Athletico Mince - Ep. 80 - Mrs Beardsley’s Sister

Episode Date: April 19, 2019

Peter takes his wife out, Bananarama do egg-rolling, Roy takes on Susanna Reid, Bob visits Slaughter’s and we get an update from Barry… Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. ... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Alright Andy. Hi there Bob. You're alright. I'm alright. Thank you. for you last night. Travelled last night yeah, ground floor. Oh, I don't know, that's exactly extra edge, possible intruder threat. So I was slept with one eye, you open kind of thing. Yeah, and was there a lot of traffic we need to lift to something? Now I wasn't, I was down the corridor by beyond the restaurant. Yeah, so, but we're happy with your travel logic experience, that's the main thing. I ain't got any compliments about it. Okay, well then... I didn't get that last 10 last nights, so you know... I'm not very well, by the way.
Starting point is 00:00:50 If you want to ask. Before I get to that, yeah, I've got a complaint. I had one... Sashir of coffee. Yeah. And three Sashir's of de-cuff. Now, what use is that to anybody? That's terrible. I mean, I take a lot of sugars, you know. I don't I don't know. A lot of sugars. You take your own India. I absolutely don't
Starting point is 00:01:08 care about it. If you were looking me jacked up and you're going to go, you'll find me pocket sugar, yeah. Have you got any pocket mates with you today? No, I've brought a muffin in from a nearby coffee shop that you've already ripped apart. Well, I've not ripped it apart. A blueberry muffin is a beautiful thing Andy, but it's between 450 and 500 calories. Is it the best hit you can get for that amount of calories? And look at the state of your. Well, you know, I've got a lose. So, you know, you think when someone like you walked in, they wouldn't sell it to you. I mean, like in a pub with this stuff. Yeah. Stub seven drunks. And so, you may. I've got a couple of names to offer you, Andrew. But of course, you can be...
Starting point is 00:01:47 Oh, you must have been asking about your health. What's wrong with you? Well, do you know what, Andrew? I suppose you're only getting one coffee sachet, probably, is my important. I'm not telling you what's wrong with me. It's entirely completely confidential. Well, I can't guess from looking at you or listening to you.
Starting point is 00:02:02 You? Guess what's wrong with me? Broncratus? No, guess, Andrew. When it comes. You guess what's wrong with me? Broncratus? No, guess, Andrew. Well, it comes to me. What's going to be the problem? Baldness. No.
Starting point is 00:02:11 I don't know. Is he sure or again? No. You're hard. No. Oh, you're us? Exactly. Now, you can be called Tom Birdibum.
Starting point is 00:02:22 All right. The only man in the UK to have a beak protecting his anus. Interesting though, isn't it? Kind of. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, or you could be Vince needlessly camp with fruit gums.
Starting point is 00:02:40 Yeah. Yeah. He's an extremely camped camp glass floor from Leon C Yeah, yeah, who's glassware as an unusual patina as he always has a fruit gum in his mouth when he blows All right, so not caring on that not caring on that big ass feels better. It's not it's a birdie bum That a bit of sellers film, isn't it mr. Birdie bum up that is a niche drill The party pick sellers Sulles. No, I don't.
Starting point is 00:03:06 Different times. Different times. So we just put it that way. And no, no harm. No harm. No harm. It was intended, yeah. Yeah, I guess so. Peter Beads has been touched.
Starting point is 00:03:15 I thought Matt Goughron had an early days. Blind me. Goughron. I was going to give you two names. Oh, God help us. Go on, man. The quicks to John Faelings. OK.
Starting point is 00:03:23 He was the inventor of Faelings in 1862. Yeah. And the decision goth. Yes. If you've got any problems, you kind of work out what to do. He'll decide for you. Where will you find them? To rig them up.
Starting point is 00:03:34 It goth, but the number. Yeah. Okay. You got it, not here? No, I'm going to be Ronald Hutdogs. Ronnie Hut. No, you're honkyton. I'm only honkyton.
