Athletico Mince - Bonus Episode: The Four Four Two Interview

Episode Date: October 19, 2019

Back in June, we were interviewed by Steve Hill for Four Four Two magazine. Here’s the audio of the interview. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acas...t.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, back in June 2019 we were interviewed by Steve Hill of 442 magazine, Just after we'd recorded an episode, so we recorded the interview as well, and with the kind permission of Steve and 442, here it is, you might think it's interesting, you might not, sort to you, hope you enjoy it though. How did you guys friends in real life know the North East is a big place? How did you guys meet? Did you approach Bob to do this? It was through Twitter.
Starting point is 00:00:51 Bob would start following me on Twitter, which I was thrilled by because I've always been a bit of a fan and then didn't sound like you were thrilled. You spent the first few times slagging me out. You started it because what happened was I'd been a little and I'd bought a portable plastic greenhouse for 25 quid that I was very pleased with. Solid. And I tweeted about it. And suddenly in me replies there was a tirey of abuse about it from Bob saying that it was
Starting point is 00:01:18 a load of shit and that it would fall down in the slightest breeze. Very solid experience. And what a worst of money it was. It did look a little terrible, you know, I mean, there's not two words about it. The only way it could be purchased was if like impulse plus foolish man. That's kind of just at the right. That's kind of exactly what it's only the product that you only bought that because of the price. You saw you saw a thing that was about five foot high and a foot wide and thought at that price. I saw a future. I saw a future, a glimpse into the future and I've still got it
Starting point is 00:01:49 and it's still boxed and it's in the garage and I use it the water favour. So if I still have that consumer advice do you thought this is the man for me? Well it's sort of a loosey thought about the mutual antipathy sort of carried on after that for a while and then Bob and Vatt had meet to watch him and Jim record House of Fools in Down here in London. I was the first time I met you were in Manchester. That was second time. First series he did was Elstrey and then it was Salford Seckser. So we went and we went for a few pranks and we sort of got along our right and we both
Starting point is 00:02:23 looked like football I think it might be in that night that the idea of a podcast was hatched just sort of Through the idea out and so that might be all right. They're one of them Yeah, and then nothing came of it for a while and then what you started that thing isn't it? I'm doing you know, you say I'm writing a book. Yeah Yeah, yeah You're aware of podcasts the time you're a big listener of podcasts I think I had become aware of writing a book, and I have a podcast. You know, I, and you, you're aware of podcasts, the time you've been listening to a podcast. I, I, I think I had become aware of them, yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:49 But, uh, in a sort of gentle way, I knew they were a thing, you know, like Ricky Giovese and I just, I don't know, I don't think I, I, my guests would be, I'd never listened to a podcast, but I was aware that they were thing. And around this same time, I just had me heart up. And after me heart up, I did make a decision, like Jim, Veku, I worked with,
Starting point is 00:03:11 no, nothing of football. Absolutely nothing. And so in all these 30 years, I've never been able to put, you know, we're all in our stuff, we're always reference in celebrities all the time, but there's never been one mention of a footballer because it means nothing to Jim. Literally, what?
Starting point is 00:03:27 It just means Maradona. It wouldn't mean anything to him. I mean, he'd know the name, Pelley, I'm sure, but he wouldn't be able to put a face to him. And so when I had it on my mind, I'd like to do something with football because I've not in, you know, like 50 years of following football,
Starting point is 00:03:42 I've never actually done anything about it. Media wise. And the podcast medium seemed like an easy thing to be able to do. Well, you must know you must have had to pitch stuff to TV stations and get through the podcast. No, it's very, very good. Yeah, it's slightly more complicated than that. And that's the beauty of it. It's that freedom that we've got to just do whatever we want, especially now that it's
Starting point is 00:04:03 not really a football podcast. Well, it's a question, but was it initially intended to be about football? Do you know what I think it was on it? Yeah, I think it was. I think we did it. Like, I don't know if Pompuses, the word or whatever it is, but I think we thought we had things to say about football. Yeah, I think, I mean, listen to the first couple of episodes, we're looking at like quirky
Starting point is 00:04:20 football stories that appeared online that week and things and we had you know Manchester United and a new official tractor partner and Jo Allen that appeared on the front of chickens monthly and they were real things so we were kind of talking about them but then obviously we sort of quickly went off at tangents with everything. As the best podcast do I think they evolve. Yeah, I mean your famous you say episode eight is the place to start. I don't know if that's right. It's just kind of a talk a few weeks just to find its feet, I think,
Starting point is 00:04:49 and work out what it was. But the first seven, that was so perfectly serviceable. You know, some nice stuff in there, but it just took that period of time to figure out what it was and what it was going to be. And then you started bringing characters in, was that was our intention? There's something about like, the stuff for me and Jim do, and I'm probably having the similar instincts,
Starting point is 00:05:08 like it's like one of the most depressing things is when he was a little voice at the back of your head, for me, saying that's just derivative or something else. Yeah. And like, I was feeling a bit like this has been covered so many times for a fantasy football onwards you know, it's got the best pie, it was this and what have you. And also when we started trying to do anything actually football I instantly felt well this
Starting point is 00:05:34 has just been done better, it's done better everywhere but people actually know what they're talking about. There are millions of football podcasts out there. So was it deliberate attempt to stand out or you just go, personally, it's just what happened. It's like feeling slightly uncomfortable. I can remember a moment saying that as criticizing Yaya Tore's performance, I saw it and I think, what the fuck?
