Athletico Mince - Ep. 117 - A Very Wide Choir

Episode Date: December 10, 2021

A Hot Derek, a poem, Slaughters, a gift guide, Scholes, Crime Files, Beatles chat, and more. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See out for details. Hello and welcome to a 30-go mince. I hope you Christmas cake has been baked and it's been Fred alcohol on the 8th bell of every day. Imagine if you possibly fucking can that you are an extra in the fantasy adventure, Lord of the things. You are dressed as a naked orc with a bald cap, tiny sharp teeth, weeping and seeping sauce, cubby your body and an egg-based oil has been rubbed into your flesh to give it an unholy sheen. You are summoned to the set and position next to another similarly dressed bloke.

Alright mate, you say? We're dressed the same, must be part of the same gang in this film. At Lord of Fort and Thigshor, comes the reply, I'm just here delivering the steak, the eggs for the croak. It is of course my cause, Mr Andrew Dawson. Yes, that's the one. Yes. Oh Mr. Steak Bank, Do Dawson. Yeah, that's coolness. The film set Bet you'd have flannel it

Pillow stopped with tabends Only showers on weekends Good afternoon to you Andrew. Good afternoon to you as well Robert Every time I think that the intro song has run its course Somehow it gets revived back to life and I think it did that song has run its course somehow it gets revived back to life and I think it did. Although I've got a say, I've got a say having me cast as Stigbyk delivery man isn't necessarily a great thing, quite content with that. No it's a matter of fact that's put a right

sheen on your face. You've got a bit of color in your face today and have you run upstairs? I think it's just a lightening in this room. I've got like a kind of a yellow A yellow lampshade, so I probably look a bit jaundiced perhaps that what it is. You do a little bit Yes, it's you are you using your low energy bulbs, you know these modern bulbs You think yeah Yeah, this one is it's one of them that looks like lots it like a couple of little like Drop-hoop pipe things to drink together not like a couple of little drop hoop pipe things trying together, not like a comic book.

Very well learned. Yeah, that could be a new game we do. Describe a bulb. I hope I get the standard Osram. There's some queer shapes these days, isn't there's quite futuristic? I've not even bought any new bulbs. So quite a while I've been quite lucky with my bulbs.

So I don't know, but I will check out the real... Well you know the one you described, the drop hoop bent curved. Yeah. Yeah. In my childhood that would have been the end of a ray gun or something. Yeah exactly. You know. How far we've come?

Stray Man it says on New Year's T-shirt and roof. That is from the top flight time machine podcast that I also do. And what does Stray Man, it says on New T-shirt and roof. That is from the Top Flight Time Machine podcast that I also... And what does Stray Man mean? It was about the concept of finding yourself... usually drunk and lost in a town or a city after the last public transportation system was gone, usually skint and with a night ahead, haven't a forage for yourself and being strir.

Like a strir cut, that's in man form. That brings back, it brings back nice memories out. My last, the one that made me come to my, I did that in redding woke up on the one way system. Stray man, that's a stray man. Me and me, Penny, let's, ended up at a house party in heaven one night and then realised it wasn't for us and then at a walk across some fields

for about two hours, thinking we were taking a shortcut but I think we just went around a circles for a bit. Drinking, do that to you. Well, I wasn't the party for you, was it not, did it not have meat snacks and then? Yeah, there was no snacks at all. There's no meat products and the other people over there didn't say, like us so all right, I'm painting all that, just surprised me Andy, really does, is he um I've got some

wife's questions. All right um the first one, first of course, of, first of all of course you says hello Andy, hello, hello the the wife. Yeah. Hi, Andrew. If you would been alive in the 19th century, do you think you would have been a grave robber? I do. I would have certainly considered it. I mean, it's not a very pleasant thing to do, but I mean, you've got to make a living, haven't you?

Maybe I would have gone down the swini tod route of killing for a pie content, don't know. Don't know. You can only speculate, don't you? I know why I've said it because you look a bit like a mole, you look like a digger. Yeah, I like a dig now and again, yeah. I bet you do. Yeah. Second question, Andrew, do you allow your cap to use the

litter tray or is it just for your usage I don't have a cap so that's that's negated that you've been question so no no but I will say this me dog last night during the night did a little piss against me treadmill, which I thought was quite pleasant. That'll walk up to that. What's he calling? Oscar. Is there any particular reason? Why didn't you raise my collar, Oscar?