Starting point is 00:03:44 Yeah, I'm going to be honkyton. Although I'm only honky tonk. I'm only honky tonk. Yeah, I'm going to be honky tonk. Oh no, I call me today, honkless. You have for a change. Because me reg on. You know I got repaired in hip switch. Yeah. Went last week.
Starting point is 00:03:56 What? Blown out. Blown out yet. Blown the mechanism. Mechanism's gone again. So it's going off to whip switch again. So I'll pay you a go in touch. All right.
Starting point is 00:04:07 Oh, my bump. Springtime is upon us and I always think there is a happy and yet sad time of the year. You know. Happy because it's full of, like from a Hina and your beginnings, but sad because it will inevitably come to an end, all to some, like things do you know. When I married the wife I was, oh yeah the girl, it felt like my life would be a permanent springtime,'ve opportunity and growth and that, but things I've got a little bit palad recently, you know. Dog death.
Starting point is 00:04:57 This week, like, I taught me wife to assist the doler fees for supper. I'n ddolyf i'n ffysupau. Mae'n yw'n dyn i'n tebwllau'n ddolyf i'n ddolyf i'n ffysupau i'n ddolyf i'n ddolyf i'n ddolyf i'n ddolyf i'n ddolyf i'n ddolyf i'n ddolyf i'n ddolyf i'n ddolyf i'n ddolyf i'n ddolyf. A'r ffysupau, mae'n ddolyf i'n ddolyf i'n ddolyf i'n ddolyf i'n ddolyf i'n ddolyf i'n ddolyf i'n ddolyf i'n ddolyf i'n ddolyf i'n ddolyf i'n ddolyf i'n ddolyf i'n ddolyf. You know, for Manchester City, there is Liverpool much. Put that for a way you fuck an ignorant for a normaac. Where I am, fuckin' manners, down the front of your fuckin' sweatpants like the rest of your life. And then Dorothy came in like... Oh, Dorothy, that colour that cauliflower cheese looks perfectly nice.
Starting point is 00:05:47 I usually brown the cheese off under the grill, but it's not a foregone problem. Dorothy says, Dorothy says like, Oh, I've done it a tally in the restaurants, but if that's too hayfalutin for you, I can pop it in- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- a- you undermine me in front of my sister, you fucking gravestone of a blog, fuck! Now but you never put it on the grill of... That's not the fucking point, it's about my little fucking support you wanted, clown!
Starting point is 00:06:38 And don't forget back in, the wife says, it would be okay like if I swapped my seat Dorothy. There's a bit of a draft here and the viewer of the garage wall is a bit forgun greedy for my liking. Dorothy. Oh I put you there because you insisted on that seat last time you came, but yes, by your whole folk and means move. Ah, she's right over here. You know you didn't insist on that seat last time, like? Ah, it's okay. I don't want to cause a fuss. Daddy, have you got some salt for the cauliflower for one cheese? Well, I did season it according to my macopia, folk and white recipe, but I'm sure you know I'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yn yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yn yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yn yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yn yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yn yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yn yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yn yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yn yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yn gweithio'r ymwch yn gweithio'r ymwch yn gweithio'r ymwch yn gweithio'r ymwch yn gweithio'r ymwch yn gweithio'r ymwch yn gweithio'r ymwch yn gweithio'r ymwch yn gweithio'r ymwch yn gweithio'r ymwch yn gweithio'r ymwch yn gweithio'r ymwch yn gweithio'r ymwch yn gweithio'r ymwch yn gweithio'r ymwch yn gweithio'r ymwch yn gweithio'r ymwch yn gweithio'r ymwch yn gweithio'r ymwch yn gweithio'r ymwch yn gweithio'r ymwch yn gweithio'r ymwch yn gweithio'r ymwch yn gweithio'r ymwch yn gweithio'r ymwch yn gweithio'r ymwch yn gweithio'r ymwch yn gweithro'r y I have a good old, and I have a good old state, a brick fireplace. I was in a classic cannon gas fire, and featuring a lovely blast vendor.
