Athletico Mince - Boiled Parsnips 43: Bone On Bone

Episode Date: December 27, 2024

A safety rap battle, Lawro commentates, Martin visits Neil, Harry’s England gang, and a Slaughters trip.(Released via Club Parsnips in June 2024) Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Music Alright Andy how you doing? Um, I'm alright yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you? How are you? No, no, no, no, no, I'm fine, I mean'm just loving the football and that that two day break yesterday was nearly killed me. But, um, no slogan on your T-shirt and these that, um, if someone died or something, it's deliberate. I just didn't want to provoke you. Usually whatever I've got on me. T-shirt leads to a minor outburst. I like, I like to see you.

I just thought I'll go neutral today. Looks quite a cheap t-shirt a very thin little neck collar on it there. It's from Morrisons it's from their delightfully named nutmeg range of clothing. I don't know who came up with that but I think it's the highest quality supermarket t-shirt out there. Alright well fair enough but it's a very feminine collar. Now listen up just I are parsnippers and just to mention that Mickey Dixon has been in touch and he's got a mate from Sunderland who has kind of has the opposite views to him I think with safety yeah so yeah I got the memo through he's called Chris Tibbs Chris Tibbs well and he's done a sort of like

rap battle you know I think that's I think it's only fair that we play you know I mean Mickey's very upset because none of the political parties are put in safety at the top of their priorities you know he says um just asking for trouble but anyway we'll play it um see how it goes andy okay i should warn you a couple of mickey sections are a little bit long so don't worry they do end what a surprise all right lads Mickey Dixon here safety first you joking aren't you look at that Joel Frank Cowden over there using an electric trimmer to prune his edge no safety glasses no steel cap boots and he's got a fag in his mouth like he's down the book he's having a fart behind the gerbun machine if the wind gets up and blows tabash in his eyes then that blare could slice straight through his eyeballs you know they're

unprotected he'll end up on the deck screaming for help but I can't do out like you know me L1 and L2 vertebrae more or less fused it's literally bone on bone and I can't phone for help because their wife's locked me phone to stop me playing dragons and doughnuts you know on the Apple game shop yeah fuck oh you Frank I can't watch this Frank Frank get some safety goggles on you slack bastard fuck off Mickey mind your own business well you won't be saying that if your eyes get mashed the fuck up yeah well at least I won't have to see you poke and your nose around the fucking estate ah

fuck you Frank no fuck you Frank no fuck you Mickey hey how's your back doing right born-on-born Frank a fucking nightmare. Have you tried pilates? Janet Peacock runs a class every morning in the conservatory. Nah the wife would hot sugar me face if I hung around in the Peacock's conservatory. Reckon she reckons the finials on the roof are a fucking eyesore. Stop the oh mate. What shape you making that hedge Frank? like a big ass so you can stare through the hole in the middle when you're nosing around

good one Frank Chris Tibbs here from Sunland but I get up to Peter Lee a couple of times a week go on the bus safety first aye fucking wrecking there's Mike the shit over there don't know what his real name is he doesn't know what his real name is just what he calls him Mike the shit

sat there on his doorstep he's out on day release at the minute been doing 8 months for rubbing knickers off washing lines he's got his alicization where I'm chewing on a load of batteries that he's given re-chargeable so it'll probably be alright who knows go for it son that's what I say safety first, safety never, the adult orphan over there young Mark I think he's called aimless lad in every respect of life he's gonna sell a crossbow from cash converters and he's firing an arrow straight up in the air and then he's looking down playing chicken when it comes down reckless as fuck lovely character building the thing is that's gotta be

better than not doing it safety last mark look there goes Ron Chin walking along like he's just shit a miniature drone out probably on the way the chemist pick up his tramadol and some oxy for his wife like. Alright Ron, how's your lip getting on? It's fucking awful Mickey, it's bone on bone. It's like someone scraped him up the joint with a rasp or one of them fancy parmesan graters you know like Janet Peacock uses ah tell us about it do you mind now am I asking Ron why don't you use a walking stick or one of them walkers that you grab with your hands you know if you go

