Athletico Mince - Ep. 65 - Like A Chicken Wing
Episode Date: July 20, 2018Including a revolutionary, world-changing pan-based business idea, Corbyn raining on Andy’s multi-wash and Peter Beardsley, the Alderman and a psychotic South African chef all convening at the same ...function. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Alright, Andrew. I tell you what, London is very different from the North-East. In what sense?
Don't take this the wrong way, but I saw a couple of fellows holding hands in the street
Yeah, which I wouldn't really normally have seen no we got a problem
No, no, oh, but I mean one of them was why did early 30s? I reckon another one was pretty about three
Why did
So
Father and son hey listen up though, what?
You know the poor stuff is tower. Yeah, I went up the you know it revolves. You know it revolves itself. Yeah, I'm on it
Yeah, well went in I went through like a little door. I'm not a portal Andrew. I mean a door
Went in what's behind the door and I found out that it's actually a great big fucking drill
It's a drill and down. It's drilling down. Yeah, It's drilling for salt, pull salt about the earth.
Hang on.
The post office tower is a very slow,
moving earth.
So it's slowly moving down into the earth?
Yeah.
No, the rate of like an inch every 35 years.
If drill bit is penetrating.
So it's got a drill bit that goes down into the earth,
but the post office tower
stuff steers at the same time. It's always going to be there, haunting us, haunting our dreams.
And is that where London gets its salt? That's where the restaurant in the post office tower.
That's where the soups are. So it was very fucking salty. So you know like you talk of a London,
so it is a London story. I am a London guy. Yeah, just got off the tube then, bumped into Jarvis Cocker.
Did you?
That's quite London thing to do.
Except you bought originally from the North, but you bought...
Yeah.
Came down there as soon as you could.
And our paths, we used to be good mates, have a crack on, have a bang on.
What would you use the Irish one?
You have a crack.
Crack?
Is it crack? I've a crack. I've a crack, but it's a spelt crack. Yeah, well, is it crack? I was crack would it spot crack? Yeah. Yeah. Well if it's spelled Craig it said Craig then in it
I wouldn't say Craig I would say crack either though
Well, you would you would if you had a
Build around and he said right, so I'm sorry look. I've got that you wouldn't say I don't know what to say
We've got a crack in me plaster you wouldn't say a crack
Not because it's about C. R. A. C. Yeah. It's spot C R A I C Crick. Anyway. So you used to smoke crack with your
Jarvis Cockton. Yeah that's exactly what I said. Yeah. How's he doing? So he's I just
thought to yourself you know he's on his way. I says what you up to Jav I can't
Jav. Yeah. So what you up to Jav he says he's off to give a talk about the
movie performance all right
Yeah, it's a mixed agree anything he was yeah
Good movie that and he said come on can we officially recommend that movie? Well, no
I'm not I don't want to recommend it because I watched it recently, but so but what I'll do is is I'll pass on a
Recommendation from Jarvis because he said to me. I've just watched it again
Obviously he said you really should have another look at it, right, but it's not my recommendation
That's from Jarvis Cockack.
Yeah so he's off to do his talk, me and Muppie at talk with a fuck in fact
Maccom. Do you know what's different lives we used to be very close
hanging around in the same circles. Now I'm in this fucking cupboard we owe and
he's off to talking about you know films to art students and stuff.
And you sat there with a pair of fucking braces aren't there aren't you?
Yeah, when we got two fat now to about just slips below me got so I have to use braces.
You look like one of them fellows who pretends he's a fireman but he's not really.
Maybe I am. And he goes and hangs around at fires and he's saying I couldn't put a fire out.
I'm saying you couldn't put a fire out.
Yeah well start a fucking fire
I'll pull it out. That's well. Well, and under the braces you've got a t-shirt on and it's got a
Cartoon of yourself, but like as a muscle man. Yeah, and you're holding up a couple of cows above your head
Yeah, and underneath it says who you're gonna call Bob Mortimer
Like you're a hero or something. Well, it's a wrap. You Do you think you're a hero? Well, you, you be the judge, hero.
