Athletico Mince - Ep. 33 - Steve's Restaurant Showdown

Episode Date: November 18, 2016

McClaren meets up with the fat lass, an observational sitcom is launched and there's a shocking turn of events on the Spurs gang scene. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See out for details. Oh Jesus. Hi, Tonk, you're done? Alright there. How are you doing? Get up, me way. I'm going 70 miles per hour all the way to the Chippy, Batlet sausage, P Fritter and a small chips, please, Eric. It sound very, very pleased to be here with that. Do you know what, Andy? I've one thing, I'm really ill and I know we were meant to do this podcast earlier but I couldn't get off of me, say, I'm on me, say, I'm watching this new, I think it's Spanish police woman prison drama called friend

What do you mean? Yeah, well because it's got women in it. Women's prison. Yeah, just do fact women but she giggles set me off a bit. Kee-edge teet So the where y'all are uniforms at blot in anywhere. There's a it's a usual prison stuff I can recommend it if you like that sort of thing, you know, there's a queen bee. There's a corrupt guard You know Standard. Yeah, it's standard, but if you like that sort of thing and I know is this on during the day Yeah, I'm having my I thought for my whole day today. I'd watch this prison female prison drama

Right up. I get up, I had two crumpets, Marmalade, a cup of coffee and I've got me doofy over me because it's quite cold. You've got a hat on as well, like a beanie hat. What's that written on it? I hearted the super moon. Have you saw that on yourself? No, you can buy him on the big day. You know there's only two wars in super moon, do you? Yeah, you've got one for there. Hold on a minute, is that not on me yet? On the on the hottest, four wars, super moon. So I've, mine's wrong then. Yeah. Well, and then it's not a hat, it's actually, I know it's a bit bulky, but it's a belly, all right.

If you see a sort of... I know it is a belly, it says stamped on it. Hey, listen, guess what? Excuse me. Excuse me. What? I was in the middle of town, I just wrapped the doofay around me to settle it to me. All right, the more was there.

Okay. And I suddenly came over with terrible sickness and I had to run to the toilet and I spewed up. Well thanks Andy for your side, you're a compassion. So I ran to the toilet and I spewed up, I got reaped, you know you get really sweaty. So I couldn't get out, I couldn't, you know I was caught and I was called and then I thought about having to see your first on this.

Yeah. And I thought I ain't going to keep it any of these crumpets, they're anything down if I'm not careful. So hence, I'm so apologise for being a bit late, but I'm well into this frame now. So I've got that to go until soon as we've finished. And the second thing was, was I heard a rumour, you've been offering potpies to your mates and the free potpies was I heard a rumor, you've been offering pork pies to your mates and a free pork pie. I did, yeah, I did when I was in them, talk sport the other week.

I had a four-pack of mini pork pies. But, well, I didn't really offer them, to be honest, I just left them on the desk and then a couple of the people there took them without permission. Where is yours? But the joke was on me because they'd been there for three hours and they were at room temperature. And room temperature pork pie is, you know, it's an opinion divider. Well, would you like my opinion? Let's have it.

I think with a really quality pork pie, a bit of like gentle warmth is quite nice. But if you add warmth to a value pie, and I presume yours were value pies, were they handy? No, from which or was actually a pork fan off. Well, then there might have been all right, but yeah, if you get one from the services, or if you get a value pork pie,

you go have it as cold as possible. Did you disguise the test of urine, basically? Because that's what you're going to get. But do you think that the sort of slightly warm jelly around the crust is acceptable? Perfect. So if it's a quality pie, anyway, look, I interrupted you. What were you going to say? So if it's a quality pie, anyway look, I interrupted you. What were you gonna say? Um, oh, that's what I was gonna say. Um, guess who didn't do a Chadwick last night? Um, I did, so I'm gonna guess you. I didn't. You didn't do one. Didn't do one. Powered on through. So what happened in the morning? I've nothing. I've kept going. What you see? I'm holding it in. Oh, you get, I've been set at time. I'm, I'm doing a chat with tonight.

I'm doing nothing till tonight. Wow, and then you're gonna wait and then I'm gonna look full just because you're gonna come in over 30 millimeters or something, milliliters. Probably, probably about four or five pounds, I think. You, I, it's an agent of visualizing paint. I think you might get your second paint. You might, too. Well, I'll, I'll distribute it into a pint pot.

