Artie Lange's Podcast Channel - 14 - KEVIN FARLEY
Episode Date: December 24, 2019Artie Lange & Mike Bocchetti interview Kevin Farley, stand-up comedian, actor and member of one of the first families of comedy! Presented by TheComicsGym.com Thanks to MyBookie.ag - If you're going ...to wager this weekend go to http://bit.ly/MYB-Artie and use code Artie to get a 50% signup bonus. Thanks to Blue Chew. Go to BlueChew.com and get your first shipment FREE (just pay $5 shipping) when you use the promo code ARTIE.
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Arnie Lang's Halfway House.
What's up, guys?
I'm here with my co-host, Mike Boschetti.
Mike, what's up?
How you guys doing?
Welcome.
Oh, fuck, I just fouled up.
That's all right.
Let me host the show.
You can do whatever you want.
No, no, I got to listen and walk half way.
No, no, you don't have to listen to anything.
Just be Mike Boschetti.
That's your job.
Okay, okay.
And you're doing a great job.
I'll be a fuck up, okay.
The other semi-regular on the show, the great Ali Breen.
Hi, guys.
Ali's here.
Yeah.
Great comedian, my friend.
Going to be working with me a lot on the road, as is Mike.
And look who's here.
Look at me.
Look who it is.
It's been a while.
The great Kevin Farley.
The great.
Yes.
The great.
Yes.
What's up, buddy?
I'm good, buddy.
How are you?
It's love and norm.
Hey, man.
It's the great Kevin Farley.
He overhypes you.
He oversells everything.
He overhypes you.
He overhypes you. That'lllls everything. He overhypes you.
That'll make you do some bit of comedy or something.
Yeah.
Like when we were doing the Norm show, Kevin and I met.
Kevin Farley, of course, a stand-up comic, great actor, comedic actor, brother of Chris Farley.
Yeah.
The great Chris Farley.
The great Chris Farley.
I mean, absolutely.
Yeah.
Been gone for 22 years now.
Yeah, just recently. He died December 18th. 22 years now. Yeah, just recently.
He died December 18th.
December 18th.
That's right.
Absolutely.
I'll never forget where I was when I saw him.
Never be another Chris.
No, I was in Los Angeles airport.
I had just seen him, too.
And I saw the dates underneath him while I was getting a drink at the bar.
And I'm like, oh, my God, that's when it hammers home.
But I met Chris where I met Kevin doing the movie Dirty Work.
Yes, yes, yes.
And you're in the Don Rickles scene.
I was in the famous movie scene where we all lined up.
We all worked for the movie theater.
And Don Rickles chews us out.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, we didn't know what he was going to say was the point.
Like, I've told this story a bunch of times.
This is my first, you know, scene.
The first shot in a big fucking movie.
You know, an MGM movie, it's like a buddy comedy.
I'm one of the fucking buddies.
Yeah, yeah.
And Don Rickles is going to improvise insults in my face.
And I don't know what he's going to say.
No.
Because he couldn't remember the fucking lines.
He made the mistake of writing them jokes.
Like, he's going to memorize our jokes.
So he's in a machine, right?
So he just pointed to, like, me, Kevin, and Norm,
who all look ridiculous in these bow ties and shit
that were supposed to be in the movie.
And we were playing movie theater employees.
And I'm the first motherfucker he comes up to,
and he just goes, look at you, you baby gorilla.
And I left.
I left 20 straight times.
We couldn't get through it. Look at you, you baby gorilla. And I left. I left 20 straight times. We couldn't
get through it. Look at you, you baby
gorilla. And then we, after
20 times of that cut,
then he starts talking to my belly, like,
having fun ice cream, dancing around?
But my favorite thing
he said was, he said,
Baskin Robbins called me and said, you ate
them down to only five flavors.
Like, where did that come from?
And then he's making fun of, like, a Middle Eastern guy saying, you're going to be tearing
tickets in Kuwait, sucking sand.
Yeah.
Everything was, like, insulting and offensive.
That was all improv, remember?
He just insulted us off the top of his head.
Because he had lines, but he couldn't do the lines.
No.
So he just said, all right, just do whatever you want, Rob.
Whoa.
And he just went off. Yeah, he went off. And we could not keep it straight. he couldn't do the lines. So he just said, all right, just do whatever you want, right? And he just went off.
Yeah, he went off.
And we could not keep it straight.
We couldn't keep it straight.
Nobody could keep it straight.
No, no.
And that was in Toronto.
And I remember, you remember me and you had dinner in Toronto together. Yeah, we went out to dinner.
We had a nice dinner together.
It was nice.
Good dinner.
It was great.
I had a good time.
And, you know, that's actually Chris's last movie.
That's the last movie.
Last movie he ever did.
Yeah. And we weren't even, I wasn't on set with my brother at that time. That's the last movie. Last movie he ever did. Yeah.
And we weren't even, I wasn't on set with my brother at that time.
That's right.
But he was coming.
He was coming to set.
Right.
And we shot your scene first.
Right.
And you said, let's have dinner.
And you just ate.
And I can remember you were worried about him.
At that time, yeah, for sure.
But the face you made, when I think about it, it's touching to me.
Because I could see the concern. He was doing a little okay. And then, you know, when I think about it, it's touching to me because I could see, like, the concern.
He was doing a little okay, and then, you know, it's ups and downs, man.
At that time, he was, I thought, okay, you know.
I thought, you know, you never know.
At that time, I obviously was worried a lot, but at the time, and people say this now,
they're like, were you shocked?
You know, I mean, how could you be shocked?
Right, of course.
But the truth is, I was.
Yeah, well, still, he's 33 years old.
He's a young man.
He's your brother.
And I'm talking to him, and, you know, I'm thinking, like,
you're going to be all right.
You're going to be okay.
Just, you know, don't touch that stuff.
Yeah.
And, no, yeah, so at the time, you're always concerned,
but, you know, it was shocking.
It was shocking for me.
Your other brother, John, is an actor, and I've worked with John.
Yeah, yeah. And a good guy guy and you're all funny guys what the fuck was it like growing up with you guys
this big irish family it must have been nuts what was that like thanksgiving basically we had we
had you chris farley and john we had like uh a whole basement down to ourselves like we didn't
have an upstairs we had like five bedrooms downstairs yeah. Like we didn't have an upstairs. We had like five bedrooms downstairs.
Yeah.
And so we didn't,
nobody came down there.
Like my mom and dad never came down.
I wouldn't either.
I'd be scared to death.
How much older was Chris than you?
He was a year older.
And he was,
he was the oldest.
He,
no,
no,
no.
I,
my sister,
Barb,
and then,
and then my brother,
Tom,
I have another brother,
Tom,
Tommy.
Okay.
Tommy.
And then,
and then my,
and then Chris and then myself and then John's the youngest baby.
So did Tom go into show business too?
Well, no.
No.
He's not funny.
I don't know what happened.
How are you not funny in that film?
I don't know.
It's weird.
He's very serious.
It must have been hard to be funny.
Like you guys one-upping one another.
Yeah.
No, you had to have your chops.
Yeah.
That's probably what happened.
He was locked in the basement with you guys and he was like, enough.
Oh, my God.
Oh, God.
Yeah.
Well, if you weren't funny, you were absolutely just destroyed.
I mean, if you were like, Chris usually won.
When we get together downstairs and start throwing the ball at each other, and then
Chris would do some kind of character or whatever. And all
those characters that I saw him do later,
he was doing that when we were 12 down
in the basement. All those things.
That's why when they got famous
with him, I was like, he did that when he was 12.
That's got to be famous?
That's crazy.
He could make anything funny.
He could. And back then,
I didn't even realize he was that funny.
I just thought he was insane.
Yeah.
And he would do anything, you know.
He would literally like, hey, you know, run around the block nude or whatever like that.
That was like nothing.
That was nothing.
He's like, come on, challenge me.
Come on, challenge me.
And he was an athlete too, right?