Starting point is 00:08:29 Suddenly I hear the alert, and my phone's all sneaked up, peek at me, and scream like, oh, get in there! Laurie says, save the penalty! How dare you look at your phone when Dorothy is prepared to these beautiful fork and scram! Dorothy, Dorothy charmed him as well. Yet you cheeky little bastard, over and dare you! Go to yours out side by the gullage! Wife!
Starting point is 00:08:59 Wife says. Quite fork and agree, well said Dorothy! Get out you little fork and prick, and when your fin get out you little fucking prick and when you're finished go and sit in the for gun cartel I'm ready. And yet love, sorry love, sorry Dorothy. So if I am Bob Oaks I had Dorothy's Oaks in my car like we're in for a wife in waiting for spring to kick into my life. I've got to cook my jokes like for me jokeboxer.
Starting point is 00:09:29 And you've got to grow, you know, see what you think. So I bumped in on mate late and I asked him what he was up to. He said, oh, I prepare meals you know for homeless, I make some drinks and that. I said, no, I use charity work, yeah. And he said, no, it's well-sponsored. So, it's like kids one boy in Thailand, right? Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they are so good at it.
Starting point is 00:10:07 So I mean, doctor told me to take up an egg actively, you know, it keeps me out of the pub, right? So I started smoking. Not to keep them, I'm maybe my wife, you know, she texted me, she said, wish you were here. She does it every time she visits the cemetery. So there you go, our wife will be out soon, like so, I'll sign off. One peater beardsly, there did only one Pete Erbeezley.
Starting point is 00:10:50 So Peter, that was them two wives that had been that passive aggressive weren't they? A little bit, that's what they call it. Yeah, yeah. It did very well to do all the voices and include a third character there, I thought, because it was very fun for you to potentially, I thought it was a real... Well I told you I'm not very well. That was a tip from Peter Beatsy that was sending in. Of course. Yeah, I was ill when I received it. And I liked the tip where he answered my thing where I said, Jock was better than me. Thank you. That was well pre-appered. There's more to Peter than me at the age of just. You know I've still got the dining room I live in with this.
Starting point is 00:11:27 I'll hell's brook loose this week. What were they's they're coming up and I think they've put a written requesting asking if they can go egg rolling. I like that right. No it's nice usually but I'm a bit nervous about them bringing out and about while the UK is in holiday mode you know. Too many variables. Yeah, could get busy for the half-couldn't you? So many variables for them. No, she's done a half-sbangles, man. All right, you still doing that? She's been out of RAMA.
Starting point is 00:11:50 I'm just going to contact with bangles. It's brought down now. All right. I hope to reconnect at some point, but add the minutes. Well, maybe there's an enormous huff of bangles. What? Maybe I could get in there, like, in hooking. Well, I'm not hooking you up, but you can have a go
Starting point is 00:12:02 or like through the usual channels, like social media, if you don't know I'm finding a good insta She's on insta just send her a message Anywhere but no I don't know I'm not going to go egg rolling so I said no But I put a ramp up in the yard nice for the roll eggs down I've got a plank it's down nothing at the minute So I'm going to use that and put some cookery books down like to elevate it
Starting point is 00:12:21 That's good point good book the use that do, I've got like ten cookery books, so it'll be quite high ramp. I don't go soft landing at the bottom, so banana ram is going to have to take turns lying on the ground, so cushion the fall of the egg when it rolls down. But it's a very thin plank. It's very thin plank. What was it previously used for? It was just, I don't know, I was planked with there when I moved in when I got the case. So it's a thin plank, so's gonna be like an element of jeopardy I reckon with the eggs Cuz I could come off at the sides, but I think that's what the nine ram and needs but jeopardy Yeah, but it's yep keep put it
Starting point is 00:12:56 That they keep still exactly you got the keys then what is it is it social housing? Yeah, I was the case of the keys for hotel. Yeah, no, I need I was in the car. Yeah, I was in the car. Yeah, I was in the car. Yeah, I was in the car. Yeah, I was in the car. Yeah, I was in the car. Yeah, I was in the car. Yeah, I was in the car. Yeah, I was in the car.
