Athletico Mince - Ep. 103 - Night Remorse

Episode Date: April 23, 2020

Isolation poetry, baths, pre-lockdown meat feasting, Peter’s shop visit, Lawro’s online PE session, and lots more. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. Se...e acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, I know how you're doing alright. Hello, hello Bob. Yeah, nice to see you. Yeah, look you've got virtually. Yeah, or horns. Yeah, it's a virtual face to face in it as you've done something with your hair since last time I've grown it really long Stubborn lustrous. Yeah, yeah, it suits you. You look a little bit like Eddie Charlton Old men with a lot of hair just never never quite works, does it? It either makes you look like a sex pervert, you know what I mean? Yeah. Or what I don't know, do you know what I mean? When you see an old face with a lot of hair, what does it make you think about it? Well it's not right, is it? You know, hair's meant the dissiping disappear the older you get. It's like a genetic freak kind of incident.
Starting point is 00:01:08 But that's the science, Andy. What I'm looking for is more of your personal experience. You see a bloke with an old face and a lot of hair. What do you think about that person? Well, cannot to be trusted, really. He he he. Not to be trusted. Not to be trusted.
Starting point is 00:01:23 Especially not Especially about the ferrous X. Definitely. What are you wearing medical? It looks like you're presenting it to me as a t-shirt but it hasn't really got like that color but what the fuck is this? It's just an as the t-shirt and as the white t-shirt. Was it multi-packed? Yeah. That yeah that was maybe 2 for 7 quid I think and what size did you choose? just ask it! extra large! what just XL?
Starting point is 00:01:52 just XL! not XL just XL! that's 3 XL! oh look! can you see? 3 XL! 3 XL! Can you see? 3xL 3xL Piss off
Starting point is 00:02:08 Wait, it's like you're working in a mortuary or something and it's off wasted Wait, yeah, because I've had it on a few times Ah, right, you're simple You don't have what, you, you, you, it's the no rocks you can go down on the river weir or whatever It's like, you're looking for it, the river bag, it give it a good scrub No, no, as for that stubble you've, I'm sorry to be clinic. I think the riverbank, give it a good scrub. No. No. As for that stubble, I'm sorry to be like being a bit negative with that.
Starting point is 00:02:30 What's that stubble about? It's just the isolation being. Great. I'll just have it shared for a few days. I'll let it all go. Why not? I'll share it with us. It's about two days away from being completely irritate and I'll share it often.
Starting point is 00:02:44 I'll live next door to the Bay King, King of Beards. What he does is, he'll have a shave and then for about four to six weeks he'll just grow it into a massive kind of Santa type neptune if you like, Bayard and then he just hacks it off again, starts again. Well to grow. As that. To grow a beard of that length in that amount of time, Andrew, what's the eating? Why a wool or something? I don't know how to know whether he's bearding it and some kind of compost juice over the night, or any sleeps, because there's a lot of growth.
Starting point is 00:03:15 It's abnormal, you could say. The old, sundlings. But extraordinarily impressive. Sundling growth juices. Do you know what I'm saying? You're quite lucky actually, Arakin. Living next to a Nehbrose, the Beard King, if that's this thing. I mean, it's a lot... It's not the only thing, I think he's probably got other things, but that's one of his things.
Starting point is 00:03:35 Is he a nice nuisance? No, he's all right. He's good, Nehbr. Does he use his GSEB in the middle of the night to attack to bear... In the middle of the night? To bury his... No, he does things in the garden now and again, but only during social acceptable hours. Things in the garden, what is he... Night 5?
