Athletico Mince - Ep. 53 - Long Legs, Short Bodies

Episode Date: January 25, 2018

A big meeting of the Gangs of the EPL, more Fake or Legit, Peter Beardsley reacts to recent events and loads more... Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost almost anything. So no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea and ice cream? Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats! Get almost almost anything. Order now.

Product availability may vary by region. See out for details. Alright, honky-tonk. Alright there. Was that a commencement sound plus statement? It was statement, you know. Stip and sigh. Ver verbal yoga. I used to see it. It was you know, I tell you what? What? What made that up? What did you make up? Then it was verbal yoga. I mean, see that to you about a year and a bit ago You did and it never was yoga bullshit Bullshit because you know, I'm looking for a new start in mechanism for the show Yeah, I mean I could get in before you get the chance to do one and what about an item? It's I'm thinking like Chris Evans getting in before you get the chance to do one. What about an item? I'm thinking like Chris Evans or something like that.

I know, it just makes you love thinking of his cheeky smile, you know. I felt like I was part of the posse there. Nice one Chris. What about an item called interesting stuff in it? So like, do you know, you know, like you get a new stomach line in every three to four days? Do you think that's interesting stuff? That's true. Yeah, no, where'd you get a new stomach line in every three to four days. Do you think that's interesting stuff? That's true. Yeah. Now where'd you get from?

I got it from a medical encyclopedia. I put it up. It was really thick, really heavy. Now, but where does the stomach line come from? Well, are you producing it? I know. You know, you produce it with your cells and your batter and all that. What about them?

Is something interesting? Have you ever heard of a moza lamp? And the number this is interesting stuff. A moza lamp is the Moas use lamp in the whole world and no one's really heard of it. What is what is it until? What is it? Because it's a bloke called Moza invented this lamp and all you do is you have like a see through liter or whatever plastic bottle, right? You fill it with water and you put a bit of bleach in, right, put the top back on. And it's used throughout like Africa and the Philippines.

You know, people who live in places like Shanti towns and stuff where they don't have windows. Yeah. And you put half of the bottle out through the roof, right, half of it inside. Right. And during the day, obviously not at night. During the day, not at night, you get like the equivalent of a 60 watt bulb. That's the mozzelamp. So, you're when you're down the shop buying the bleach to put in there. Yeah. Put it, could you not just buy a lamp instead? Eight, but what if there's no electricity?

Oh, right. I got you. You know, you're making these assumptions. Oh, this is interesting. It wasn't that long. Interesting stuff in it. So that's why it's called interesting stuff in it. It's a good start. Strong.

Bit like local radio though. In it. And so, I was, let's start with it. Not with the Sunderland sound. That's right. It's okay. Let's start with not with Sondland sounds. That's right. It's okay. Let's start with the Sondland scenes. Right, scenes.

Cause I was up north east for the Villa match the other week. Yeah. I went for lunch to the cliff in Roarca. Oh yeah. You know, that's a good spot in it. I do, yeah, I do know the cliff. You do know it. Yeah, yeah.

Have you been in there? Not for a long time. Well, I like going there for me Mints and Dumplings. No. Cause that's a specialty. And, yeah, have you been in there not for a long time? Well, I like going there for me mince and dumplings No, that's a specialty and um, I didn't want to get bothered so I took me mince dumplings and we paint into the toilets and sat on the pot And I just see you get mince and dumplings and the cliff for about three quid. I think it was three pound 40 Yeah, and we're sat in London where you'll be a fiver for a plastic pot with a hard boiled egg in it and a leaf. So where you go it was the twat. So what you're pointing out, we didn't know, like yes, Sunderland's a shitter and London in.

That's what you need to get more bang for your book. You do get a lot of bang for your book up there, you do. So it was quite busy now, there's a two at the sink having a piss, you know, in the sink. And a cup will it the uralols? is that how do you say it up there? Urinals, urinals? Yeah, urinals. Watching the faces like, and one in the cube, but go next to me, growing like a bear whose foot's on fire, you know what I mean?

