Athletico Mince - Ep. 81 - Return To The Laughter Emporium
Episode Date: April 29, 2019Ian Holloway confronts Steve, Roy reveals his other obsession, there’s an electrical retail quiz, some train poetry and we explore Sean Dyche’s home. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/at...hleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See So Andrew, welcome to the podcast, that's the medical message.
Robert, I say you were in a very tight sweatshirt a day for some weird reason, it's got...
Didn't use to be tight.
It's got, think fast, think gas written on the front, what's that all about?
Think fast, think gas, it's meant for the gas market in board now.
No, it's just good advice when you're
working with or around gas. Is that embroidery? Because it looks like it's a
stich on it. It's that stick on felt stuff. Is that what it is?
Iron it on, yeah. It's very good. But yourself, did you? What you, you know,
talked about my t-shirt, t-shirt, and I think it's an effort to divert me from
your appearance at the stadium, a light at the weekend.
You were the half-time entertainment.
I thought you were going to say the heartthrob.
No, no.
You were the half-time entertainment.
I was, well, it was a 200 performance.
Tell us about what was it like.
I was really fun.
I mean, you might have just seen the last bit,
because what we had to do was we started at the dugout
and we had to re-assaround the perimeter of the pitch and then we got the opposite halfway
line. We cut inside on the pitch, a carefully selected child through a ball at
us and then the object was first one to get the ball in the back of the net.
A regular thing, far inside. Yeah, they do it.
Meets, dad and lad, whatever, you know.
I've got admit, when the ball came to me feet, about 30 yards out for a fleeting moment,
I thought, I've got to fuck this in from here.
But you resisted.
I'm putting it in, I don't care what me kid thinks.
You nearly took him out on the penalty spot though, didn't you?
I, I, I, I didn't know, because he was clean through.
No, you didn't have to.
You didn't have to take him.
I wanted to send out of the game.
Well, you know, I thought,
oh, this could go viral if I take him out.
And is that all you think?
You want to be an influence?
I always think about a social media opportunity.
Yeah.
So what was it like getting on the pitch?
Oh, it's great.
Loved it.
I've been on Riverside a couple of times.
What, like legally?
Yeah, doing an aviation. You really feel low. You can make sure of the atmosphere. Riverside coupler times what like legally yeah
You really feel low
The presence of the atmosphere you know draw it off time someone like that I've done the the meat draw and I've taken apparently half way line
What like a run up into an open goal
It's that their sort of version of half time at the time they tried it once they tried it
So they got you want to try and get a boost.
Didn't reach.
Did you, didn't reach the goal?
You didn't reach the goal.
No, it's too scary out there man.
All those eyes on you.
So when you were being watched by 30,000 people
wherever you, you think to yourself,
I tell you what, I'll take me, you know, young boy out.
Well first of all, I thought I'm just putting this in
from 30 yards out with the outside of me boot.
Yeah.
But, yeah, that could have been embarrassing. So I just thought the kid out said, he scored though you didn't
he scored. I did and he was the winner. I was the bad guy yet again. If you want to
name Andrew, I've got two choices for you. You can be Keith Swindles, right? Yeah.
Tell you why we operate, right? He goes out shopping for shoes, yeah, the shops, yeah.
And then when he's trying them on, he fates, insists on an ambulance,
and then he gets the shoes for free. Watch and get that rose. I like that. I'm all in for a very
word that insists on an ambulance. Or you could be Johnny Thresh old. Every spring he dresses head
to foot in a lilac-ac colour clothing and hangs himself above front
doors to get the impression of a wisteria in blue. Oh lovely I'm very in a lilac the same
a year. Well that's a try to be on the other side. I think the ambulance man takes the
kick. Oh what a fucker ambulance! No I think you're alright. No, I want to fuck you. Get one, get one, no.
I'm preparing to wait.
You can be, if you like.
Oh, God.
You can be.
We usually honky-tonk.
You can be honky-tonk or you can be drive-thru, Jason.
Well, yeah.
Now, he's converted to the garden on the side of his house
and the nice drive-thru area.
And he sells toffee pennies and little cups of warm top water
for 20 pence each of a hatch. He says
you can have it for free if you kiss his hand but no one's ever took him up on that
as yet. 20 pence for 20 pence. 20 pence. Yeah. Okay. Or you can be Dame
Fanny Shanklin. Yeah. She's 92 retired Bingo caller from Thursk. Son and Laws got a
mobile butchers van. She goes round with them chopping the meat in the back of the van.