Anyway, this is a waste of everyone's time, Andy. Choose a name if you want to. Do you want to choose a name? Right. Well, what about Egyptian Kenny's timid, uptight, stock controller, but at night he listens to Egyptian music? Oh, he's vaguely interested to see by first. Tough date, just simple, tough day, I know it's just daft, innocent, fluffy fun. No, you know, you don't like that. Where about this? Mr. Late Nights. He does donuts in the car park, throws his KFC buns out of his car window,

throws stones out of his car. That sort of thing, you can go with shit. Can I be runny hot dogs? Can I be the Northern Powerhouse? Alright the Northern Powerhouse, welcome to the athletic home, it's nice to see you again, how are you? He didn't even offer the Northern Powerhouse. Sorry, what? What? Sorry, what? Hey, did you know I'm too little busy with, I've got a lot to do with it and I'm not, I want to get back to framed, but, Right.

So it's my fault, but this week, I bit of an acolyte from the hometown, because I was voted the best looking bloke, right? Yeah, the best looking bloke ever to walk over the transport of bridge So that's nice. I got a little certificate And secondly, did you know and this is true that you know our goalkeeper Victor Valdes Yeah, I've really yeah, well vaguely the most decorated football a currently playing football. Thank you World Cup Europe, I think we're whatever you called Valder's, yeah. He's got a dating agency

called Halla. So I'm not doing an advert for him, but you might want to check it out, because I reckon it's like a specialist app that specialises in keepers, you know, type a ladder last that you see and you think, oh, she's a keeper. All right, I see what you've done there, yeah. I'm not Andy. Let me re-enforces. You can look it up. I'm not doing a joke. I thought it was fascinating.

So Victor Valdas has got this dirt in there, and you see H-O-L-A. Have a look at it, check it out. See if you can find yourself a keeper. I'm tempted to have a look online right now. Do it, I've validated this, but I don't want to because I don't believe you. Well, I tell you, I tell you what I need to do it.

I've whatever. Well, people at home can do it. You can, honestly, I'm honest. I tell you when I'm telling the truth. I'm telling the truth about the gangs of the APL, which is coming up. Yeah. Oh, well, there we go. Have you been watching? I was celebrity.

Yeah. Since it started. Yeah. They got any tips. So you think it's going to win it. Since it started. Yeah. You got any tips? Have you think it's going to win it? Well, they're all a nice bunch aren't they? I think the whole nation's saying, So what? Are what a nice bunch?

But when they're saying it, I think, and so this is going to be a shit series. Well, I'd like to go wrong, won't it? Because they'll be at each other's throats by the way, again. They don't seem the tight-line day. I think they will, no. Just take one little thing. Okay, well, who's your prediction? Who's going to be the third?

Well, I think Scarlet's put it either way. You could have the first one. Who's going to lose their rag or the first one or the one who's going to cause the problem. Um, I think Holmes under the hammer fellers going to cause a lot of problems. Martin. Yeah. Gorgeous Martin. Yeah, I just think he's got a dark side on. Yeah. Well, he's always looked a bit of a state on arms in the amand. He always looks like he's been out on the, um, pop, plop. You're actually on the hammer the drink with an evening.

Well, he might, no, I'm thinking he might get a little bit randy because he hasn't got his drink. I think Larry Lamb, my prediction is that Larry Lamb will cause the problems. Right. Do you know how many years has it since you were on? I haven't been on it. I haven't been on it. Honestly, I haven't been on it.

I don't know why you're making some part. Are you sure? I haven't been on it. That's weird. How come I always associate you with eating inuses? How does them? Pfft. Yeah, that'll be it.

That'll be it. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Okay, so I'm going back in time here. So Steve's just left his interview for the job at Darby, which he got, yeah. So he's cooking a hope. He's got his new job. Mae'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r

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gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweith So it gets outside the eye prod Sean Dish it was interview before him if you remember is waiting for a lift back into town Yeah, it's bus back to Burnley Sean's wearing our that's Skargate or purple suit black and white checked tie white law for leather Trilby do you know that stuff? Yeah, do you know that stuff? I am familiar. Do you know that stuff? That's got you know that stuff? Yes We might have a catch phrase do you know that stuff? That's got to say. Yes Bob. Do you know that stuff? Yes. You might have a catchphrase. Do you know that stuff? Do you know that stuff? Do you know what to mean? Anyway, so he's waiting for a lift. Steve says, says him. He says, oh, have you been eating a calippo? Are a pumpkin soup or something? You've got orange all around your mouth. And he said, no, no, you are full slug.