Right? A quiet lot of blood on the walls to be honest with you. And you know, from toilet banners. Wonder morning, was it? Yeah. I actually toilet banners. I might offer you that as an M toilet banners. I toilet banners. Anyway, one of the blocks that you ran,

I was washing the firsts, he says like, I sure would you like to see him in you dance lake? And I said, I look no galley. I said, got a story content within the dance you know like unstrictly why I it's a boot of blow up so sweaty you can't get a loss and then this last comes along who absorbs sweat and neutralizes it when enclosed cognac such as dancing says oh it's a love story then is it galley

says you're supposed but it's more about symbiosis. You know, on futility of relationships based on selfish needs. And that's quite good in it, what he said. Because people don't really quite write up in Sunlilana. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. See what you're doing here. Anyway, it says, songs are crack, guys. Just like, strictly, let's see it then.

So the blow, right, takes a tin of hot dogs out of his pocket, right, takes all this kit off. He's got quite a sweat on and it's like collected on his lower back and around his thighs, like then slowly and he really slowly. He lifts his right leg out in front of him and stretches it out. He's just balanced on one leg right pretty clever that isn't it it's good um he fell asleep and said yeah I'm loving this galley it's like a circus it's like a toilet circus then galley dancer he drops a tin of hot dogs on the floor in front of him and hops a few steps right so his position directly above it yeah then he raises his arms high above his head, you know, like a ballerina, yeah, right, and bang! As a shit right on top of the octop, yeah.

Jesus, Gary, that fucking reeks! I thought it was a love story! He says, I had was a fucking love octop, me! And the dunes dunce shows you like that you're always shit on those, you love what you reckon! Says I had a fucking cracker gas, best dunce you've done in ages, and the story was as moving as fuck now, how we get your kid on and let's get some mince and dunce down one X. And off the went, so that was me little scene from Sunderland to start the show off. Beautiful. How was the Minster Nuttland? Minster Nutt's a beautiful, they're best in an off-aiced.

Yeah well, you got them. Be honest. Everyone wins. I guess. A love story, yeah. Yeah. What else you got? I was life in Sunderland for you and I'm just chitchatting.

I'm alright. You know, I came down on the train this morning. Yeah. I had a bit of a nap because I had came down on the train this morning. I had a bit of a nap because I had to be on the train at my six this morning again because of your needs and demands about the time you come here. I like to do the podcast around you know before 11 o'clock. So some having a little snooze on the train and I just I got to walk up I just felt this kind of thing brushing against me face a little bit. I instantly, you think of Fox? I think what I was out there, and I woke up and staring right in my eyes about,

about a millimeter away from me face. Yeah. Soon you, oh fuck, get called then, Jeremy Corbyn, one minute. Yeah. And now, so he says, uh, Soon you there catching some zeds. I mean 40 weeks were you? Thinking of properly done Rip Van Winkled, don't you? I thought fuck really we got all right, all right Jeremy, all right yeah yeah and he says

ask me my best sleep. Go on, ask me my best one. I said I said was it was it for the entirety of the newly of a government 1997 It's no good chicky little shit. I spent that time providing valuable checks and balances to what was an as a nine and some would say treacherous administration Right, okay, so I says he says um ask me my best sleep. I said what was your best ever sleep Jeremy? This is nine hours This is that's not much is it isn't it? So now I know is this pretty average I says oh

And they went off and he pretended to get off at Stephen's yeah But I saw him get back on again in the next carriage up. Yeah. So that was the last of the story of him. So what's, that's intrigued you that. So I mean, because on the first of it, that wasn't worth telling me about Andrew. But are you thinking he's gonna go in the next carriage and bother someone else and see if they're in class

for nine hours late? I just think it was embarrassed. Yeah. And I think he pretended he was gonna to go off at Stavilage. Yeah. So that he wouldn't have to face any further humiliation. Let's see if you want to check them and throw... I mean if you got...

I've got three to offer you. Um, Leanne Jessup. Yeah, you know, it's perked you up a little bit, isn't it? It's like she's kind of like a Cheshire housewife, you know what I mean that vibe You know married a sort of that vibe, you know Married a block who owns a car dealership something like that. So she never asked a craft. Yeah, right all cleavage and legs, you know Got a bloke's face, but looks okay, you know with a big air and a miracle upon a couple of hours. Yeah but looks okay, you know, with a big air and a marco on a couple of hours, yeah. Having an affair with us being's best friend and once gave Phil never a hand job.

