Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - Wawa Fights w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: March 18, 2024

Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live ...show! Through the Roof Tour Tickets: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://areyougarbage.com/ PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Fum: https://www.tryfum.com/garbage Promo Code: garbage True Classic: https://www.trueclassic.com/garbage Code: Garbage Ladder Life: https://www.LadderLife.com/GARBAGE Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey gang, my half hour comedy special is available right now on the RU Garbage YouTube page. Check it out. You're out there drinking IPAs, be careful. I did the research. There's up to 350 calories in an IPA. That's the equivalent of one bologna sandwich. That's crazy. That means I go to the bar on the weekend and eat 13 bologna sandwiches.
Starting point is 00:00:22 And then I walk out at 3 a.m. like, who wants pizza, huh? Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R U Garbage. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:00:52 It's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians and we find that to go to be classy. Yeah. Or to just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tooties in a new edition. She's out in the garage. She has a plethora of old cable boxes. Okay, so maybe a market for I don't know Where's she got a man? Remember how those things?
Starting point is 00:01:17 Those things were like gold back in the day to get your hands on one of them off market that some what's it ether cable? What's it called? Ethernet. Ethernet. Ether cable. See when your boy is smoking ether. Huffin Cleanser. Huffin Rags, dude. Huffin Rags. My co-host coming at you from across the table. He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He's an international businessman and he's got a brand new special out right now right below this on the old YouTube page.
Starting point is 00:01:46 Check it out. Live from Philly. Give it up for KJ, Kevin, James, Ryan. Hometown boy makes good. Let's go. Kid's got a hot one over there. 12 on your D theater. He packs them out.
Starting point is 00:01:58 What's up, gang? Shout out to you. Thanks for all the love and support. We appreciate you. First of all, if you haven't already, go over to Rate Review Subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. As you know, those numbers are true to Rope Cooking, baby. We love the community over there on YouTube.
Starting point is 00:02:11 And then obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com slash RUgarbage. You go over there, you get sign up, you get up to two bajillion hours worth of content. And then you can go over to RUgarbage.com and get live show tickets. Get some techies. And if you've seen Foley's half hour special, you see see mine half-hour special, that's where you get on the road.
Starting point is 00:02:28 You throw in some fucking T-Bone, you throw in some Tom Cassidy, and you throw in some AYG with the fucking crowd at the end of the show. It's a goddamn barn burner, boys. It's a good time. If you haven't seen the clips or our specials or anything, the fucking live shows are a good time. Check them out. Charlotte, Nashville, Tampa, Atlanta. First up on the docket. Come out and see the boys. Congrats on the special. Thank you, buddy. Thank you very much. And congrats to our producer extraordinaire.
Starting point is 00:02:52 The Magic Man makes us all look good. Works the ones that do the threes and the fours. Director extraordinaire. Killed at the Oscars this year. Give it up for T-Bone Extroffins. Toby McGovern, everybody. What's up, dude? Look at you.
Starting point is 00:03:04 I'm letting it go straight to my head,ffins, Toby McClellan everybody. What's up, dude? Look at you. I'm letting it go straight to my head, dude. I'm bossing Luke around. I'm being a real dick to cab drivers. I saw the dailies on that thing. You really used me as a test market, didn't you? Really fine-tuned the process. Holy shit.
Starting point is 00:03:18 That's all, Toby. I had nothing to do with it. Don't start calling me beta. Toby, is that right? Is that what they do with the beta? Yeah, beta beta tester. Uh Toby sets up all the cams the guy I mean listen Toby does it's kind of crazy Toby does What like crews of people and people pay like tens of thousands of dollars after their specials filmed? T-bone just running gun him and Luke running gun, they do it all, they set it all up,
Starting point is 00:03:45 it's just them two, fucking bada bing bada boom, ain't got no fucking- Both of them back there ripping vapes. I know, yeah. Getting the smoke effect. You can see the fog rolling through some of the wide shots. Every once in a while you hear, what's up dude? Oh, what's up dude?
Starting point is 00:03:58 Can I grab a club soda, bro? What a line, please. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you forgot about Foley really gumming up the works. Oh, man, Foley. Everybody plays their role. I would go back there in the green room and throw a little grenade every once in a while.
Starting point is 00:04:12 Stress everybody out. During the editing process, I go, am I a producer on this? I turn around and he's ordering Domino's. Hey, you were grateful for that, Anthony. Which I appreciate. I also had a couple tequila and sodas. I also got drunk and said mean things to your wife What?
Starting point is 00:04:29 Me out Congratulations to both of you Yours is yours fucking cooking it. Everything's fantastic. I love the fucking squad It's a real bootstrapped organization a great job. And again, I've said, I love how we did it, how you have the club. HBO said no. Netflix said no. Can't have. We didn't ask.
Starting point is 00:04:49 We didn't even ask. Don't put yourself in a position to have stuff taken away from you. You asked the Verizon guy when he showed up. But you got broad band here. You know what would be over there at Macs? You sound like a dad telling his son why you buy used cars. He's like, they can't take away used car Yeah, exactly exactly. I paid cash for this motherfucker
Starting point is 00:05:12 Get off my lawn see that tow truck ride to the neighborhood everyone starts getting my special gets repudged God shout out to the also I mean like all of this couldn't be done without the fucking army of garbage. You guys are fucking- Being the greatest ever, the army of garbage? It's, I mean like, the way they fucking show up, the shares, the fucking, everything's fucking, the outpouring of positive, it's, you guys are the fucking best.
Starting point is 00:05:38 The best. And you hear it from all the guests that we have on the show, we'll bump into a comic after they've done the show like a month or two ago, they go, I was just in fucking Seattle and they come up and they go can army garbage you guys are the fucking literally the fucking best the best love you um what was that flashback of being in a drive-thru you're trying to catch a fly that wasn't there. There was a pigeon on the window before too. I didn't like that either. There's fibers floating in the air. Yikes. That's how it starts. Why? Speaking of crazy, and speaking of our good pal Tommy C, Tommy Cat Daddy Cassidy, he was always on the road with us. He brought something up to me today that I thought that is only a trashy thing that people say or or or buy into first warm day.
Starting point is 00:06:30 All the crazies are out. It's true. Is it? That's like the full moon thing. It's a full moon tonight. It's going to be a crazy night. I think that he said the same thing. He's like he's a guy was the first warm day.
Starting point is 00:06:41 Everybody's out. I have heard that somebody got stabbed somewhere like that in the first warm day. Everybody's out. I have heard the thing about somebody got stabbed somewhere or something like that in his neighborhood. Somebody blew their brains out. Oh, it's finally shorts and glocksies. Yeah. Shorts and kitchen knives. I think it's one of the things of it is nicer outside.
Starting point is 00:06:57 So more people are outside, hence more crazy people are outside. You're outside. You witness it. You see it. That's a real patty-ism. But I think the full moon thing, I remember my aunt worked in the ER for a very long time
Starting point is 00:07:09 and she said full. A lot of werewolves. God damn it. Toby's getting good. It beat me to it. Like an old man's getting fucking slow off the line over here, huh biggie? A lot of Frankensteins, huh?
Starting point is 00:07:20 Damn. Not bad, D.V. Must've been a hard shit with the mummy run around but she said You really are a folio One toke over the line. No, I knew what I was doing. She said uh Every fucking full moon of the fucking ERS were fucking packed Can you see if there is any there there's gotta, I mean, the moon controls the tide. There's gotta be some blood pressure thing at least.
