Athletico Mince - Boiled Parsnips 28: Great Big Super Onions

Episode Date: March 8, 2023

A country song, some nonsense pottery, a call to the showbiz centre, Lawro commentates, and Mr Sting visits the Beardsleys. (Rec: 31/5/22) Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. ... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 It's fall and you can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a maple tree on Uber Eats, but maple syrup and maple lattes? Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost, almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region.
Starting point is 00:00:14 See you after details. Hello and welcome along to another episode of Athletico Past Steps! Please, let's all take a moment to think about the current situation. Please, let's all take a moment to think about the current situation. Thank you. Imagine yourself as the newest member of a bell-ringing group at your local church, showing the ropes by the group leader, and you find yourself mesmerised by the sound of the bells as you hold. Pull and release those lovely thick ropes. Then, a cock show but shambolic figure veys into view.
Starting point is 00:01:07 His cup hands containing some kind of thick dark green glue. He says, hey, rope some of this at the up farms and you won't get any chair for those ruffle ropes. I made a rope some stuff I found in an area and it's definitely not bitten show. It is of course the disgraced church walkin' and my podcast partner, Mr. Bob Bauterman. Oh Mr. Bellman, with your little greasy hands.
Starting point is 00:01:36 Oh Mr. Ding Dong, there's truly nowhere where you belong. And there is the song which signifies the commencement of a new episode. Hello Bob. Hi. How are you doing all right? I'm all right. Yeah. Yeah. So this t-shirt you've got on Andy. Yeah. It's a great big SUN LUN Sunderland Sunland. Cockahoe with the Maccom's provost into the English. Absolutely. Yep.
Starting point is 00:02:08 We're back in the championship where we belong. Did you design that t-shirt? Is it really? It's bad. No. It's a product of the local arts hub and community centre area, Poprex, in Sunland, which does a lot of good for the community and they have lots of events on and I try and help them out now and again I work on.
Starting point is 00:02:29 I mean, it looks really bad on you and because of your shape, you know, did you think you're helping the cause, putting that beautiful t-shirt on your display, on your Clarely from your assessment, nor. Heady is mistaken. How do you describe yourself, Andrew? I was just thinking, are you a graphic designer, an entrepreneur, a sports writer? A good question. Entrepreneursounds pretty good. I mean, at the scrub itself is a podcaster, but that sounds like something that a teenager would describe themselves as, doesn't it? Really, it's not, it's's not for a grown man to be
Starting point is 00:03:06 going around seeing about himself I don't know and you are a grown man you're a fully grown man and you're fully grown man yes sir and you have got a little I'm very much involved in the country in Western music scene at the moment I thought you were I suspect that as much. Yeah. What do you like about country and western? Do you like the shoes, the hats, the horses? Kaleboy, paraphernalia. I like the spurs on the back of the boots because you can spin them. I like that. I've got no idea what purpose they serve. I think sadly Andrew, I think you've chosen, I think they're a bit of a weapon, I think they're used to cut into the horses flesh.
Starting point is 00:03:48 Oh shit. Horse abuse tools. Oh well, maybe not like them so much. Maybe not the spurs. Maybe not the spurs. Oh, that's the lassoes then. I mean, I like any circular movement, you know like sling shots and the hammer and the Olympics, the
Starting point is 00:04:05 Lassou, the motion of the washing machine, they're always fascinating, the male strung just off the coast in Norway, that's like a world goal. I like them, then plastic tubes when you spin them really fast, they go, woo woo woo woo Of course you do Andrew, of course you do, Does that help with your fitting? Chief thrills. Yeah. So I've written a country in western song. It's about you and the espouse. So very much say what you think. I've been listening to some country fucking music trying hard to get my fucking mindless stressed. I've been fiddling with the dial on my fucking nion Trying to get the creases out on my fucking vest I've been wandering around the local shit farm
Starting point is 00:04:58 Thinking hard about cleaning up my fucking mind I've been tethering alcations to lampposts hoping to get my fucking shakras realigned. I'm not ha ha ha, I'm not bright as a spark, I'm anti-daw, oh son, I'm pissing on shadows, shadows, shadows, in the fucking dark. I've been sticking my fucking fingers in to duck shit. I've been throwing sticks and stones at my fucking cat. I keep hoping all day for a fucking miracle, like waking up and finding out my belly's flat cuz I'm not honky I'm not right as a spark I'm Andy Doreson I'm pissing on shadows shadows shadows in the fucking dark what you're echin hey that's not bad I like that's not bad do you want to say the course with me Andy? Yeah
Starting point is 00:06:10 God then Honky I'm not bright as a spark. I'm Andy do Sun I'm pissing on shadows Shadow, shadow, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, peace and all, shadow, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and all, peace and and when you go to the complaints department because one of your fish fingers was a, he's got a show set of his comedy style instant show with you. Here we go. Energy bills. Energy bills are through the roof. Maybe there wouldn't be if the roof was properly insulated. Well, it's only a nice one. Yeah. Have you seen the monkey pox? The monkey pox is going around. I caught it. I would completely ape. Yeah, drop that one, leave my think.
