Artie Lange's Podcast Channel - 25 - ANTHONY CUMIA - PART 2
Episode Date: February 7, 2020Artie Lange and Mike Bocchetti interview all-time great radio personality Anthony Cumia! Presented by TheComicsGym.com Thanks to Blue Chew. Go to BlueChew.com and get your first shipment FREE ...(just pay $5 shipping) when you use the promo code ARTIE”. Thanks to Tommy John Underwear. Visit www.TommyJohn.com/Artie for 20% off your next order of the most comfortable underwear ever! Thanks to Manscaped - the makers of the worlds best ball trimmer! Go to www.Manscaped.com and use the promo code Artie for 20% off your first order.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Would you get married again?
No, never.
Never.
People say, someday you might.
First of all, why?
At my age, why the fuck would I want to divvy everything up?
I've had a steady girlfriend now for probably...
The girl I know.
Yeah, yeah.
Very nice.
She's awesome.
Really pretty.
She really is.
She's sweet.
Yeah.
Really good.
And it's like, why would I do that?
Yeah.
It's just...
First of all, I'll fuck it up.
Does she understand?
She gets it.
Yeah.
Hell, she could be saddled with some fucking guy eating baby food and shitting himself next week.
That's the other thing about dating a younger woman.
You start to go like, you're 20 years younger than me.
What if I do get the gout and it never goes away?
What if the foot problem never goes away the next time?
Then she's with limping Guy and fucking Forever 21.
This is my boyfriend,
Limping Guy. Limping Guy.
That's fucking great. No, but that's what it is.
It's like, you know, you gotta make
life decisions based on responsible choices.
Yeah, I mean, you know,
thank God the money is there. That's gotten
me some amazing pussy over
the years. That is the biggest thing. People say looks, whatever it is, the money is there. That's gotten me some amazing pussy over the years.
That is the biggest thing.
People say looks, whatever it is, the money.
Money doesn't buy you happiness, but it does buy you pussy.
If I have cash, I'm going to buy a Beavis.
I love that cat.
He loves my cat.
How do you know his cat?
I met him a couple of times.
He's awesome.
Yeah, he's a Bengal cat. Did you hit on his cat?
Bengal cat.
It looks like a little leopard.
He's awesome.
It looks like a little leopard. It's just one of those things. He's awesome. He looks like a little leopard.
It's just one of those things.
He's unique.
I love that cat.
I love animals.
I just never wanted the responsibility of having it.
I never had kids with my wife, thank God,
because I see married guys that are divorced guys that have kids,
and the fact that they still need a relationship with their significant other.
It's a hard life.
Yeah, well, no.
You're connected to them forever.
It's unbelievable.
The miracle of miracles that I see is the Rich Voss situation.
Like him and his ex-wife and Bonnie and the kids.
They all get along?
Yeah, they all seem to get along.
It's a beautiful family.
Like Rich has a really good thing going.
It's nice.
Beautiful family.
Rich has a really good thing going.
And then the thought of me having to go see that motherfucking Jennifer because we had a kid.
She wanted to have a kid too.
I used to fuck her and make a cum face and noise like I came in her.
So you faked an orgasm?
I faked orgasms.
And then I'd pull out.
We'd lay there a while like, oh, that was awesome.
I hope our little fucking junior is brewing in there.
And then I would go into the bathroom and jack off in the toilet.
You would actually say.
Where my child belongs, the toilet.
You would go as far as to say I hope our little junior's in there?
Well, I didn't say that. My dad said.
I'm sure she was thinking that.
My own dad said a couple times about it.
I sure hope Lil Junior doesn't block up the plumbing
when I flush it down the shitter.
Listen, man.
The kid thing with divorce is just very complicated.
It creates misery.
It creates misery.
You're now saddled
with the person you not only aren't
in love with anymore, you probably fucking
hate. And now you're saddled with that person
for the rest of your life.
So you think a pet is a better option.
That's a better option.
I don't like dogs around when I eat.
My girlfriend said to me once, can we get a dog?
And I said, honey, I get grossed out when you shit my apartment.
When you're eating and that
hot dog breath
is going all over your chicken cutlet.
There's hair all over the fucking place.
How'd you like the Irishman?
What's that?
The movie, The Irishman.
Oh, it was okay.
It was way too fucking long.
I know.
Scorsese is one of those guys who can, he's got such power that he can,
he can, you know, go into details that no one else would go into forever.
No, they would all edit it.
Just like, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
It's like, can we lose this part?
Lose this part.
Yeah.
Like with the broad smoking in the beginning, like we get it.
You don't want her to smoke in the car.
Right.
Yeah.
Pesci, she won an Oscar for that.
She was great.
Pesci was really good.
He underplayed, you know, the whole thing, which was nice.
And then, and then you got Pacino way over the top, which is always funny to watch.
Yeah.
And then, you know, De Niro, I don't know.
Yeah, but an 80-year-old man beating up someone half his age looks like he was 95.
It looks ridiculous.
Yeah, the icy blue eyes.
Yeah, yeah.
That was creepy.
That was weird and creepy, the CGI thing.
They don't quite have it down yet.
I give Scorsese credit for using a brand-new technology like that.
Yeah, but you're right. It should be tech.
If you're going to use technology in a movie of that,
a lot of people are going to see it's a big budget.