Starting point is 00:07:49 Maybe. It gets you a little loopy or something. I just saw a graphic how the moon controls the tides. Like it had a little planet with little waves on it and the thing going around. It's really crazy. I never understood, I remember, I never understood what made the waves. It was like a young, as a I never understood. I remember I never understood
Starting point is 00:08:05 what made the way. This is like a young is as a wee man. But I remember my buddy was belly flopping into a pool. My buddy thought it was done by boats. And I was like, there's not that many traffic. There's not that many boats. And he's like, well, then what is it? I go, I don't know. But it's not both. It's the mermaid's horsing around I don't know what it is They told us that we were kids about the thunder and lightning God bowling or something. Yeah bowling bowling in heaven Oh, yeah, real trashy spot up there going for a third. That's what they're doing You got the get the big dogs. It's Tuesday nights. It's dollar games
Starting point is 00:08:43 Must be a league night really coming down out there. I've said this before, but my favorite fucking in between, I would go back home in college summers. Uh huh. Uh, what was it? The Brunswick zone or what? A Brunswick zone lanes. The bowling alley, man. On Tuesday. I thought it was a weather thing. No, on Tuesday. I caught in a Brunswick zone. Low pressure brings out the Brunswick zone.
Starting point is 00:09:06 High two page flying off. Bunch of Jersey fives running around. It was dollar beers and dollar games, I believe, on Tuesday nights. Hoo-wee! Go in there and get it. That's just fight night. Oh, man, you'd be ossified.
Starting point is 00:09:18 I do like a bowling alley. I'll tell you that. Be slipping in those shoes and stuff. I played not that long ago, and I usually hated it. But the round went by real quick. It's good when you're hitting them. When you stink, it's no fun. Yeah, it's no fun.
Starting point is 00:09:32 When you're, when you're, when you're, when you're fucking, when you're locked in. Yeah. Shots tonight. Shotting them down. I got you on the full moon crime rate. Okay. Multiple studies.
Starting point is 00:09:46 It's a popular idea that the lunar effect has an effect on crime rates, but the results have been inconclusive. Those studies, none of them are real. Of course. But here's my question to you. When you hear inconclusive results, does your brain go the good option
Starting point is 00:10:02 or the bad option? I go, it depends what, if it's like a blood test, I got it. You know what I mean? If it's this in my head, I go, well, they didn't do the right research. If I got inconclusive on like a stress test or an EKG, oh my God, I'd be playing in the beef and beer. Done. I can't have it. I got high cholesterol. I just I just found out. No. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:26 Triglyceride. Harry over there. That was a stretch. Still worked out. Oh, yeah. I got a high cholesterol. Not super high borderline high to high. Did they say they want you to go see a cardiologist or anything like that? I just said diet and exercise. OK. Well, so talk about it. So a death sentence, huh? Did they say they want you to go see a cardiologist or anything like that? No, I just said diet and exercise. Okay.
Starting point is 00:10:45 Well, so in three months... Talk about inclusive. So with death sentence, huh, Doc? So in three months, I'll see that, Doc. Well, we gave it a shot, Doc. I had a good run. Also... Got a gun on you?
Starting point is 00:10:57 You know, I didn't know... I knew heaters weren't good for you. Do you know they increase your fucking cholesterol? Yeah. I'm screwed! They're bad. I got off the red meat and turned on the heaters I didn't know I was just doubling down there bad the red meat doesn't that that's all right Uh, I don't think so now now no red meats no good
Starting point is 00:11:14 They gotta make up their minds about this shit eggs are good eggs are bad. What's the deal? I don't know it's all fucking marketing man it's all bullshit yeah it was all you know tall scam also have me in fucking 11 servings of bread every day why struck out in junior high they did the food pyramid based on you I thought was the study I thought I was going to be the fucking toughest kid in junior high I'm over there eating
Starting point is 00:11:42 fucking 11 bagels a day. Turns out dinner rolls slow you down. It's a lot of carbs. Have you guys had the little miniature bagel, they're almost like donut holes from Dunkin' Donuts with the cream cheese on the inside? Ooh, no. Maybe the greatest new product to hit the market food-wise. No kidding, I can get down on that.
Starting point is 00:11:59 Unbelievable, toasty, warm, gooey in the middle. I'm very anti-Duncan in New York. The Dunkins in New York are fucking horrible. Dunkins in the burbs. Forget about it. And let me tell you something. I remember what I wanted to ask you guys. What?
Starting point is 00:12:16 Did you guys know that Dunkin' does extra large coffee? It was a Dunkin' Donuts thing? Yeah. That's crazy. Unbelievable. This guy's locked in. I know. Did you guys know they did extra large coffees? Yeah, I Had no idea. I think everywhere. It does
Starting point is 00:12:29 No, no, no Starbucks doesn't do an extra large. Yeah, they do venti's yeah venti dog. That's a that's a large no The small they do a small medium and large they do it's big. Well, how big it? What are you talking like a big gulp? It's massive. It's the biggest guy I've ever seen I've seen Ben Affleck walk around Grande this is like a this is like a bad bit for the night early 2000 as Small is 12 a medium. No Because there's three options. It's tall whatever and venti tall grande eventi
Starting point is 00:13:03 Okay, small medium large Duncan's got a fourth option oh I did I doubt that was my whole thing I would do extra large extra extra that extra cream extra sugar that's enough coffee for everybody on the job site you wonder why you call it's a roll wonder why my hair's falling guys have this guy's half F&F that's a quarter half this guy's three-eighths half I'll say this about the good everywhere but that's not everywhere has extra large every that's not true you're rarely getting large pizzas you get extra everything get extra like I get a lot
Starting point is 00:13:34 actually thought this was gonna stun us yeah that's crazy I had no idea also you're not sitting I have been ordering if they got extra large on the menu I ain't order but I'm saying it's a rarity. Extra large pizza, I'll give you, but everywhere else, there's nothing extra large. That's as crazy. Why is that crazy? This is crazy that you're blowing your mind. Yeah. They got rid of it everywhere.
Starting point is 00:13:53 They got rid of the super size. That was the McDonald's extra large. That was a mistake. Yeah. Man, they were all right. What they should have done. Which I've been tied up in litigation about for years. What they should have done,
Starting point is 00:14:04 and which I still think they should do at Mickey D's and stuff like that, is you should be able to have options. You can get the large, but you don't have to get the large fry. You should be, each item should be medium or large. Oh, do a medium, that's a small that. Yeah, because I would do a medium soda and a large fry, if I could. Okay. Because my girl doesn't finish hers, I get the rest of that. I mean, McDonald's the rest of that.
Starting point is 00:14:26 I mean McDonald's has extra large coffee. Really? Yeah. Medium, small, large, extra large. You're nuts. Why don't you unplug from Fortnite for a couple of minutes and step out there in the real world. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'd play. Get some of my fucking boots on the ground. Take the VR headset off. I play Call of Duty. Ranked. Hit me up. Are you?