Starting point is 00:07:40 Have you seen the queen? It's 70 years on the throne for the queen. She get less than that for murder. Yeah, I don't think that's working. When you said on the throne, then I thought you were heading for her that she's been on the shitter for 70 years. Shitter gag? No. Maybe. Maybe you could think around that though, Liam, see if there's an embedded joke. Yeah, thanks Bob. So when can the ladies and gentlemen next see you live Liam? Open mic night. You're doing open mic again. Open mic night and be bathed. If you want that as a name today, do you want to be called Open mic?
Starting point is 00:08:24 Open mic, you that all you got? That's all I've got, or you can be on the other side. No, just be on the other side. Just go on the top of your head. You can be mid-j-shit if you want. Yeah, I'll be mid-j-shit. Oh, I don't need tongue. Mid-j-shit, alright.
Starting point is 00:08:38 As you got a title, I wouldn't mind being sir mid-j-shit or... Well, mid-j-shit. Oh, of course it is isn't it? Mejshet, cram files and they, there's a new episode. Yes please. Cram files out. Errrm, here it comes. Crim files, or I ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo for its lively pubs, high-end restaurants, artisan shopping and its wide-cobbled high-street. Its Mayday Parade is renowned for its chula-pearling and traditional Ladikake competition.
Starting point is 00:09:11 On several occasions, it has been voted the best place to live in the north of England. That was until April 2022, when the reputation of the arm was to change forever. when the reputation of the arm was to change forever. Situated just off the high street is an old coaching lane with the workshop and sales room of Nonsense Potter Neil Hunt. That morning he was busy firing Nonsense miniature tulip broaches, tulip pendants and tulip motifs vases, tulip handle mugs for the upcoming tulip festival. Neil was on the phone to his clay supplier. The last batch of clay is tainted and won't fire properly. It crumbles and weeps. I might
Starting point is 00:09:59 as well be selling jabby fucking dodges. Listen, no no, you listen to me young man. If you hold yourself out as a supplier of clay, then you should be able to supply clay. If you can't supply clay, then close your fucking business and move to Newfoundland, where you can sandpaper shit off the fucking fishing boats. That is near Canada, which is a good deal nearer than my fucking clay appears to be at the moment. Now get it sorted, or you will have Neil Hunt to deal with, and that could get messy. Goodbye! At that moment, the door to the sale grew opened, and in what the new cast of the United
Starting point is 00:10:37 Manager, Eddie Howe. Yes. How do you fucking do with support? And might I say, what a beautiful fucking pottery RV. It's absolutely hanging nailed on tremendous. Oh, cut the crap sunshine, what do you want? What is it you actually want? This is an actual workplace, not a talking shop
Starting point is 00:11:00 for lonely choir boys. So I'll ask you once again. What is it that you actually want? Oh my swear, I'll keep you in a fucking hat on. I'm asking a nice fucking gift for her and fucking dolls, for the two restaurants, you know. Have you got any money? Any actual cash or have you just got a few pennies from your piggy bank? Is there anyone funnier than me in this Godforsaken country than I haven't met them? How much do you want to spend?
Starting point is 00:11:30 How much do you actually want to spend? I don't know, I'm not worried about the price, I'm sure, just so long as it's special enough to keep me in favor with the infighting doors, you know. What about this intricate little brooch, depicting a yellow and red tulip and trying to rob the tiny rose branch? Rose vents, you're having a fight in love with you.
Starting point is 00:11:54 Looks more like a fight in twiglet and one that's had a good lick in it that the brass work is fracking a trotus like something a wonky child would do. There's only one child in here and that's you, my choir boyfriend. I suggest you take your little pink head out of here and go and spend your pocket money on some fucking bubble gum. Call me a child again, and I'll rip your fucking head off and kick it over to Sherwood Forest, which is fucking miles away. You're a fucking child and a child's body!
