Athletico Mince - Boiled Parsnips 5: Coat Bloke

Episode Date: December 2, 2020

A wav from Barry, Liam Gallagher visits Neil Hunt, Klopp raps again, Lawro's in the kitchen, and Ron Craggs is probed. (Rec: Nov 2019)Join Club Parsnips: https://www.patreon.com/athleticomince Become ...a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Good morning and welcome along to a new episode of Athletico Passnips with me, Andy Dawson. Dig if you will a picture, you're experiencing a day of serenity, an upscale spa thanks to a group on voucher that was gifted to you by a close friend. After enjoying a complimentary glass of cucumber juice, you settle down for an hour of tranquility inside a sensory deprivation tank. All is calm and the worries of your world have drifted away. Suddenly you hear footsteps, a lid of the tank is have drifted away. Suddenly you hear footsteps, a lid of the tank is yanked open.
Starting point is 00:00:47 Aging goblin figure smelling of a farm yard, leasards you, offering you a lump of melted toffee's from within his gnarled paw. You close your eyes tight, hoping this is a hallucination. No. He strips off to his wife's front
Starting point is 00:01:01 and climbs into the tank with you, cuddling you, and purring like a strange street cat. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my co-host Mr. Bob Waterman. Oh Mr. Martin, there's no one off the line. You're like a caveman, you belong in a caveman. Oh, Bobbie, Bobbie, you need to get a hobby. You've caused a national atrocity with your so-called comedy.
Starting point is 00:01:42 Welcome along to a theatrical party. Another party. There's a little song for you, Bob. Thank you very much, and... Welcome along to a theoretical class another person. There's a little song for you. Thank you very much indeed. That was very much about you that one. There was some doubt last time. I can say without fear of contradiction, that was about you. That was me clamoring into your spiritual path.
Starting point is 00:01:57 It was there with the toughies and your spirit. I haven't. I've been to a spa to market because I've lived the award. It's exactly the same thing. I promise you. It's been quite a... I've been to one spa to market because I used to live in the water. It's exactly the same thing, I promise you. It's just a bit quieter. I've been to one in the say Shell. Oh, have you known me? Yeah, I've had.
Starting point is 00:02:12 And what did you do there? I laid down on a table with a hole in it. And the massage. And the boat was the wall? Put your first hole. Put your dingal was. No, it wasn't where that was. And the, and, but, but, the whole lot, I remember that all of it because there was these great big, put your first or your dingo was no it wasn't where that was the and but me
Starting point is 00:02:26 all out that remember that all of it because there was these great big I mean that big like eight inches or something he's signifying eight inches and like I don't know cat or pillars or something really massive thick what thing wow that were poisonous and then and night the climb up the side of our walls of the bedroom yeah and then they dropped down and he's smack on the yoke. Thankfully none of them dropped on to me but it did tent the holiday and the fact that it pissed down for seven days. The whole so nice though, a nice fearsome back good. Barry O'Monner says to me, because he found me up I'd say. And he said to me, you know, you're high,
Starting point is 00:03:06 but I'm high, you're black, yeah. And I said, all right, Barry. He says, like to contribute to passnips. I know, he likes, and also fucking, and he sent us in one of his motivational things, you know, about his life and that. So I'll play it, because bless him. Is it a wild MP3?
Starting point is 00:03:22 He sent it as an MP3? Yeah, yeah. that'd be right. Yeah. Would that be right for Barry? For Barry, yeah. It's an MP3 sort of twat, yeah. Yeah. Well, let's have a listen.
Starting point is 00:03:32 Yeah, yep, yep, yep, yep. Barry, see homeowner here. Living my life on your behalf, you can taste what life is about when you dwell high, high, high in the business sky. So yet today, first up, heavily thrashed green smoothie with high sprinkled buckwheat flakes. Then skateboard to the gym catching some bigger air on the way.