Starting point is 00:03:52 Is he burying Todd in the garden? I don't think so. I think he builds things. Constructs things. There's a lot of woodwork involved, I think. Is he a lord? I can't see what it is. Is he a married? He's married? Yeah, kids, grandkids, family man. Yeah lovely fella. Yeah
Starting point is 00:04:07 So it's quite a contrast to you You try to you try to cast the kind of sinister aspect of all of this It's always the ones you least expect is that what you say. Well, that's what the saying it. He was such a lovely man Sit there your house. We give freaking wig on It's not a wig on the other I've grown my hair there you house we give freaking we got it's not a we got we have got I've grown my hair all right whatever okay I thought I'd start this week Andrew with a John Cooper Clark style poem what do you think of that good does that think it's picked me
Starting point is 00:04:35 interest yeah I'll have a listen to that got your son Lundjoice is flowing as it a little bit okay what's isolation theme yeah because John Cooper Clark would get to the number things wouldn't it you know I mean yeah of course you thought that my isolation poem I sit on my sofa remalting hand I guess through the window at the promised land vapors from me crotch bring me back to me chair I need more biscuits I need more eclairs I've been up for hours
Starting point is 00:05:09 but it's only after ten Watching escape to the country And dragons den The big men arrive and disturb my malaise I need more chocolate I need more mayonnaise I go to the kee to clear some space for the fritters and peanuts and kittling cake.
Starting point is 00:05:30 But the ball roll is empty and the tap is upstairs and need more digestives and need more eclairs. Thank you very much. What'd you think? That was really good. I really enjoyed that. We enjoyed that. This is very long words.
Starting point is 00:05:51 Do you fancy yourself as a bit of a port then? You think whenever it is you do now kind of goes tits up. I don't really like poetry, I don't understand it. I don't understand it when they do lines and they're like different lengths and there's no rhymes And then after line starts at the beginning But then goes over into the next line and I'm not sure why that works I just don't think it's a, I think it's got I am big pentamacr, isn't it? Well fuck, I don't know what that is.
Starting point is 00:06:17 But I mean what's the, what I'm saying is is what the point, right? So if you're in the football, if you're in the garden, you throw you'll add a ball, yeah Hmm, he has to catch it and it's falling in it You know, why would you want to say stuff to your kids? Like do you know I'm right? Whatever I'm sure there's a you're broken down poetry there quite quite nicely. I think yeah You've got a point. It's not as good as throwing a ball to your life That what you've said about a poetry. I know I must admit I've got a point. It's not as good as throwing a ball in your leg. Is that what you've said about a porter?
Starting point is 00:06:45 Oh, no, I must admit, I've never had much success with tennis. So, poetry might be better than tennis. Look, he's puttly's puttly, better than tennis. I don't know. Have you got a name for us? I feel like I need a name. I've got a selection of names for your meds. All right.
Starting point is 00:07:00 There's a chase theme, so I don't know what you think about that, like. A chase theme, I like that. So, the first offering is Ted Lester. Yeah. He's a red first farmer with a crush on Fiona Bruce. Interesting. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:15 Or you could be Wilson Stilton, obviously a jazz musician. He's a jazz guitarist, but he lost both his hands in a nitramore incident. You know that? Nitram nitramore sensitive you know that... Nitramore! Yeah you know that... Have you ever used nitramore Sunday? No. Do you know what it is?
Starting point is 00:07:33 It's a chemical. No. Oh it's a chemical that strips parents. Oh I thought you meant like an incident that I'm at night that was like remorseful. Something that he'd done. No it's the put it's an ass... I don't know. Like sulfuric acid thing.
Starting point is 00:07:46 But hold on, you could be edam fantastic, yeah. I like that. You like that, don't you? In your extra large off-white as detisha, you'd see me tits just perk up there. You see that? Yeah, you think you're edam fantastic. He's got, the only thing I tell you about him
Starting point is 00:08:05 is his silver cowboy boots have a hidden compartment. Yeah, sword. Sword, sword, I'll take it. All right, he done take it. How are you doing? I'm like, I'm like, if it cheers me Twitter down with that. And we're talking about isolation and all that.
Starting point is 00:08:22 You know, all of these online YouTube PE lessons that all the celebrities are doing and stuff to keep it will active and get them moving. Yeah, bless them. Well, Mark, Lawrence has been doing one. Oh really? One of them, because you know, he's a fresh footballer, obviously a fitfeller. And I've got the audio for it, because obviously we can't sing it. Right here.