Make sure it's perfect. Make sure it looks
absolutely... Because De Niro, it looked like,
oh, I love when I played De Niro in Call of Duty
the other day. I was playing a video
game as De Niro.
You're right. It looked like one of the Wright brothers
were trying to take off in a plane.
Guys, it was one character I loved.
There was one character I loved who I wish I would have been in the movie as.
Sally Bugs.
Why?
Sally Bugs.
Why?
He's a unique character.
He's the same as the other guys, an Italian hitman.
No, no.
He was kind of unique looking.
He was cool.
Because of the Bugs eyes.
Oh, yeah, the Bug eyes.
Yeah, yeah.
He was on Boardwalk Empire. He's been a bunch of things. Those Philly guys's eyes. Oh, yeah, the bug eyes. Yeah, yeah. He was on Boardwalk Empire.
He's been a bunch of things.
Those Philly guys were rough.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Well, the guy, you remember an old show called Making It
with the guy from the Dr. Pepper commercials?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he was also American Werewolf in London.
The bald-headed guy?
Yeah, yeah.
That fucking guy was in it.
The guy from The Sopran his played his brother in it he's
a young guy right curly hair he's like oh yeah it was supposed to be it was supposed to be like a tv
version of saturday night fever it was uh no it was this guy that was in he was uh uh leotardo's
right hand man oh guy with the googly eyes yeah. But he was in that as some young guy. Oh, okay.
With hair and cheeks. It's like, God, time is a bitch, isn't it?
No, a lot of older people, man.
Like, when somebody, especially when a woman gets up there, you know.
Like Jennifer Addison they just showed.
I mean, she's in her 50s.
Yeah, yeah.
They showed her talking to Brad Pitt at one of those award shows.
And she looked, I mean, she looks like.
And you got any
doctor in the world to give you any plastic surgery.
My God.
How the fuck do you look old?
The halftime show with fucking J-Lo's
50 and then Shakira's
42. These would have been considered
old broads back in the day.
They looked fucking amazing.
Shakira's already 42?
I think she's 42.
She does look good for 40. Oh, my God.
She does look good for 42.
And she just looked great.
Yeah.
Michael Imperioli came to Seattle.
He was awesome.
Oh, yeah?
Again, these Mike Bocchetti non-sequiturs brought to you by...
I did stand up on the west side of this club, and Imperioli came.
He was a nice guy.
But it's weird.
Isn't it weird talking to some of those...
You know, if you meet some of those
mafia actors,
you realize the crazy shit
you've seen them do
and then they're just like
these sort of subdued guys.
Yeah,
they're artists.
Yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
And actors.
Yeah,
they talk very lightly.
I want to say,
I don't put audios on stage
so I just let them be.
I was going to go,
hey,
Spider,
dance with me.
Oh,
yeah,
I'm sure he'd love that.
He would love it.
I'm sure he'd love that.
The only one that I, that we had on the show when you
were there, Vincent Curitiba, he seems
like this Johnny Sack. He's awesome, right?
He doesn't seem like a different guy.
And when you read his tweets, you realize he is
Johnny Sack. He's fucking incredible.
I love him acting-wise, too.
He's a good actor, but it's hard to play
even if you really are that guy,
it's hard to play that attitude.
Like, Scorsese's good at taking.
He can make a forklift operator look good in a fucking movie.
Right.
And you realize it's all bullshit.
Gandolfini was a soft-spoken guy, too.
He almost had a lisp.
Yeah.
A little weird.
When you saw him before he was Tony's friend, you go,
maybe a bear thing going on?
Joe Pantleon seems like a character now.
Pantleon seems like a real character in real life.
Oh, Joey Pants?
He's a Hoboken guy, so I've met him.
He's a much more sensitive type guy.
He's like an actor type.
Yeah, an actor.
A real fucking actor.
Have you guys met the real Hey Henry?
Have you met him?
I love him.
Oh, Pesci?
Yeah, yeah.
The real Hey Henry?
No, the real Pesci.
You guys haven't met him?
Oh, Joe Pesci?
I met Joe Pesci once. No, I never met Joe. I met him in Jersey. Was he cool? Not, the real Pesci. You guys haven't met him. Oh, Joe Pesci? I met Joe Pesci once or twice.
No, I never met Joe.
I met him in Jersey.
Was he cool?
Not in show business at all.
I got a...
Just sitting there going somewhere.
No, I mean for two seconds.
I don't even remember meeting me.
He was very...
People were screaming his name.
But he's real...
My whole family's from the neighborhood he grew up in.
He was a hairdresser.
My uncle used to get his hair cut from him.
Hilarious when you think of that.
I guess maybe they knew he was kind of violent.
David DeVito's from New Jersey, right?
DeVito's from Asbury.
Jersey's got an impressive list.
That was in the days where a guy could be a hairdresser that was totally straight.
Oh, yeah.
They got a lot of pussy, man.
Yeah, yeah.
They would get all the pussy.
Warren Beatty and Shampoo.
Oh, there you go.
Wow.
Yeah.
Pull that reference out of your ass.
What about the cardigan sweater now Mike
Was that a Christmas gift
I bought it for myself
I like shopping for myself
Where do you go shopping
Where would you get that
No I got an online shop
That used to be the neighbor's cat
How do you get the size right
And everything online
You just press enormous
Oh no I don't know if you're on there But Audie's been killing on there Cameo How do you get the size right and everything online? You just press enormous. Oh, no.