Yeah, is he an actor or something? What, why is he Oscar? I don't know, I was just felt like a nice name. We're gonna call him Jeff originally when we got him, but it didn't stick. It didn't stick. It just didn't stick, you know, a dog doesn't look like it's name.

It doesn't feel like it's gonna work out. So Oscar was the best. And who comes the quirk third question. Yes, the wife. Would you agree that all the cut of all the cuts of meat, you look most like a turkey crown? That's really, really well observed, I think. I think it is. I can't think of anything. Obviously it would have to be a very white dry meat. There's no more white, no dry than the turkey crown. Brilliant observation. I can only say yes. Thank you for that. I know and thanks for participating. What you up to today? Well I've got a dilemma for tonight. I was hoping you'd help us out without I've got two choices of what I can do tonight. I'm going.

Choice number one is to go and watch Sunderland versus Morkham in League 1 in near freezing conditions with that new storm. Lumin was it storm storm? Back Iraq I think. Back Iraq too. Back Iraq too. That or I can go to the Newcastle City Hall and watch the Human League performing their classic 1981 album, Dare, in its entirety. Well, I think, would you be taking your son to the match? I'd be taking your son to the match, but he's not a fool. Would you be taking your son to, would you take, taking me daughter to the gig?

Oh, well, if it is helpful, Andrew, I think it's very, very clear that you go to the gig. Ooh. Well, if it is helpful, Andrew, I think it's very, very clear that you go to the human lake. It's really obvious, isn't it? I've got to be honest. I love you, but. I love me football team, but sometimes you just, you can't go.

There's other things to do. Well, I hope that's the decision you make. I hear with Lake, they're also supported by all the images led by Clegg Rogan So that's nice, isn't it? Yeah, no it's gonna be lovely night out there, isn't it? That will be a nice night Well done you. Thank you. I went I went to Middlesbrough and saturday, so you swans me much. Yeah God man, it was cold. I know. You know I mean we got a result so it was kind of works out alright but if we hadn't I would have regretted that quite deeply.

Well we've had two hallmatches in the last weekend they've both been really called to the point of where like me knees were really sort of creaky, eerie at the end when I got up and it's not for me. It's funny me being there sat there behind the goal, you know wondering having a chat, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me names, do you want to choose from a couple of names? Go on then. First up we've got Don Bonkers. Sounds like a wacky sort of fella but he's actually incredibly miserable. The constant reaction from strangers to his name Don Bonkers just makes him more miserable because he's expecting to be quite jaw-veal. He says he'd like to change his name but he hasn't got a pen. So we heard Don Bonkers or you could be two. Probe Tube 2022. No, I'm not a pen. So that's Don Bonkers. Oh, you could be too. Probe Tube 2022. No, I'm not a pro. No, I want to be a pro tube.

Pro Tube 2022 has been retooled and relaunched with new curves for smoother access. No, thank you. Oh, you can be honky, Tonk. I bet you're wrong. I'm going to be honky, Tonk. I love the name Don Bonkers, but he's not what he turned out to be. I don't even know what the word is for that, something that looks... You could check it on and retool it, like the probe tubes have been retooled. Something else? So Andrew, if you are an afflatic or power snips subscriber, you will know that the lads at Infinity Rocket Plastics are using a technique called a hot derrick.

The hot derrick? Remember talking about that, electronics Wi-Fi, I don't know why. Listening to phone calls between some high profile football managers. Got another couple through this week, and they... Oh, good. Good. So, I think I'll play them. Please don't. The first one is between Eddie Howe and Steve Bruce.

Steve Bruce. So it starts off with Steve Bruce. Our hire Eddie, how's it going pet? She only got a draw against Norris the other night, but it's something a build on isn't it sweetheart? Yes, it was very, very frustrating. She wanted to inquire if there was any way you were ever managed Mae'n gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaith a lot happier when I left them to play on the phones and that. That's very interesting, because one of the first things I did was to bend my my phones from the ground and the fact that it's a bad move, that is cupcake, but they give them extra sausage rolls and be it the compensate or and give

Shelby plenty raw liver. Well, let's go because I've just put them all on a vegan diet because I let them cook, saying that it was the best thing to fucking do. Or you're making a rod for your own back there, Trikkel. You have to get your head around the fact that they're all basically happiest when the idle and when they're eaten Well, what's your record if I promise them a two hour pick out session You're gonna tell me fucking curry if they get a win Do you think I have my fucking work? Do you know what? I think that might just do the trick checky cups?