Starting point is 00:13:11 Yeah, I was in the car. Yeah, I was in the car. Yeah, I was in the car. Yeah, I was in the car. Yeah, I was in the car. Yeah, I was in the car. Yeah, I was in the car. Yeah, I was in the car.
Starting point is 00:13:19 Yeah, I was in the car. Yeah, I was in the car. Yeah, I was in the car. Yeah, I was in the car. Yeah, I was in the car. Yeah, I was in the car. Yeah, I was in the car. Yeah, I was in the car. Yeah, I was in the room. Well, I've said no. Obviously, put the wreck in the mic move on. If I don't change my mind. Well, maybe you should get them.
Starting point is 00:13:29 But they're just stunned off. So I've compromised. I've said they're going to have a cactus. They're going to have a watch. A cactus? A cactus? Nice for a banana, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:39 Better than a clock, I reckon. Anyway, I'm going to have to go up because this dog bite needs looking at the stars. I don't know who's in. Oh, it does look badly. I I'll get on instead the sous-sanna. All right Andra would you like to play a quiz with me? I love to. Would you like to play socks? Pap-boying
Starting point is 00:13:58 PENOTES Undepans give me just a little more time shirt pap-boying Give me just a little more time. Shirt, pop, boring. Oh yeah, shorts, hatstand. Mr. Venantes. Would you like to play that? More than you could believe. Okay, well I'm taking you to Emineth. Marks and Spences.
Starting point is 00:14:17 Very, uh, un-un-un-un-un. And we're looking at socks, cotton trunk underpants, white plain cotton shirt, black sweatshirts, yeah. So it's a five pack of black socks. One white cotton shirt, one pair of black sweatshirts, a five pack of cotton trunk underpants, cheapest to most expensive, a vice versa. Oh, I bet there's not much between them.
Starting point is 00:14:50 Price wise. And the biggest price difference is a five. Really yet. Cheapest. I'm gonna go for the socks. Okay. And then I'm gonna go for the Jesus the shirt, okay, then the undercrackers
Starting point is 00:15:17 Yep, and then the sweatshirts, okay, well you're completely and totally wrong again I drew but then I suppose you shop down the other zone It's a really good friend of George. Yeah, cheapest is the five pair of cotton trunk underpants at a tenor. Cheap than the socks. Yep. Second is the five pack of black socks, a 12th quid. Third is the black sweatshirts at 1250, and the most expensive item, the white cotton shirt of 15 quid.
Starting point is 00:15:38 Yeah, I was all over the place. All over the place. All over the place. Nothing at all. So that was socks, socks, pups, boring, pots, underpants, giving me just a little more time. Short shirt, part-boy. Oh yeah, shorts, hats, stand, Mr. Fernandez. And I hope you enjoyed it, lad. Was that right, yeah? Yeah, that right. Thanks. If you listen to this and you haven't already subscribed to our club, Passnips, which
Starting point is 00:16:06 is our new subscription service, it's only £2 a month. This is legitimate, I'm making a sound like the thing I've made up, but it's legitimate. £2 a month and you'll get all your mincep episodes three days early, advert free, you will get a bonus episode of a new podcast called Athletical Passnips. I'm on that fatigue, I'll passnips. My name's Mr McClaren. There you go. What else will look at a bonus compilation episode of, for example, South African stories or beadsley? Yeah, I'm coming in like a little bit of
Starting point is 00:16:38 parsnips because I haven't got much work on me at the moment. I thought that I would bit the path. And you also get an exclusive Benpix animation once a month. And if we do any more live shows, you'll get early bird tickets and heads up. So two pounds a month. Athleticomins.com slash parsnips. Go and have a look. It's hockey season and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a nice drink on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain ol' ice? Yes, we deliver those.
Starting point is 00:17:18 Gold tenders no, but chicken tenders yes, because those are groceries, and we deliver those too. Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See out for details.