Starting point is 00:05:56 What the fuck? What the fuck? You know what? And I'm thinking I'm not doing that no more. I remember a moment where it might be an episode three or four where we were talking about Kiki Flores, it was the Watford Manage at the time. And we discussed whether or not you'd be able to skill
Starting point is 00:06:11 the wall of a house using a Watford scarf. And I remember thinking, this is kind of more like what should we do? Yeah, it's the best, I think the best things in my experience happened like that. Because like when we did the big night out, we did about 12 big nights out before, it was on the telly on maybe 14, 15,
Starting point is 00:06:29 but they just developed from doing it in front of an audience, there was no show, and then we did a different show for 12 weeks running, and that one thing stuck from every show. So by the end of 12 shows, we had 12 characters, you know, we had 12 things, and I think this happened a bit with this really. That's the lovely thing with this something, for example the Olderman, it's just a
Starting point is 00:06:48 period in the episode we've done that day. That just came out of a little comment about you lived near the dirty Olderman or something like that and it then sprouted into this fully fledged character who appeared in future episodes and just little things. Barry Homewater was a nearer that you gave me at the start of an episode. And you had a couple of lines about what he would sound like, but that was fully fledged character and it came from that. There's no football there at all. The older man, he just doesn't contain anything, doesn't he? No, I don't. He doesn't sound like a football character.
Starting point is 00:07:19 That was from questions about me about your millionaire lifestyle and it soon became obvious that there was so much more to talk about than just football. So we've said for a long time now it's not football, podcast. It's an element of football in it. It's a nice like arena to pluck from because we've all got our prejudices against teams or footballers. Like a dead obvious one, I've got Ari McGuire down as a dozy farmer. I know it's obvious but you know like it's a nice look at him. I think it's the look of him and kind of the way he plays you know like when he when he strides forward it's fucking it is tragic.
Starting point is 00:07:57 But he's pretty good. He did that thing to me. He's first England game where he turned up with a bin bag with early stuff in. I like that. It's off brand of it. I mean, the running story I quite enjoy is Steve McLaren and Roy Hodgson, whatever. I mean, I think, I listen to podcasts when I'm asleep. So I kind of wake up, I woke up doing a kind of war hammer at the circuit. To infect your dreams of what kind of...
Starting point is 00:08:21 I've gone on to the wrong podcast, to me. Yeah, yes, it's a bad idea to just play in full asleep. It was a fit for me. And when is that going to do? Literally, Roihions voice that is in ability to pronounce us. I think I did not want you to say we should do what we're doing. Can you say can you do a Roy Hodgkin? I said I love a goal. I also wrote a warhammer. That's just like plucking from up here.
Starting point is 00:08:45 You know, I'd seen that video this, it's been around three years where Roy Hodgson is swearing, it's fucking out of me. Son, he's quite nasty. He's a piece of work, yeah. Which is a bit, what? It's a match of the day, wasn't he? That, that, that's fucking back.
Starting point is 00:08:58 You're gonna, yeah. That's fucking back, that's brutal. And I thought, yeah, it's like a genial owl and then, yeah. So the other side. So you think like, he's football and he can have a go at, and he was happy to do it. And then, it's just basically, Harry edge cober, but then, but then with that that comment, she think like, it doesn't want to be anything to do with football. He will take him and put him into the war hammer.
Starting point is 00:09:25 And he would stay with Claren, he exists in the football world, but he's more of a piece of this snake. They're not exact impressions. No, they're not caricatures. Yeah, exactly. I think the beat is pretty good. I'm still amazed that it took 50 episodes for Peter Beadsley to emerge into this.
Starting point is 00:09:49 Because it just seems so obvious. Is it 50 episodes? It was the episode 50 I think when Beadsley first appeared, yeah? No, I mean the podcast is quite well known. Do you think any of the people featured in it have ever listened to it or have any idea? We know that Mark Lawrenceson is aware of it because his son's a big big fan. I've sported him like Laurence's son on Twitter about it. And Mark is I think he's bemused by podcasting general maybe in the existence of it. But I think he um he likes that it's a thing. It was funny when Mark lots and did you remember the sounds just recently he hadn't been commentating for a while. You got the feeling he'd been side land and there was some match I'm thinking about six months ago where he was the cold commentator and And Twitter had kind of changed and they were saying artists fucking great. I've marked back
Starting point is 00:10:32 That's right. Yeah, we're still in these miserable things and everyone's saying yeah I prefer this much or so you're really rotten cook much and then he was just doing a stick Yeah, and the absence had made the out you Yeah, it seemed to work better than them. But he does it. It would be a world cup final. Oh, Christy, we are. Yeah, it's pretty cool. But if it's a shit, match, you'll call it as a shit match. Oh yeah, he doesn't say you know.
Starting point is 00:10:53 It's an absolute privilege to be here and Brazil for the greatest historic event. Yeah. It's a miserable thing, whatever's happening. I'm off with you to write the thing for him for our next episode. He's going to be our official summer ambassador. Who's this? Lauren sir. I ain't quite got it finished yet. What? Visiting. Sort of that sort of thing. Yeah. I'm honestly seeing a lot about Warhammer. I mean, who's writing his scripts? There's some very accurate detail there about Bizzirk. It's just all stuff that's plucked from Wikipedia.
Starting point is 00:11:21 I don't know whether it's accurate or not. Are you always going to say that if you had any kind of pencil mix, writing in, of course a bit of it wouldn't be too. We have, because we've both written bits of it. Yeah. I used to write it, you write it. No. When I do it, I try and make it as accurate as it seems to be from what I can glean from.