Heck you Steve, this is steery put me down for how you get your own. Ah fine thanks Eddie, I'm mainly on the ebay by and chat and I'm really enjoying watching the deaf videos on the TikTok and might do one myself like putting a bet on and buying some new slacks. Yes I'm fucking actually I wish you all the best with a fucking adema. See you soon and good for your luck. So that's the they're just hot direct at the right moment. Right in there everything just a key moment yeah very good. Did you say there was another one are you gonna save the one for later on? I might save it up you know.

Alright because I've sadly I've got a poor man tree Andrew. You got a poem? I've got a poem yeah he killed his angry if you want yeah. I suppose I should do it as John Copa lockdown to be honest. Well yeah before the best I think yeah. God then. Neck-end chops and thin cut ham. One comes from a pig, the other from a lamb. Sirloin steak and cod in parsley sauce. One comes from a cow, the other from a horse. Long-thin veg and liver by the pound. One comes from the insides, one from underground.

I'm locked down, Ghanany, how do you do? I used to stack the shells at the bay and the ginkew. So that's a poor man, Drew. That's a poor man. Good. Got there out of the way. Tick. Did you say that Tyson Fury has insisted that he doesn't want to be shortlisted for sports personality in the year? I didn't know that. He's going to take legal action against the

BBC, the shortlist them for it. I wonder on what basis that would be. Because it's against his will, I think. I don't know. What would you call it? What do you think there's something called anti-shortlisting legislation or something? That might be. I mean, you've got to... What criminal law that says you must not... You're soliciting it, I don't know, but you're showing you've got to give permission to be shortlisted for something. Any weird...

I doubt it. Any weird law. I just want to say, I don't want to be shortlisted for the sports person out of the year either. And I'll take legal action as well, if you could do. It could have been your year, Andy. That's well said. If I'm not going to win, I don't want to be shortlisted. Oh, it's like that, is it? Yeah, it could have been your year Andy that's well said. If I'm not going to win I don't want to be shortlisted. Oh it's like that is it? Yeah it's like that.

I'm not even ashamed of it. Which like quiz? Go on then. Okay it's called Buying Quack Pop Light Pinnets Quack Oops Ping. Oh yeah! peanuts, quack, oops, ping. Oh yeah! Oink diamond, thwack, give me just a little more time. Astronaut, oink, boing. What?

Now then. What we'll see again. Well, now I'm thinking there's four items. Now there's not. That's right. What? Now then. What? We'll see it again. What? Now I'm thinking there's four items. Now there's not. That's right. All right, fair enough. We've literally think peanuts as one of them.

No. What it is, we go across now to Azda to the Christmas decoration selection that they have. Oh, God. Right. All right. Okay. Here we go. Now we've got three items or from the George

range so they're all good quality. Quality is guaranteed, built in. So here we go. You can have a three pack of cat astronaut bobbles and I'm pricing these most expensive. pricing these, you know the drill highest or lowest or lowest the highest it's up to you. A three pack cat astronaut baubles. I chose them because I know you like cats A 24 pack of acrylic diamond drop baubles or 200 warm white LED string lights with multi function I'll go through those again if you'd like me to I'll go warm white LED string lights with multi-function. I'll go through those again if you'd like me to.

I'll go... And I'll take any questions you've got. I'll go, oh you'll take questions. I'll take questions. Okay, which is the most expensive? No, I'll not take that question. Well, I think it'll be the strip of lights, the 200 lights. 200 lights, you think that's the most nice?

Then the three bulbs and then the diamond drop. So the three pack of cut astronaut baubles is more expensive than the 24 pack of acrylic diamond from four. That's what I'm saying. Oh, you fucking cunt. Ha it's a nice feeling. It's good as well. I mean it really happens to me. But it does feel good. You have attempted and conquered Boeing Quack Park light.

Penoets Quack Ups Ping. Oh yeah. Oink Diamond Thwack. Give me just a little more time. Master Noon. Oink, Boeing, congratulations. Don't know if you've heard Andy, but Adrian Lewis, you know the darts player, got into a bit of a scrap with Pete

a snake bite right last week. Yeah, he did. Did you hear about that? Yeah. Do you know why he's the snake? Why he's got the snake thing going? Do you know the history of it? Why is he snake?