No.
Or not hero.
Not hero.
Right.
Is this another one of your quizzes?
Are you going to do it?
No, I found a very sick bull, yeah, on one side of a river bank.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
This is during your fishing shit.
Yeah.
Right.
And I picked that bull up and threw it to the other side of the riverbank where there was motor access.
So hero, not hero.
Did you not cause more damage to the bull by chucking it across a river?
Well it survived, it lives to tell the tale, it's horns are growing, it's attitude stings.
It tells the tale, doesn't it?
So egg dishes, Andrew.
I've got a very long tale to tell the tale day, so we can't mess about too much.
Right, or...
Egg dishes, you might not have heard of, and you might be interested in.
It's a quiz, or you're just going to listen.
Well, you can have it as a quiz. Is this such a thing as eggs woodcock?
It's the Andrew, answer me.
No, there is.
A eggs woodcock is scrambled eggs on toast topped with anchovies.
Was it devised by the former, not in a forest,
for a Tony Woodcock?
Who went to Cologne?
And he picked up a German accent as well.
But he was there.
So that's to every man.
Is this an egg dish or not?
Egg's Neptune.
No.
It is.
It's eggs Benedict with crab instead of bacon.
You might like to try that,ion, you don't mind.
Sounds nice.
Tin crabs, all right, you know?
Have you got tin crabs?
It's all right, and it does the job.
So what about egg, egg in a basket?
Do you know that one?
Yes, that's a thing.
It is true, do you know what it is?
So they're going to basket, it's not an egg in a basket.
It's also called, this might help.
It's called frog in a hole
One eye jack pirate's eye or eggs in a frame. That's a dish and they're gonna Yorkshire pudding
Not you're not far off Andrew
What it is is how you make it is you get a slice of bread
You put a hole in the middle of it then you put it in your frying pan. Yeah, so you got a fried bread on one side of it
It's not French talk then you then you turn it over in your frying pan, so you've got a fried bread on one side of it. It's not a French talk.
Then you turn it over in the frying pan and crack an egg into the hole in the middle.
Right.
That, for what it's worth, is egg in a basket.
Fuck it.
What did it fucking hell in me for?
It's a long name for a quite simple dish, isn't it?
Do you want a name?
What you got?
Chants broadcast. You look like it. It's a long name for a quite simple dish, isn't it? Do you want a name? What you got? Chance Broadcast.
Pfft.
You look like it.
You've puffed your little chest up, right?
I did.
You might have seen your life as Chance Broadcast,
coming down the steps of an American courtroom,
having won the case, you know?
Is that what he does in your lawyer?
No, no, actually.
Is it a risk of all that?
All that can tell you about him is that he has American parents obviously with chance broadcast but who's actually brought up on a pig farm near
Norwich here. He looks like Andrew Ma, plastered grow bags sing song. So, plastered grow bags sing song.
Yeah, what do you reckon? Do you want him? Have I got any other options? No, I can't be bothered.
Now I'm going to chuck it back. all right, so are you still thin Richmond?
I want to be thin Richmond for at least two months. Yeah, please
Okay, I've not got any other alternatives. So you have to start with it now
I'm like is it called filibuster and I'm just talking over I'm not letting you do anything
Some questions from me quads gone and quick. Let's get some person to this
Bob have you would great to have that hair transplant done that you mentioned in a recent episode?
I wasn't a lie that you made up for attention.
Like Josh Foster in class G2, who says his dad has got an Xbox made out of wood.
Um, it is true.
I'm considering it still.
Still considering it.
I'm mulling it off, but I think that offer might run out soon.
Yeah, I don't think they're going to piss about with it.
But you think I've got a fucking voucher through the door.
So that's the right spires. I think someone might have seen you in
the straight followed your home and put the voucher through your door.
