Athletico Mince - Ep. 54 - Crunch Crunch Ooops

Episode Date: February 19, 2018

German shampoo, vending machines, Harry Kane goes up against the Klopp Tops, Dom Littlewood hosts a brand new quiz, an update from Peter Beardsley and loads more... Become a member at https://plus.aca...st.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Music Hey, are you gonna start with your sounds of sun? You start signing Alan. Pollocks. Yeah, I've got a song. What? I've got a song. Sounds of sun-lin' song.
Starting point is 00:00:24 Yeah. So I just sigh. No? I've got a song. Sounds a Sunderland song. Yeah. So I just say, no I'm starting with Chris Evans. Have we started? No, we some weren't for your say. All right. All right, I'm not letting you finish that say, Andy, because I want to crack straight on with this podcast. And I like what we hinted at last week,
Starting point is 00:00:42 which was the section called Very Interesting, in it, which is Chris Evans. It's a Chris Evans style, right? So you're like me gang, like a second fan. The posse. Yeah. You're a second fan, right? So, here we go. Well later on we'll be playing Chris's wacky crazy monster monster cruncher thorn. You say crunch cruncher. Crunch cruncher. Oops! Hey, hey, hey, I drove into work today and the men arterial roads in the London were really busy. Am I right?
Starting point is 00:01:10 You're always right, sir. You're always right, sir. Yeah, you could have said Chrissy, Whissy. Hey, so I'm in a cab on the way home from an owl roast, right up in the mates. Maggation buttons. And the cabbie takes me back to my house and I give them an 8,000 pounds tip and I
Starting point is 00:01:26 want off or what? You are sir. You are? Yeah. No, you should say yes. One in a trillion zillion Chris. Yes, you're one in a trillion zillion Chris. That's right. Now on this day 1985 the last red telephone box was installed. I want you to tell me some of the crazy, wacky things you got up to in red telephone boxes. You'll get on the phone to the man with five horns. Get on the phone to that man with five horns. That's right, but first up it's very interesting in it. Hey, did you know lobster's blood is colourless, but blue were exposed to oxygen. Crazy shit.
Starting point is 00:02:04 Crazy shit, crazy. Yeah, I know. Did you know if you join all the blinks you do in a day together, your eyes are closed for 30 minutes every day. Ah, crazy shit. Ah, crazy shit. Ah, crazy shit. Did you know the elephant is the only mammal that can't jump.
Starting point is 00:02:21 Crunch, crunch, hoops. No, no, no, it's not that andy. It's ah, ah, crazy shit. So not that Andy. It's ha ha crazy shit So that's it. I'm afraid you fired. I love this job You see like to see that's the end of that very interesting in it. Yeah, it's like is it satirical? I don't know Andy I don't think so. So what is it spoof? parody parody that's a lot that social comment social good Well, if I've made social comment, that's social comment, social, well if I've made social comment
Starting point is 00:02:45 that's nice isn't it? I think we've all learned something. So Andrew, I'm like I'm busting through this right, cause I'm in a pretty good mood cause I'm going for lunchtime drink. Oh I, yeah, I'm with, I'm with Arabella Weyer, oh I'm fast sure, from the telly, I've been asked a bit of booze of a lunchtime. Nice, nice touch, good to, Romans the rest of the day of course. Yeah, you'll be put, Arsenal, then the train going home as well. Yeah, well, I'll be singing this song because I've got a song, right? And it's a celebration, Andy, of the day,
Starting point is 00:03:14 last week when you and your kids got your discount family raw macard, you bus pass from the council. And you had a lovely day out, visit in the sights of Sunderland on the fun buff. Right, here I go on then. Do your song now I have to do this sort of thing. Get it up. Or is this more stuff that I've got to edit into the fucking song?
Starting point is 00:03:33 Oh, fuck sick. Here it comes. Put your sports director in a raxon, Puts your dumplings in the flask, Filling as the bag with chipkin crisps and shout, Nooo, Dad, hey, it's the fun bus! Daddy will we go to the docks? Daddy will we stop the KFC? Daddy can we go to the dump? No you can't, kids just shout, hey it's the fun bus Once we're on, keep your vips out of sight
Starting point is 00:04:17 I brought a pan for you if you need a shite On our left is an illegal tip and over there is a crack addict on the right is a dog in a pram he's barking, look dad hey it's the fun bus can you see the motorway we'll drive it in the clown car one day?