Was he bitten by a snake or something? I think he was bitten by a snake and he made his hair stick up and turned in a different color. I think that's where it was. So the snake, the snake bite, kind of gave him his doubts power. Yeah, I think the amount of food

of effects from the snake bite, yeah. It's like a Marvel comic origin story, isn't it really? No one is sure Andy what the fight was about you know the background to it But I might be able to shed some light on it because I was at slaughter's restaurant the day before all right Okay, and then we're both in there right? Yeah, so I was in the alley in the alley palieria Right. Yeah, so I was in the alley, in the alley palieria, getting a broken coil on me, Reagan repaired in a, an MOT, a knock John's armory, an old fashioned sweet shop, a nice combination that in it and the, yeah.

Obviously, yeah. Reagan's in the old fashioned sweets. Can I, can I just say, is this a bit that I have to contribute to or is this, I've no, I can't remember, but if if it is we'll come to that point. I literally can't remember. You don't sent me anything, that's all. Yeah, the old fashioned sweet shop. Do you remember pineapple chunks?

Do you? Do you remember them? You used to make the roof of your mouth, right? Soar with the rough edges. So you had to put it in your hand key to take a breather. And then when you went to blow your nose, the sweet would get stuck in your brass and mechanism. So you would spend hours picking it off with your good hand and miss the parent teachers evening Do you remember that?

Anyway, I dropped the rare gun off and Chalfon red Maya was the operative on duty that day And he had a lovely All snakey today. He had a lovely snake head medallion around his neck. Oh, just a detail, I noticed. Said it would be about an hour to fit the coil and complete the MRT. I'm actually thinking of selling the rare grown

and upgrading it to one with a stun set in Andy, what you're working. Well, I'll water follow you because you've had a notebook grief with it over the years. Continually taking a back to get repaired I'll just I'll just use wee by any rag on probably yeah I can shove it as quick as you can yeah serves a bit of time done it I mean oh one strange is coming around you else and prodding and talking your rag on down you know I get a tape just right

leave it out you're from, scrap metal taking away. So I pop into slaughters, slip into a boove next to the one where edge and then snake bite out, sat giving their orders to the waiter. So you're quite right Andy, I think you've got quite a lot to do in this one. So shall I do that now? Please do that now yeah. Right, ready when you are. Anyway, so I'll pop into the slot as I slip into the bove next to the one where

Adrian Lewis and Peter Snake bite right us that, given their orders to the waiter. Adrian's the first one to speak. Oh, oh, you love this blaze Peter. Oh, it's a mecca for the sweetest meats and the tastiest residues. If the blood has flowed through it, they will cook it without forking hesitation. Now run us through your specials. For stale, we are offering a broth, made from the nasal cartilage of a pig,

served with crispy, ray-fried docker ears. It's very fucking intense. Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, you meaty temptress. My tits have rotated 180 degrees and my ass pimples are bursting at the prospect. I'll have two of them, please. What about you, Peter? No, not for me. You got any nat shows or dirty fries? Keep your fucking voice down, sir. We won't have talk of carbs in this establishment Fuck off. No you'll fuck off sir. You're gonna have the patty if the breath is not your thing What sort of patty is it?

Go Stung. Does it come with toast? Listen mate, I've already given you a warning about cops, one more mention, and I'll have to dab you in the run cracks. Be fucking here! Nusse, the patty, is served on a slice of deep fried crispy outer flange. Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, that's got me popping. I love a couple of them and all. I'll pass on the starter.

What's the main? The mere course is nine inches cubed of aged and hard and rabid buttocks served in a shroud, fashing from the gusset of run-crags, cook and drowsers. A chiseless provided to penetrate the cube. Oh, fork, fork, fork, fork, my goods are tumultuous. It's as if I've swallowed a tornado. I'll have two of them with the side of otter-nuckles. Does it come with chips or mash?

Right, that's it. You hope I draw warnings. Run. Run. Get out here. We've got a carb warrior and the bremisez. Oh, fuck, Peter, fuck, foot, now you've had it. Cubs is like a red rag to Cragsy,

and he's been on the crystal method, morning, you are four-eighths. Yeah, but you look after me, won't you? No chance, run Cragsy's an animal. You're on your own now, mate. Run arrives at the table. Oh, no, no. That's what... Oh, bro!

