Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast - What Murders?! w/ Kippy & Foley

Episode Date: June 5, 2023

Are You Garbage is back with Kippy and Foley for a family episode to answer your garbage questions from Patreon. Its a fun one! Thanks for watching AYG Comedy Podcast. Love youse guys. Come to a live ...show! NEW MERCH: https://areyougarbage.com/ Follow Kevin: https://www.instagram.com/kevinryancomedy/ Follow Foley: https://www.instagram.com/hfoleycomedy/ Live Shows: https://linktr.ee/AreYouGarbage PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/AreYouGarbage Liquid IV: https://www.liquid-iv.com Promo Code: Garbage Manscaped: https://www.manscaped.com Promo Code: Garbage Pretty Litter: https://www.prettylitter.com/garbage Comedians H. Foley and Kevin Ryan are self proclaimed GARBAGE. Each week a new stand up comedian gets put to the test. Steal shampoo from hotels? Own a George Foreman Grill? Ever worn JNCO Jeans?

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Game, we got a low-ticket alert and cleveland and Columbus, so if you want to catch the show, you better make a move, baby! Yeah, gang, there's a handful of tickets left at each show, and then obviously the second show added at the Vogel Theatre and Red Bank, New Jersey, August 11th. That's more than halfway sold out, get those tickets, let's sell it out, gang, we'll see you out there! Peace! Welcome to another exciting edition of... ...Are You Gabbitch? of Are You Gobbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's new favorite
Starting point is 00:00:40 podcast. This is Are You Garbage. It's little show, we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that they grew up to be classy. Oh, after just a big old piece of trash. Gorbage. I'm your host, Dave Trolley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tuddy's in a new edition. She's down at the supercuts, getting a little trim done.
Starting point is 00:00:58 Pubes? No. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, it take a little off the top. We'll use this. Getting a little clean up done getting the beard trim You know, she doesn't play off beard She likes to keep it tight getting the stashed on sure get a line get lined up
Starting point is 00:01:13 You ever in the kitchen when she's bleaching that thing? Jesus Christ the neighborhood kids working for like the Lorax in there making eggs My co-host is coming at you from across the table. This is a family episode. He is a CEO of RU Garbage. He's got a hot cup of coffee. Mm-hmm. I got nothing. Give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan.
Starting point is 00:01:32 Thanks big man. I appreciate it. Shout out to everybody listening. We appreciate it. If you haven't already, please make sure you're a review subscribing iTunes. Even though that don't mean nothing no more, you head over to wear it.
Starting point is 00:01:42 It matters, baby. The fucking wear them with the money maker. The YouTube's.com slash RU Garbage. And you head over to where it matters, maybe. The fucking where the money maker, the youtube.com slash or you garbage, as you know those numbers are. Shrouda rup! Cooking! Closing in on 150,000 subs over there. That's fucking crazy. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:01:56 And I'm not talking 150,000 submarine sandwich is either big guy. I'm talking subscribers. I always resent at the submarine sandwich. Sure, I'm sure you have opinions on it. Sure. Also, obviously patreon. I'm sure you have opinions on it sure also Obviously patreon.com slash already garbage. I check out you bonus up to bonnet If you're on a 10 dollar you get two bonus episodes every fucking week
Starting point is 00:02:13 You get a catalog of two and a half years of fucking episodes every week You got videos you got bonus videos the whole nine yards vlogs check it out game like feet stuff I'm checking out how about a night I went? Check it out. How about a nice quick shot? I need to know it. All right, welcome back to the show. The monitor's throwing me off. All right, you're getting all new equipment. You freaking me out.
Starting point is 00:02:35 How about a nice quick shot out to our producer extraordinaire, the magic man? Uh-huh. Makes us all look good. Works to warns the two's crosses, the T's, that's the eyes. He's got a couple of tickets to a hot rock show later tonight it's gonna be out in the park and let huffin balloons give it up for T-bone Mcscroft and stubby McMullen everybody the good can play was to do the helium voice hey guys sure sure
Starting point is 00:02:58 I'm just so excited I'm gonna see my favorite band tonight can't wait man fire it up I'm being the pit out there listening to lies are man. Ellie Trying to crowds are dog. I was I was at dinner and my mom goes my mom goes my dad She's like the beach boys are back and I was like they're alive still the beach boys are back We were just listening to the beach boys are today me a new guy Luke. He has a good ear for it Yeah, but you know guys of 90 years old? We're gonna wheel them out, they're gonna play two songs, they're all gonna die. They still got it, and you know who they got, rolling with them.
Starting point is 00:03:31 Stay mo. Stay mo. No shot. He's the drummer, right? What do you mean, stay mo is basically a Beach Boy. Yeah. For sure. No one at all started off.
Starting point is 00:03:40 Kokomo. And let me tell you something, there wasn't a fat chick within a mile to Mississippi that wasn't dying for that song when it came out Oh, yeah, every mom and the beach boys went on full house beach boys went on full house Then they dropped that gym put stamos in the video. They sold millions of copies He what's he do for the singer or drummer? I think I might have just made that up to I think you're buying that off I think he does play to drums. Stay most plays to drums and various percussion instruments very I'm gonna hold
Starting point is 00:04:16 Shout out to stay most who you're youngy piece boys with man. We're one step away from stay mo Man talk about a dream guest. Kid is a looker. I feel fucking don't need blue jouver that episode. I'd be under here fucking. Knock knock. Who's there? Boatertown. Man really carries himself well too. He was just on Yonnie's pod or something. They hang. They chill. It's like him, Yonnie, and some whoever, who's Stamos' wife? That's what he's like. I know you don't know. Fuckin' look it up. This guy gets the lights on.
Starting point is 00:04:52 I mean, freeze is like a goddamn deer. This is Christ. Caitlin McEw. Probably a real heifer. Shhh. Probably a goddamn thip. He was married to Rebecca Robain Stamos. Robain? None of was married to Rebecca, Rebecca Robain Stamos. No, none of that was right.
Starting point is 00:05:06 Rebecca, Romain Stamos. I was always a kale salad guy. Love, Rebecca, Rebecca Romain. Oh, yeah, she was, they were, they were like the... Mystique, right? In the X-Men movies. Sure. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:20 All right. A little bit under boob on that. That's either here or there. I also, I just invited you to a concert I got snubbed. And he said it with this scutth. I don't wanna go to a fucking Billy Joe concert. Is it out store indoor? Outdoor.
Starting point is 00:05:32 Where would he be playing outdoor? The Joe Man? I don't know. The Yankee Stadium? No, what's that MSG? Um... I don't want you to go. I'm not begging you to go.
Starting point is 00:05:44 I was trying to do the nice friendly thing I had a I had an extra ticket to the fucking you don't want to take me. I just asked you Yeah, but that's that obligation what I had two extra tickets who else is going you both of you You get seats two and three chubs You have two extra tickets. No, I have one. Can I bring somebody? Ha ha ha. Hey, listen, can you not go and I'll bring my friends? I'll pull you out.
Starting point is 00:06:09 Yeah. Get outta here, you. Fucking disgracey odd. Like, I'm not even as best pal. I don't want to go. Well, I wasn't extended invite. I'd go psych. I'm not a nerd.
Starting point is 00:06:20 Fuck that shit. Yeah, it's not black flag or whatever you listen to. Yeah, hell yeah. There ain't no pit at the Billy Joel concert. Hey, those old bags get after it. If you need a root canal, then I'll just straighten you out over there. But I know it's a donnest over there. If you don't think that guy rocks to a house, you're a sance.