What do you call it?
I don't know if you're on there, but Audie's been killing on there.
Cameo.
Oh, Cameo.
Are you on there?
No, I'm not on there.
I see Jimmy.
Why?
Chip is on there.
Because I'm busy doing Twitch on video gaming on Twitch.
Yeah, he doesn't need to do that.
No, I actually was looking at it.
I just never signed up for it.
I'll tell you what.
It's a commitment because they come in every day.
Yeah, yeah.
And then you got to fucking, like I was talking to Jeff Ross here,
and Jeff, you know, his life has got to be everybody wants to roast him.
Yeah, yeah.
And they asked me to do it too because, you know,
I guess I'm kind of known for that.
Call me a piece of shit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But then you realize you don't see the person
and maybe, do they want me
to do this? Yeah, how far do they want
you to go?
One of the first times I ever got
paid doing stand-up, this guy booked me
at a bachelor party in Newark, New Jersey
and the best man comes up
and he starts giving me inside information about everybody in the place
and I had to follow a stripper,
which is awful. I had'm at Columbus in Newark.
So he points out this guy that's got, like, a black satin.
Like a bouncer from the Sopranos.
Like a bouncer in a fucking jersey strip club with a satin thing on.
And he's got, like, a big sandwich and shit.
Like something out of a fucking movie.
A hitman from a movie.
And he goes, that's Frankie.
You know, he made out with a broad at Mardi Gras
that turned out
to be a dude
can you make fun of him
about that
oh shit
don't worry about it
I go listen
he doesn't exactly
look like the most
sensitive guy
to a plate of homosexuals
I don't think you want
me to point out
a gay experience
so he goes
no we always do it
we always do it
it'll be fun
so I'm like alright
so I
I'm bombing
I'm bombing
so I say fuck it I'll go for it he's in the back like with a Heineken and a sandwich and I go at least I'm not, all right. So I'm bombing. I'm bombing.
So I say, fuck it. I'll go for it.
He's in the back with a Heineken and a sandwich.
And I go, at least I'm not Frankie.
I never made out with a dude.
And they totally fucking set me up.
Everybody goes, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Oh, shit.
They put their head down.
And he just starts running at me with a fucking, he's holding a Molson with his pinky like,
am I going to throw it at me?
And I ran out the fucking back.
And that's the thing about the cameo.
They say, call my friend an asshole.
We always call his mother a whore.
I'm like, really?
Really?
Someone's going to be at your door beating the shit out of you.
And I'm sitting at home going, well, yeah.
And you're on video doing it.
It's never gone.
It's there forever.
Like, some people, you know, they do it at a party.
And they go, remember that?
I remember that.
You were drunk.
No, here's video of it.
I've done them. I've been selective, though.
Oh, really? Yeah, yeah.
Well, that's what I mean. But Mike, how much do you charge?
20 bucks or something like 60-something.
20 bucks. 60, that's not bad.
That's free money. And it gets wired right to
your account. Yeah. Do you see,
I saw one the other day from Chris
Hansen does one from Catch a Predator.
And he's just, you know, you talk about
saying bad things. He's accusing people of being
pedophiles.
That's right, Anthony.
That's what they want. So the transcript here
says you had sex with a
13-year-old. You're like, what the fuck?
Maybe they didn't want that.
Now I think the second or third show I did
with you he was on, and that was the craziest
fucking time.
He's sitting there going, well, we're doing a new
catch-a-prenter-der serum.
And Artie just turns around and goes, so you fuck
kids? What do you do? You fuck kids?
Holy shit, was that
hilarious. Yeah, he was
had a good sense of humor. Oh, he did?
Yeah, what's he going to do?
Went to fucking jail for passing bad checks.
I was going to say, has that happened? He got
hit with a scandal too, right?
Yeah.
He had some merch thing going on with his new show,
and he paid for the merch with a bounce check.
Oh, my God.
And then the guy was getting pissed that he wouldn't pay him back,
so the cops got involved, and they told him,
you know, Chris, we don't want to fucking make anything.
Just write the guy a check.
Right.
He wrote him a check.
It was another bad check.
So if you write two bad checks, you go away?
I think if the guy presses charges. If you know, yeah. So if you write two bad checks, you go away? I think if... Or the guy presses charges?
If you know, yeah.
If you know you don't have money in the account and you fucking write a check, that's some shit.
Oh, okay.
It's not just, you know, the missus fucked up the numbers or something.
The missus.
They just belt her in the fucking head.
Oh, you fucked up the numbers.
What'd you do, you stupid fuck?
So now, let me ask you something, bro. First of
all, you know, I, towards the end of our tenure there, when I left, I heard you do an interview,
and you know, again, I always felt so weird about what happened, but I always said to people,
people ask me what kind of guy Anthony is. I mean, he's just the greatest guy. He's just like a
non-confrontational guy, just wants everything to be all right. He goes with the flow.
Goes with the flow.
And that's how it is.
Do you, I mean, you and Dave have it.
It's fun.
Like, do you want to keep, how long do you want to keep being on radio?
Yeah, I just like doing it.
It's a lot of fun.
I don't know what else I'd do also.
Right.
I'm not going to.
How would you fill the time?