Starting point is 00:12:30 Eddie lunged forward as if to grab Neil Hunt. But Neil was too nimble for him and managed to run to an area of the workshop that was a different area to where he was previously standing. An area where he hung his nonsense tools for shaping his nonsense pottery. He started to throw them at Eddie but they just bounced off him like he was the owner operator or maybe Lisa. Lisa, you know, I was going to lease of a specialist force field. Actually, he probably hadn't leased it on reflection. And as that market is largely limited to military use, only possibility will maybe be infinitely rocket. Would be a fruity rocket plasks, but
Starting point is 00:13:23 fucking out to get all of these days. So I'm guessing it was an outright purchase. Eddie walks straight toward him, ignoring the impact of the nonsense tools and grabbed him around the throats. Nobody calls me a child twice you little shit potter. How about I destroy every fucking toilet pot in here and use the fact that it bits the line the new cart pond and put it in in me fucking garden. Get off me, get off me! Do you not realise who and what you are dealing with here? No, pray, do you fact you tell me you are aable fat in milk? I'll have you know, the PE teacher, my nephew's school, has an archery set that he is
Starting point is 00:14:11 said I can borrow any time I want. Well, if I'm following him up, then you can't get you, because I've got you wet-tucked like a mouse here, fat in vise. Now, apologise, and maybe we can proceed with a two-lips section. I'm still well fucking up for that. Alright alright, why is it always little old me? I help paint the church mini bus and I've never urinated in the outdoors. Listen, I'm sorry you are a great big fully grown man is that what you want? Yeah that's fucking super. Now I'm for the large two lit bars with the cricket balls on the
Starting point is 00:14:54 fuckin side. And there's 2,000 pounds. I'll fucking take it the wife loves cricket. That's what an excellent choice sir. Oh as well and well, my wish you all the fucking best and good luck with your future endeavors. As any left the shop a broad smile appeared across Neil's face. That vase is a piece of shit. It's made from the faulty clay and won't last more than 24 hours, but best of all, those are not cricket balls, but miniature e-dank cheeses. His wife is in for a gut-wrenching shock, I'm Neil Hunt and I'm loving my life.
Starting point is 00:15:41 So, shenanigans in Yarmandee. Very good. I was good to hear from Eddie Howe. We've got some more commentary from Mark Lawrence and he's been doing the Champions League final at the weekend. All right. For the Paraguayan National TV Network. So I've got some little snippets of that if you want to hear one of them. Probably lovely, that would be lovely. We've got... Longbow forward there from the right back. A bit too much pace on it.
Starting point is 00:16:22 Going out of play. a bit too much pace on it going out of play. You know I wonder why I bother recycling when I see some of the pollution that these Chinese factories have got coming out of their chimneys. I suppose you got to do a bit there, haven't you? There's a misplaced pass there, it's gone out for a throw-in. Little bit there, maybe he's got back of that bit later on. No, am I ever going to get another throw-in, Andy? You just had a throw-in? I know, but I was like three throw-ins on the truck. Three? Well, I don't know. We'll see.
Starting point is 00:17:01 Hey, Andy, have you got any ASMR? I haven't got any personally. I do have some sizzling fat noises that you can deploy if you've got one if you're on. Yeah I'll do so, I'm going to have to help the listeners get off the sleep. That's good. Alright, here we go. kite handles with beads. Soup on a hairbrush melted horse. Found hankies. Slow roast German music Indian feeling paper paper paper paper great big
Starting point is 00:17:56 super onion right night everyone there There you go. I just need to write down. I just need to write down great big super onions as the title of this episode. You mentioned infinitely rock of plastics there earlier. I've had a bit of contact with them because I'll he, I rang up the showbiz center with a deer. Yeah. Because I'm trying to, I'm trying to join. As you know, I'm trying to become a member. Yeah, good look there. And I've been doing a bit of acting recently in a film, which I'm not allowed to talk about too much, but that'll be coming out soon. So I feel as though I'm now
Starting point is 00:18:43 worthy of the showbiz center. So I feel as though I'm now worthy. Of the Shorbus centre, sorry I rang up and I got Herman from Infinity Rocker Plastic to record the call. He's very sharp. He's new there, very sharp. He's done that so I'll play the tip of the phone call. Hello. I lost it. It's at the Shorbus centre. Yeah, he's speaking in the Milky Jackson. Mae'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r ysgwb i'r y and I do podcasts with this one of your club members. Oh, who's that then? Bob Mortimer. No, there's no one called Bob Mortimer works here.