Starting point is 00:06:39 Oh, I bet he's a consummate showman. Oh, kills it. Kill, I mean, one of the best concerts I've ever been to, was the joy and... Listen, I am talking shit, but that talk about a. Oh, kills it. Kills it. Kill, I mean, one of the best cons I ever been to was the Jordan. Listen, I am talking shit, but that talk about a hit factory that guy. We listen to, we were in the car together.
Starting point is 00:06:51 We listen to all the time on the road. We're all singing along the scenes from an Italian restaurant. Here we are. Colby in our lights. That's what I wanted to name my album. That's enough. I'm not getting sued by Billy Joel. I know, I'll be right on the floor.
Starting point is 00:07:06 First section up on the floor. You kind of could play a young old Billy Joel. Okay. It's not necessarily a comedy. Is there a project in mind? He was doing a sitcom. What do you want to do? A web series?
Starting point is 00:07:19 I'm it for that reason. I'm out. Only the good guy young started Kevin Ryan. It's a young or old. No one knows I'll be. He the good guy young started Kevin Ryan. It was a young or old. No one knows how old I am. He looked old when he was young. He looks better now. I think he hit his stride.
Starting point is 00:07:32 I mean, I'm disgusting. I mean, not now, for honest. He hit it, he hit it, as he was older in like the 80s and 90s. He looks great. What do you mean? He looks fantastic. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:41 Oh, we talking shit. Billy Jones, Stamos, cut all this. Gonna get whacked out next time we're at the Illuminati party Hey, you go to those a lot You got a plus one let take me what are we doing? See how the concert goes first I I'm excited to be my first time ever a Madison Square Garden. You never saw a Nick game or nothing like that
Starting point is 00:08:01 Why the fuck would I see a Nick game? Fair enough 76 just feeling there once though. You know what do you mean? You've lived here for 38 years. Only been there once probably to cop dope or something Try to sneak into fucking Seleniggy pop some gear Dr. Feelgood you walk it Selenity tops
Starting point is 00:08:29 Segear is such a good name. Oh man. It's so good ears. All right. It's sound cool when it's not kids Don't don't be doing gear Lay off the gear meet me by the load and docs Straighten me out. Yeah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha where the gravitational pull of a recliner is irresistible. I brought Dr. D and my mom's, check out the addition here. And within, I'd say about 35 seconds, my dad was sitting into his chair. Old guys like a nice chair. Put your feet up, man. Guys are working hardest whole life.
Starting point is 00:09:16 Third bag kid like you chasing you around, bailing you out of jail, putting you through private school and all that shit. Jesus Christ Yeah, there's a lot Your we are sure he loves you just dismantled my whole life in 30 seconds But whatever Cuz your dad likes to put his feet up
Starting point is 00:09:41 Yeah, I don't know what it is. There's something about it. Something about it. Really is. I love it too. And we still have the robotic one that my dad had. And then when I sit in that thing. But this one, this robotic makes it sound cool. It's not from Sharper Image. It's a prescription reminder here. I think it's a transformer.
Starting point is 00:10:01 Yeah. We got the robe, so I'm over there sitting on a robot's face. It's a lazy boy, but it like it's so are you. It lifts it lifts you up and everything's automatic. You don't got to pull the eject button. You just you have a little you have a little thing. Sure. You usually get that there are mode confused all the time. He's as Christ trying to turn the trying to turn the volume up these upside down. Oh, I dare. Fuck. Holds in on himself. Pulling them off the ceiling with that thing. Oh, is that thing?
Starting point is 00:10:28 You know what, we've got a lot of tweets or whatever, and so I can't attribute it to somebody, but I don't know we've ever talked about it. We're, couches, let's, couches with recliners in them. Okay. Like the end two. I remember when we got my dad got them first from Rainmore and Flanagan, green, like dark green couches pops out.
Starting point is 00:10:51 Cloth or leather? Cloth. Yeah, I know. Leather, what are we Italian? Yeah. That's what Patty has now. Well, leather's different now. Back in the day to get leather,
Starting point is 00:11:00 you had to be a guido. Sure. Uh, the real guinea shit. Uh, I have a white Christmas tree. Um, but the cup holders in what do you, how do you feel about the cup holder in the lazy boy or the couch? So to me, I've lived in an apartment with them in New York and it's bad. Oh, I know your, I know the exact, they have the cup holder in them. I know the exact chair you're talking about. There's always a lighter, some shake in there.
Starting point is 00:11:28 Which is ants. Yeah, chewed up gum. No, that was that, that setup was all right. That recliner? That specific recliner. That recliner came from the trip. All the furniture in that apartment came from the side of the New York street.
Starting point is 00:11:39 No kidding. Yeah. I wish I would have known that. Sorry about the bed bugs. But that was all right, because it had, it was a double cup holder, so you had a little room. And I was, what I remember, it was pretty clean.
Starting point is 00:11:50 You put your drink there, you put your, you know, you had the remote stuff like that. My beef is, well, I have a problem with those couches, because my legs are so big. So now they have the buttons in the cushion that leans up against the armrest. Did you understand I'm saying? That's what that's what they're a little side. It's on the outside. No, it's not on the over outside. My mom has one where this where
Starting point is 00:12:17 it's the cushion and then the ins like if you dropped a quarter inside the calder in there. It's on the seat and my fucking fat legs rub against it's all sudden I'm like it's flying around I'm going in the air the air machine you're the motor going it's no good hard smoking it's no good uh but when they dropped I mean forget about it but not the cup holder the cup holder on the on the sectional that's a bad look. Now, if you have that thing in the middle where you flip it up, like it's the hood of a car, and you got some stuff in there, that was all right.
Starting point is 00:12:52 I don't know. But those soft cloth sectionals that had where you had the manual pop it up. That's what we had. Oh, yeah. That thing's all right. I remember a show on that off the friends when they came over Yeah, like yeah, we got that they come over and see it. Yeah, everybody would come over and see that was
Starting point is 00:13:11 Over and see the couch just got a new that was one of the most comfortable couches of my life was that green couch at my dad's house That was like fucking Nuzel out in there because it went like flat back So as a kid you could really get some horizontal sleep in them. We never had a sectional until That's not a it wasn't a sectional. It was just a straight couch a three piece where the two ends went Yeah, and then a two piece did it was it together? No, oh a little coffee table in the air ashtray for your heaters Shitty guide. Yeah, I'm a sectional man. My cousin's always had sectionals. We've been as sectionals We had straight couch section connected right? Yeah, I'm a sectional man. My cousin's always had sectionals. We've been as sectionals. We had straight down. What's the section that connected right? Yeah, good L. No, we never had that really. I think you're having to be all over that. No, we have one.
Starting point is 00:13:53 My mom has one now, I think. It's like the it's all connected. Yes, it is. But those are a real nice ones. That's a nice couch. When you get yourself in that corner, maybe you got a little fee. But the fancy thing about a school school you're snuggling up in the corner with the Comforter a little oaken zeroes Check please the fancy thing about this one. It's not a hard L. It's like a soft got a soft turn in it. That's like a that's like a Las Vegas casino. Yeah, yeah, I think you're about to watch us in a Trin Personator come out fly me to them. Come more mozzarella sticks over here.