I'd sail the earth else I'd do also like I'm not gonna I'll sail the earth
like I don't I like
getting up I like doing
this I like being funny
I like being with funny people when I'm sitting
there and fucking Jim Norton
comes in
fucking Norton comes in
and shit like that I mean
that's what I enjoy
because I've been asked that too.
You know, where are you going when you retire?
It's like, how do you retire from this?
It's not like I'm humping fucking steel I-beams up somewhere
and I'll just hang out with funny people.
Right, right, right.
And do shit.
The hundreds will do this.
Is he?
How old is he now?
He's 200.
He's been dead for 100 years.
But I mean, again, it is something where you go,
if you have that attitude, it's fine.
But, you know, when you got
Kevin, we talk about Kevin Brennan, man.
Oh, yeah.
Again, I had him on here.
He burned bridges to a show called Burning Bridges.
That's amazing.
But he told me, I want to get your side of the story,
because I love Keith. I feel bad for the shit he has to deal with
sometimes, because he is the business guy.
He's the other end of it.
And he said he went on his last show and just didn't talk.
Kevin said he just didn't talk.
Oh, really?
He was rebelling against that.
So he went on his own podcast and didn't say anything.
He refused to talk.
Like, that's how he left or something.
I'm like, that has got to be.
That's pretty funny.
But that's also, Kevin, people ask me a lot because of the shit between Keith and Kevin and the shit between Kevin and everybody and stuff.
I think the guy's hilariously funny.
Me too.
That's my argument about him.
He's funny as fuck.
And it's Kevin.
You're not going to, like, I'm not going to get pissed off.
It's the frog and the scorpion.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know?
Hey, hey, give me a ride over. Fuck you, you're a scorpion.
You'll sting me. No!
Then we both die. Oh, okay.
Hop on my back. And he stings me. He goes, why'd you do that?
I'm a scorpion. That's what I do.
It's what I do. And Kevin's the same way.
That's Kevin. Once you appreciate
who he is, to the point
where, why am I going to get mad? I know
Kevin. And I never got mad. And he says
shit sometimes that's way over the
line. Yeah, yeah. But again,
it's Kevin. And then when I go see him in a club
or something, he's hilariously funny.
We just did Chip Chipperson's show.
He's fucking funny as hell.
It wasn't uncomfortable being next to the
guy. I like Kevin. I think he's very funny.
So I don't have a problem.
Keith, on the other hand, has to do the business end
of this whole thing. That's hard to deal with. Like you said, I don't like confrontation, so I don't want to be with it. Keith, on the other hand, has to do the business end of this whole thing.
Like you said, I don't like confrontation, so I don't want to be part of that fucking thing.
And Keith is...
He was a cop, for God's sake.
The way he dealt with these people was
give me the old wood shampoo with a fucking cloth
so now I can't do that.
Give me the old Motorola facial.
That's right, so now you're in show business all of a sudden.
Yeah, yeah, now he's just like,
I got a fucking civilization. That's your great line, Motorola facial. Motorola facial. That's right, so now you're in show business all of a sudden. Yeah, yeah, now he's just like, I got a fucking civilization.
That's your great line, Motorola facial.
Motorola facial.
A fucking maglite
nose job. Whatever the fuck it takes.
Would you ever work with Opie? Would you
ever take Opie back on your network?
We've actually reached out to see
if he wants to come on to the platform.
Whether it's me and him working together
or him doing a show, me doing a show, and then maybe once every so often we cross over and do something to get the ice broken and stuff.
But he's just, he wants nothing to do with me and Jimmy.
Well, can I tell you something, though?
That is surprising knowing the way, when I got to know you, the way you felt about Opie.
It's surprising that you would extend that olive branch.
Yeah, because it's like, first of all,
I'm not a big grudge holder or anything.
But you want to name your book.
What is it?
What did you want to name your book?
I want to name my book,
I Hate Greg Opie Hughes.
And then in parentheses,
no, really, I hate Greg Opie Hughes.
I was a little bitter,
more bitter back then.
Someone had that title?
Yeah, someone already had it.
It was on a fucking list of people waiting to get that.
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No, it's one of those situations
where, look,
you work with somebody
for 20 fucking years,
you're going to piss each other off.
And we did, and when I got fired,
I just felt, and I still feel rightly so,
that he didn't back me up.
After all that time, I think he wanted
me gone, and it was a perfect opportunity
to not go to bat for me.
Whereas if somehow he got fired
and me and Jimmy were left, I would have gone there
and at least bluffed, hey if he's not
coming back, I'm not either, okay bye
on the other hand
it's weird too, give it a try
it's weird when you guys
like you know, you're linked to it
forever because your names are in the show
and then Jimmy became a part of the faculty show
so much
it's odd to make that play
why would you say to yourself oh I, I know I could do this alone.
Pick anybody.
Yeah, yeah.
Pick anybody.
No, it doesn't work that way.
I know for a fact with Robin and Freddie, Howard is like, even though it's, you know,
it's the Howard Stern show, you know, Howard loves how comfortable he is with Robin and
Freddie.
Oh, I think without Robin and Freddie it would be a completely different show.
Yeah.
And who's to say how successful or less successful it would be without those two?
It was like a perfect storm.
Right.
Exactly.
Robin is perfect at what she does, and Fred is just a fucking genius.
But, you know, it's just odd to me in a business setting that someone would go and have that confidence.
Like, look, it's been successful, Opie and Anthony with Jim Norton.