Starting point is 00:08:42 But it was on YouTube, but I'll have a listen to that, shall we? I'm Mark Lawrence, and this is my daily online exercise class. I want you all to mime along to the actions as I announce them. Hopefully we'll all feel a little bit better by the end of it. Here we go. Jet wash the deck in. Get the best of hot chocolate, see day out of its box. Rummage around in the kitchen drawer for the spare fuses. Chat to a bee while you're watching the bod. High there little chap has your day.
Starting point is 00:09:26 Bleed the sitting room radiator. That's it go on bleed it bleed it bleed it. Run a back I'll come back every five minutes to check on it. Log on and take a look at your credit rating. Go on, click, stare, click, stare, pick up a frozen pea. Hold it to the light for examination. Don't ask me why it's just a thing I like to do. There you go. That's my exercise as per today. I hope that was not too exhausting for you. And that you are feeling ready to attack the day as Gary Neville
Starting point is 00:10:07 sometimes says. It's time for a nap now I think thank you. Very nice mark. There we are, Mark Lawrence, and some lore level movements you can do there. Yeah, any movements better than normal, isn't it? Got a bit, isn't it? Yeah, it's kind of bath. Especially when, yeah, EG running a bath, it's best to serve the taps.
Starting point is 00:10:27 Ben, do you want to tap some? Not easy, it's kind of like your gorilla, isn't it? Your hot bath man, or a medium hot? Oh, hot bath mate. Really hot, like. Oh. Hot is angstand. Oh really?
Starting point is 00:10:39 Yeah. Oh yeah, I like the feelers I'm going to pass out when I have a bath. Yeah. So you come out. But you, I grew up. You just did stuff like about five inches that just sit in it. No, what I like to do is I have a... Touched your chest. I go, I enter into quite a local on bath, right?
Starting point is 00:10:58 That's what I enter. But it's not a... Submerge yourself. Not a full depth, Andy. And then... Have you got a walking buff? No, it's a drop in, a drop in from the ceiling. It's, it's, it's,
Starting point is 00:11:11 Get into a harness and get loaded with it. And then I add terrifically hot water. Yeah. Yeah, and it just gets hotter and hotter and hotter till like, yeah. So I am a hot bath man, but with that little detail of a, I enter it. You like to feel, yeah. You like to but with that little detail of a I feel yeah you like feel as if you're like a frog being boiled in a pot exactly that and so
Starting point is 00:11:31 listen up I have got a quiz for you Andrew of you yeah what do you think about that wasn't expecting that coming by but yeah well you know the unexpected that's what you need in this isolation because everything's just the fucking same in it day after day. But then some... I like it. So it's... It's a good... It's calorific, Vallejo, Andrew.
Starting point is 00:11:53 All right. Okay. It's snacks. Just snacks, but our thought was quite interesting, right? Strong on snacks, yeah. I think you'll be strong, but it's tricky tricky, right? It's called Pap-Balling Thwack-What's it? Pee-Nots!
Starting point is 00:12:13 Pap-Wowser-Cuevers Oh yeah Munch Crunch-Pap-Crisp-Skills So it's simply standard bags. What's its quaver? Walkers baked, ready salted. It was the planest one I could find. Highest to lowest or vice versa.
Starting point is 00:12:40 Colorific value. What's its quaver's? Ready salted walkers. And they're baked, did you see the way down? I did write the title down on them. Walkers baked, ready salted. Because that makes a difference if they're baked. Does it? Yeah, it just looks like a standard pack in the picture, but off you, I picture but off you I like you thinking I like you thinking okay okay a bit of confusion there I reckon highest is going to be what's it okay then second will be the walkers baked and the lowest calorific content belongs to the Quarvers, I think. One right, Andrew. Oh!
Starting point is 00:13:27 There you go. Honestly, don't beat yourself up by the most. It seems obvious. The most with 107 calories per packet is the Quaver. No way. Fuck it, wait. But they're so light and they just dissolve in your mouth. Obviously, greasy bastards.
Starting point is 00:13:46 You were correct with the crisps there in the middle at 98. And the kindest calorie wise is the what's it at 95? Really? Did you enjoy that, Andrew? I did. I learned something and I got the juices floor in a bit competitively. There you go, then. You know, you've been listening to part buying, let me just a bit competitively. There you go then. You know that's something.