Starting point is 00:14:42 Oh yeah. In the world? No. Ranked in what? It's like a mode. It's like a competitive mode where you rank and you work your way up. What's your number? Not great. Lay it out there. I was in the top 20% of players last year. In the world? He's fudging the numbers. He's giving you the political numbers. In the world? People who play that game, yeah. He's really backpedaling. Of people who have ever seen an Xbox, sure. With long reddish curly hair. It's not as impressive as it sounds This is what I wanted to tell you Duncan Donuts does not get enough credit for the for the innovation
Starting point is 00:15:12 Because that's pretty crazy with the bagels and the cream cheese inside Question is how are they? I'm a little shocked it took them that long to think of that It's pretty good. They got the little munchkins with the they're right there They got the donuts with the cream in them They got the munchkin just it's been in front of their face the whole time. Probably the goddamn FDA. There's few things, movies, bands, et cetera, et cetera, that have second lives the way the munchkins did.
Starting point is 00:15:33 Because I remember when they hit, when I was a kid, they were huge. Everybody was rolling in. And then when you guys were kids, they really came back with that. That became the go-to. Instead of moms making cupcakes, sorry to cut you off, it was you showed up with the thing of munchkins. Oh chocolate of course. Elementary school with the box of munchkins, you went
Starting point is 00:15:53 around and gave everyone in your class on the desk and then we were allowed to go to like give them to our favorite teachers or whoever. Like I'm gonna go give one to the gym. That was a great way to get out of class for ten minutes. Yeah, I was just eating a couple of munchkins. I was eating them like fucking tic tac. That's just Kipi smoking cigs and eating donuts while in the gym. I'm cleaning out the door. How many munchkins was a serving for a child of your stature? Three?
Starting point is 00:16:17 This is where I'm bad. What would you be happy with? No, this is why I'm a fat ass and I still do this. Things of that small, I don't add them up. That's not like, that doesn't even qual, if I were to eat 20 munchkins and then you were like, we're gonna go get breakfast, I'd go, yeah. Cause that's not, I don't, so there is no-
Starting point is 00:16:39 That's an appetizer. There's no number that'll fill me cause mentally it's, I'm taking an aspirin. You know what I mean? They should make one big munchkin. That would be cool. It's called a donut. No Fucking idiot do it in a ball form a big like a softball sized munchkin big munchkins extra large munchins to go with the extra Large coffee cut that set up a meeting Get Matt Damon on the phone. He knows that Ben Affleck
Starting point is 00:17:04 Yeah, big Duncan guy. Yeah, that Ben Affleck. Big Duncan guy. Yeah, I mean, yeah. I gotta go the dark roast at Duncan. But I love Duncan. Duncan and 7-Elevens have slipped in most metropolitan areas. You go out there in the burbs, they're nice. Everything's nicer in the burbs, baby. You ain't lying. Everything's sweeter out there. 7-Eleven and another organization with an extra large. They're you know everything's nicer in the burbs, baby. You ain't lying everything sweeter out there 7-eleven another organization with an extra-large I got the extra-large. This is what you're not I thought in my head almost everybody's we're head
Starting point is 00:17:32 No, I'm saying the extra-large is a thing of the past for the most part. I think I don't think so well I'll give you that maybe there's no more three liters Exactly, I guess I'm sure you can get your hands on three liters. If you look at McDonald's large soda, that's really an extra large. They're huge. If any cup has the thing that goes out... Because the ass of it doesn't fit in the cup holder? That thing's got junk in the trunk.
Starting point is 00:18:01 That's an extra large to me. I like my sodas with a dumper on them. Yeah. Hey gang, a quick word from Fume. Breaking a bad habit is hard. We all have routines that are ingrained in our brains and choosing to do something else can really suck. Fume can help you with that.
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Starting point is 00:20:30 If your soda has a muffin top. Oh man, I was at a wah-wah this morning out in the burbs. Sure. Man, I saw, and obviously I got the bad news of the high cholesterol back, so I'm eating a little better. I went there to get some eggies and a coffee. Uh-huh. Pick up a dozen get some eggies and a coffee. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:20:45 Pick up a dozen eggs and a coffee and a coffee. Wait, hold on, you bought eggs for the house at Wawa? Yeah. Ooh. What? Yikes. The closest thing. It's a widow shit.
Starting point is 00:20:55 My mom does that. Buy a half a dozen over there. No, Wawa. She'll take some Lucy's. I just need three. I'm two eggs short from an omelet, Duds. Yeah, you buy eggs at Wawa. I just need three. I'm too egg-short from an omelet, Tuts. Yeah, you buy eggs at Wawa.
Starting point is 00:21:11 Just because it's a one-stop shop. You got to also think the burbs. It's not like I can, I mean I got to get in the car then drive fucking, you know, ten minutes to a grocery store, park, go in, you know. It's not like that's just like I'm... See that's where you and I, growing up, that's where we grew up differently is that we'd never You used Wawa as a grocery store. We never used Wawa's or eggs I've never I've never gotten like a pound of lunch meat at Wawa. I know you have oh, yeah I know I'm gonna fight with the guy at the fucking at the one Wawa man And I had a matchbook under the scale. This is the first this is the first time I Heard in real life. Well, let me talk to your manager. The guy was like, I'm the manager
Starting point is 00:21:53 I thought he hit your mom with that. No, she was like, let me talk to you. There's some something was happening I don't know. Maybe he wasn't slicing the things and it takes a lot for her to go She's not the she's not the one to publicly, like, you know, Irish Catholic. You sit there, you eat the shit, and you go home and complain dog shit about him. Yeah, she come back later at night and wet you. Get him when he's taking out the trash. Not so tough are you now, Shaggy?
Starting point is 00:22:18 She gets one look around at the cameras and just walks out politely. Yeah, shows up on a tracksuit late night. Yeah, no, we would do lunch meet there, but never never that was like in a pinch lunch meat in a pinch if she wasn't doing a full order I don't know what it would have took for Patty to buy lunch meat it was the same shit I think it was all land of lakes or whatever you were banging back as before boars head cornered the market it's true but Starbucks has shit you found it I was looking at I was yeah
Starting point is 00:22:42 they have fucking six sizes they have have five sizes. Short, tall, grande, venti-trenta. Yeah. Yeah. They actually have a demi too, which is three ounces for the ladies. For if you want to feel like you got big hands. Do you do a pup cup when you go to Starbucks for the doogie? You're starting to? I will... That's the goddamn cutest thing I've ever seen in my life.
Starting point is 00:23:06 It's the greatest! Any place that has a pup cup, let's go. But he freaks out. If we turn the corner and he knows I'm going into Beezys, he gets fuckin' real fuckin', you can't tell him shit. He needs his fix, Daddy-o. Uh, yeah, I'll do him every, not too much, but yeah, from time to time, he's got high cholesterol.
Starting point is 00:23:23 Does he? He does. He does. He runs into family. Goddamn bad genes I got. Not too much, but yeah from time to time he's got high cholesterol Runs in the family Goddamn bad genes. I got I wonder if you can tell if a dog has high cholesterol. Oh, yeah, I think so How would they get high cholesterol though? You know little piece of lunch mean like bacon and shit sure you were feeding you were feeding them fucking prosciutto in here something the one day oh yeah, he went home and threw up looks a little more to in prosciutto in here or something the one day. Oh yeah. And he went home and threw up.
Starting point is 00:23:44 It looks a little morta- That one. Morta-tay's got a little pang in him. I don't even pay it. One of the cutest videos ever on the internet is a little kitten getting a pup cup and just stuffing its whole face in. It comes out covered in white.