Starting point is 00:03:55 Light warm up utilizing Indian and Nepalese chanting sticks and then box a size. Literally bleeding sweat through my lycra tuck tucks. Baboon! That is the moon kicked right up its fat ass! Exit Jim and straight to my fav artist and coffee pop-up. Jesus in European. She wants my life. She knows what I want, I know what I want, and I get it. I can pet you with a heart on top.
Starting point is 00:04:20 I get the message Rolenska, I'm hot! I won't let you down. I'll just take you up, up, up, up. Up into the business sky, and you feel like you're making love. Make a love to a Henry Hoover. It's 7.50 am. I'm first in the office, ping off a prank email to Les from accounts, saying his mum has called very, very at Nando's. Jam the coffee machine with a blob so that I'll be the only one can per-tutoring this am.
Starting point is 00:05:03 Squeeze out the sweat from my tuck tucks, start pinging off Blue Sky initiatives to head office. Pop up a non-Rinion turns tray, so you know it's from me, because I've written Hashtag Brain Stormer on it, and I won't let you down. I'll take you up, up, up. I'll be doing the business, Skye, and you'll feel.
Starting point is 00:05:22 Feel like you're making love. Make it love in a little car park. A 30-12 deep dive into the Amazon rabbit hole. Be a chill at Tabasquit, chimp her toothbrush at Tabasquit, Digital wireless, Bologchikuzi at Tabasquit, Proceed to check out Boomerunion Rudy! 12-1 AM, HyperJog to Pratt for Protein Ball, Apple Side Abust, sit in the window seats where I can observe the sea of failure that passes by.
Starting point is 00:05:56 Broke-ass to the seat next to me is taken, I say, yeah dude, it's my babe station! I won't let you down! I'll just take you up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, Love to a vet in a cat suit. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom.
Starting point is 00:06:31 Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom.
Starting point is 00:06:39 Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Game of Thrones. Do you know how that happened? I do not want to know how that happened. Tell us. Ben, the lovely Ben Picks who does the animation, sent us an email saying, could I just ask what does Barry Omo and the look like? And I put, I'd put in me Google or whatever, images of men with beards. Right. And of course celebrities come up first. And the first, to be
Starting point is 00:07:02 honest with you, the first one that looked about the right age was John Lumberthrone's Yeah, when we premiered that animation at the live show, a couple of years ago, he was in the office, he was sat watching it, and he came to see Top Flight Time, a Shane Life, all the weeks ago, and went for a pint with him. I was in high, so I was totally full of it. I offered him 20 quid for his image rights, but he declined. He declined it. So it's now with the lawyers.
Starting point is 00:07:28 Hey, speaking of Barry Horwore and the more popular Trin guy who you did on on the internet and got a daily mail in that, I had a train poem written for the last one which I didn't do. I like your train poems. This is this is all genuine, right? Here we go. The things you said. Oh, the things you said, like, it's a tier one market. But if Motorola are coming in at 50% of our price, I can't win. Where do I go from there?
Starting point is 00:07:53 Like, the guy prior to Todd was a guy called Marcus. Him and Josh, two peas in a pod. It was a level playing field. Like, Marcus, we've just read the dynamic. Marcus is techy. Like, Marcus is like 45. Josh is like like 30 Josh push back. He made his play like You need someone who can execute execute execute time after time Like he's very emotionally intelligent. He reads dynamics an intellectual firepower
Starting point is 00:08:18 Like Josh Luke like Federer and Adal We haven't even got to fucking darling and all the while you're sitting in my seat that's the poem that all happened that's the actual court that's from a conversation I heard on the train and the kid not be seat and the kid not be seat we even got the darling well I didn't sit there isn't it you should show you take it now I just want to sit there and listen yeah it's great because I could see the kind of men they were at the beginning I thought great I want to watch this. It's just kind of about getting a poem out of this.
Starting point is 00:08:48 And you can smell their tight suit, trouser pants. You can't. Yeah, it was special. So there we are. That's me, Trion Paul. Crime files has come in. Crime files is it? Yeah. No, no. Crime files. The small Lancashire village of Diggle is situated some 10 miles east of Manchester at one end of the restored standard canal tunnel. Known as the gateway to the mowers, it remains a popular destination for both hikers and mancunians, wishing to sample a quiet way of life. There was little crime and a great sense of community.