Starting point is 00:11:39 I can actually tell who was doing the voice for a while. You always do it, yeah. I like that. There's been a couple of people that have said that recently. But if you can't figure out who's doing the voice, that's what he is. So that's good, yeah. Merging to one part. No, that's a story with Casper the Snake. That's my clarin snake, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:11:59 Yeah, it's just, what kind of said? I don't know. It's the same thing. He's a steamer clarin team that we're off doing. And what I just have to say is that I don't know. Well, it's the same thing. He's a steamer client seems that worth doing. And what does it happen? But I can't do football. I don't want to make it too football. So yeah, I just thought,
Starting point is 00:12:13 I was fucking on my head, but he had a pet snake and it seems, you know, like sometimes if you're doing an individual, you know, you need two voices. I thought, you got to bring someone into the scene. Yeah. And he's are the kind of silent foil for him to express his weakness. Okay.
Starting point is 00:12:33 I felt like, a lot of the stories, I actually start believing them, but I'm... Yeah, is anything true at all? I think there was truth at the beginning, Andrew. I think some of my tales that eventually, like I had a South African incident with the gamekeeper, the fella, and then just went nuts with that. I mean, in the early ones, you were talking about experiences you've had with footballers
Starting point is 00:12:56 and that on aeroplanes and things. They seem to be rooted in reality. Yeah. You know, it's just really what did Mickey drink really retrievers. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, from a test. Yeah, it's like Because it's so good such a good thing they've got a World Cup when he young Oh, I don't know what it is now out because it's funny. I'm 60 years old now and still one of my I'm still returned my memories of that same World Cup, but yeah, it was this little just a field hole Probably five by it was this little disafield hole, probably five by,
Starting point is 00:13:25 it was wide, five by five, four foot deep with a hole in the middle of the planks on the top and it's fucking case well, that's what I'm talking about. You gotta get them, that's what that's how we're getting help. It's your case, isn't it? Is it? Well, the same life, you know, life life. You can, you have a stosh.
Starting point is 00:13:39 Think of it, fucking football, it was doing, fucking hell, but you can't get you got to get in. If you knew you know, it's not that big a thing fucking I'll get it draw straws No Mickey's gonna get in there's no worries. Well, there's case. No, there were Well, there were out there were out we bought a transit man Oh, I love Spain And well, that's your first World Cup. There was that Cup. I did Spain, I did Italy and I'm feeling I've done a fucking another one and you roles or something. Spain and Italy were the great ones because the Italy one it was the that one in Nepal, that
Starting point is 00:14:18 wonderful quarter final against Camarone, the gas guy in that and to be a were amazing. It was be, I was amazing. Who was the amazing thing was, I'd never seen it before. It's an ass-stated, I'm an Apple-East one. Then just before the teams come out, they'd put the lights out, which seems obvious in a way.
Starting point is 00:14:34 But, and then there's the teams come out, it's darkness, and then they go, bang! And it's like, whoa, fuck! And you could almost see the rest of the England team. You can also feel it like, whoa, fuck. And you could almost say the rest of the England team, you could also feel it like, oh, fuck. Gascoyne. And there's a ross falling out.
Starting point is 00:14:51 Yeah, you felt that, you know what I mean? But Gascoyne, for pre-addedo, and like, wow, he was like, that was a nape. That was a nape. I originally watched the Maradonna film, which, it's incredible how today. You can take your doll, Leo, with you and watch it. Oh, nice to be here.
Starting point is 00:15:04 That was the end of that season where he'd done what he did at Naples, yeah We asked when they turned against him because he took a penalty in that stadium, didn't he? Is that right? Against Italy, yeah Yeah, that's what this deal is, it's classic hinges on there Yeah, it was basically run out of town after that And then we went to then the next match was up in Churin against Germany No, you're up there, man.
Starting point is 00:15:25 No, there's no because like that all the word on the England fan straights, you know, we were down the in Nagpels was, don't fucking go. It's going to be hell. Some sort of revenge for a Liverpool match or something. Right. Some such rumour. And I lost it. And I lost it.
Starting point is 00:15:41 I lost my bottle and watched it. Yeah. And a lot of England fans did. there was a lot of us still there. We didn't go to the game. We were all too scared, there was this teddy's room was going around it, it's going to be hard. I don't know how far it's going. It's about 40,000 Germans, about 4,000 England.
Starting point is 00:15:57 It's alright, yeah, honestly there was a real absolute, no, don't go. And where we were in there was no one seemed to have shifted. There were still like thousands of England fans watching the Germany match there. Yeah. Jesus. I mean, you still get out watching the now and it's still pretty unpleasant, recently. Yeah. No, I don't think I, yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:15 It's just, it's only so much time you want to spend dodging passive furniture in it. I've taken my boys to see me a few times just for that experience. Away. Until a Wales match and my son went to the... the U-Rose in France and that. I mean he was... It is his three-dick because I was a parent. My son went to Marseille, so he's down there. I'm watching images of the telly of like the...
Starting point is 00:16:40 say yes gas and the fucking blood everywhere and all that. And then Harry forms me up and says, yes, I'm in that hotel on the front there. That's where I'm putting out Says what you do. He says we're just old up in the room. He says it's really frightening There's fucking say yes gas in the foyer. It's just and of course and then you realize it's fucking shit in here I was in Marseille in 98 Was that a bad one as well? Yeah, we're actually hold up in a yacht, which is Yeah, yeah. We actually hold up in a yacht, which is not a good one. Yeah, that was horrific. And of course that Horton L. in Marcy inspired the Jambon episode.