Starting point is 00:23:56 Looked like Foley in 2003. Yeah. Yeah. Out of drugs, yeah. Just gonna say I wasn't on whipped cream back then. I was on the end of the can. That's a real choose your own adventure. That could be fat or drugs.
Starting point is 00:24:08 Sure. Sure. Didn't enjoy a whip in my day. Uh-huh. Fair enough. You hear that, guys? Gay, that's either here nor there. My drug history is not to be put on trial here.
Starting point is 00:24:19 We're here for what we like to call a little family episode. Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies. As you know, when you sign up for the old Patreon, you can have a question read on the air with me the boys the bozos and the homies as you know when you sign up For the old patreon you can have a question read on here with me kepparino and the t-bone mm-hmm Shout out to that mother for all the fucking homies and bozos out there So here we go. Let's get into it. We got a lot to get through here I got a $10 homie never have one red Is it garbage that the way your dad taught you how to defend yourself is straight out of Roadhouse
Starting point is 00:24:45 Recently rewatched and even used the same line Your mom's got a got a boot knife Does that not seem that was the worst who the hell was going in there talk about going in for a casual Go hit the Applebee's or something where you're not going to get roughed up. Some guy going at your larynx. That's your first move? I was late, obviously. What year would you say Roadhouse was?
Starting point is 00:25:12 Probably 86 or something like that. I think it nailed it. I want to say 88. I mean, I was too young to watch it. Like, I caught it. 89. 89, there you go. I had known it as, not a joke,
Starting point is 00:25:23 but like you would hear it was, places like Roadhouse, before I had ever even seen it. And then I had known it as not the not a joke, but like you would hear it was places like Roadhouse like I'm before I had ever even seen it and then I probably watched it Probably in college like fully you would see scenes, but like fully through I crushed in college man That gets real kooky like burning down houses and like crushing cars with a monster truck. I could remember Yeah, what was the guy's deal? He wanted to take over the town? I don't know what the bar had to do with it But yeah, he like he had like in like a Like a squad of goons that which is like killing people
Starting point is 00:25:49 They were like murdering fucking murdering people and said buildings on fire like no one cared over a bar I hope the first move that dude's dad taught him Throat out all because they're like don't fight in here. He's like well burn this down Shout out to Sam Elliott. Maybe it was something else. But that was, I loved it. I mean, it is the perfect amount of cheesy. It's the perfect amount of.
Starting point is 00:26:11 Swayze, baby. Yeah, Swayze is. I caught a look at that dirty dancing a few weeks ago because the lady was watching it. Mm-hmm. Man, that's a movie and a half right there. It's all right. Again, never.
Starting point is 00:26:23 Really? I'd seen it. A young Jerry Orbach? I remember my sister watching it. Like, well, they're watching it, they were like, whatever, it was like on TV, on like TBS or something, you know what I mean? Yeah, it's the way he's got that tight little body back there.
Starting point is 00:26:37 Tight. And Jennifer Grey. Love her. You know what we're talking about? Oh yeah. Are you still thinking about the extra large thing? I'm still trying to get your head around that. It's not common. You know what we're talking about? Oh yeah. Are you still thinking about the extra large thing? Hahahaha! Still trying to get your head around that. It's not common!
Starting point is 00:26:49 It's the, it's insane, it's the, it's crazy. Everywhere has an extra large almost of everything. That's, that's wild. What about the movies? I'll give you this. Do you remember for a minute at the movies what the extra large was? It was a bucket of, it was a popcorn bucket. Do you remember that? Maybe it was only in our area.
Starting point is 00:27:12 I could've sworn it was like... Like you would take home and you could use like, you could like mop with? No, they just kept that around for you. No, dude. I remember for a minute... It was a big cardboard bucket. At AMC or Regal. Yeah. It was, it was, but no, it was one of the round popcorn buckets that was a soda.
Starting point is 00:27:29 You had to hold it with two hands. Was it the popcorn or was it the soda? It was the soda. It was ridiculously big. It was like a bucket of soda. That goes back, when I, it goes back to the Wawa this morning, the guy, oh man, I was so jealous. Apparently, they brought, Wawa brought back like the guy, oh man, I was so jealous. Apparently, Wawa brought back the waffle breakfasts, Lee's.
Starting point is 00:27:48 So it's like, instead of the griddle, like the McGriddle of the pancake, this is more of a waffle, like it's a- Which I respect. It's a bacon, egg, and cheese with waffle top and bottom. Man, this guy, this guy, man, this guy, you can hear him getting fatter in front of me. He got that.
Starting point is 00:28:07 He got two of those and two Dr. Peppers for breakfast. Man, what's that A1C doing? Oh, man. He was struggling. He was a construction worker too. I don't know. It must've been a union delegate or something.
Starting point is 00:28:23 He's no good after lunch. I'll tell you that. That guy's blood sugar is in the basement. Well when I worked for my family's construction company, we were never allowed to take lunch because of that. It was always the worst idea. He goes, my dad would always go, you're not worth shit when you get back. Just work through and we'll knock off early. Yeah. He goes, man, talk about being sluggish after a chicken farm that fucking 1030 when I was working for the guy that remodeled houses It would just be me and him middle of winter ripping out a kitchen lunch Overdo it
Starting point is 00:28:54 Wawa classic big turkey hoagie chips soda Tasty cake something and then sit in a warm car on a cold day in an empty something and then sit in a warm car on a cold day in an empty neighborhood in their driveway with the heat cranking listening to like 610 like just, you know, sports radio on and dude after that meal just nodding out. Threading trying to get it. For like 15 minutes and then you just hear all right and you hear that creak of the old truck door open like come on, let's go.
Starting point is 00:29:25 Brutal. One of one of my favorite moments of all time, the old truck door open like, come on, let's go. And he was like, oh, yeah, brutal. One of one of my favorite moments of all time, man, we were fucking taking all the scrap metal out of a factory. It was all in the open up as one. Ha ha ha ha. We were working for the owner. Was the hospital is still open. Hey, buddy, you're going to get off this bed. I need this gurney. Um, and so we would, you know, at off this bed. I need this gurney.
Starting point is 00:29:49 And so we would, you know, at lunch, then we'd go to this Little Bodega right next door and they had boiled hot dogs. Oh man, we would each get two or three hot dogs. I'd each get a soda, a bag of chips. Man, everything was like less than a dollar because, you know, this is like 2005 or something like that. Down in, this is in South Philly, so it's like you're going to like a real
Starting point is 00:30:12 fucking low end corner store. And we gotta get a fucking duffel bag full of fucking dogs for the team and everybody. I knew whatever, I was low end. Nothing like a bag of hot dogs. I was the low man on the totem pole, so I had to go run and get everything. And we'd come back and we sat at this old conference table
Starting point is 00:30:26 That was like, you know, we fucking call covered in shit man I'm hot dogs from the best thing in the world You know all be sitting on like old office chairs Like you flip over a bucket and sit on that man and just like in couldn't tell me shit for those 30 minutes I found myself in a Home Depot not that long ago blacked out on chili. And then I came to they had the spot right out front built into the Home Depot. Oh, they're famous. Rockos. They're there. They're on there at every Home Depot
Starting point is 00:30:55 location. Man, that was one of the best sausage. Italian sausage I ever took everything in my power. When you get over to the gardening area, I usually like the smell in Home Depot. You know, you get the sections, you get the wood smell when you're over in lumber, you get the outdoor gardening smell, like that smell of like Miracle Grow or Roundup or whatever it is.