down I can't help I'm born I'm born myself where you off to anyway I'm going to Pilates at the Peacocks Conservatory, meant to be good for your core strength and general movement. You cap-toe Pilates run with your back, you're just gonna look at Janet Peacocks ass aren't ya? What do you think of the finials on the conservatory roof? A bit fancy for my liking, the wife reckons they're're important barnstable on the view from our lounge like that you made barnacle you would have to ask her are you wearing any sunscreen ron reckons it's gonna be a hot day today you don't want your skin burning turning into scratchings why don't you mind your own fucking business mic? Because if I don't keep an eye on things then nobody will and we'll have another circle

of medical shite on our hands. A&E is at breaking point and it's mainly skin shit and bone on bones. Think safety run before you're funny about like Nick Norles on a money pit project. I will do. Good lad Ron. Safety first. money pit project I will do good ladron safety first fucking aye, I've got to go for that bus to Peterlino got some people up there like the Tartarow come back in a couple hours anyway there's young Harry over there in the back lane behind his behind his chicken shop says there's a rumor

going around he's bringing back the cowboy supper soon but but with a twist anywhere he's got a pile of chickens there in a shopping trolley and he's blasting them with a welding torch fucking nice one mate could be the future of barbecuing can well see that catching on not wearing a visor obviously cause like me He's firmly anti-eu Safety last ah There's me nephew Darren on his way back from the illegal cash-and-carry Looks like he's landed himself another concivator hand sanitizer. That's well pasted sell by a hand sanitizer that's well past it's sell by. fucking fair play at home that's what i say. hey darren

darren don't drink it all at once lad. i thought you fucking willed over here. hey don't try this at home. don't do. fuck the mark yeah. safety last. all right janet all right janet pretty good. i was thinking of coming to your Pilates class like, you got room for a chubby lad. Not now Mickey, I'm on my way to the planning committee. Oh yeah, got a new project on the go. Yeah, I'm building a two story extension on the back, with an exterior climbing wall. Oh shit Janet, have you thought about the safety aspects of that

oh shut up Mickey you fucking snowflake and that my friends is what we're all up against safety first there we go oh there you go well it wasn't feel like a battle it was a bit meandering gentle gentle it was, it was very confrontational, but the difference of opinions and styles and outlooks... Yeah, I thought it was good. It went on very, very long. No bad thing. Well, sorry, Pellisippers, but we're just having a bash, you know what I mean. Well, have you been watching the World Cup of darts when the football hasn't been on I haven't Andy No, I did a bit of more this there was it last week, but

No, it's lots of fun lots, especially in the early stages when you've got Nations taking part that you don't normally see their players some superb hairstyles right and Faces head shapes all kinds going on. Well, that's what the darts is about really isn't it exactly what we want who's is it is it finished is it completed no it finishes on sunday oh what's it saturday morning so there's another another couple of days it could be better than england versus uh slovakia i think it is slovakia oh actually that makes us think of Mark Lawrenceon, who has been doing some commentary for the Ecuadorian third channel on telly. Got some, well not footage, but an mp3 sent over via back channels.

Ah, the old back channels. Yeah, I doubt the ambassador might have been involved, not sure. But gonna have a little listen to that see how he's been you know watching the England game this is versus Slovenia from the other day Phil Foden there passes it backwards to Joe Bellingham. Bellingham has fumbled in a little bit, has gone out for throwing. Throwing to Slovenia immediately intercepted by Declan Rice who gives it to Bellingham. Bellingham short pass. Intercepted again by Slovenia lad. Speaking of Dudes I once found myself standing next to Jude Law at a garden party a few years ago. Jude was wearing quite a frilly white shirt almost looked like a blouse.