Starting point is 00:14:05 You've been listening to part-buying just a little more time. Snack special. So Andrew, what? Peter Wadley sent me is isolation, sort of blogs, whatever. A little bit of a warning. It's long, he's obviously had a shit. He's had a lot of time on his hands
Starting point is 00:14:26 So I might split it up All right, Bob Just thought I get in touch and tell you how me isolation It's going like you know maybe Pass on a few tips about cor with me, like you know, because obviously I've had an experience, I've been on the on fire, oh good well, do their trouble with their fallen landstakes. I think number one, most important thing is to learn to enjoy having a good stare about that thing.
Starting point is 00:15:07 A good place to start is to stare at the condoms of a drawer. For example, your condom is and tight, then you're like, are we red-naped wallet? Yeah! Try to remember the exact position and number of the individual pieces. After you, uh, done this for a while,
Starting point is 00:15:42 your song line at the real pleasure is in the actual staring and not the remembering. Your love, Bob, life is not the competition with other people, or even yourselves, you've got to live in the moment. If you don't, you can literally drive yourself mad. Don't do it. Good beginners, stairs are undoubtedly the one the banister from above and below. Close-up stair at an area of grass, age 8, their verge of adjacent to a foot.
Starting point is 00:16:28 Watch out though, if you're a beginner, because trains are a bit tricky. Too much going on and too many commons and goons to the north. The contents of your fridge are good, as long as it hasn't got one of those like beep beep beep alarms on it like you know. Anyway, the other day it locked down. I was upstairs in the spare room and the good old upstairs at my bare ass in the mirror when the wife shouted up. Peter, get out of here now, you spooky fucking clown and kid my egg-harder. Oh yeah, just got me in the room. So I got a little hair TV where I'm like, hello darling, I would love it to see you and what egg-tos-it that UV choir. God fucking dialing me, you little fucking graveyard creeper.
Starting point is 00:17:27 I'll require the soft boiler and poochy combo with a 4 gun punky egg on top. Get charged. Okay, off your wish is my acumen. So I went to the kitchen, I opened a fridge door. Oh Bobman, it was a terrible terrible sight, there was only one egg left. I rushed to pantry and checked on the shopping bags, no eggs, and then I looked at the receipt from the test girl block that delivered the shopping night before and he said the following items have been substituted. You ordered 10 dozen eggs. We have substituted with the following.
Starting point is 00:18:15 150 lovins LCD lightbulbs. I've got shit, I thought shit, this is growing up, me and I'm near to a war with a wife for showing. I went back in Erdo, not love, I saw terribly terribly sorry, to have to report that we only have one egg left. Unfortunately, last night's delivery substitute is eggs for light bulbs. You fucking what? You fucking what? Why did you not check and open point the delivery you added useless fuck and spoon? Sorry to have looked, there is no need to panic. I'll drive to the supermarket right now and get used. You're not allowed out you're dosing fuck on bollocks and if they didn't have any deliver then I doubt
Starting point is 00:19:13 they will have any in the shop fuck and think about it forrest fuck and lump yeah pass me me phone I'll ring up the corner shop. I'll show you I got the corner shop like. Oh hello there Mr Thompson. This is Mrs. Beatery. I wonder if you could for help me. You see my dosy husband forgot to check the shop and list last night and didn't realize we've been left short on the for her neck front. Yes he is a right dozy prick.
Starting point is 00:19:47 I thoroughly forkern egg ray. So I just wondered if you'll have any eggs in stock. Oh, that's great. I'll send him round now on his kiddies for homebife. He's got about ten dozen left. So you'll get there round there now from where you slacked for and wonder. Oh hello brother, I will do and you want me to go on the little kid's bicycle, yeah?
Starting point is 00:20:16 Yes I don't. Then if you get stopped you can see it's for an exercise. I'm just saying I don't mean anything by it but I think I'll be okay in the car there because I've got an extra essential phone purchase, you know. Pay there, you sad, sad, empty, fucking ball bag. Of course they are essential to me but a lot of people would consider them a luxury and are'm not taking the chance of my fucking henjulery being confiscated I got a little bike and I went down to the listed something shop and I think I'll take a break from it there Andrew. Lee's paper runs where at the shopping we'll see what happens a little bit later, yeah? Oh, can we have the rest of it in this episode though? Yeah, yeah, definitely.