Starting point is 00:17:12 Which is difficult. It somehow feels like a landmark episode. Yeah, that's another one. I assume that was real. Because around the Bahamian I tell. Is that just a hairdo? No, that's not real. I was just thinking. I was a studio near Neil and Bridge with the Earth, the fan switch dog. It's a terrible thing really,
Starting point is 00:17:28 because you do come drop some fantastic. It's a skill, I don't know whether it's a skill that you could be proud of, because I'm quite proud of what I like to you now as well. And I seem to be a good liar. I just took it on a spot that you've gone down to Mars, say you got the train, which I can do. Because it was right in the middle of it, it was about two days after I got kicked off. You did have a lot of jam on around the room, a bit of a lay, but...
Starting point is 00:17:51 Yeah, there was lay, there was lay. But two thirds of it was sinking, was it really doing that? Of course, it was kind of ruining for me, I won't believe anything. These new, is Vardy quite a new character? I mean that's... I was wondering how Jamie Vardy quite new currently? Certainly, that's... I was wondering... I was wondering how Jamie Vardy speaks, I don't know. It's not remotely how he speaks. We used to do something called Gangs of the UPL. Yes. And it was part of the England.
Starting point is 00:18:15 It was part of the England stuff, wasn't it? It was Don't Pass to Vardy. How do you get Don't Pass to Vardy? Yeah. And Vardy became his edgy outsider character, didn't he? Yeah, cool. To be honest with you, you know, like, you've got a new player. The so many, I look at, I say, I'll do Demari Gray.
Starting point is 00:18:34 I was looking for a lester player to do. Madison, there's a lot of them from the home counties, more than, especially these youngsters. So they've got no voice. So I look for someone who's from somewhere and attempt that accent. It's not an attempting their their voice just their accent really I don't know why Jamie It's like it's how things work like a day before I did Jamie Vardy or within the week Jamie Vardy someone I was doing an impression of Port McCartney
Starting point is 00:19:05 I was doing an impression of Port McCartney, the Beatles, who were vegetarians, and someone made the mistake, saying, no, it's not bad that. So I wanted to use that voice, so fuck it, Jeremy, I really can have it. It also seems to tell you that Alps with his character, he seems quite a chippy piece of work, but in your podcast, he's kind of a laid-back. Yeah, he's quite cool, isn't he?
Starting point is 00:19:22 Yeah. I mean, it could be any. I think of all the characters we do, I think I want to be a laid-back. Yeah, he's quite cool, isn't he? Yeah. I mean, it could be any time. I think of all the characters we do, I think I want to be Jim, you know what I mean? He's just using his name as far as it's gone by that one. Yeah, that's kind of... And his chin.
Starting point is 00:19:34 Like the little trek in it, we've used... When we did our Man and Jim's comedy, for example, has always been the same, but we had one show that was a big success, which was shooting stars, because people were comfortable because they could see Jonathan Rath or Chris Evans or any, somehow it just makes them, they'll then bother to listen to our comedy. So it's a similar kind of tricky, a bit in it, in a way, because it's Roy Hodson. No, I mean, yeah, it's just fucking nonsense.
Starting point is 00:20:02 But by kind of an opposite of that, we get a lot of people that say that they've got no interest in football or they hate football, but they love the podcast. Well, yeah, that's the greatest comfort, isn't it? Yeah, I was saying they don't really know who the characters are in real life, but they... I was saying earlier, I've made a bit of Mr Fernandez
Starting point is 00:20:20 to my partner in bed last night. Yeah, she's happy, listen to him. No concept to who Mr Fernandez is. partner in bed last night. Yeah, she's happy, listened to the concept of who Mr Fernandez is. Is that the main thing? And you can just let your imagination go down. That's nice, dear. I went to sleep.
Starting point is 00:20:34 So, to get back to that. So, McLaren's left KPR, but he's left it in good nick. He's left it in good nick. Tidy, with carpet-wise. Laundry-wise, carpet-wise. He's got rid of a lot of laminates and replaced it with a good deep pile carpet in. They're actually trying to...
Starting point is 00:20:50 They've got every chance. We had a chairman at Chester who literally excited the new carpet in the club bar and the fact that we had three working faxes. We may have relegated that to the league but it's not been a failure. On the admin side everything's working good. It's three working faxes. Wow. Not just par. Working in one under repair.
Starting point is 00:21:09 That's an ongoing one. I mean, the character's kind of phasing it out. I feel the responsibility. There's some of them that I would do, happily do every week. I'm sure it's the same with Andy, but you feel a bit of a responsibility that they can sense this and I'm sure they'll listen again, because the map is on view this week. So I can soap opera where characters get a little pluck, they get the story line and they go back in the box.
Starting point is 00:21:31 Yeah, we're building up quite a roster now. Yeah, I think when we get one and we realise it's a good and we'll do it non-stop for about four or five weeks but then you give it a rest and something else comes back yeah, I mean the older man there was in this episode. We have a big love time. Look at an older man as a low ranking government official. Isn't he just a little man? Yes, it was an interesting one.
