Athletico Mince - Ep. 120 - Cowboy Special

Episode Date: June 16, 2022

Some country music, a vague levy, a new Phil Jones trailer, a card game, Geordie Heat, and more. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Good day to you Andrew. Hello. Hello. Robert Mortimer. How are you? Black T-shirt, bit somber, something happened. No, no, I just thought I'd wear it just because just pulled it out of the wardrobe. I don't have too many wardrobe decisions. Just pull out whatever's there. Excuse me. There's a lot in that statement, Andy. You hang your t-shirts up in a wardrobe.

Yeah. You do not. I do, yeah, don't Ian them, but hang them up. I figure that if you hang them up, they kind of self iron, just from gravity. I think there's something in there. I think there is. So there you are. See if it's time.

So yeah, what's your problem with that? Dickhead. I suppose if you put a little bowl of hot piss in the butt of the wardrobe, you know, get a humid atmosphere, you know. Yeah. I mean, I must admit your t-shirt doesn't look on Ion, so maybe you're onto something there. Well, it's black top, the talisman, a darkened room. So, yeah.

What is your ironing situation, Andy? Stee myon, plain iron, no iron. I've got a stee myon, I only deploy it for me sunscull yarn reform, because I feel as though there's an obligation When I'm sending them out into the world or if he's if he's going out, he wants to wear some at you know, fairly nice I'll run the iron over that but I don't iron my clothes Jesus no There's always a bit of a risk with the steam iron about one in every 200 puffs you get a load of brown shit come down

200 puffs, you get a lot of brown shit coming down here. Yeah, I do, and it's usually when you iron some white, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. So, but you're gonna stick with the steam anyway. I'll stick with the friddle, yeah. Yeah, steam always reminds me Andrew of steam trends. Yes. And steam trends always remind me of the Wild West and the Cowboys scene.

Andrew, do you like?? Do you like it? That's a very smooth segue, is that the word? Do you like country music and Western music, Andy? I don't like country-West music. Yeah, I didn't use to when I was younger. I thought it was stupid, but I don't like it the older I get. Oh, you think I'm a artist? I wish you five with country-western art.

Oh, I like all of them. I like Chris Krus, Krafx, Cruston. Grip Shandy. The Maltting Sisters. You say like, Chris be creamed owners, then, because that's not an answer to the question. I like, couldn't regret. Which, if you work cowboy, would you be like a horseback

cowboy type of cowboy? Right. Or more one who's in like a dine, a sort of more modern with a pickup truck and that, you know? Well, I thought there was only one kind of option if you're a cowboy, you've got to be on a horse. I mean, there was no motor vehicles in the wild west, surely. I know, but I mean, but in country and western terms terms they're just up as cowboys don't they? Yeah, I mean would you rather be a proper cowboy and horseback or like a cowboy in a saloon bar just drinking and I'd be a I'd be a cowardly cowboy. I think I'd be the coward of the county from the Kenny Rogers song

Boy, I used to like those do you know those films and the Support your local sheriff? Yeah, I've got films, aren't they? Yeah, you passed the time with the watching them, I guess yeah. Me, Yem, me, X Mother-in-law used to go to Langdansen quite a lot, she was well into that and there was one fuller there, I used to dress up in full cowboy gear every week. God bless you. And it was properly it with, but they had a ban in the end cause he turned up with a handgun.

And I was just gonna say, I thought you were gonna say because he murdered someone. Well, he wanted to step away from that, but he got banned. So, quite right. I've heard you go line dancing on your own. Just you on your own line dancing on your own. Oh my god. Yeah, just you on your own land dancing on your own

Yeah, just you on your own land What I'm talking about country in Western music because boy have I got a treat for you today Okay, what's up? It's a new intro song in the country and Western style. Well, you like it? Oh, yes, will. Here we go. To get the creases out of the fog and rest I've been wandering around the local shithead Thinking hard about cleaning up my fucking mind I've been tethering out the ocean's delan post Hoping to get my fucking shatters real high I'm not huff-huff-key, I'm not fucking shatters me alive I'm not, uh, uh, okay I'm not bright as a spark

I'm, and the door opens And I'm pissin' on shadows Stoods, stoods, in fucking dark I've been sticking my fucking fingers in to talk shit I've been throwing sticks and stones at my fucking cat I keep hoping all day for a fucking miracle Like waking up and finding out my belly's flash Cause I'm not hot, hot, and keep

I'm not dry as, keep I'm that bright airspot I'm Andy Dork, Dwarf Sir, I'm pissing on shadows Shadows, shadows in the fucking dark In the dark Did you enjoy that and then? I loved that, that was very um, professional sounding Bob? Ah, Reckon Ah, Reckon What's the story? It's catchy though, isn't it? I'm not honky. I'm not right as a spark. I'm Andy dole. Oh Shadows, shadows, shadows, shadows, shadows, shadows. In the fucking dark. Good song, don't you think? Love that.

