Athletico Mince - Boiled Parsnips 25: Over To Stockley Park
Episode Date: December 1, 2022Mark Hughes updates the BMLC, a farming quiz, Lawro in Venezuela, Howe visits Hunt, and Dom’s fog egg. (Rec: 28/2/22) Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. S...ee acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Music
Good evening Andrew.
See!
Good evening.
Welcome to Past Snips.
Yes.
I was at Azdiya's there and I thought what I do is record and do a commentary of the block next
Next to me at the self checkout getting this shopping. All right. Quite enjoyed it. I'll play it for you see if it gets you in the mood. All right, please do
We'll leave to a bubble gum flavisoda there
Two large saxoph of frozen chicken dippers.
Ten hot dogs.
Packet of instant batter.
All two tins of valuements there.
Extra strong bog brush.
Two litres of fat UHD milk.
Bottled rain away sink and blocker, revive under
pant freshener, oh a Thompson's toilet chisel, bed bug crystals, toothpaste, always
put, he's put that back, a metal Mickey bubble bath, carrot one carrot, oh no he's
put that back and that's the end of his shopping
there's a nice little selection there it was of course my co-host Andrew Dawson
oh Mr Blue Drink with your hot dogs and blocks sink, why did you buy that batter?
It's going to make you much better.
So, did you see me next year Nazda?
I didn't notice you, were you disguise or something like that?
No, but I kept me head down.
Oh well, I probably wise, don't really pay attention.
Yeah, well, well, well, well observed.
What's wrong with instant butter anyway?
Haha.
Relationship butter.
Relationship butter.
So I like the way you say butter.
Butter.
So you say I like instant butter.
Instant butter.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's just butter.
Fresh on instant.
I'm thinking that you're certainly fresh butter though.
Fresh butter from the Delhi counter.
I mean it's back, it's the back of week, it's, it's sort of chose to pancake there,
biggest day of the year, it's coming up. It's coming up, yeah.
Will you be cooking your pancakes, Andy, for the nippers or anything?
Well obviously, yeah, well, but I've got a vegan daughter, or some of got to get the vegan butter.
We did a trial run with it the day just in case
it all goes to shit.
And it was probably about 65% successful, I think.
It's one of them, you know, where you get the plastic bottle
and you've got to fill the thing up to the line
with water and then shake it, but it never works properly
because there's always still bits of lumps.
And some of the
powder still stuck in the bottom and the corners of the bottle and it was 65% successful. But
we've learned and come true, it'll all be good, hopefully. Do you make American pancakes,
are the British ones, the thin ones? What an American pancake I'm not sure.
You know the thick ones the ones that are like fluffy.
No British, British nice and thin.
Yeah, just like what I've had since I was a kid.
Yeah, my mum always used to say that it's not a good pancake
unless you can spit through it.
So I mean there's a way of testin' this thing.
That's what it is. Well we've just both watched that cup final,
that lead cup final. Yeah. And I enjoyed it. You enjoy it. I enjoyed it immensely.
The famous I've not really caring about either team because they're both
part of the ill-fated soup beleague, which I'm still hungry about many months on.
But it was nice to see that gold cape
but come on, not see of any penalties
and then sky it over the top to hand them much.
Well, I thought that was very funny.
You would think that the likes of Middlesbrough,
Sunderland and some others should start a shit league.
I mean, you wouldn't call it shit league, but a different type of league where we allow a bit of tackling,
allow a foul throw or two.
Yeah, they call it the alternative league or something like that.
Yeah, the real league.
Yeah, and maybe like you're captain, as to do a bit of karaoke.
Your players have got a drive running cars that are sponsored by local dealership and
other names written on the side.
Yeah, we're getting nostalgic out with all of that.
We just turn it into old men talking about the past that way.
Yeah, sorry about that.
You've probably heard Andrew, Mr Mark Hughes, has taken the managed job at Bradford.
Luckily for me, the lads at Infinity Rocket Plastics have recently installed a tap on his mobile phone
using a procedure called Hot Todding.
Oh Hot Todding, right?
That's a nice name for a Hacking procedure, isn't it?
Very much so, yeah.
Very nice name for it.
They managed to record a telephone conversation between Mark and the chairman of the British
Managers Lunch Club, Mr Sam Aladice. Oh good. Yeah. You're excited about that. Indeed.
It's actually exciting. It's thrilled. Yeah.