Starting point is 00:21:49 It's like, there's no other football podcast doing that. No, but what it is, what it is is, there's a local borough, yeah? And it's got a Chinese community there, yeah? For example, so the Chinese community hasn't got a chance of getting a counselor, but they're an important them not in a vote So when the council is
Starting point is 00:22:09 Goes for on their first week. They say let's appoint some older men so they can ask someone from the Chinese community or someone It was a you know of importance. So they're never voted for it's kind of like a little official Yeah, yeah, that represents something in the borough. I mean the guardian football aren't talking about that. Well, I don't know where that they are. I don't know. I don't. I don't. No, I mean, I think that there's far too much said about football, to be honest, I don't think it's just a noise. It is. Yeah. I mean, we've got 24 hours sky sports news and we've got talk sport around the clock. It's amazing. I don't. I'm not interested in hearing whether what pog was future might be at 10 a.m. And then breaking people talking about it again at 4 p.m. Sky sports news either week and Kevin Davies was on and I imagine they've got them into the studio, they've paid for a car front to come in, he's probably getting a nice fee to be there. Is he the secret footballer? No comment. And he
Starting point is 00:23:18 said that this was just post Champions League final and he said the best thing that Harry King could do to get over the loss in the Champions League final will be to win the nation's league with England. I thought, fuck me, that's really insight that, isn't it? That's my never seen. You've lost the game, no try winning it. Yeah, I'm glad they've got him in to deliver that insight from a former professional. You just run out of things to say. I don't get what I lose. When I watch football, I turn it on 10 seconds to get off. Yeah. Go outside for a little time.
Starting point is 00:23:47 I watch football. I've never heard Gary Neville speak. No. Don't know what he sounds like. I thought that I thought that I think that I'd have to give credit to Caragher and Neville for the Monday night thing. Yeah. And that's forensic analysis.
Starting point is 00:23:59 Yeah. JFK, you know. Yeah. But it's quite nice. I said, like, restored my faith a bit and because I was like, you and I, you know, like, you know, you could actually question some answer to someone, like, do they know anything about people,
Starting point is 00:24:10 any more than just the bloke who goes occasionally, you know? But then I was quite refreshing to see them say, oh, fuck now. Because they go a bit deep, I mean, there's some of them, I really like, I really like, Clint Morrison's really good, I think. He started doing quite a bit of stuff now. Clint Morrison's good.
Starting point is 00:24:27 And I've heard, if Roy Keen of Grimstone is all together, I watch that because that's just pantomime. Just the bristling tension of it. Yeah. I'm not that asked about technical, technical, technical, and technical. I mean, King can't get paid by the word. It's just the whole passive aggressor.
Starting point is 00:24:42 Exactly. Yeah. It's like watching a performance isn't it? Like watching theatre. Jesus, but you know watching a performance and it's like watching theatre. Jesus, but you know, a lot of it talks about just about getting people to phone in. Let's just say it's in a controversial day of the Arsenal fancomer ring in. Yeah, and I just, we say we did sort of opinion stuff
Starting point is 00:24:56 early on and we didn't think we had any kind of doesn't have that right to, yeah. What is the feedback? Do you get people in the comments going, what I listen to this thinking, it was about football and I'm horrified, or is it encouraging? I think what the most annoying thing is the people think
Starting point is 00:25:13 it's a football podcast when it pretty much isn't anymore. Yeah, so if we could go back, we probably wouldn't have labeled it as a football one. But that's where it came from, so. Is it going in a football magazine yourself? Yeah, there's more in there. I think you, I definitely must enhance your enjoyment of it if you know football. Yeah, no, because you must.
Starting point is 00:25:32 Yeah, it must do a bit. I can't, but I'm never really talking that seriously to start with, but now I can never, you've never taken seriously again. Yeah. And we'll just be thinking of him and his carpet. Yeah, I've got to make turn things around for Peter. Sometimes I think, well, I've got, you, you know like I have no idea what Peter is I'm I lovely bright energetic chap. I have no idea Did you see that thing that someone tweeted from a old shoot question air from years ago? What would you do if you were invisible for a deer?
Starting point is 00:25:57 He said I'd do something like Go and press the button on a zebra crossing. All right, it's been a long day, it's staring at the keyters on the... Oh, man. Jesus, that slaughter sounds a place. What am I living north, London? Yeah, it's near Alexander Palace. All right, very. It's, you know, like, there was one in EC1, I remember.
Starting point is 00:26:20 Like, it's thing is meat. Okay. An aging loop. Oples and meats. It's just a patron of it. Yeah. Can't get enough. Can't get enough. Of course, when a dart's world finals, that's where he is every day of the game.
Starting point is 00:26:32 This game has gone to pieces since he's back to the World Championship. Yeah. And it's a... It was a thing related, you think. I just love the darts. And with my family, we all, you know, we just all speculate as to what stench is around. The way he's eating us, we know when he walks off.
Starting point is 00:26:51 Yeah. And the last while he had a little brown pepper bag that he kept going in, just didn't know, and just, right, I'm lucky. I've got a place I can then come and fantasize about his life. There was a fart gate at the door, at the recently, do you know what I like? No, I didn't. Gary Anderson was accused of farting.
Starting point is 00:27:10 Yeah. And he internally accused his opponent of farting. Yeah, that's right. I saw that. I can't believe Gary Anderson would fart. It doesn't seem... It's a digestive system for the insect. It doesn't seem like a fart out of me.
Starting point is 00:27:22 It seems like mind games, I think. Right, we've slightly come up with one. You're a famous barrow fan, Bob. In fact, you're in the mag recently talking barrow, haven't you? Yes, I was, yeah. How's that working out for you despite the season? It was okay. I mean, I always think the most that you can hope for
Starting point is 00:27:40 is that your season goes to the last couple of weeks. I suppose that's all you can know, well I mean even if it's a relegation, so there's a little story to follow and still some belief in some sort of outcome. Well, yeah, I guess what I saw the playoffs before. Yeah, and we went to the last match, so, but we've not been great to watch.