Who's responsible for the music there? Um, the Popsu Premium Rock characters, Frank Turner. And bless him. Rock character, Frank Turner. Yeah, yeah. Big. Big. I'll lovely have him to provide that accompanying for me. Big time. I hope, I hope my singing did him So good didn't do him a disservice. Yeah, thanks for frank turner for taking a and I were out of his massive pop schedule I do that for us

Yeah, thank you Frank. That leads down a marker as well for other Big fans of the show. I'm thinking some fender is a fan of the show. I think all of it you know something that provides some music for us So what's been happening? Well, I've got some wife's questions Shit, you've all got any further. Yeah, how's your health Bob? Oh Thanks for asking Andy I'm a bit worried. It's not great. Oh really? I've got a cold as well. My voice is a bit you might not was it in my voice. I haven't know. Yeah well I'm knocking on a bit you

take you to what do you do you know. Yeah. I don't know what to say. I keep taking the pills. You're all with the punches I guess yeah. You're all with the punches. Just exactly that's what I do. Living from day to day really? Yeah. Are you interested in me health? Yeah of course I do. Living from day to day, really? Yeah. Are you interested in me, Alph? Yeah, of course, I asked. I don't believe you for a minute. Have you included me in your will? At all. No, I haven't included you, Andy. Nothing at all.

Not even a small item, a talk, and I don't know if I'm a friendship, the word. Association? Association, what would you like? You've got something in mind. small item, was like a talk on our, I don't know, friendships the word, association. Associate, what would you like? Got something in mind. Well, I was open, you got a surprise, there was something nice, but I'm not really bothered. What a sports car, is something. No, something small, that can put away in a cupboard, or anything big. Oh, you want to put, you want to hide it?

That mirror on the wall behind you there, that big mirror, fuck and don't give us that. That's a nice mirror there. It's a lovely mirror, but I can't be asked with the upkeep of that. No, you're having it, that's what I wall behind you there, that big mirror. Fuckin don't give us that. That's a nice mirror there. It's a lovely mirror, but I can't be asked with the upkeep of that. No, you're having it. That's what I'm leaving you. Fair enough. Anyway, one of the questions. Andy, she says, how you doing?

She says. I'm all right. Thank you very much, the wife. Couldn't care less, she says. What are those strange little mounds of blisters that you sometimes get in tarmac surfaces? That's getting your tech question there. Strings little mounds in tarmac surfaces. Mounds or blisters that you get in tarmac.

Yeah. I know what she means. And then they're sort of crack. She obviously is associated with the tarmac in the street. She just wondered if you knew. I'm flat. To be associated with the tarmac in the street. She just wondered if you knew. I'm flattered to be associated with the tarmac industry, but it's out of my skill set. I'm afraid I've got absolutely no idea.

So that's a no, yeah. The only thing I could say is that when they used to tarmac the school playground, and it was still drying and still soft, we used to try and throw marbles in the wood and push them down so that the time up would harden around the marbles And the marbles would be that permanently. That was fun Snow Patrol sang a song about that didn't they today if you push them down Push the marbles right down

Right down into the ground Some are like that if you listen for that. Thank you for that. If you like the provider of music at any time with a future episode, don't get in touch. Andy, she says, When you wet the bed, do you one clean the sheets the following weekend? Two, just keep covering the patch with newspaper

until your face is jammed up against the ceiling. Three, sprinkle flour on the patch and then hoover it. I have learned to and then hover it. I have learned to just cope with it. I'll just lie in the patch. It'll drive eventually. This is sometimes a bit of a rash, but you know, it's no different than any of the other various rashes that I have.

So I'm quite comfortable with it. I've learned to live with it. You're comfortable with it. I'm fairly comfortable with it. I've learned to live in a comfortable place. I'm fairly comfortable with it. Three, of an evening, do you hang around the mobile chippy near the flyover, chatting up the lasters in your peddle car? Pfft. Pfft.