Good athlete.
Very good athlete. Did you play sports as a kid? Yeah, we all did. And he was an athlete too, right? Good athlete. Very good athlete.
Did you play sports as a kid?
Yeah, we all did.
Football?
Because my mom wanted us out of the house.
She was like, you're signing up for everything.
You're signing up for everything.
I can't imagine the amount of food that must have been consumed.
A lot.
Spade came over one time, I remember.
And we had basically a trash bag that we passed around the house.
When we were done, we'd just shovel it in like a restaurant,
and we called it the yuck bag.
The what bag?
The yuck bag.
My mom would go, put this in the yuck bag.
But we'd have like –
What was it, like leftovers that you chewed or something?
We just went through seconds and thirds.
The whole concept of seconds, like I look back on it now,
like who wants seconds?
I mean, seconds?
You mean like thirds? We'd have thirds
go back for fours. I mean, seconds
is just part of the meal. Right, right.
My mom cooked in, like, giant pots.
I saw Chris, I remember, because it was a big budget,
you know, for the biggest budget I've ever been involved
with, the dirty work, they had it catered.
The craft service was amazing.
And then the caterer would get steak.
So everyone had lunch in Norm's trailer. He craft service was amazing. And then the caterer would get steak. So everyone had lunch in Norm's
trailer. He would invite everybody in.
And I remember Chris would take a steak
and he wouldn't cut the steak.
He would put a fork in the middle of the steak
and then just put it into his face.
And the steak would just have to
bend into his mouth.
It was like something out of the Flintstones.
And he put butter
on it.
He would take a whole piece of steak, dunk it in butter or sauce, and then just go It was like something out of the Flintstones. And he put butter on it. You know, I mean, good God.
He would take a whole piece of steak, dunk it in like butter or sauce, and then just go like this.
And then the steak would just bend into his mouth.
Oh, yeah.
No.
How does a man not have fun watching that?
I look back and go, wow, do we eat.
I mean, we used to go to this place in Chicago called Gibson's.
I've been to Gibson's.
I've been to Gibson's.
And they'd have the lobster that was as big as this table
and we'd order that for an hors d'oeuvre.
Right.
And then we'd start eating.
And it was like, that was our hors d'oeuvre.
It was this huge lobster.
And then we'd have steaks and a giant, giant,
remember those giant desserts?
Oh, I mean, eating at Gibson's is like,
I mean, I always say that that's like,
I can even, even in my slobbest of days, I'm like, this is a lot of fucking eating.
I mean, it's like literally every time I went to a steakhouse like that with my buddies, it's like when you put your foot in a trash can, like how much more shit can I feed myself?
Just put it in the hole of my fucking head.
It is.
And everything's cream, cream of spinach, cream of corn, cream of cream. Yeah, cream of cream fucking head. It is. And like, everything's cream, cream of spinach,
cream of corn,
cream of cream.
Yeah,
cream of cream.
Yeah,
and it's decadent.
The Gibson's is decadent.
It's just huge.
Every portion's huge.
It's really Chicago kind of place.
Well,
so Chris moved out
to get into Second City.
Were you involved
with Second City too?
Yeah,
yeah.
After Chris,
you know,
when we were all growing up,
like,
I didn't even know you could do
comedy as a living.
Like, I thought, what?
And he goes, no, I want to go do this thing, Second City, and I think I'm good at comedy
and all that.
Did he do it in college or something?
Or just with all sports?
Yeah, he went on stage a couple different times in college as a theater thing.
But, you know, him and Pat Finn, I don't know if you know Pat.
I know Pat.
You know Pat.
I know Pat. Pat Finn is in another movie I'm in called know Pat. I know Pat. You know Pat. I know Pat.
Pat Finn is in another movie I'm in called The Bachelor.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He was a funny guy, Pat.
He's great.
And we all played rugby together.
And then those two guys went down to Chicago to be in Second City.
I just didn't even know you could do that.
So I'm like, fuck.
Oh, sorry.
Can I swear?
Go right ahead.
Go the fuck ahead.
So I was like, I was selling asphalt for my dad at the time.
I'm like, well, I'd rather do that.
Is that what your dad did for a living?
Yeah, we sold asphalt.
The company, we had a family business that sold asphalt.
So Tommy Boy was kind of based on your father.
Yeah, yeah.
Totally.
Denny, he's a character based on your father.
Totally, yeah.
Dad was a really good salesman.
Yeah.
He was a great salesman.
He sold asphalt, which is kind of like auto parts, you know?
Yeah.
And Chris worked for him right out of school for a little while.
Right.
Kevin, did you ever meet, I'm sorry, but did you ever meet John Candy?
I loved him.
I never did.
I wish I would have.
Nah, he died a long time ago.
Yeah.
In 93 he was out.
Was he?
I think 93 he died.
Yeah, no.
He was one of the best.
I loved John Candy.
I wish I would have met him, too.
I never did.
Well, all those guys, they could all be sweet.
You know, like, you could be very sweet, and your brother was sweet.
Like, he could make you cry.
Right.
But also be, like, bombastic and funny, too.
Oh, absolutely.
Like, outrageously.
And then have a soft side.
But Candy had a real soft side.
Oh, yeah.
I love him.
Oh, no, he was great.
So many people come out of the Midwest that are funny.
Belushi and stuff like that.
So I'm sure John Belushi was like a hero of you guys.
Yeah, you know, not so much me, but Chris really enjoyed him
just because he was a bigger guy that could move.
Yeah, he was graceful.
When we saw John Belushi as kids, we were like,
that's a guy that's, first of all,
he was the first, like, kind of bigger guy.
I wouldn't call him fat, but for television,
you know, you didn't find any, like, big guys.
Besides Jackie Gleason.
We all love Jackie Gleason, too.
But for sketch comedy like that, it was like the Carol Burnett show and stuff.
It wasn't edgy, Woodstock-type shit.
Everybody was pretty skinny.
Yeah.
You know, but this guy, all of a sudden, was kind of heavy, but he could move, and he was funny, and it was great.
Well, Belushi's the reason I got on MADtv.
After that, every sketch group that came along needed a Belushi guy.
You know, you need the fat guy, you need the bigger guy.
But your brother was even more unique.
He was just a force unto himself, you know.
But so you got involved in Second City, too, which is like, you know.
Did you study with Del Close?
Yeah, I did a bunch of shows with Del, and he was a character.
Oh, God, that guy was unreal.
Another drug guy, actually.
Well, he was.
Eventually, he was a major heroin addict for a long time.
I don't know.
His health failed at the end of his life.
I mean, I don't know how long he lived, but, wow, he lived.
Created Second City.
Yeah.
But when you look at all the Chicago guys, Bill Murray, you guys, Belushi, I mean, that's
like such a, such a, you know, reservoir for comedy.
Yeah.
I mean, I look at, I always tell comedians, if you're going to start, go to Chicago because
it's a great little place to fail.
And it's an awesome town, too.
And it's a great town.
It's the Paris of the Midwest. Right. But you can fail. And it's an awesome town, too. And it's a great town. It's the Paris of the Midwest.
Right.
But you can fail.
Like in New York, you fail on stage here and people kind of see you.
I always tell people you better be ready if you get in front of a casting director in
L.A. or New York.
If you suck in front of them, you put your career back five, ten years.
Yeah.
Right.
There's more stakes out here.
Right.
But in Chicago, you know, you can fail a little bit if you're really young and you're just starting out.
When you guys are already funny and you go to Chicago, what happens when you have to apply rules to that?
When they give you rules of improv?
Oh, we break them.
Yeah.
I hated those improv.
Yeah.
It seems like it wouldn't help if you already had them.
The funny thing is they have a lot of rules, and the funny thing is when you get good, you break all of them.
Yeah.
You know, and so the really good improv teams that you see are just breaking those rules that you set up for all these things.
Well, I think every great comedian breaks rules.
Yeah, that's the nature of it.
