don't do it that much.
When you do.
Lie to me.
I'm dumb.
Bastard.
On the couch, like I like my like catching my Z's.
Kitchen?
No.
Tool shed.
Starbucks down a block.
Ummm.
No, it depends. Couch or shower.
Sure. It's standard.
Standard operating procedure. Bed.
I like the bed.
Oh, you little freak.
This guy's really opening up, huh?
Gets a little camera time.
He starts turning into a real pervert.
It's a Tempur-Pedic. Let them get to know the real Luke
Okay
All right, let's see here this one's from Barry Barry McCaulkin or
$5 homie is
It garbage to park in the back of a crowded Walmart parking lot and swap windshield wipers with the newest vehicle
You can find when your wipers get worn
bastard
Listen I kiss me fuck that I kind of respect. I don't respect it, but like have you ever changed your windshield wipers?
Yeah, I used to do that all the time on ever. I've never changed my windshield wipers ever dude
Oh the one on the the one my last one on uh You get those double stacks, the fat ones with the different color
well, you know, all your call your past handful of cars have been leased.
So you just turn them in and they, you know, you're getting a brand new set
that'll last couple of years. Yeah.
Dude, the loom, the one on the loom, it was off half off
and it would it would hang like a like a rat tail dreadlock.
You know what I mean?
It would just flip was man. Just does the top of the window. It was yeah
My buddy had a car where he was missing the one on the passenger side
Just rolled on rolled it. Yeah, and when it was raining, that's like
It was like a cat burglar scratching out the window to speak. I bet
I've always been into most of my cars. I'm like I got to go heavy cuz they're never good and think to me that is such a obvious
I'm just like if they're 50 bucks whatever it was I was like I don't have that money to sink into this for a thing
I might need next week. You know what's great. I'm gonna told you before Rainex put a little rain X on the windshield
Sure, I don't know what that shit's made of but man does that work
Do you ever get in the back of a car where they've all marreled the floors?
fucking ice skates I'm saying I'm like buddy That shit's made of but man does that work? Do you ever get in the back of a car where they've all marled the floors? Fucking ice-skating
Ubers all the time. That's what I'm saying. I'm like buddy. What do you do? It's like at the back of a Camry
We don't need dude, and you're like bacon grease on the floor. You're slipping all over the place. Yeah, it's no good
Yeah, hate it danger
I remember I got yelled at for I armor old the floor of a golf car when I was working at the country club
Fucking kill somebody
That's what he said somebody but too much armor on his floor. Mr. Silverstein's in traction. He's flipped over to bunker
I'm not an armor all guy. I think it's too. It's too greasy. It never goes away
You should stay with the spray or whatever like wherever it goes on heavy you end up seeing that now
No good not an armor all guy not a turtle wax now
We're talking much speaking my language, but didn't turtle wax like I don't know what it did
They fucked they fucked what previous I want to think is maybe Santino's dad worked for turtle wax
I got fired or so I want to say somebody recently said sound familiar, and they were like fuck turtle
I just like the package. I never knew what that was show. There was a long time
I was for the outside of the I thought that was for animals like I just didn't know we I never knew what that was. There was a long time. I was for the outside of the car.
I thought that was for animals.
Like I just didn't know we were not a turtle.
X family. And it just it sounds like it's for shine your bird.
And I always thought it was like the magic shell stuff
because they had a magic show, you know, like the ice cream where it hardens.
Never got it.
Did you get that as a kid? Yeah. Yeah.
You fucking bastard.
Also, hold on. Let me put a little pin.
He's a younger gentleman. That was more acceptable than getting your hands on that in the 80s
It was in the grocery store in the 80s. It was like 30, but yeah, that's what I'm saying
It's probably 499 when he got supply and demand baby must do he was eating that in
2012 not 1984 in the 80s. It was probably just Teflon or something like that. There's probably turtle wax.
Probably just rebranded it, keep it moving.
I remember for a while I was jammed up and I got somehow.
I never we never had it.
And I was in the grocery store.
I'm getting it.
I think I was in my 30s.
And I would just put it on a plate in the in the freezer and eat it,
like eat it like a chocolate bar kind of.
That's fucking nuts not no ice cream needed
Just fucking free base in it. I thought that was the greatest thing ever when I was a kid we never yeah now
Never that never happened on Hershey's syrup we I was it I think I've told you this but there was one time if remember
Super fresh was the place we shopped at and they would do a bought ten for ten
Acme did it too. Like you bought an
America's choice chocolate syrup. Wait ten for ten. That's just full price
No, they were ten for ten dollars. Yeah, well, they were they had a surplus of units. They were if you bite then you pay for ten
Hey coming down here
job and Denise bought ten I mean if you bite then you paper then hey come down here screw job
And Denise bought ten
Packs of America's Choice chocolate Sarah talk about no light at the end of the tunnel ruined five summers, dude
It ruined five years of my life this shit stunk
It was it was look like it looked like the hex on Valdez everybody. It looked like an oil spill dude
It was brutal. It didn't make it didn't it just sat on top of the ice cream
You couldn't mix it in this stuff. Don't break down like alien blood forever plastics, dude. It was yeah
Jammed up, but we got to wrap it up gang. Oh man. What a fun one. Yes gang. We love you to death
What do we got coming up here? We got route 66 gang tickets for that are moving. We're starting Chicago. We have Tulsa, Oklahoma City Albuquerque
Where else flagstaff
Chicago get all your tickets everything's available at are you garbage comm get those tickets
We want to see you out there also a little bit little bit of insight in that. We got a fucking crew coming out.
We're shooting the whole thing.
We're going to do a little...
Come be a part of it, gang.
A lot of behind the scenes.
We're going to be shooting every show.
We're going to put it all together
and make one big fun project, gang.
We want to see you out there. We love yous.
Gang, we love you. See you next week. Peace.