I leaned into him and I said reminds me of that old Aerosmith song, Jude looks like a lady. He just looked straight past me throw in there we go little bit of Mark Lawrence in there. Oh what a throw in. Topics of interest Andy just for you that you know I don't know whether you want to talk about this last time you smashed a window do you still climb up anything what is your go-to venue in the town if you need a piss your desert island tin food and I'd like you to tell me I've never been in a Wetherspoons I'd like you to discuss what the attraction is yeah but anyways up you might want to mull on them. I was listening to that show on the radio again, you know,

where Martin from Homes Under the Hammers has a look around celebrity houses. It was quite a good one with the celebrity nonsense pot and Neil Hunt went to his house so I recorded it. Let's have a little listen mm-hmm can we have the introduction music by what is it yeah forget all these fucking things you join me outside the front door of a small terraced property with a big no thanks sign on the front door. That's a bit unusual isn't it? But do you know what? I like it.

Let's see if everyone is at home. Knock knock knock. Hello, what do you want you buffoon? Well that's a bit abrupt. A bit unusual as a greeting but I like it. It's me Martin from Homes Under Hammers. Can you not read the sign? It says no thank you. Can you let me in Mr. Hunt? Why would I want to do that? Well we agreed for the meeting you, over the phone.

I'm being paid for this. What you call laughable meeting? Yes, of course, he will see. How much? It's five hundred quid, I believe. Come in, I'm eating a tin of sild, so don't expect much insight from me. Sild? That's an unusual name for a fish isn't it?

unusual but I do like it. now I can instantly see that the stairs opposite the front entrance lead up to the first floor. Was that your idea Neil? they were like that when I moved in. I mean how else are you supposed to get upstairs? well I don't know you could put springs in your shoes or use a volatile space gas in a canister that propels you upwards when you trigger the gas. That's just a couple of ideas that instantly come to mind. Or I could just use the stairs like the builder intended. What is it that you want? What do you actually want from me for my 500 quid? Just to look around your home and for you to answer a couple of questions about your house Well, this is the hall that's the lounge the kitchens in the back upstairs is none of your business

So let's have the questions and be done with it You smell of turnips and some sort of resin by the way. And you look like you've been sleeping in a ditch. What's the story here? Look, I asked the question Jeff, you don't mind. So tell me Neil, I spy with my little eye a vase with the image of a space octopus on it. The octopus would appear to be brandishing, yes that is a word, you heard it here first folks, some sort of lance or magical spear, what's all that about? As if it wasn't about anything

in the first place. It's a piece that Ed Sheeran commissioned off me, fuck knows what he was thinking, I haven't heard from him since I sent him a photo of it. Do you know him? Could you tell him to get in touch? He owes me £8,000. Do I know him? I've never even heard of him and I live in London. Could you stop eating the sild whilst we're talking? Not only is it unusual, well it's affecting the sound quality. Can you do that for me Neil? Now I told you I was eating silt and you choose to commence the meeting. So live with it. Sorry if itches if it itches your soft London arse. Don't talk to me like I'm a bit of duck shit on your shoe.

Oh what? What will you do Mr London Borough of soft shite? Oh do me a favour you little potter. Finish your silt and go fuck yourself with a fish slice. Oh yes and where did you get your hair style from? The fucking museum of freshly grated shit? No I got the idea from what I found down your wife's knickers. Oh at least I've got a wife. All you have is a teddy bear that stinks of shit. No wonder Ed didn't pick up the bars it looks as if it was

made by a child that shit it's pants at least I've met Ed Sheeran I bet you've never even met your mum and dad right that's it I'm leaving not before I get my 500 quid yeah yeah have it go on have it and goodbye Martin walked out of the door you could hear and he was just about you could just about hear Neil in the background saying that was an easy rinse of the London bollock I'm Neil Hunt not since Potter and I'm a fucking nightmare so that was it was a good episode you know and strong one. Sometimes it was hard to work out who was who.