Starting point is 00:09:31 That was until the 10th of June 1997, when everything changed. That day started much as any other, with local nonsense potter Neil Hunt emching his kiln from an overnight firing and carefully placing the trinkets and tom titterie onto his nonsense shelving. Just as he settled down for a well-earned cup of tea and a slice of walnut cake, the daughter stood you opened and inwoddled Liam Gallagher leads singer of the Bandoasis you're all right Liam Gallagher you're all right little potter I'm Liam Gallagher I also put a rishap for our ass yes I'm Neil Hunt nonsense potter and pray tell me is that name meant to mean something
Starting point is 00:10:27 to me? Yes, I was famous as the fucking Delay Lama and I want to buy a nonsense potter in Frokeball for being our last Patsy riding a unicorn that's shitting out creamons. To take one off commissions is too much of a headbender. And why are there a few wearing a coat in here? It must be nearly a hundred degrees. The kill has been on all night. Yeah, if I don't wear the coat, I don't get recognised. And if I don't get recognised, I don't get a pass on me wisdom to the people. Oh yes, you're right. And what wisdom is this?
Starting point is 00:11:02 Go on, I dare you. Give me some examples of your so-called wisdom. I fucking dare you. Go on. No worries, Squire. Give me a chopper. I'll blow your tiny nonsense pottery mind to shiiiiiiiiit. Alright, I'm transport. Tell me something wise, uh, here goes. The wheels on the cargo rounds around show on that mate. Adult swallow till you understand brilliant fucking brilliant. I never realized that bra fucking though. Okay, what about pottery? What is pottery made out of? Go and tell me. What do you use to make pots? Uh, yeah, okay, easy. Your y'all's mud, clean mud, with all the wiggly worms and bits and pieces taken out so it's smooth like Damon Olpins bowl bag. That's supposed you're right after a fashion. Did this fruit bowl, how big do you want it? I was mainly for bananas, I liked
Starting point is 00:12:00 them, bananas on standby all perched at times. But when you have a banana and eat one there will only be seven bananas on standby and that's going to fuck your system up Nah, I got an old boxer and boots a chemist in my kitchen. I keep 40 bananas in at all times to restock me bowl from Fucking get you coatland and how much are you willing to pay whatever it costs? Fucking get you coatland and how much are you willing to pay whatever it costs Banana presentation is a big deal for me and Patsy just name your price Have you got a picture of this Patsy woman I can work from yeah, there you go That's Patsy on the right next to the fuel pump and do you want the fuel pump on the bowl design? Yeah, that'll be sweet But I want me and Patsy under unicorn in the front.
Starting point is 00:12:46 Yes, yes, yes, I realise that. But the fuel pump would be a nice detail towards the rear of the tableau. Well, for 8 banana capacity, you're going to need an 8 inch bowl, so that would be 1200 quid. And some, when will it be ready to cook? It'll fucking kid me sunshine. I'm Neil Hunt nonsense potter as I previously informed you. Go on fuck off out of the shop.
Starting point is 00:13:08 As I suspected you're nothing but a Todd warrior. Go on get out I'll serve you with a kill dried fuck off notice right round your thick head. Go on to get fuck you make me. Don't take that tone with me coat bloke. I'll have you know the best man at my brother-in-law's wedding holds a hardware store that sells chainsaw blades. Well, with this Liam takes off his coat and starts goose stepping around the shop, shouting Nazi bastard and kicking pottery nonsense off the shelves as he does so. What are you doing?
Starting point is 00:13:43 What in the name of Roger the fuck are you actually doing? Why is it always a little old fuck you me? I helped repair the Sunday school roof the other day and I frequently donate packet soups to the food bank. Liam is still go stepping around and knocking pottery to the floor. Neil has an idea. He grabs Liam's coat, runs over to the kiln and opens its door. Hey, coat-chimp! Get out or say goodbye to your fucking death coat! Liam stops in his tracks. Whoa!
