Athletico Mince - Ep. 114 - Laughter Feels Good

Episode Date: June 1, 2021

An emergency BMLC meeting, Mick at the chippy, Lawro’s pasta, the White Harts convene, a DomPod, and Adrian Lewis rates his takeaway. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Ho...sted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello and welcome to the latest episode of Athletico Mins with me, Andrew Torson. I want you to picture yourself on a romantic trip to Venice with your partner. You're floating along in a gondola on a hot summer's day, taking in the sights, the sounds and the smells of one of the most unique cities on the planet. You almost feel as though you're living in some kind of vivid dream. But then a spluttering knackered old jet ski crashes into the side of the boat. The gondolae falls into the water, a reeking potato-shaped individual clambers on board and shouts, here I brought your car nettle, I murdered a riverhole, I turned up with a big one but it probably tears as I ate alright if you give it a go up! it is sadly my co-host Mr Bob Mortimer
Starting point is 00:01:12 a Mr Mudman in retaliation ice cream scam a Mr Rubbert how we wish it stop it hello good morning, Bob. All right, how are you doing, our kid? Oh, all right, I've done well, okay. Thank you very much, how are you?
Starting point is 00:01:35 I'm all right. I have to mention my sadness on your behalf with Sunland, but there you go. You go, thanks. Thanks for reminding me that it's fine. we deserved nothing and that's what we got. True though, isn't it? True though, isn't it? True.
Starting point is 00:01:51 Well, I mean, you know, we were awful for most of the season, I only think the three days and games. I don't want to talk about football so much. Oh, okay. I don't think of it as three days and games. The rest of it was just, was just dross, but you know, what was it they say? They say we go again. Don't they say that again?
Starting point is 00:02:08 And this podcast goes again, and here we are. We, me son lost a very big fish yesterday. I was fishing with him. And I said, big lad, it wasn't. He lost it. I said, how would you feel about that? You think you'll ever go get over it? And he said those exact words.
Starting point is 00:02:25 He said, oh, well, we go again. That's beautiful. I thought I was wondering if he'd had made your turn in a summer, you know what I mean? Yeah. Did he use the word iconic a lot? Yeah. I had a little poem in from John Cooper Lockdown and Andy.
Starting point is 00:02:43 Oh, that's nice. Oh, come here. It's nice. How come we hear that? It's not something, isn't it? Yeah, what for? What for was that coming? It was sent to me just as what would you call it? Text. Visual virtual text.
Starting point is 00:02:52 Not a hard copy. Not a hard copy. Not a hard copy. Not a, not one to letter, so it was an email. An email, you've got a print it out of here. No, I've got it on the screen here. Okay. Erie goes, all right, you ready? Yeah. I'll sit it on with me tracks out on.
Starting point is 00:03:09 The gusset is low, the older is strong. I eat a yoghurt straight from the pot with the finger I just used to pick out some snot. I wipe my hand on the arm of the chair. A bit of half-tools, raspberryfree gets in a tear. I poke at it with me bookies pen, but it just sinks in further like a startled wren. I get on all fours, plus me lips round the tear, I film me lungs with the fetted lounge air. I suck on the rip like it's a McDonald's straw, and out pops upon cracker from 2004. A hint of its flavor still remains, Enhanced by a blast of chicken shop drains.
Starting point is 00:03:54 I crave another shrimp and poultry hit, so I pull at the tear and give it a lip. I dismantle the chair, but there's no more crackers. Now I'm sat on the floor licking daily re-wrappers. I'm locked down galley. How do you do? Are you used to mix pants at being cute? So nice of him to send them in. That was lovely, lovely update there. Yeah. How'd you pitch your lock down galley? Gary Slender? I just picked you, it just looks like John Cooper Clark. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. There's nothing else to add to that. I have
Starting point is 00:04:31 a couple of names for you, if you would like consider them. First one is perpetual Leslie. He goes and goes and goes and goes. That's all I've got to about him. Or you can be the human pill. That's all I've got to about him. Or you can be the human pill. He is a man who is trying to turn himself into a tablet and eventually become the first person in the world to swallow himself. So you can be him. I quite like.