Starting point is 00:27:59 And I don't think that I'd realized how soul destroyed. I thought like I would enjoy watching with it. I've never had that I'd realized how soul destroyed. I thought I would enjoy watching with it. I've never had that feeling before. We've played badly in the past under Caranche and so on, but it hasn't been weak in, weak out, and Jesus, it's not a pleasant experience. It really isn't, it's like, is that answer coolest?
Starting point is 00:28:21 I think so, yeah. What did you say he's got it? He's got it. Yeah, Pulas went at the end of the season. I'm sure. And we've now just today, a point of woodgate. Okay. But Pulas make a character and what have I...
Starting point is 00:28:36 I have done Pulas, I mean, I struggle a bit. He's Welsh, south, west, west. Yeah, I'm sorry. And I also feel a bit... I also feel a bit right. I don't, I feel a bit rotten doing middle stuff because it's my club. And you're a long suffering son of a fan? Yeah, long suffering's the word, I think.
Starting point is 00:28:55 Yeah. It's that kind of thing Bob's talking about if there's a narrative and a bit of a drama going on and a storyline that makes it better. And we've really had that last couple of seasons, of course we have the Netflix series last year. And then this season has almost been as perfect as scripted Netflix season as you could last four. We started the season by beating Charlton 2-1 in injury time and we ended the season losing 2-1 in a chart a sudden one fan's happy with Sunlund till I did the like it.
Starting point is 00:29:30 I think so, yeah. I think it showed the club in a good light and it showed the truth about what was going on that season as well because we had that Martin being a slippery character there was a CEO, and he walked off of the 1.7 million £P off-par. Yeah. I don't think any character, like, I don't know, I forget in the push word for it, but he's summed up everything about North East football. A chance? A chance of convincing North East, but it's, you do not have an ownership.
Starting point is 00:30:00 I'm an ownership. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't even think it's North East. I think it's probably for both throughout. These characters that leech from clubs because they've got a bit of chat. But since then, new ownership, the ownership's going to change again. Apparently, someone's coming in, some American guy. He's an English guy, I think, but he's based in New York. Big money. He's got money apparently, but you never know.
Starting point is 00:30:28 You never know, you know, just because someone doesn't have the suck of money that doesn't end up wisely. Welcomeing of any, any, if anyone weighs in my mind. In your car. Yeah, that's just desperate to just have any kind of, you know, glimmer of hope. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:30:43 So we're there again. We've got another season in league. One, we've really needed to get out of it this season because you can end up stagnating in the way Cheffioli and I did for a long time. But when you say like, we really need to get out of it. Yeah. It's like that there's some bigger plan to go where?
Starting point is 00:30:59 What's the... What's the point in the championship? Well, I'm just sitting on one to Sunland, I don't know. I don't know, Sunland, Sunland's got a 48,000 capacity stadium. By right, Sunland should be in the championship. I'm just sitting on one of the Sunlands. I don't know. And then all Sunlands, Sunlands got a 48,000 capacity stadium by a right Sunland should be in the Premier League, but it doesn't work like that. But, you know, we should look at what Sohdham did because they were in that league and they turned their attention to bolster and their youth academy and work their way back up to the Premier League again. I mean, they suspect the clubs like Bournemouth and Watford. And so that, they're back up to the Premier League again. I mean, they suspect the clubs like Bournemouth and Watford and so on. They're sitting pretty in the Premier League now and
Starting point is 00:31:30 you would think the club with a massive support of 40-1000 fans should be doing that as well, but it doesn't happen. Well, yeah, we had this argument before. Probably Savage said Premier League should be lead, Sunderland, that's just a snapshot. I'm not sure if it's back in there. It's kiddie-one thing, that. Bour a snob. I'm sure it's actually a good one. It's a good one thing, that. Almost are in there for winning lots of matches.
Starting point is 00:31:48 Because they're in the club properly. Yeah, it is interesting what you say, and actually, maybe you shouldn't be in such a rush to get out, because like, Southampton did it, Chef United did it, and you're in the rush to do it. You know, like, you can use that league one time. Maybe not being too desperate to get 34 year olds
Starting point is 00:32:06 in and might get you up. It reminds me, we had that, when we signed now, Quin and Kevin Phillips and we had two seasons in the championship, we missed that one, that player finally, 90 years. But then we just tweaked it a bit, the second season, I got 105 points. And to go up after that player final would have been too soon, possibly. And then you get that extra season, you get them a more momentum. And we finished seventh in the Premier League twice when we went up with Kevin Phillips scoring for fun. So it's almost like we need to improve on what we've done last season and try and get it a league one.
Starting point is 00:32:38 But if we start to go back and start in treadwater, that's when you're in a bit of a debtor. It'd be good. I don't know. You're in trouble though, it's, I don't know. Yeah, we need an identity. It's kind of, it's a double-edged thing because to be fair, the Jack Rossi came in at the start of the season and then the first day of training and I think there was 10 players there. So there wasn't a squad and he did
Starting point is 00:32:59 have to build a squad up really quickly and you can only get what's available and who'll come. So it was a bit of me doing men sort of thing. So we did fairly well finish fifth. But at the same time, you know, there's this place like Lee Katamor that you had McGadie there and you'd think that promotion should have been achievable. But we'll see. I mean, we do live with that problem up there. I don't think it's I think it's quite hard to attract people. It's an extra you have to pay an extra few million. Just turning into a football bonkast. This is what it could have been. I think it's quite hard to attract people. It's an extra, you have to pay an extra few million.