Starting point is 00:14:17 Not so spotter! Carmy are head down here! That's me magic fucking wisdom coat! Just give it back and I'll clear off! Come on, I can't walk out of here as a no-cold bloke. H-ha, fucking-ha! Shit in your pants, aren't you? You fucking streak of quick-todd. Give me your credit card, now rip out 3000 quid for the fucking damage it in convenience.
Starting point is 00:14:39 Liam gives Neil the card and he takes the money. Now say you are fucking sorry and that I am the best nonsense potter in the fucking UK! Oh, sorry boss, you are the best nonsense potter in the UK! Yes, yes, I'm fucking up! I'm Neil Hunt and I'm loving my life! Now fuck off! Liam waddles out of the shop. Yes, yes, yes, I am a fucking nightmare And that's my friends
Starting point is 00:15:15 Oh brilliant, lovely Do you want a quiz? You're yeah, that quiz. Alright, this is called Wushbang Pop. Cat Peanut Crime. Oh yeah, Trout. Give me just a little more time. Now then, the magazine world, the magazine rack in the supermugga what You don't read magazines do you not magazine for 20 years as well?
Starting point is 00:15:51 Well, there we are this little this'll sort out what you're all about the more than in your And you do that. I'm doing by magazines to help you out right? What I've done is I've made the magazines be about things that you're interested in all right? So you might they might help I don't There you'll be three magazines your cat magazine. Yeah, monthly. I think monthly free badges month. All right, that helps Truck fishermen. Yeah, there's an earpage tribute to Bob church in that all right, baby. Bob church and Crime monthly, which has a story about the Ray life Hannibal Lecter on it. I'll give you them again if you want no Crime monthly most expensive then then the fishing, then the cats.
Starting point is 00:16:27 Cremely expensive, fishing, cats. You could not have been more rocked by Martimer. You're fucking full. You magazine idiot. Ah well, crowd monthly, $2.99. Track fishermen, $3.70. your cat with free badge 4 pounds 50 You've tried and failed to defeat Wush bang PURP Cat
Starting point is 00:16:51 P N A T Crime Ah yeah Trout Give me just a little more time I would like to do Andrew Hmm A Yergen Klopp
Starting point is 00:17:04 Right there Because I've intercepted a wav. Good, you know. Have you got like a dish or something in it, intercepts these, then you've got on your roof. It's Marvel's plate. I wouldn't call it a dish. Right, it's with a wire off it. Yes, so I intercepted a wav from Jürgen Klopp. He does his own music now.
Starting point is 00:17:19 Let's see, you'll let them. Gone then. Oh, yeah yeah for sure wow that's great dope cake let's put up a jammer zone and eat some tin peaches get mellow I'm Jürgen Klopp Please be plop. My ass is firm like a thick cut barnsley chop. A mergen club. Tick it up. I'm like a time bomb hidden in an office block. Oh yeah for sure. Why?
Starting point is 00:18:00 Take it easy baby. Oh that's great. Try this Moroccan love cube. Rub it on your pyjamas. That's a beautiful Frog come on for sure Wow, let's hire a year I'm your gun club Plippi plop I Always wished I was a motorcycle cop I always wished I was a motorcycle cop. HA HA HA!
Starting point is 00:18:24 You're a cop. Blippie plop. I will hug you round the back of the shops. You're a cop. Nick and new. A storm is brewing in my training shoe. Oh wow! For sure, let's take these pajamas off and hot tub the shit out of the night
Starting point is 00:18:47 You want some hot sauce with those burritos? My god sure yeah your face is as long as a hoover. I love it. I'm Jürgen Klopp Blippi Klopp I'm the leader of the un-field cop for sure wow it's alright any quite a visiferous laugh I don't I got a full of these fellas are just laughs a bit too hard. I got a full of their fillers. They just laugh a bit too hard. Yeah, I got a feeling that no one dares tell him his music's a bit dodgy.