Starting point is 00:04:54 What was it, but petrol? Peptual Leslie. Yeah. Or the human pill. Constantly wrong. Just constant, just goes and goes and goes and cannot be stopped. Or he can of course be honky chunk I'll be honky chunk thank you
Starting point is 00:05:09 all right fair enough fair enough fair enough fair enough the um I was going to offer you the trapeza artist formerly known as quince nice um used to be able to hang from a tree for months on end but eventually fell like all his predecessors on end but eventually fell like all this pre-decesses. He burns her romantic images in the wood offcuts using sparklers. You're not tempted? No, I like it. Is that it? Any others? You can be normal, normal little bottles, the third. One of the three legendary little bottles that through horsemucker, a of Lloyd's bank in the 1980s. Yeah, my boy. His hair transplant is hanging on in there.
Starting point is 00:05:49 Just, you know what, I'm going to be him. No, my little bottles are there. Norman, hello Norman, how are you doing? So, Andrew, Badger, Badger Infinity Rocket Plastics, managed what he calls, it's one of those phrases from the industry, a monkey hump onto the router at Big Sam Alladaises House last week and got us a recording of an emergency zoom meeting at the British Managers Lunch Club. Oh good So we have that. Oh please. Yeah You know, I just play it to M in MP4 format if a people are interested in that kind of thing
Starting point is 00:06:35 Good evening gentlemen. What do we want? Money What do we want it for? out What do we want it for? N O T! As in Andrew, they want to do now for the money. Yeah of course. You know what I mean. That's for explaining that. Right, thank you for attending at such short notice, but I thought you would like to hear the news before the Folk at West Brom do. Here you go. Tomorrow I complete my destroy an exit at the Albion. I'm handing in my resignation and leaving with a superb record of failure and distress. I'm ready to seek out and rinse
Starting point is 00:07:14 the next club that offers me a job. Money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, run it! and they all lick their lunch club badges. Steve McClaren chips in. Oh that's such good new Sam and it's just a shame that there was no fans in the stadium this season to suffer the shit you served up. Very regretful indeed. Now listen, once the news breaks I need as all to be singing from the same pressure, right? So keep it simple, blend the lack of support from the German, the attitude of the players, the previous managers transfer, policy and expectations be too high, maybe mention the inexperience of the squad.
Starting point is 00:08:00 You are not a mantra, so stick to it. Now, as a special treat, I'd like to invite into the meeting, here he comes a very old friend of mine, Mr. Roy Otsun, who hasn't proposed or supported us, all right. Oh, so, most of you looking so magnificent, sitting at the ground or gulfing at the table, or vericifies. Sorry, Roy, you've lost me there.
Starting point is 00:08:24 Is all over! What? All over! I think he's saying where's my mama? Oh, I miss my mum so much, Roy, and it doesn't get any easier, you know? All over! Oh, alright, Roy, let's move on. Let's move on to Crystal Palace.
Starting point is 00:08:42 I see you've finally given them the boat after draining the very soul of the club bon dry. What made you pack it in? Well, very simple. About two weeks ago, the club completed a complete refurbishment of a ballroom. Oh, did you get new carpets? That should be the centerpiece of any refurbishment. Listen up, I've got a little song. Whether it's
Starting point is 00:09:05 Worsted patent play in our striped, a car pit makes you room look nice, never skimp on quality, and always by your warranty accidents do happen. Alright stay safe, right you were saying. Oh yeah, now during refurbishment the ball drum table which previously measured 6 foot by 4 foot was replaced with a 10 foot by 5 foot unit totally inappropriate for all of them. Oh was that an air quick and an whip it with a sparkler at my toes? Honestly, 10 foot by 5 foot, oh they figure I am, a scenery junkie.
Starting point is 00:09:42 So are you looking for a new club to stagnate and deflate? No, I've got a coach strike or wall however, I've got a tag ammo match on next month, me and Big Tech A versus Ed Ross Townsend, Wolfs are her. The tag format means we can deploy both folks and us warriors, so I'll be honest, it should be fucking carnage. Townsend's got to deploy his fancy pants pulses, but they don't match for a brutality. I've got ten thousand quid rusting on the match.