I could do just Opie.
Yeah, I'll just do my show.
It's like Abbott saying, let's get Eddie and Costello.
Let's get anybody.
Eddie and Costello.
Let's get anybody.
It doesn't make any sense.
It's just one of those things where it didn't work out.
Over the years, I've understood.
Look, I wasn't the most pleasant guy, I guess, to work for
as far as he was concerned.
He didn't like some things I was doing.
I really don't see that.
And you know what's funny?
Jim Norton, I never really talked to him about Opie, but when I was getting the job with you,
I asked Jim, he goes, he's the best guy of all time.
Like Jimmy just quickly said.
And you know, Jim is really, he's honest.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
He's not a good liar, which is great.
He makes him a great person. Like, I don't think he'd say something shitty about somebody, but you honest. Oh, yeah, yeah. He's not a good liar, which is great. He makes him a great person.
I don't think he'd say something shitty about somebody, but you could tell.
He'd maybe put his head down and go, I don't know.
But he was like, right away, guys, he's the best guy in the world.
And he was right.
Jimmy's great.
And I still have a lot of those professional and just personal relationships with a lot of the people that I worked with on the Opie and Anthony show, except for Opie.
It's crazy.
And it just gets to the point where you got to start thinking like, all right, let me
look a little deeper.
Was it me?
Did I do something?
This and, you know, Opie's just, now Opie's just out there.
I don't even know what he's doing.
In the radio world, that would be a big story if Opie came back to work with you and some
other, do you think you could finagle it at all?
I don't know.
So it's, it's even some of his people are saying, what are you doing? Why finagle it at all? I don't know.
Even some of his people are saying, what are you doing?
Why don't you just go?
Like I said, I don't even have to see him.
I don't get in there until 3 p.m. to do the show.
We did a show together.
We didn't see each other. He could do a morning show.
If he did a morning show and stuff.
But we've approached numerous times, and he just,
he wasn't even for the idea of us sitting down at a restaurant and meeting with Keith and his guy.
Wow.
And shit.
Like, he just – he's got these ideas that I did things to him.
He always talks about, like, oh, he did things to me.
I'm not going to bring him up.
And people go, what were those things?
I go, nothing.
Well, it's –
Make a – put him in a different tax bracket?
Yeah, exactly.
That's what I mean
when you're talking about success
on a major level.
Huge.
I told you,
the only person
I've ever had a confrontation with
on that show
in the stern day,
like, you know,
when we were both at Sirius
was that time with Opie
in the bathroom.
Yeah, in the bathroom.
And I saw...
And again, to me,
it was all just radio bullshit.
That's what I...
It was under the impression.
It's that,
hey, motherfucker.
And I saw him,
and I said, hey, Opie, what's up?
And Kevin, and
he said, fuck you. I'm like, what are you talking about?
Because you said something about our show. I'm like, what did I say?
It was something so innocuous. I don't even remember what I
said. And then we got into a big shouting match
and Baba Booey had to break it up.
It was actually kind of a funny scene.
Yeah, no shit.
I mean, you know, if we would have fought, that would have been
something for the Hall of Fame. Because, I mean, you know, if we would have fought, that would have been something for the Hall of Fame.
Because, of course, I was on heroin.
Because I would see Gary all the time in the hallways
and the elevators and everything.
And we were always cordial with each other.
Gary's a nice guy.
He'd be in the room doing the after show thing.
I'd always give a wave.
He'd say, hey, how...
Like, I never had a real problem with anyone on that fucking show.
Right.
And, again, that's the thing like with Brennan,
the way he talks about comics,
sometimes the shit he says,
like if you take it
out of context,
I guess, you know,
you can see why people
would get pissed off.
But, you know,
you can't be fucking
overly sensitive.
No, not at all.
In the radio world
And that's how he goes too.
He's one of those guys
that just loves being angry.
Yeah.
Like Kevin is a,
he's an angry comic.
What the shit he says
about his brother
is, like, insane.
Oh, God, yeah.
I mean, it's insane.
Like, I would love to,
like, that would be,
I'd rather,
before Jagger and Richards,
I would like to have
Neil and Kevin next to each other
and just see how that reaction is.
How that would pan out.
Because Neil is like,
you know, I don't know,
whatever, I mean,
I guess I don't know
anything about him,
he doesn't seem like
a nice guy to me,
but the shit he says about him is fucking insane.
And then everyone just goes,
well, he's jealous because he's had relationships
and shows and everything.
Yeah, but he knows more than anybody.
Fuck him. Fuck this guy.
Yeah, but he knows more than anybody, really.
Yeah, well, maybe that's the reason.
They're also 13 years apart.
That's a weird...
Oh, his family story is a great one.
So Irish.
Showbiz is becoming like very,
like especially with the advent of podcasts,
it's a very sensitive, like gluten-free muffin,
you know, white wine.
Oh, yeah.
Climate change.
Climate change shit.
Everybody's RT4 to, you know, woke and transgender.
Well, hey, that's...
Whereas, think of the fucking difference of the Stern show we were brought up on.
Oof.
And then the Stern show that I was on and while you guys were on, like, that radio was...
I don't think people would even understand.
It's, I mean, vicious on a level of, like, you couldn't...
Yeah, you talk about shock radio.
It literally would have shocked people to death.