Starting point is 00:21:11 No worries, it's just it's so fucking long, you know what? Oh, so Andy about, I don't know, about a week before we were all isolated up our pot into slot as restaurant. All right, and the palace got you missing that here. Yeah, for I'm missing it. Yeah, Jesus me meet it. Adrian Lewis was there. He just heading in just before me actually. So I snuck in and got the boom right next to him so I could listen in. Well, business as usual actually, so first thing, the person who sport was a waiter. Good afternoon sir, would you like your regular seat? We've added a couple of gullies to it, to drain off your excess sweat into. Oh, folk folk, very thoughtful of you, yes.
Starting point is 00:22:06 What happens there with the captured sweat? It gets recycled back into the cooking process, sir. Oh, ingenious, ingenious, but isn't that cannibalism? Probably, sir, yes. Good, good, fucking good, just checking. Very good, sir. Right, well, let's get a fucking fart on that. I haven't got to hold it. What am I start, just checking. Very good sir. Right, well let's get a fucking fart on that. I haven't got old there, what a me starter option.
Starting point is 00:22:30 You can have a choice between a pint of blue bottles that have been fried with a run of crags, a legal 5G mast. Oh, it's like you've been reading my emails. Oh, caramelized slices of snake neck, served in a baguette. Baguette, folk, what for? Why you trying to smuggle bread inside my guts? Come, the folk, down sir. It's actually just a hollowed out rat. Oh, folk, that's my like it. Give me that and the other thing that I've already forgotten about. I can feel my glands pulsating already. Very good sir. Would you like to hear to tears, means? No, not really, but I know you've got a job to do.
Starting point is 00:23:12 Hey, you can choose between courage, buffalo, trotters, that have been tossed together in a culinary cement mixer, with some miscellaneous brains. Mmm, fork, oh, I'm not sure about that. Brens tend to make me very billious. So, fuckin', sorry about that. What else have you got you to add? Fish fingers. Fish fingers, fork off.
Starting point is 00:23:38 Oh, you, fork off. What special about fish fingers? They're just monkey fingers, but the bingolars didn't shark you right? Oh right I suppose that'll do that'll do and then Adrian insisted on speaking the run crags they had chef you know so eventually Ron came out. God what is this this is the best way to walk her in part and I'm busy out the back side when trapped by cookler fighting squiddles. Sorry, Ron, I just wanted to thank you for the newly modified drainage system in me,
Starting point is 00:24:12 say, to be up-flocking problem, fat lad. I've got an inculable obsession with liquid displacement systems, watching it all on C-C-C-T where you keep me balanced. Come here, Ron. And they had a really long cuddle and it was really lovely. And I think I think I saw Ron lick Adrian's neck. So I thought, you know what, I reckon it's time to leave. So I did Have you noticed that you've seen that clip Andy of Adrian Lewis talking about slaughters? No. Does a clip of him, yeah. Really? You know search it out.
Starting point is 00:24:53 It's a clip of him saying that he doesn't eat like what the say that we say he eats. Really? I've never seen it. I promise you. I'll have to have a look for that. That's nice, isn't it? Public Cuddlin, do you remember that? to have a look for that. Yeah, um, that's nice. So isn't it public Kudland? Remember that yeah, you remember that thing? Yeah, I mean, well, uh, speaking of which I was up the as the other day, you know, yeah,
Starting point is 00:25:13 getting some of me essentials in one of me essential shops, weird atmosphere. Have you been up to soap market? Yeah, I haven't I just go me a little car in shop. You just stand in. Yeah. God, weird at total silence, you know, it's like everyone's trying to dodge zombies and some kind of like computer game or something. People are about masks on, scarves over their mouth. I've got a scarf now, aware of them being mouthed. People are in gloves, a lot. Anyway, get at the point, I'll find some chocolate chip muffins, you know, a little treat
Starting point is 00:25:40 for myself, why not? Keep the tits in shape. I got to the shelf and there was just one box of them left. I see this at the block at the corner of me eye, coming in the same direction and I think he was warming in on. Yeah, he's after them as well. But I got there first, picked them up, put them in me trolley and I heard this noise and it was like,
Starting point is 00:26:00 Woooow! Woooow! And I looked round under this fella. I thought it was a footstep. Is it that one? Well I thought it was something like that. He's got a musk on over his mouth and his nose. And he's got, woooow! Woooow!