Shall I play that for you then? Please do.
Hello Mark. Sam, Sam here. Sam Aladice. Is that you, Sunshan?
Yes, I suppose. That's what I've been told anyway.
But I just wanted to congratulate you. New job at Bradford. What's your plan?
Perfect job for me. You know Bradford and has the fifth highest number of manufacturing businesses in the UK
Well, what what's that got to do? What's that got to know? What I don't see your point mark
Oh, what's that got to do? What's that got to do?
I don't see your point, Mark.
Well, I've been struggling to find a UK manufacturer
for my men's peephole skinnies, my cuddling blankets.
So I'm hoping to find some good contacts in the area.
What an earth a cuddling blanket's mark.
Oh, they sort of soft pastel colored blankets
for men to hold on to with their
upsets. I need reassurance. I'm hoping to impregnate them with sweet perfumes to
help you know ease their distress. Oh, oh, oh, are these blocks that need
Cuddly blankets? Sounds like something only losses would need. No, just ordinary blocks, you know, or a bit upset, or maybe just want to have some me time, you know?
Help reset their stress levels.
I can't see that, I can't see it, mate.
I think most blocks would just prefer a pint or maybe enough to know down the bookies.
Failing that, maybe a fight with some yoghons.
But never mind that, what's your plan as a manager
of Bradford Football Club?
Well, I got two and a half year deal,
and to be honest, if my cuddling blankets
and snuggle mittens take off,
I'll probably just let it rot,
blame lack of violence or support, you know?
If the blankets and mittens bomb,
then I'll spend up this summer, get them promoted, get a new deal and then destroy an exit with a payoff.
So either way it's looking good. It sounds good to me Mark. Listen, before you go, can I ask, how much are the people skinny pants?
Are they in a... Sorry, how much are they? Sorry about that Mac. How much are they in a three times
actual large? Well in 1999 but I can send you a pair if you cover postage. Thank you,
Mac and good fucking look. You know, there it is and the...
That's it. Yeah. That's it. I mean, Bradford, it's not disrespect to Bradford, but it's like use is is gradually spiral and downwards through the legs.
Yeah, looking for his true level.
I know what he means is, I think the fifth largest manufacturing city in the UK. So I, I know where he's coming from.
That's, that's got to be towards, towards its benefits, I think. Yeah.
Would you, would you buy a Cudlin blanket Andy?
I would.
Out of the complete gift set if it was available or if I get one sent to me for free.
So you'd have the Strass Mittens, the Cudlin blanket and the Papers, Gini Gains.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
The whole lot.
He might be on the summit.
Well, you never know.
It could be where this podcast eventually
had it. I've got a new format of quiz for you if you're interested. Yes. It's like pause
there but okay I'm gauging your enthusiasm already. No I mean it's okay it's called from
centre spot to shit farm. Right and I'm going to give you three football clubs and I'm
talking about the distance between the center spot on their pitch to the nearest
sewage treatment facility. Oh Andy can I just put me forward down at one of
applaud you. Thank you very much yes I'm interested. Okay, three clubs, now you can give us them further to wear or closest to the centre
spots.
Okay, if you like, but these are the closest shit farms to Plymouth, our Gile.
Right. Everton.
Right.
And Dunbatten.
Oh, Everton would there be a shit farm in the middle there like that.
I'm going to go dumb bottom,
nearest, then his plymeth is in.
Plymeth is in.
Then Everton.
So you're saying dumb bottom nearest?
Ah! No, I don't. Yeah.
Then plymeth, and then evert further stir where? You have got it, then to himoth and then haven't furthered the way. You have got it completely wrong.
Sorry about that, Everton, the nearest one to the centre spot, good as in the nearest
ship farm is 1.9 miles away, Plymouth are a gale, 6.5 miles and Dunbatten is seven miles. So, what are fun? Is there a lot of ship farms?
More than I thought they were,
and they're quite close to all of us at all times,
but that's the outcome there.
You failed, but thank you for playing
from center spot to ship farm, Mr Mortimer.
I enjoyed it very much, Andrew.
Thank you.
Can I just say that I did visit a ship farm?
Not so long back.
Did you have two of it?
And all the stuff comes down a great big pipe here.
And the first thing it made is a meat is a massive
but fairly simple filter, you know, like chicken wire.
Right, yeah.