Starting point is 00:31:14 But man, they must have had the vent pumping in there to get you by the registers. Yeah, it's Rocco's. Rocco's Italian Sausage are a cult favorite at Home Depot stores in Philly to expand to Bucks County. Shout out to you. Um Yeah, but I think they even have them out at This was in Queens. Yeah in Queens and Long Island and stuff
Starting point is 00:31:31 It's got to be like a city esque thing took everything in my power not to wander in. Yeah, it's fucking amazing I would just had lunch. I would think you would be like, did you know you could get hammers at the sausage place? you know you could get hammers at the sausage place. You guys sell top mulch here? What's this orange place attached to the building? Are they open? Is that your landlord or something? From a fucking, from a business standpoint, that's brilliant because who's running construction workers are in Home Depot every day. So it's like, oh, we're running back, we're just going to grab a sandwich here.
Starting point is 00:32:03 That's brilliant. I always said that they don't do it. Maybe some of them do now, or maybe I'm just imagining it, but they should have impulse buys at the register like Twizzlers and Gum. They do. They have that now because I always thought that was genius at Staples. Remember Staples? They're the ones that started doing the big buckets of Twizzlers and they have like the candy and stuff like that It's similar similar idea. That's something that you want to put out in your office. Yeah, of course. I love those Twizzlers I remember the first time I really got a fit I bought something at a car wash like an air freshener or something, you know
Starting point is 00:32:39 Like I was waiting for my car to get clean and on the receipt and it was instead of saying like air freshener It said impulse by 350. I was like what the fuck thrown in my face. Yeah, but you don't have to rub it in dude this guy saw me coming from a mile away dumbass purchase. It just says sucker charge. Dude, what the fuck is that shit? Extra large sucker charge chump. Chump tax and. Little dick fee. You know what Home Depot has and I always wanted them when I was a little kid and Patty would never let me get them because I think they were a dollar when I was a kid. Those banging big lollipops, the round ones that are like super thick, they're like the
Starting point is 00:33:18 size of a golf ball. They're in like a little tree. Man. The chupa chupas or whatever. No, chupa chupas. They're like a nickel. I love them. They're in like a little tree man the chupa chupas or whatever no chupa chupas. They're like a nickel. I love them They're great. They had they had the they had the chupas had the straws whistle stick Yeah, there was a little hole you could play the flute or something. Yeah, now these are the big fat ones
Starting point is 00:33:35 Oh, yeah, I'm talking about they look like little globes are like super hard, and they were all different colors Yeah, like a big dumb dumb. Yeah the size of golf balls. I love it dumb dumb Love it. Man. I fucking whole bag crush them My mom has them for the kids even the pineapple my mama have them for the kids You know what I mean like I go over grandma's house. You'll you know that's like it's weird that she like that's how I see Her now. I'm like oh, you're you're a grandma. No dumb. Dumbs when you were a kid No And just get me at his brother
Starting point is 00:34:09 You know moron and moron Want to tell him you said that please don't he's quite large And been a little bit onry I don't know who she was introducing you to In your kitchen in the morning, um, but uh And she had it and she left it down the down the shore and then it got infested by ants man And that dude these things must have been living there. They all died in diabetes those things Those ants were living their best lay went out with a bang. We opened it up, dude It was I've never seen anything like it couple their legs were cut off
Starting point is 00:34:43 out with a bang. We opened it up, dude. It was I've never seen anything like it. A couple of their legs were cut off. Just give me another grape. Root beer is the best, by the way. Root beer is great. Artificial root beer flavor. Anything artificial is fantastic. Any artificial flavoring. I really... That was the fatty shit I've ever heard. ...artificial cherry. I never really appreciated it when I was
Starting point is 00:35:00 a kid. Patty was always a cherry. She always liked cherry. Whatever it was. Give me cherry. I'll have cherry, cherry, water ice, cherry this, cherry that. Man, real home run. This is the show, gang. All right, this one's from Ryan. This is just funny. Is it garbage if you watch The Sopranos until the age of five, you believed it was just
Starting point is 00:35:20 another home movie of your grito family? Man, watching The Sopabritos at five years old. Yeah, that's rough. That's un... what's the word? Couth? Unguarded? Un... Chaperoned.
Starting point is 00:35:37 Yes, unchaperoned. Yeah. Yeah, yikes. Which, I've said this before, I don't think there was ever any rule on anything I consume, except hardcore porn or something. Boobies if it was on. We would have to leave the room when the boobies came on. I don't think there was ever like,
Starting point is 00:35:52 we didn't have any chat, we didn't have HBO until later, but like, there was no channel that was showing tits. I couldn't watch a radar movie till I was well into middle school. My mom had way bigger problems than Karen about that. I would have to sneak him. I go to my buddy's Nathan's house, watch Predator and shit.
Starting point is 00:36:10 It was awesome. You weren't allowed to watch anything violent. We were allowed to watch. That worked out well. Yeah, true. Choke out an Uber driver the other day. Not true. Just yeah, just like when they threw an animal house for the first time, when the boobies
Starting point is 00:36:28 came out, they make us go to hit the stairs. But it was real loose. That's, I mean, I get that. I don't, the one time I do remember my mom put her foot down was strip tease. What were you doing watching that? We were watching it, but my friend had, what year? Did you try to make a move on that, a blockbuster? I think so. How about this blockbuster. I think about this
Starting point is 00:36:45 What I think so well I wanted to see that Jesse Spano what year did strip tease come out had to be the late 90s Yeah, 92 93 maybe 94 96 whoa, so I was probably 10 and my buddy mad had watched it and he's like have you seen this I'm like now, but I will and I remember being like boy try or trying to get it. They like to me more Gonna see a little more. Is that her that's to me more right strip tea. I don't I never saw this fucking blackballed Yeah strip teases her and Jesse Spano Bing Rames. No no see we're getting to Two movies mixed up no Bing Rames and strip tees Bing Rames Burt Reynolds
Starting point is 00:37:22 getting two two movies mixed up. No, Bing Ram's in striptease. Bing Ram's Burt Reynolds. OK, Reynolds is in striptease. Demi Moore. I missed a blockbuster. That's not the one with the girl from from full Saved by the Bell. You just named every show from the 90s. That's not the girl from Let's Make a Deal.
Starting point is 00:37:37 There's. Who wants to be a millionaire? Step by step home improvement. Not Regis filming me. Say by the bell, what was her stripper movie? I thought it was Striptease up until now. I think it is. They were both in it. I don't think she was a main character.