Starting point is 00:26:13 Really angry eyes. Yeah. Staring at us. So I sort of moved back because he was getting within two meters. And he rips his face musk off. Yeah. And he got the tiniest mouth they've ever seen and his lips were purged into a little tiny orship
Starting point is 00:26:28 alright like the size of a spaghetti hoop almost alright and his mouth it was the awe in the words wash your hands which he had tattooed right across where his mouth should be also he's like public servant, public man kind of, kind of, I was startling. And you know what I did when I got home, first thing I did? Wash your cock. That was the car, Bob. That washed me hands.
Starting point is 00:26:55 Did you? Yes, it worked. No, do you think that was an unusual incident? Well, I don't believe it. I've done that. So what? I'm telling you I did. No, I don't believe it. I've done no. So what I'm telling you did. No, it didn't. I'm telling you that it did. Did. No, it didn't. Yeah. So what's he not what's he known as the supermarket hooty? I've never encountered him before. Well, if it happened, Andrew, it's a very unusual incident. It did happen. I'm telling you. incident. It did happen. I'm telling you. What do you do with your groceries when you get them off? You know like packaging. Do you spray it all? You wash it? What do you do? I've just changed them in acid. Pure acid. Pure acid, yeah. Nitramore's the thing about. That's the safest, didn't it? Yeah, night remorse. Yeah. I've got a... There's no remorse with night remorse. I've got a spray, you know, like, debt all of, like, I don't know whether I believe in it really. But it's good.
Starting point is 00:27:45 That's the thing though, it's peace of mind, doesn't it? Peace of mind, yeah. You know what I mean? That's what I'm talking about. What have you been watching TellyWars? I'm watching about eight to ten hours a day, I'll be honest. I haven't got time. I've been doing loads of work.
Starting point is 00:27:58 It feels like I'm doing loads of work. I'm not really watching a lot of Telly. Well, like every manual work. Not manual work. I'm not really watching a lot of Telly. I'm not got time, I've done loads of work, it feels like I'm doing loads of work. I'm not really watching a lot of telling. Well, I every manual work. Not manual work, not podcasting. You know, I do another podcast.
Starting point is 00:28:12 Yeah. Top-flight timersheet, give it a plug there, it's very funny. Does it come with a try, boys and girls? Well, I have heard, I keep reading that the people should, I think they said, deep dive into, is it the Roy Keane sections or something? We did Roy Keane's second autobiography over like seven episodes.
Starting point is 00:28:32 So what episode numbers are there? You should say, we love that. Well, so point people to them what episode numbers are there? Well, we do like five episodes a week, pretty much so it's like a daily radio show almost. So it's miles and miles, but I'll do a link for it on Twitter. I can have a listen. Yeah, I, I think you should have said so look I'll tell you what I'd like to update you on I mentioned last week I was getting into
Starting point is 00:28:52 Curb your enthusiasm, yeah You did you like you like it, don't you? Yeah, I love curb your things. Yeah, can I ask you something because I started to go off it a bit towards the end And I can't quite put this into the correct words but he's a pretty old man, yeah? I believe he's 74 now or something so he's 70 or whatever, 72 when he was doing them and I'm finding it a little bit creepy and I'm finding it a little bit uncomfortable to watch because he's forever, you know, talking about knockers and not much younger women and I'm sorry, I don't know what the cut-off point is, but I think it is age. It's not sitting nice, see where me, I gotta be honest.