It's me dispeared, it's me dispeared. My dispeared. Hey, he says, as a squirrel just burrowed in your head, because the tip of its tail is still sticking out. No, don't be a Rodney Plunker. That's my hair,. My hair island. Then a buff kind of comedy, you know Yeah, and so he's one of them that says me thinks me thinks and a pint of you all this finest

Sout you're man. Oh, that's you're so no problem or senior dashy Sir Steve, and so the both getting this clown car Drive driving along hunk hunk hunk on driving along, honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk get out of me way deep sticks we've got the Burnley shuttle to catch because you're gonna get the bus to Burnley the start chatting away Steve Sean, hey Steve you see Neil Warnock's eyebrows it's like he asked for a crack wax and the lady thought his face was his ass. Do the laugh again.

So I'm good fun. You do that all the time for us. So Steve says good one. Have you noticed that Mark Hughes hasn't got any lips? Looks like he asked for an anal bleaching and the lady thought his face was his ass and spell the words, Egyptian cotton. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Good one, El Maestro. You see, you seem David Moise bulging eyes, yeah. It's like, he just popped a blackhead and his ball sack of, I've messed that one up. He says think Steve I've messed that up

He says so try again. I'll try again I'm just fucked up. You see David Miles bulging eyes. It's like he just popped a blackhead on his ball sack and his face got stuck And his face got stuck. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Mae'n gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i'r gwybod i' gwybod i the house of yesterday's briefcase. Well, I know it was made you laugh because you think that'll punch you, Pete, but that's a classy sound in place. I'm laughing quite a lot of this, but it's all real, isn't it? And it's not that funny. Oh! Oh, the house of yesterday's briefcase, that's a right fancy drum. Here you'll need a tie.

And Sean gives him his black and white check tie to wear. You see Andy, which is now a sub of a minute because he had the look. So Steve's arrived outside the Mays on Valise D'Orge, your way. What does that in translate as Andy? Oh God. The house of the briefcase. House of yesterday's briefcase. You've forgotten briefcase? Yes, today's briefcase. Yes, today's briefcase. He can see that one of the windows in the restaurant's all steamed up so he there's briefcase. You've forgotten briefcase? Yes, there's briefcase. Yes, there's briefcase. No, sorry, Bob. You can see that one of the windows in the restaurant's all steamed up, so he knows the fat lass must be sat in there

and the other window. Then, like, the image of Sam Alladice pumping a waiter on the kitchen table with her legs banging against the bacon trays and a biscuit tins, just like makes some shuddering off. We pull themself together and he goes inside and the Metro D greets him, says, hello sir, the house of yesterday's briefcase.

Can I just say the most on your heads and absolutely adorable thing? No, that's not the mouth, it's me, it's me, I like my, I like my, so he sits down, I like quite, like that way to character, Andy. He reminds me of the one I first did. Oh yeah, the French fella. You like him, man, don't you?

Oh yeah. Sorry, I'm sitting down at the table with the big laugh. She's got, she's obviously ready to go on a trip. She's got suitcase, a ski bag. She's off to Austria, skiing, someone like that, you know what I mean. Hello love, you off skiing then. Ah fuck off you watery twat. This is, I'm in a rush, so I've ordered the four-bird roast with a side plate of pork chops for me and a bowl of custard for you off the kids' menu. Is that okay? Yes, of course, love, of course, yes, love, listen, love, listen, love, I was Casper, I miss him so much. You'll find

out when you pay me, me tones, it's thousand pounds. Yes, I know, love, I know, love. The money should be in my account by the end of the mail. Just tell me how he is and where he is. Do you know really that he needs to be warm? I'm telling you nothing, till I get my money. Okay, checking your father, your custard. So Steve starts to eat his custard, right Andy? And then he sees the queerest of things.

Say that like you were Stephen Fry, some it said the queerest of things. Oh, then he sees the queerest of things. Say that like you were Stephen Fry some it said the queerest of things. Oh, it sees the queerest of things. That's the fear, didn't the sense. So Steve starts to wait as custard and then he says, the queerest of things. The scape bag, right, behind the fat lass, seems to be spulzing and moving slightly.