I'll actually sing some short tunes at 92 years old.
Round of applause for James Finishing for reaching the age of 92.
What's your reckon?
I think I'm gonna be Hunky-Tunk as always but I might be Bobby Hunky-Tunk.
Right why? Just think maybe I want to personalize it to me you
know I don't know but Bobby yonky Bobby yonky tongue go on
Bobby tongue Bobby tongue Bobby hunk Bobby hunk hunk
whatever was he brought your hunko with you no I've left it home you have it
sandwich that I say that I'm having an egg sandwich while you do this podcast. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Depends on how's it getting married because some of the bounties might be guests as well. It might be an entirely bouncer only.
A congregation.
Just give us an answer Andy.
What is the ready for?
60 40 bouncer's yeah.
Andrew, a standard Sunderland funeral.
What is the accepted ratio of bounties to get?
40 60.
40 60.
Yeah.
Bit less trouble.
Bit less trouble. More subdued. Andrew. Yeah. Bit less trouble. Bit less trouble.
More subdued.
Andrew.
Yeah.
A standard Sunderland Children's Party.
What is the accepted ratio of Bouts as to kids?
Is it 1 to 1?
50, 50.
So it's 1.
Yeah, it is.
Yeah.
Well, I'm glad I asked that.
Do you want to quit?
Oh, I have.
Do you want to quiz?
Oh, do you want me to tell you a duck story?
Do I want to have a quiz while you're in the mood. Finish your sandwich, well you're doing it.
Hey it's called Kettle, Iink Boying Toaster. Give me just a little more time. Toothbrush, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink,ink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink,ink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink,ink, Iink, Iink, Iink,ink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink,ink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink,ink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink,ink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink,ink, Iink,ink, Iink, Iink, Iink,ink,ink, Iink, Iink,ink, Iink,ink, Iink,ink,ink, Iink,ink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink,ink,ink,ink, Iink,ink, Iink, Iink Oh yeah! You wanna play? I do!
Same as always Andrew, I thought it was time to go to an electrical retail, yeah?
Right, and I don't want to name it.
I don't want to name it, is it?
It carries, I'm not saying nothing, right?
I took the cheapest of all the items,
and I want you to price them high to low, low, high,
I don't mind which way you go.
It's a 1.7 liter electric kettle.
Yeah.
A two-slice electric toaster.
An oral B electric toothbrush.
Or I can't remember the name of it,
electric under blanket.
Electric under blanket.
Or not like an electric blanket.
It goes under your...
Yeah, an electric the blanket yeah just checking
i'm not googling these are anything right
most expensive yeah to the brush
okay second most expensive
under blanket okay then
uh... and when you look at the kettle one point seven
and it's a two
Slice torso
God Jesus this is odd the kettle is
Slightly more expensive than the toaster so I'm going toothbrush under blanket
kettle toaster
Electric under blanket must most expensive at 12.99.
Then the Toast brush, so you're nearly there, 12.49. Two slice electric toaster, 7.29.
1.7 liter electric kettle, 5.49. So I've got them all completely wrong. Yep, you do. Yeah,
again. You don't know, you shopped it all, do you? No. Why not? Well, you did. Yeah, again. You don't know you shops at all, do you? No,
why not? Well, I'm at a touch probably. I tend to go for bargains, do you know what I mean?
But you don't think of 1.7- I don't pay RRP, I go for a bargain. 1.5- So if the toothbrush was down
to 8.99, that's when I'd pounce. I'm not paying RRP. But Andrew, it's implicit in what you say that if that you knew it was 1249 previously
in it, for it to be a bargain.
Well, I wouldn't know that until it appeared as a bargain.
I would listen to radio.
Are you going to say the name of the quiz again at the end?
Like you know me though, are you going to just pass it by?
You have just played.
Oh God.
Kettle, I ink, buying, tellster.
Give me just a little more time.
Toothbrush,ettle, I ink, buying, tellster. Give me just a little more time.
Toothbrush, buying, I ink, put it out.
Under blanket.
Oh yeah.
Well, we're talking about that sort of thing.
I'd just announce that I'd like to become an influencer.
Yeah.