Starting point is 00:19:31 No, he doesn't work there, he's a member, he's in shoppers. Oh, right, right now. Bob Mortimer. Oh, I say they want to mess me up as a fish. Yeah, yeah, that'll be him, yeah, yeah. Can I get a membership then as an associate of his? Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae' mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae'r ffys. Mae' Mae'r gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n siapod? Ben'n siapod? Yna, am yma'r bydd cymdiad. Yna. A'r ysgwais, yna'n siapod? Yna'n siapod? A'r ysgwais, yna'n siapod?
Starting point is 00:20:30 A'r ysgwais, yna'n siapod? A'r ysgwais, yna'n siapod? A'r ysgwais? A'r ysgwais? A'r ysgwais? A'r ysgwais? A'r ysgwais? A'r ysgwais? A'r ysgwais? A'r ddod yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn y and he says, no, that's a dog. I says, is it your shape dog? What would you be in a shepherd?
Starting point is 00:21:05 And he says, no, it's a pug. And he said, he hasn't got a shape dog. I says, you know, I wonder you haven't to do the big coin game because you're not more Joseph being a proper shepherd. And he just kept saying, he wasn't a proper shepherd. And I says, annoying night, that's what I'm seeing. And I just got a walk away and then didn't go and collect
Starting point is 00:21:21 them, at least for five minutes while I calmed down. Right, right, well, you're not going to collect them, it's for five minutes while I calm down. Right, right, well you'll not have that problem with me because I'll not bring me Dr. London. Alright, right, good. Well, look, if you don't get Bob Mott or more to propose you membership, we'll say if I don't get you in, you'll have to send 179.99 for the show, be sent to uniform, no, you can't get in without the uniform. What's the uniform?
Starting point is 00:21:45 Yes, the heavy blow jogging pants and a bleach denim jacket with sheep skin color right and right I'm waiting to see if it's for that then but I'll send that over as soon as I've got it. Look I have to go out because that sheep dog's got out with the bag and it's eating faggings off the floor. Eh, try me it. Eh, right, bye. And that's when the call ended. Yeah, I don't fancy your chances, Andy, because, eh, eh, why'd you want to go there so much? Well, it's the police to be in there.
Starting point is 00:22:16 It's where all the celebrities hang out on that, and I think, you know, being a podcaster in an actor now, that it's where I belong. Yeah, Sharon Phillips, you know, the weather, weather lady. She was in the over there. I bet, yeah. People like film, but you still describe yourself as an actor now. I can't do. Actor. A lot of people are like, oh, I'm not.
Starting point is 00:22:30 I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.
Starting point is 00:22:38 I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I look it. I'm not gonna give you a film, but you still describe yourself. So he described yourself as an actor now I'll do actor
Starting point is 00:22:49 podcast Entrepreneur bloody old jobless. You're killing it aren't you man? Oh, man. Yeah It's as we're on with the infinity. I got a little snippet through from them and the tiny little bit of an Interview between Scott Scottie Parker and Neil Warnock, and it was never broadcast. You'll probably say why. Would you like to hear it's only short? Okay.
Starting point is 00:23:16 Starts off with Neil. So Scotty, are you going to try and make a rail impact on Premier League, you know, that on the Premier League next season? You know that, really go for it. Oh, I doubt it's very much for my darling. What's the point? Do I have a question that? I've been serious, I mean, that's whole point is to have a go, isn't it really? No, it's a bit of money and less hassle, just coming straight back down again.
Starting point is 00:23:44 But you know, it's ruining championship. You know, coming straight back down again. But you know it's ruining championship, you know these clubs coming down with sack full of money, you know it's ruining it isn't it really? I like, give a fuck. Yeah, Scotty, your trousers always seem to be a bit tight Scotty. Do they not give you a cold ass on touch line? I ain't having a cold ass me like really. My marks is just made of wood, it's not temporary sensitive, I could literally paint much like I was under a darling.
Starting point is 00:24:14 You got quite a small haircut, haven't you Scotty? You find that works for you really? Big hair, small hair, I don't give a fuck darling, as long as my ass is sealed and vanished, I'm good to go. You don't, you don't seem, you know, not really, really, you don't seem to bother with having a personality Scotty and for me that was what it were all about, really, you know, I've no interest in football. I had a personality once, I didn't like it darling. Really? Really?