Starting point is 00:17:41 Hi there, guys. Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Holmowner, what's the C4? Salon ships it. It's been an incredible week, even by my outrageous standards. Basically, I'm shitting into a golden pot of triumph. Let's make a list of runes. At one, I've upgraded my kitchen lighting rig to LED. I've now got the equivalent of 12. Yeah, you heard it right. 12, 100 watt bowls focused directly on my camper chew chew hub, flick a button, and their focus swivels to my hot desk in Maginarium.
Starting point is 00:18:39 At two, I just topped up my tax-efficient iso before the cutoff date of the 5th of the April. It's a tax-free umbrella for my savings, and the side of that umbrella reads, I won't let you down. At three, I made a move on the young Asian girl that's just starting in the letting department. Popped a banana in a handbag and a caulge yet in a desk drawer. Don't think it will take long for the penny to drop, and even less time after that, for a nickers to do the same.
Starting point is 00:19:09 Ah! I know, I know, I know it's bant. Oh, man. At four, I've shaved my entire body with a Japanese shishuuki knife. Now I'm a smooth. Now I'm a smooth as a pelicans under twaddle. I rub oil of plum into my golden pelts every evening.
Starting point is 00:19:29 Before bed I scrape it off with a spatula and use it as a lubricant for my kitchen island. A five took the TT to be hand washed and waxed by the Polish migratos. The Greatlands. They're Greatlands. They're going high into the business sky, because they work. Then board a rose for myself at the garden center. If you don't love yourself,
Starting point is 00:19:56 then in my case, you're missing a big time. Anyway, Ms. Dashiruni got a Skype call with a chick from the Rygate office. Big life changing milestone watershed moment for her. She's about to fall in love Chow Bella with an extra slice of wonderful on the tippity top. I'm Barry C. Home on I'll take you high into the business Do any of the school stuff I did heart. I like? Yeah, I mean, I mean I like his eye, he's got something going on. He's got some kind of vibrancy, I can't quite connect with it though. Do any of the schools in Sunderland, I serve fresh food?
Starting point is 00:20:38 The schools, I believe they do, I don't want to be here enough for it. You pay for your toque in a diff school dinners. And you think you don't think it's spent on sweet cigarettes and twigs. I don't know how I do, I just don't see it. The kid doesn't tell me. Do you have, do you know that come from,
Starting point is 00:20:56 was that apropos of anything in particular? Do you have toilet paper, anything? All right. Or do you just hang a teaspoon from the system? That is wonderful, Andy. I just wondered. No, I got a minute, then. I don't see why I should.
Starting point is 00:21:14 Why should the grid be so even further by commenting on that? Is that right? Oh, there's right. Right. Get him in. Open the door, shall... Are you alright? Come in, I've Andy's seat... Are you alright? Err, boy!
Starting point is 00:21:25 Coming out of Andy's seat! Where's the seat? I have Andy's seat there. Oh, it's a bit high. What does he have this spare time of wood health? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha a history recently, right? Yes, this indeed. I'm very proud to have become the first man to win a war have a battle in under two minutes TV star and notorious Crystal Palace fan Susanna Reed paid a visit to the hospitality suite at Sellers Park and I took the opportunity to challenge him and show them. Yeah, that's not actually what I was referring to. So that was a few time, man.
Starting point is 00:22:02 She'd only attempt to set up a childish lineup of mainly chaos warriors and demons Before I used forsaken as a fast flanking unit totally engulfed that. She didn't ever clue what was going on It was just wandered off with a glazed look on her face after about a minute and a half Demons on their fat little asses everywhere you looked. I even took the Liberty performing a small pre-eventory jig on the flash carpet about 50 seconds in. Very, very satisfying. I could tell you. Right, right, right, right.
Starting point is 00:22:32 I was referring to the fact that Palace was the first visit inside to Tottenham's new stadium a couple of weeks ago. Oh, oh, yeah, that, well, yeah, it looks fancy, I suppose, but I found myself distracted for most of the game. Trying to work out how many warms it figures I could have bought for the billion pounds that they are actually pissed off of a stadium cost a build. Warramar, yeah?