Starting point is 00:10:10 Easy, easy, easy, easy. Money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, shh. Ah, well, good luck with that Roy. Now, what was this proposal you said you had? Oh, look, that, yeah. I wondered if Steve and Wade Rudy wanted to have a stab at the palestop. I could put in a word for him. Oh, that's very kind, Roy. Like a kind young boy helping a pensioner to find a banana he's lost,
Starting point is 00:10:43 or to cross the road to the chemists for his syrup of figs. What do you reckon Wade? Well, you know it's something but I don't want to pledge you just a cash payout I'll get when Darby can read a boot of Christmas. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da It's a good point Wade and don't forget that next season, fun and laughter bars will have an exclusive concession at the Derby Stadium. If it's like a chocolate kiss from a new-gate prince, isn't that right, Casper?
Starting point is 00:11:16 Baggon. I can lean, I'm rotten, she and I can sit too hot, very very hot, so hot that you need a sub at the base of your ass crack, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Fuck you, I'm a freak out, I'm not doing the job, I might even stay on his false director or some such shit as long as I get that old bullroom table back. Well, that's fair enough. Thank you. Now Mark, Mark, who's, isn't it time you got back into the gravy job? What's going on?
Starting point is 00:11:55 Well, you know, I'm going to lock down and sales of my, you know, a new plywood thigh boots for saucy pensioners, you know, they've hit rock button to be honest. Ha ha ha, bottom, did you hear that cast, spent like us? You were. No, you were. I said it first. Oh, you cheeky bonkers, for so you did. Oh, so I was, I'm wondering, right, you know,
Starting point is 00:12:26 or do you think you could maybe put a word in for me at the palace? No, Josh, I want them to slowly rot and reverse and I'm fucking in ploughed. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha I love this lunch club, I love this lunch club more than the horses laugh the feels good. That's it, that's it. I'm so lovely. I've enjoyed that very much. You got a quiz for me.
Starting point is 00:13:01 I have got a quiz for you. Go on then. I'm gonna I'm gonna continue to Drain the life out of moth or not moth Good. Well, there's a little twist at the end this week, which you might like or might not Moth or not moth. I'm gonna give you the names of five moths or they might not be moths You've got to tell me moth or not moth. Here we go. Okay, go on. Coming right up. Number one, the icy jester. Is it a moth or is it not a moth? Not moth.
Starting point is 00:13:29 No, it's not a moth. You're right. Got the right. Number two, oak processionary moth or not moth? Moth. Buh, yeah. It's a moth. You're f**k sick.
Starting point is 00:13:40 Have you been swatting up on moths? No. You sure? It's not even. Number three, pretty pinion. Mting up on moth, no, he's shower. It's not even. Number three, pretty pinion, moth or not moth. Moth. RAAA! Yes, that's a moth.
Starting point is 00:13:52 Look before, figure of 80. Moth or not moth? Not moth. Get in, that's a moth. RAAA! Finally, 100% record of godness is really matter of this one. Finally, what forest favourite? Moth or not Moth?
Starting point is 00:14:09 Forest favourite. Forest favourite. Not Moth. Yeah, that's not Moth. Forest favourite. One away from being like a supreme being. There's a little tie breaker for you though. Go on then.
Starting point is 00:14:22 Don't even relate to the Moths. When my dog Oscar urinated on the decking out the back, how many times does the urine touch one or more of his feet? Is it here? 10% be 25% or see 50% 50? It's 25. So the typewriter and the rules of moth or not moth mean that your edtier victory is no null and void. As you feel, no that seems very fair Andy. Yeah, I'm sorry. Well that's the rules. Do you wipe Oscar's fate before he comes back in?
Starting point is 00:14:55 No. I don't, I don't think any dog on a wood. Is it unusual thing Andy? I was in Wales last week with the family, I have no little holiday, you know, and there was a little village near where we were staying at at a chip shop. All right, and one evening I went down there to get chips up for the family, you know, and I was at the doorway, there's one of the fellers in there, I was at the doorway doing that, the social distance thing. Yeah. And this bloke was ordering his foot at the counter, and this is what I heard, right?
Starting point is 00:15:31 Mmm. Oh much, his cod and busted chips! Six pounds ten pens! Tee-hee-hee! Six pounds ten busted pens! You're robbing busted! What's the ten bastard pence for? The bastard fin!