Oh. And like the summit inside that it pushes its head through the flap at the top something you can see it emerging could it be Yandai? Could it be Casper? Is it? Yes it is Casper and he manages to pour himself about a foot out of the bag and his throat begins to swell up, right? Well, you know what that means, don't you Andy? It's got a spew. It's pure. Well Steve just wants to rush up and hug him, but he knows that that is too dangerous, right? With the fat last there, she kick his fucking face in. So, he throws, he throws Casper a look to tell him, don't, don't you dare, don't do it Casper. It's just a look Andy, but that's why it says no.

Don't do it Casper. And the swelling starts to go down. But he can hardly, he can turn his excitement but out of get Casper Andy without getting kicked in by the fat lass, what he needs to do, I think you'd agree, as he needs to, one, he could create a distraction or two, he could disable or or couldn't he?

Would you agree with that summation? Either one of them will look at one of them, wouldn't it? Then he remembers, and he's not stupid. He isn't one thing about Stevie Mac, the Mac Chasen Mac, Chasen Mac, Stevie Mac, one thing about him is he's not stupid. He remembers, do you remember the time that Casper danced on the black and white towels on the kitchen floor

and the yellow, the yellow shape of Casper was dancing along and it made fat lass up. Trigger the fittedness. What's he got around his neck and the tie? He's got the black and white tie. So thinking quickly, he lets some of the custer, the yellow custer drip onto his tie and a little bit more

Until the fat last notice is a fucksick And he says well can you clean it off from me love? So she like yanks him over by his tie over the table and she starts rubbing at the yellow stain, right? Rubbing and rubbing and as she does so her eyes start to bog up and she begins to sweat sweat You know god fuck it, it smells like when you've just opened a tin of corn, beef, do you know what I mean? Nice. So Steve winks at Casper.

Casper winks, winks back at him. The fit has now kicked in, right? She starts shaking, dribbling at her mouth and her legs start banging on the turban legs, right? Steve jumps up, grabs the ski bag, runs out to his clown car he's bursting with happiness right he's got a new job at Derby Casper's back in his arms and he can still hear the faint banging of the fat lass his legs fitting

you know against the table and the mayor's on the house of yesterday's briefcase and I hope that that name somehow is like, I don't know what I'm not selling dippity's the wrong word, but I hope that's a new start for Casper and Steven. And that's like yesterday's briefcase, you know, yesterday's business. Do you know what I mean? Right.

I see, yeah, that's quite tenuous. But you know what I mean? So, yeah, that's that briefcase. Is that the end of it? And that's for now? For now, when I'll have to go, I'll have to jump forward next time to to Derby, but that just fills you in with how we managed to get Casper back. Boy, it's brilliant, yeah, was in it. It's fantastic. He's reunited with his snake and she's a thrushing mess on the floor of a friend's rescue. Yeah, well, it serves her right, and she's really nasty to Steve, I think. She's a fucker.

Thank you very much, I didn't want to say that. Let's not beat her on the bush here. She's an absolute fucker. Talking of fuckers, Andy. Shit, I'm not, I'm talking of fuckers. Did you see the Cairnsbury's advert? No, I'm saying I get out, I've deliberately avoided it. Oh, man, it's three minutes, 40 long.

No, really. Oh, Jesus, and you know singing the song, ain't it, don't you? That's cordon in it. Yeah, it's cordon. I've got me, my fuse box, I've got it wired up and I've got a cable and a button. And now, I've seen the first couple of seconds. As soon as it comes on, I say the first couple of seconds,

I'll just press this button and it just trips all electricity in the house. Right. So the whole power just shuts down when it comes on. Just so I don't actually see it. Yeah. You know, by accident. Good, so I wish I had someone like that because I'm still a bit turning. What do you do at Xmas by the way Andy? Do you get frozen turkeys? Skiy, a fresh turkey, slices, just a big chicken. What? Just a frozen turkey crown. I'm just gonna stab it. Frozen turkey crown.