Yeah, I think I think I don't know whether it's worth going through
the pain and the you know, I'm bald and I'm whatever deal with it.
Deal with the pain. I deal with the baldness. Well, I am. You know,
if I'd been desperate, I'd have had it done already. Wouldn't
that next question? Bob, what was the most important money you would pay for an individual T-Towel?
Oh man. So it was a T-Towel that would appear to have the first of Jesus on it like Chewren's show.
Right. I'd go up to 1999. Right. Okay. Would you be interested in what it was made from? Absorbent quality?
That is important, isn't it?
And it doesn't give out little speckles or any shit.
Yeah.
It's got that 100% cotton vibe.
What do you look for when you buy in a new T towel
or T towel set?
I've never bought a T towel in my life.
But when the wife bought sexist.
When the...
But here, I have an ironed and T tell so that makes me
Why would anyone I in a T towel well because it's just a much nicer thing to use when it's nice and fresh
But you fucking creased up little T towel, but you've just tried on your radio either drive them on the line or on your radio
And that that flattens a bit sufficiently don't need to in the fucking things. The most I think I would pay is 99.
For a Jesus Tatell.
Yeah.
Well I think personally this is my recommendation and not Jarvis Cockers, you should never
ever skimp when it comes to buying a Tatell.
Okay so you would pay how much?
For a standard Tatell.
Yeah.
899.
Well I'm, you say I'm the one in skimp, and I would.
This isn't a Jesus one though, is it?
It's just standard.
Carry on, I've answered it.
Bytwey, that's my motto.
That's it, I'll tell you what I do at the moment.
Do you know how a non-stick frying pan is?
Absolutely fucking superb for about a month.
Yeah. Yeah.
So I'll replace them immediately.
They lose any of the shine because I get them delivered with me shopping
Because you can get like a I don't know an eight inch frying pan for about a five
I see you just go through this is an idea. You know these things where they send out the beer once a month
Yeah, we could start a company where we send out frying pans once a month
Ginaw Andy fuck it out. I'm gonna edit that out because that's too good an idea to share with them really good in it. Oh If we could get like say I know it sounds silly, but if we could get a hundred thousand frying pans
Yeah, I bet you can get them at like 50p a year. You know definitely get them from China. Yeah
And if it takes off we'll have to stop doing this fucking podcast exactly
Which got to be our endgame really, isn't it? What's the poshest melee? Have I ever had? Oh?
Christ It's got to be our end game, really, isn't it? What's the poshest mail you've ever had? Ooh!
Christ.
Err...
You ate Christ.
No, probably... you know Peck.
No.
In the tin.
Oh, no, no, you're giving me bullshit answer.
What is the poshest mail you've ever had?
I can't think of one.
Have you ever been in a restaurant?
I've been in a restaurant, see how I'm trying to think of the poshest one
I've been oh I don't know you don't know I've been the kind of quite a few
What you would call level three restaurants? Give me an example of a level three
Well, just a nice one the cost of your quit
Above and I have your beta pizza express. Yeah, I was in Nando's last night
And there was that that's level that's level five. Have you ever been in anything posture than that? Yeah
Tell me remember the name of them. What did it serve?
There used to be this place in
Out sort of east of Durham, I think and it was called open house and it was in his village
Right, and it was just a couple of fellows who went to the house
Yeah, and you could go in and then cut your dinner.
And was that the poshest restaurant you've ever made?
I'll say yes just for the sake of getting this thing moving along.
Thank you.
God Jesus Christ.
Have you, what do you reckon, what are your thoughts on hotel room service?
What do you think about that?
I generally stay in travel lodges and they don't have room service.
He's a very new again, ladies and name. I've had room service in Florida.
And what do you reckon to room service? They brought me dinner up on a trolley and it was nice.
What did you order? Did you just take a box that said dinner? Yeah.
Frown dinner. Have you ever been on Concord? No, of course I haven't.
Yeah. Of you? Yeah. How many times?