Starting point is 00:15:49 There's no fin on a cut forlitzer! Is that what? Oh, clever bastard, are you? And could you keep your language down for the other customers, please? Now, Mick, this point's earned and looked at me. Oh. Have you all got a bastard problem with my bastard language? You fact shot, bald and busted. No, a fan by me, I said. Yeah. How much is Savaloy and
Starting point is 00:16:12 Busted Chips? Four pounds. I'll give you three Busted Quid, that's the first and final Busted of an offer. Done auction, host sir. The prices are fixed. What kind of Busted of an offer Don't auction ho, sir. The prices are fixed What kind of bastard chip shop is this? These prices are those of a bastard only a bastard repair them. What's up to you, sir? Tall bastards, right it is. How much of a is a bag of bastard chips? Yeah, bastard of a man Two pounds or two pounds thirty for a large bag. That's bastard's statement, that is. Where'd you get your bastards spud from the Israel iron us, the joker bastards? You won't find them anywhere cheaper anywhere else in post. Then powers will follow bastards with more money than bastards since. I'll take
Starting point is 00:17:02 a standard bastard portion of chips have you got any bastard ketchup? Also just ordinary tomato 10 PSASHI I have to pay for it bastard ketchup tomato Do you see what I'm trying there Andy? You know, it's bastard to my nuts, it's bastard ketchup, no it's tomato ketchup. Oh yeah. Do you do that a bit again? No, it probably just doesn't work, never mind.
Starting point is 00:17:33 You know what, you can stick your bastard chips up your bastard shitter. I'll go to a little and buy some bastard crinkle cuts. Okay sir, will that be all? No, one more thing. What's that sir? You're busted. You chips are bastard. Your fish is all who fit for bastards and your prices are an exercise in Buster's a good busted by As he passed me I said I am Nick and he replied what right? Have you all got to speak to me? You're busted man
Starting point is 00:18:03 I said I'm not I'm so sorry, Nick. your bastard man? I said I'm not an I'm so sorry Mick What are you? I said I'm a bastard. So busted right with a bastard in each pocket and a log of bag of busters on your back Check care now son So that was something As you might know on our Athletical Passing of Borners episode available at patreon.com Socks Athletical means, listeners, subscribers can send in questions and one of them recently was Christopher Ins who asked if Martin Lorenzo could list his top 10 pastor shapes so I've asked Mark to do that for us. I'd like to hear that, yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:47 I'm a Laurence, and there's my top 10 pasta shapes, number 10 Lingguini, number 9, that little one that looks like a wagon wheel, number 8, per A, reliable, but quite dull. Number 7, Blizzanier Shade. Sometimes I know on these and blame my house rabbit for the annoying. Number 6, Rigger Tony. Number 5, Pastor Bo Tai. Quite a jock you'll have find. Number 4, Pastor C. Shell. The Vodka Tiv. Number 3, Angel Hair pastor, so delicate on the tongue. Number two, Raviyoli, the pastor shape, with a meaty surprise within. Number one, of course, alphabetical spaghetti, straight from the tin.
Starting point is 00:19:36 Thank you, those are my top 10 pastor shapes. That's nice, I'm allowed to do that. Not a bad choice. Yeah, you enjoyed that, I think. That's nice and loud to do that. Not bad choice. Yeah, you enjoyed that I think. Hey, that was welcome along to my library. You know, the dumb pod, the podcast presented by myself. Sorry, dude.
Starting point is 00:19:54 I've been introduced to you. They'll speak to you. I've been introduced to you. Sorry. You got that? Sorry. Yeah. All right.
Starting point is 00:20:03 Welcome along. It's a podcast where I talk to one of my different celebrity pals every week. And this week, what's special guest is retired celebrity Mr. Boboah. Hello Bob, you can speak now. Okay, thank you, hello, Dom, thanks for having us. Yeah, are you well?