Starting point is 00:04:48 And do you see the Trumps hotel? They shouting, hey, lad, look, it's the fun bus once you're on. You can't get off, there's nothing to see, so it's no one's loss. Dad don't feel it really sick. Dad I think I need a piss. Dad how come you have tits we hate saying. Hey it's the fun bus. Can you see the sky TV van? And the donkey by the caravan? The fat bloat by the blue drink Stand the shout and Jesus wet Look, it's the fun bus
Starting point is 00:05:35 Can you see the retail park? And the factory where they render pork? Sorry, Dad, I've shit me pants, it's the lack of suspension on the fucking fun bus once you're on, you can't get off, there's now to see so it's no one's lost. Yeah. Do you enjoy that, Andy? You've put a lot of effort into that haven't you?
Starting point is 00:06:05 Yeah, because I have very little return. Beautiful image, you and Kalamankana, waddling down to the bus stops again and the fun bus. You don't know about me quads do you? Oh, you beginning at the gym, have you? No, no, make me sons. What's your name? You've got all your quads? Yeah, yeah. Oh, I thought you meant the gym, I know you've been going to the gym. no, no, no, no, you look pretty good. I've buffed on it. Is my what I say about the gym like for lulls and that right?
Starting point is 00:06:32 Yeah, is I bet you go on the machine, don't you for about 40 minutes the vending machine that is Huh? Do you get it? Well the vendor machine, you know, and just eat loads of and crisps and that does like lots of quite healthy stuff now. I think this is a good time to mention that our live video is available online. Yeah. If you go to Athleticorbminz.com you can watch us parade around the stage. Good fun, wasn't it?
Starting point is 00:06:59 In London it was loads of fun, I love to do it again. And it's only £1.50 to buy. No, that ain't bad. 99 Pents to rent if you already fancy watching it once. it was Lord's a fun I love to do it again and it's only £1.50 to £5.99.99 pens to rent if you're already fancy watching it once. Go to the thread the call minutes.com 75 minutes. You'll one more check again and again. And you can download it and take it on holiday with you. So over to you Andrew, I've dominated proceedings very unfair.
Starting point is 00:07:22 I was going to give you a choice of a couple of names before we get going. If you do it, rest in the front door. So do it. Right, name number one, sexual tainer. She's 53, comes from Wakefield. She's made a small fortune selling wooden pallets against all the odds in what was a very, very male dominated industry.
Starting point is 00:07:40 Correct. She started with one pallet, which she sold or had dad when she was nine, built it up from there. She wears a nicotine patch that's got sherry hardwired into it, doesn't wear any nicca's and insists on telling this to everyone she meets. Against all the odds, I love that motivational kind of phrase. I thought you would try to put that in, to try and entice you. Second name is quite simply Probe Tube 1.
Starting point is 00:08:02 Right here, I'm not out, this This is be something to do. We are sex robots. No, that's all I need. You out. That's it. All right. There's no backstory. I don't remember from quite a while ago. I offered you Probe Tube 3. And did I take it? You didn't take it. You wouldn't have it. Well, why am I going to take Probe Tube 1? Because you said you wanted it. Because it's the original. Yes, the original Probe tube. Is that it? Any more? That's it. No, sexual tainer or Probe tube. I'll be sexual tainer. Thank you very much indeed. Well, you can of course. Where it well you can of course can be hunked hunk. It's entirely your choice. No your hunky tongue. I'm not going to go on it. Your hunky tongue. What a man. I'm running hot dogs. Oh runny hot dogs. That's to say. What's this
Starting point is 00:08:36 episode 55 now? So look we've got to crack on because I've got to get to this lunchtime drink right on time. Yeah you don't see overly keen on hanging a room for too long. With no explanation really, you can be dreary-garry. Yeah, it's pear-shaped. Right. You're going to be tense Matthew. He's a beanpole. Or you could be father biscuits, right?
Starting point is 00:08:55 He's funny. The only thing with him is his face is mainly forehead, you know, but his eyes and all mouth and nose are very close together in the little circle, right, middle of his face. That it? Yeah, I just be the middle woman ever that was. That was tense Matthew, he was a bean pole.
Starting point is 00:09:09 Okay, I'll be him. Anything else about him? No, I didn't bother. No, I'm very nervous. But it sounds like he's father biscuits. You could imagine the children in the streets saying, it's father biscuits. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:20 It's probably in Sunderland, rather than the ice cream van coming, do you get a biscuit card? Haha. Hey, there was a Sean of Ops Suns last night, I didn't watch it. I don't know what you don't want to do the dart. Oh, you went to the dart of the Premier League dart, yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:35 What I don't understand, we always is, like, you're hatred for some of the darts players. You really hate, is it snagged by it, you really hate? I don't want to hit the man. I hit the dance. I hit the dance. I do the dance in my living room when he comes on. Yeah, yeah. What, in time with him, like he's on the track. Oh, I'm trying to be best.