Oh! So that's Leanne. Hmm, it started well and then it peaked it out a little bit. Okay. Not as keen as I was 45 seconds ago. Test tube galley. Right. Right. First test tube, baby, in Cumbria. So that's historic, isn't it? That picture, right. First test tube, baby, and cumbria. So that's historic, isn't it? That picture, yeah. Looks like Gary Munk or Karen Matthews, you know. Same thing. Yeah, like a big, like a squaddy, basically. He's a delivery driver for UPS as a big chunky ring, right? Like this. So when he bangs on your

door, it's like your house has just been hit by a shotgun. Right, right. Mum died of belly belly disease, which is dead. Which is dead, took surprisingly well. You're I don't know, but you have to think you might be tempted by that. A little bit more than I was by the first round. Mark or Crumb crust. Now we're getting somewhere. Divorced, balding, short and fat. You know what I mean, I don't. Works at a small engineer in Firmland in Midlands that makes coils like for immersion haters, yeah. Loves his food bread crumbed.

Right. Bronzefish, chops, chicken, even veg. And he likes to sprinkle a few breadcrumbs on his puddings and it was cup of tea. As a little dish of them on his workbench that he pecks at. And he's considering I'm gonna be crafted on those lips So that's Mark or oh you could just be or on the other side. I'm fine You know what sometimes you just need to stick to what you know and I think I'll be Mark or you're gonna be Mark all crumb crust

A lot of that ran true I've got a couple of choices for yourself as well. Oh, thank you Well, Jeff Kettle, 43, 5 foot 6. Describe to yourself as a call center renegade. Okay. He's worked in 24 call centers in nine years since he got laid off by Datsun. And his ploy is, and he's first a new job in a call center.

He walks in and he punches the biggest fellaroo works there. Yeah. Straight off so he can assert his authority. Right. And then the surprisingly lenient about that kind of thing because there's such a high turn over stuff in the call centers. Of course. The turn of blind eye also it helps the maintain some kind of hierarchy which they like. Also he started covering his mouth when he talks because he's saying the footballers doing it on the

tally. Right here. That's Jeff Kettle. I like it. I think that you know lamp in the blog. I'm not I'm not so I like the fact he covers his mouth when he speaks like that big thing. Yeah, I'll cover mine. What am I saying now? You fucking bastard. What did I say? There's a condom here It doesn't work Yeah, all right. I just said he does it so you can be him or you can be the bootleg Roy Weggley Yeah, 53 obsessed with former Coventry City striker Roy Weggley,

lives in a caravan, which is done up how he imagines Roy Weggley's South African home would look, animal heads on the walls as trophies, and he wears one of them hats with loads of cocks on string hanging off them. Unlike the actual Roy Weggley, he's currently fighting and winning along running battle with a tapeworm. Did you say his commentary player Wiggly? In the Coventry Cup we are. I've always liked Coventry clubs. Do you? Yeah, they were always, we're now a young Covent Man City with a fashionable clubs. Because of the clubs?

No, that's wrong. They were the clubs whose fans were the most fashionable. Coventry? Yeah, very much so. Yeah, they had lovely Arantons and stair presses stuff. I always look good. I looked a wealth in that period because of the car factories. Yeah, and they were, yeah, jaguars down there. They were first division.

And you were middle-sprice obviously, you were looking up at anybody that could walk on the hind legs basically, right? Well, not on it. Yeah, fair. I mean, we're put a jacket on by themselves. I mean, I always, you know, I have a got-sundland, but like I always say, that middlespritz thing, I get a bit, the arse of the world.

But it's my town, and I love it. Yeah. And I like the fact that the people of the- Still live there anymore though. Chosen not to live there. But I got there every week. I got there every week. That's a lie. That's not quite a lie.

I got, I went to see his play I got there every week. That's a lie. That's not quite a lie. I went to see his play QPR this Saturday. In 1995. No, last Saturday, Andy. Three, four days ago or whatever. I was in the pub before, and the pub, I was like, Borough Fanshygur, this pub on Sheppard's Bush. And a couple of nice lads gave me a cat.

I love Shepherd's Bush. Yeah. Wasteland. Yeah. So you didn't go in the middle? No, but I couldn't eat any throat. So I spent my day with the fork of Middlesbrough and that's because Andrew, it was in a way much.