And the stuff that's caught in that chicken wire,
I'm trying to think how to, it's powerful.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, it visibly, it's a four-foot.
It is, it's a four-foot.
Everything.
Oh God, the order man, the order man.
Oh, thank you, thank you.
This is extraordinary.
And like it's powerful, you know like crocodile's eyes,
I have stared into a crocodile's eyes.
And it's telling, it's, you know, it says keep away.
Yeah.
And the physical look of this stuff said do not approach.
It's a bubbling towel and I won't go on about it, Andy.
I'm just trying to establish at least,
shit farm credentials.
I have, I have one question.
Yeah.
How was this shit farm to a ranged? When I was doing my fishing show, I thought it'd be nice because we were fishing next to a pipe,
you know, from a shit farm. Right. And I thought, is that really nice that that's, you know,
should that really be coming in? So we followed up the local water board and said, can we have a look?
All right, but it didn't make it to the... Did it get filmed?
Did it get filmed?
Yeah, it got filmed.
Yeah, we got a drone right into the filter system
because no camera man would go and knew it.
So that's a very useful aspect of a drone.
It'll go where man fears, you know?
Yeah, like the sky, for example.
Yeah, mainly the sky, yeah.
I tell you what, I got a great one from Infinity this week. What you got? So pleased with it. They've managed to whatever
it is hacking. I think they use something called a Ben Apple Proceeds, something electronic
hacking procedure you know. All right yeah. And so've got, I've got a little bit of footage
from Stockley Park whilst they were doing a match, you know.
Yeah.
So it's the bar, that's where they do the bar, isn't it?
Yeah.
Yeah, where the remote ref makes the decisions.
It was Craig Parson was in there this week.
It's quite interesting.
You can see it's a small, quite a small, much smaller room than you might think.
I'd say probably looks like there's eight different screens. There's Craig Paulson sat in the middle.
There's like a tech operator, a fellow, you know, does the slowing down, draws, zooms in on shit and that, you know.
And there's also a woman there. I think she's like doing admin to keep in a record of what's what's what goes on
and that. They were watching a palace versus Liverpool match from last weekend. Just as the footage
starts the lady is brought in a cup of coffee in a plate of rum bar bars. There you go, that's a nice plate of bar bars to go with your coffee.
Wow, thanks. I think it's your key, Cous. Oh, thanks, Scattle. I love a bar bar in the afternoon.
It feels really naughty. You're going to have one, Terry.
Yeah, go on, why not? Hey, Craig, I'll look at that top right screen.
Ooh, that's that Roger Moore. Caw, I don't mind if I down the back and rudge his belt.
Melt up, Carol, this is Varum, not the Fnaa-Rum, do get it, get it?
Similar sounding words of very contrasting meanings.
Very inventive that, Craig. Now watch, look, using this little stick here.
I can reverse the picture and make it look like he's sticking the gun in his pants
to AJ, show off a clean-berry that's trapped in his pants, watch!
Oh that's terrific, telly. Do you see that, Carol? What a bloody fantastic yokes of the tech.
Oh that's amazing, I tell you what, you can reverse my technology anytime he wants to, he he he he he he he
He can reverse my technology any time he wants to. He he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he but tell me what's that on his head check out the shadow it looks a bit like a leg of lamb oh yeah see it yeah cool it could be a section of an exhaust box from I don't know Yamaha scooter it could be a cat and that's mistaken is hair for
a liturgy oh it's a good call cattle think is get this we will never know
because as I press play you you'll see, as the
doors open, there's nothing on his head.
Spooky, stuff-tary. It's amazing what your mind conjures up, if you stare at something
long enough in it. Oh, this rum bar-baz delicious, Carol, you must give me a recipe.
Today, the Reyoto was celebrity-dating last night night, that bloke from me and in Chelsea
and a shit in a bus stop!
Oh shit, shush, shush, it's Mac fucking Dean.
Hello, Stockley Park, you'd like me to check for a possible penalty award for a foul
unjotted.
No worries, Mac, just give us a minute.
Can you get the match up on the big screen, Terry?
Shit, no, I can't, I'm using all that screen to edit me TikToks.
Hey, have a look at the bottom left. Just viewing the incident now, Mike?
Kate would definitely make contact with Jotter as far as I can see.
What'd you reckon, Craig? Let's slow down footage and then reverse it.