Starting point is 00:09:51 Obviously, you've got like what, 19 screen. So, I'm running on a 55 inch at the moment. Right, Andrew. But are you like sort of parallel with him facing him and going along to side by side while he's doing it? No, I don't know what you would call it. I'm at a right angle to him. So your opposite sides of the TV and you sort of meet in the middle and cross over?
Starting point is 00:10:09 Yeah, I you could say that, Andrii, I don't think these angles are going to win interest to anyone, you know, me relative to a television. I'm interested. You hate Taylor as well. Taylor's gone now. Yeah, but you hated him. Yeah. Why? Because he comes across as a very unpleasant man.
Starting point is 00:10:24 And myself, I a very unpleasant man. And myself, I'm a pleasant man. Oh! Oh yeah! Now listen up though. Right. Can I just say it? I was at the door and before a single door had been thrown as Mencesoulovich was making his way up towards the
Starting point is 00:10:42 shaky finger, the villagerie it. Yeah. Yeah, as he was making his way with the shirky finger with the shirky finger the villagerie it yeah as he was making his way as he was making his way up towards the walk on start position yeah a fella there was there was like four or five fellas all in little tiny blue dresses and long blonde wigs yeah one of the man handled Mensa right and was ejected from the arena before the first walk on of the first match and even begun like that son of a He didn't, it was Neil Castle. He'd invested in a blue dress, a wig, possibly a little bit of beer. And he was out on his ass before a dart had been thrown. I mean, I must put out, he may be public information here.
Starting point is 00:11:17 You got to be careful at the darts. They'll throw you out at the drop of a house. There's a massive list of what you can't take, you know, where, or what you can pull. More football colours. Yeah, how quickly you could move your iris from left to right drop by the house. There's a massive list of what you can and can't take anywhere. What you can do. More football colours. How quickly you can move your iris from left to right when you're looking at the crowd. It's really tight, really tight.
Starting point is 00:11:32 And security's tight as well on the way in. There was a lot of people complaining about getting body scanned on the way in. The sort of people who probably would have put ribbons on their face, but pages after the Manchester Arena attack, but you know. Let's not talk about such stuff, please, thank you. I'm not wearing jeans today, Andy, and it's the first time I reckon in the flesh you've seen me without jeans. I've noticed what are you wearing, Cheetos, and what? It's a kind of chain, oh yeah, do you see it?
Starting point is 00:11:59 Yeah. Dark blue. That kind of thing a twat might wear. It's fully enough. I've put them on the very week that my son, my youngest son, wore jeans for the first time. And this week, yeah, and I couldn't, you see being wearing, well, no.
Starting point is 00:12:14 He won't wear, he just refused to wear jeans on his life, but he's bought some this week. I was seeing wear shots. How was it? Yes, cargo pants. Cargo pants, that sort of stuff. Yes. And I said to him, I said, well, what sort of jeans are they?
Starting point is 00:12:26 This is by a text. And he texted me back saying, Gatwick Dads, you know, must be a young thing. I said, so what's a Gatwick Dads, Gene? And he said, oh, it's like really comfortable big on the ass and that. And it's what Gatwick Dads wear before they get on the plane.
Starting point is 00:12:44 Right. To keep more get on the plane. Right. You know, to keep more money in the UK. Right. I'm detecting a bit of a similarity in the relationship between Peter Badesley and his son and the relationship between you and your son. What would you think, that's the truth. Because he's just basically just communicating with you by text now.
Starting point is 00:13:02 Well, that's what they're doing. They're just speaking to your face to face. You've got that all up ahead of you, Andy, when they fly the nest. I see you using one of those large comedy pencils, and they, I've never actually seen anyone use one to write with. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:14 I'm just ticking off each item as we do it. That's from there. I know it's two hands. I honestly didn't know they had a pencil in the computer. It's a beauty, isn't it? So you've got a very lucky life. Got it from Flamingo or Land near Scarborough. I ain't letting this get here!