Starting point is 00:37:55 Yeah, she was, I thought. I think it was like Elizabeth Hurl, not Elizabeth Hurl, but it's something like that. Don't get me started. Elizabeth Berkeley. Yes. Was she in strip tease? Give me one second. I got you coming up here. It was screech. Rest in peace, big dog. All right, P. Damn, she's been
Starting point is 00:38:12 working, dude. 96. She was in White Wolves 2. Armistice 3. Doesn't look no. Yeah, she has another movie where she was a stripper. That's all new. I thought that was all strip tease. Now, what a perfect show cans and strip tease. Definitely. Maybe not. I thought that was all striptease now what uh the perfect show cans and striptease Definitely, maybe not. I don't know if Demi Moore gets naked in there might not her but there's got to be an extra walking around Reynolds was a little loose back there in the locker room showing full bird showgirl show girls I've mixed those two up and they've been there were some bozos at the house screaming at the screaming at the TV or their stereo
Starting point is 00:38:51 Computer stereo Man this guy Good think of it. Shout out the ladder gang If you're anything like me, you're always putting stuff off to the last minute and sometimes you can get away with it But when it comes to term coverage life insurance, you don't want to play around It's time to choose life insurance through ladder. It's 100% digital So you're not dealing with doctors needles or paperwork when you apply for 3 million or less in coverage. That's bonkers They're giving it away. Just answer a few questions about your health and an application guys. It's easy peasy
Starting point is 00:39:24 You go over there. Life insurance is something you push off, but I started thinking I gotta do something and Latter is it. It takes just a few minutes to apply and when you find out you're instantly approved, there are no hidden fees and you can cancel it anytime. You can even get a full refund
Starting point is 00:39:38 if you change your mind in the first 30 days. So get on it. Life insurance costs more as you age, so save some cash and take care of it. ASAP here's the turkey. Go to ladderlife.com slash garbage today to see if you're instantly approved. That's ladder L A D D E R life dot com slash garbage ladderlife.com slash garbage do it gang. Wow okay two different movies. What has a better rating on Rotten Tomatoes? Striptease. Yeah. what's showgirls got a do diddy's
Starting point is 00:40:07 way down 23 on what 23 and 37 tomatoes that's all critics yeah and what are the fans what is it what are those judgments don't compare to 90s movies it doesn't translate is a different time get out of here with oh wait no strip cheese is worse 13 and 24 there we go around tomatoes is it's all bullshit we don't fuck with them okay yeah he
Starting point is 00:40:30 said no to my special too okay I don't know if we've ever touched on this one but it's funny this is from Mike ever get invited to the bachelor party, but not the wedding. I've done this three times. Man, talk about it. That's what you're. You're a good time. Talk about being the side piece. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:53 You're a good time in the strip club in a, in a bad time. Yeah. You're not the kind of guy that meets nano. No, you're what's known as a brand risk. Yeah. You're meeting Jesse Spano from fucking strip team. Yeah. You've ruined a couple of parties. That's how you get that moniker. Mm-hmm
Starting point is 00:41:07 Damn, you're a good time. No or blow. You got to keep them around. I Think my brother did that a couple of times. I don't think I ever did I never really went on that many bachelor parties Did one in New Orleans? No money to do that went to Miami. I was no money to do that And I just recently did one in New York I've only I went to one in college because we had to because it was an older brother And we had to like drive the older guys down there It was gross and then the one from my brother which was a nice dinner and a couple of beers
Starting point is 00:41:38 So we do it now. Yeah, nice dinner a couple of drinks couple of cocktails I saw a tick-tock that went crazy viral of this chick being like hey if your husband's bachelor party was in Vegas at this Pool at like this hotel. He cheated on you. Let's find this guy. I think I saw that crazy. Yeah There's also So many dudes must have been sweating There's also a thing I heard too, I forget what it is, but there's like these Facebook groups that these girls are in where they,
Starting point is 00:42:14 it's like Tinder. Have you met this guy, is he a piece of shit type dude? Yes, are you talking to the people, I haven't dated that guy for three years or whatever, you know what I mean, it's all that kind of shit. Fucking set in the trap. It's funny. So be careful out there If you see me on tinder, it's I'm doing research for a bit a lot of speed traps Keep it under the limit
Starting point is 00:42:39 Mmm, I respect it. Yeah All right, let's see here. This is Tyler, $10, new $10 homie. There you go. Never had one red, shout out to you. Thanks pal. Welcome to the party. Welcome to the spot. Are you garbage?
Starting point is 00:42:51 If instead of buying you red Umbro shorts for your middle school soccer team, your dad bought you red sweatpants from Walmart and cut them into shorts. Ooh. That's a, I mean, there's no way you fit in. Like just optically. someone's gonna be like, that kid's running around and cut off sweatpants.
Starting point is 00:43:07 Oh, those sweatpants roll when you cut them. Oh yeah, they don't hold, they need a seam at the bottom. That is a tough spot, man. I've been in that spot where we weren't getting the, we weren't getting the name brand or something. The Life's a Beach Hat would work. Your behind home plate and hockey mask. Life's a beach hat. Oh man, we used to have the worst gear
Starting point is 00:43:30 like for that kind of, for like Little League, like McGregor cleats that we got that were like literally plastic. I got the blister threes. Oh dude. Got the two small fours. Like soccer shoes, brutal. Mitre was a big cheap brand too. I remember Miter. Yeah. Miter cleats. Sounds nice. Miter or Miter. I remember seventh and eighth grade football, seventh or eighth grade. I think it would have
Starting point is 00:43:54 been seventh. I played the whole season in baseball cleats because they had the flap in the front. Uh huh. You're playing what? Football. Huh, you're playing what football? How many outs do we have I Swear to God man. It was rough damn. I wait didn't I didn't have like I had it where I Feel like I was in like warm winter socks that were like thick and went up to like they weren't the socks I should be wearing in Wearing cleats mm-hmm guy's got no fucking ankle support
Starting point is 00:44:28 Dress socks with the little suspenders stare up The stockings that ladies where they go to the Pair toes do my dad was I guess my brother's baseball coach And he I mean he used to roll around with this bag of gear that must have been from 1978. It was in one of those old Army canvas bags,
Starting point is 00:44:51 like the big tube bags. Put the bats in there. Yeah, dude, it would be the bats, the catcher gear, and I remember he used to make me carry, and I'm like, it was probably 40 pounds heavier than I was as a kid, and they're like four feet tall. Man, and that thing, I remember pulling stuff out of like helmets and shipping like these can't be fucking approved by the you know What's it all German Army helmet?
Starting point is 00:45:17 It's it shirts shirts first German today Germans today. Man, those baseball helmets. Remember then the ad then somebody would catch lice. All team would get wiped out. I think when I. They they got a handle on life between when you were a kid and I was because it wasn't a prevalent no one ever no one ever caught everybody. I got when I was a kid, everybody.
Starting point is 00:45:45 Kid rolling in just dimming his. Sleeping at the kennels? What were you doing? He would just see a family come into school, like a second grader, third grader, fifth grader. All shaved heads. The mom's dropping them off. She's got a shaved head.
Starting point is 00:45:58 Signing them in. The dog's all shaved. Yeah, no, we never had that. And also, man, those baseball helmets. I have an odd, at the time, my head was too big for like most of the kid one. So I had to use a grown up one. Talking about extra large.
Starting point is 00:46:16 But the extra large ones were too big, man. And that there's a sound that that makes in your head. When it rattles back and forth. It's burned into my brain. Yeah, I got hit a couple times and getting hit with one of those in the front, that line right here when that would that would hit your forehead. None of them had any padding or anything. It was all chewed out. Dog got into it or something. And those I want to say they were like, what was it, those baseball coach shorts?
Starting point is 00:46:48 The bike shorts. Yeah, B-I-C, right? No, it was B-I-K-E. Really? I want to see if there was like Vic or Bic shorts too. No, bike was a nice one. Shout out to Mr. Evers. He used to rock those all the time.
Starting point is 00:47:01 Yeah, those things. Dude was ripped. My neighbor's dad would rock. I mean, he wore them, he was made for them. If I had the body, I would wear them all the time. Yeah, those were ripped. My neighbor's dad would rock. I mean, he wore them. He was made for if I had the body, I would wear them all the time. They're kind of back now. The young kids are wearing the short shorts.