Well, just stab that by myself usually. What, you stab it on your lap? The whole crown on your lap. Why, why, why are you, why are you discussing stuff that we said we were gonna see for the Christmas special? I've never, you've never taught, I've never mentioned anything about

the Christmas special to me. What's the most important thing that I've got some questions for you. Thank you. About your celebrity lifestyle. Yeah. Would you say that you're in better or worse physical condition than Gordon Stracken? I'd say I'd say I'm in worse condition than Gordon. He's a little wiery Terry Ernie, so worse thank you. He, but he's starting to show easier to you bit now. I mean, you're both small, you're both look a bit sickly. And you know, if you were a stranger and I saw you in the street, I'd probably go up and ask you if you needed any help. It wouldn't take much for God to look like a last

one, if we both had longer air and like a bob of lap. Yeah, it wouldn't even need to be that much longer, you could just have a bit longer and got it done in a bit of a bow font. Yeah, and put a bit of lippy on them. Yeah, it would be like Mr. and Mrs. Mortimer, wouldn't it? Perfectly, I set the war woman. I think he's fitter, I think. He is looking a bit old, but I think he's fitting me under. All right, fair enough. Quite self-deprecate in there.

Have you ever touched Nick Nolves? Nick Nolves, which ever touched Nick Nolves? Nick Nolves which ones? Nick Nolves is either DIY Emergency man. No, I do I. So S. Lithuania. I've never touched him. No If you could touch him where would you touch him? Well, if I imagine him a nice white shirt probably a man. He did I tell you I've got an amani white shirt No, you didn't I go from the I go from the out foundation that's that's not really the issue anyway so I you'd be in the quite a tight white amani shirt and written a nice bottom hugging pair of pepper jeans yeah and I'd give them a tap on his bot right yeah

when I said where would you touch him, I meant geographically rather than physically. Alright, Peterborough. Okay, thanks. Third question, we all know that you're utterly useless and do it yourself. Yes. Which celebrity would you ring up and ask to come round and change the ink cartridge on your printer? Ummm... Oh, oh, God. Well, I'd say nicknuals because that's just...

Well that's a very dull question all you just said in their Missilebriety. I mean what with specific ink cartridge skills. Well ideally yes not just going to be any celebrity is it. You know Mary Berry couldn't do it. Well Davina McCall lives quite near so I'd ask her she's probably got nice. Do you need long fingers to change ink? Jets I couldn't do it. Well, Davina McCall lives quite near, so I'd ask her, she's probably got nice. Do you need long fingers to change ink? Jets, I've never done it. I don't know, just as you ever mentioned the right taste skills before when you've sported with her?

No, I'll tell you on this with you. You made me doubt me choice now, but I'll stick with it, Davina McCall. I mean, I tell you what, with Davina she'll say, I'll come round, but I'll bring me me Francis, who's a genius at it. So, yeah, I get onto Davina she'll say I'll come round but I'll bring me me Francis who's a genius at it so yeah I get on to Davina. Right so you say there's a proxy sort of thing. Do you know you were talking about getting a Claude sauce and a some of the dry you clothing on? Did you ever manage to get it? No I never got one

no but if any companies out there that make them would like the senders one I'll be well up for them. I just thought maybe if you got it in time for Christmas you could you could cover it with some rap foil round isn't it? It could do was a Christmas tree for you couldn't it? Very could do as a Christmas tree for you, couldn't it? Ha ha ha, very good. Well, you know, I understand your pride makes you laugh, but you attempt it, aren't you? What? You're serious there. What's the best present you ever got? Do you have an instant answer? Oh, I love this, you know, when I got this present, I'll never forget it.

A yellow bike. No, a yellow bike. I've got a yellow bike. Like with little flashes of red on it. Wow, that sounds fast Andy. Was it the fastest bike ever in the world? Your little fat legs pedaling like a goodden. All the way down to the news, there's just to get some little pink shrimps. And I didn't even pedal that fast because it was such a good bike. Did it have gears and everything? Me yellow bike. No, no gears. Just one gear, top gear. Top gear, yeah, yeah.

It's all the, full speed. It's all you need. We all have a legs under. You do anything you want. You go anywhere. I might, I might, I might do a song about it if the next week actually. But you're heavy legs pedaling that bike.

No, a yellow bike. But I think probably your mom and dad, quite right, they thought, look, oh, they're jordies, aren't they? I presume. He would better get one and a, would better get one and a nice bright yellow bike like because then it'll take attention away from his fat legs. Do you know what I mean?