Starting point is 00:13:30 I never touched them dogs by the way I didn't care what you heard! He listened to me garden new to the deer and the kids next door was playing football. Anywhere the ball came over the lower wall between me house and their house. Landed right at me feet, the kids shouted, hey mister, come here for a ball back please! Right there it was right at me feet, a quarter chip kit, what a jackin! A jackin! No I nicked it, then I fucking burst it on me, scroll driver of one million times Angry
Starting point is 00:14:08 Lenny biscuits then he biscuits live from Sunderland he should be on like one of those channel five programs Never's a never never from hell is a little bastard. Yeah, they're quite exploited of them things though Aren't they were very watchable very watch over very watchable. Yeah, well said Very watch over, very watch over, it was said. Do you think you're going to say, oh, other wives question, no, let's go South Africa. On one day we were filming like in a like a creek, you know, lots of bushes, long grass, rocks and that. So we had to have a little talk from a warden fellow first about the different types of snakes we might encounter. Outer reactive, we come across one suitable cloth, black, black, black, very interesting actually Andy. The main thing it turned out was like just to be snake aware you know keep your eyes on the
Starting point is 00:14:53 floor for example when you're walking because the puff adder is really lies out in the sun and it's really well camouflaged so if you see one just walks slowly away right sounds plausible software black member must lethal snake in the world yet now interesting that has a very distinct smell like burning rubber so take that as a warning like burning rubber if you smell that black member black member that's a very interesting warning order that in it and a a burning rubber don't you think is it? I think so. The African spit in cobra, yeah, be it'll
Starting point is 00:15:28 raise its neck up. If you see it puff its neck out, you know that cobra is do. That means it's about to spit. Put your goggles on because it'll spit at your eyes. Right. I need to retain this information, don't I? Oh fuck yeah. Be particularly careful near bushes, right, the vine or twig snake as it's called exactly mimics the appearance of like a small branch or a twig yeah, disturb it bite yeah it's actually 90 it's actually the smallest of the nasty snakes it's really thin but long, yeah, but funnily enough, it is the most lethal on
Starting point is 00:16:07 account of the fact that there is no antidote. Is this leading up to some comedy? Yeah, but I thought I'd fill you in on me day. Yeah. Hunts its food by smelling for don. Ooh, the vine snake, nasty, and there's no antidote, right? So we found the little piece, I'm dragging a cart with some beer barrels in it.
Starting point is 00:16:27 And when I've got to the right position, if there's a bit of tape on the floor, you know, a glugga of some beer at the end of the shot, there were about 20 takes. So obviously I'm desperate for a piss and shit fist. No, I want, no, I want shit for it. I want ya, I don't think so. I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:16:44 The warden, so I need a piss in the warden, points me to a path through the bush and says, to me, walk up the path of our hundred yards, you'll see a little clearing that he's put a bucket in. He says, there's a green flag on the far edge of the clearing and you must face that flag when you're peeing. So the smell doesn't go, so the smell goes away from the crow.
Starting point is 00:17:06 And absolutely no shitting, because that'll attract snakes. So I walk up the path, start to be pissing in a bucket, first in the flag. Suddenly there's a tap on me shoulder and I feel the steel knife gets we throat. That's not very nice, is it? And the steel knife gets we throught. That's not very nice is it? And then I turn around and this fella says, no I don't turn around just yet. So then I just fella say, turn around and don't make a fucking sound.
Starting point is 00:17:36 So I mean, Andy Wocken, I do, he's got a knife and he's specifically requested that I keep my mouth shut. Yeah, he says, Pull your trousers down to your knees and insert your thumb into your anus. Well, I do, I do as I'm told, and I can't. Got it. I want to hear it. Got it. I've got the option. He said, now remove your thumb and rub the cack onto your willber. So I did, right? Put my pants down and then rub some cack on to me and Johnson, you know, like,
Starting point is 00:18:06 then he pulls out this long thin plastic tube with a twig in it and he takes the probe tube. Blah, I have no idea at this time, and he takes the cap off of one end and holds it right next to me Johnson. So, we would say Douglas. So, we say, the while the twig starts to move, right? And I can see it's not to get all it's a vine snake Now you now you're glad you knew the information from earlier. I forgot the most steadily of all the time The other the other day. No, I did it. It's head emerges and it's tongue staps lapping the air I only a couple of inches from me dying. Yeah Because of course it can smell the cack that he's made me rub on it, you know?
Starting point is 00:18:48 I stitched it right up. Yeah, presumably he thinks that me dying is just like a little mouse or something, you know, that for his tea. Well I'm thinking this is it and this finally this is it. So I just closed my eyes waiting for its fangs to sink in, and you know, but nothing happens. And then I hear a sound, hear the sound of what sounds like a man falling into the floor.