Starting point is 00:22:53 Warramar. Warramar. Warramar. Warramar. Warramar. Warramar. You're a basket case. Warramar.
Starting point is 00:23:03 And how many figures do you reckon you could buy for a billion quid? Well, to know about a billion probably. I didn't factor in the paint though. I'm not a mathematician anyway. Or a magician for that matter. I'm just an old man. An old man with a passion. A passion for whore ever. Whore ever. Whore ever. Whore ever.
Starting point is 00:23:21 But you lost that night, so that's a bit of a setback in it. No, I wasn't by default. So all over the unload forums. No, I think Spurs night, so that's a bit of a setback in it. No, one by default, so all over the online forums. No, I think Spurs 1, 2, 2. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and he super-stayed you. Yeah, and did you? No, I was freaking never showed up. I had a wallpaper placed in the table rigged up by the players entrance, I was top-ever, with skin and wolves and marauder horsemasters and I was assumed I'd just batter him and say, wow, bats is on a read. Yeah, but Bostrino was no show was he? Well, he was, I think he said David Plitt along in his place, but he turned up over in 1980 to his first debut young day in a pew and a trainer box.
Starting point is 00:24:06 I was just telling him to go fuck himself. Well, maybe he'll have more luck in your next match, yeah? Oh, I don't care. All right, you don't care. Well, right, sorry, right? I'm just trying to be positive, you know. I'm off for that, because I'm filming a titspy getting into it. And that's when I know I'm good at stuttering.
Starting point is 00:24:21 Lashy there. So, I'm going to bid you a good day. Any moment, I hope you get perils every time you try a cast of smite that's better isn't it do you want a better fight alright so you later I whaamma whaamma whaamma whaamma he was a bit on edge bit on edge one eh are they still in trouble are they still in danger around the game I think everyone's CFX set Pallus and Brighton no pretty much On edge bit on edge, honey. Yeah, are they still in trouble? Are they still in danger? Renegades or something? I think everyone's safe except Palace and Brighton know pretty much. Well, so Palace
Starting point is 00:24:50 I've done it. No, Palace or my top of Cardiff and Brighton. Cardiff and Brighton. Yeah, I'm bothered about that. Premier League, I just kept it League one. Is it really? It's really sad. So you had a little bit of air-bake up, didn't you? Just a little bit got butter battered by Convent Re54 or? Was it good fun that much? We know, no it was not fun at all. No fun. I mean you think it would be horrible. 24 hours in police custody, you made a, I haven't been capable of that, but it Bob.
Starting point is 00:25:14 Last week was fantastic. What was it about last week? What was it about? About the surgeon who put in a fraudulent insurance claim. Oh that's so tight. Oh it's a cracker, I'm sorry. See I've been asking for white collar crime rather than just murders and drugs and murder and stuff.
Starting point is 00:25:26 And so much cause of spiralism. It's a cracker. Please, the last episode of this and they've gone out and knocked one together to my needs. Did you watch any of the live operations that I've been on time? No, I did, I saw a bit of one of them. Which one did you see?
Starting point is 00:25:41 I think it was a liposuction, maybe, so the heart or something like that. Yeah. It was inside, it was inside body. Yeah. I mean, I found them fascinating. I found them one fascinating on the brain where the fellow I'd to keep speaking. Yeah. Well, they could touch it a little bit. They could touch it a bit to the brain and make you do different voices. Yeah. And then, you know, they make you do impressions, Andy. Yeah. But you can't, if it touched a certain part of the brain, it makes you voice like turn from Welsh to Chinese and then Italians yeah, different parts of it. They just touch it with a pencil. It is true that people do work up and suddenly they speak Chinese
Starting point is 00:26:13 That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what I don't know that anyone's necessarily touched the brain journey But they've had a bang on the head. I've never noticed what it is. Oh, I say what you mean. Yeah. All right, yo I Oh right, yo. I, Andrew, was in North London last week. Oh, wait. I've been some special shoes with lifts and them fitted. You know to give me that bit of extra height. Yeah. Like so I don't have to ask the wife to get the sweets down from the top shelf.