My favorite thing that Chris did sometimes in an improv would just go, you know, he'd come up to them and go, I got nothing.
Yeah. Yeah.
But he always committed.
I mean, when you talk about.
Oh, absolutely.
Right.
No one committed more than him.
Nobody committed.
And so that, I think, was his whole thing.
If he wasn't sure about what something was funny or not, you know, we used to have this guy in high school.
He was a football coach, and he said this thing that always rang in our heads.
If you're going to make a mistake, make an aggressive mistake.
Well, yeah.
Well, I don't think they teach kids that anymore.
No.
No aggressive shit.
That's too toxic masculinity.
Imagine on the football field, toxic masculinity.
Yeah.
So he was always making aggressive mistakes.
Whether it was right or wrong, whether it was funny or not,
it was going to be pretty aggressive.
Just go for it.
Just go for it.
He did that really well.
Yeah, and so now when I met you, were you doing stand-up at the time?
No, I was always doing sitcoms and little tiny parts on sitcoms,
movies here and there when I lived in L.A.
And then I decided, like, why don't I just start into this?
I started, Norm goes, hey, why don't you come across country with me
because you need a ride, I guess.
Hey, man.
Hey, man.
Farley can drive us.
Farley can drive us.
Yeah, exactly.
So I said, yeah, well, I want to learn how to do this.
I don't know how to do stand-up, and I'm going to learn from the best.
Norm, to me, is the best.
As good as it gets.
Norm is the direct, like, the worst insult a comedian can give somebody is to call him a hack,
which basically means you're derivative.
Like, it's not original shit you're doing.
Norm is the direct opposite of a hack, which is the best compliment you could get.
He's got original material and the most original delivery, you know, and persona on stage. I open up
for Norm in about
10 cities when Dirty Work came out.
And he would
every show, he would go,
I'm not going up there, man. I'm nervous.
You just do like three hours.
And I'd be like, I can't do that.
I'd bust my butt. He'd go, you just do like
three hours. I can't go up there. And I said, we're gonna
have to cancel the show. He looked really like
fucking, you know, scared to death.
And then he would walk out and he would
the entire time, he's
holding his chest like he's having a heart attack
or an ulcer and destroy.
Just destroy. Destroy for two
hours. Just destroy for two hours.
And then he likes fucking with people.
Doing that sitcom, The Norm
Show, there'd be a studio audience there
and I didn't write
the fucking jokes
you know
a lot of times
it would suck
whatever
so I would say
my stupid line to him
and it would bomb
and then he would just
stop the take
and go
hey did Artie think
that was funny
like I just made it up
like don't you guys
think Artie sucks
like boo
he's blaming you
he's blaming me for it
I didn't write the shit.
So he said to you, why don't you come out with me on the road?
Come out and go through Canada.
I basically went and I opened for him.
Which he is like a god there.
I mean, I saw him once.
The walls move.
He's killing so hard.
And so that's how I started it.
And I just learned from there.
Learned from the best.
Watched Norm.
And Spade is as good as a stand-up gets. Spade's a fantastic. And I opened up for Dave. And I just learned from there, learned from the best, watched Norm. And Spade is as good as a stand-up gets.
Spade's a fantastic, and I opened up for Dave, and I learned.
And all I did for, like, the first, I started in, like, 2012.
Right.
I just listened to those guys.
Yeah.
And I just started, like, all right, you know, what do you do and how do you do it, you know.
So that was much later because we shot Dirty Work in the summer of 1997.
Wow.
In Toronto.
That's what it was.
That's what I said 23 fucking years ago.
It's crazy.
So you started much after that,
but you got a lot of acting work.
A lot of acting work.
A lot of,
yeah,
mostly just like,
I did a,
you know,
in the early 2000s,
I did a boy band thing.
That was probably
the biggest thing I ever did.
That's fantastic.
Which was like,
together.
I remember that.
I remember that,
yeah, yeah.
And we were like
a fake boy band.
Which is great. Yeah, yeah. That was were like a fake boy band. Which is great.
Yeah, yeah.
That was probably one of the bigger things I did.
Did you have to do any faggy shit for that?
Yeah, you know, dancing around in a freaking jumpsuit, you know, and all that kind of stuff.
But, you know, hey, the chicks dug us.
That's the problem thing.
Whatever.
Well, a boy band, you got to get the pussy.
But you mentioned Spade.
What was your relationship?
What was Spade's relationship like with your brother when he passed away?
Because he didn't go to his funeral, I know.
I know, but I think that was a sense.
They were very close, and they were kind of like, they were like, they always.
Creative fights, right?
Right.
Well, I think, who directed Tommy Boy?
Pete Siegel. I used to always say they were like a bickering old right? Right. Well, I think what's, who directed Tommy Boy? Pete Siegel, I used to always say.
They were like a bickering old couple.
Right.
And that's kind of really the best way you could describe it.
You know, they were like always, and it was all creative fights and that kind of thing.
But it was like a bickering old, when you find these comedy duos that really work well.
They all hated each other.
They all cut it.
For at least a little while.
Exactly.
Yeah.
And I think that was sort of what it was like.
Yeah, yeah.
But here's how funny Spade is.
Spade in a scene
with your brother
could hold the scene,
which is hard to do.
Right, because he wasn't
intimidated by him
or he would actually
make fun of him
and all that
and I think that
Chris liked that.
Yeah.
He liked that he could
like take him down
and not...
Because he liked...
But he liked
He was doing that with me a lot
In Dirty Work
Yeah
You know
Because I'm not
I said that I'm not fucking
With Chris Farley at all
Yeah
On camera
And the last scene
Chris ever did
I'm in
It's just me and him
He's releasing the skunks
Out of like those
Big skunks
That was outrageous
Yeah
And he was smoking
In between takes
He was smoking
And he had a jacket
On that didn't fit him.
I said, Chris, you've got to give a little lesson because you're going to have a heart attack.
And he's like, let's have a cigarette!
Jesus.
I like when he pushes G7 in that.
He's like, to me, that was, you know, I obviously didn't laugh at a lot of stuff because I'd seen it all, you know, growing up.
It's a bar fight, and he accidentally hits Pina Colada.
G7, right.
I love that.
G7!
And also just, you know, when he starts, like,
the hooker's yelling at him to get in the car
and he goes, blah, blah, blah.
But again, stuff like that.
It's an Asian hooker and he goes,
shut your cake, Cole Yoko.
Oh, God.
That I laughed at.
Dirty Work is, like, the most homophobic movie.
There's no... No way. I mean, you couldn't make it now. No, no. That I laughed at. Dirty Work is like the most homophobic movie. There's no...
No way.
I mean, you couldn't make it now.
No, no.
No, that's true.
You couldn't make that movie right now.
No way.
How long did it take to shoot?
About two months.
About two months.
But, you know, you, besides being funny, were always like just the sweetest guy.
I fell in love with you that night we had dinner.
I was like, this is a great... this is a good man, you know.
Yeah, I mean, I think that down, you know, we grew up, we weren't like, I never came
from the side of comedy that's like the, I guess.
New York pretentious asshole.
Right.
I don't try to rip people a new asshole.
I never have come from that angle.
Mike's an asshole.
No, I'm not to rip people a new asshole. Right. I never have come from that angle. Mike's an asshole, but. No, I'm not an asshole.
Yeah, yeah.
Leaves that movement.
The self-deprecating thing is kind of more like the Farley way.
Oh, absolutely.
You know, that's sort of the way I come from, you know.
I think that's funnier.
I think it's way.
I just get more mileage out of it that way.
Even in stand-up.
Like, what is your stand-up?
Just, like, observations about stuff?
Sort of.
My life, you know, self-deprecating, that kind of thing.
You know, but nothing, anything, anything like real crazy or controversial or anything.
I never have been.
I just never have been.
I don't know why.
More clownish.
Like Chris is more of a clown.
Oh, absolutely.
I like to be more of a clown.
But edgy.
But edgy.