Yes I could imagine. But nevertheless, good sentiment. Shall we have some questions from the parsnippers that have come in? Oh aye, I'm happy to do that Andy. This is the main one I think. Bunty Hovis says bread bins, we need them? Question mark. Do we need bread bins? Do you have a bread bin?

Do you know what I don't Andy but... Do you have bread? I do like bread, I like it sliced and white but... I do remember I used to have a bread bin. I've got a feeling it's something to do with keeping the moisture level are steady around the bread and also in the old days and you keep mice away from your bread. People used to keep stolen goods in them as well I seem to remember. Yeah I mean you used to buy a loaf a loaf of bread without any packaging didn't you from off of the baker

yeah so you'd need something to put it in you need a bread bin I'd just put a bucket over mine rightio and that that acts as a bread bin yeah yeah um I mean you know the London breads that don't come in the plastic the wanky bread yeah they might yeah they might um benefit from a bread bin I don't know maybe maybe in London there's a healthy bread bin market, I don't know. We've got a new Marks and Spencer's that opened up here and they sell pretzels loose. And they've just got them hanging on a nail on the edge of some kind of wooden contraption. I'm not keen. Well, you're not keen on the presentation, but you'd like to grab at one of the pretzels? Well it doesn't feel healthy. There should be some kind of sneeze protection.

Ah, I getcha. On the pretzels. I getcha. Just if you're listening, Marks and Spencers, just something to think about. Little fussy man, oh he should have a sneeze guard. You're going to help us. Safety first. you're gonna help us the um Tony Boydell says what monopoly street can get in a fucking bin and what would you replace it with well I'm not very keen on the

Greens I think they're quite a risky purchase. Right. Quite an outlier there and I don't know if you're aware of this. Dale Winton, he once said, whoever owners the orange and purple will be unsurpable. And he always used to say that and I think he's right. Orange and purple for me. Yeah, I don't know. I haven't played for quite a while but Mayfair always seem to be a little bit too extravagant and elaborate. Yeah, later in the game it can be quite a menace though can't it? It could be a killer. It never sat right for me as a someone from Sunderland taking ownership of Mayfair. Felt wrong. What street in Sunderland would be, what's the name of the street in Sunderland that would be Mayfair?

That would probably be Fawcett Street where bins used to be. Fawcett Street. Here's a question that comes up now and again. Go on then. From Simon, Simon Two-Front. How much does Bob's annuity from the FA pay each year? Well, I'm always asked this, I don't want to give actual figures. It's about the same as a supply teacher or a senior district nurse. Right, per annual salary.

Yeah. And are you prepared at all to reveal any of the, you know, the reason why you get that annuity? I know it's because you've got a... No, Andy, you've got... The very reason I get the annuityities is because I don't tell people. Well you've given me a part of what it is. What is it again? To do with a penalty?

No I never said that. Don't you start trying to be like Poirot on me or who's the scruffy one in the raincoat? Isn't it a move in the penalty area that will guarantee a penalty? I don't know I've probably I've said too much when you've spiked me drink or something like that because I'm not willing to talk about it. Chelsea says if you're a petrol station and the only free pump is on the wrong side are you brave enough to use the extra long hose or waiting one till one becomes available on the correct

side? I'm always skeptical of the claim that the hose is long enough to reach around. Well this one gave me quite a punch in the stomach this one Andy. I had no idea that there was people driving around who didn't realize that even the standard hose can reach around. That's what I do I'll go out of me way to use the the long the long hose but when it is a standard hose but it does reach across to the other side of your car yeah it's weird the people don't isn't it's a bit sad that people don't know that they've been sat in like yeah yeah give it a go Chelsea it could serve your life oh is that Chelsea