Do you do that? Is that the question? I felt like it was something that you do. I felt like it was multi-choice that there was something else coming. Er, no,'m going to say a note of that. It sounds quite sinister. So I'm going to say a note. Thank you for the question, though, and the other ones. I enjoyed them immensely. The next, it's not really a question. Oh, there's more. She just, well, my wife went into B&M the other day and she was gobsmacked by it. She'd never been before.

I'm a home bargains man, Andy. I'm just wondering what you think of that, do you prefer home bargains or B&M or she just wondered, you know? I've got a love of B&M that goes back many, many years. I thought mine home bargains, I like home bargains, but being them It exists in me heart. If you know what I mean You said she was shocked when she went in she was shocked at the the range Yeah, she really was I mean there's a great one. No, you may that's got a massive Got on an area outdoor. I must have counted it here

of um, got on an area, outdoor area, I must have counted it. Yeah. I must have outdoor area, which sells I've got the garden stuff as well. It used to be being cute, now it's a B&M, huge improvement. Yeah. So if you just bought 110s and tens of turbals and chairs, so you can't actually access your garden anymore. No, I can't see about the shit furniture. I go in there for bags of cheese siveries. Oh, I go in there for bags of cheese sivaries. Oh, cheese sivaries. I go in there for cheese jars of coffee. Sometimes I'll get some exotic booze they might have one offer. I've never had before. Doge treats.

Dog treats. Very good for dog treats. Oh, you love them doing you. Oh, I can't stop. And that. Yeah. And that as well, of of course you want to get that in as well.

Yeah. Anything else? Anything else? Anything else? It's really you're there. And budget outlets that you'd recommend. I've heard of one called fan foods. I ain't got a fan food.

I've not I've not done that. There's a there's a heron foods which is in the building in the village I grew up called Shini Roor. What's a Heron's eat that just selfish to her? Yeah, yeah, Pilchards. The Heron Foods used to be the library that I spent so much time in as a child and I feel that's quite a side indication of where we are as a society. Oh, student, just a little boy, where you are?

Oh, very much so, yeah. Next question. I've got a little advert that we need to do at this point, but I'll completely do it. You don't need to have any input or whatsoever. Infinity Rocket Finance is the new official additional payment partner of athletic events. Whether you're looking to implement a booking fee, a processing fee, an administration charge,

event cancellation insurance, or just a vague levy, you can rely on infinity rocket finance for handling the transaction and never ever end the same in the idea of a refund. With Infinity Rocket Finance as your additional payment partner, the customer service offering will be fully automated, impossible to navigate and totally infuriate. 100% of the time. We're proud to be teaming up with Infinity Rocket Finance as our official additional payment partner and we're sure you'll share this completely genuine emotion too. There we go. I enjoyed that very good. I was obliged to read that out contractually. What was it? Vague, vague payments, vague additional sums, just a vague levy, any kind. I'm excited Andy, good because it's been a while I don't know if there's been problems

with the production but Nutflex have released another trailer for the upcoming Nutflex box set about Phil Jones, starring Phil Jones written by Phil Jones. Yeah. Okay. Sulfid 2022 and Philip Anthony Jones Central Defender and Utility Midfielder for the Manchester United football franchise is patrolling streets in this brown Hyundai 4x4 searching out criminality and gang-related activity, a hero that we don't deserve. Cotto, close-up of 4x4's dashboard, a fly lands and is immediately crushed by Phil's heavy-doll like fist. He clears up the residue with a wet wipe and places it into his recycling pouch. Close-up, Philips knows his nostrils flaring as he smells gang-related activity

in area. He whispers on to breath, whoah here gang-related activity, makes me reek greatly and troubled. Better check my utility belt. Close up of utility belt, it holds one pair of super droid tweezers, a cabri fudge bar, three earbuds, an unrubed scratch guard and a black pudding. Philip Anthony Jones smaidd yw'n sfylwf, hefyd yn dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r to feet from group and slowly exits his vehicle. His hand gripping black pudding and his excellent mind and vision focused like an owl and swoop. Cut from the gang alternate unison and face towards Philip Anthony Jones. He holds the scratch card in front of first to ensure his anonymity and mystique, the main man from the gang shouts. What do you want your staff busted? You should leave before it gets tasty. I'll

tell you what's tasty replies Philip. This black pudding, I bet you feel right now that I've reversed that back, right at you. Philip utilises a short, sharp, super whaddled, and his soon-feste face would be gang. It is my belief that gang related activities in progress at this location, namely I suspect that you are in the process of attempting to steal this Mercedes car. If you don't leave now, I will be forced to go down on you with great force. Close-up leader members, Traxel and Pocket, his hand pulls out to blade. Union is brilliant football in mind. Philip is miles head off this move.