Not something like, you know, pussy-ass clown.
No.
No.
Like an edgy clown.
More like a John Wayne Gacy edgy clown.
100 bodies under the basement.
Yeah, Chicago could either go real funny or real dark.
You get the Chris and Kevin Farley and the John Wayne Gacy.
John Wayne Gacy.
The John Wayne Gacy model.
So now you moved to New York from L.A.
I just moved like two years ago, two and a half years ago.
Right.
Why'd you do that?
For stand-up?
The stand-up was taking off, you know.
It's the capital of stand-up, New York.
It really is.
You know, L.A.'s got everything, but, you know.
L.A.'s got the comedy store, it's got improv,
and then the Laugh Factory.
Those are really the only three.
Yeah, you can't really,
you could do like eight sets in a night here, you know.
You could take the subway and go, you can't really,
you know, you do the Comedy Magic Club at nine,
and then at nine o'clock the next night night you can get to the fucking Laugh Factory
on the 205.
Right.
So if you want to hone your act, you know.
I'm also on the road a lot, so that flight back was just killing me.
And so I just thought, well, the East Coast is where it's at for stand-up.
Oh, absolutely.
It really is.
Because besides Chicago, Boston's got amazingly funny guys.
I mean, Ali from Boston.
You know, again, I like that.
Cities where it gets cold and there's big sports teams.
Like, that's where funny comes from.
That's where funny comes from.
You're absolutely right.
Like, it just doesn't come from the Midwest.
I mean, from the West Coast.
No, I don't think it does.
People are too nice out there.
Yeah, they're very friendly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Soon you can't get funny when people are so nice to you.
No biting saw cares.
Well, the first time I played the San Diego Improv in 1996,
I had gotten on MADtv and I was starring in a book,
and I actually opened for Otto and George, the very trillical.
Whoa.
And so the first time, me and Otto both almost bombed, right?
Not bombed, but we didn't do well.
So the manager of the San Diego Improv says, well,
you guys sound mean.
I'm like,
what the fuck
are you talking about?
He goes,
you see that you sound mean.
People here aren't mean like that.
I'm like,
what are you talking about?
So Otto and I go on stage.
Because you're East Coast.
Well, Otto and I go,
we're being sarcastic.
What the fuck
if that's mean?
Yeah.
So I, you know,
I said it's not
where I come from.
Four months out of the year
there's snow
with dog shit on it.
They got a parallel parking.
You know,
it's not 82 and breezy.
Right.
So, Otto and I say, okay, we'll try to be nicer.
So, I go on stage and I hate, I start to hate the fact that I'm trying to be nice.
So, I get even more evil.
Me.
And I scream.
And I basically call everyone an asshole.
I leave.
Otto goes on stage with his dummy.
And he tries to be nice for three seconds.
Three seconds.
And then three seconds
he goes,
fuck it,
fuck you motherfuckers.
He starts yelling
at a Mexican woman
in the front row
with the dummy
and he totally abandons
even trying to be
a ventriloquist.
So she doesn't know
whether to look at the dummy
or him.
He goes,
you fucking filthy
Mexican whore.
He's calling her
a Mexican whore.
She starts to cry and the dummy or him. He goes, you fucking filthy Mexican whore. He's calling her a Mexican whore. She's like, she starts to cry.
And we almost got arrested.
Not only did we not get paid, we almost got arrested.
You did not take the note.
No.
You did not take the note.
The note was to be nicer.
He called a woman a Mexican whore for no reason.
With a dummy.
With a dummy.
I did a gig in Buffalo with
George.
It had
eagles at the end or woogles or shoogles.
Something like that. It was outside of Buffalo.
It was like a shitty gig. We were getting paid
800 bucks total. He was getting 600.
I was getting 200. That's how long ago it was.
I show up and the
manager almost has a bat. He goes,
hey, your boy isn't here.
He took the $800 and left.
I said, what are you talking about?
Oh, shit.
He goes, your boy left with the $800 for you guys.
It was like a half an hour before the show.
So I said, I don't take this.
That's when it breaks your heart.
I said, don't take this the wrong way.
Are there any crack houses around?
I said, he has a bit of a crack problem.
No way.
And I never smoke crack. I smoke crack a little bit. You know, I dabbled in it. I said he has a bit of a crack problem. No way. And I never smoke crack.
I smoke crack a little bit.
You know, I dabbled in it.
I dabbled.
I go to a crack house row, and the third one in, I find Otto.
No way.
He's smoking crack next to another crackhead with George the Dummy in between him and a
crackhead.
And he goes, you want a hit?
And I sit down to do a hit, and we missed the show.
I smoked crack. We smoked crack for two days. hit? And I sit down to do a hit and we missed the show. I smoked crack.
We smoked crack
for two days.
I really thought
that was going to be
a same day.
I spent the $800.
Now there's like a,
the guy,
fuck a wuss,
the guy I think
was connected,
he wanted to kill us.
Oh yeah.
We just didn't show up
for two sold out shows.
You never showed up
for two sold out shows.
I love that you started it out
by saying,
don't take this the wrong way.
Yeah.
But that gives me hope
because I was getting nervous. I said, don't read into this, Mr. Sensitive.
Are there any crack houses around?
Don't let this worry you.
Me, Otto, and the dummy.
And an African-American gentleman.
We're all smoking crack.
Wow.
Gentlemen.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, so my point is,
how do you think Chris would fend in this climate nowadays?
No, he wouldn't have done well.
No.
I mean, that's obvious.
Yeah.
I always think, like, yeah, wow.
I mean, he would have never survived.
You think so?
Never.
No.
God.
I mean, he can make anything funny, but still.
No, he liked to pull his pants down.
You think he would have been Me Too'd by now?
For sure.
Absolutely for sure.
There's no question.
It's a shame you're giving him a nightmare.
It sucks.
I'm currently being Me Jude by my age.
I'm being Me Jude right now.
He would have never survived.
I mean, he would have never survived.
He just was, his whole philosophy was to push it to the limit.
Right.
But that's what fucking comedy is.
That's what it is.
Exactly.
But he wanted to, like, push it all the time.
And he did things that, you know, obviously you see on SNL and we've all looked at.
But the stuff that he did off screen that we were growing up with.
Oh, I know.
Other stories he told in Norm's trailer that I think Norm has on tape.
Was outrageously funny, but you could never repeat it.
I mean, there's stuff that's actionable, I think, that he said.
Yeah, who cares?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
No.
And so it's like, no.
I mean, no.
There's no chance.
Well, I mean.
Because he was kind of a, he really, really, I've never met anyone that really wanted to
make you laugh or you laugh or anybody.
He loved making you laugh.
He loved it.
No matter who it was.
Yeah, he loved it.
Loved coming in, making a huge scene, and then getting out of there.
But, like, the scenes that he would create were outrageous.
And they still talk about it.
Just in real life.
No, yeah, they still talk about it, you know.
And he was just like that since he was born, you know.
Right.
He was fucking around in school all the time.
But here's why Dirty Work was a fun experience.
Norm talks about this all the time.
So you and Don Rickles are up there.
Then your brother Chris.
Adam Sandler came for a week.
Chevy Chase came for two weeks.
Yeah.
Jack Warden.
Sandler did a small part in it.
So it's like it was just all these amazing people
and they were all fun to hang out with.
They were all fucked up.
And, you know, in their own way.
Yeah.
No, it wasn't like one of those sets
where you're like walking on eggshells or anything like that.
No, no, that was a fun set.
Well, gay humor.
You can't make gay humor anymore.
Not at all.
Not at all.
And Chris loved gay.
He said the word whore a lot.
He did everything bad.
His character, his nose got bit off by a Saigon whore.
Whore, which you could never do.
Norm loves the word whore.
He does.
He uses it a lot.
I feel like certain people still get away with it a little bit.
He seems like he would.
Well, I can't stop.
You don't think so?
Well, Folly is so funny.
But he was already iconic.
But you do have to adjust.