Let's slow down footage and then reverse it. Oh that makes the keeper look like a dog who happens us on the grass in the park, the dirty devil.
Seems to me, Jotter has already lost control at ball.
Yeah, does that matter? I mean the fouls are foul, isn't it?
Well, I don't really know, to be honest.
Is that clear and obvious error by the ref?
Oh come on hurry up, your coffee's getting cold.
Who is the referee in this match?
It's Mark Dean.
Oh can't stand him.
I bought him some Battenberg in last week when he was here and he never touched it.
Oh place stunk of vinegar crisps after he left as well.
Did he give the penalty?
No, no he said no penalty.
Well say it's to penalty then.
Ah, it's good call, Carol.
Mike, we have reviewed the footage and concluded that a foul occurred in the box, therefore
a penalty should be awarded.
Yeah, no, thank you, Mike.
Yeah, so they were on their way on from a restaurant and he just knitted behind his
bus stop and I know shit! Look, I've got the footage up there, middle right, have a look!
Alright, okay, don't forget to give me that recipe before you leave, Cattle.
That's stuckly, Fag! That's what actually happened.
That's what goes on! Yeah?
God, I had no idea!
Thanks again to infinitely rocker plastics. We're going over live to the Venezuelan Third Division where Mark Lawrenceson is doing some commentary. He's now the the Saul or commentator.
He's not a number two anymore and he's doing the Venezuelan 3rd Division for English speaking audiences of all life and I've listened to see what's going on there right now.
Long-barred, punted forward there. Flag's gone up, number 9's offside.
Looking at the cloud actually above the away end.
It's got more than a passing resemblance
to my rabbit and Gainer.
Ball's just gone out there
over the halfway line, throw in.
Well, that's Mark.
We'll come back maybe and get a bit more of that later on.
Yeah, there's seven of the a lull in the game.
Yeah, maybe you've got them a bad time, probably.
I've got a crime files.
Okay.
I haven't sent it to you.
Why not?
I've done really no, I don't think so.
But you'll just have to instinctively feel you wear around the tension moments.
Do you know what I mean? That's a bit of fun, isn't it?
Yeah.
Crime files.
The Northumberland village of Martin is renowned for its 16th century market cross
and its close proximity to the open expanses surrounding the Kielder reservoir.
The nearest police
station is located in Hexham some 40 minutes away. Fortunately for its residents there
has been virtually zero crime for nearly 10 years. That was until the 24th of April 2019
when everything changed. TEE! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA On the morning of the 24th of April, Neil was alone in his workshop putting the finishing
touches to a utility vase decorated with screaming children and neglected dogs.
He was listening to David Bowie tape on his portable stereo unit.
He was singing along.
Fashion!
Move to the left!
Fashion!
Move to the right!
We are the good squadron, we're coming to town!
BEEP BEEP! At this moment the door to the nonsense pottery opened and inwalked Newcastle United manager,
Eddie Howe!
Nice!
And Bob do the f-fuck-fuck fashion, f-fuck-fuck fashion. Actually, a f-cking wicked lyrics choir makes a change from all the modern crest bang-boying
ball-up-sauce-pan music.
Neil turns off his stereo.
For Christ's sake, I was enjoying that.
Did you say something, matey?
Did you actually say something
without any indication that it was required of you? Well did you? I was just
singing along to the fucking Lewis mate. I've never had to ask permission to do
that before in my fucking rush. That's because you've never been in my nonsense
pottery before. Now what does it
that you want? What do you actually want? And back in with the swearing there's a church not a quarter
a mile from here. As you wish, Skwara? I'm looking for a centerpiece to go with all the touch in the
trophy cabinet at St James's is park something a bit of a
different something we're fighting at it's huge I do biggie fucking pardon by
all right I don't fashion trophies I'm a potter now if that's all you want
candy leaves so I can listen to ashes to ashes oh I love that one. My mum said to get things done, you better not miss the Mr. Focked
Tom.
There you go again, sitting without permission I might have. Like a simple toned
bedding for scraps and it's major Tom, not Mr. Tom.
Oh yeah, what about that vase there? That's a fuck I don't know what the- You could't afford that matey.
I hate your fine mafafuckin' gun.
BFFF
My club is the richest in the world.
It's not for sale.
Why for a dot?
Because I don't like you.
Why for a dot?