I can see you pulling that part of your pocket, put it away. One of the gangers shifted to the side, and is able to recognise for it despite the scratch-card sealed. It's fully banned for new Jones, where it deep shit here is being protected in the manganarted penalty box for 15 years. No way we could ever penetrate this defensive guy. Fill Jones' users' incredible voice to assure final warning. You should listen to it, mate, lads. This could only end one way and that is which carmenge and pain and another clean sheet for Philip Anthony Jones. Close up gang leader member. Listen Mr Jones, we don't have any trouble. We're just looking

after the car for Tyson Fury. He'll be back in a minute. A likely story. Clear off. Go back to your parents' house and read a good book. Suddenly the gang scatter. Phillips work is done. Cooked a wide shot of Phillips Hyundai. Phillips has forgot to put anbreecon and vehicle is moving at increasing speed towards Philip

and towards the Mitsaid East car. He employs a superwaddle thrust and in no time is at the side of the Hyundai Tranto Open drivers door, but it's too late. The 4x4 crashes into a grill of the Metserides causing significant damage. As Philip inspects the damage, he looks up to see the giant figure of Tyson Fury staring down on him and taking off his shirt. Bouga. Bouga. Oh, Bouga. And that's that and then, so I can't wait for this series to come out. I absolutely cannot wait for that. Let's have some of this

It's this catch for you Play cards right. Oh play cards right play your cards right. Oh, I will do we go all you got to do Bob is tell me higher All lower Five of clubs higher all lower higher lower. Stop it off. Five o'clubs. Higher or lower? Higher. Yes, tenor diamonds. Well done Bob. Good start. Tenor diamonds. Higher or lower? Lower. Lower than a ten. Yes, yes. Difficult one that. Two of hearts! Two of hearts. Excellent. Two. Hiya.

Feels like an easy one, doesn't it? Yes. The four of hearts. Nice. Nice. Higher or lower than a four? Higher. Higher than a four.

Turn it over. It's the queen of hearts. How many more to go Andy? Not sure Queen of hearts higher or lower? Lower lower than a queen It's lower. It's lower. It's a good right six or close tough one. What's your reckon higher or lower? Man, I'm gonna go higher that got the stats on the cards. They're none of It's lower. It's a good right six or close tough one. What's your reckon higher or lower? Oh Man, I'm gonna go higher that got the stats on the cards then another yes seven of spades Just one higher higher or lower than a seven higher

Higher than a seven Higher again, it's the ten of diamonds, ten of diamonds, higher or lower? Lower. Three of spits, higher or lower? Right, higher. Humiliation. Two of clubs. Two of clubs, never mind. You have won nothing. Nothing, nowt. So there you are. not even a bag to put the nowt in

absolutely nowt andy have had a new wav MP3 script something like that from the Jordy incident room so I'll perform that for you shall I? I'm iron rostin' it to life. Am I in rostin' it to life? Um, do you know, I'm not absolutely sure, um, cause I've noticed John Joe Shovey is there, but no. Okay. Soz ending, but he's there. That's fine. Right, so here goes.

All right. heat. Crime on the time. Hot Jody Knights. Jody Streets. Full of crime. Jody Heat. Interior Jody Heat Incident Room. John John Shelby is cooking some liver on a camp in Stove. PC Carol Beedley is eating egg-custed tarts. Community PC, Peter Beedley, is reading a book of poems by Benjamin Zephanet. Di, Eddie Howe is on the eBay looking at mouse mats. The phone rings and is answered by PC Denis Welch. Hello, Jordy Heat Emergency Hot Lown line. How might I help you pet? It's best to...

Oh... I can't do the voice cause I can't do it cause he's called. Oh my god. I'll have to try one now. Hello? I think... Jesus Christ. Hello, Jordy Heat.

Oh no. It's best to sting from the massive house. Hello! I think... Jesus Christ! Hello, George! He is... Oh no! It's Mr Sting from the massive house! With the massive drive! And the massive oil tank! And the massive supercar! That's faster than the fastest car in the world! I'm sorry I got a bit of a call today!

Oh hello, Mr Sting! She looks around at the rest of the squad with a look on her face that suggests she is on a work day's work experience at the ship farm. What's the matter this time? TOTEG that torn with me young lady, I paid good money for your service and demand to be treated like an emperor or at the very least, like I'm high up in the arm pauses And he might be speaking to your chief executive Quite frankly, your attitude stinks

More than one of Trudeys' moonbeam's smoothies I can't do it and they're so sorry Will you do stink? You better go and I can't do it It's a waste of time, isn't it? Yeah, I'll have a go. Alright. I demand to speak to your chief executive.