Starting point is 00:19:11 So I slowly open the eyes and shoot enough on the floor, then front of me, it's the bloke, and he's got a crossbow bolt in his chest, and the snake's nowhere to be seen. Fuck. Then I hear the warden. Take that, pick it up. You're a kite cave, Eddie! I said, yeah, but I thought I was gonna thank you so much. He says, yeah, it's a good job, I'm a fucking pervert and
Starting point is 00:19:34 was watching you, Piddle. I says, all right, so that's why you told me to first the flag. Yeah, I've got a little hide there. We binoculars and subnibbles are fucking love it Got a little what there a little hide. Oh heart. Oh, yeah So so well thank god for your little hidey hole. So did this bloat want me dead then? Yeah, that's why he used a Biny that's kind of Shirley, don't it? It's a difficult. Biny that's why he used the Biny fucking gang bangers. You caught a love them By the way, you tell anyone about my fucking secret and I'll rip your fucking guts out with this 1960s spanner I said oh the secret's safe with me mate so it's a bit do you think that's a bit like the movie Platoon you know I think in the wardens a
Starting point is 00:20:18 bit you know that kind of was the bit where you said what was he said something like I didn't think I was gonna make it yeah yeah I didn't think I thought that was I wasn't I kind of thought you were going to make it because you're like hey now so there wasn't that much suspense that I was apart from that was really good What's your favourite song? The most favourite song in the world. The most favourite song in the world. The most favourite song in the world. The most favourite song in the world.
Starting point is 00:20:50 The most favourite song in the world. The most favourite song in the world. The most favourite song in the world. The most favourite song in the world. The most favourite song in the world. The most favourite song in the world. The most favourite song in the world. The most favourite song in the world. The most favourite song in the world. Yeah, whatever, yeah, obviously, obviously thoughts are. Over to you, Andrew, what's your record?
Starting point is 00:21:05 Is that the single question from the wife? Yeah, it's just the wife's question. If you'd listened more carefully, I said the wife's question. Because I've got some questions for you from Mikwads. Alright, Josh, Josh. Oh, so there's not four is there? Josh, Jack, Josh and Jik. Alright.
Starting point is 00:21:21 Bob, those creases in the skin at the sides of your eyes, are there what you might call laugh lines, are you just fucked? Just fucked, hadn't they? Okay. Oh, was that one from because he's on the nail? No, it was from Jake. All right, you're done, Jake. If you were in a hostage situation and you had to inject yourself with some paint in
Starting point is 00:21:38 order, it was scape. Yeah, implausible, but this is the question. What kind of paint would you pick? Well, I'd use an emulsion, because it's water, you can clean it, which is water-based. It's going in easy, wouldn't it? Going easy, come out better.
Starting point is 00:21:52 Finally, third question. What's Bob's shot for? Robert. No, I think they meant why he used to shot. Why you saw it? Ah! Oh yeah! Ah yeah!
Starting point is 00:22:04 Well done. Thank you very much. Got that one under the wire. I've seen these adverts for this shampoo from Germany that's got caffeine in it. Yeah. Do you think that's genuine or a wind up? It always fusses in it, it's me. I think it's the Germans sitting the piss.
Starting point is 00:22:23 Yeah, are we not? It's always from Germany, isn't it? Yeah, it's obviously, it's like, that's the piss. Yeah, are we not, because it's always from Germany, isn't it? Yeah, it's obviously, it's like, that's the K-cell, is it from Germany, so it's bad, that, that, that, that, it's from Germany. It's from Germany, it's gonna be good. Oh, it's got caffeine in it, go on, rub it in your hair. Liquid engine in, I can't believe the set goes off the,
Starting point is 00:22:36 goes off the shelves, like, shit off a bucket, don't they? Well, they do, but I'm curious, I just wondered what you thought. I, I'm like, yo, I'm curious, I've got it. Right, yet, yet to make any conclusion. So we'll see it inconclusive on that one. We could return to it. What about the Phillips Gorefield adverts? Do you understand them? I don't know. I think it's what they call ironic, but ironic. I don't know. And I'm being genuine. I don't understand them. I don't know. It's just... Well, have a look at them. you'd brighten them up. Tell me.
Starting point is 00:23:05 He's pulled from the school field on, just like he's bald in one of them, I think. Yeah, but I don't know what he says like, it's said that we are like Philip Skorfield. Yeah. Right. But Skorfield's like me, he's a nice fella. Oh! Well, have a look. Can you come back to me next week?
Starting point is 00:23:20 I'm not going to say that legally. Yeah. Can you come back to me next week? Tell me what it's all about. I'll try and remember that. Yeah Hey, listen, it's a while since we've had an update from the secret soccer superstar, isn't it? Oh, it is a long time So shall we have one of them right now go on do it looks of us top top players need to think about life after all football careers So we try to get good investment advice to make our money last longer a'r fwy'n gwybod ymwch yn fwy'n gwybod ymwch yn gwybod ymwch yn gwybod ymwch yn gwybod ymwch yn gwybod ymwch yn gwybod ymwch yn gwybod ymwch yn gwybod ymwch yn gwybod ymwch yn gwybod ymwch yn gwybod ymwch yn gwybod ymwch yn gwybod ymwch yn gwybod ymwch yn gwybod ymwch yn gwybod ymwch yn gwybod ymwch yn gwybod ymwch yn gwybod ymwch yn gwybod ymwch yn gwybod ymwch yn gwybod ymwch yn gwybod ymwch yn gwybod y gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r gwa'r because the receipt was all in Japanese, so I took them on all quarry that me and Grimm were so used to one and I smashed them up at night time.