Starting point is 00:47:11 Are they? Yeah. Okay. Oh, she's got the next episode me and you sit. Just like umpires. Yeah, that also reminded me to you know, it's back those long earring the chain earrings with like the cross or like, you know, whatever for ladies or do dudes.
Starting point is 00:47:29 It's got the dangle. I told you, Pat had one of those and we were like, like the George Michaels. Yeah. Yeah. Pat showed up to Michael speaking of baseball. Pat showed up to baseball game with that, with a skull and crossbones. So who's your dad? Barry Bonds. This is crazy. He's got a Cuban link. He's like, who's your dad, Barry Bonds? This is crazy, dude. He's got a Cuban link.
Starting point is 00:47:47 He's tugging it. Yeah, I'm like, what the fuck? What are you, an All-Star? Pretty tough for a 165 batting average. Here's Stutsky. Getting Billy Mays A's over here. Yeah. Shout out to bat.
Starting point is 00:48:01 Yeah, I remember being like, damn, dude, that's crazy. There was always that one friend who had the sweetest gear. whether they stunk or were good, they always had the tightest gear. I don't think any of my crew ever had good gear. Honest, like, no one had... We played street hockey a bunch and that was these pads... We did have the goalie pads that we got from I don't even know who you stole My bum sure Danny stole them from somebody. Yeah, same thing. We had a waffle That's what the things called stolen and it was like a you know a baseball or like, you know, you know catchers man
Starting point is 00:48:38 Yeah, and a glove like a baseball glove. Yeah, we never had the cook of like a punter from the 70s Just the one bar. Oh, that was a baseball glove. Yeah, we never had the like a punter from the 70s. Just the one bar. Oh, that was a tough look. Yeah. And we never had never had good gear. Now, there's one kid when we play street hockey, there's one kid in the neighborhood. Yeah, one kid that had good gear at all. And we fucking ruined it, destroyed it all.
Starting point is 00:49:01 Someone having a net was big time. If somebody if somebody had a net. Totally. And it didn't matter if the sewer drain was 50 yards away. That ball was going in. And that ruined it. I felt like I was in the sandlot trying to get the ball out of there so you can play again. You have a two by four that you put over it. That's smart thinking. Look at you. I don't think so. Well, it is until you forget about it and you flood the block with a race.
Starting point is 00:49:25 The city's coming down on you. That's smart thinking. Look at that. What I was going to say before is we used to play with the trash can too. That was big. It's the spring. I got a lot of my cousins, little cousins, nephews and stuff like that are all in sports.
Starting point is 00:49:43 Uncle Hank's getting hit up for the donations, for the fundraisers. I'm getting crushed. I'm like a G hot in already. They know to come to Uncle Hank. Everybody else is smart with their money and they got kids and stuff like that. They see me walk on the lot. Yeah. Selling me the undercoating, everything. Paying for half the benefit. But I guess we paid in high school. We didn't pay for our uniforms. That stuff was all provided by the school from what I remember. Are these
Starting point is 00:50:18 club teams? No, they're school teams. They gotta pay for their shit. I think they just cut funding a bunch. It's crazy. All that funding got cut. I mean, we had, shit. I think they just cut funding a bunch. It's crazy. All that funding got cut. I mean, we had, I remember in... I don't know. I don't know anything. And in wrestling, we were in the basement. The wrestling room was in the basement and there was a storage room in the wrestling room.
Starting point is 00:50:37 And dude, they had stuff from like going back to like the 60s and we used to raid this thing. And we'd have like the old school gear, to wear socially and stuff like that. The old school keys, all that kind of stuff. And the stuff we had like my senior year was pretty good. Like we all had matching outfits and everything like that. Everything was real organized.
Starting point is 00:50:57 I don't think we paid for any of that stuff, but the kids now, I think they all, the parents are getting hit up for that. There was fun, Ray. I remember like fun, like there was a booster clubs and stuff like yeah things moving Yeah, but I think now man. I have no idea. Maybe a lot of that funding got cut. I don't know but I remember my my Girl cousin telling me like yeah, they don't they don't give me that stuff. You got to buy all that shit
Starting point is 00:51:20 That's crazy crazy the one thing that I like helmets and stuff. Yeah, I feel like oh, yeah, that's not it All right I do feel like maybe it was like hey if you want to play football and you're gonna Actually like make it out of the practice and be on the team. It might have been like oh, it's 150 bucks or something Maybe I know we didn't pay for any of our football stuff. I'm but I can foresee of like there is Some sort of barrier entry of some sort of cost sure that it's like hey, it's 80 bucks To rent the gear for the seasoner I remember we even had like options for face masks and stuff like that because it was always if you only a few like a
Starting point is 00:51:55 Real big ones that had like all the all the grills in it Yeah, like you know some linebacker wanted that or something like that to look tough all the neck rolls you could get He got two of them. Oh, dude. We used to have two of them. Oh, the neck rolls you could get. He got two of them. Oh, dude, he used to have two of them out there like this. I got my nephew's confirmation coming up. OK, got to grease him. Sure. What do I give them? Come for that son confirmation.
Starting point is 00:52:17 Your godson. Yeah. What is a confirm? That's that's like where you establish that you're down for the team, right? It's like your Catholic bar mitzvah. You become an adult in the world of the Lord. It's like the Catholic draft. Give it a go. I'm curious to see what the actual... My wife was asking me, you know what's crazy?
Starting point is 00:52:34 She views us as very religious. You and I? My family. Uh-huh. As she's like, you know, and it's just because she grew up with like, she grew up with Christians, not Catholics per se. Yeah. So I'm like, yeah, it like guys, you know and it's just because she grew up with like she grew up with Christians not Catholics per se Yeah, so I'm like, yeah, it's like, you know the bird good the the piece goes to church, right? I don't think every week but she'll hit it. She hits it. Yeah. Yeah Patty goes every week, man Early too and if not, she's listening to it in her back pocket Jesus and a broadcast it quite an operation over there
Starting point is 00:53:06 But it was weird for them to be like, yeah, you're, the label is very religious. It's crazy to me. Dude, well, when you read this, she's not that far off. Confirmation means accepting responsibility for your faith and destiny. A sacrament in which the Holy Ghost is given to those already baptized in order to make them strong and perfect Christians and soldiers of Jesus Christ. There you go. What's up pussy? Yeah, keep running your fucking mouth. See if I don't pull your card. That doesn't sound like a cult at all.
Starting point is 00:53:39 Yeah, I don't know, what do I Greek?? What a come from how much it's got to be monetary I got a grease some grease them. What are you gonna give my blender? Give an air fryer I only use it Here's a pizza like new. Hold on. Is there a party? Yes Okay, is it a dinner or is it a party? It's a dinner. It's a dinner. So it's tight Yeah, it's my immediate family. Okay. Maybe one or two, you know. But it's not like a... What are you looking for here?
Starting point is 00:54:11 I mean, I have a number in my head that'll wow everybody. I mean, you know what I gave my one cousin for graduation? Herpes? Terrible. I'm in a box. You know what I gave him? Yeah. I gave him five bills. I was a kid. That's what I was leaning. That's where I was. This is saying Penn State, man. Two hunge is about av. I think two hunge, two three hundred. You're blowing everybody else away, but they all got kids and stuff like that. It's a different curve. Yeah, it's a different thing I'm coming in. I got no kids. What do you want to do? You want to go heavy? You like this kid?