Been on well twice't. Yeah. Of you. Yeah. How many times? Been on well twice with
there. There. Was it good? Yeah. So what do you think of that? Make it easier.
Yes. No, it's only tiny little place. Who else was on John Collins? No, me, wife, kids.
Those celebrities. No, I think tell when's a mate of being on it? Right.
That sounds about right. I think so. I just got that question. Well, I just wanted to know I've been on Concord.
Yeah, obviously.
That's all I want.
So at one point, the pilot said, you were now the people
who were the furthest away from Earth.
Right.
So I stood up, you know, because I'm a little bit.
Still on your chair.
So that I would be the furthest person.
Try to get into the luggage compartment above your seat.
It's me, it's me, I'm the first now.
Oh, I'm sure I'm Miss Conco's Concord.
Conco's I call it.
It was never gonna last the whole time.
It might come back in some other form.
Well, I tell you what, if I'll frying pan thing takes off.
Conco or all the way.
Conco or next, do you think?
Well, we just build a foot and conco.
But they were run.
I bet it's quite easy.
I know it's not elastic bands, but it's what?
Gears, engine.
I think it's just a shitloads of petrol.
Shitloads of fucking really fine grade petrol.
Yeah.
The stuff you won't put in your car, but you say...
You put it by mistake once.
We can copy the shape of it.
I'll get it for the aerodynamics, can't we?
I regretting for me, Bob, that I've been in the record studio and done another song. Oh no that's great.
Atitude of positive attitude. Thank you. This could almost fit in with the Durham Prison documentary as a kind of a
Mortel of Irresional thing. So you've done a motivational song? Kind of. It's called Steve from South shales. Let's say you're it.
It's called Steve from South Shields. Let's say you're it
He's playing pegpong. Hey man, what's your name? My name is Steve where you from? I'm from so shields What you following him Steve from South shields? Hey man? What's your name? My name is Steve? Where you from?
I'm from so shields. What's you fall in Steve from South Shields
Hey man, what's your name? My name is Steve where you from?
I'm from so shields what's your fall name? Steve from South Shields
Hey man, what's your name? My name is Steve where you from?
I'm from South Shields what's your fall name? Steve from South Shields
Please baby I'm Steve from South Shield! What's your phone then? Steve from South Shield! Please be the end.
Steve.
Oh my god.
I went through the gate, I didn't have key wise.
Yeah, but there's such a laziness involved there.
Yeah, I can almost like...
Catch you though, but I can almost...
You'll be hominit later on.
Without railing like you will.
No, I won't.
But you do.
If I could shit it, I'd shit it.
It kind of feels a bit like a prison initiation song, isn't it?
I've got this long story Andrew. Do you want to do it now here at the way? Go on then. So I
At the go up to stopton on tea. Oh's. For the old man's annual summer face.
That's the love boys and girls.
It's in this big manor house just outside Stockton's got a lot of...
Does it cook you dinner for you?
Is it like an open house?
No, it's not.
It's much more than that, Andrew.
So I'm glad, yeah.
So imagine an open house this place you used to go.
What?
What?
Yeah, I'm sure the story of your property went through your fawns and everything. Just answer your coat, in, sir. a'r ymdyn ni'n gwaithio'r ffyd. A'r ymdyn ni'n gwaithio'r ffyd, a'r ymdyn ni'n gwaithio'r ffyd,
a'r ymdyn ni'n gwaithio'r ffyd, a'r ymdyn ni'n gwaithio'r ffyd,
a'r ymdyn ni'n gwaithio'r ffyd, a'r ymdyn ni'n gwaithio'r ffyd,
a'r ymdyn ni'n gwaithio'r ffyd, a'r ymdyn ni'n gwaithio'r ffyd,
a'r ymdyn ni'n gwaithio'r ffyd, a'r ymdyn ni'n gwaithio'r ffyd,
a'r ymdyn ni'n gwaithio'r ffyd, a'r ymdyn ni'n gwaithio'r ffyd,
a'r ymdyn ni'n gwaithio'r ffyd, a'r ymdyn ni'n gwaithio'r ffyd,
a'r ymdyn ni'n gwaithio'r ffyd, a'r ymdyn ni'n gwaithio'r ffyd, a'r ymdyn ni'n gwaithio'r ffyd, a'r ymdyn ni'n gwaithio'r ffyd, and the balloon magic because that sounds like a recipe for disaster. There weren't that close. That's all right.