Starting point is 00:24:29 Cookedly as late, I invested £200,000 in some special vests that could apparently make the top half of your body longer, you know like on a snake. But the fellow who sold them, that was just stretching his tummy up when he demonstrated them. He turned out to be a body. Anywhere, I have to go now, me and Neville Southall of Hayar, a church office, some gender fluid lads and lassas to have a little party in. So that would be nice for everyone. So there we go, Secretary Sokka.
Starting point is 00:25:00 So it was to any mention, Vendon machines which you mentioned earlier on. Now that's curious, isn't it? That's very curious. I'll mentioned earlier on. That's curious, isn't it? That's very curious, I'll tell you what else is curious. Yep. In my gangs of the EPL this week, truly, there's mention of German shampoes. No way.
Starting point is 00:25:17 Yeah. Oh, okay, it's from a couple of weeks back right, I was up at Anfield, yeah? Yep. For Liverpool Spurs match, usual routine, after the match, go out of a RP hospitality, get a pie and a pie and go sit on a pot in the bogs, beautiful. Really, Andy, really nice toilets. More like a reception from a hotel or some, they've got a beautiful Middle Eastern rug in the centre. Yeah, like incense candles, a sofa like, with lovely elaborate design cushions and a pattern on it. So, really elaborate,
Starting point is 00:25:59 does he take the photo? I can see a picture of you. Yeah, oh, hello. Thank you. Well, first to come in the toilet is the white art, right? And they're all smiles, right? Because of course, they got a last minute equalizer via slightly dubious penalty, if you remember. And it was Harry Kearn's 100th. Where? 100s, premier ship goal. So he's wearing a big dressing gown
Starting point is 00:26:22 with 100 up written on him. Oh. And he's wearing his big dressing gown with 100 up written on him. And he's wearing his new boots with 100 written on them that his team mates gave him. Did you see a little video of him giving it to him? Yeah, unfortunately, I did it. So, Ares says, well, I'm must say, fellow White Hearts, I'm feeling cock-a-hop and euphoric. In a word, I'm Harry McPthoud. I would like to thank you for my special boots and dressing gown. You are very kindhearted and I'm lucky to have you as friends. Feel the fresh heat. Debbie and Eric feel the freshest heat. Debbie says, I would like to say a few words if that is
Starting point is 00:26:58 such a factory. It's been a pleasure to play with you Eric Gles. Debbie said, excuse me, what rude boy you can be when it takes your fancy Eric, what is the big joke? You said you enjoyed playing with him. Oh I get it, like in your endo and doubled up meanings. Well I don't think that's very appropriate when I'm making a speech. It's bad manners and it's caused a nasty blip in the atmosphere. If I'm here, carry on. Sorry Debbie, says Eric. Yes it has been an absolute pleasure playing alongside you. manners and has caused a nasty blip in the atmosphere. If I'm a caboo on, sorry Debbie says Eric. Yes, it has been an absolute pleasure playing alongside you and seeing you on the end of my long balls. Eric Sniggers. Fox here, Eric, what's going on? Is you hurting something? You said your long balls. What is it with you and your army human today?
Starting point is 00:27:46 Honestly, you've been a right spokesman at Tyson. It's very upsetting. So as I was saying, thank you, Harry. Well, at the moment, at that very moment in Wax, Adam Lilliana and John Milner from the Clop Tops here, I love a pool gang. They go straight to the big mirror, you know, start doing the fair shoulder,
Starting point is 00:28:02 moisturising routines and that, right? Milner says, um, I shuffled in your summer Yorkshire, like that. That's really nice, go on, Ali, what's it, Marxist Spence's, BHS, no, it's Givenchy and Gala and cast me a blend your Philistone and I don't think that's very funny, mentioning BHHS when Eric's dad lost his job when they went bust. Adam says, your skin looks awful Harry. Especially on the nub of your chin. Do you want to borrow some of my deep moisturizer with bumphiotics? In fact, I fucking insist here. Hold your hand out.