And I'm a parent and the as you are, and I know that's how parents will think, oh, I hear it's seen him outside with all the kids gathered around him laughing at his fat legs. Do you know what I mean? Is this, you know, going to be unsure with his little tracksuit charts we bought from JD Sports? Anyways, my, um, a scale electric was always the big present when I was young. If you knew someone

who got a scale electric, was, no, well, you obviously don't want to talk to me about this. What do you want to do then? Can you think of a number between three and 42? Yes, do I tell you it? Yeah, I thought of it and I'll tell you it. Yeah, I'll go 28. 28, right, so it's 2016 now. I go back 28 years. That'll be 19, 18 years. Okay, and a number between one and twelve plays three three Alright, so that's the third month of the year that'll be March 90 years Number between one and thirty Jesus Christ Get on with it 29 29th of March 90 years right Were you mostly a total ballend or a massive fucking intolerable shit? Andy at that time I remember it well that I was in the Entronable shit house a massive one

Good thank you for taking me back to those times. Are you wanting me talking Christmas or something? What are you I'm gonna task you about Christmas? They cut with the new adverts on it. I feel a bit Christmasy. It's not it's the it's a fucking middle of November What you talking about Christmas for? Beive. Fucking hell, all right. ["Fuckin' Hell All Right." ["Fuckin' Hell All Right." ["Fuckin' Hell All Right."

Hey, listen, do you remember you got what you do with sitcom with Vince Parsons? Yeah. The standard comedium. Yeah. The observational comedian. Well, I've done that. All right.

You're like, here a bit of it. All right, I'll look at you a bit, with his wife Marion. Okay. And they're just sat in this seat. All right, Andy, Andy. I'm gonna keep him, it remain completely quiet, right, Andy? But can I just do a thing, tune for it first?

So, are you ready to go? Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, What's for tea? Almost not that garlic bread again. Someone's already done a nostalgic routine about that back in the 1919 Fins listen, we've had some more of the letters One from Npower, one from the cut log If we don't pay up in two weeks, Npower seer will come in and fit a pre-peer in me there Listen though, remember power cuts, Marion? Back in the 1970s! They were enough, were they? Sitting round in candlelight playing board games on ice by? Or if you were lucky, you could have a cheeky kiss and a cuddle at the cake warm. Sorry, I want a bit blue there, Marion, sorry. Vince, Vince, this is serious. The letter from the catalog

says we've got seven days to bring the payments up the deit, or they'll send the bailiff sin. I'm scared, Vince. What are we going to do? I got some work, so don't worry. I've heard they're bringing back wheels up as a shunters. I could get some work as a warmup on Bullseye. Bullseye finished in 1995, Vince. Do you remember catalogs? Marry him. Do you remember catalogs? When you were a kid you'd sit on the floppy and the city with a catalog and and fellas you know what I'm talking about. That's right you'd look at the toy section. You see what did that Marry him was make the audience think I was referring to masturbation.

But then I made it about toys, clean, but with a hint of blue. Perfect for the bullseye crowd. I don't think it worked Vinse, it was quite weak. Oh, oh, anyway, what's for tell of fancy an Indian? Listen, listen, hey, you don't even allow the carlem Indians anymore. You've got to say Indian take away oh we can't afford an Indian Vince there's just a small tin of Heinz spaghetti and two slices of white were more like crusts that's all we've got in Braggs! Hey, don't you music again now? Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, We're to here what I'm just actually The use of the M word offended me, but that's my sensibilities Andy. Do you know what I mean?

Sorry about that. Well, he does it does go a bit blue now and again He goes go below the worst. I'm sorry just for me. It's just such an an awkward word, you know Yeah, but there you go. That's the character. I can't help what the character is. I just inhabit them. Okay Gangs of the EPL! Everything's moving very quickly at the moment, and of course the big story, the big question of everyone's lips is why was Harry Kane sent home from the England camp? very quickly at the moment and of course the big story, the big question everyone slips is why was Harry Caren sent home from the England camp? Yeah, well let me tell you right now Andrew, you've had nothing to do with football or

injuries and it had everything to do with trouble between the Tottenham White Art Gang and a certain Mr. Theo Walcott, leader of the Arsenal Peaky Gunners gang. But the incident is so massive, I'm going to have to cover that in a go-to pull, go-to gangs of the go-to pull special next week. As I promised this week, I'm going to tell you about the big pieceme in the big powwow that took place two weeks ago between the two rival spurs gangs the show was in the white hearts alright yeah okay right so the venue was the garage is the garage are these mums house when I say a garage is under I mean they're massive right it's like they've got four white garage doors and then you probably fit six car and six seven cars in it