Starting point is 00:20:17 Yeah, thanks a lot. Good, good, continue. Bob, do you ever wonder about a future of mankind? No, not really. I mean, I worry a bit about AI and that, but not really. What's that in? Artificial intelligence. I thought only thinking about it. Could you explain that further? How's that work? Come on, it's supposed to be a conversation. You know, the idea is that the computers will take over the world and know what have any need for humans or they'll
Starting point is 00:20:47 Destroy it. I said ridiculous. It was going to present consumer programs on don't I believe they say one if the bloody robots is running everything Robot robot dumb. I ain't gonna happen forget that pal. I'll change the subject Do you ever go with few houses this for sale when you got now attention by it? Nope. Just for something to do. No I never do that. Oh you sure it's really good. I do it right but I pretend that I'm alien but in human form and these state agents got no idea what's going on. It's a good power plan. I love it. You never tried it. You do you tell the estate agent you're an alien? I you just think it's You just fun just imagine myself being an alien
Starting point is 00:21:29 Don't I'm assuming shit. I'm assuming for when I'm acting like a human But the fella doesn't know I'm actually an alien plus I thought what a party. Yes. It's great If it gets you through the viewing, you know good Well done, um, you should give it a try. I'm really, it feels the afternoon. I'll tell you that. I've just got to stop for about if doing a sponsorship thing I'll do it about.
Starting point is 00:21:52 But it's podcasting. It's brought to you in a South-Caisie with... It could chips. Ooh, it can chips. Right, we're back now. Uh, I got no more questions. Sorry, I thought that was enough. I thought I should have got that more question, sorry. I thought that was not... I thought I should have put that in a bit earlier.
Starting point is 00:22:09 Nah, I just couldn't figure out the answers and the mankind thing. Do you want to tell you more about, obviously, tellages? Well, it's the development, a lot of Steven Orkins thinks it might take over the world in about 2035, so it's not that long. Blahley Noah, I could say they might do it in F1, driverless cars in F1, that will be something, maybe the drivers would be controlling them with a little them, then we'll have a travel things with the two sticks, one for forwards and backwards and one for side to side on the side of the track. I don't think it's presence in F1 is the problem. It's the fact that we might all die,
Starting point is 00:22:50 you know, there be no human, no human's up. But you're more worried about F1, yeah? I think I think we're both agreeable, but we hope AI enhances F1, but it doesn't lead to the end civilization, does we know it? Can we agree rid of that? Yeah I'll start off with that. Okay, well thank you very much for joining me on the Dump Hood again. But well I will win it! It's a, I've just been a guest and the Undum little words podcast.
Starting point is 00:23:19 Oh yeah? Yeah it's good good good good. Yeah he did an add for egg and chips And he he was wondering about whether Artificial intelligence might start taking over the F1 Yeah, it says better than our podcast. Hey, I haven't I haven't had any chip shop chips for over a month Do I look as if I've lost a bit of weight look at me? You do actually, yeah, I don't know whether it suits you to be understanding Are you prefer me to be understanding.
Starting point is 00:23:45 Are you prefer me to be fat and unwell? Is that what you'd prefer? Well sometimes, you know, you look a bit salo, you look a bit... That should be more spherical and maybe a bit more jocular. Yeah, it's more fun that way, isn't it? A jolly fat man. MUSIC Gangs of the EPL well as you probably know Harry Kane's leaving the Tottenham hot spots and
Starting point is 00:24:19 he informed his teammates of this decision in the canteen at the journey ground and the year. Now, luckily for me, the nice lads from Infinity Rocket Plastics had hot curtained the Ethernet cables on the CCTV system. And so they were able to make a hot intercept of the footage and send it to me. Oh, hold on, hold on. It is Moose from Infinity on the line now, that was lucky. All right, hello moose. Was that me?
Starting point is 00:24:48 Yep, John Chalice. Marlaine, good every day to you, Bobo Smolkowus. Just wanted to make choir if you'd received my, that's Roy Hodson, that's no good. He he he. It's mixed like John Chalice. Marlaine, good afternoon, good every day to you,
Starting point is 00:25:02 Bobo Smolkowus, just wanted to make choir if you'd received my red hot intercept from the Spurs Catane. Yeah, hi, most, yeah, all good. In fact, I was just about to play it for the boys and girls. Excrement. Just wanted to catch up and ask if you'd be interested in a piece of surveillance I have, erm, I have found a th- that's falleneth into my lap. You may be most, tell me more. Do you like raptors or birds of prey as they are more commonly called? Yeah, they are right. I couldn't eat a whole one though. This footage I have is kept in a raptor, namely an osprey and a most unusual circumstance indeed.
Starting point is 00:25:40 Alright, yeah, and what's that? It is biting an opera singer on his ass. That's quite a nice image. What is the opera singer doing? Oh, he's having a piss on a tambourine that's full of cherries. No, it's okay, Moose. Not really, I'll sort of think. Is that almost?