Starting point is 00:28:40 My chin is fine, thank you. It has a slight jute on it, so it does take a lot of weather. But my mum says soap and water is best with no upsetting chemicals. Thank you. Adam, suit your fucking self. I will, and once more, you must be very embarrassed and ashamed to be in the under-twenty-draze. Adam, quite the reverse, actually, Professor Chin. I take it as a compliment to my moisturizing routine that the boss sees me as fitting in with the young ones. Debbie, anywhere as I was saying to celebrate your achievement, we have bought you a bottle of fizzy wine! Eric produces a bottle of fizzy wine from his bag and pops the cork and shakes it, it goes everywhere all over the carpet, all over
Starting point is 00:29:26 the sofa, all over the lovely and brighted cushions, just at that very moment in walks more salad. Now I've got a problem, Andy, on the racists and racers in front. Potentially, yeah. He's Egyptian. He is? Am I alright attempting an Egyptian voice? Or do I have to give him just an English voice? If you could go for it and then if it's no good, I'll just edit this entire section out. Oh man. I'm sure it'll be fine. What have you done? A thousand curses on you.
Starting point is 00:30:01 That's alright. This upholstery is from Cairo. It's the finest Egyptian craftsmanship to delicatoury store. This a bit like Sheldon. It's working on a piss steak. I demand 50,000 drakma. Buck me up here, lads. Harry, be careful if you don't mind. Eric still has enough fizzy wine to fire at you and cause you significant upset and grief. Well more, look at Adam and John, Milner, but they aren't making a move. Adam says, look more woman, I'm halfway through my foundation base here, I can't risk getting it tainted
Starting point is 00:30:35 by fizzy wine. John Milner, you're asking, I'm certain more, you know, in fact I've got as far as doing my blusher. Debbie, look at and you learn Salah. Eric starts shaking the bottle and the white arts around Salah. He says okay okay you win. I can't risk further damage to my beautiful pit. Debbie ha ha. Next time you come on strong like a tender hermit you'd better make sure you add some backup. Harry says well I must say defeating the clocktops in their own toilets has made my day even more too lithic. Eric raises the bottle above his head and as they leave they all say, feel our ferocious heat. Nice for Harry. Yes. 100 goals defeats the clocktops. Yep. Really nice day for him. All the people I meet at work in television, right,
Starting point is 00:31:28 is secret. Yeah. None of them much television. Really? Really, or fans, are they? They watch the stuff they meant to watch, you know. Like, I don't have the hand made or something. Oh yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:38 But if I say, I have a Saint-Tain mom. I have a Saint-Tain mom. I have a Saint-Tain mom. Deadly women. Yeah. Or have you seen five go on a barge or the good stuff yeah, we're never clue what it is Andy. Tell me the best TV show there's ever been is go and tell me.
Starting point is 00:31:51 Grit canal journeys with the the old Timothy Weston Pranola skills. Yeah, it's good, isn't it? It's brilliant. It's about everything. It is. It's about travel. It's about life. It's about love.
Starting point is 00:32:03 Yeah, it's about everything. Yeah, you enjoy that. I love that. They're probably watching that actually. I'm just saying. Do they? Yeah. Oh, that's a shame, because I thought it was my little secret. No, I don't think so. I've been watching the good place on Netflix.
Starting point is 00:32:13 Good place. There's a lot of people that have been talking about that. Ted Danson. Any goods? It's set in heaven. Well, lots of people have been saying it's the sort of thing that I should watch because everyone else is watching it. Any goods?
Starting point is 00:32:24 All right. All right. That's else is watching it. Any good? Alright. Alright, that's a problem in it. Alright. I'm three episodes in. There's too much alright, isn't it? Well, I only try to bring onto this show stuff that's beyond alright, and if it's alright, I say it. You don't.
Starting point is 00:32:35 Have you got anything you know to mention that's worth an alright? Do you know trauma has been on, with John Sims this week on ITV? Yeah. That's an interesting one because it's, I think it's four episodes, yeah. Right. And the first three episodes are terrific. And then it goes to shit. As time goes to the tiger would say.
Starting point is 00:32:52 And the last episode, whoops. That's pretty much every British drama now. It helps. Great up to a point and then they go to shit right at the end. If you want a recommendation this week and I would go to, I think it's Swedish not sure but it's called Muldus, season one of Muldus, very good. I tell you who's guaranteed winner every time on the box. Who's that? Dominic Littlewood. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:13 Hello, my name's Dominic Littlewoods. Welcome to my new game show. It's called The Oster Prickman. And my guest today is Mr. Boboma. Oh, Dom. Well, it's very simple, Bob. I'm going to give you three names for you consider. One of them's a prick. They have a two-row right. All right. Here we go. And don't forget your plate. They have your chosen charity, which is Hocling for Africa. Okay. I don't know what that means, but here we go. Four names, Bob. Rick Rescola, name number two. Don't say anything yet.