Oh, man, what the fuck is going on here? I would bite the middle of flying off the carriage! This poor air has done a three-strike car mention, careful with that hammer run. Oh, fuck, I'm dairy! What the fuck? It's got a fork and slay on it, dad! Let's kill it and get it on the floor, Terry! Welcome! He's got a fallen snake on his head! Let's kill him!

Get it on the floor, boy! Well, Ron takes a swipe at Peter's head, missing narrowly, on account of his bent vision, and Peter takes the opportunity to scarper out of the, um, restaurant, Peter says as he goes. Thanks for backing us up there, eight man. What have we got? Where have we gone? I want that snake! And Ron runs out of the restaurant to search for him. So anyway, I waited around half an hour,

but Ron didn't return, so the waiter announced, I'm afraid Ron has gone maverick forks, so I will have to terminate the sitting. So very, very fucking sorry yeah so that was that I went back to the rare gun shop and the door was open and I immediately saw chalfront red mire was slumped over the counter bleeding from a wound on his head and next to him was the chain from the snake medallion oh my god you know what's happened there we're unseen the snake medallion. Oh my god. You know what's happened there, we're on seeing the snake. Going out there must have.

A phone 999 left a note asking for them just to forward the email to me home address, you know. Yeah, so what are you dealing with that I guess? Yeah. There'll be someone there at knocker, John Zudeels, with that sort of thing. Yeah, it's not a one-man operation, they'll have someone who'll take over. One of the stuff's been killed. [♪ Music playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background Yeah, and this time of year. So there's a couple I'd like to run by you to see what you think if you'd recommend them. All right. There's the Inflitable Choir. This is Exclusive to Wilkinson's 18-member Choir. Inflits in seconds and it sings 12 songs. So you can join in with that if you're on your own. What's the dimensions? And did you know?

It's a very wide choir. Unfortunately unfortunately they're not in a group they're in a line so it's probably about 35 foot long. Oh right it's bullshit then is it? It's an outdoor choir let's be honest it's not for indoors but you get what you're here for it's only $9.99 there's the laser King 1500, which removes stains and headaches just by pointing at the affected area. Right. So if you've got a stain, point your layers around it, if you've got a headache, obviously stick it in your ear roll. I've seen him in homes advertising that, so it must be good. I love one of them, thanks.

Take one of them, and finally, there's the draft Dalek, it's a two-foot Dalek. It's a bit like you know them raw but vacuum cleaners that go around. Oh yeah. On your flots like one of them but it's a Dalek and it just goes around detecting drafts in the house. And it's got like a series of alerts like it'll go like we need a draft excluded for the kitchen door. Oh have someone left a window open? Oh, has somebody left a window open? Oh, even, eh, it's like the fucking Dothpull in here! So, that's the Draftarlic, and that is, uh, 1999. I'll take a Draftarlic and a headache,

Greg, and the loser, good job. The Draftarlic and a Lazy King 1500, good, productive pace that then. So, um, Andrew, all done, got winter up to you, because we we got Paul Skulls on the line now. No! No! I don't want to look at your toe! Just get out of it! And I'm spying it while you do it!

Paul, Paul, can you hear me? Oh, sorry, sorry, I was just talking to the winter cleaner! Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm here! Right, no problem. So, your old club Manchester United have been in the news lately. What was Southshire leaving? Uh, don't think so, Paul. What, how'd you mean?

Well, where did you wear that, lad? Well, I don't know, the place Sky Sports News. Plus, I suppose you're one of those slaves to the mainstream media, are you? Yeah, but it's true, it's in the papers as well. Come on, Paul. Oh, the papers, the papers are well come on Paul. Oh the papers the papers are as I call them the sheep's Bible. Oh they're good as South Kya right as not being sucked by Manchester United as it is physically impossible. But what's your mean Paul? Oh we know we're there in the first place we'll see it doesn't even exist. Ask me

oh the manager Manchester United has been for the last 10 years. Alright, okay. Who is the manager of Manchester United? Boss calls. No it isn't, come on. Boss calls has been a manager about just you know it's just took 2011. And any other information, you may have ingested it in your lazy brain since then, is an establishment lie. I'm sorry Paul, but this just sounds like none of your nonsense. You say what you like Paul but it's a truth. It's my truth. Therefore you are obliged to believe it.