Quite frankly, you're not a show stinks mother what a show these mug-based smoothies. How's that? Oh, that's fine. Take your right. Okay, Mr Sting says Denise. Putting you through to DI Eddie Howe. Just putting you on hold for a second pet. She turns and speaks to DI Eddie Howe, just putting you on hold for a second pet. She turns and speaks to DI Eddie Howe.

It's Mr Sting, he wants to speak to you, Boss Pet. Oh, for fuck's sake, Darius. I'm on the ebay. Can't you tell him I've got out fucking clubbing or something? I'm sorry, Boss Pet. I've already said I'm putting him through. Straight I like burn on my fucking savings. Put the fuck us through and let's hear what,

Bollocks is occurring. Hello, is that Mr Sting? This is DI House speaking. How in May I fucking help you? Will you stop staring with the swear on your mind for a start. No fucking chance. Now what do you fucking want, Squire? Oh, I guess that's your sensible question. Let me explain. Claudia is a weird and ungunned me again, cos. And as you'll be a bit of a girl, which isn't here, I generally make me serve a massive

brigade, but I'm here. Are you keeping it up with me? I'n mysio'r masio'r pwegain bod yn ni'n ys, a yw'r cymru'r upwyrddi! Ys! Well, as I was tro'n nôrdiad'r snydd mewn aif, ysiaf yna'n ysiaf ys, a'i'n aif, yw'n weld, a'i'n lwy'n dwy'n dwy'n dwy'n dwy'n dwy'n dwy'n dwy'n dwy'n dwy'n dwy'n dwy'n dwy'n dwy'n aif, a'i'n cymru'r up! Ys! Wyl o'r aif, mewn i'n sada' snydd mewn aif, Yeeah! Well, I was met and he saw the sultman, he scabbard and ran into the garage, trawled and lifted the door open when she tried a mega car to drive to the gong of the thong,

I yo, follow in me! Yeeah! Well, I took off my plate and the inslimbers and got in the big clogs which had been of the hardest trophy known to mankind, and just after him, he was nowhere to be seen in I'n gweithio'r ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymwch ymw I need your standard journey, hate squad car round, with full nights and sirens and decent sirens step ladder, and a bet, and a storm gun, lots of that yellow tip, you'll understand. Eeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy His thing is sat on a wheelbarrow full of buttoned squashes outside the open and garage door. DIHOW and PC Carol Beasley emerged from a Jordy heat squad car, not far behind them is PC Peter Beasley on his mouthhead with a step ladder under one arm. YOLO CHOCKETSIDE!

Lack and barely higher the sirens and did you shoot the massive gear behind you? Eddie turns to PC Peter Beasley, he was just pulled up. Did you shoot the fucking massive gates behind you, Peter? Oh, no, I couldn't boss, you know, cause of the step ladder. I thought that it would be automatically, you know, electric, electric, where clunk, clunk, clunk, shut.

How dare you suggest my massive gear to manual! The button that shuts them's in the hallware and I can't leave me porced here under Squash Barrow or else the intruder might escape! Go shut the fucking gatepeer and don't fuck about. We need all the manpower here in fucking situ Peter drives off on his moped right could you say that hatch in the roof there's open yeah well the ladder that was there's gone so I've deduced that the intruder is fritzing up into the loft with him I agree with your fucking diagnosis. Carol, fetch me the step ladder. Oh, Jesus wept, that fat fierce creep has taken it back up to the gates with him.

He's such a useless milky bag of fucking out. He should be back in one minute, especially if he has a terrible switch on his morbid leg I have. Well, I guess we'll just have to fucking wait. No worries, I've written a new song for me, not which will help fill in the time. Carol and Eddie look at each other in a way to suggest that they've been asked to jetrod John McCryllix-Carsie. Sting fetches his loot and begins to sing. Oh God. Oh, Mr. Sting, yes, Mr Sting, let's all sing him some praise. Oh, Mr. Sting, yes, Mr. Sting, let's all sing him so praise, cos Mr. Sting, yes, Mr. Sting, he cooked up all and is.