Today, he would have been nailed.
I mean, Eddie Murphy is, you know.
Don't you think Eddie Murphy's going to get fucked a little bit?
He wants to do these Netflix specials and shit.
You know, they're going to pull out his old specials.
And, I mean, come on.
I think he's one of those guys that thrives on that controversy, too.
He's also got a trillion dollars.
Yeah, it doesn't matter.
But he's also one of those guys
that like, he can't help it.
Like he's got to say something.
He said that Cosby joke,
which I think was really funny this weekend.
What was it?
Oh, he said something like,
who's the best father now, Bill Cosby?
Yeah, because Cosby was,
here's how crazy the Cosby thing,
I do an insanely offensive joke about,
you know, he has that weird eye that goes the other way.
I say the way you got that is when you're raping a girl, you got to keep one eye on
the door.
I actually do that in my head.
Again, I've given up.
But here's how fucked up the Bill Cosby thing.
Not only was he sexually assaulting and drugging women, while he's doing that, he's preaching
to America, not just America, to other brilliant
comics like Eddie Murphy and Richard Pryor.
He's telling Richard Pryor, you cursed too much.
I mean, the hypocrisy
is outrageous.
He's calling Richard Pryor up and saying,
you cursed too much, and Pryor probably knew
what the fuck was going on.
And imagine he's like, okay, I cursed too much. Can we get to you
now?
Can you imagine what they knew back then?
And they're like, oh, Bill, Bill, Bill.
Yeah, Bill.
That's enough.
Bill, you don't want me to say this, Bill.
You don't want me to say this.
America's fucking dead.
They're afraid to say it at the time.
They couldn't say it really.
Of course not.
Well, that's how powerful he was.
He was a powerful guy.
No doubt.
How much acting do you still do?
I'll do whatever I can.
I'd love to do more.
Yeah.
I go on auditions and that kind of thing.
But I, you know, I booked a few things last year, you know, just whenever I can get it.
Can you describe to the audience, do you still work with Norm?
Have you worked?
I haven't.
What is it like working with Norm on the road?
Because he's such a unique, I mean, I know it.
I'm one of the rare people who knows.
You know, he's funny. It's like the one time he came out on stage and he goes, I did my act.
I go backstage.
And all of a sudden I hear him go, who wants to see me and Kevin wrestle?
Onto the audience.
By the way, I think this is on YouTube.
And I'm back in the green room, right?
And I kind of hear it and I'm like, what is he doing?
I'm like, what is he saying?
And they're like, of course the audience is like, yeah, yeah.
Of course, who wouldn't want to see that?
I'd yell, yeah, absolutely.
And then somebody goes, hey, Norm wants you out on stage.
And I'm like, oh, no, I don't like this at all.
So I go out on stage.
I go out on stage.
And I look into his crazy eyes.
And he goes, I guess they want us to wrestle.
And he attacks me on stage.
He just attacks me on stage.
And I'm going, what are you doing?
And we're wrestling around, you know?
And he's like, really trying.
And I go, you psycho. I'm bigger
than him. Yeah, of course. I picked him up
and I body slammed him.
And then
he gets off stage and he goes, what are you doing?
Right. He goes, I was kidding
around. I go, you punched me in the head
for God's sake.
He's more into fucking with you
as the opening act than making the crowd laugh.
He really is.
Like, one time we were in San Francisco at the Palace of the Fine Arts, okay?
Yes.
I worked with him in Seattle once, and the review in one of the small papers was a two-sentence review.
It said, Mr. Lange made me nauseous, Mr. McDonald made me throw up.
That was...
Okay, all right. So, in San Francisco, Norm goes to me, said, Mr. Lange made me nauseous, Mr. McDonald made me throw up. That was... Okay, alright, so okay. So, in San Francisco,
Norm goes to me, hey man,
I know you're doing your stupid little
act, but...
This is San Francisco.
No fucking gay jokes.
And I go, well dude, I've played San Francisco
where you guys, nah, those clubs, man, this ain't the
punchline. It's Palace of the Fives.
This is my career, dude.
There's critics out there.
No fucking gay jokes.
I'm like, all right, fine.
He goes, X-Day on the faggy.
So I'm like, all right, fine.
So I struggle through 20 minutes for no gay jokes.
I go, Norm MacDonald, first thing out of his mouth,
not how you doing, not good to be here,
not what's up, San Francisco.
First thing he goes, hey, how about that AIDS?
And he goes, hey, how about that AIDS? Oh, no.
And he goes, like rumbling.
And then he goes, you know, I always read bad
stuff about AIDS, but then I read AIDS doesn't
discriminate. And that's kind of nice.
Oh, no.
And then Jim Brewer had a similar story.
And then you hear Norm go, where are you going?
Like three seconds, then he goes,
where are you going? People are leaving.
But that critic loved him.
Like, they got the irony.
Right.
I mean, sometimes they get him, and other times they don't.
Where are you going?
Where are you going?
Where are you going?
How about that AIDS?
How about that AIDS?
Oh, man.
No, it was a trip going across Canada with him.
And you worked with Spade, too, another master stand-up comedian.
Master stand-up.
No, he's a joke
great, a great joke teller.
No, I learned from those
because I figure those two guys are the greatest.
The artist
stand-up, and again, I worked with Spade
and I did a movie with Spade and then I hung out with Spade
a lot. I wish I could have, I wish
I should have put out an album of Spade's
answering machine messages to me.
Oh yeah. Goofing on me.
Yeah, yeah.
Because they were just masterful.
They were so fucking funny.
And he's got stories.
When texting first came about, I made the mistake of texting LOL to him after I texted him.
And he goes, first of all, I'll tell you when something's funny.
Whoa.
He goes, you're not texting with a fucking cheerleader.
LOL.
LOL.
Did you really just write LOL?
But he...
Remember we went to the Borgato.
Remember you, me?
We were...
Remember that?
With Spade.
With Spade, right?
We had dinner at the Borgato.
That was fun.
No, he...
I got to do this commercial, but I got to tell you my favorite space,
just the way he would goof on you.
Again, again, it's all about, that's what it's about.
That's what the comedy cellar table used to be.
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All right, so, again, we're talking about this fade in norm.
And, again, it really is about abuse.
It's about abuse.
They both love abuse.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They do.
But, okay, so when evil – you got it?
You all right with it?
Yeah, sorry.
We just gave that some blue chew that month.
It's black and hard I
alright
so
when
maybe you had
this experience
around them too
even just hanging out
with them at dinner
like if you tell a joke
that bums
if you try to be funny
it was so
it was like playing
Carnegie fucking Hall
just making like
trying to make a witty comment
yeah yeah yeah
and like if it sucked
you go man you're awful.
You're terrible.
Like, quit.
Freddie Wolf is like that, too.
I love Fred.
Fred will give up a laugh more than those two guys.
Oh, absolutely.
No, you're right.
Oh, yeah.
Spade almost never laughs.
Yeah, no.
I mean, but he'll go, he'll say something like, oh, yeah, that was pretty good or whatever.
No, actually, I don't think he's ever complimented me.
I'm thinking about it. I'm like, I don't think he's ever complimented me. I'm thinking about it.
I'm like, I don't think he's ever complimented me.
I mean, he's just a funny asshole.
I mean, I love him.
So, if I would tell
a joke that bombed
in front of them, I had this thing if we were at dinner
where I would bite my straw.
It was just like a nervous tick.
I'd say a joke that bombed at dinner and I'd get nothing.
I'd just go like this.
So Spade would like
always go
like in front of chicks. Like if I said something
and I tried to be funny and no one laughed
I was gonna
bite on a straw. So
this is how amazing. So
cut to five fucking years later. Five
years after like the last time he did that to me.
It's almost forgotten. Right. I'm doing
the Stern Show.
We're in Vegas.
Spade's a guest in Vegas.
And Howard in Vegas had, like, a blackjack table with drinks on it.
And we're all having drinks.