Starting point is 00:14:25 Table eight, please. Hold that like a cigar. Yeah, that's nice. Um, it's pretty clear. How about I have to feel about the charge? Some of the charger now, too. A charger. They have like a USB port.
Starting point is 00:14:36 Now, what is it? A fucking car wash? No, you keep it simple. I'll give you the recliner. Oh, that's me. The recliner is that's. No, I'm sorry. I'll give you the recliner. Oh, that is stuff. Me the recliner is that's no, I'm sorry. I'll give you the recliner on the couch, but that all that other stuff. Come on. You get one of those ads seen on TV things that you throw over
Starting point is 00:14:53 like a saddlebag or you have a nice fucking end table there. Turn the light off, watch a movie. Yeah. Yeah. No, you don't want that rock and roll shit. You used to have the, I don't know, I was thinking for my stepdad's house. It was the thing that went on the armrest. Like when to have the, I don't know, I think it came from my stepdad's house. It was the thing that went on the armrest. Like when he moved in, you know, like the armrest, you said you put the thing over that. Yeah, saddlebag. Saddlebag.
Starting point is 00:15:13 Throw your magazines in there. This was a duck head. And it was like, yeah, I know exactly. No, I didn't even go, man, I love that fucking thing. Yeah. I thought I was Steve Irwin. Steve Irwin playing with that thing. I remember the chairs that would come with the little pocket on the side.
Starting point is 00:15:27 It had like elastic on it. That was like a lazy boy type thing. Yeah, those were always blown out. Oh, blown out. That was more like a chair like that. Exactly. Not like a lazy boy, but the original reclined. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:40 Because lazy boys are big puffy, John. You are your grandma's house or a great aunt's house.'d always find a couple of fucking root beater scotch root beer barrels in it. Yeah, these things are like maternity pants, dude Why did those ladies always have so much candy? There's fat little shits like us running around yeah Try to keep us at bay. It was either that or make you lasagna Hey kid go get a sugar eye and pass out shout out to to my Aunt Mary Catherine. Always had the candy dish stocked. Like the president was coming. Good shit, though. Um, I wanted to ask you this. Ask me this. Um, I cleaned out my wallet the other day.
Starting point is 00:16:17 Got rid of some cards that had expired and stuff like that. Move some things around. And I'm just reaching here. I'm just asking the question. Do you have, everyone, I hate you. Do you have a, Billy Joel Ticket, yeah, I got an extra. Who needs to?
Starting point is 00:16:31 Do you have, Do you just sell them? There we go. Now, if I say yes, I'll go with you and you sell them. What's my action coming my way on that? You know, because you're just saying yes to sell them. I'm saying let's go back in time, and I didn't give you a whole bunch of shit
Starting point is 00:16:46 about going to the console. I'm gonna, they were, first of all, they were a birthday gift to me, so I'm not gonna give you a part of my birthday gift. Hmm, interesting. Yeah, okay. Birthday gift, I got eight months late, by the way. If you gave me one, and I sold them,
Starting point is 00:16:58 I managed to do it. I tell man, I'm sitting next to, if I can, I'm gonna do this there. Do you have an order of your cards in your wallet? Like, does it, does the way they're stuffed in together, which I assume they're stuffed in together? Is there a system there or is it just a free for all? It's pretty much a free for all.
Starting point is 00:17:18 That's the way I was up until a couple of days ago. It's tough. Yeah, I try to keep business and personal on two sides. That's the first one up. What? I mean, I've used the business one. So lead off hitter. Yeah, talking about.
Starting point is 00:17:33 That's the closer. That's first man through the door. He's everything. Step right over his body and finish off this payment. Get me groceries. I only got you about halfway. Put the rest on here. No, I don't know. It's chaos. I like it. I'll just try to think of like, all right, this, but like, I don't use the company debit card ever anymore. Everything just goes on the credit card. Sure. So it's like
Starting point is 00:17:55 things that I don't use just fall to the back. The front two, because I got like a little side-by-side thing. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. That's just whatever. Yeah. I have to just whatever you have. I have to pull them all out to make sure they're all there before I use one. That's wild. It drives me crazy. You keep it, you keep it, whatever. I rock the phone case. I got the phone case with a slide out back
Starting point is 00:18:16 and I'll tell you what, it was the debit, was the lead off and now I switched up to the AMX. Now I got that platinum. You gotta get them points. But here's the thing, you keep everything in like, you lose the phone, you're fucked. Okay, but you're double fuck. Here's my defense.
Starting point is 00:18:30 My wallet doesn't have a GPS on it. I'm not chemically addicted to my wallet, like I am my cell phone. And he also doesn't drink. You lose your phone when you're drinking. You never like, oh, I just randomly lost my phone. The only time I, you know, you're always like, I got my, you gotta have your phone.
Starting point is 00:18:46 True. So that's like, that's the first thing you go for. If you go from here to over there, you go, where's my phone? Yeah, I haven't lost a phone since I quit drinking. Yeah, there you go. I don't know if I've ever lost one. I did, I lost, I lost two or three in a row
Starting point is 00:19:00 within a couple of months of each other. One was stolen and I lost the other two. I saw the guy walking away with the stuff. Oh yeah, you told me, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I still don't believe you about that. On less third street or whatever. Soldered for drug, buddy. Sold the Iggy Pop.
Starting point is 00:19:17 Man, I lost my first smartphone. It was like a shitty Android. Lost it. I had to go back to the Nokia with the T9 texas. It was brutal. I was thinking, go back to the Nokia with the T9 texas brutal I wish we could go back to the time where they were all burner phones It didn't fucking matter. What do you mean burner phones? It wouldn't if you like when it was the motor rollers are like the flip phones
Starting point is 00:19:35 If you lost one of those who gives a shit all you lost was your contacts It wasn't your whole fucking life in there plus somebody hacking into it you You get another one of those at the mall in two seconds. You lost your contacts. That's all it was. And your snake high score. Yeah, nice shit. Three. Who gives this shit? Never. 55. Never forget. You remember the important numbers back then anyway. It didn't matter. Now you lose it. It's fucking. You're done, it's over. Uh, not read no, because that information's not stored in the phone. It's stored in your Apple ID, which is somewhere else, you can just access on a new phone. That's true, I just got it. It's not like, that would be insane if that was their solution of like, hey, put your whole
Starting point is 00:20:17 life in here, if you lose it, you're fun. Well, I stored in a cloud. I actually, it wasn't until maybe like a year or two ago where I started with the cloud. I didn't trust the cloud for a while. There's a lot of stuff I don't trust. I didn't trust the cloud. I don't trust the talk to text. I don't trust this. I got a new computer. I haven't put fucking tape on it yet. That's crazy. How you doing, buddy? Fucking they're fucking peeping me. Fucking Putin just watching it. Yeah. Yeah. I don't trust talk to text. I don't do any of that shit Cuz I'll be talking shit on something the big thing is if you're talking shit on someone
Starting point is 00:20:50 I immediately my wife makes fun because I'll grab my phone and look at it to make sure I'm not calling them and put it down Come like fucking fully fucking that piece of shit I say yeah, no where was I I was trashed someone so hard recently that I put my phone on airplane. Yeah. Wow. I still heard the call. Damn. I need to know who that was.
Starting point is 00:21:12 Was it part of the organization? No, no, no, no. First initials. No, no, no, no, no, no. Comedian. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's a lie. So I made it all up.