Oh, yeah. They couldn't handle... Happier than ever whatever what yeah they wouldn't be able to handle what we were
doing i i've said before that i i hear clips people send me a clip ago dude when you guys did
this it was hilarious and i'll give it a listen and it's like holy fuck that's crazy and then the
crazier part is it was wnew fm radio yeah, we were doing that shit that you couldn't get away with
even on podcasts now.
No way.
You would be fucking disowned
by the planet Earth.
No, isn't that the irony, though?
Isn't that the crazy fucking...
It really is.
The crazy fucking irony
is that podcasts are uncensored,
but they're more censored.
More censored.
Because you're afraid...
You can say it.
Yeah.
You can physically, legally say
whatever the fuck you want
without getting fined,
but you will get fined without a career or something.
But now it's the mob that comes after you, the fucking mob of people.
The FCC, when you think about it, was a breeze.
It was pretty straightforward.
Don't do this.
Don't say that.
We'd skirt it.
Don't make a fart noise.
Right.
Every so often we'd skirt the rules.
But now, like, feelings and this and that, and it's so arbitrary.
We thought the FCC was arbitrary.
Well, you use the word crap as a bodily function instead of an exclamation.
It's like, all right, that's arbitrary.
But now you talk about gay people, and it can't even be a bad thing.
You don't just talk about gay people.
gay people. And it can't even be a bad thing. You don't just talk about gay people.
Like, Rogan was
talking about transgender athletes
and biologically
how a man becoming a woman
fighting a woman that was born
a woman could kill her.
The fact that that's even controversial.
And he's a piece of shit for it.
Did he get shit for that? Oh yeah, twice.
Once when he first said it, and now when he backed
Bernie Sanders as a candidate,
and then all the Bernie people are going,
disavow his backing you because he's a transphobic.
Wow.
They don't even want the support.
They don't even want it.
That's another bit of this irony that comes along.
They just start chomping on their own people.
Yeah, the transgender thing,
the particular issue of being like a guy born a guy playing a woman born a woman,
that it really is, I mean, that's just science, right?
The fucked up thing is how this is controversial to the point where as you're saying it into a microphone,
you're thinking, is this going to get me fucked?
You're just discussing that a guy that becomes a woman is going to cave in a guy's head,
a woman's head.
Right.
Has done it.
There actually was a UFC or MMA person.
I'm sure it happens.
I mean, you know.
That killed somebody.
Like, the sports are just running that aren't contact sports, whatever.
You could just, whatever.
These poor.
But with physical shit.
You ever see these poor fucking high school and college girls?
They're running.
This fucking behemoth is in front of them.
And they're just like, they can't win.
They can't get a scholarship.
Most guys, most small guys would get fucked.
And it's this Jack Kenyon.
I mean, they actually said there might be some woman who wanted to be a field goal kicker, maybe.
And she's like, a petite girl who's good at kicking a football.
And
I mean, no. No.
I mean, look at the size of these fucking
guys. Lawrence Taylor would be small
nowadays. They run, they do like a
4-1-40. You could still
pick up a fumble. You could get hit.
You're open game.
And then what's going to happen?
Is there a man that wouldn't pull up and not pummel a fucking, you know?
Could you imagine a late, like, roughing the kicker of a little girl and a fucking monster coming at you?
Great point.
Now, you wanted this.
You wanted this.
You woke people, whatever the fuck.
You wanted this.
Now, let's see.
How do you treat?
Now, that guy's just being an equal.
Right. All for equality.
We get the flag is down on the play,
but now why is the arrest coming and the subsequent lawsuit? Right, exactly.
This is what he would have done with a guy,
it's an equal playing field.
Yeah, yeah. The girl's dead
in two pieces.
And he's like, I don't know, I kind of just, I pulled up a little bit.
Yeah, I actually fucking stopped
a little. No, they don't want that. They don't know, I kind of just, I pulled up a little bit. Yeah, I actually fucking stopped a little.
No, they don't want that.
They don't know what they want.
People that say, yeah, that's one thing, they don't know what they want. And then, like I said, the quest for equality is much better than getting equality.
Whenever you're trying to get equality, civil rights or sexual rights, whatever it is,
it's always great when you're working towards it because you're special.
The second you're equal, now you're just
a piece of shit like everyone else that could
be called an asshole, a shithead.
So no one really wants equality.
They want to fight for their equality.
I don't want to be equal to anybody.
Yeah, but the thing is that, like you said,
the FCC was a bunch of old
accounts that you didn't have to worry about.
Not a lynch mob fucking podcast people
fucking meth heads who will come to kill you.
Meth heads?
You completely missed
the point.
No, but think about it because the FCC
were a bunch of fucking old retired accountants.
I remember they couldn't do shit to you really, right?
But the
lynch mob fucking podcast
fucking meth heads will murder you.
I've never seen someone disappoint more.
When was the last time you heard anybody even complain about the FCC getting on them?
They went back to doing what they're supposed to.
Measure frequencies, dole out the spectrum of fucking radio signals, all that shit.
They were never supposed to tell you what you could or couldn't say.
And now they're gone because doing a much better, worse job at it is the general public.
You could say that we were a part of the one time where, like, remember people always said
about the Howard Stern Show when we were younger listening to it, what if he was completely
unsensical?
Right.
What would happen?
God.
When you guys first went to Sirius and when, I mean, you know, Satellite,
and we did,
there was a five-year period there
where you saw what it would be like.