And we all had straws.
So with an audience there, Spade, five years have gone by.
I forget.
No one knows this joke but me or Spade.
Oh, wow. I say something that bombs, gets nothing.
I look at Spade.
He goes like this with his drink.
He doesn't forget a damn thing.
And he remembered that.
And it hit me like a
tidal wave of laughter. It's one of the
funniest fucking things I've ever seen in my life.
Just because of how long
he waited for the perfect moment
to abuse you.
Yeah, exactly.
I said something that bombed in front of thousands of people and on national radio and he went,
I'm.
And I think that.
And Howard's like, what the fuck you two idiots laying around?
They make an art form, those two guys, make an art form of abuse.
Yeah.
Which actually is kind of fun.
You know, I got.
But I think that's what funny people do is they abuse each other.
They do.
I mean, it's the art of busting balls.
That's going out the fucking window.
That's going out the window.
Everybody's too sensitive now.
Yeah.
No, I actually enjoyed it.
I used to laugh.
Of course.
I used to love it.
Well, I've seen people almost, assistants like cry and like sue Norm.
Like, I don't know.
I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to do that.
But, I mean, really, really.
But, like, see, like, Mike Dizer's hair is chartreuse
That's
The color is chartreuse
It's really
It's really like super
Super
Now how do you not goof on that
How do you not bust balls
Chartreuse
Where did you find chartreuse
Well he asked me one day
Kevin
He goes
What color is that hair I go
I was being a wuss
I go
It's chartreuse
I just said that
Oh wait so now
You were goofing on me
Yeah yeah
Motherfucker
I came full circle
Motherfucker
Speaking of full circle
Look at Mike's stomach
Hey hey
That was the funniest
Fucking thing ever
So now
So what are you doing
So how often
Do you do the road
Oh every weekend
Pretty much
I'm always doing that
I'll just tell my guy
Listen I want to work
So let's get out there I'll go out every weekend And you much. I'm always doing that. I'll just tell my guy, listen, I want to work, so let's get out there.
I'll go out every weekend.
And you're going the day after Christmas?
You're at the Hard Rock at where?
In Tulsa?
Tulsa, yeah.
In Tulsa.
And then I've got to go to Minneapolis.
So you're actually doing it, yeah.
Yeah.
Then I have a podcast I do, Kevin Farley on the Road.
I do that.
Where do you do that?
I do that out of the comic strip.
Oh, okay.
So here in New York? Yeah. Is that where you play the most here? of the comic strip. Oh, okay. So here in New York.
Yeah.
Is that where you play the most here?
Like a comic strip?
Legendary club.
Yeah.
I do the comic strip.
I do my podcast, Kevin Farley on the Road, on there, and then go on the road a lot.
You know what else was touching about back in the days when your brother was part of
SNL and you being in his family and Johnny and everything is how supportive people like
Sandler and Spade and Norm were
when your brother died.
They really loved him, man.
You could tell.
They did.
I think Sandler wrote a great song
and put it on SNL.
That was awesome.
That was really cool.
Do you still talk to Adam a lot?
Once in a while.
John is always in his movies.
He still gets in his movies.
And you want to be in a Sandler movie because that's instant money.
Definitely.
You've never been in a Sandler movie?
I've been in a few.
Waterboy.
You're in the Waterboy.
I was in Waterboy.
And, oh, I don't know.
I've been in a few of them.
I love the fact that you can't remember them.
I know.
There's so many of them.
There are a lot of them. But John usually gets in you can't remember them. There's so many of them.
John usually gets in there.
He'll go... Does your brother John, does he do stand-up?
No.
He's just cruising along.
He's just doing the acting.
That's incredible.
If you know Adam Sandler, you're alright.
I used to bust Norm's balls
because he always wanted to be in Sandler movies.
How can I get in a fucking Sandler movie? I said, you've been right. I used to bust Norm's balls because he always wanted to be in Sandler movies. How am I going to get in a fucking Sandler movie?
I said, you've been in like 80 of them.
Yeah.
Because I'm one of the guys you went to college with.
So I said, you know, I would bust Norm's jobs.
I'd say, you know, Norm, you know what a triple threat is in show business now?
If you went to junior high, high school, and college with Sandler.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Then you're a triple threat.
Because Sandler just pointed to friends that were on his dorm floor.
And said, come on along.
They're all worth a billion dollars now.
Oh, rich now.
It's crazy.
I think Alan Coburn was the doorman of the improv.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, I like Alan, but what the fuck?
He's great.
No, I know.
Listen, I mean, Adam's a loyal guy, man.
As loyal as it gets.
As loyal as it gets.
He's great.
He's always been very sweet to me.
Because when I got on Howard, Howard back in the day, I think since I've left, Adam went on the show.
But, you know, he didn't like Adam's movies.
And he was so.
Howard didn't?
Yeah.
And, you know, Howard.
And I would always defend him.
He goes, I just want to be in those stupid movies.
I'm like, no.
I like him.
And I do.
I think Adam is brilliant.
Oh, yeah.
And I always have.
His albums, everything.
Yeah.
And whenever I saw Sandler, he was always very sweet to me.
He goes, congratulations on that job.
That's a great job.
And I go, yeah.
But did he know that Howard didn't like it?
Yeah, I mean, I guess he did.
I mean, I think it kind of disappointed him.
I think he was a fan.
Yeah.
And, you know, I would tell Norm all he'd have to do is do the show.
But the thing is, Sandler didn't need him.
No.
It's like he would give Springsteen shit, but Springsteen don't need, they don't need each other.
Sandler didn't need Saturday Night Live. He didn like he would give Springsteen shit, but Springsteen don't need, they don't need each other. No, Sandler didn't need
Saturday Night Live.
He didn't do Saturday Night Live.
He was his own man.
Well, I think,
I think Lorne Michaels
passed on Billy Madison
and Happy Gilmore.
Oh, that's what
his mom, right.
I don't think he's ever
gone back to host the show, right?
Well, yeah,
it's just recently.
Oh, he did?
Just recently, yeah.
See, I'm not up on this show.
But I don't think
before that, though.
I've been in jail. That's when I was big in jail right now. Just recently, yeah. See, I'm not up on this show. I don't think before that, though. I've been in jail.
That's when I was big in jail right now.
It used to be.
I was in jail for the last year.
Did Adam host Saturday Night Live?
He did.
But that's why it was such a big deal, because he hadn't for so long.
I don't think he ever hosted it before.
Not until this past year, yeah.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, this past year.
This past year?
Yeah.
And what about Eddie Murphy's going to do it?
Did he do it already?
He did it last night.
The fuck? Are you still in jail? I've got to get the? Did he do it already? He did it last week. The fuck?
Are you still in jail?
I got to get the fuck out of here.
I'm in fucking show business jail is what I'm doing.
I'm sitting next to Shaw True's hair bo-shetty over here.
I'm doing blue-chip commercials.
Yeah, well, I mean, again, can you believe the years that have passed by?
How old are you now?
Well, I'm old.
In my 50s.
Me too.
I'm 52.
I'm 52.
And so, yeah, you and I are about the same age.
Yeah.
As you get into this age, you're like, holy shit, I guess it's coming to an end.
You know?
No, no, no.
Yeah, but first of all, I thought it was coming to an end a long time ago.
Well, yeah.
You know what's funny?
We're all glad you're here.
When your brother passed away, I was 29.
He was 33.
We had just done that movie.
And again, I was in LAX
airport and I saw the dates under his name.
64 to 97. Yeah. And I'm going
like, wow. Like, that's only in a...
Like, you know, I'm the same gender.
Like, that really... It cleaned me up for
a little while. I wish it had cleaned me up forever.
Robin Williams said that about
John Belushi. He said when Belushi died, he
got clean for a long time, I guess.
That went the way it went, too.
You know, it's hard.
Did you ever have addiction issues? Yeah.
I mean, well, I'm Farley, so we're Irish.