Starting point is 00:21:22 But we're vamping. It's radio. No, man. That must have been some good Woo-woo Run and put your phone upstairs Faraday box getting into the car you turn the radio up. Holy shit Just see it from the outside. I'm like what? All right, let's quit screwing around around gang this is what we call the family episode
Starting point is 00:21:48 out here at Tuddies. We answer your questions on the air here just for the homies and the bozos. Fuck that up. Okay the big man's on the first. All right gang let's quit screwin I'm leaving all this Pump fake you want me to do it? No, I don't want you just for it. No, I didn't or your chair's about to break Believe that That's why Hans was sniffing around back there. Yeah, well, I got a little gase leak going on Gang that's either here nor there is the fucking family episode. We're gonna be answering your questions right on the air Kubal take it away
Starting point is 00:22:31 Fathered me for some reason All right, this guys when you sign up for patreon will answer your garbage questions audio you choose All right, this one's from you did did you fall you did I just saw you make eye you farted all Dude I apologize. You can't be farting mid show man. Seriously. You've done it. Oh Folks will be right back after these important messages can't let's talk about that liquid IV. Liquid IV, so let's talk about turning a bad night around. Let me tell you something. It's not just for athletes.
Starting point is 00:23:11 It's for drunks too. Yeah, you get hammered at night and try to get your head on straight before you go work a brunch. Yeah. So you don't lose it on some customer, some kid looking for some chicken fingers. Yeah, I love liquid IV.
Starting point is 00:23:22 As everybody knows, I had got real sick a few weeks ago a few months ago Nurse me back to health. I was sucking on that thing like mother's milk. Yeah, baby Hydration it gives you everything you everything you need they got 12 delicious flavors like guava strawberry Try them all find your favorite baby. I'm the orange kind of the citrus kind of guy who's a pineapple all day proper Hydration is essential to your health and liquid IV is the number one powdered hydration brand in America it's taken over I got family members that don't even know of it they don't even listen to the show to using it love it real people real flavor real hydrating grab your liquid IV in bulk nationwide at Costco or you can get 20% off when you go to liquid IV dot com and use the code garbage
Starting point is 00:24:01 day go that's 20% off anything when you shop better hydration today using promo code garbage at liquidiv.com. Do it. Kid, let's talk about man scaped. Man scaped man scaped man scaped. Let's talk about Father's Day being right around the corner and what better way to show your dad you love them than by cleaning up the front yard on them.
Starting point is 00:24:19 Bald Eagle all day, baby. And the halfway backyard too, whatever he's into it. Hey, haven't used it on my face. Gang, do yourself a favor, go over there and pick up a lawn mower 4.0, one of the best trimmer you can possibly get. Keep the yard cleaned down there. Keep the nuts fresh.
Starting point is 00:24:35 Yeah, baby, they got cutting edge ceramic blade, a travel lock and an LED spotlight. So dad can shave his balls in the dark if that's how he gets down. You got to cut that, got to beat the bars on the energy built though Your dad already has grooming route if you're gonna go for the glowing balls If you're that already has his grooming routine down hook him up with the man'scape boxers to or some
Starting point is 00:24:57 Cologne to get him smelling as great as he looks baby Here's the turkey get 20% off and free shipping at man'scape.com use the turkey. Get 20% off and free shipping at manscafe.com. Use the code garbage at 20% off and free shipping at manscafe.com, promo code garbage. Don't forget that you came from your dad's balls this year. Show your original home some love with some ins. He's good. Go in. That's good copy.
Starting point is 00:25:20 All right, let's put screw in around. And we're back, fully just cleared the room. All right, this one's froming around and we're back fully just cleared the room All right, this one's from ice socks chairman and CEO $10 buzz over here never have one red how many lanes of traffic can you cross on foot before it's trash So a lady crossing a busy five lane road no crosswalk just froggering it out Man seeing somebody walking on the highway. That's basically... We'll give you a chill.
Starting point is 00:25:49 We've talked about this a lot. That's crazy. I've been in those situations where you don't have a car, you gotta get a pack of... It's never though, you're never going to talk to your wealth manager. Listen. You're going to get a pack of heaters, get some gear, or get the work. Listen, 80s, 90s, early 2000s, that was a different time. Sure.
Starting point is 00:26:11 You can't be doing that now. That's crazy. I mean, people do it, people have to do it. All right. It sucks. I would say three lanes each way. That's no. And no divider.
Starting point is 00:26:24 You have one of those dividers, you're screwed. That's too much. Three each way. That's no. And no divider. You have one of those dividers. You're screwed. That's too much. Three, three each way. Three each way? No, you're saying, I think that's too much. You think so. Six lanes of traffic? No. You got a walk to a crosswalk at that point. Or at least a light if it's like a
Starting point is 00:26:41 bypass. If you're just roll dog in it between exits. No way. Gotta jump over the wall at the end. Figure a skin walker. I can hardly cross the road. Can't add a year dude. Now, I would say, it depends, if it's like a highway highway.
Starting point is 00:26:58 What is a highway exactly? Because they're expanding roads all the time. Well, I do think there's like, what I would call like a bypass or a boulevard, which is like two to three lanes. Queens boulevard, let's use that. I don't know that. No.
Starting point is 00:27:13 It's a real loose terminology. A highway is a main road, especially one connecting major towns or cities. I have it in interstate. That goes state to state. That's crazy. Sure. If you're crossing something that has the blue and the red logo, that's bad news.
Starting point is 00:27:30 Yeah, you can't be on 95. You're jammed up. Yeah, you're a real old road. You shouldn't be crossing. Oh, there's a toll involved. Well, no, I'm not saying you're fucking waiting in the easy pass line. Just saying you shouldn't be jumping in with a toll. You gotta be doing it by a live just I've done it, though, man, it's short.
Starting point is 00:27:47 It's fucking as you're doing it. You're like this. This is not good. I you're like really analyzing how you got the I always had to do it when I was doing shit places on the road without a car. Remember in Lancaster Lancaster, I was doing a whatever the club is out there. Where's the sheets? A couple of right across the way there?
Starting point is 00:28:06 You think it's in the parking lot. It's fucking amused out of the nine-way night. Dude on the side of the turnpike It was like I didn't cross the turnpike, but I was fucking I was hop in some mediums to get to a fucking You know whatever go get a Sammy late night. Oh, that's a good question. Yeah, that's a tough look Don't be doing it. Yeah, fine. Okay, Uber or something. mean, I guess I guess you I guess Uber probably took a lot of that out if that's an option The Uber's not an option. Does that make sense? If crossing the highways on the table The Uber's off the table. Does that make sense? I see what you're saying, but Sure, I see what you're saying of course, but yeah, that ain't great. You shouldn't be doing that This one's from Greg $10 homie is it garbage to mix Bud Light and Bud wiser to make bud medium
Starting point is 00:28:57 That's pretty fucking good dude. Have you talked to anybody about this bud mediums bud make a pullman of the fire Talk to anybody about this. Bud mediums. Bud make a pull out of the fire. That's pretty good. That's real good. A bud, did you look in up that? What was Bud select? That might have been in there.