And it was out of control.
Like, the four years I was on Sirius with Howard,
it was crazy.
The shit, again, I listen, I go,
the shit we did, that's fucking insane.
That's fucking insane.
And then this revolution happened
where even Howard pulled back.
You know, you get fired for whatever,
or you break up the band
yeah
you know now you're
doing a thing
and now podcasting
comes in
and now there is
like imagine in 1988
when you heard Sam
Kinison on the Stern
show and all that
crazy
there's a land off
about 30 years from now
where there's gonna be
nothing but uncensored
shows on
and they're more tame
and they're more tame
more censored
than any fucking thing
and there's more of a danger
if you step over some vague line.
There's bigger consequences.
Bigger consequences than just an FCC fine.
They used to litigate everything.
So CBS would be,
all right, we got a fine.
Well, we'll just litigate it.
We'll make a contribution after a couple of years
and it goes away.
You do the sleazy thing a corporation does.
Right, that's what a corporation does.
Now you get thrown out of society. You do the sleazy thing a corporation does. Right, that's what a corporation does. Now, you get
thrown out of society.
You are now a Nazi
or you're a womanizer. There's actually more at stake and it's
not really a government agency
doing it. No, it's the mob.
We are worse.
That big brother of 1984
that we all imagined
being some government entity
and stuff just turned out to be all of us.
Right.
That's who's doing the watching.
You'll be modern day Fatty Arbuckle.
Well,
there you go.
Another point missed.
This,
this Mike Foschetti missed point.
Is that a Pepsi commercial?
They would hang him there.
They hung him there.
Fatty,
let me explain Mike's reference.
Fatty Arbuckle,
the old movie star,
the big fat guy was accused of rape and he didn't get it. Yeahty Arbuckle, the old movie star, the big fat guy, was accused of rape.
Yeah.
Okay, so that was a rape case.
We're talking about actual words.
They said he was innocent and fucked him for life.
He's going to keep the Fatty Arbuckle reference.
What a good man.
Yeah.
Again, like Mike Tyson, I think he was bamboozled.
But that is such an interesting point that it's more tame than ever.
When you could just be saying whatever the fuck you wanted to.
You would think, and you brought up a great point about how we were part of that time where you did wonder.
It was nuts.
Imagine what it would be like.
And when we were at XM, before XM and Sirius got together, and you guys were over at Sirius, we were at xm before xm and serious got together and you guys were over at serious we were at xm we had a studio big studio where we had an audience come in and
every giant gymnasium like area outside of our studio that we could do anything we would go down
on the streets get homeless guys bring them up and do prostate exams we'd have doctors just shoving
fingers with their mic in front of them so they go,
and it was some of the
funniest shit you've ever seen.
Yeah, the world's biggest hemorrhoid contest,
but I just realized we did that on K-Rock.
On K-Rock, regular radio.
We had this box, we put a box
and put free kittens on
the outside, and we're hanging out the
window of 57th Street
with our microphones, because we didn't have video, but it was so funny for us. And inside the box was hardcore
gay pornography stuck to the sides of the box and dildos. And then we'd put free kittens
on the outside with holes and just left it on the sidewalk. And you'd see people going
like, what? And they'd open the box up and just be horrified. And you just hear us
going,
and we just laugh. It was
so funny. Is there gay pornography
that's not hardcore? Let me ask you that.
Good point. Hardcore
gay pornography.
Not that fucking tame shit.
Yeah. No, that is
again, the pitch, every Thursday
at the Stern Show we had a pitch meeting and series, and the shit, like, the stuff that,
and you'd go, what did you just say?
And he'd go, let's try it.
And, like, so that's what it was.
It was that sort of, you know, it was the storm before the calm.
Yeah, yes, the storm before the calm.
And, you know, it really was a fun time.
Yeah, the more freedom.
But the world is just...
The world got different.
The more freedom we got to say whatever we wanted,
the more restriction was put on by the people
that, what, got offended by it?
Because I think that was...
The minority of people were the ones pissed off.
Well, the other thing that changed, too,
about the world is obviously social media.
Yeah.
Because one person gets that voice that could just...
Yeah, now they could spread it around and say what a piece of shit this guy is.
That's the difference.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, that's part of it.
Also, the sensitive culture, but that's the difference.
Yeah, because now everyone's petrified to say you slip up.
Listen, man.
Oh.
You know.
It's fucking...
It's a real thing.
It's a real thing.
And the FCC was nothing
compared to what they could do
compared to the mob
I had the kid Shane on
the kid Shane
oh yeah
Shane Gillis
yeah Shane Gillis
great guy
and funny
and I felt bad for him
and I heard his situation
he gave me the details
it was one kid
who found
you know they call it
a deep dive
like to find that
if you said anything
if you said anything offensive
if we got a job
it'd be a very shallow dive
it'd be the shallowest dive
but um
so
so it was a
it was a kid
in like Iowa
who's like a 21 year old poet
calls himself a poet
motherfucker
I mean don't you just know the kid
of course
you can picture him
and that guy
his name is Chandler
that guy said
this offends me and cut to Lorne fucking Michaels talking to the head of NBC and then firing a kid.
How the hell did that happen?
How did we give people such access to get to the important people?
And then how did we give him the ability to be important?
Right.
Like to even be important enough.
Lorne Michaels should have gone, oh, who's this fucking guy?