Starting point is 00:33:25 Just turning into a football bug cast. This is what it could have been. Yeah, he's a footballer. So you just, you just, episode 84, if you look at a lot of bug cast, a lot of them, you know, you see episode 12, nothing for a year, they sort of fade out. How do you think you've kept them away from going? Because you knock them out whatever, two or three weeks.
Starting point is 00:33:41 It's about every couple of weeks, isn't it? We've had gaps when we haven't done anything when Bob's been off doing other stuff, but we're kind of in the groove of doing one or four and I know, and we keep them short. I think people tend to switch off after about 35 minutes of focus, so you've got to just be as brief as you can. And I think once every two weeks for half an hour
Starting point is 00:34:01 is enough for it. And the preparation, I'm surprised I'm a ticker, it's a preparation, there's a tendency to think you're just making up as you go along. No, in the early days there was a song and I just had about ten lines. It's full of points, it's better for putting a bit of a grafting. So what will be in the meantime? We look for football stories or are you so far up and removing football now?
Starting point is 00:34:28 It doesn't feel like football's a bit of a... So, if I do gang the EPL, I try to attach it to something. Yeah. Like, if Gwynne Spur's got a thing on it. I think I'll be like, oh yeah. But, um... I, um, I don't enjoy that now, EPL.
Starting point is 00:34:44 Do you not? No, I can't put my finger on it, it's just not seen much fun to do, but maybe it's like being tight, yeah, maybe it's because the fact that it's tight to football, maybe that's the thing we've just done a lot of them. It was always like a band settler, you're dropping the odd song from your set. Yeah, bring it back to the early stuff. You always hold it, holding down it. Yeah, yeah. Because I'm not London. I'm Tumbridge Wells, so London's about to have a fight. It's like we're in it, yeah. That's what he told me.
Starting point is 00:35:15 I haven't done a map, but that's what he said. So, can you talk to me? Newcastle with me, London, didn't he? Yeah, we're just kicking doing it while it's fun. I think you kind of know when it stops being fun. Absolutely. The crime files is almost a podcast within a podcast, isn't it? So I listened to some of those crime files. I listened more to the kind of white collar ones. There's one called Swindles.
Starting point is 00:35:42 People gibbing quiche shows and they get a lot of chicken. Rather than just murdering out there. I mean that could almost be a spin-off. Yeah I think someone has done a spoof crime one. There was a thing that the union did one. It was kind of like the serial spoof of that. But that's just my life,'s what I do what I listen to okay so you know you're in a in the car listening to one and then you just think oh fuck I should do one with football as you know I like all I like if
Starting point is 00:36:17 you if you listen to one like a sword and scale or any of the tele ones the the soundtrack's so. You don't know some summary cleverly, but they're actually ridiculous. It goes like, Adlanta's fourth of February. You know, like, fucking, they never stop any. The sound all the way through them fucking and they're just like, what, Adlanta? I don Atlanta is. Just to get the idea that, oh, Atlanta doesn't sound very good, does it? Did you hear that noise? You didn't cry. Wow.
Starting point is 00:36:50 A bottle break. Jesus Christ. Well, that's what it's all about. You listen to crime ones. You said you don't really listen to foot ones. You listen to any other kind of podcast. I listen to... There's so much shit out of the day. It's amazing.
Starting point is 00:37:01 It's got such a simple format. It's kind of cool. It's quite an old school thing. There's almost like a radio. It's like radio, yeah. It is, I mean, I've touched on it earlier. It's that thing of having complete creative control and being able to do whatever you want to do. Because you know, he's done loads of telly stuff. I've done bits of radio stuff and sort of fringes of telly stuff. And you're always at the behest of some commissioner or some management. He'll tell you what you can't say.
Starting point is 00:37:24 But with this we can just do whatever we want to do. And that's where the end of, because there is no end. And no one's going to tell you to... Well just look, if you're written down there, and I think Jeff thing, I mean the swear account, he's up there, putting a different category, he's up there. Not that I'm aware of. That's the how explicit content, the little symbol, the next thing, but they all have that
Starting point is 00:37:43 but you know. I mean I sort of think that if I was watching football I are talking about football and then everyone would be effort and Jeff in. I think it's one of the reasons why a lot of YouTube and stuff is one of the tiny part of it but one of the reasons why it's taken over from TV is because yeah people can swear. You know it's not much of a real. It was apologise on the sky if you hear it. Yeah, the crowd is a bit...
Starting point is 00:38:10 Literally, you're so shit, it's under the image. It's just, it's just, it's all heard, it's all readable. Yeah, it's kind of old, fashion out, it reminds me of me being 17 and a parent watching an Arthur Aske film, and thinking that's from a completely different era, and it's of no interest to me. And I imagine the youth today, or the under 30s or whatever, if you do it without swearing,
Starting point is 00:38:32 they'll have a similar feeling, you know, it's not. TV's gonna put pure hotel, is that whole water should be there? Yeah, and I think part of why this works as well as it does is because of that, because you wouldn't get it anywhere else, it wouldn't work as a TV show. It wouldn't be a lot of work. It wouldn't be allowed to do it in radio, it is what it is. So podcasts aren't a lesser format, if you like. Just a more open format, obviously.