Starting point is 00:29:14 That might have been in the medium. Oh, that was watching Devil Wars Proud of the other day. And that's what they were drinking was Bud select. They dude, Bud select really went on it all out of salt on pushing that shit. That's tough sucked. It was like the black, it was like a darker was like a darker bottle crown on it. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know who they were fighting who they were trying to compete with that. I was probably trying to get that middle ground of like Bud Heat Bud Heavy is made
Starting point is 00:29:36 a more of a resurgent as of recently of the past like decade. Beeradvocate.com rates Bud Selec 51 awful. Yeah, but I'll tell you what what's bud wiser A bud heavy cold bottle. We had a couple of this weekend. I've been drinking Delicious, it's all I've been drinking man Something about that glass gets it. I was like where we get weekend. We were with the boys. Oh, that's right with that Yeah 57 also awful these guys Oh, you can fuck out of here with that fucking bullshit. What murder He's a great guy
Starting point is 00:30:17 Thank you to the 10,000 people who've tagged me in that clip what murder What about the murder? What murder? He was a good guy. He's boys the best. He's all quite set up. They just said that. Oh God, that's fucking alright. Let's see here. Bud mediums. Bud mediums. I don't hate it because I do love Bud heavies
Starting point is 00:30:40 and I do love BLs. Something in the middle. That's alright. Watch the calories a little bit. Bud heavies and I do love BLs. Some in the middle. That's all right. That's all right. Watch the calories a little bit. Sure. You know, keep your wits about you for an extra 20 minutes or whatever.
Starting point is 00:30:55 Bud mediums. That's all right, mediums. No, someone no one's done that yet. That's gotta feel like that's gotta be something. They've never done that with that marketing. I'm just saying, I'm sure like people haven't done that, you know, out there, someone hasn't figured that out, like on the golf course or fucking something.
Starting point is 00:31:12 Sure. You know, hey, we do bud mediums over here, half and half, and a more or something. Pictures of bud mediums, half off or something. Dude, there's nothing better than a picture of you. Think so. Cold bottle, cold can. Yeah, but's nothing better than a picture of your think so cold bottle cold can Yeah, but I never had a good picture. Let me say it. Let me say really never whoa never It was always plastic or it sucked or the plastic doesn't matter the taps were gross
Starting point is 00:31:40 Never had a good picture of your huh, swear to god Never had a good picture of your huh swear to God never had a great Keg either except for one time you're nuts I'm telling you grow up under a rock this fucking guy telling you me and my boys never knew really how to get the To do the pump right to do the Keg right never got it right. Uh-huh. Yeah, I don't know I was I was pretty handy with a tap used to have a tap back in the day obviously got a house and college out of a tap sure But a pitcher I think I we like to pitch her so much She or dirtball we're dirt balls one it was a better bang for your buck It was about eight beer or I was a four beers in there. I think like four point something beer four beers
Starting point is 00:32:24 and It was the speed you could consume. I'll give you that right. It was like, you're a part of like an IPA in the bottle. I poured into a glass so I can get it down the gullet. I was so I was in Philly two weeks ago, whatever that was. Fucking we went out to dinner, order to beer. And next guy next to me ordered a beer, was a main lunch, which is like the best,
Starting point is 00:32:48 they say the best IPA you can get. Look how I'll do one. Everybody got one, she goes, you want a pitcher? I said, do we, every doing pitchers, IPAs at dinner? Oh, maybe that's why I threw up that night. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Maybe it wasn't the food poisoning,
Starting point is 00:33:01 like I thought it wasn't the calamari. Um, what do you got to eat them? On which oh, I don't know you were looking like you had something I have a few things actually I hit up I got a couple things lined up. All right. Have you heard of any of these Budweiser makes a ton of beers that I've never heard of lay them on me Budweiser Supreme that's got to be European black and gold can Budweiser Supreme. Yeah, sounds like a chili's dish Black and gold can Budweiser Supreme. Yeah, sounds like a chili's dish. Yeah Only available Mexican restaurants Budweiser select 55 premium light I do remember a 55 because that's I think the NGD came out with 64 and they were number and it was a number It was a fucking yeah, it was a nuclear race before
Starting point is 00:33:41 Was an arm. They're not really around anymore. Milagin you and draft. I don't think all right But this one sounds like something to get at Starbucks, but why is there nitro reserve gold? well I don't put you to sleep. I don't know what it is. Yeah damn This is especially golden logger brewed with a hundred percent American barley included toasted caramel malt for a bold flavorful taste Nah never had any of that shit. No a bold, flavorful taste. Nah, never had any of that shit. No.
Starting point is 00:34:05 No, that's, uh... My dad dabbled in red dog for a little bit. We didn't even do that. We were a killin' zyrish red. I remember we had that in a christening one time. Everybody got fuckin' crippled. Yeah, it looks like your shit in blood. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Come out my cousin duck cracked open a keg at that man. We were fucking seeing cross-eyed that and smittix or whatever That was real fucking potato shit. I was real fucking collie T-shirt if you ask me
Starting point is 00:34:31 Smittix get me a smittix. Uh, now stick with a mick alone I gotta drive in a week I got a test coming up next month. I'm taking a SAT at the end of the month I got a test coming up next month. I'm taking a SAT at the end of the month Smittix was that shit was Yeah, the 90s 90s and the 2000s got real funky with the beer the branding of like that's got it in half and we'll do this We'll throw a number on it put my feet in there. Yeah, little lemon. Yeah, that was none of them ever fucking stuck though now You ever go somewhere where someone's drinking shark top? Shock top.
Starting point is 00:35:08 Shock top. Shock top. Land shark and and Shock top. Yeah, that's like a bud medium. It's half and half in both cases. I know the place is gonna suck. Land sharks.
Starting point is 00:35:18 Land sharks and shut up. Shout out to the land cheatle. They are fantastic. At a restaurant. Anywhere. I don't do with those hit. First of all, you know who makes them. Budweiser.
Starting point is 00:35:29 Jimmy Buffett. Uh, that's right. That guy knows the way around a pop. All right. Pretty good. Jimmy Buffett. He's got that too. Feel like you told me that before.
Starting point is 00:35:38 For sure. Do we've had this conversation where I yelled at you about how good and get me the net worth on Jimmy B. Outrageous. I'm sure that's take a guess everybody put up everybody put up a hundred million dollars whoever's closing 500 million dollars Half a bill no way 350 that's what I'm saying Don't wonder why your dad doesn't like you give me one of them I'll do I'll do four forty Millionaire yeah, man wow plus you got to think fucking his cousins probably gonna leave a couple of bucks I don't know why your dad doesn't like you. Give me one of them, I do. I'll do four 40. Billionaire dude.
Starting point is 00:36:05 Yeah man. Wow. Plus you gotta think fucking his cousins probably gonna leave him a couple of bucks. He's not his cousin. Yeah he is. Warren Buffett is Jimmy Buffett's cousin. That's some, Shmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmishmish Telling you all to marker me and please let me be right. There's no way that's all dirt bag
Starting point is 00:36:25 I am I thought they were cause somebody told me they were cousins like a decade ago Shout out to Pete. Oh, no, but they did they're not but they did take a 23 and me DNA test to see if they were Wow, which is fun. Wow, they're not yeah, they're so buds though You lose your man you probably were running your mouth at Christmas parties all fucked up on landsharks Yeah, I was Fuck that just dude. Hey, Johnny Crockett's cousin Do you ever hear someone tell you something you just believe it man that rattled me the Mandela effect That's not lies lies or something wrong something wrong. Yeah, I had bad information. That's not the Mandela effect all right butterfly effect
Starting point is 00:37:06 Still not that. Auto tune. After effect reverb. What a filter on it. What murderers. Let me be saying that forever. Man, that dude Pete that I used to work construction was lied to me. man Pete that dude Pete that I used to work construction was lied to me. Oh Pete the construction worker didn't know what the fuck he was talking about. He was a good Plumber what plumber
Starting point is 00:37:38 Stolen copper what stolen copper? It's a good guy Damn I've been telling people that for years. Oh, man. I can't lose the first time I got tripped up on it. I have a couple of those. I told people for a long time. I told people for a long time that the guy who played the professor on Gilligan's Island was the zodiac killer. Well, that was a thing. Right. They proved it pretty quick.