In fact, the owl handler was quite a peripheral figure.
I would.
I would go for the owl.
I always go for the danger.
Okay.
So listen, Jamie, imagine little animals except their stair isn't at the owl.
Asking questions.
Where'd you get the owl?
How much is the owl cost?
What does it eat?
Where'd you get the mice from that you've seen it?
The sleep line.
No. How often as it blink.
So a big but there's many thing, it's a big marquee serve and drinks sandwiches, cakes,
that sort of thing.
So I met my way up the big tent and then by the bar is the Oldhamman with all his
cronies, town club, bigger with the Twitch town planner all that lot.
And he sees me straight away.
Robert, Robert, Robert! Come over here Robert! There's someone I want you to meet Robert!
So over I go, you know what I was you would. Robert, this is Mr Peter Beardsley Robert,
the footballer and his lovely wife Robert. So I said, oh hello Peter, wow,
it's how nice to finally meet you.
He says,
oh right, Bob,
are you, you've met him before?
You met him since James was parking
in an earlier episode.
Did I?
Yeah.
Oh Peter, how nice to meet you again.
Yeah, go ahead, that's better.
All right, Bob, yeah, I'm in a nice time,
you know, I am, go ahead, Spirer. Alright, Bob, yeah, I'm in a nice time, you know, I am, you know, you've got a bouncy
cattle and an owl that hoots.
So yeah, Pete, I come every year.
What about, what about you, Mrs. B?
It's fucking shambles.
It's full of fucking diners.
They better be some fucking eggs on offer sharpish away our fucking leaving
Peter says yeah, sorry about that all of a you know
The wife rejected Jesus recently like and as I the right nut on ever since you know
It only the eggs like you know that can keep us terrible really
Robert
Robert we must get some eggs for Mrs. B. What's your preference Mrs. B?
Fucking poor cheese is best like then fried then soft boilers then scrambled then add boilers
And if you get poor cheese make sure the yellow is very
Focca New Rooney
You know like Buddha Scots for and SARS Yn gweithio'r ysgwyr i'n gweithio'r ysgwyr i'n gweithio'r ysgwyr i'n gweithio'r ysgwyr i'n gweithio'r ysgwyr i'n gweithio'r ysgwyr i'n gweithio'r ysgwyr i'n gweithio'r ysgwyr i'n gweithio'r ysgwyr i'n gweithio'r ysgwyr i'n gweithio'r ysgwyr i'n gweithio'r ysgwyr i'n gweithio'r ysgwyr i'n gweithio'r ysgwyr i'n gweithio'r ysgwyr i'n gweithio'r ysgwyr i'n gweithio'r ysgwyr i'n gweithio'r ysgwyr i'n gweithio'r ysgwyr i'n gweithio'r ysgwyr i'n gweithio'r ysgwyr i'n gweithio'r ysgwyr i'n gweithio'r ysgwyr i'n gweithio'r ysgwyr i'n gweithio'r ysgwyr i'n gweithio'r ysgwyr i'n gweithio'r ysgwyr i'n gweithio'r ysgwyr i'n gweithio'r ysgwyr i'n gweithio'r ysgwyr i'n gweithio'r ysgwyr i'n gweithio'r ys wife right there. Is that alright love? I'll be fucking glad of the break from you
you fucking creepy prick. So may Peter and the Olderman walk off to the
man house you know and search eggs for Mrs. B. The Oldman says are you not a bit
hot in that padded jacket Peter? I'm sorry to pull you up on that, Ardham and Bud. This is not the Paddha jacket, it's puffer puffer jacket.