The soul, and after the lightning strike, achoped the audience fine, and his back, her partner's golden hand, at the past, the radio time. Oh, Mr. Sting, that Mr. Sting deserves a Michelin star! Cause the bowling is just the bowling is 6'411 car! Pee! Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee, Pee Mae'r yw'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch giveable, bullshit, give me that ladder. Carol climbs the ladder and shouts up into the void. I'll give you three, four-gun seconds to get down here, or I'll come up there and l'm, you so hard, your tongue will hang over your ass all, and your brain will turn in the dandelion and four-gun, bare-duck, three-cho.

At this point, the sound of footsteps are heard in the loft, a pair of legs emerges from the hatch, Carol moves out of the way and a naked man falls down under the garage floor. Sage him, Sage him, kick him in the balls like a gun! Carol kicks him in the balls, the naked figure lets out a groan and then starts crawling towards DI how. I reckon this look is sad Rob Singh Green you know from the World Time song and it extreme mackerel show. Rob Singh Green lifts his head up and speaks. I'r ysgwch i'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r dynch chi'n ei'r d Before going how, may I shake your hand? Robson stands up naked in front of Eddie Howe.

He has attached a tooth brush to his dongle with an elastic band. No, you may fucking not. I don't shake a hen of petty fucking crims, especially naked ones with a fucking toothbrush attached to a fucking dingo. Oh, please, Mr Howe. I've waited for your touch for a long, long, long lonely time., pwis, mysdau, am yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw move it with great fog and pleasure. Well would you prefer, you know, like if I got it love, no I fucking wouldn't.

Well Mr Faggy's thing, I think that sorted out your Faggy problem. Yes, I am mainly impressed and shall return to my Spagboy and Sograin. Well, in that case I wish you all the Fag you rest me that and good luck with all your future fact in end-devis. Sure don't add goodbye from Steve. Jody heats. Did he enjoy that? I enjoyed that a lot. I don't get to be Mr Stig there, that was great.

We've got some topical comedy from Topical Canadian Liam Casserol. Oh good. Yeah, we'll just see what he's been commenting on this week. The BBC, the BBC's got a brand new new studio this week. Let's see if that can bring us some better news. Very good. I see that Mick Jagger has tested positive for COVID this week. I don't think he'll be getting any satisfaction from that. Have you seen the price of petrol out there these days? It won't be long before we can't even afford to drive to the petrol station to buy petrol from the petrol station.

Very good. Yeah, but he paid back your honest to pass on to him. Just simply that I wouldn't use any of that material in front of any human. None of it's worth while at all. You've gone use it down the pet cemetery. That's where I would recommend. Probably with caution. Have you been watching anything on Nutella, Bob? Well, I've watched the last series of Better Call Saul to prepare me for the new series and I've watched the new series. Right. Great work of our ever produced.

Right. And it enticed me to go back to the beginning and a breaking pad again. So I've been doing a lot of that sort of thing. Oh, that sort of thing. I got off way through series two of better called soul and then I don't know, but you fell away. Do I need to get back into it? I'm a miss now. Oh man. Oh and it's the ultimate miss out. You know it's like never going to be an M. Right. Oh well if you've put it like that then I'll definitely get back into it.

What else anything else you've watched has had it? I'm trying to think, I mean, saying that series about sex pistols, that's on Disney Plus. I started, I got about five minutes in, and it repulsed me, so. Yeah, it was the first episode and a half was so, it was just really bad, but kind kind of watchable but it gets better as it goes along. I don't think I'll be going there. That's not much of a recommendation for you to go back into it. No. I've heard there's a new hostage thing on Netflix. German hostage thing or something. Yeah, good things about that. Yes, I might watch that the safety. Sorry, I don't know what it's called, but I might give that a watch.

Give us a second that I'm probably telling you what it's called, because I'm a good friend on Twitter, Harry Flowers, what's telling us about. Glad Beck, it's called. Glad Beck. Glad Beck, the hostage crisis. Oh, well, let's try and both watch that. And you can recall that.

I'll try to watch that for next time. I'll watch that for next time. I'll watch for what else is another good monkey documentary series on sky called Gangs of Baboon Falls. I recommend that. I'm just going to go. That does sound good. Two episodes into that. It's standard monkey gang stuff.

Totally, you know, fighting each other, not with knives, just with fists and teeth. So that's good. So I suppose that's enough for that. I don't know. I don't know the thing to do with British managers, but I'll never achieve it with my voice because so we can serve that one. If you're flugging, you've done very well and we're all very proud of you. Oh, thanks. Yeah, pretty brave. I was pretty brave. Can I go on out? Hey one more time now Amanda Dorson

I'm pissing on shadows pissing on shadows pissing on shadows In the fucking dark See y'all thanks for listening Bye bye Thank you.