Starting point is 00:24:46 Really? Really darling? So that's a stupid or something, I'd go? Yeah, it's something you've got to give these things a go. Sublime, haven't you? Just see what happens. Tempt to throw for the star prize now, Bob. 101 or more in six starts. Yes. I can't
Starting point is 00:25:09 where I got my arrows ready and the. Here we go. Throw your first star 8, another one. Trouble 11, 5, 250, 256. Again. Singlet, singlet 4. Trouble 12. Trouble 12 got a baneer. That's that's 100 one dark last last dark one gone Fucking outside the board you clown a Fuck me fresh you got me god Only those at the board Oh my god, I just, I just, I just, I got to show you what you could have won. It's the,
Starting point is 00:26:11 yeah, drivers carriage from 1994 into city 125. Oh, I would have loved that. That would have been all yours. Would have loved that, Andy. Sorry about that, but there you go. It just quickly go back over to Mark Lawson again. Let's just see what was happening in the Champions League final a good night with him. Set the back sims have gone down with it. Carf injury, I think it is there.
Starting point is 00:26:42 Shane is coming on. You know, I'm thinking maybe I don't need to stain the deck in this year. See what happens if you don't weather proof it. You just assume you've got to do it every year but you know maybe not. He's back on his feet again now and the opposition has put it out for a throw. Another throw? Wish you'd give me a win. So what you want or what you don't want, I can't tell? What I want is it's another throw in. It's another throw in there.
Starting point is 00:27:17 No. Another throw in. Now I'll do your own. I will not do it, we're fucking on. Peter Beads,, God bless him. He's given me one of his vlogs, MPs, some things or whatever. It's a nice one.
Starting point is 00:27:34 I'll read it out for you. For Peter. Alright, Bob. I'll just say in a back kitchen cleaning up a pan that has got a lot of burnt scramble egg on it, you know, a pretty big job on a account of it being a 12 egg scramble egg, it's cooking up in the wife, you know. I've got quite a few different scrub scrub tools to take the job on. I've got one of those flat circles of lopie lopie lopie cut away, you know, they're yet to scratch scratch scratch scratch. I've got one of these brushes like a big toes brush, you know, there are quite long bristles on it, but to be honest it's well out of its depth with this push, you know, there are quite long bristles on it but to be honest it's
Starting point is 00:28:25 well out of its depth with this job, you know, it's only very suitable for light not really. My favourite was me, like yellow square sponge with a layer of rough green material on one side of it, you know, I like it because it's, youwch, a'r ymdwch, a'r ymdwch, a'r ymdwch, a'r ymdwch, a'r ymdwch, a'r ymdwch, a'r ymdwch, a'r ymdwch, a'r ymdwch, a'r ymdwch, a'r ymdwch, a'r ymdwch, a'r ymdwch, a'r ymdwch, a'r ymdwch, a'r ymdwch, a'r ymdwch, a'r ymdwch, a'r ymdwch, a'r ymdwch, a'r ymdwch, a'r ymdwch, a'r ymdwch, a'r ymdwch, a'ithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r Gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r If you don't mind. Yes, you're the cost of, and Mary Asco is coming round. No, you may not, but I'll tell you anywhere. It's Mr. Sting.
Starting point is 00:29:53 Right from the massive house. The very fucking same. Well, I think I'm going to enjoy, you know, I mean, you're enjoying me, really. You're being your don't know him, but he has got a right shine on for me. I met him working with me shift for Johnny H.T. And I stupidly left me knee-breaths behind his band, and he is kindly offered to retaliate to me, which is more than you would ever do for me, you lazy, fucking guy. Just about then there was just about then there was a sound of a like sound like a jet airplane you know pulling up outside the house and then it's not on the door.
Starting point is 00:30:39 And so that and then makes yourself fucking scarce and don't stare at him with your fucking pancake face. I don't want him tearing, queasy on me. I ought in the dark and now he was wearing what he looked at me like a fogman silk, but it probably wasn't a fogman silk. Get out of my way. I am mistasting from the massive house
Starting point is 00:31:02 with a massive drive and a massive torrents and I have arrived in the world's only I'm just tasting from the massive house with the massive drive and the massive torrents and I have arrived in the world's only jet-powered supercar with its massive fog lamp and biomephonic ejector seat. So I just go to the front room and I like offered about in the doorway so I could get a nose that you know why you going on in that. Hello Carol Beasy, who was that awful man that answered the door? He had the whiff of a parent about him. Oh that's just one of my stuff.