Because you're a choir boy in adult clothing. Have a
dine seen you on songs of fucking praise. Say that again mate and I'll take your fucking
middle face and turn it inside, fucking out. You're a choir boy in men's clothes. At this
point Eddie Hale removes a prison shank fashioned from a toothbrush from his pocket
and lunges towards Neil.
He grabs him by the collar and places the point of the shank into Neil's nostril, a small
line of blood drips into Neil's mouth.
Oh shit.
Sorry I was too engrossed in it. Get off me! Get fucking you could shut up as well! Get off me! Get off me! Do you not know who I am?
Yo, who are you, Squire? King fucking shit, those?
I'll have you know, my niece's husband's gardener has the largest collection of Stanley knives and vintage shears in the Thumbeland, and my son's wife's best friend has the telephone number of the Ministry of Defence.
Yeah, I've got a fucking shank position, half way up your fucking nostril,
so I'm fucking winning the squad.
Okay, okay, you are. Why is it always little old me?
Okay, you are why is it always little old me and polished every single tind donation at this year's harvest festival And I once calmed an annoying baby by dangling my keys in its face. I don't fucking deserve this
Perhaps you would like to withdraw your mark. Yes, yes, I will. I won't you're not a choir boy
your mark. Yes, yes, I will. I will. You're not a choir boy. So what am I then? An inexperienced but potentially average football manager. Correct. Now about that pot.
Yes, okay, you can have it. I'll give it to you half price if you just leave me alone just 30,000 pounds. 30k of the Queen's singles no fucking worries that is just a drip of piss in an ocean of
hearts from our club I'll take it and wish you all the fucking rest with your nonsense
fucking pottery and good fucking luck with your fucking plants.
Eddie leaves the shop with the neglected dogs vase. A smile comes over Neil's face.
Ha, fucking har! That vase was a failed bake. I was going to try and shift it in the charity
shop. Hundred quid max, I'm Neil Hunt and I'm loving life. There's a star, man, he's kicked in with me die.
He'd like to come and greet his cosy nose, it's all worthwhile.
And that's the end, then, Jim.
So there you have it, you know.
Ah, that was what was falling in this small, nothing but town of Martin.
Lovely.
How was that commentary going, my Martin Lawrence, and then is it not going on again?
We'll pop back over and see what's happening there.
Yellow car there for the keeper, time wasting.
Can't blame him to be honest I've just signed up for that
ticky talk but I can't find anyone worth following on it so far I'm following Land Rover
and Celine Dion needs more than post very much that seems like a waste of time really
very much, that seems like a waste of time really. Throw in. And that's yeah, that's all the time. Maybe we'll go back into the time, I'm not sure.
Hey, how are we? Welcome to the Don't Putt with me. Do you really get the word from daytime VVJ one?
August, this week is not over then.
VVC 2 celebrity.
We're so blah blah blah.
Hi, darling.
Well, thanks for joining me again today.
We're just going to have a little chat about you
saying that, you know, to the fat over a few issues and whatever
Yeah, but pancake day coming up that if you're talking about that with anybody recently do you still observe pancake day boom
Yeah, I'll try to have six to try to have a half a dozen on pancake
Yeah, a lot of people say it's got a big commercialized these days
Yeah, a lot of people say it's got a big commercialized these days
I mean the do they give prominence to the lemon jiff lamonds in the supermarket and that's not really
I ain't got the opinion of it over the fence when it comes to pancake day
For me already further. I must mention this I need to take around with the same few words about my new book
Let's cover it out It's part memoir
Part personal blueprint for a better way of life
It's called Dominic Littlewoods tin through and jugging
And it's available in all good bookshops now
Got a buy a copy of me happy indeed happy indeed. Okay, back to the podcast.
Four we go, I've got a little game show format
that I'll be working on.
But, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, Okay, the fog. Here's how it works, the fog. Two teams each and them inside a great big sealed egg.
And they take turns answering general knowledge questions.
And each time they get one wrong,
we release a foul smelling vapor into their egg.
When they can't take any more,
that's when the game is over.
The fog.
But they have to say these exact words were never enough.
Alright I gotta say, please hear us Mr. Tom.
We beg and beg and beg.
Switch off that horrible fog and release us from this egg.
What do you reckon?
I think it's strong.
Would you be in it?
Yeah, I'd like to do a pilot
Well, I'm not sure if it's a chasing egg
or maybe the frog egg
I don't know, what do you think?
What? You actually want to call it?