Right. You know, we don't play it all my week and they very kindly allowed me to be photographed with a new bold spork pie, mini pork pie, which is the UK's greatest mini pork pie, that as a child they allowed you to be photographed with it. Yeah, because that's a privilege. And as a child, as people from Middlesbrough remember, we all used to buy a mini new ball to pop pie before the match and throw it on mass at the opposing keeper as he ran to his goal. Anyway look whatever. He's a thing that don't do anymore which they used to do when the opposing keeper would come out to your into the goal at the start of the half first or second. Give it all that and

then when he clapped back he got... they got wise got wise to it, Andy. They're not raw bots. They learn, you know what I mean? Do you know what I love that still happens? If a poor and player hits a shot and it goes and we over the bar, the wolf whistles. Yeah, I wish I could do that. I can't, I can't. I'm not gonna try and do one now,

but the wolf whistles. Give us your best whistle now. Whee, whee, whee. Oh Jesus, that's sweet. Oh shit, I haven't got me, I haven't got right, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't

got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't

got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got me, I haven't got Well, I'm always interested in you. Let's keep them quick. Why? I'm in your year, Andrew. Simply you. And what new years resolutions did you make? Was it try and make your netmas give up the facts? Was it get a new prompt for your alçation? Tell us. What was your new years resolution? New years resolution will be to try and be better on athletic or mince and to not just repeat lazy tropes that have existed in lots of previous episodes such as the Alsie Ocean and the Pram and all that sort of thing.

Okay. So that was a little dig at me really, wasn't it? Well, not your wife, because she wrote questions. You don't make this stuff up, do you? Andrew, second question. Do she's a wife. She's not you. Of course. Andrew, second question. Yes. Do they have a bus service in Sunderland? Or is there nowhere anyone wants to go?

There is a bus service, yes. It goes around and around the perimeter of the city. And you can get off, hop on, hop on, hop on, hop off. Yeah. Any time you like, depending on whether you want to go up to the skips or the quarry or Which way the trays are yeah, and a people just go around around Keaton warmest boss don't they? The burnt all the floorboards for the fire Cloth wise or there's aren't you clockwise blue or red bus and

Drove pick others another one. All right, I don't know Deep down in your heart. Do you wish Sports Direct sold food as well? You don't really do that. Not really that fast because in Sports Direct in Sunderland is right next door to Dixon's pork shop. Dixon's pork. Yeah, we're this all Savloid Dips and you are within 35 seconds stroll to a Greg's as well. Yeah, but one, I think the point of me,

wife's question is, can you imagine the food that they would sell? Can you imagine the porcity of the meat, um, length within the sausage roll? Yeah. Be pencil, wouldn't it? It would, but you would love it. Well, you would love it. I tell you, you would love it. Hey, have you noticed that I'm looking a little bit slimmer than pray Christmas?

Tiny, tiny bit. Lost a couple of ounces though, haven't I? Yeah, and maybe you two ounces, yeah. Definitely, I'll give you that. I've been going to the gym. Yeah. I've joined the gym, I've enough doing maybe you two answers. Yeah, definitely I'll give you that I've been got the gym. Yeah, I joined the gym. I've been got the gym and I've done I've done a little song About keeping fit which hopefully will inspire some of our listeners to get down the gym and maybe loads of ground Well, if it does it is worth it. You want to hear the song? No, we're gonna his welfare. Do you want to hear the song? No, what are you gonna do? I'm gonna write a song about keeping fitter, keeping fitter, keeping fitter. I'm gonna write a song about pumpin' iron, pumpin' iron, pumpin' iron, reps, rips, curls and flips, ups, press ups, all that shit.

Push it to the limit on the rowing machine. Sweating my tits off if you know what I mean. I'm going to write a song about keeping fit, keeping fit, keeping fit. I'm going to write a song about pumping iron, pumping iron, pumping iron, stretching, lunging, forward roll Shifting 50 ounces is my ultimate goal Hanging with the heroes on the monkey bars Jamming loads of steroids up me big fat ass That was my song about keeping fit, what do you think about it?