You know, I mean, it stems
in the family, you know, and I think...
Just drinking, mostly? Mostly drinking.
Yeah. I mean, but now I'm
sober, you know, and I've done
the whole thing. Yeah, but you gotta
stick close to the program.
Yeah.
And I think that's what helps me a lot.
And also just God.
Yeah.
You've got to stick close to God.
Were you Irish Catholic and really hardcore?
Yeah.
I mean, I'm Roman Catholic.
Yeah, you know.
But I abandoned the church when they started fucking me.
You've got to get back to it.
You've got to get back.
Even though the church, you know, I always see has got some problems.
Yeah, well.
It's still the church. And I go back to the church. Well, I mean the see this has got some problems. Yeah, well. It's still the church.
No, no.
Well, I mean the concept of it.
I go to church every Sunday.
Are you Catholic?
Yeah, I pray for people every day.
Yeah.
Are you Catholic?
No, I'm not religious at all.
I mean, were you brought up Catholic, though?
No, I'm half Catholic, half Jewish.
Oh, there you go.
And I was brought up with nothing.
See, there you go.
Yeah.
I mean, I got a little bit of each religion.
This is my favorite.
I tell this joke in my act.
This is to offend both.
A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street.
They see a 10-year-old boy.
The priest says, you want to fuck him?
The rabbi goes, out of what?
Oh, yeah.
That's one of my favorite church books.
I don't know who wrote that, but he's the funniest guy of all time.
Was there a specific incident that made you get sober?
Was there, like, something that happened, or was it just over time?
Well, Chris, certainly.
So after that.
And then after that, I had a long time.
I thought I could get back into it a little bit.
You can't dabble in it.
You can't.
You can't go back.
You have to have the mindset.
You just can't have another one, you know.
So I don't touch it anymore.
Good for you.
It's one of those things where it's like not for me, you know what I mean?
How long have you been sober for, if you mind me asking?
Well, right now, about three years. Good for you. That, how long have you been sober for? Right now, about three years.
That's a long time.
Prior to that, I had about 15.
Oh, okay.
You just think something...
You thought you could do it.
Relationship went south.
Life throws curveballs.
Life throws curveballs.
All of a sudden, you think you can handle it.
It's not good.
It's never good.
But I think that, you know, I think the only thing that sticks me is stay close to your faith
and then stay close to some kind of program and also talk to people.
Absolutely.
That kind of helps.
I got 10 and a half months.
That's the longest I've had, you know.
I'll be 23 years.
Can you believe this?
23 years.
That's great.
I stick close to guys like you because, you know. You look better. That's great. I stick close to guys like you because, you know.
You look better.
That's right.
Because 23 years is a long time.
That's why Mike is here.
Thank you.
Do you have a problem drinking?
Oh, yeah.
It was horrible.
I started drinking at 14.
Are you Irish?
I'm Italian.
Very Italian.
He's Staten Island, which is Pacific kind of drunk.
But the 23 years is great.
It is, but what you do,
what you did is almost more mature
because you had 15 years,
you go back out,
and then something in your head goes,
it's just the right thing to do
to stay well, you know,
to get better again.
Right, and also,
when you're getting up
and creeping up into the 50s,
you're going to die.
Yeah, of course.
Absolutely.
I can never handle a hangover
like I was in my 20s. That would be horrible. I'm sure you look so hot hungover. Yeah, of course. Yeah, absolutely. I could never handle a hangover like I was in my 20s again.
That would be horrible.
I'm sure you look so hot hungover.
No, no.
No, but two-day hangovers were horrible, getting that drunk.
Oh, so bad.
Pushing out and saying all stuff to people you'd regret.
And also just be like, it's funny how people talk.
Yeah, like, hi, I'm Mike Bocchetti.
No, no, no.
Just like blacking out and like saying inappropriate stuff.
Don't bring the blacks on television.
It is funny. Like, when you've been sober for a while and you kind of think, and you're like, welling out and like saying inappropriate stuff don't bring the blacks on television it is funny like
when you've been sober
for a while
and you kind of think
and you're like
well I'm sober now
I've been you know
three years or whatever
you'll run into that one guy
and be like
you still drinking a lot
and I'm like
what the fuck
who are you talking about
yeah come on let's go
your reputation
doesn't change
no I know
for a long time
and that's what sucks about it
well you know Bobby Slayton
the great stand up guy one of my favorite people.
Around 2006, I was doing stand-up Super Bowl Eve at Mandalay Bay in Vegas.
And I was with my fiancée at the time, Dana.
And, you know, Dana was trying to get me to be good, you know.
And so I think I had put together in Vegas 30 seconds clean.
And it was over.
So, but I think, you know, Bobby kind of knew that. Or maybe he didn't. I don you know. And so I think I had put together in Vegas 30 seconds clean. It was over. So, but I think, you know, Bobby kind of knew that or maybe he didn't.
I don't know.
But this is what I say to him.
Like, you're Slayton.
You're right there.
A foot from me.
I go, Bob, how you doing, man?
This is my fiance, Dana.
And this is what he does.
He goes, how you doing, sweetie?
Hey, you want to go to Hooters and do coke?
I go, Bob, maybe he didn't hear me.
Hi, Bob. This is my fiance, Dana. Right, yeah. Want to go to Hooters and do coke? I go, Bob, maybe he didn't hear me. Hi, Bob,
this is my fiance, David.
Want to go to Hooters
and do coke?
Is there a worse sentence
you could say
in front of someone
significant other?
Want to go to Hooters
and do coke?
First of all, yeah.
Yeah, I do.
Of course I fucking do.
Instead, I'm going to hear
about her day.
Instead, I'm going to hear
about her day at the spa
and how her fucking shoes
are the same as her sister's
so she's got to get a new pair.
I can't wear the same shoes
as my sister.
I'd hate to go to Hooters
and do blow off
some chick's fucking tits.
With Bobby Slade
and all that stuff.
I wouldn't want to live
through that hell again.
It really is,
I mean,
the whole thing
of getting sober
is you say to yourself,
will I ever have fun again
But you know
I guess you can
Oh yeah
I haven't yet but
No
Yeah you gotta give yourself
A lot of time
And then you gotta give yourself
You know once
Once you get
Enough time behind you
And then you don't have
Any cravings anymore
Yeah
But you still have that
Fucked up brain
That goes
Sure
You know
And that will never get rid of No you get rid of the drugs And the drinking But you still have that fucked up brain that goes. You know, and that will never get rid of.
No, you can get rid of the drugs and the drinking.
But you still have a.
You still got you.
A fucked up brain, yeah, that says, like, I like a drink, a bottle of vodka.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That sounds like a good idea.
Jack Danielson, Cocoa Nut.
Oh, yeah.
Now, I mean, you're in a relationship now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now, would you say you're in love?
Yeah, yeah, she's great. Now, what happens if she. We've been together for a while. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, would you say you're in love? Yeah, yeah.
She's great.
Now, what happens if she...
We've been together for a while.
If she flies the coop.
Oh, no.
I mean, the diamond went with the light.
She doesn't drink, no.
But I'm saying, what happens if something went wrong there and she left you?
Well, then, yeah.
I have to bring up a dark faith.
Deal with that.
I know, I know.
Come on, buddy.
Let's go to Hooters and do coke.
What's it going to take?
I think when those dark things happen,
that's where you've got to turn to faith.
If you don't have a God, then you've got to...
So the higher power thing...
It's all of it.
And being around people, I would think.
If you're by yourself and you feel bad,
I think it's so easy to cave.
If you're around people who care about you.
You've got to have prayer. You've got to pray.
You've got to do it.
If you don't do it, then, you know.
God is the boss.
We're just loyal employees.
Yeah.
Well, someone's not so loyal.
I totally am.
I know Kevin.
If there's a guy.
If I was you, I'd be pissed off at God.
I'm not mad at him at all.
Things happen.
You know what I'm saying?
I think things happen.
He's obviously.
Clearly God drink.