Starting point is 00:26:02 Ha, ha, ha, ha. What, what's the fully moose? Couldn't eat a whole one. Is that almost? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh, Cheerio, you're lunatic. Cheerio, most say, nice to hear from most Sunday. Yeah. Right, let's play the footage. Oh yeah. So the players, I can see the pictures you can't see. I'm just seeing the players all around the big table and Harry's like addressing them from the top of the table. Listen up, guys.
Starting point is 00:26:40 I've got a partially upsetting announcement to make that may cause you some distress and upset. Wally speaks. Oh no, is it Marina coming back? That would push me over the edge. Do you feel me? No, no, no, that's not it Debbie. The news I have is that I've decided to leave Spurs and join one of the Manchester gangs. Any questions? Yes, Winxie. Oh, your woe! To start being, you won't be coming here every day to look after this and keep La Malacan!
Starting point is 00:27:15 Yes, I'm afraid so, you will probably never see me again unless you are lucky enough to be called up to the England squad. Yes, Eric, Eric Dyer. Who will do up my shoelaces? Listen, it's about time you lot learn to do things for yourselves. For example, something, why don't you buy washing machines instead of bringing your mucky club around to my mums? A new und undumbly isn't it about time you stopped wasting your life playing bubblegum strike for us on your Nintendo all day yeah yeah what is it Eric
Starting point is 00:27:53 is Eric Lamella good you can do it you want to do it I would buy a script all right without without you Harry, I might start byling again. It's just Christ. Nobody would be safe, not even Hugo, who as you know, has skin as leathery as an archer storm. To be honest, this meeting just confirms how urgent and imperative it is that it's become that I leave the gang. You all act like kids with pancake
Starting point is 00:28:26 their favour. Where is W.A.W.E.? Where we still be able to say we are the white hearts. They love the horses hate. Yes, it's no use to me and Manchester. They have their own gang phrases. Blending, chance, mantras, incantations if you like. Take it as my farewell gift to you all. Yeah, Eric. Can I come to Manchester with you? I don't think so, Eric. They're what excellent players, not bang average clogger donkeys. Are you still worried about your shoelaces? Yes.
Starting point is 00:29:05 Class, say, Hugo, will you look after Eric's shoelaces for him? No, he needs to get up to speed himself footwear securing wise. That's it then. I'll never play again. Oh, don't be such a drama, I'm a dope biaric. I'm sure the club will get you some slip-ons. You know, like how you're Thundercat slippers work. Just remember, always enter your shoe before wearing it.
Starting point is 00:29:37 Guess what is it, something? If you do German, huh? What's German? If you leave, we all leave, do you agree lads? Yeah, fuck her, no! We are the White Hats, fail our brushes, hate our c'mon Harry, stay for another shitty season. I'll think about it. I will think about it. Now come on, let's get some fucking...
Starting point is 00:30:12 I'll think about it. Now come on, then you can fucking kick down on this. I'll be watching much silly, Andy. Oh is that it? Yes. I was just going to say it telly Andy? I was that it. Yes. I was just gonna say it. I was just gonna say it. Have you seen the rumors that Parchitina were coming back the spurs?
Starting point is 00:30:32 Yes, I know. I do know, I think Daddy Levy has watched, he's been watching that episode of Dallas where Bobby, Bobby you and appeared in the show and everything was like it was two years before. I think he's pretending to what had happened in the last two years. I've not been happened I think he's just trying to do that but I think I'm getting the mind of Daniel Levy but you know we're gonna see
Starting point is 00:30:54 I've watched anything on the tally yeah I just wonder what I've been watching I watched a good documentary that's on Sky documentaries about the West Indies Cricket Team of the mid-sized he He's called fire in Babylon. That was really good What else I've been watching I've been watching a dart this week I don't know you you've got anything. You're watching that. I'm a bit YouTube. I did watch the darts There's a good there's a good one on Amazon called love fraud Right, that's an excellent little one where some, about eight or 10 X wives tracked down
Starting point is 00:31:30 one of these LoveCon artists, you know. Oh, right, yeah, that sounds good. Now, it is a good one. I mean, mainly I've been on the YouTube watching Street Beasts. Have you watched Street Beasts? No, that sounds good. I mean, that could be one of the two things
Starting point is 00:31:43 that could be picked. Well, having a fight in the street or it could be picked will cook and beef in the street. It's fighting. You come and settle your beef on the street. Have a straight. Really? Yeah, it's good.