Cobbers There you go Was that your attribute tribute to Mark e Smith is it? You know what I've actually done that before Before he's death was announced So perhaps he did die yesterday morning Perhaps some of his spirit was passed into my body. Yeah, and mind When I did that song body and mind when I did that song. The song was alright Andrew. How about the message the underlying message? Well at least I can hear what you're saying. Well no you're getting yourself down in the gym it's a good message yeah and if it reaches any coppers and fit the

coppers is a better copper, isn't it? So how many marks at a time would you give that I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, He's be honest with you. It's a bit of an explanation right to what's being going on Okay, that's that's good. It's good. He's got this platform So I feel obliged to read it out really fair enough But we get to read it out or is it a recording that he's writing recording that he's sent me yeah Malo and you might know I paint You have been in trouble this week over bullying So and you might know I paint a Ben and Trumbo this week over Bully in the young football and this is a young cattle. So I'll tell you a bit of the announcement. Well you might know I paint this Ben and Trumbo this week over Bully and young footballers. So I was surprised when I got one message for him. So I'll play it for you, Shala. Yeah. Right, Leo. I'm going to a bit of a trauma that way, like you know, I started shunting it when the

young lad's coming and dosing following, but really bad day for me and the ladder thing. It didn't mean like a little bit like that way. So I suppose I should the shoelace explain, maybe you know, it's no... Anyway, the day before I couldn't sleep, you know, I got a banging and a lot from the Albanian fell in the next door, like, I think, take your constant chop chop chop.

Like... Bit like a two of you is doing carpeting, you know, but only is carpeting and lofting the middle of the night and the night and the night. She's certainly not a you kissing. Mae'n gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio'r ymwch i'n gweithio' about five, and putting in the tent and then letting go, and then me down, staring me up. I put a ball of gold and silver in the might of it, and it was a text two minutes. It wasr gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith. Mae'n gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae'r gwaith, mae' it's so simple, like anywhere, you know, all over the laminate, up the sun, the cabinets and the brood of brook. Now, I'm cleaning up and I'm messing up, you know, I'm putting it, not when I hear the wife come downstairs and like, I ship myself because I'm brooking the stairs of the brood. Mae'n gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweith one you know he said that in southern but I think that you must have just

heard that because I've seen the dad ones all over it tell me no well I picked up the painting I'm just gonna stop his recording there Andy just press pause there I've just paused yeah it's pretty long this are you willing to tell her it's pretty long this so you will let the other way. Oh, absolutely. It's pretty long this. Yeah, all right. Okay, press put, clear. Okay.

Well, I'm quick on the night, you picked up the pensions and the wall and you wrapped them in new spirit with them last night to put you, sweat them and chips and pop them in the Anyway she, I write my adi look on her face N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n Hey What was that for? A noise I just stepped on, like a weird thing Sounded like something smashing Why have you got me mobbed without permission? Well, I think I'm, I think I'm me feeding a toilet I dropped me cup of tea Mae'r fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'wybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'n gwybod yn fwy'fwy'n gwybod ynch i'r cyflwy. A'r ymdwch i'r cyflwy.

Mae'r ymdwch i'r cyflwy. Mae'r cyflwy. Mae'r cyflwy. Mae'r cyflwy. Mae'r cyflwy. Mae'r cyflwy. Mae'r cyflwy. Mae'r cyflwy.

Mae'r cyflwy. Mae'r cyflwy. Mae'r cyflwy. Mae'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r i'n gweithio. Mae'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r i'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi' It's work the day to upload it to the point. And when my wife went to Mushroom on the tour, I'd bit beyond me way in here. Oh, Peter. So, there's our Peter.

Yes, so he had a really bad day. I don't know whether that's the mitigation for him, you know. Well, I can't condone that kind of thing. It's difficult isn't it. I mean if we were at a call centre and he'd gone in and just lumped them on dear one that would have been our right but you know. Yeah. Not whether there's a rehearsal on the mental or as well you can't be doing that. I mean it's truth what he says like you know don't judge someone till you walked in their shows but that's kind of something Jesus would have said isn't it? Yeah so we we'll see what happens. Yeah, we know we don't know

What's been going on under we saw we will see what happens Do you remember buying individual cigarettes in paper bags, hey in a paper sweet bag? You could buy them when you're only 14 as long as one of your party had a brass hand One of your parts he had a brass hand. I, I, I, I, I. I've never noticed, right? I've never noticed that he regiators often make a glugging or rattling sound at this time of year. I've noticed it, and hope you've enjoyed being reminded of this simple fact.