Starting point is 00:29:38 I agree, it's one of the less seabree elements of it and it kind of hit the 9 series, it kind of dipped a bit, but I think the one we've just hit the 9 series, it kind of dipped a bit but I think the one that just done the 10 series was a bit of a return form even though there was somewhere that kind of a low level creepiness in it as well but you know, that's perfect, is it? Well it's just such a not odd one that you know. Yeah. But anyway they go, I've watched the Sinatra documentaries on the iPlayer. I enjoyed them. They're good for Sinatra.
Starting point is 00:30:09 Yeah, that's really good. I've seen that before. That's good. It's not spectacular. Or anything at all. But if you like his music and stuff, it's entertaining, isn't it? I'm strong. There's a couple of good footy-related things that's on Ivy Hub as well.
Starting point is 00:30:23 There's one about Euro 96. And there's also another another one about Admiral that used to do the football kits. Oh, and it's a good show. Story of Admiral. Yeah. You're recommending the memories both really good. I recommend both of those Ivy Hub for that, yeah. And Minder on Ivy for every day. Can't go wrong with a bit of Minder.
Starting point is 00:30:40 Fair enough. Fair enough. Now listen up. The I-O do we use someone who really liked homeland when it first came out never watched it never watched it well ours and then after about series four or five it I don't know it seemed to run out of steam but I'm watching the new series and it is absolutely terrific and I mean terrific you know like Tony the Tiger, terrific, honestly it's a roller coaster so I recommend that and the
Starting point is 00:31:13 other thing if you don't mind me saying, if you don't mind me saying Andy, you know the show I did gone fishing, yeah, well that's coming off I play it soon I think I don't really know but I think it's about to go and that's coming off, I play it soon, I think. I don't really know, but I think it's about to go. And I have to say that, I know I shouldn't say it. I think in terms of isolation, and yeah, I think it's a perfect bit of you in. I'll watch one the other day, and it is lovely seeing the rivers and the trees and the sounds. So I'm just giving you a nice, because it's about to go from, you know, it'll never be seen again.
Starting point is 00:31:46 It's kind of, I suppose it's kind of like in these times, it's a bit like one of those things where you watch a video of a fireplace. It's a fireplace. I like it. I like watching that and it reminds you of what outdoors and what you're missing out on possibly. Yeah, and the other thing is, is just mention Ozark quickly. It's not amazing. it's very solid. And in the most recent series,
Starting point is 00:32:08 they did the thing that's so rare is that it's got a great ending, which is so tricky. It's got very satisfactory ending. Does it finish now? Is it for good? You don't know. And to say so might even be a spoiler, I don't know, Andrew Andrew whether it's finished or not
Starting point is 00:32:26 Me son asked if I could plug the podcast that me and him do as well called beans on toast Okay, so there we go Well done to him. He's a nice lad in he's just he is a like him Let's get back to where he wassley was. He was just about to go up the shop wasn't he? So I got on the little bike and went down and missed it Thompson shop. When I got there I saw something quite beautiful in the hot food cabinet. It was a thick, thick, lumpy, lumpy chicken wrap. A lovely lumpy chicken was spilling out of the end of the wrap and my mouth began to walk like a sand-burning in a sauna.
Starting point is 00:33:21 You look like a lot of you like the look of that chicken wrap, Peter. Oh Mr. Thompson, yeah very much folk and though it's like watching a living still from the greatest movie ever made. Rambo of first blood pathway. Yeah and have it if you have one Peter, no one's coming in buying from the hot cabinet. It'll just get lobbed in the bin leg. Oh, it's not your Mr. Thompson. I would love that. Do you mind if I eat it on the wall outside? So I can have a stare at your face in on the flat roof opposite. I hear that's fine. So I thought I'd check it right outside and took a really big bite from the blunt end.
Starting point is 00:34:09 Just as my teeth were sinking into a particularly lovely chicken lump, Mrs Pearson, one of our never-sake, walked into the shop. Hello Mrs Pearson! Hello Peter! Looks like a nice wrap. Hi, it's Mrs. Payson. It's an absolute full and built. Well I finished the wrap and went back into the shop. But to my heart there was now only one box of eggs left. Missy Thompson, where have all the eggs gone?