football club? I don't know. Tim Holladay just says any chance of some time off it's been over four years Tim Holladay regularly asks us for time off. Yeah no thanks Tim. It's become annoying now so I'm not prepared to sanction any time off for Tim. Ask us again in five years I think that's fair enough. Slack Eric what qualities do you look for in a pen? Easy this Andy. Smoothness of nib and width of the shaft. A sharpie has no smoothness and a big has no width and that's why I always use the Uni-ball fine permanent marker. It sounds like an advert it's not that's my pen of choice. I've got to give

a big thanks to Infinity Rocket Plastics for hacking into the TVs in the bedrooms at the Golf Resort Hotel where the England team are staying. Moose, boss of Infinity told me that it was one of the most difficult hacks he'd ever done. Apparently they had to upload a widowows bridge into the hotel router and then divert the feed via a calamari loop so hey thanks moose for working that one out if there's one thing that Southgate is shit-hot on it's data security absolutely but moose has got through and that's a nice name for a hacking technique widows bridge don't you think so Andy I love it. So anyway I was watching a feed

from Ari Cain's room. Ari, Trent Alexander Armstrong and Anthony Gordon were in the room. Ari was on the speakerphone speaking to Jordan Anderson. The thing is Jordan the boss Gareth it's been very very stubborn and awkward and if we make suggestions he gets in a right fluffiery buffery Anthony Gordon pipes up Yeah Jordan I would like to add that he's been very un-flexible and bloody minded how mad's that? Trent Alexander Hanstham pipes up. Oi Jordan, it's Trent here. I'd like to add that he's been very rigid and stub- That's fucking Birmingham.

It happens. Oi Jordan, it's Trent here. I'd like to add that he's been very rigid and stubborn. Oh my Zark. Harry, already said stubborn. So that doesn't count. You need to withdraw that comment do I have to withdraw it Harry? yes you should young man repetition is the curse that can carry

itself over onto the pitch so yes withdraw it please okay Jordan I withdraw the sub and comments so what would you do Jordan in the circumstances? I need specifics like you know big plant that pot small plant pot hot water lukewarm you do realize my ankles are shrinking I haven't heard any prayers for me Oscar you look good in it, your nail, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, o there's a kebab shop in the village but Gareth won't let us have them, our mads there. Listen up Giordo, I asked at the kebab shop if they do chicken goujons and they said they don't do chicken goujons but they could do chicken goujons if we asked nice. So I told Gareth they do do chicken goujons and he said whether they do do chicken groushons or don't do chicken groushons if he catches us having chicken groushons you take the

tellies out of our rooms how much that? so what do you think Jordan like I say he's been very pigheaded and inflexible over this. I already said inflexible boss you should withdraw that. Fair enough, fair enough withdrawn. So what do you think Yarden? Well I reckon nothing same haven't yoga might help with the smears on the windowsore. Change if you can't whistle bendy buss use the kettle in your room keep it country style good luck and grow fast young sheep come death or darkness yeah thank you John it's a very good idea gang Trent you've got some brow-wurst in your case we could heat them in the kettle it's hardly a gooshe on though is it boss

bite down young man sometimes invention is the mother of success Gordon you keep a watch at the door Trent you love the brown spiced faith in the kettle and I'll tidy up my wardrobe for when garros does his sock and pants inspection so you see them put the sausages in the kettle and about five minutes later they're all sat on the bed eating the sausages Trent starts speaking I've never cooked in a kettle before I can't wait to tell Col Palmer about us don't you dare tell him about the kettle cook

it's a right bloody gossip he plopped that palmer and if it gets back to Gareth we'll have a fluff free to end all buffries and we'll have to read his book about good manners instead of watching New Zealand Border Patrol fuck that lot can I tell Jordan Pickford don't be daft don't be daft he's a fucking nightmare for barking out secrets when he has one of his turns. Let's just keep it to ourselves. They continue to nibble on the sausages. Trent speaks. Hey boss, why do you think we're playing some shit? It's mad, innit?