Starting point is 00:38:00 Yeah, I mean, you- You sent me from run of my- Yeah, but I don't know. You know, who really did it It was the skipper Yeah, that was there was that kind of he like had been in the towns or something or yeah shooting movie It'll like lined up with his movie shooting yeah schedule or whatever something What murder all right Warren Buffett j Buffett or cousin. That's devastating dude That's where you know it's shifty
Starting point is 00:38:27 Brothers sisters is one thing when somebody says they're cousins. What do you mean? What cousin? A very big family With two billionaires what family is two billionaires? Probably most families that have billionaires Yeah, but that's different. They started out as billionaires probably most families that have billionaires. Yeah, but that's different. They started out as billionaires. There wasn't two families that were both poor that became billionaires. Hmm. The Winkle Valses. They came, they became billionaires together and I doubt that they're billionaires. No, they were the first Bitcoin billionaires. They took all that Facebook money and put it in Bitcoin during the first surge. Did they? I believe so. I don't know what to believe in here.
Starting point is 00:39:05 I'm here. Sucking guy. I'll tell you if I can get a read on that. I believe they were the first crypto billionaires. Lunch this to a man swinging a mixer. Kippy over here. No, Kippy nailed it. Get it.
Starting point is 00:39:18 First Bitcoin billionaires. Uh huh. Good. There you go. Go ahead. Put that in your little pipe and bite down. Will you jump? I fucking take my back my invitation to the Billy Jibble concert.
Starting point is 00:39:28 Okay, but let's talk about pretty litter. Pretty litter. You ever walk into somebody's place and they got cats and you're like, I gotta eat in this. I used to do it in your place, not no more. Cause we got pretty litter. I know.
Starting point is 00:39:40 The kitty cat loves it. I gotta be honest with you. It's absolutely fantastic. Pretty litter's crystals even change color to indicate any early signs of potential illness in the cat. How about that technology? I know. Apparently I have feline diabetes. How about that ad read to a kid really nailed that. Dan, you want to take care of your pets? You want to take care of your kitty cat? Get yourself some pretty litter and straighten him out. Yeah, yeah. Pretty litter even ships
Starting point is 00:40:09 for free right to your door. So you'll never have to run out and you'll have to lug one of those huge plastic containers from the grocery store like a bow sell. Yeah. Pretty litter has helped eliminate cat box stink in in the big man's house specifically. It can do the same for you. Make the switch today. Go to prettyliter.com slash garbage and use code garbage to save 20% on your first order. That's prettyliter.com slash garbage, code garbage, to save 20% off your first order.
Starting point is 00:40:36 One more time, prettyliter.com slash garbage, code garbage, terms and conditions apply, see the site for details. Do it. Back to the show. Back to the show. All right, let's see here. This is from Jared Newsub.
Starting point is 00:40:50 Never have one read. At any point, did you, do you or do you currently have a cupboard filled with assorted license plastic cups? License plastic cups. Like a Disney character types, our movie type stuff. I mean, we talked about our favorite cups as kids and all that stuff. uh... you know character types are movie type stuff i mean we talked about our favorite cups is kids and all that stuff those have kind of
Starting point is 00:41:09 been faded out in at my mom's shorted dishwasher changes those after chemically changes those after a while it really ripens them like fine wine yeah within the cantor perfect the cascade taste lingers on them a little. I understand that. I know, but I understand that, but I'm saying it then gets to a point where you're, it's not spright in there.
Starting point is 00:41:31 It's, you know, it's a good, you know, it's a good combination. All right. This is real specific and this is real nuance. Okay. Mm-hmm. A weathered couple like that, a little bit faded. You can smell the dish washing soap in the bottom of it. Then you add the ice from the door of the freezer.
Starting point is 00:41:51 That kind of had that distinct smell. The hazelune shape. Put a little Pepsi on that. You get down to the bottom of that and you put your nose in it and the cold of the ice and the smell of the cascade and a little bit of essence of the door of the refrigerator. Man, you're a different kind of fat. Yeah. That was real tough.
Starting point is 00:42:14 That was a thing. That was a thing. Fucking drinking dishwasher in the dirt. It was a thing. It was a thing. You know what, aren't bad as a snack? SOS pads. It was better when it wasn't dishwasher.
Starting point is 00:42:24 It was just hand-dished. It was a little more mild. I never lived in a life with that. But we were, when I, when we- We never had an aunt that didn't have a dishwasher? I'm sure, but not that I could pull, if I, you know, not like that. No, I'm sure we did, but we always had a dishwasher.
Starting point is 00:42:42 You know, it was real hot for a while. You remember the cups that had like the, it was almost like paneling that went around this Those things we had them in my dad's grip we had them in my dad's and I wanted they were little chutes a little short Yeah, we couldn't use them why the kids couldn't they were plastic. No, oh you're talking about plastic Well, I know the glass once you're talking about. Pine glasses that had sides. Yeah, I mean, yeah, that's, that's, I mean, that's how my nose coming. How about his well been fucking water for crystal?
Starting point is 00:43:10 Sure, sure. Oh, the little plastic, but they were like Ikea's or something. Yeah, man. I always felt like they should be holding candles. Sure, you know what I mean? I didn't like drinking out of them. Plus they rough jump on the fucking inside of your, sometimes you cut a little action.
Starting point is 00:43:28 And they would get dropped enough that they would like shatter, but they would like, you could see the plastic splinter in it. Oh, okay, so that's the same model, the different kind of plastic. I like that kind of plastic. That's summer plastic to me. The kind of clear stuff. That's a little bit harder. It's not that flexible. I don't like that. Oh, I loved it. No
Starting point is 00:43:49 Summer plastic. I don't know why cuz you're crazy. It felt like that those were things that got broken out in the summer. You know It's great that you'll still get sometimes it's some diners is like the yellow Water glass. Oh sure. Yeah, the plastic one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes you'll get the glass one. Yeah. Not the pizza hot ones. Yellow, yellow glass? Yeah, that's weird.
Starting point is 00:44:13 Like gold. You know what I'm talking about? What am I a jerk of? I wouldn't trust that, I don't think. What do you mean? Yellow diner cup, glass? With, yes, I do. It's similar build to the red ones.
Starting point is 00:44:26 Yeah. That's what I just said. That's similar to the red ones. I think glass. Yeah, I said plastic, but you could, they do come in glass. I said not the red ones. That's what I said.
Starting point is 00:44:35 No, they're similar. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, those are all right. Yeah. Now, Patty doesn't have anything like that. What she does have now is some things that she bought for like a party that would be like summary drinks Does that make sure
Starting point is 00:44:52 Yeah, there's a lot of them floating around uh-huh and a couple Notre Dame glasses that are thin Oh, man, they hold a diet coke like the Hoover Dam Yeah, we don't have anything a lot of shitty to go cup coffee cups at my mom's currently at the Nisa's house. Then down the shore, we got a lot of Stella glasses that I were either probably have stolen or bought. They came with like a gift six pack type thing. They're stolen.