It's like with a breathable mesh beneath the puffer puffer chambers.
But yeah, I am a bit folk and hearted.
Well, we enter the main building by a back service door.
And more or less we're straight into the kitchen and the no one around.
I suppose the staff are all out in the big tent looking after all that.
So we start looking around for some eggs.
And the old man and Peter go into one of them big walk in fridge things,
you know, and have a poker round.
And I have a poker round in the cupboards.
Suddenly Andy, I hear the fridge door slams shut, yeah, and I like the
click of it locking, you know, and I turn around and there's this chef, you know, from
Kertz and the South African chef, he's got a meat clavier in one hand and then yeah,
imagine I was really shocking and an electric mixer in the other and he says JTP what you're doing in my fucking kitchen I says I'm not me I'm just looking
for some eggs for Mrs Beads is Mr Beads his wife you know she she gets a bit
where would if she doesn't have a fix beardly the blanco has a problem with the
young fornings I said yeah well we you know we don't know that for for
sure. He says I'll tell you something for sure. I'll tell you something for sure. He says
I'll tell you something for fucking sure. I said alright you want me to ask what? I ain't fucking right, so I said, oh sorry, what?
I'm glad to feed some kitchen utensils into your anus.
Meanwhile in the big fridge, the old man and Peter speaking, you know, they can't hear
what's going on outside.
Peter said, you know, it seems like we've got locked in, you know, bubble fetches in the minute, you know,
he's a good lad.
Well, Robert, better be quick about it.
I'm freezing to death in here.
Robert?
Robert, Robert!
But I can't hear a thing.
The old one says,
you're a lucky bastard, you Peter,
I haven't that quilted jacket.
Not more.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Ooh. Look, I'm sorry after bringing a couple of things a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymdyn a'r ymgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n ysgwch i'n y No, no, no, no, no. What are you doing? What are you doing?
Have you lost your marbles?
No, I have sung into a lumpy flux.
Oh, to put it simply, I have just seen a tray of chicken wraps.
Peter grabs himself a wrap right by it straight into it.
Oh, that is bang on the money that is like it's nice what we
dutch to mad this and lovely lumpy lumpy chicken like a lovely lumpy chicken
pillow. I could steer for hours and forget all my pain. Bloody hell Robert
Robert Robert meanwhile I'm back in the kitchen. Thank you Stards of and bend over the waste bin.
Well, Andy, what am I meant to do?
He's got a meat cleaver in his hand.
You understand, don't you?
He's just a sympathized part of that word.
I mean, what would you do?
I just do his horse talk.
Exactly.
Right, first of, stop feeding the tea towel into your anus.
Then the scaring pad and follow it with this gravy boat. Right, first of, stop feeding this tea towel into your anus.
Then the scaring pad, and follow it with this gravy boat. Sorry, was it a cheap tea towel?
Oh, it's possible.
I'm in the middle, I've got this,
did you know?
I didn't have a look, it was dirty.
And follow it with this gravy boat, right up.
Well, Andy, I get the tea towel and the scouring pad
at all right, to be honest with you. But I'm the tea towel and the scouring pad Oh, right.
Yeah.
To be honest with you.
But I'm struggling just with the size of the gravy board, you know?
Yeah.
Obviously, I said, look, I'm really struggling here, mate.
You know, you think you could give it a shove with your foot.
And he says, well, he didn't like that, right?
And suddenly he has the blade of his cleaver, right?
Rest in on the forehead
Get up or I'll touch your forehead off
I said look would it be okay if I sat on it you know because that would help wouldn't it?
I'm not force it. Oh of course and
Potentially break it's handle now you can fuck off with that I
Says no, I am sorry, I'm sorry,
but I just can't do it, please, please don't remove me for it.
I mean, like, I need it, like, you know,
for resting against train winders.