On the Instagram, maybe.
You just have that.
Yeah. I've got a list the things I'd like to get
if anyone's listening can hook me up with any of this stuff.
I'll take a picture of myself with it,
go on Instagram and influence people.
OK.
It shades and pillowcases, preferably Egyptian cotton,
but I'm not overly fussed.
OK.
Davey, Dave Boxett, I've won the book, comes in.
Some bed and plants, various colors, nice colors.
A first aid kit, a map of the world poster, a nester tables, and the in-text explorer
a keyer to two person kayak with ores and inflation pump.
Oh, you like to get that one? Any of them, anyone wants to send them in? I'll take a picture
with myself and influence the flow of it. I'd like to see you with that elaborate canoe arrangement.
Particularly the kayak.
Up further, nested tables to be honest.
Actually, you would look nice next to a nested table.
With the mollot on display.
Yeah.
Maybe a peanut on one jelly tuts on another.
Canabella on the other.
Canabella?
Yeah.
The canabella on the other one.
Yeah, influencing.
I will listen to radio. Andrew and there's a new shorn, do you know Martin from
Holmes Under the Hammer? Yeah, well he does a show now where he goes to football as
houses to sit and look around the houses tonight and it's quite a good show. On the radio. On the radio yeah. So I recorded one player.
Good. Thought you about that too.
I'd love to hear it. My only problem is I can't do mine, but I especially can't do them
without giving me mouth. No, no. I hope the listeners are enjoying it.
Enjoy listening to you having your picnic. Terrible this episode. Hey well, and welcome.
I'm Martin Roberts from Holmes Under the Hammer.
And today I'm the guest of Sean Dish.
The Managing Football Officer of the Burnley Football Centre.
Hello there, Sean.
Wow, that's quite a beard.
Bit unusual. Put a high kit!
Err Martin, from arms under the hammer, excuse the smell I'm boiling up some underpanks
on the hob. They've become very biscuit-y. Oh that's alright, it's an unusual smell, a bit
different than you don't want to make it.
So this is the hallway.
You've got a lot of pictures on the wall.
Yes, there are all details from my favourite pieces of machinery.
That one there's the Axel Bear in from a 24-arm Norfolk potato plant.
That one is a warning light from a 2004 Corby 7007 Charles press.
The big one at the end is the cotter pin from a henkelman jumbo of 42 cannon machine.
Very unusual, but I like them, it'll be different, so what's next on the tour?
This is Mikasi, as you can see the floor is covered in hair.
I change it once a week and put it on me turnip patch.
I love turnips.
It's a good honest vegetable, you know, unlike kale of fucking God forbid broccoli.
I expect you'll like kale, do you're melting from ones under the hammer?
I do.
It's a bit different, and I like that.
So this presumably is the lounge.
And it's dominated by this rather large machine in the centre of the room!
That's me, Hydealberg's KORS single colour offset printing press.
What is it that you actually print?
Words, motivational words for the team to stare at.
Give me some examples, it all sounds very different and unusual.
Okay, work, gun, axe, kick the busted.
If you haven't spewed up, you haven't turned up.
More axes, balls are there to be kicked.
More work, eight pie, Kick. Rush. Shit. Wow. Highly
emotional images and if you don't mind me saying quite unusual. How'd you get the
shape of your beads or circular by the way. I'll shave it around a 15 outsting of
John Westparn Apple Chunks. Now this is my kitchen.
Yes, I can see and it's dominated by that large machine on the centre table.
What is that?
It's a roller-grill F-60 quartz turbo-convector pie oven.
24 standard pie capacity fully fan assisted.
Is that all you eat then, pies?
No, turnips as well.
Keep your brain in check, don't they?
Don't wanna get high for looting ideas like those foreign coaches with the pasta and
the sauces and their power boiled fucking hairs on lots.
Thank you Sean, a more than usual house.
A little bit different, but I liked it.
I wish you all the best.
Then I stopped recording and that's the little extra tartar play.
Very good, very good.
I hope that comes back again.
You like that show?
Well I'll be on again, do you think?
Yeah, I'll think it might be.
As long as I can make sure that it isn't just Steve McLaren. Do you know that? No, with a bit of a twist.
In between this episode and the last episode of Athletic Omin, we put out an episode of
Athletic O'Parsnips, a new podcast you can only get if you join Club Parsnips.