Starting point is 00:45:20 And maybe I got three mugs in a stack of solo cups. Jesus Christ. You're drinking the solo cups at the end of the day Oh my god, they infrat party What are you having to fridge? What? Drink wise Nothing
Starting point is 00:45:32 Big old bread of filter That's what you're drinking with your drinking water out of a solo cup? Oh yeah No ice? Nah Yikes That's the manifesto going so That's crazy
Starting point is 00:45:43 When was the last time you changed that filter? Well, when I bought it, when I bought it, I made a big to do with you about how I was gonna be on top of it, I was gonna change it. You said in one year, I bet you won't have changed it. And I'm here to tell you, I think about that all the time while I'm not changing it. Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Starting point is 00:45:59 Can I tell you this? There you go. Give me my money, we put money on it. That's probably that motherfucker dripping slow, dude. Can I tell you, you don't really need it. Give me my money. We put money on it. Probably that motherfucker drippin' slow, dude. Can I tell you, you don't really need it. It's just that it's cold. It's fridge cleanser. Yeah, the fridge cleans it out anyway.
Starting point is 00:46:14 It just tastes better in the fridge. It's just a fridge water. Every time I fill it up, I think. I think it does. I think about you. You feel like you're drinking cleaner water if it's cold in a picture. Oh, yeah. Yeah, let. Just get rid of that thing Plus it's a pain in the ass. We have the one that
Starting point is 00:46:29 It goes in there and you have to that's what I got turn it Yeah, but that does it as it's going out Does that make sense the filter is is where the spik it is dude? It's it's like I'm watching a fucking toddler take a leak. It's fucking brutal. Tell me, we got the fucking doctor's office. John. Yeah. It's great. Fresh clean water all day every day. What water? You think I'm not screaming at you that screaming at you for the next three weeks? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I don't know. Because if you're gonna go through all this work, why not just do something a little better than the pizza lunchables unless that's how you get your rocks off?
Starting point is 00:47:26 We're put in a toaster oven like a gentleman. Something like you're doing the extra step. You can, you know, why stop there then type thing? That's what I'm saying. Let me ask you this. It's me. If you got windshield wipers, would you put them on the other way? Or would you do as the fucking manufacturer recommends?
Starting point is 00:47:44 Doesn't recommend you a microwave it? No, they recommend the eat them cold and stop being a fucking pussy you don't put that shit in the microwave you to cold the goddamn lunch room I thought he was mad at me a little bit she had no wise what microwave what lunch also the red taxes what murders I do get I do I do understand church and it up a little bit, but I don't know that's bad. Yeah, I would say no. I would say yes and trashy. I would say I would say you don't need it. I would say just have a cold like a gentleman. That's that's that's that's
Starting point is 00:48:22 just me. You do whatever you want. Obviously, I fucking love you. Enjoy yourself. But come on. Yeah, that's tough. All right, this one's from Riley. Have you ever refilled the Gatorade nipple tip bottles after you drank all the Gatorade? I guess with water, like you're using it as like a workout bottle vehicle, which I never liked those to begin with there's not enough in there. Kippy, let me tell you something. We've never... Right, we're right here. The fucking dishwasher detergent top on drinks. Get the fuck out of here with that shit. What do you feel like I'm drinking palm oil, the nipple?
Starting point is 00:49:03 Oh, I tell you, you went back to the dishwasher soda. No, no, no, no. First, I thought we were I thought this was fighting. No, it's you and me right there. I can't get a read on you today. Big fella. Somebody get him his meds. Me and you. Oh, yeah, that's not enough. It's you never finish it. And it's also like the, like the, yeah, I feel like I'm fucking big fat baby. And here's the problem. The bottle size is a little bit bigger. It's perfect.
Starting point is 00:49:32 It's like goldilocks, it's perfect. But I just take it off and drink at it like a fucking dickhead. Just get rid of that shit, man. Wait, is it bigger than the 20 ounce bottle? It's a little bit bigger. Yeah, they're the perfect size. The Estonsea.
Starting point is 00:49:45 I think they're just taller. The Estonsea sport or the smart water sport are the perfect size, but they put those fucking stupid things on there. Nobody wants to use it. I talk about your Gatorade or all of them. Everything. I was just using them as a reference.
Starting point is 00:50:00 Gotcha. Yeah, no, the size thing. A Gatorade one? Wait, wait, you're not talking about a gatorade green bottle that they give you on when they come over on the side. They have they have They were like the first ones to put the nipple slip on. Yeah, that those things suck They stink It should they've I think they're the same size as the 20s. They're just skinnier and taller
Starting point is 00:50:20 They might be 24. Yeah, maybe it's a psychological thing But no, the water companies are different. The water companies are totally, the water brands are totally different. And the one with the nipple top is the best. It's not the 16 ounce air and it's not the 32 ounce air. Yeah, it's not the fucking big. The thing that doesn't fit in the cup holder in the car, then you got it on the seat, then you hit the brakes and it falls over.
Starting point is 00:50:42 Then the kids are crying. Now she's leaving you. All right, nipple top nipple top gatorade come in a 24 ounces so the other ones are probably 20 right like a standard gatorade standard standard gate we'll get you 20 ounces and then you got the big boys I get go big boy but hold on we're talking is the big boy the little fat one yes oh that's that's 32 right that's it. I also used to run deals like two for four or five on them away dude you'd be do I would be doing fucking 1400 calories in the car just fucking taking my fucking my daily minimum in let me tell you something liquid that scream in cold Gatorade is a tough tough tough to be yeah now for sure that's fucking that's all right
Starting point is 00:51:27 Let me tie it let me tie it here All right, let's see here. This is from Mikey whispers. Yeah, do you or anyone in your family have license plates hung inside your home? We have one here. We do because that is a trash thing. Yeah, I don't think we ever had one I wanted one couple in the garage People had him in the one. Couple in the garage. People had them in the garage. Had a few in the garage. Yeah, I always wanted one. I never and uncle collected them or something like that. Never had one. Yeah. I remember I remember we had to do a report on like a state and like fucking fourth grade or whatever. Mm-hmm. And I did Nebraska because my uncle lived there.
Starting point is 00:52:02 I don't know why I just like fucking pick Nebraska. And I was yeah, I was like oh, yeah, just like send me a license plate You had to like bring in stuff or something and he's like I'm like, yeah, you know Just send me some like Nebraska stuff, and he's like what do you want? I was like I was like I don't know man like whatever you got He's like me want to go studio license plate or something. I'm like no that'd be crazy But I tell that's what I totally want it. I always wanted a license plate. They're cool, man But I tell that's what I totally want it. I always wanted a license plate. They're cool, man Avinity plate something get one on the keya
Starting point is 00:52:32 Also that reminds me I got to change my fucking cuz I got new tags You never changed them that was like to know I changed them that was that was a long time I changed my didn't change my insurance Jesus That got me and also I never changed my registration. They've been jamming me up every time I get ticked. Fuck, that just reminded me. I gotta get my car inspected. Shit. Are you inspected in New York or Pennsylvania?