Starting point is 00:54:50 I don't want to go Send my wife to the Joey Diaz Send them 500. I don't know but I hear that, you know, you know He I agree some with shoes and shit like that a bunch Like it, you know, it's not like it's not like I'm absent. I'm an absentee uncle where I'm okay You know I'm present how old is this kid? How do you how old for confirmation like 12 or 13? Yeah, he's 12 Dependent yeah
Starting point is 00:55:16 These kids got expensive taste these days. I haven't seen a t-shirt under $100. I mean that's that's crazy I'm not doing that but But they like name brand shit. Yes. Which is great. It's Instagram. Multiple pairs of Jordans and expensive Nike sneakers. Can you imagine? No.
Starting point is 00:55:36 I couldn't. I would get, once I got older and was a little more into, not fashion, but like where you're at. I was into high fashion, but like where you're But when you're aware of like oh I want to look like this like in junior high when we started skating It was like that is a look that you try to Adhere to sure those shoes could be in the world of shoes at that time I mean they weren't like fucking Jordans or anything, but they would be like, you know, 70 80. Yeah, they're 60 bucks like fucking Jordans or anything, but they would be like, you know, 70, 80 bucks. Yeah, they're 60 bucks.
Starting point is 00:56:04 Those gab jeans started getting expensive to gap. Who are they? They're nuts. When they're it's like fucking in high school, they were those button flies were getting expensive. But man, those things look sweet. Press dams. I don't know. I'll probably do I'll do a couple hundred. Grease them. There you go.
Starting point is 00:56:22 You're a good kid. Tussle them on the head. Where the bar? Well, is this an ego thing? Are you worried about anybody beating you out or you don't care about that stuff? I don't care about that. See, I always want to be top dog at the dinner. Can I throw a little conspiracy theory at you for these kids?
Starting point is 00:56:35 Sure. Monetarily wise, I almost feel like it would be better to give a kid an Amazon gift card than cash. Because like, where are they going to go spend this cash? It's not like our days where you go to the mall or go get whatever you wanted. It's pretty good. Like everything is online and you're ordering everything.
Starting point is 00:56:51 Where are you going to go actually buy shit? Yeah, this kid ain't hanging out at the mall and shit. It's true. They still, I don't know. I don't know. And they pan it out and post it on Instagram or something? Yeah. Flex on flex on his boys.
Starting point is 00:57:03 Let the ops know what's up. I thought you got... Kip, you got the Ops going crazy. Uh, yeah, that's a really good point. I don't know. I mean, I guess they could spend it on like snacks and like little things. It's not Amazon though. You wouldn't get him an Amazon card.
Starting point is 00:57:17 Why not? They're not my neighbor. Yeah, what are they getting on Amazon? Literally anything. I think that... Yeah, but they're not buying clothes on Amazon. Who's buying clothes? I guess, I don't know, I mean, I wish one of us
Starting point is 00:57:29 had kids so we could weigh in with, knew what was happening here, but I would assume if it's like, if he wants, I don't know, let's say like new basketball shoes or something for next season. Yeah. It's like, hey mom. I think they are going to the store to get those.
Starting point is 00:57:44 That, yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. But like, he's going, hey, Mom, I think they are going to the store to get those that. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. But like he's going, hey, Mom, I want this. And my sister's probably like fucking absolutely not. And he's like, can I use the money that, you know, Kevin gave me? And she's like, yeah, probably. Wait till he finds out their counterfeit. Uncle Kevin gave me a dinner in an envelope for some reason. Yeah. You're gonna say, so you gotta say you gotta play you want to playing crap You you go no card
Starting point is 00:58:09 cash in hand I Want to do that listen this is a Cash in hand to a kid. I'm going off Primarily my experience if someone hands you a card at an event where people are gifting you money, or on your birthday, you don't care what the card says. You want the cash. I know what you love when that money falls out though.
Starting point is 00:58:33 That's what I'm saying, so it's all, I don't need him to act. You see a 50 fall out of that? I don't need him to go like, oh, and like, you know, have to like, not make eye contact with the money and then like read through the poem or whatever buddy put the cash in your pocket I'm on your team you want it you want to be the coolest uncle of all time
Starting point is 00:58:53 yeah hit him with fold it up hit him with the old-school drug dealer Dapub. His hands are too small. Well drop that. The waiter picks it up. Yeah, I would probably just do cash if it was up to me My wife probably is not gonna go for but also I'm a dirtbag. You shouldn't do that It's like you give a car, but I would Dap up the fucking I'd palm it to him Go to the guy in the corner. He'll straighten you out He need to connect for that Hit the kid up. Talk to your uncle Foley. I'm waiting outside doing this in a trench coat Give me some fried mozzarella for you come out
Starting point is 00:59:33 Okay, let's see here. I think we got time for one or two more This one's from in the home is it garbage at the first time I had facial hair my mom put nair on my upper lip And it had it left burn marks afterwards. What the hell, man? That's, Crenair's the... The... The... Illegal chemical?
Starting point is 00:59:55 The wax. No, it's not wax, it's chemical. It wipes off? Burns off. It's like a foam. Burns the hair. My Aunt Kathy was all about that. They were pushing this one thing, late 90s, Epi, Apple Stop and Spray. It was in like a like a suntan lotion sprayer. Okay.
Starting point is 01:00:13 And you would wipe it on and you would spray it on and then just like the hair would wipe right. That was the infomercial. It's no good for you. And I remember being, I had even then, and I'm pro chemical, sign me up with the chemies. I'm alright But even then I was like that's gotta be how that's from another country bad news And as you can see no hair and only the slightest cancerous residue Yeah, that was like I never trouble that shit would never fly in our house Maybe she had nair like when it came out or not supposed to use it on your face It's for your legs for your legs. I've I've heard of people putting it in shampoo as a prank. I would
Starting point is 01:00:50 I don't know is that like do you know first-hand accounts or that's that's always a friend That was a good at lore of like at spring break. They really got him when they yeah that kind of like the vizine The vizine really give you the shit. Oh, I think like aggressively no kidding huge big-time. Yeah, really oh, yeah, huh? Maybe I'm eating a lot of a zine Visine oh Yeah, no, I think that's all Internet lore like I was mad at my roommate, so I you know whatever whatever type shit I think what is a good prank when a guy's at like an outdoor shower and somebody comes up and keeps putting shampoo in his hair.
Starting point is 01:01:26 That's fake. Are they fake? Oh my god. You know, like at some point you go, what the hell's happening here? Yeah, you just look up and then keep going. You're like my mom when you believe videos. No way. I could keep Foley in an outdoor shower for 30, 45 minutes with that bitch. Now I would know what's up. Plus I don't wash my hair.
Starting point is 01:01:44 I got my wits about me. Good luck with that. Alright, now I would know what's up. Plus, I don't wash my hair. I got my wits about me. Good luck with that. All right, we gotta wrap it up, gang. Gang, we love you to death. Just another reminder, Kippy Special is out right now, right here on the RU Garbage YouTube page. Check them both out. Directed by Toby McMullen.
Starting point is 01:01:59 Shout out to Luke, shout out to the whole squad, Tommy C. We can't thank you guys enough for being at those shows, for sharing and all that stuff. We love you. Grab some tickets for the live show and we'll see you next week. Peace.

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