Paul you're not making any sense man. Yeah yeah you know why that is don't you? Your truth receptors have been jammed. It's a fact that every microwave oven and air fryer in this country has been hacked and re-rooted by Infinity Rocket Plastics Nicole at a hot Derek and that's one. Oh it's out with Stabblast, uh, Musn't be connection with Paul there, that's a pee. Did you hear much of that and they? I caught the end of it where he said something about hot Derek. Didn't he? Yeah, he definitely mentioned the hot Derek. I think he's trying to expose something with infinitely rocket plastics, but I don't know

where we lost him. Oh, they're clean as a whistle that lot and the cleaners are watching. Well, you see that, but my man, I'll take your word for it, I guess. Crime Files. FILES! The small Cheshire Hamlet of Waitling is an old Saxon settlement famous for its mullion windowed high street and 14th century coaching in once reputedly a favoured destination for Henry VIII. Life is slow paced and sleepy.

Crime something that the residents only see on their TV's. That was until the 24th of September 2021 when everything was to change. Shit, where's it gone? Fuck. Sorry. In a small converted Sunday school at the end of the High Street, could be found the nonsense pottery of Mr Neil Hunt. A confirmed bachelor he resided alone in the flat above his workshop. It was 7.30 in the morning and Neil Hunt was still in his pyjamas enjoying a mug of coffee and a nice hot pudding standing beside his kiln. Ah, this is absolutely perfect.

Nice and cosy, and no customers for at least an hour. Suddenly the door to the workshop burst open, and in strolled, Jordan Henderson and Jordan pickford. Neil didn't turn around, but simply shouted. I'm not open yet. The opening times are clearly displayed on the front door. Please return when you're in compliance with the aforementioned opening times. Goodbye." Neil could sense that his unexpected customers had not left the shoppers instructed.

He turned to address them. Jesus Christ! Are you a couple of squaddies still drunk drunk from last night's denizens or something? Jordan Henderson responded, nah, do you drink the dizzies too much ballast and you suck what's not the leg if you keep it, couldn't you say, oh I'm red, aren't like, what is the matter with you man? You aren't making any sense whatsoever, do you need help some sort because you can't phone from here. I don't have a phone.

Go out and get out and go back to your barracks. Jordan Pickford. Do you want to do Jordan Pickford? I got the script, you just do it. It's very sun-learned, and he's one la dai, do them allow you that mate. We just wanted to buy some knickknacks and tatty figures for our wives in our cars. We didn't get back home last night in our cars with what being out on the lash and that. Look, I've told you the shop isn't open yet and especially so for a couple of Todd warriors like you now go on get out out

Well, you've got a helpers. Shit might hit various fans and grudges fall and imagined might envelop us Missy need me gratitude and wallet What me mate is trying to see her cause is that you know we could like being right bother if we don't go home cause without an apology gift like you know you're the only shop with a light on and to be honest our only hope One can only be a very good, young. You seem to be acting under the misappresentation that I actually give a fuck about your domestic situations. How much are on a big red heart with the arouss through them on the dog dead on top? Dog dead? You think that's a dog dead?

That's a currently in scroll with curved indents. Can you not see I'm eating a hot pudding? Now fuck off you pair of squatty herbots before it gets cold! Right, that's it? Oh, I don't know if in sort throne received our no-comes the Reaper, release the pickford. With this instruction Jordan Pickford ran at Neil Hunt and slide tackled him at knee height, sending him hurtling to the floor. Oh! Sorry.

Henderson picked up Neil Hunt's pudding and started spooning it into his mouth. Oh yeah, nice one, pudding, flip flip side is you're on the deck. And another pickford release is on the cards that you yet to smoke or dealt with. Crust that hurt, this pickford is a fucking nightmare or his brains made of compost. You're better get out now, I don't think you know how you're dealing with. My brother's business partner owns a magnesium ribbon factory and that shit is highly fucking flammable. Release in the Pickford cross punch in 5, 4, 3, no please please no no why is it always

little old me. I once donated 4 tins of rhubarb to the harvest festival and I've got a Jesus saves magnet on my step ladder So cars how much are the big red hearts with the scrolls on top then? 5,000 pounds each but you can have both for 9,000 just leave me alone That's a better be better you want Mr. Hunt for red October. He's the cash, keep it country style. Don't you want me, baby? Goodbye!

The footballers left the shop with their dog dirt hearts and Neil slowly raised himself up off the pottery floor. Ha, ha, fucking heart. Those giant hearts were marked up at 500 quid and for the life of me the scrolls are indistinguishable from doktod. Haha, I'm Neil Hunt and I'm loving my life. And Andrew that is something that really happened. That is something that really happened and beautifully brought her life as well.