Well, that's what I said to Shane.
I said the guys like Lorne were so powerful
until those guys start telling people like that to fuck off,
nothing's going to change.
Yeah, yeah.
But I think they just think the role, you know,
the fucking cat's out of the bag.
Yeah.
You know, it's not going to change.
I love bringing up the analogy of you get like Clark Abel back in the 30s,
Gone with the Wind.
Fatty Arbuckle.
Fatty Arbuckle.
And someone just being able to go, hey, you suck.
Gone with the Wind sucked.
You got big ears and fucking you're a dick.
And he's like, oh, my God, I can't believe this.
I'm bluffing you.
Like it never got to them.
Never.
Clark Abel, care of MGM Pictures.
And some publicist would open it, stamp a picture with his name, and send him a fan
fucking...
Hey, man.
Hey, man was an art form.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There wasn't...
It never got to Clark Gable.
Yeah.
And when the guy got the picture, everything was fine.
Everything was fine.
Which I actually think is a similar thing with these motherfuckers.
You just get... Like, you ever notice, like, someone gives you shit on Twitter?
Oh, yeah.
You just, if you retweet or something, oh, dude, I've always been a fan.
Why?
Why I got retweeted?
Yeah.
No, really?
Shut the fuck up.
Let me go back a couple of lines when you called me.
I got banned.
I'm banned from Twitter now, man.
Awful shit.
I'm banned from Twitter for, like, shit.
Explain that.
What happened?
I started fighting with some dickheads.
And you call them dickheads?
What did you say to them?
I forgot what I said, but they banned me.
Was it because of the ideology in your post or was it specific words?
I didn't threaten anybody with physical violence.
Okay.
Did you call them like a douchebag or a...
Maybe a dickface.
Dickface.
You can't even call people douchebags anymore.
Why is that?
I don't know. The rules actually say you cannot put something to somebody or a dick face. You can't even call people douchebags anymore. Why is that?
The rules actually say you cannot put something to somebody,
put a name to somebody that is
derogatory. So even shithead,
like, oh, that guy's a shithead,
technically they could pull you right the fuck off for that.
Right off what?
Instagram, Twitter.
Oh, Twitter.
Instagram too.
So if you call somebody a douchebag or a shithead? Instagram, Twitter. Oh, Twitter. Oh, okay. Yeah, oh, Twitter, yeah. Instagram, too. They're sensitive like that now.
So if you call somebody a douchebag or a shithead?
Yeah, a douchebag or a shithead, it's like technically if someone complained or did that,
I don't even do that now.
That's why you got banned for calling somebody an asswipe, I think.
Yeah.
I'm not even on anymore.
I let my manager do it.
I'm not.
You're so much better off.
Why bother?
So much better off.
I promote you. I let my manager do it. Yeah. So much better off. Why bother? So much better off. I promote you.
I let my manager do it.
Yeah.
So much better off.
Promote stuff.
It's horrible on me.
Every so often you put out a joke, it's terrible.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, my God.
Well, now that Mike's off, I might get back to that.
Now that they've gotten rid of that evil.
Fatty Arbuckle.
Fatty was awesome.
He was a movie star.
He was a millionaire.
Multi-millionaire.
I see you fashioned your life after him.
This point missed.
This Mike Buscetti point missed, Roger.
Listen, Ed, I appreciate you coming in.
I love it.
I'm so glad.
I've been waiting because I just hear great things about the show
and with Rich Voss was hilarious.
You know, you guys fucking.
Well, that was another great time
on your show.
I'd be dying to come over there.
Yeah, yeah.
I'd be dying to come on.
I just don't know what day...
I gotta get you a fucking
E-Rox right now.
Well, you just fucking...
You're just muscling your way in.
That's inappropriate.
Muscle your way right on the show.
That's how it works.
No, but he told Anthony
he should have done
a couple of months ago
and I shouldn't have been there.
Do you remember
Bo Shetty had that thing,
a morning show where you had a green screen
and he wore green?
It keyed out
so all you saw was floating Bo Shetty head.
I wore green
in the green screen.
Did you ever hear that that's why
it's a green screen?
If you wear something green,
I thought it didn't matter.
That will disappear.
Who was the other guy? That sweater should disappear. Yeah, if you wear something green. I thought it didn't matter. That will disappear, so it was you.
Who was the other guy?
Oh, Bobo.
Oh, Bobo.
That sweater should disappear.
No, but I didn't think green would matter with a green thing.
I didn't realize.
Yeah, green, green.
I never see you wear green.
Was that just shit luck?
Yeah, I didn't figure it.
You've got to have a green screen every St. Patrick's Day.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Just to fuck with people.
Yeah, we did that one St. Patrick's Day.
I wore the green sash and the hat and everything.
And just I was cut up into many different pieces.
You know, fun with the green screen, like the weathermen do.
Is there anything you want to plug, buddy?
Just Compound Media.
Compound Media.
Go to Compound Media and you get all the information there for a bunch of the fun programming we have there.
Anthony, you were always good to me.
I appreciate everything.
I'm glad we're friends.
Absolutely, man.
And I will see you soon.
Absolutely.
Cool.
Thank you, Artie.
Great job.
So good to see you.
Borshetti, any closing thoughts?
We love you, Anthony.
You're the best.
Thank you, sir.
Later on.
That's awesome, man.
Very cool.