Starting point is 00:19:29 No, no, no, the boss doesn't. Set up a record in studio, spend thousands on the unfaithful training ground. Yeah, it's a shame, but there you go. They were training session and then just retreat the wind, bang out a track. Bang out a track. the win, bang out a track. Bang out a track. Bang out a track. Oh. As you probably know, it's International Restaurant Week and I'm joined in the studio
Starting point is 00:19:51 that did by one of the country's most celebrated chefs. None of the then run crags. Hello Ron. No, I don't know what I'm wearing. I wear a jet-tune, you know. Wonderful. Thanks for coming along. Now, you're the resident chef at Slaughter's Meat Restaurant near Alexander Palace.
Starting point is 00:20:11 Would you say you have an overarching philosophy in your work there? Yeah. What the f- what are you saying? I suppose I'm wondering if you could describe your work. Oh, dare I say, you're craft in a single line run. What would it be? I'm trying to get inside my head. o fŵr i'r ddysgrabu o'r werch, o dder a sy'r yw'r crafd i'r ysyngellain rhan, o'r yw'r yw'r yw'r y byd. Rhyw gynb tryng ymddoedd yn ddod, yw'r ym, gwak, gwak, do'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy'r ydy' kind of gonna stop So it's like it's a it's almost a calling it's like your life's mission well, man, I'll just cook what comes in there
Starting point is 00:20:49 blow up your skin off at half nine and I cook what ever's in the bucket hot girls boil up the taste of glue send it home to me man Are you a scholar of any of the culinary pioneers? What are you talking about? A, yw'r sgolaor o'r ffyni'r cyllun rhai o'r ys? A, yw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ymdw'r ysgol, ymdw'r ymdw'r ymdw'r ymd You socialised with the day of the top chefs in London right now? There are any kindred spirits on the scene. I'd like to be with my fucking friend here.
Starting point is 00:21:30 What's the question? I'll vote, let me, you should tell me about your life. Then? No, Ron. Ron, meat restaurants are almost deri-guer these days. As a man who's worked solely and meat for decades now, do you feel a sense of responsibility? Derry gear!
Starting point is 00:21:46 Oh, the fuck are you? What the fuck are you all going on about? Are you trading in the... What on fish out of me? Do you want me to cover over there? And wrap me tender as I own me a fucking breed. No, sorry, sorry, no offense intended. Look, I'm on hold on.
Starting point is 00:22:02 Oh, and while I'm just loathing this blund just going to lie down on the floor. I'm just going to lie down on the floor. I'm just going to lie down on the floor. I'm just going to lie down on the floor. Thank you. Ah! Oh! Oh! Oh! I've got some questions here from the athletic opos and if listeners on the club osnips thing, errrr, let's have a quick look what we've got. How many bags of standard sized crisps is acceptable to eat in one sitting, says Jake. I would say, errr, three.
Starting point is 00:22:42 I wouldn't go more than three bags of crisps and one go, I know you're a healthy man. I could do three if you're a different flair, I could go from the light that I could do if I put vinegar in the middle so I went quite rich with a cheese non-yen, sliced through it with a vinegar and then went to a roast chicken, I think I could do that. Paul Domin says, what's the most erotic way to clean a tin bath? I would say probably wear a damp towel as a nippy and do it with your ass. The most erotic way to clean a tin bath. Yeah. Well, I can't answer that and Joe Loffin comes to mind.
Starting point is 00:23:18 I just have for us I think so. There we are. Screw top or cork wine? You don't like wine, do you? I've never drink wine. No, I find it. I find it. I get a bit tired and pissed very quickly.
Starting point is 00:23:36 And it's not really mine. I love to drink, Andy. Because you drink a lot like quickly. You drink wine as if it's pop or beer. I do, I drink. It's a bit... It's a bit man. if it's pop or beer. I do, I drink. You didn't even sip it, man. Yeah, well then I can. I'm not interested.
Starting point is 00:23:47 I was brought up drinking, um, went on me. I think it was me 16 to 17th birthday. My brothers took me to the pub to teach me out of drink, you know. Right. And you had to have a, my group. Yeah, beer was a lot weaker then.