He's giving you another chance.
Oh, I'm fucked.
Yeah, 15 of them. Yeah. So he God drink. But he's giving you another chance. Oh, it's about 15 of them.
Yeah, so he wants you.
Let me ask you, Kevin.
You're not done yet.
As someone who knew me a little bit, were you writing me off?
No, I thought that, you know, like most of us.
You could say yes.
No, no, I would never do that.
I would never write anyone off.
I would never write anyone off.
I was just like, you know, you hope, you just hope.
It's like my brother, you know, you just hope, you hope.
Yeah, no, no.
I always keep hope alive.
I mean, for God's sakes, you know, because that's where the prayer comes in.
You got to keep the prayer going because that's what hope is.
It's powerful.
Sure.
It's very powerful.
I mean, you know, not to get all Shawshank on us, but hope is, it is.
It's all you got.
You've got to keep hope.
You've got to keep hope.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I never gave up.
A lot of other people did, though, and I'm just kidding.
One of those people is called show business.
I'm still here, bro.
You're still kicking it, and you never know.
By the way, show business is such a fucked up thing.
And it's very different now.
It's sporadic.
Look at this.
Years ago, I'd have to be know, paving a fucking bathroom.
Right.
Instead, I'm, you know, here.
You can still do it.
Exactly.
Well, also, now you're in a movie, and who knows who sees you, and you're on YouTube,
and eight million kids are following you.
It's completely different than before.
Wait, you were doing another TV show, weren't you, doing another one?
Yeah, Crashing.
Crashing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, I've always been very lucky.
I've always worked. Yeah. Yeah, because, yeah. I mean, I've always been very lucky.
I've always worked.
Yeah.
Yeah, because you're good and you're talented.
So, you know, it's not over for you.
There's always things that you can do.
And that's what you've got to have hope.
You've got to have hope that something's down there.
Well, that's why I have Mike, to look better and to seem more talented.
Yeah.
I mean, again, dude, it's like I didn't realize how much recovery was involved in your life there.
But that is it.
It really is impressive to me as someone who's tried to get better a lot over the years that someone has all that time, goes back out for a while.
How long did you go back out drinking?
Probably like eight years.
Oh, wow.
Well, OK. Yeah, but it was slow.
You know, I would take one drink and be like,
all right, I can handle it.
And then it crept up on me.
You know, like pretty soon I was off to the races, you know.
But that's what happens, man.
You know, I can't do, again, I can't dabble.
I can't do one thing.
No, no.
You can't have one drink, not one freaking drink,
which is fine.
Like, yeah.
But you can't.
Right, sure, some people can.
Some people can.
Those people are called pussies. Those people are called normal. We you can't. Right, sure. Some people can. Some people can,
which unfortunately... Those people are called pussies.
Those people are called normal.
We're not normal.
That's the one thing.
You're not a normal person.
Right, but don't you think
you wouldn't be in this business
if you were normal?
No, exactly.
It's not normal to do stand-up comedy.
It's not normal to do...
It's an odd way to make a living.
It's an odd...
We're like clowns.
It's like circus clowns.
I'm not a clown.
Think about it. A bunch of people overpaying for drinks that you don't know and are going to It's an odd. We're like clowns. It's like circus clowns. Think about a bunch of people
overpaying for drinks that you don't know
and are going to talk about an airport.
The thing about one drink is
my goal is just to get shit-faced, not
just one drink. Well, you succeeded.
You've got a shitty face.
Thank you. When did it start for you guys?
When you guys were kids living in the basement? Were you guys already
drinking? Well, yeah. I mean, in
high school, like everyone,
I didn't know what alcohol was.
I didn't know that.
I didn't know there was such a thing
as being sick with that.
So, no, we had beer
parties, and I found myself
just like everyone. I don't know.
Really, honestly,
I would drink more. I would
just go crazy and drink more and do stupid.
Were you ever – did you think you were ever drinking more than Chris?
Was there ever like –
Well, no.
No, no, no.
He always was – and that took the light off me because he was always getting in trouble.
I mean, that's a hard – I mean, again, I was a partier.
And I was the sneaker in the back, you know, and I was the
guy since Chris was, like, getting
all the heat, I could
kind of, like, hang out and take the drink and be like,
I don't know if Chris is fucked up or not.
Meanwhile, I'm loaded, you know.
That's a guy you can hide behind.
Right, exactly. When we were doing dirty work,
I went to a fucking
strip club in Toronto with Chris. He had chicks
hanging off his arms like King Kong.
Right.
He made a big spectacle.
Live in a van.
Let me ask you about the Matt Foley guy, the motivational speaker.
Was that based on anybody you know?
Yeah, it's a combination.
I live in a van down by the river.
It's a combination of our football coach, my dad.
Oh, your dad, too?
Yeah, my dad and our football coach, and then, yeah, a couple other people.
What kind of father was your dad?
Was he like a disciplinarian?
No, he was.
Just a fun guy?
He was both, I think.
But he was loud and he was really kind of boisterous.
Oh, of course.
That was kind of like the Matt Foley guy.
He was like, hey, what's in here?
That's kind of how my dad sounded.
But yeah, he was loud and boisterous, but a good guy.
You know, we loved our dad.
Chris loved our dad, you know.
Is your mom still around?
Yeah, she's, yeah, in Madison, yeah.
Oh, she's still hanging out.
Well, that's nice.
Yeah.
Your father passed away, though.
He passed away not too long after Chris, you know, 99.
You know, it was a tough, tough couple years.
That is rough, man. It was rough. It tough, tough couple years. That is rough, man.
It was rough.
It was a rough couple years.
But you seem happy.
You know, I want to say it's a pleasure to see you.
It's been a while.
I know.
You seem happy, man.
I feel okay.
I feel like you're in a good place.
I like being on the East Coast.
Right.
I like being away from LA.
Yeah, stay here, dude.
You're better off.
Yeah, I like being out here.
You're a real person.
That's right.
New York is a cool place.
I love doing stand up
It's fun
You know
And so yeah
I am
I'm happy
You got anything
You want to
Anything you want to plug
You got the podcast
My podcast
Kevin Farley on the road
Kevin Farley on the road
And I do
I do voices on
F is for family
Which is
Oh cool
An animated thing
With Bill Burr
That's nice
I love Bill
He's such a good guy
Bill Burr is great
Absolutely He got me a little part on Bill Burr is great. Absolutely.
He got me a little part on there, which is nice of him.
So I do that and, you know, doing my stand-up.
But it's good.
Good for you, man.
So where do you – like Twitter and all that shit?
Oh, yeah.
I'm Kevin Farley on Twitter.
And then Kev Farrell's on Instagram.
Well, thank you so much for coming in, man.
Tell John, your brother, I said hi. I will. I definitely will. Best to everybody. Allie, thank you so much for coming in, man. Tell John, your brother, I said hi.
I will.
I definitely will.
Best to everybody.
Allie, thank you.
Yeah, thanks for having me.
What's your social media?
I'm at Allie Breen.
At Allie Breen.
And Mike, what about you?
Grab me on Cameo.
Keep that money coming in.
That's right.
Let's kick an ass on Cameo.
That's great on Cameo.
We got to get Kevin on Cameo.
It's free money.
No, no.
I know.
It's free money.
I should do it.
Especially if you do voices.
People love that.
Change your thing all day. Really? Yeah, more Asian jokes. I know. It's free money. I should do it. Especially if you do voices. People love that. Change your old name.
Really?
No, again, more Asian jokes.
Terrible.
That's a Norm thing.
Hey, I'm an Asian.
Again.
What the fuck?
More Asian jokes.
This one was for Norm.
All right.
Hey, Kev, I love you, buddy.
I already got it.
I love you, baby.
I'm glad to have you here.
You're the best, and I'm glad to be a part of this whole thing.
I was glad to come in.
Good to see you.
All right.
Artie Lang's Halfway House.
We'll see you next time.
We'll see you next time.