Starting point is 00:26:38 Of course. Yeah. Where she keeps them. Um, shops called, and I think it's called, it's called Raising Agents. That's nice. It's all right in it. It raising agents. That's the thing. It's all right in it. That's clever. So in North London.
Starting point is 00:26:48 Yeah, after the fitting, right? Of course, you know where I went. I went straight to the slaughters. Right, yeah. Way to clocked me straight away. And this is how it went. All right. I see your back again.
Starting point is 00:26:59 It's Thursday. Did you bring something matey in for the chef's husky as required? Yeah, I did actually. Yes, I got some rib bones from a fox I found in an area. Bones? That was last week your shuddy parcel of imported fuck. It's gravy, often redacted, yeah. No gravy, no fucking meat. No, I'm sorry, I had an absolutely no idea. It's all on our fucking website so if only you take the time and trouble checking advance. Oh yeah, should what is it just like slaughters.com or something?
Starting point is 00:27:31 No meatparty.fuck.org actually. Well at this point right it goes a bit dark, feel a little bit of vibration in the floor. It's aging arriving at its table yeah, so the weight of. I'll be back shortly, don't move a muscle or you'll be looking at a one-way trip to that ministry of fuck. So off he goes to surveyed you and of course I'll start out here wiggling, you know, see what's been said. Yeah. Sayedry in there. Oh fuck, fuck, I am gagging and popping for a piping hot doors of afternoon meat. By the way, I've left a damaged on full of my personal gravy by the front door for the chef's horski.
Starting point is 00:28:10 What's the sweat percentage, innit sir? It's coming at 67%. Fook off and get in now. What is today's specials? What can you and I mean specifically you launch into my Falcon face in the next 45 minutes. Get this, you lump of pure fuck. Option one is a wicker basket fashion from Arles and Flange sausages filled with pan fried slices of free-range turkey wakal. Oh, fuck that's got me, Jeggy Nanna Joggin. You me Tahiro.
Starting point is 00:28:47 My belly juices are doing the Falkan Macarena over here. To write, the combination of flavours and textures will send you all away to the land of Falkanori. And back again, just in time for the Falkan Wumbles. Don't commit to it, just yet to. Your second option is half a cult. Half a cult. Oh, which half, which half? The half.
Starting point is 00:29:10 Oh, yes, oh, four, yes. Forking continue the description right now you flesh-baddling titan. Half a cult, medium scorched in an industrial furnace, and garnished with a duller-buff-pureed meal-fed looks. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, sides. I'd highly recommend the steroid-fueled racing snails, served on a bed of boiled chicken livers. Steroids it, ah, folks, their rides could get me drummed out of that. For about 18 months plus. Oh, I might take a chance though, for a delve into the pleasure of racing snails, do they come shallon? No, sir, very fucking sorry sir. The shells have all run it, due to the stirruids. They
Starting point is 00:30:07 come naked and fucking massive. Oh, fuck you greasy little enabler. Christ my tits are twitching so hard that I'm about to fly off their fucking mooring. Have you got something to keep me sent Burnad-Appie? I could boil up some oxy elis in that dirty fucking gravy abroad. Oh, that's lovely, now get a far-todden. I'm already on the fucking brinck, sir. And like, so before, he could nick me, yeah, yeah, and tell me to get out, because I know that's where he was coming out, took me chance, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:37 I've gotten certain, I'd nicked off. Yeah, so that was nice, because I only really got here, what, so I've a bit of a listen. And then I was out back onto the streets Hey Bob, the bangles are still walking like an Egyptian I mean it was 1986 Well probably occasionally a long time to be doing it without getting it sick of it or be having something that I've adverse effect on your joints Crouching and creeping and all that
Starting point is 00:31:01 Crouching and creeping I mean I expect family or friends have probably told them to pack it in by now It's a little bit of what the Will it stop if I say yes, I believe they are Yeah, the footer deer yeah, yeah, yes, I believe the bangles still work that Egyptians. Yeah, thank you, Bob. Thanks for asking Can we end with a mortar and question? I've got a mortar and question Oh, yeah. If you're approaching a grain light, yes, do you give it a bit extra just to get over the line? Yes, good.