And a little reference to the human leg in there as well, which I enjoyed. Yeah, very nice. I'm still watching the Beatles on a loop and you know? Yeah. And on the third look, I've got time now. I know a lot of people who are listening might not have seen it But have you got a favorite moment? My actual favorite moment was a very short one and it's that little bit where you say York or Northern Linda McCartney

Have a nice little chat together. That's a nice moment. And they're both got a lovely smile in their face It just looks really it flies in the face of you know the Received wisdom of it. Yeah. Received wisdom, that's the thing you're looking for. Yeah, thank you very much for helping me out there with the words. Yeah, that's my favourite bit, but it's just, it isn't a bit of it that I couldn't just watch over and over again. Like I said on Twitter last week, for the rest of me life, literally, for the rest of me life, I'm going to be able to put that thing on at any point in it

and just watch it for maybe 20 minutes, half an hour an hour and me mood's gonna be lifted and I know it's there to do that, to serve that purpose and it's a thing of wonder Do you think it's kind of like almost like a new thing? It's like a, I don't know what the genre's even the right word like it's like feels like a new thing. It's like a, I don't know what the genre is even the right word. Like it's like feels like a new thing. Like a reality movie. Do you know what I mean? Something like that. I think it's because it's because there is all the history of the

Beatles and everything has already been put out kind of thing, other than outtakes and other versions and stuff. This is a completely new, massive chunk of them being just being the Beatles, just dangling around and being the Beatles. And it's like, I don't know, it's a major historical art, in fact, as far as I'm concerned. If you know that the Beatles, you probably won't be in it, but for me, it's just treasure. I think one thing that's interesting about Elylandi is because of how beautiful it looks, technologically, you know, it's a beautiful, like 4 HD KY CCTV imagery, and because their dress, their fashion looks perfectly pertinent now, it's very interesting because you're usually

watch historic things, like through a bit of a historic, you know, lens, you know, because of the clothing and the quality of the film, but this feels like it could have been made last week, right? That's the thing. It feels like you're in the room almost, doesn't it? Especially the weather we had shot with cameras kind of being over the place. Not came on the director, Michael Lindsey Hogg, not came on his input. Michael Lindsay Hogg, not Kate on his input. If he, if he not Jane, I think it's in the first one, and if the next time you watch it, do keep your eyes open for the full length shot of him from sort of profile shot of him, with his jeans tucked into his boots. And the size of his fucking ass. This is a big ass fuck.

Oh, good. Oh, I look out for that. Speaking of big asses, which I know is a recurring theme on this podcast. Did you watch The Snooker at the weekend? I'm not a snooker, watch your Andy. Well, the final of the current tournament was one of the contestants was Luca Bressel, I think he's called a Belgian Belgian lad and he had a very full-ass and of course they were quite tight fit and trousers and snowker so it was it was very apparent at all times. He lost so he might have hindered him. I'm not sure but within being Belgian it was very reminiscent of Edden Hazard's ass which was sporting about before which also was a very full-ass. So I don't

have a Belgian thing or a Belgian sporting thing. I'm not sure. Maybe it needs more investigation, but next time he's on, I'll give you a shout. Thank you, because I don't want to miss that sort of thing. I mean, you've got pickpods. Pickpods is remarkably high. It's almost got a shelf, and I like that.

I like a high-ass that forms itself into the shelf. So no, I'll keep an eye out for that. There must be some big ones in the darts, but their shirts tend to cover it up on a... Well, I mean, I'm really looking forward to the World Darts Championship, or as some people call it Christmas. The Christmas Darts, yeah. I cannot wear Andy. To start on the 15th. Could I ask you a question? what do you think is worse? The Christmas break in the

Christmas starts, are the international break in the football? I'm not asked about the national break in the football, it's got to be the Christmas starts break. It's really it's heartbreaking, isn't it? It feels like you lose a limb because you're just getting in the second round, it's just getting exciting and just ticking away for three days. Ah well, heart breaking. Well, I think that's enough for us for this for now. We should try and get a nice bumper, Christmas one together. We'll attempt more throughout the month of think, hopefully. Yeah, it's been lovely.

Thanks for listening, everybody. Yeah, thank you, everyone. See you next time. Bye-bye. Cheerio. It's hockey season and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a nice drink on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain ol' ice?

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