And here's some bits from it.
Lobbynig Parsnip cropping your back the ad. Click.
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I'm a fucking gangbanger, my dear tin-mo-blad! Click.
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Hey, the UK podcast federation were in touch. Oh, yeah, I've got an exciting reestablish
your memory, man, credentials. I should have done it at the start, but I haven't put
it here. It comes. Are you ready? Do you remember what was on the top left hand side of page 232 of the 1986 autumn winter Argos catalog. Top left 232.
Yes.
There it is. Memory man. Thank you not bad is it.
Potentials reestablished. Thank you. Well done.
I watched the
Pep doc Pep Guadiola documentary
The one that you watched and I watched it yet no I'm not interested in that kind of big club thing
I watched it the day that the struggle those day that they played
Tottenham right and I knew after I'd watched it that Tottenham would win that much. No, I did
Well, I did.
I tell you what it is.
Well, because there's no, apart from maybe DELF,
there's no one in that dressing room.
Got any, like, fight about them.
Really?
A little company's a bit, but a bit polite.
But they're all just sort of nice.
You know, they ain't no Roy Keane, Grant Levin.
No. Nothing like that in there.
I've got a good look at it.
Not a promise I thought, no, they're not going to...
So, they win all the other matches that they win then?
I just knew when it would come into the crunch, this is that they're going to fall down.
Right.
They'll probably lose against United as well. That's my prediction.
Right. Okay.
You know, big stuff, big talk.
Do you like watching climbing documentaries?
I watched a couple of them.
You saw neither there.
They're quite good.
I didn't even know climbing documentaries as a thing.
Pretty good.
Do you access a climbing documentary?
On the climbing documentaries, shouldn't it?
On the climbing documentaries, shouldn't it?
Climbing or climbing?
Climbing.
Climbering up.
No, no, no. I remember watching someoneing up, she or her first is not just a finger.
I remember watching someone climb up the old man of hoi once.
Yeah. That's very vertical for the old man of hoi.
That was impressive.
That was in black and white though.
I think I saw that in blue paper or something like that.
I mean, John Nox.
Noxie.
Yeah, but is there a point you were going to make about?
Well, not just that.
You know, I quite recommend them.
Sadly, I haven't got the, I can't remember the name of them.
Some of like the big wall or...
It's gone then a bit of a dead end, this bit hasn't been...
Yeah, it's us.
Listen, I spend a lot of time on trains, as you know, between Sullen and London,
coming to do this for you.
And it's one of the most romantic and thrilling forms of transport we have for the train,
definitely, I believe.
And it's National Train Portery Week this week.
Right.
So I thought I'd write a little poem about being on the tree and stuff
Oh, we're all very pleased about that. Here we go. It's not very long. Don't worry
spherical little month spreading our hall who put you in charge of the armrest you bull was little wanker
Typing with one hand your kind of red bull grasped in the other
What's with all the fucking sniffing like?
And you there, walking by and grabbing the lid of my laptop to balance yourself as the
train jolt slightly.
What the actual fuck? What the actual fuck?
That's it. You angry little ball.
Was that that real life? Yeah, that was based on
me trend journey. The sniffing in the coffin is a sniffing the worst thing. The armrest.
It was a nightmare. That's first class as well. You went first class. Yes you did.
Didn't you? Yes you did. You wouldn't have said that. Not that you didn't. You don't
get that kind of carry on in first class, Jesus. Is that a Royal Chinatown side? Yeah, I think. There he is. Yeah, come on, get him in.
Hi, alright. Hello. Hi, alright. You come in just a couple of minutes. That's great.
It was very kind of you pair of diabolical little creeps.
What do you want to talk about with me today then?
Well, I wanted to first off congratulate you on your fantastic achievement this weekend.
Yes, thank you.
The 50 pound war hemorrhagger from your lovely old mum.
It's an Easter present. I'm absolutely delighted.
Wow, your mum, wow, you're about 70, aren't you?
71.5 actually, joy boy. So your mum must be a fair old age, and if you're about 70, aren't you? 71.5 actually joy boy.
So your mum must be a fair old age,
is that any if you don't mind me asking?
He's 1008.
Wow, well give her our love and that and everything.
Well, I'll do that if that's seen you subhuman wreck.
No, good.
Oh, what I was referring to was your win-away at Arsenal
on Sunday, it's a massive achievement.