you know you know the type of place I've seen them on the films, yeah. At one end it's got a little lounge sort of area with Sophos PlayStation, sound system, fridge, got a terrible tennis table. It's where I used to do it was caught in when he was a teen edge, you know, I had out with him, he was in the soul, cos I'm a, do you know what I mean? Lucky lad. So Eric Dyer, Debbie Ali, get there first, they all arranged their jet black cars and like in a fan ship outside the Gallagher's, you know, to impress the show with Toby and Vans,

like a fan ship. Harry's got a black range Rover, Eric a black Maserati Quattroporte, yeah, and Debbie's got a Fiat 500, yeah. You've all got white heart more teeth on the bonnets, a'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r fforddd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r ffordd o'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweith our shoulders. Things are going very well indeed says Eric. Okay says Eric right next up what about snacks I've got derrily jippers what's it fridgeers butterscotch waffles or would you just like me to have me to bring over a nice selection of biscuits you go with the tea. Eric and Derby quickly o'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r gydwch i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'ch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwybod yn fwyfnwch i'r gwyith i'n gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith. Mae'r gwaith, Debbie, mae'n gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r gwaith yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r ymdyn ni'n yw'r yweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r

gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r g eraill i'r ddebu, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r ddod, a'r d staring and singing I'm a desks I'm a desks rock me I'm a desks so harry not to be beat uses a remote turns his sound system on and they start singing let me entertain you let me entertain you so it's a like a cultural sort Mae'n gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r

Gweithio'r gweithio'r gweith i'n ffwrn i'n ffwrn i'n ffwrn i'n ffwrn i' o'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r lletru'r lletru'r lletru'r lletru'r lletru'r lletru'r lletru'r lletru'r lletru'r lletru'r lletru'r Llythru'r lletru'r lletru'r lletru'r lletru'r lletru'r lletru'r lletru'r Llythru'r lletru'r lletru'r lletru'r lletru'r lletru'r lletru'r Llythru'r lletru'r lletru'r lletru'r lletru'r lletru'r Llythru'r lletru'r lletru'r lletru'r lletru'r Llythru'r lletru'r lletru'r lletru'r lletru'r Llythru'r lletru'r lletru'r lletru'r Llythru'r lletru'r lletru'r Llythru'r lletru'r lletru'r

Llythru'r lletru'r lletru'r Llythru'r lletru'r Llythru'r lletru'r Llythru'r lletru'r Llythru'r Llythru'r Llythru'r Llythru' Llythru' Llythru' Llythru' Llythru' Llythru' Llythru' Llythru' Llythru' Llythru' L You see what you think vans what for me and you have a game of terrible tennis to decide on this difficult issue

Torbie and vans right they put the hands and each other's trousers pockets for a bit and whisper then vans turns to Harry and says Game on so that's what's gonna be decided and he is a game of terrible tennis Well, it's best of five sets in its 2019 to Harry, yeah? Right. Match point, okay? It's match point. Is it gonna be the white heart or is it gonna be the show?

So it's a long rally without either I'm giving an inch, then suddenly Harry's feet give way on some biscuit crumbs that Debbie spilt, right? He falls on his arm and the bat flies out of his hand, right? Debbie's eyes start filling with tears, and Eric falls to his knees, thinking this is it. And then Vans pulls back his forearm, ready to smash the winning shot, yeah? Suddenly, Harry leaps up from the floor, off the floor like a salmon, leaps up, and using his chin as a bat,

he fires a winning shot, past the despair in Vatongan, and Harry's chin's won the day, and the spurs gang will from now on forever be the white hearts. You hang on. Well, it can't use his chin as a butter. You can use the chin as a bat in this. Look, can't. Well, listen on, you win Harry. Now let's get down to business. Thea Wulcott and his peaky gooners must be brought to their knees. Okay, so obviously

I'm just saying, Vatongan accepted the outcome. Well, I know what you're making. a'r ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn ymdyn yn y a moment just in that one moment Van's thought with the unique shape of Harry's chin that he was actually using his back would you accept that? Well, if that's what you want to explain it as, yeah, fine. Well, your story, mate, is long, won't it? Yeah, but you know, it was long and you've basically just fucked it up at the end, but you know. But there you go. Well, shall I cut it out?