Starting point is 00:34:50 Oh, Missy, Mrs. Pearson brought them all. She's gonna cook a massive omelet and give it out to the homeless leg! Oh my God! How the omelet is all right, go back real early eggs. Well, I kept the box back for you, Peter. Your wife said on the floor, she needed eggs like... Yeah, that's kind of you, Tomo. But the wife needs a couple of boxes a day.
Starting point is 00:35:15 I mean, the very, very deepest of all the deep shit bits. Sorry about that, Peter. You should have said when you first came in like. So I think on this first as I could hope to catch up with Mrs. P.F.M. but she was nowhere ever seen. This was very bad, very bad indeed you know. I don't mind telling you Bob that I was in fear for my life. I that very age being lumped in the head so I had that I Straddling the tall bridge on the safe and in fear Quietly go back in the house. I can hear you creepin about get me with my eggs. You fucking bought a shite
Starting point is 00:36:03 Get near with my eggs, you fucking bort a shite! Err, errr, errr, I'm just going to watch the answer of you know, cause of the following germ like, never mind that mock, get near with my eggs! So, I went in home with the one box of eggs I had bought. Is that it? One fucking box! He said he had about ten dozen! Err, errr, no of that, this was all that he had. As since Fokken Shenanigans here, I bet you've funny about staring at shit,
Starting point is 00:36:32 or went off another sneaky Fokken chicken wrap, or worse still spent all the money on Chuddy. No, no, I promise I went straight to the shop, but it was all that they had. Right, well let's give Mr Thompson a ring shall we? Well, as she dialed her number, she's dead straight at me where she was. My skin began to freeze and my one good knacker ran up inside so you can start to devide your head. Err, hello, Miss Thompson.
Starting point is 00:37:08 It's Carol Hogan-Bader here again. I just wanted to inquire why my husband has earned his return with one box of eggs when you informed me you had about ten dozen of the focus. Oh, right. Oh, did he now? A chicken wrap, you say. Thank you, Mr. Thompson. You've been very, very, very awful. The wife rolled up their cardigan sleeves and walked towards me. I shut my eyes, expecting the worst like and then I hear you. You're a good lad, paper. I was wronged down here.
Starting point is 00:37:49 Mr. Thompson says a lady came in just before you got there and cleared him out of eggs. Said you were so upset that he had to give you a free check and wrap to calm down. He's getting the fresh delivery tomorrow and he he's gonna set aside ten dozen for us. He tried your best son. Would you like me to press me for these on the chest? Ah, yeah, yes please, you're... Oh, oh, oh, I'm so relieved then. God bless Mr Thompson, you know, one of his companies, amazing I mean, a small lot of shopkeepers. Anyway that
Starting point is 00:38:26 work was a share for you. Do you prefer to go up up up I got a couple of jokes from me or John, you know, try and cheer you up and that. What's the difference between a filthy bus that are and a lobster with breast implant. One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crusty station. I want to spend more time with my son like so. That way, and decided to wash the car rim. After five minutes though the cheeky bugrat if we could use a sponge instead
Starting point is 00:39:12 my optician my optician just told me that I am colorblind well I've got my telling you, Bob, that's come completely out of the green. Say you, Bob. One piece of bassy. Only one piece of bassy. One piece of bassy. Oh, well, that was a nice, I'm glad you ended up nice for me. Oh, Andy. It did. It got offered East Preston East Chest. know, what what can we ask for in these times? Yeah So that about it. That's about it I've a nice day in your t-shirt Andrew
Starting point is 00:39:56 Thanks. I'll go outside now for a little while. I think what why are you going outside? Guess what fresh air? Oh, you mean any guards at the back of me? I've been going at walking I', I've been walkin' for about four miles each day, Bob. Really? Can you believe that? Yeah, yeah. It's not showing, is it?
Starting point is 00:40:13 I'm suffering from that can't get anything done thing. You know, it's not so much time. There's no more aviation. Just can't get it done. But there you go. There you go, well. It's strange times, aren't there? Thanks everyone for listening, thanks Andy they are still safe everyone. See ya
Starting point is 00:40:39 you

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