And did you know that payacens do a range of attachments for your brass-san, including a key to bleach your radiators. Good afternoon, my name's John Wittleward, so let's play another game of like all-edged. Oh, hey, it's dumb. More contested to die. Mr. Bob Marmer from the world of entertainment. Good afternoon, how do you do, thank the Bob Marmer from the world of entertainment entertainment good afternoon how do you do thank you Bob Marmer hello dub, lovely to see you yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah well you're playing the

day for your chosen charity which is cats with ambitions that's right yeah we all like that don't we? Me all like that. Hopefully we can raise some money for the cats with the ambitions today what I'm gonna do Bob Marmer I'm gonna present you with three items and I want you to raise some money for the catch with the ambitions today. What are we going to do, Epo Boomer? I'm going to present you with free items. And I want you to have a look at them and tell me if you think they'll fake or if they legit. Here we go. I am number one.

It's a Tiffany necklace. Here you go. Touch it. Feel it. Spell it. Tell me if you think it's fake, but I'm looking for you. I don't feel right. You don't feel classy.

You got food, you got food. You're actually right. Yes. It is fake. If you want to win an app and look inside, there's a little drawing of two three then the right is pop star yeah so there is yeah I got it for a pound from pound land okay I am number two Bob or Ma it's a super dry sweatshirt from the super dry as a fashion you could put it on if you want but I prefer you know you ever look see what you think You

Um Our fingers is fake I think it should have a different label on it I know this no I know the soup Jalab it doesn't look right. I think it's a wrong color or something Yeah, does it look super yeah looks good. Nothing. Yeah. Does it look super? Yeah, it looks good. That's nice. Is it joy? It is joy, yeah. Find the chicken, Bob.

Is it? Is it by any joy? That's what it says on the label. So it says it's it. It's legit. You've got all wrong. That's one out two. Fine on the one.

Here we go. It's a gold plated cigarette case. A kind of James Bond or Davey Williams want carry around with him, high class fellas. Have a look, see what you think, is it fake or illigit? Okay, what are you saying it is? A cigarette case, will you keep cigarette sin? Well, I can't even open it, I don't know. What are you asking me if it's, is it fake or is it?

Fun games called. I think it's probably legit. You read him. Yeah, record. Right, when it's is it? Is it fake or is it? It's fucking game's called. I think it's probably legit. You read it? Yeah, record. Right, when it's for you, there you go. The only thing inside it is a dry-dacked tapeworm. Tice, not legit, it's fake. You've lost.

Well, you could have put a cigarette in it. Well, I got a cigarette in it, is it? It's got a tight one in it. Done, man. You've lost and now it's catch with ambitions. Won't sleep easy in that. I'll let Bob Bortoba try again next time. Thank you, good night.

Thanks for having us done. Get out. BIRDBORN You went to see three billboards, didn't you enjoy that? I did enjoy that. It wasn't as good as the other thing that I was going to talk about that. So are you familiar with the motorbike trials Yeah, I did enjoy that. It wasn't as good as do the thing that I was going to talk about that. So

Are you familiar with the bike trials ride at Dougie Lampkin? No, he's the best. Yeah, and he did. Is he a mountain? Yeah, and he did. There's a documentary about him. He did a wheelie around the Isle of Man. Oh, right. No really? The Isle of my TT course. He did the whole lot. 37 mile Wheely. And you watched him do it. It was on, it was on Skye Sports. It's not on on demand, unfortunately, but there's footage of it on YouTube. 37 mile, two hour Wheely. Fucking out. That's the dream, isn't it? That was better than three billboards. So three billboards wins in Oscar and then he lumpkins fucking to our wheelie doesn't yeah, I'm gonna be pretty pissed off. I've watched it a lot recently. I mean spirals back and I love spiral right. I watch what's out of cartoon. Were must I know French cop thing best car thing there is. I watch Snowtown movie

which is like about the bodies in the barrel the Australian acid barrels case which is like about the bodies in the barrel, the Australian acid barrels case, which is a fascinating case. Is that for both the current club? Yeah, snorkels, it's shit though, but I do recommend you go on YouTube, there's loads of documentaries. Do you say dockholes, I do. Dockholes? Yeah, I've got into that habit.

I say I love to the wife. I'm feeling a scousel, watch a dockhole. Yeah, I would like to. I'm a bit wacky. Yeah, watch a dockhole. And I've been watching a lot of bodies in the barrel. Two much, two much. One of them is really is too much.