Well, I'm doing me Scottish song. Well, if you're doing a Scottish song, that means that you haven't got time to explain the annuity that the football league period every year. Oh, she had never told people about that, have I? No, well, for the, what was it, it's about a penalty, isn't it? Something that could... No, no, no, don't you start fishing for it, Andy?

No, it's a move that you can make within the penalty area, yeah? That can only lead to either a penalty to being awarded to the attacking team or to a goal. Right. And the football league, P.U. and I knew it, it came quite a bit. Well, because football's finished. Yeah. But it was finished if I revealed it. So if you're a bit. But we haven't got time for that to do so. Will do you score a song instead? Yeah. And that's also something you wanted to do at finish and day. I've had enough of this now. You sound a bit like you've had enough of it to be on TV. Yeah. Is it a long one? Oh, let me have a look. Yeah, it is a bit long. Yeah. Do you want to knock it on the edge? No, no, let's have it. Okay, that's a good upset when I'm fucking this. Oh, this is fucking hell. This. Thank you for that. This is the tale of Murray Sterling.

His 18th birthday was fast approaching and he knew he must escape the clutches of the island before that date or before to spend the rest of his adult life in the caves beneath the island, digging for precious stones to adorn the lords, numerous ceremonial caps and his bongos. His dream was to start a new life on the mainland, many times he imagined himself wearing the orange and blue tabard of the B&Q organisation, guiding customers towards the wallpaper paste or replacement fence paneling, laughing with colleagues in the staff room as they jatted to each other through short lengths of drainpipe. Sometimes he saw himself in Caffeineiro

buying a guest-been Campuccino and requesting an extra shot from a waitress with plenty of debt. And for sure he would submit the relevant forums to gain residence rights at Oak Firch Island with that poor flame-man in his dozy son and enjoy the cozy wooden lifestyle at Offert. But for now he needed a boat, and that was an illegality in the island. The lured employed a giant of a man, not only as the boatman. He would such the island every day for evidence of boatbuilding and smash what he found with his spiked iron ball and chain. The boatman's face was always covered with a hessian hood, but it was said

that underneath he had the face of 13 chickens. The face of 13 chickens. The face of 13 chickens. But Mary had been clever. He had assembled his craft inside the old lighthouse, a place that no other, including the boatman, would trespass for it was reputed to be the home of mainland Mary, a specter similar to the lamnia that would devour you with pure buttery love. Mary knew that such talk was bullwater, so it used the lighthouse as a safe heaven to build his boat. The night arrived and Murray entered the lighthouse and began to enter his hand-built boat, that he had fashioned from hardened turquy tads, joined together with sticky glue. Suddenly the room was filled with a golden light, and his heart

was instantly filled with joy. A figure appeared in front of him, more beautiful than the very centre of desire. She wore a blue and orange tabard and was seated in an oak dining chair. Beside her was an occasional table, again made a walk. I had a bookshelf made from imported oak. She had, she had tuts the spare on a bottom that stretched her full length. She slowly leaned forward to offer him a cappuccino, ready poured in a paper cup with a wi-fi code written upon it Drink me Marie Marie drink me drink me Marie Marie drink me. She chanted She was the mainland and he wanted to reside within her

Then boom the door to the Roomba's open and Instraught the boatman the vision of the lassie dissipated and he was all alone and in fear. She gave you, sorry I changed my voice, she gave you a window into your life on the mainland, but that is all you will ever know of it. The boatman began to remove his Hessian mask and what Murray saw killed him in an instant. The boatman had the face of 16 hours, the face of 16 hours. So that's a salatry tale about trespass and another tragic end to another Scottish song. Yeah, there you go. It's a sad old place, but maybe one day someone will escape. So that's nice, Andy.

I've got the gangs of the EPL Big Story. They are a cane incident. And I've got Robson, Jero, Mantendek, to tell you about next time. Good, good. To be honest, research has shown that the majority of our listeners think that I'm the funnier one. Yeah. And that they actually want to hear more of my stuff. Well, then you, so, well, I perhaps, I can accept that Andy, but you got, well,

do you want to, do you want to do, um, do some, some more next week? I think if you just maybe do nothing in the next one. Okay. next one okay and I'll do all the stuff it's a deal. I won't do nothing I'll talk about Christmas till you stop me and I'll do me Thank you.