Oh, that, yeah.
Peace and peace really.
It leaves us sitting pretty on 42 points in the safe for another season.
The rest of the season takes care of itself now, leaving me free and focus on my ever big obsession.
Yeah, war by man.
Lama?
War by man.
Lama?
War, war by man.
No, game of phones.
Throws.
Throws.
So, game of throws.
Throws. All right, so you're into that too as well, yeah? No, Game of Thrones. Thrones? Thrones. Game of Thrones.
Thrones.
Alright, so you're into that too as well, I hear.
Of course I don't have to look at some kind of prick.
Well, no, you're down exactly.
I'm active on all the forums, and I've got many theories about who will kill the night king.
Well, I reckon it'll be Jon Snow.
Could you be any more basic, you half-witted baby man?
Jon Snow, have you even seen G.O.T?
Yeah, I've watched the whole lot. Well, you obviously don't understand it then
Wayne energy thinks it'll be John snow and he's never even heard of it
Let's just go to show how I clean up you are
All right, who'll kill the night King now? I'm telling you but what I will say is do you remember when
is do you remember when Gwen Stark said that no one has ever used dragon fire on a night king I'll say no more. I'm a bit confused right? I'm a bit your slow-witted prick.
You might as well go back to walking on the so-to-rint that goes on YouTube.
Come back when you're a big boy eh? Sorry, Rye. I'm off.
Breathing the same air as you two clasps, giving me the dry eaves. Where's the dog?
It's just that way you care, man, Rye All right. I thought I might have been a trick. Good boy then. Yeah, I'll say you, right?
Gamer phones
phones
Gamer phones
Guy was sharp today. Yeah, I suppose it makes sense. He'd like Game of Thrones. He's all that shit, isn't he? Obviously
Vikings and all that nonsense.
And quick question for you, a quick, a brain teaser if you like. What links Bob
Mali, Harrison Ford and Liz Hurley? I have no idea. If I say Dunder University
that might help you a little bit. All got degrees from Dunder University.
Good answer.
The correct answer is now, now links them.
That is excellent.
Sadly, sadly you can't really do that one again.
I'll try.
So Stephen, Casper, having a ride all time, you know, because he's done his destroying
exit.
Of course, he's destroying exit.
Yeah, they're just sat at home eating fun and laughter bars, watching the telly, having
an awfully time.
Absolutely.
So, he's a little extra from it.
Hey Casper, I'm so glad we don't have to deal with that Mr. Fennan des anymore.
He was a right lord Rodney of the city of Plunk, who wasn't he?
Casper nods.
What shall we watch next Casper?
More Poirot.
Casper shrieks his head.
I know.
What about some escape to the country that's such an exciting show.
Casper Shakes is Ed. Well what do you want Casper your little yummy
clod of friendly bubbles and suds would you like to go to the carpet shop check out Check out the new arrivals. Book Casper's Shakespeare Zed. Oh, I'll tell you what. I'll sing a song for you.
We are the Cupid. We haven't got to manage it.
We are the Cupid. We'll finish bottom half.
Book Casper, ain't listening.
What's the matter, Casper?
Do you want to go in the pond for a swimmy woo woo?
Casper nods and Steve lets him out of the back door, right?
But suddenly there's a big bang on the front door and it flies open. It's Ian Holloway.
Oh, he's unshaving his eyes are all dark and baggy, yeah?
His coats are standing ripped and he's holding a big plastic bottle of farm cider, yeah?
Well, I know what you've been up to McLaren.
You never intended for Cupid, aren't you?
I finished five things.
You came in a destroyer club and then get out.
That was my job, you stole.
I don't know what you're on about, Mr Holloway. I think you've had too much track to
whine. I would never do anything like that to my good friend Mr Thinak and his wonderful
mid-table team. Oh yeah, well explain us bastard tape then. So Ian turns on the little tear recorder that he'd hidden in Steve's office the day that he was sacked.
Oh.
Hello, is that Sam? Sam Aladai? Is it Hello Sam? I've got some great news.
Distroying Exitupia, successfully completed.
Just you wait till I give this to Mr Fernandez
and the newspapers you'll be finished McLaren.
No, it's just that not what you think again.
Shut up you fraud and take that lump of pork scratching off your head
why it's still in talking to you.
Okay, that's it.