He was a blog, it's like sort of trailer trashed Australia. And he sort of like hung around with, blog who dressed as a lady. And he believed this blog of dressed as a lady would tell him, yeah, um, you're like an agossopie way who she thought were the pedophiles in the area. Right. And he'd slice them up and put them in barrels. Is this, is this factual? Yeah. Yeah, Australia's worst, um,

right. So this is bodies in the barrel. Is that, is that a theme? Are they all? It's just known as the body. If you want to check out that story, it's just you look on your body's in the barrel case. It's not like a disson the barrel case. It's a different story about bodies in barrels every week. No, it's not. Because I've been watching, I watched a movie called Wind River.

It sounds shit. It was our ab, but I've written a movie, what's it called? Wind River. Sounds shit. Right, it was our ad, but I want to facet it. I've written a movie, what's it called? Wind River. Fuck off. Well, that's... Well, you could miss out on quite a lot of movies, but if that were, if you were the producer,

say, and that could be it. Well, I think I've... Come up with an exciting... Anyway, the actress in it. The actress in it has got one of those bodies. I want to facet it, where they've got really long legs, right a very short body, you know, the distance from neck to whatever is very short component. Now, it's interesting, you should look out for them, they're interesting pavelers

and other two, because do you remember the middle's football geneno? Yeah. He, one of the reasons he used to, he was so quick over the first like five meters or whatever. He had he had he had really long legs. Like a giraffe, but tiny little body. And another one. One of the Antelombop. Yeah, another one is Rob Beckett, you know, Rob Beckett, the comedian. And not me nasty. He was he was showing me what I did, I think, called Taskmaster with it. He has got luscious long legs like a like a from a six foot seven bloke Really short body so then the actress in wind rivers. They must struggle to buy one's easy

He said it. He said it is a problem ones you guys. Yeah, so I mean, I maybe we'll have a look at some programs next week And because we'll be this is definitely developed into something something right because we're being... This is definitely developing something, something right. Hey, I'd like to take you on an episode of Gangs of the EPL. So anyway, a lot's been going on and I'm always obviously only keeping an eye on gang problems during a transfer window, you know, because it can stir things up a bit. And one of the most significant, of course, has been the transfer of the boss of the Peaky Gunas, Theo Walcottcott who's gone to Everton. Right. So I was lucky enough to have one of me spies at the ceremony where Theo handed over control of the Pekis. So I can tell you

I went down. I don't know if you could do that. So Theo had issued what's called a Gumada. Is it the Gumada? It's a mafia thing. And that's a demand like for all the Peakeys to meet a CEO's mum and dad's garage like and it requires other local gang leaders to be notified, right? To bear witness to the proceedings. So you've got Harry Kane invited from the White Arts, Andy Carol from the Hamlets. And he's a Nazard from the Daven Bells, you know, the Chelsea mob, right? Whoa, that world just opened right up in front of us there. So it's a bit like swimming on the sopranos where the bosses from the five burrers would come together. Yeah, that's exactly what is the Northland.

It's the local gangs. It's called a Gu-madam, right? a'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r ffodd o'r Wilshire and his mum had done an eye-spread olope, sam sandwiches, ad-boiled eggs and some Doritos and dips you know for the foreign lads. First to wrap was Andy Carroll from the Amlads, yeah. He's just in his white and purple one piece motorcycle leather's because that's the Amlads uniform. So Thia's mum says, Hello Andrew, He goes, Hello Mrs Walcott! What a lovely garage you have! And that's Fred looks delicious! Thia's mum says, Can I get you a drink?

And Snackers on for an Andrew. I love a crumbly dough, and I had boiled eggs, and that's all I like! Oh, I'm just picking fruit! Well, Mrs Thia leaves, and it's all a bit awkward, so Andy says, Mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r oes, mae'r fwy gwrs. A'r fwy gwrs, a newboss, a'r fwy gwrs, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a newboss, a new You must be a wanger if you want to go and play it an old stadium like Sothea says, let me just leave it out, Carol will you?

Jack says, you don't leave it, I'll leave it in my last swear down. Your stadium's only leasore, that's the sort of thing about that for us your period and then caught to you crying. Then either, as I had arrived, it is full Chelsea kit you know straws in the garage and trips up over a bit of egg shell that and he's dropped you know so as it says did you see that did you see that can you cannot trip me up Mrs Walcott Mrs Walcott the big last trip me up he needs to tell enough I haven't thought of a name I haven't thought of a accent for us out yet okay so Mrs. T comes back in what's going on here did you trip him up and he

I never he's just been a funny Jack says I swear down Mrs. T nothing I'm he's just doing his funny act Mrs. T says well there's a security camera in here so I can wind it back and have a look. Of course I even, Edden is it? The panicked you know he says like he's belted you in any. Yeah. So that's just like, so it's alright Mrs. T. No that's weird, it's like Jack's. But oh Plano, Plano is, I'd anyway, it's alright Mrs. T.