Well, it was the frog originally
but nah, I think it might be the frog egg
but it would be better
The egg of fog?
Egg of fog, see that's good
I like that, all of that, that's alright.
You can have that, Tom.
Thank you very much for joining me on the dumb pod.
As always, Bob, Bob.
Bye.
Maybe we'll get you on again next time.
Maybe we'll see.
Thanks, Tom.
Bye.
See you.
Do you want to have a few questions for everyone?
The parsinipers. Is Bob willing to discuss the annuity of football?
No, right.
Sorry, James Christmas.
Big, big, big question.
Richard Wadsworth says quite simply, gravy on pancakes?
No, thank you.
I don't understand it.
It's like, you know I don't understand it.
It's like, you know, like, gravy on ice cream.
Well, surely a pancake is just basically a Yorkshire pudding
in a flat of foam.
It's the same ingredients.
I don't think I'd have to say why that wouldn't work.
That's the science, Andy.
But I'm being more emotive about it.
I associate pancakes with sweetness.
So, you know, the question was asking asking it not for me. Not fine for enough just in
sailing says will you call me a prick? I'll leave that here.
You're just in your prick.
Jack Picker in finally says when is the first collection of my green bin this year?
Second week in March. Jack there we, that's all the questions I think.
Didn't someone ask about me?
Toby Carvery, Codd Andy.
Why have I got to ask you that one?
I just wanted to show you, because look at that, I've just got my new one, January.
What?
You see that?
It's nice to see, isn't it?
Yeah, I won't even see what's on it, but it's...
David Clark said, Andy, can you confirm whether or not Bob
has still got his Toby Carvery Gold Card?
At the time, it seemed like the biggest revelation
of your life hearing about this,
but it's never been mentioned again.
Did it really piss him off that much?
And what the, I'm sure.
I'm sure Andy and what does it say on the front?
Oh my God.
It says, it says Bob's Carvery in the Toby Carvery font.
And it's a gold card. So that someone was asking Andy have you got it there?
Someone was asking the most with drunk in a session or something.
Was that one?
Yeah, that was from Tom.
He says what's the largest quantity of alcohol you've both consumed
and one sitting asking for my mum?
So I've definitely done a dozen. I mean lots of people, but I used to
do a dozen for birthdays, that's what made me mad, it's had to do. But I did do a weekend, a Friday
till Sunday evening, where I did 50. 50 pounds. I always thought that was pretty good. That's
incredible. We did, we went on a stagwick and the Womsterdam many years ago and we got to the
airport at 6 a.mam or 6.30am.
I think it was for an early flight
and they said that our flight had been rescheduled
till the afternoon and they'd sent us a fax.
Fucking fax, who reads fax, nobody.
So we were stuck in the airport early afternoon,
your castle airport, but the bar opened at 7am.
So we cracked on from 7am in the pub in the airport and we were
still going at about 3 a.m. in Amsterdam the following morning so that was like 20 hours.
You're right, New Jersey. I haven't got a club, I'd probably say 20 pints.
20, it's no 50, is it? Well you're talking about an entire weekend though aren't you?
I'm talking about in one session. Yeah, true. Was yours without sleep?
Was it?
No.
Oh, I had a kebab the other day, and I'm not a kebab
I reckon for about five years.
Oh, I have one now and again.
It was just delicious.
Yeah.
But, man, it was gorgeous.
But, too, it caused me a lot of grief for a week afterwards.
I mean, body lures to fats anymore, you know.
Your body regented it.
But just to remind it to people how delicious they are.
Oh yeah, a sorbica, babs are fine thing.
Tink-tank, bab.
Yeah.
Me and Jim always used to get him
spread him out on our beds in our tell rooms.
Ooh, all right, and that's about it from this one.
Or I couldn't have just another quick visit to Mark,
say all the matches going.
Well, I'm not sure, we'll see if anything's up
and we'll go over there now.
Firing myself torn, we're trying to fucking out
for a full rewire, just moving household together.
Can't be bothered with all the mess and disruption of a Raywire.
They've been to someone else to deal with.
Oh, the ball's gone out there near the halfway line, throwing.
There we are. I wish you'd do more throwings.
Anywhere. Yeah, no, thank you for that. It sounds a good decent match.
And thank you for listening. That kind of thing, Andy. Thank you, pastipers. Thank you. Goodbye.
Thank you.