I don't understand why he's bothered about a brick,
and I'm not.
Well, he's apt to ask him,
and I would don't recommend it, Andrew.
Yeah.
Well, that's, with that, he raises up the cleaver, Andy.
Yeah. I'll close my eyes thinking this is it, and then I hear a dull thud, like, Well that's with that he raises up the cleaver and he yeah I
Closed my eyes thinking this is it and then I hear a dull thud like
I don't know whether that's no it was duller than that and
And he drops to the floor
There's Mrs. B. What the fuck are you doing with a gravy port? Oh, you're lashing, J.C. little fucking pervert.
Well, I explained to her and I was forced,
you know, and I went up and then I thank her for serving me.
Meanwhile, back in the fridge,
Peter is trying to cheer up the older man
with some of his jokes, you know.
So he said,
and he said,
he's a coconut joke, you know,
you know, take your man off things like, he said, Mae'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwa your find any. Fock and eggs! I am gasping and where's that f***ing clown of a husband of mine?
I tell him that the chef locked him in the fridge like, you know, what a f***ing dough you ladd
block is. Get him out will ya? Nice cock by the way. Peter's is like a f***ing chicken wig.
Peas is like a fork and chicken wig. So we get paid the y'all's.
We get paid the old them without the fridge.
I don't know.
Look what I found in a fridge like it's a full box of hard boilers.
Well get the fork and peel, get them fork and peel sharpish
because I want to eat either one this shit.
Yes, love. You're a good lad.
You're a good lad, Peter.
You're a good lad, Peter.
Sick as a fart and bottle.
But you mean well.
Thanks, love.
So, all's well.
Wow, all's well, isn't it?
My god, did you think that... And, that story was a oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, It's a documentary about life behind bars in Durham prison. You're excited, aren't you?
Yeah, it's fucking brilliant, but it's fucking grim.
But what you find out is that prison is mainly about...
Someone just bleeped that.
Prison is mainly about the smuggling of objects in the ines.
Ah!
That is 22 hours a day. They're lads are doing that. They've got
phones up their arses or drugs. Yeah. One of the prison officers said,
we've got gravy boats up there. Well, what are the prison officers said? He once
saw a nine inch blade that had been removed from someone's inus. See?
Rapped, obviously. Ripped out the authenticity of my adventures in South Africa.
You know what I mean?
Exactly.
So I would strongly recommend watching prison.
Oh, thank you.
The Dural and Spice as well.
That phone, it's interesting, telly-wise,
because that little ring was just my son
responding to my celebratory text to him
saying that better call Saul is back on August 6th.
Right. And he was just giving me a celebratory text to him saying that Better Call Saul is back on August the 6th. Right.
And he was just, he's just given me a celebratory message.
You're single, yeah.
So we have Flo and not way from one subject or another.
So we've, Jarvis has recommended the film performance.
I don't know.
You have recommended it and quite strongly if you feel the listeners could see his face prison.
That was wide-eyed there wasn't it?
I felt the eyes going wide as I was seeing it.
Yeah, no, I mean I just finished the one that I haven't recommended but I've talked about
which is the forest.
That flicks.
I've finished it and it doesn't satisfy they just get a bet, a bet, a bet, a bet.
But it is above the humdrum. It's a good like seven, seven and a half. Mae'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r
gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r
gweithio'r gweithio'r
gweithio'r
gweithio'r gweithio'r
gweithio'r
gweithio'r
gweithio'r
gweithio'r
gweithio'r
gweithio'r
gweithio'r
gweithio'r gweithio'r
gweithio'r gweithio'r
gweithio'r
gweithio'r gweithio'r
gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio' which has got a long list of all of the shores that we've talked about. Oh, that's good, yeah. And links to where you can find them if you want to say them.
I might add some of them in the classic crimes that people might not know.
Some people have said, could you put a little mini reviews as well?
No, I can't be talking about that.
You know.
I had a really good Saturday, a couple of weeks ago.