Starting point is 00:23:59 Yeah, different times. Uh, Mark Boy says, rumours of a 100 million million investment in the city of Sunderland does Andy fail £100 million is enough to clear all that dog dirt. I like that question. I'll tell you what the £100 million is going to include, there's going to be a footbridge over the river way, linked in the city to the stadium, a light. So get away quickly afterwards. Get away quickly. That's a good thing. I'll please the about that. I feel like you know Andrew I haven't done a piece of basically for a while. It seems you know
Starting point is 00:24:34 to me. Right. So I'm just there then in the studio with Andrew and I'll just tell you some of the things that I can say. I recently eaten a mini cheddar biscuit, but not the actual mini one, the one that's slightly larger. And that's a much more of a surface area past the time, I'm the good old stare, like you know. And it goes very nicely as an extra crunchy crunch when you're having a chicken wrap Mae'n gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r is I know you'll remind me of big summer like you know like a bit partly but like ugly sort of guy you know but this face is very interesting you know I find ugly faces but very interesting and pretty faces you know you know I mean Painter! Oh it's a wife on the phone
Starting point is 00:25:38 Painter! What are you fuck I joe in London you're fucking joe'sy fucking clown. Oh, I'm ban you Christmas present. You're fucking betting I'd be you little black ass. Peter get out. Go on Peter. Last one, Neil P says what are are Martler and says, top 10 kitchen appliances? Fuddy should say that, I've just didn't accept that a while from him earlier on.
Starting point is 00:26:09 And here they are. My glorancing here, these are my top 10 kitchen appliances. Number 10, coffee percolator. Barbara made me include this, but personally speaking, caffeine makes me skittish. Number 9, the slow cooker. It's like if you could buy a casserole candle, isn't it? Number 8, microwave, overrated in my book, and the jury still out over the effect they have on your brain.
Starting point is 00:26:37 Number 7, toasted sandwich maker, the nutritional staple of the layabout. Number 6, the George Farman, where I won't tell you how I dispose of the contents of the layabout. Number 6, the George Farman, but I won't tell you how I dispose of the contents of the factory. Number 5, the juicer. I'm a strong advocate of juice. I've used it for 18 months now and it's definitely arrested the leathering of my next skin. Number 4, the air fryer. A new kid on the block, but an absolute revelation for me. Chicken Dippers never tasted better. Number three, the slotted spoon. Mark, I hear you say, that's not technically an appliance. Perhaps we're trying to imagine kitchen life without it. Number two, the cooker. No cooker, no cooking, end of. I'm a number one
Starting point is 00:27:21 kitchen appliance, the fridge freezer. without the fridge freezer. We're probably all be dead I'm Mark Lawrence and those are my top 10 kitchen appliances There we go Mark Lawrence's top 10 kitchen appliance Very good. I agree with him. I think it was more like on the nose right the way through. Yeah completely beautiful work Mark What's behind the door yes or no yes or no what's behind the door I don't know no no but what's behind the door three doors marginal fictional doors feet to go through you go through say what's on the other side
Starting point is 00:27:58 I didn't decide not know it's up to you they're not rail doesn't matter they don't matter you don't matter it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter. It doesn't mean it matters. Don number one, 666 European Wigs. What are you reckon? Six, six, six Wigs. You can try them on if you want to. I'm going to go through. They're not just full of luck. I'm going to try in as well. Okay. Don number two, bit of this, bit of that. I don't know if I can find it when you get in there. Third one, Ackabilk, he's got his top off, but he's got his hat on, he's wearing army trousers and he's threatening himself in a mirror with the naughty step.
Starting point is 00:28:32 He's of course, shit first. Shit first, Bill coming. Every time, every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. Every time. himself in a mirror with the naughty step. He's of course shit first. Shit first bill coming every time. Every time. Every time. That's about it. I think for this athletic or parsnips, thanks as ever for subscribing. Yeah, thank you so much for
Starting point is 00:28:57 watching. Is that the right word? Patternizing? Yeah. And keep in touch with us via whatever you do. We'll be back soon with more. Thank you so much. See ya. Bye bye. you

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