I think I'm a murder funny move, you know, sorry, or bothered you like. So she leaves just as Harry Kearns arriving from the White Arts, you know. Hello everyone, can I just say that this meeting has come to terribly inconvenient time for me. I was meant to be going around debbie's to watch American pie. So forgive me if I'm in a fluffy buffery. So what's this all about? It better be boots look crucial. So yours go on whoever says Jack. So we have to choose in a new boss I swear down on not even lying Harry says ever turn I can't Harry's voice I'm done for so long but they haven't even got a new stadium that's stadium is very old and unkempt you imagine well have gone to

Paris or West Ham they'll have anyone and he says we've got to do stadium and it's massive as well as you Yeah, but it's on the leasing it if things go tits up when you could be facing a kick-mug leave And then where would you be being the right pickily tips with? Think about that for a short period then cut to you sucking you fun Theo says right come on. let's just get to the point. I propose Jack as the new pit boss of the Peaky Gunners, are there any objections? Ari says, it's fine by me, as long as he doesn't smoke in any meetings, that would be a major worry.

Smoking is a filthy habit and an insult to the good name of the APL gangs. Just thinking about it gets me in a fluffer. Jack says, I swear down, I never even have smoked a single cigarette, I don't even know how to smoke, and he says, I don't have a lily, I would just say that thinking about it, the average is not really that new, you know what I think, it's just to put that on record like an arsehole that sunshine went all dry for the nut getting past its best bit.

But anyway, whatever yeah. So Thierry says, right so if we're all agreed I would like to formally hand my very a heavy and expensive woolen peaky boss hat over to, well just at that point the clown car horn is heard and into the garage straws Sandy Kazzala. Hey guys it's Sandy I've got balloons, facepigs, pinyanas, fantasy masks, funny putty, let's have a garage party! Oh hi Mrs. T, are those the rados for me? Theo says, can't have a Santa, we were just voting, or no should be the next Pakey boss. Have you got any objections to Jack?

Hey, I couldn't give a prick, guys. I'm off to Spain and June with Arzil. I'm just here to party. I love to party. You want some black man bar? So that the hat gets handed to Jack. Santly puts his reggae reggae son splash party sounds on and as a dance with Mrs. T Right as I had as a dance with Theo, but he trips up over a Mouse's little anbag that was on the deck and he has to leave the earth himself and he as predicted

Cutto is in the corner crying and sucking his thumb. And Ari, as he leaves, gives this warning to Jackie, says, Well Jack Wilcher, now let's see you has gone, your numbers are diminished and the white hearts have a new medical advantage. Also, you don't have to use that garbage as headquarters anymore, so that must be very upsetting. Soon you will be feeling our ferocious hate. Jack lights up a cigarette and picks up Andy's cranberry juice. Harry said, I thought you said you didn't smoke you little tricks to look fips. Jack says, oh Jack fuck off Harry. Jack throws the lukewarm juice at Harry and the bulk of it hits his chin.

Oh yeah, he said, not my chin, my precious chin. Do you not mean I'm sick, cranberry juice, especially at room temperature, leaves a terrible stain. My chin looks like a beacon now. Once they're just sniping down, Jack picks up another glass and Ari just legs it. So Jack says, look in, look in, run away. Typical white hats. Sandy gives them a blast on his spice pipe and they're party till well after nine p.m. Whoa.

Did you think that film was a bit like Deja Vu with Denzel Washington? Yeah, whatever. Because it actually really is. Yeah, is it? It really is. It really is. Wind River, did you see it?

Yeah, Wind River. So Andy, that's about all I've got to offer just for a day. I'm happy with that. It's enough for me. I've run really nice time actually. I thought I was enjoying it, but I've enjoyed it a lot. Oh, I'm glad to know that, I think I've been troubled about any of this.

I want a two bits but it's fine. So I'll take them, I'll take them, slings and arrows. Ooh, ooh, ooh, see ya. Say, Bob. It's fall and you can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a maple tree on Uber Eats, but maple syrup and maple lattes? Yes, we can deliver that.

Uber Eats. Get almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See you after details.