You know, because we've got Jude Bellingham. It should be easy with Jude Bellingham pulling the strings. Yeah, you'd think having Jude Bellingham would guarantee results. It's almost like Jude Bellingham isn't playing because if Jude Bellingham was playing then nobody could beat a team that includes Jude Bellingham. It's not as simple as that boys. One man do not make her for mountain but boss if we keep playing without jubilium then we're gonna go out to the competition how mads that given that we've got Kevin Trippier's haircut on the pitch and Cole Palmer's high socks look but think about it the sooner we're out the sooner we get home and have some goujons in front of the telly so if you ask me it doesn't really matter. I agree boss it doesn't really matter. It doesn't matter. Yeah it's hard to see how it

matters isn't it lad? At that moment the door opens and Gareth Southgate comes in. Hi Harry, time for your pant and sock drawer inspection. Hold on, what's that you're eating? That's not the fucking chicken gosian boss! Yes I can see that Anthony. It's perfectly apparent that it's a variety of processed German sausage which I have warned you not to partake in. I'm afraid that means no TV for any of you Oh fucking hell boss that's just cruel it's back to back border force tonight No no come on Trent we understand boss and we apologize for our naughtiness and

impropriety not to mention and our monkey business and shenanigans I like your attitude Harry. Were you playing in the last March Harry? I can't remember. Me neither boss. Are you gonna play two bellygum smarta boss? You know so that we win. That's a very good idea Trent. I'll have a think about doing that. I can't see us losing with him on the pitch. very good thinking you can watch two border forces and then it's bad ah thanks boss thanks boss thanks boss thanks boss I got bored of the feet and believes that you know was

interesting got the mind on the sausages a A nice insight. You're right, let's call it an insight. Guess what? What? You're gonna love this. I've got a new quiz for you, right? Is it Ship Farm? And it's... it's not. It's a brand new format. It's as if the cosmos has intervened because this new quiz is called Stars or Sausages. Oh, wow. You like the sound of that?

I do like the sound of the sausage side of things very sausage heavy episode i'm going to give you five names of things they are either stars that are in the constellation the night sky if you will right or they are the names of sausages and is it around the world and it's true is it andy they're all true okay you gotta tell me are these stars or are these sausages here we go here we go number one jelly tour jelly to star a sausage i think that could be a sausage and the alpump for sausage no googling you're not googling i ain't googling nothing all right gelato yes it's a czech sausage sausage Rastaban Rastaban Rastaban star star or sausage star yeah do you like your final answer he doesn't be far monster Rastaban is in the Draco constellation you isn't stars I knew it number three of five wattle sausage wattle sausage wattle star yeah you reckon star gonna

take your first down so I know no no because it's star didn't give you the chance to change your answer you're gonna see we're googling no yeah what is in the velar constellation in the sky number four praski star or sausage sausage Polish surely something like that. Oh, it is a Polish sausage. Oh, I didn't realize I was doing a quiz for the king of sausages. You didn't know I was. Yeah, sausage is my like last one.

Oh, here we go. I don't know why I'm don't know why I bother in Zampina star or sausage sausage I like stars or sausage on D can we have more that please no I'll be resting the phone so Andy I was up the alley Pally the other day, called into Infinity to get me your Air Gun's annual service, an MOT done. So afterwards I popped in to Slaughter's for a bite to eat. Nice. Adrian Lewis walked in about 10 minutes later,

sat in the booth behind mine. So just as the waiter came over, I switched the Ray Gun to its voice recorder mode Left it lying on the table. I've exported the recording into some kind of audio format. So why don't we have a listen? Starts with the waiter, I think Good afternoon, sir. I hope you are emotionally prepared for yet another ride through the highways and byways of our meaty Fokatorium. Oh that I am lad, that I very fokin' am. Fok you very much sir. Allow me to enrich your body and soul with tedious flesh paste considerations.