Oh, I like hearing about good Saturday.
Good Saturday, scorching hot deer, right?
And I mean, the lords are washing it though,
because the world cup and everything,
it all been building up,
it hadn't been sort of tendent to me domestic chores,
let's say.
So I thought, right, let's blow through it all
and I'll get as much wash as I can in one deer.
Is it just tracksuits?
No, it's tea towels as well.
So it was like 4 p.m.
And I was just hanging out the sixth Lord.
Six Lord? Six Lord already by 4pm and
this fella come along, P.O. of em, he went, senior, Corbin, senior they're laddy, trying to attempt a
multi wash, obviously in amateur, how many of you up to there, Seven? I said well this is the sixth one but I didn't start at 10 o'clock this morning.
He said ask me my best one. Go on, ask me my best multi wash.
Alright and what's your best multi wash Jeremy? 23! Wow!
I said 23 loads of washing in one deer. He said yep! I prepared for weeks in advance,
saving up my dirty laundry, locking on neighbours' doors for their smalls and collecting rags
from beggars. So wow, like you said there, wow, that's dedication. It's a shut up, I've
got a four line south-facing rig laid out in a zigzag formation and I use wooden props
because you can't trust aluminium. I preset the washing machine time of the night before,
so the first load is done and ready to hang out by the time I get up at 6am
I do everything on a 40 minute economy wash and I've got a direct line to the metal first so I can confirm the weather forecast the night before
16 hours later
BUSH
28 loads
wash dried folded
This is the most beloved of iron and for you to do is this only Tories do ironing laddy
That's a very good well done Jeremy for all your washes. This is
Fantastic if you need any hints or tips drop me a line. No pun intended
My email is Jeremy dot Corbin dot square dot MP dot is linking dot at Labour party dot politics dot code dot UK
You'll be right that down for you
Good luck you're fucking needed dickhead. You're right, I'm not really. I'm not really.
Good luck, you're a fucking needed dickhead.
Oh!
Yeah, and then off he went.
And I only got eight loads done in the end.
So, that journey?
He really is the magic grandad in here.
He is eight loads though.
The octo wash.
A cold wash.
And did you just use economies?
I've got a 20 minute on mine.
I don't use a 20 minute.
It doesn't come out spun well enough. I know, but 20 minute on mine. I thought he was a 20 minute. It doesn't come
out spun well enough. I know, but if you're chasing the numbers, you could do a 20 minute,
couldn't you? But you're right, it spins at about six or six hundred. It's not a good
spin. I noticed Jeremy exclaimed Bosch, which is interesting, given that the Bosch is a
nice German washing machine, isn't it? It is. So, do you think that's what he was doing,
showing it a recommendation for a washing machine?
Maybe.
Like that subconscious advertising, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Well, it's called the fourth round, isn't it?
I've got a little game for people to play that I recommend.
I'm a lot of fun with it at the moment.
If during the course of the day, after you've listened to this,
someone asks you a question.
Best if it's a serious question.
Yeah.
Just respond with, that's a really good idea.
How can we progress it?
Now it might not sound that much fun,
and obviously you're not answering their question.
Right.
So they might say to you, you don't happen
to know how long the train is from Houston to Peterborough,
and you say, that's a really good idea.
How do you think we can progress it? You get me going to Kings Cross if you want to go to paper.
Well Andy, you're... What for just a good idea? It's just I've had a lot of pleasure from
it and I thought I'd like to pass it on. Right I'm in the middle of editing the new
Big Night out. Right, and Bob's Big Night out so I'll go and do that. Okay. That's a good
idea.
How can we progress it?
No, I was a statement, no question.
Okay.
Do you want me to ask you a question?
Just to round this off here, go on then.
Did you watch me new show, gone fishing?
I'll say the first three.
No, you say that's a good idea.
That's a good idea.
How can we progress it?
Thanks Andrew.
As always, I really, really enjoyed it. Thank you. Bye bye everyone
you