Starting point is 00:33:54 Okay. Itchim Bogdars says ah. Name number three. Eugene Surnon. Warner Demsie Rick. Now it's who choose you right. Which one's a prick, Bob Wommer? The first one is the prick.
Starting point is 00:34:10 The first one, Rick Westgawler. Who helped over two and a half thousand people escaped during 9-11. You think he's a prick, do you? You bastard. Well the prick is actually itching Bogdars' asses. He bought three glands worth of Bitcoin online, thinking he'd get it sent home in the post, and all I sent him was a copy of the DVD of Boss Baby.
Starting point is 00:34:31 Err... They're prick. The prick. But as it is, you guessed wrong. So you'll be prick. The prick. You'll be prick. You are prick.
Starting point is 00:34:39 All right, Tom. All right, Tom. Thank you, good boy. Alright, Tom. Thank you, good boy. Well, I've been on a medical center with suspenders that I've done because I'm a job which hasn't been easy like at all. I've got the wife back and at me all day and snagging off Jesus' light. And I've used to have been working up early most nights because of the tap, tap, tap, a'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio. Mae'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r
Starting point is 00:35:08 gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r
Starting point is 00:35:22 gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r I went in the mean loft and started banging on one of my wife's big interest with my trumpet. I started my slushy mouth like you knew. I brought my son a trumpet in your face, 12th birthday, but he only did a couple of pups on it and then he sent me a disappear from the house like you're never knew what happened to that light. I asked him where it was cooked at times, but he just looked at me like I was an advert.
Starting point is 00:35:52 Well, I got no response from him, I'll be in your show. I quit downstairs, like, you know, midnight shadow, so I didn't wear it up to the wife. I got into the kitchen and you know it's the most beautiful feeling in the world to be alone in the kitchen you know in the half like with no one around to spy on you what you look to wife doesn't really give me permission to go in the kitchen if I'm not cutting a rag in there. Don't dare. So I got a little talk, shout the joy. You know, to lovely, go to lovely yellow shots like bright yellow. You know I like a banana or the alternate stripes on a wasp.
Starting point is 00:36:40 I like a plate with you stick and you know I'll check and wrap. I often go down my rations around 6pm later check out the reductions, especially if the wife's in one of the term I'll say. Another chicken wrap me. I like it better if it's been cut in half and that's an attack a kill and not an end. Rather than a blunt end but you know it's not a deal breaker. a'r ymwch yw'r ymwch yw'r ymwch yw'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r
Starting point is 00:37:38 gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r So I turn it to the fridge like an astrumid tour on the table like Well, it's like fucking on up, but I don't cry out. I go straight to the chest raised it gets some frozen piece to put on it Well, a shanmey are a torch inside the freezer. I can't see anything but frozen card cups My sex with them about if she's got a knack on you know. I rummage about a bit and now in the bottom corner let me look the musics from now and they all start up again automatic. Good? I'll write you a... I rummage about the bit you know and in the freezer and then the bottom corner, I say something that makes my heart leap. It's a cook, the fish fingers must have fallen out of the box like you know, and a solidly
Starting point is 00:38:33 sauce and you'll cast our bread bun. The thing is, I like a fish finger sandwich, you know, or maybe as much as a wrap, but I'm not loud bread and fish since the wife rejects it Jesus. Because you know bread and fish is great and very much associated with the bloc like you know that. You know very close association that's why I always wait, be checking wraps when I'm out and about you know. I know it's like a foreign bread but I'm not taking a chance with the wife like So I'm checking like a leaf with excitement as I put the bun in the mic We have to desost and the fingers in the oven
Starting point is 00:39:20 Well the burn is going round and round and round and round Mae'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio. Mae'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a'r tewch, ni a Austin is concoct to throw at the church later and the ovens on cause a third you might like big extra change loads. Well she's mad at like so I'm off the hook you know as she says she'll bang on the ceiling when she wants her eggs and she's like croaks off back to bed like you know. Well I greatly grabbed the boner and the fingers and put them back Mae'n gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweith And I had a walk into the park and played a few pups on the trump that you knew to the tune one peed abeously. There's only one peed abeously, you know. Pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah. It was dark before I knew it, so I got back home and had some biscuits and Mae'n gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r gweithio, mae'r g It finished on the button! I might just put that out as a stand-alone episode. Now I know I stopped this, that's the next one, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:41:52 I don't know what you're playing it on, so I haven't got a clue. Is it a web page? Have you done it? I've started playing some else. Oh, okay, let's give that a listen, see you at the live. Ha ha ha ha. you

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