Starting point is 00:38:57 You never really suggested beeping it out, we didn't be a headache for you to do that. I don't think so, it's just, yeah, it's naturally where we're coming from. That's why it works, I think because of that honesty that it's got. Do you have any kind of celebrity follows that you know of in the football world? We haven't had any feedback from anybody, have we? No, I don't think so. It's not about my own son. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:21 It's a big fan. Mark's kind of slightly bewildered by it, but I'm sure there's some reference to Don't Pastor Vardy came from some football back up. I just love the thought of Jamie Vardy listening to that, that's not me. That's absolutely not me. I don't actually live in Polesden, where's Polesden? Well, I go imagine Adrian Lewis actively seeking out slaughter. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:44 Perfect. Yeah, yeah. Go on, find it. The fire was restaurant all about, it was fantastic. I mean, you do some other podcasts as well, don't you? You're the thing with Sam Delaney, don't you? Yeah, we think you're like your own rival almost. Yeah, sort of, it's called Top Flight Time Machine. What it was originally it started out as being, we'd cover a different Premier League season.
Starting point is 00:40:04 Each episode we started at the beginning a different Premier League season each episode. We started at the beginning of the Premier League in 92, and we just did one season per episode and we put an episode out once every two weeks. And then again, it mutated into something else and now it's a five episode a week. It's almost like a radio show. You do five a week, yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:21 But again, we just do half an hour. So we're not taking, we're not invading people's, but you're coming out of lunch, sir. Now we do, I don't know if you want me to do room art. I did one yesterday with them when I was down. But then yeah it's again it's sort rooted in football but it's not and it goes off in other directions and it's that thing. I think it's the thing you said football fans, whether they whether in the pub, they don't talk about football, they don't sit and talk about tactics and systems and transfer speculations and that much, they'll talk about the things that's on the fringes of football. Is that it? We saw some of them fall over, they're like, whatever, and that's kind of what we're doing.
Starting point is 00:41:01 So that's doing all right as well, that's. What do the actual football fans say? They let you you go well that was a shame about England wasn't I don't know I don't know I don't know I've listened to a borough podcast but of course that's fair enough it's just you know yeah but I've never listened to any of the like the Guardian ones the big one isn't it football weekly is that the big one I remember the the totally football show spun off from that because the cup of the Guardian and Peter Crouch does one. Yeah that's huge. And that's that's that's just like you know Joe and the Colts and stuff. Yeah he's quite an amiable guy. Yeah. You know when I was
Starting point is 00:41:35 living in a house with some of those you know just joking about the cooking. Well that's quite interesting. Yeah he's like behind the scenes before. Yeah. of which he will only have that access being a footballer. Yeah, he'd be good for Sunlin, only. Crouch. Probably, yeah. So you're okay with him doing other podcasts, you don't get to do that one. Not far from by me, yeah. I might do one of them tactical military equipment tonight.
Starting point is 00:41:57 The, um, John's. And, uh, he's used to doing more filming stuff, you can run, so you can do it. Is it a new Big Night out. Yeah, we've got a Big Night out to start filming that in maybe a week's time or something. Fantastic. And we've got a new fishing show. Well, we're coming out in August. So you must have watched Big Night out back in 1990. I thought that's the guy for me to do a bug. Yeah, when they've had podcasts, they'll do. No, but seriously, I was a massive fan of Big Night when I came out and that was one
Starting point is 00:42:33 of the things that made me realise that I wanted to do comedy and I wanted to do writing because it was kind of fickenbob and viz. What? Because you thought it's so shit. I just thought this thing's really easy. They're not doing anything that they may be me. It's not doing, but it was sort of like comedy before then. A lot of it was rooted in Oxbridge and Footlights and just university, whereas what I mean, Jim were doing
Starting point is 00:42:59 was just sitting about in a pub. And they got on the tally and viz just started out as being just someone doing their own magazine, the back bedroom and it kind of showed you the other ways of getting into a team. Were you involved in it? Were you involved in it? Did you use to write for this?
Starting point is 00:43:13 I've done a few little bits now now, yeah. Okay, so this is why this again, well it's good you're out of the friend at the BBC to get any kind of commission. It helps to get someone with Bob's profile to get a podcast off the ground. Yeah. I'd recommend that. Clearly. I'll bet that in my life.
Starting point is 00:43:27 I just want to start mine next week. Does everybody do what now? Well, that's what I think. It's almost like having a Twitter account. It's a phone book. Yeah. There's a deluge of them now. I mean, how do you stand out amongst the cramp basically?
Starting point is 00:43:42 Are we all sorry? How do you stand out, you think? It's just because you're... I'll end up being like, that likes the crap mostly. Oh, you're sorry? How'd you stand out, you think? Just because you're... I'll end up being like, I tell you, there'll be curation production teams. I don't know. I mean, we got in, not at the beginning,
Starting point is 00:43:52 but we got in three years ago, and I think that was a good time to do it, and build up an audience because there wasn't that many of them around. But now, everyone's doing one. Do you think, I mean, how far do you think we are towards peak podcasts? I still know people who don't know what one is. Yeah but then we're probably a bit off the mountain.
Starting point is 00:44:09 There's a couple of people I've heard of who were in the media and they say that it hasn't even started yet. Really? Um, a new word I learned this into it is it's Tudd, is that a Northeastern? It's an artisanal project. It's Tudd's daughter. Todd slaughter. It's Todd slaughter, it's an axel, wasn't it? Was he? Yeah, yeah. It's in the face of the gunbag. It's like an old horror actor.
Starting point is 00:44:29 Right. Todd slaughter. Ha ha ha. As a tolle, he's just a clarifier, just a- Is a shit, yeah. Thank you.

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