Starting point is 00:31:36 He's from that place you know, who said people what can't get work. I'm just trying to help him out. Have a seat Mr. Sting. On the age he chair, on the, on maybe on the sofa, forgun next to me. This place is tiny. She said, you're, are you being held here against your will? We could escape in my soupa car and be in Bordeaux, France,
Starting point is 00:32:01 within 18 minutes. You know, no, this is just my servant's quarters. I was doing my morning inspection. You have to keep your eye on them. They can be very fuch and chaotic. I agree. Oh, that television, there is our television, our big phone. It's tiny, I could not watch that.
Starting point is 00:32:23 My main TV is 34x20ft and is made from silver. Mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n gwybod, mae'n hand of you. You know it stinks on me hovering by the dark. Your body fits me some bali water, two jambidogges and a probiotic thinking drink and get here coach you look like a bloke of the lego. That's not very nice a bit rude if you don't mind me saying. Yes I have very much to mind. My word I can see why no one wants to employ you. You remind Mae'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n mynd i'n my campaign but he is on thin ice. Right, you are very, very, very lucky as I have written a song about today's mission and I shall sing it for you now. As a gift, it surpasses even large diamonds and even space car fuel. So listen, oh, Mr. Sting, oh Mr. Sting, he drives the super car, oh Mr. Sting, or Mr Sting, he drives a super car. Or Mr Sting, yes Mr Sting, it's powered by Carvea.
Starting point is 00:33:50 He drove it into the maiden to return her precious sling. The maiden's knees are trembled at the sight of Mr Sting. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, that is what in a school year sounds like one of my rough, rough, rough, spongy, scrapping on the turtles back. Oh, there you go, Christmas, my beautiful, massive song, you dozy, bedfairst farmer. Alright, that's enough. Don't you fucking dare talk to my husband like that, you punter, fucking striker piss. Husband, he's fogging insects! Right, get out, go on, fuck off!
Starting point is 00:34:29 Before I take that loot, put it in your skinny vogen chest and shit on the strings. With pleasure, this place is a dumb and I will probably get the muffy pox just from looking at you. Good fag! Uh, thanks for sticking up for me, love. Come sit down here on the sofa, Peter. I'm in trouble, love. No, you're a good lad, Peter.
Starting point is 00:34:58 Alright, thanks, love. But tell me, what is that fucking awful stunt schoolman from the kitchen? Oh, it's me scumless. And yeah, so, A.I.A.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S. and tell you a couple of jokes from my old jokes books or I know you like them Bob. What's his Batman set Robin before they got in the car? Robin would you get in the car please? Broke in a tractor, drove past me shouting, the end of the world is now. I think it must have been Farmer Geiden. Mae'n gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweith and north of Guy. I'll tell you Bob anyway. One piece of the busy, and he won, he won, he beat the busy,
Starting point is 00:36:11 he bought. So there's Pete. Sting was, um, Sting better watch himself taking on Carol Beasy. I'll tell you that much. Yeah, yeah, it's much. Sting Pete is very good at shares so many aspects of his life with us, I think. It's very, very open. He's very Yeah, yeah, it's much. Stump it is very good to share so many aspects of his life with us, I think it's very, very open. He's very open, yeah. Quickly go back over to
Starting point is 00:36:29 Lawrenceson, a bit more Champions League commentary from him. Throw in halfway line. line. Barbara says we should get a tart ice. I've put my foot down though. Those things live for 100 years. She must be mad. That's where throw in just on the edge of the penalty area there. Another throw in. Oh you've got it in the end. I only got one. Is that our lot then Andy? I reckon that's the most. For a must. Oh quickly one thing I met ask you before you before we go. Do you reckon Shaka Khan still fails for you? I don't know Andy. I mean it was 1984 and the song wasn't even written by her. It was written by Prince or Tadal.
Starting point is 00:37:26 I don't care. If she ever truly felt the sentiment behind the song. I mean, Chuck Akarn's version of the song's written in the KUJ Sharp Major with a tempo of 125 beats per minute. Oh, I'm in time, dude. And a vocal spine from D sharp to A sharp in the song. I don't know if that gives you any kind of clue, but that she still feels like a lot of trash.
Starting point is 00:37:42 I'd say, if I say yes, we'll let's stop it. It'll stop for now. Thank God for that. Thank you, past nippers, for your attention. Thank you very much, past nippers. See you next time. Goodbye. Bye. Thank you.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.