Oh yeah, fok yes yes yes, hit me right in in the f**king teeth with it you meaty luminary. For starters sir has a choice between 35 pan-ruined crab chins that have been arranged on the plate to spell out the word f**k and also a shrew that's been boiled in a travel lodge kettle. Oh, hold on that shrew that's been boiled in a travel lodge kettle. Oh, hold on, that shrew sounds chewy, is it chewy? Far too fucking chewy, sir. Oh, a chewy, chewy shrew? No, not for me. I'll go with the ruined chins. As you wish, sir. Moving on to the mains, may I present you with the notion of a baboon spleen that has been violently tickled by

rawn crabs until it is no more than a lump of mush. Oh yes, Wogies, keep going. My guts are some assaulting. Squealing even for the relief and satisfaction this will provide. Any alternatives? Oh well, there's a tract of flattened koala bear that will be served to you in ghost form. Ghost mate, do I look like some kind of vegan or fuck off? No you fuck off. I see, oh look, okay give me the baboon spleen but have it liquidized and sprayed directly into my fucking eyes. I'm in a rush today and I need to get a proper fart on. As you wish sir.

Oh hold on, what about pudding? We can offer you the house cheese pot sir. Okay, what kind of cheese? Liver cheese from a donkey. Whoops, maybe. Maybe. Oh, alternatively, sir could partake in a very, very rare delicacy. E.T.'s magic finger that's been sautéed in Ron's magic honey. Mmm, not sure about that honey. Sounds like another vegetable to me.

I can assure you, sir, that Ron's honey is 150% meat-paste. Oh, I tell you what, I'll have both. I'll lick the meat honey off the finger, then smear the liver cheese onto it. How fucking delightful, sir. Oh, and me St Bernard is tethered out in the car park. Can you ask Ron if he'll put down another ball of that power gravy that he's strained through his eusnickers? The big lad loved that last time we were in. Ron has already preempted your request sir. And sadly Andrew at that point the battery on my ray gun died having just had its freaking MOT. I was going to say take it back. No well I did

that's another story though got into a fight with Moose and he fights dirty I can tell you. Interesting cosmos activity there that there's food being prepared inside a hotel kettle again. Isn't that weird? For the second time in this episode. Weird. Before we go on I just must refer back just quickly to the topics of interest. Did anything grab your attention at all give us the first two again and I'll have a look at one of them do you still climb things last time you smashed a window I would like to know about weather spoons yeah I watch a lot of YouTube Andy and a lot of the people I watch are in Spain at the moment or they go around and

they they yearn for weather spoons or if they're at an airport in the sea or weather spoons They're in ecstasy and that what is it about whether it's weather spoons that makes I? Well, I tell you that I was in one recently in Sunland I don't go in them often but I was in one called the Cooper Rose, right and the fucking booze is extraordinarily cheap I'll say that for it. Is it simply that then or is it and they've got they have got a wide range of booze is lots to choose from I took a pint of shipyard last time I was in I like shipyard I it was it was affordable and I had a decent time but it's not that thing about the fellow with the big mad hair who wants the weather spoons

and these oh, yeah He's a little brexit thing, but meet me daughter's a student She she'll go on a weather spoons wherever there is one cuz like it's cheap That's the main draw for the weather spoons I mean we could do some more topics of interest in a standalone episode at some point I think cuz I've got a few for you as well. Okay. Okay, and we'll leave it there. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay Okay, we'll leave it there. Has it okay okay all right we'll leave it there has it been okay yeah thanks to sparseness sparseness us thank you everyone for listening very quickly I forgot to

mention do you think having 17 is still crushed by the wheels of industry I don't even know 83 go on carry on 1983 was it was 1983 and it's a long time to be crushed by the wheels of anything. Yeah. And own something as big as industry. Yeah. Well bet I'll get it. Any thoughts? Well if I was to say yes, does that stop it?

Mmm, maybe. See you Andy. Ta-da! Thank you.