Starting point is 00:31:30 What about orange light? Depends on the distance. What about orange light when you just knowing your guts it's about to church? Yeah, I'll go through. You'll go through and red light you just go through. Yeah, just do that. I understand. So this is a new same Monitoring questions. I've got too far. You've got a lot of them if you're approaching around about and there's a big queue Yeah, and you want to go straight on onto the left would you be cheeky and go at the right? I'll go all the way you would I do it I do it. We know that's against the law, don't you? Is it illegal? I think it is against the highway call or something and that's against the law, don't you? Is it illegal? I think it is. I just get the eye wear cause.
Starting point is 00:32:06 That's the same thing, isn't it? Is it? I've never seen anyone get nicked for a putt that year. Yeah, no, I've got a particular round about where. You do that. No, I can get past a cube of like 50-60 people there doing that. Yeah. You think you're better than then 50 or 60 people?
Starting point is 00:32:20 No, I don't. I think I've got more important things to do. Right. You know, I've got a lot of... That's an honest answer. I've got a lot things to do right, you know, I got an honest answer I got a lot telly to watch do you watch Game of Thrones? No, I watched the first series. Yeah, because someone told me I'd like it Yeah, and they were wrong. I give it 10 hours of me time and at the end of that 10 hours I thought right well, I've done me a bit. No, no more I've heard a rumor that I've done me a bit. Right, no more.
Starting point is 00:32:42 I've heard a rumor that Roy Hutchins got himself really, really into it. So that's interesting. That's very interesting. I wonder if he'll have about to say about that. We'll find out about that the next episode as well. One more question. Given that not redone burnt to the ground.
Starting point is 00:32:56 Yeah. Recently, is there a particular building you'd like to say burnt to the ground, Bob? Oh, that's a difficult one, Andrew. Good. I don't have an interview mean like ugly or the contents or its function. Yeah, anything any building you'd like to say
Starting point is 00:33:11 raised to the ground by fire. I can't instantly think of one. Um, fuck, you got me, you got me there. That's all right. That's probably got you some more positive points against your roundabout trick. You've got Macaloon Macaloon and Conti and Smith Yeah, we take is that Paddy Macaloon it is it's the classic pre-fops broke line up from the mid-1980s
Starting point is 00:33:35 All right, so why not Conti Smith Macaloon? Well Macaloon is the singer Paddy not the thing is better brother Well, Macaloon is the singer Paddy. Not the singer's best, is it? He's brother. So, I don't know the family connection. Well, why don't you, I know it's Root to Conti and Smith, but why don't you, I prefer Macaloon, he's more important. Well, he's wrote all the songs.
Starting point is 00:33:53 Did he, though? Yeah. You asked them in the studio, right? Oh, right. We'll get them in next time, I asked them. It looks very different now, Paddy Macaloon, don't you? Yeah, it looks like a wizard. I suppose he does, yeah, and it Maca-Loondon. Yeah it looks like a wizard. I suppose he does
Starting point is 00:34:05 yeah and it was a lot of red clothing. Yeah, it's quite a recluse. But it looks like someone that everyone would look at and point. Do you go and creep around trying to find him? Not yet. Where was there one day when I got some spare time yeah? Where does he live up north? He lives up County Tharam yeah. He seems to know a lot about it what's his house look like. It's quite nice. It's alright yeah. And now I'll load out. Private lander. How much further has your tunnel got to go? Longer. Longer.
Starting point is 00:34:29 We'll keep working on it. I've got the drone though. I've got the drone with the camera and that flies over a couple of times a week. Right, that's enough. Let's go now. See you around. Turn on. It's fall and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats.
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