Starting point is 00:31:54 You like that sort of thing. And I've also been watching, I know a lot of people are watching it. That thing called Repp, my take away with the lad from Bansley. All right, yeah. I'm familiar with that, yeah. He just goes around called red my take away with the lad from Bansley. Oh right yeah. I'm familiar with that yeah. He's just goes round his local shitty take away as I'm right to the foes. It's just a fellow who takes his own collapsible table and he sits outside his.
Starting point is 00:32:13 That's the one. That's the one yeah. You know, I admire that. Adrian Lewis, he's done his own version, Andrew. I see. Yes. I do want to hear him when I'm putting up. Yeah, of course.
Starting point is 00:32:32 He's having to go at doing one in the stork area. It's on the dark net, but Infinity Rocket Plus. It's sent me a copy, Hansing the power supplied by utility company. That's unusual. Yeah. Yeah, so I tell you what, I'll just play it for you, right? All right. Oh, oh, oh, oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Starting point is 00:32:54 I'm on the way to the big juicy on the retail park here in stock, where I've heard they do something called Rejuvenation Juices for Big lads with a meaty bent. I can't wait off, fork, fork, fork, fork, there it is. I can smell the render from inside me car. Let's get me wheelbarrow out of the car and fill her up. You walk, he's just walking in the shop now, and are you? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:21 Or for all of you are right. Yeah, I'm all right. You are right. Yeah, I'm alright, you alright. Oh yes, yes I'm fucking am. My knockers are glowing red hot at the thought of these meaty juices. Tell me what you've got. Yeah, alright. So, all the juices are best on the same stock. This is the combination of crushed goose, deadly red
Starting point is 00:33:45 at you, punched in overbought turtle heads, and chicken stomachs have been dropped 100 foot and to the abattoir cart yard, then trampled on by a team of gout sufferers. Oh, fuck, fuck, that sound sublime. I can already feel my ass crack lubricating like a scent burner didn't emit dust on carry on sweet hat. So, you can have our neck and truff water, pick shit it with pastrami, bancherstrike with sheaths barooka, or the most popular one, which is called the zoo. Oh, the zoo, what's in that one? Nobody knows, but it's got a hell of a beauty bunch.
Starting point is 00:34:26 You're lovely, by the way, because I just said that. Thank you very much. Have you worked here, Logan? Just thought only place. I'm spoken for. Oh, I know, I bet you are. Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. Tell me, I'll tell you. Well, I'll have one of each tried.
Starting point is 00:34:47 One of each tried. I'm outside now. It's just walked outside with his wheelbarrow. Outside now with these beautiful juices from the big juicy. Let's get them bored into me, wheelbarrow. Oh, there you go. Right, let's get stuck in. Oh my heart is bursting. It warms like swimming in an ocean of liquefied offcuts.
Starting point is 00:35:12 All our wild been caressed by the angel of meat. The ghost's wretched you really burst through. Oh, fuck those punch turtleneck's. I'd a real kick at the back of the throat. So, I'm afraid I've got to legs, I'd a real kick at the back of the throat. So, I'm afraid I've got to give the big juicy a massive 10 out of 10. I'd say I'll give it now and I'll have said,
Starting point is 00:35:34 I'm docking a point now because the juices have actually started to corrode me, we'll barrow, 10 cups at. See you next time on, rate my take away. Oh, she was gorgeous that last. I enjoyed that. I enjoyed that. Many elements at that. I reckon I took a lot of time for a bob. Alright, well that's...
Starting point is 00:35:58 I guess a bob was done quickly before we got the odd. Do you reckon that your strits are still twisting by the pull bob? Oh, God. I mean, it was 9080. It's great. And the songs composed in the key of AMAja with Martin Ockler's vocal range spanning from 8th to 8th. Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:36:12 The song's got a basic sequence of A to D to A. It's its chord progression. So I'd say it's hard to be sure. I don't know what you think. Look, what will stop this? Yes, I think it's very hard to be sure I agree. So see you next time then. Yeah, thanks everyone. Bye bye.
Starting point is 00:36:39 you

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