Starting point is 00:52:53 New York. Okay. Yeah, fucking gentlemen. Yeah, it's expensive. What does that mean? No, it was like 13. It's literally $13. It took the guy four minutes.
Starting point is 00:53:02 Oh, yeah, I remember you told me. Yeah, I was, I think it was 13.5 That's it. That's what my mom was saying. You're gonna get it Where I just turn up there the insurance I'll be through the road I don't fucking know either way. I'm a fucking idiot. Hey, no, you're not You're a good guy. He's an idiot. What idiot? All right, let's see, this one's the last thing we're doing it. No, it's not. Ah, this one's from Thai, $10, soldier, long time, first time.
Starting point is 00:53:32 I strip my own hotel sheets and put them in a pile with the towels embarrassed of any and all stains. I never tip, but feel like I'm doing a lot of the work trash or class. Um, I gotta say, that's your meat in the middle, I get it, but if they're that dirty, you should be dropping a two tree bucks.
Starting point is 00:53:53 If they're that stained, someone's gotta pick up your poop stains. You got a tip. You got a tip. If it wasn't for the reason, I don't know what he's doing in there, but if it was just looking out, that's to be the biggest pain in the ass in the room is fucking dealing with that shit.
Starting point is 00:54:10 If you're just looking out, but there's, but yeah, what am I talking about? Yeah, they, not the sheets. The towels you're supposed to put in a pile and then leave a couple of bucks. You got a tip, you're right. Yeah, you got to, you put your organize everything. Yeah, you don't live like Annie mall. I use every towel Oh, yeah every towel. Oh, you know what I did I was just I stayed when I stayed in Philly
Starting point is 00:54:31 I had fucking Hansi Ponzi, Shyamalanma, Donzi and I was letting them sleep in bed with me But we'd walk in the city in Philly and his paws would get all dirty So I would use the towels to clean his paw and they were like fucking black by the end Did I wear I ran through every hand towel every face tell the thing that you for the shower everything. Yeah, they don't. Yeah, no, yeah, just they bleach it. Shit. Click it on.
Starting point is 00:54:53 They send them out, I think they don't do them there. Probably got a service. Yeah, maybe I don't know. Yeah. Um, all right, let's see us do two or three more. Sofakine garbage, long time only, never have one red as a garbage, your mom still keeps some of your, a lock of your hair that was a rat tail.
Starting point is 00:55:11 Damn. Yikes. Yikes. Well, you weren't allowed to have a rat tail. Where are you? How long were you like, did you get for a rat tail? Yeah. That was how trashy you were.
Starting point is 00:55:24 Cause this is how long the parents would let the tail go. Yeah, not a, not a mullet and not a rat tail, but a tail. A rat tail. They were called rat tails. I had one. No, a rat tail, a rat tail was braided up. No, it could just be a long in the back. No, they'd be, you could bring a rat tail. Not the whole way, just down like the nape of the neck. Oh, God. Yeah, that's right. I had short and then I had the You had a rat tail big time. You guys look like a teenage Jedi What age are we talking? Oh elementary school North Carolina man. Yeah, I'll give you that to South
Starting point is 00:56:01 That was we you that is real Southern shit. Oh, yeah. Like, like, and like you would get, may even if you came in, if you were just, I associated that with your daddy and around and your mom works a lot. No, that was your trailer parker Southern to us when we were, when we back. State kids were doing that though.
Starting point is 00:56:18 You were a skate kid. No, that was dirt bag. That's dirt bag. Really? No, that's before skate. That ain't skate. Hmm, that's like seven, six, seven, eight years old. No, that's before skate. That ain't skate. Hmm. That's like seven, six, seven, eight years old rockin' a rat tail. And we would, you would, even if
Starting point is 00:56:31 you came in just wolf in it, I remember one time I was wolfin' a little bit. That kid for sure had cool later. Yeah. Yeah. And cut off Gene shorts on. Paradezi dukes. But I remember the people were call me Rat Tail one time because I was just wolfing in the back. I went home and was like, phew. Yo, it's hit the barber. Fucking. They're calling me a hillbilly at school.
Starting point is 00:56:53 Fuck outta you. I'm gonna ride the super-gratric grate. I'm gonna get cleaned up. Yeah. I think there was a time when we did some lines here in the early 90s. We had like one or two lines here for speed. Yeah, clearly. I put lines in my hair. And I had a number one that famously I've said, I had my down the fucking church. Yeah, my mother. You even They were always big on linking it to whatever they were
Starting point is 00:57:34 Christmas sure it's fucking what are you like just shut up? I'm an idiot Think I'm thinking what's looking at my hair You guys were the age where you were putting them in your eyebrows, right? The lines in your eyebrows? No. Who was doing that? Not me.
Starting point is 00:57:52 No? Uh-uh. Somebody was recently. Some jewelry. Recently? I don't know. I think the kids are doing it now. I think I would have figured if you're 10 years
Starting point is 00:58:01 older than me, if I- They do a lot of mullets now to kids. The mullets are big. Yeah. Yeah, mullets, because kids. The mullets are big. Yeah. Yeah, mullets, because it became ironic. Like, hey, that guy, so, you know,
Starting point is 00:58:09 he doesn't care, he's got a mullet. You know what I thought was the pinnacle? It really was. It, obviously, it, it, it got overblown, but the European soccer cut, which I kicked for a little while, about 15 years ago. Which was what, the high-end tight?
Starting point is 00:58:24 What the back was a little bit long. You know what I'm talking about? Like, you had it when we, before we first met. Yeah. And I thought you were the, I saw not even show it. I don't know if I ever share this with you. I remember seeing your haircut in a YouTube video and I was like, this guy stinks dude.
Starting point is 00:58:39 I swear to God. You were like singing into your webcam or something at that apartment used to live in? No, no, that was different. That was, that was, it was the end of the video. That was a mullet. I'm talking like,
Starting point is 00:58:52 That wasn't a mullet. I'm talking the European, I thought it was a mullet. I'm talking European soccer cut, where it would go in, but it was longer. I had it when you knew me for sure. I had it in New York for a little while. I don't know. Do you not know what I'm talking about? No. Are you fucking nuts? Give me a guy who had it.
Starting point is 00:59:12 I don't know. Put hot soccer player haircut. That'll just gonna get hot guys now. Yeah. What haircut? It's all kind of like foe hockey. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. A foe hockey. Thank you. Oh, the foe hockey. I think that's what I'm talking about a fohawk. Thank you. Oh, the fohawk. I think that's the fucking coolest haircut around. Man, I've had bad haircut. You have also had a handful of bad haircuts. Um, I rock the fohawk, not a foh vulture. What really? I Went I had like almost got that What God what bad joke. Yeah, no, I had a mohawk. Just not big. I had a one on the side But how wide was it what the mohawk yeah, it was about 200 feet
Starting point is 01:00:01 What the mohawk? Yeah. It was about 200 feet. It was big enough you couldn't cross it in the middle of the night. I had a tree lane highway. I got a rabbit on my head. You had to take it over. I got to cross that thing. He's done as a barking lot.
Starting point is 01:00:20 I got a rabbit. He's to play football there on Sundays. You're not going to beat the first one. Get out. But I'm still trying. Gang. He's to play football there on Sundays. You're not gonna beat the first one, get out. But I'm still trying! Gang! Here's the scoop, here's the turkey. We love you to death. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 01:00:31 And we'll see you next week. Pooh!

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.