That's not a pork scratch, isn't it Pippin' Willie. That's me, Herr Island!
Shot the fog up McLaren. No, have you got a carrot, a driver's to the Fernandez
gaff? I've got my clown car in the garage, but it runs on candy floss in
grizzly-bears dreams, and I'm clean out of bush.
Well, at that point Casper re-as-up behind Holloway's shoulder
is next well-zup and he forces a jet of spew
directly into Holloway's ear.
Holloway falls to the floor, dropping his tape recorder.
As my head exploded or shom-
it's a surest fuck thing it might of.
Hey, where's my tape um thingy thing?
You know the type, tape playin' thingy.
I tell no, right you are not about Mr Halloween.
I didn't see you with one.
Maybe it's the farmer's side of playing tricks on your mind.
Wayans a bit confused and he starts searching for his tape.
Steve looks out of the back window just in time
to see Casper disappearing into the pond with the tape recorder in his mouth.
Well, I think it's time you went on your way.
Oh, you got lucky somehow. I'll work it out and I'll be back, my clarin.
Do you hear me? I'd be back!
And with that, he stumbled out onto the street
and made his way off.
Good work, Casper, you yummy fountain of sweet iced crispy biscuits.
Shall we get back to Puerro?
And Casper nods as if to say,
fucking right, we should.
So, but you know, one question I've got from that, yeah? I heard a reference to track the wine, yeah, where can I get track the wine?
You track the wine, you can only get it on the edge of fields in Somerset. Oh right, that's a good one for me. You look a dry one there. Good stuff though.
I've still got banana ram, little ones. God help us, ladies and gentlemen. I'm getting sick of them now.
I've been dropping in since time they moved on,
but they're doing same, my latkeying.
I like them that much.
The vast difference, I'm putting a pop festival
and they meet back yard in a couple of months.
They've all been writing about it in their exercise books
and don't draw on it and that.
I don't know if that'll be bothered.
We'll pop festival.
Not a wee wee if it's pop festival.
That's what I'm thinking.
I mean, they want to put the stage down there,
the back gear under the corrugated plastic so it keeps them dry if it's popfest. That's what I'm thinking. I mean, they want to put the stage down there, the back gate under the corrugated plastic,
so it keeps them dry if it rains.
But I don't think that's very fair in the customers.
I put the knout, and the knout if they're not practical.
Keep an eye on the driver, the customers are not be dry if it rains over the thing they are.
And I'm not having people coming in now,
looking for shelter while I'm busy watching out,
they very hub, I mean, stop taps down that end of the yard as well.
I mean, what, I was if there was a water emergency while they run steeds down the sun.
You have to under up the performance, will you?
A kiss, a kiss.
Do they need someone to do the catering?
No, no.
No, I'm not doing a catering.
Why?
A guard doing a cook.
I thought you were being involved.
I was asking about banana ram.
I'd like to be involved with banana ram, but not with a cookin'.
No.
Well, I mean, you put your poor outdoor buffet on or something like that. Just some, some, some, I'll have some, involved with banana and rum or not with a coconut. No. Well, I mean, you put it out there before you're on something like that.
Just some, some, some, some, I'd ask some like grips and...
Well, grips and sausage should be nice.
Some are like that, but I'd rather stick.
I'd rather stick with that, like, yeah.
I mean, if it all goes well, then I'd say,
move it out, come round over here.
Would you check them in?
I'd like that, I'd like them to be.
You shall ask them.
If you'd ask me if they're coming over with me, like,
I'd be up here to do that. Do you want them permanent? I'd just for a bit. I want them for under six months contract. a'r ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn d stuff now so I'll say later on. Nice looking fox. Isn't it? I was in North London near Finnsbury Park.
Oh, I thought I'd go into the santi because all is laughter and
poor him.
Good.
You know, I'd always get on without him and that.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Well, I actually all seem much the same but when you go in I suppose it's a
sensor or something who starts up a little film on our massive screen right in
front of you and it's a message from Santa yeah
hey greetings fellow laughter Bill Grim and welcome to Santa's laughter and
podium I love to laugh it's party time and we got everything you need we got streamers balloons
Kazoo's fancy dress shit paper plates face paints lava lamps frisbee's and don't forget you pinnata
Hey, we got David Seaman working here today. Just asking for all your laughter requirements
So I went over the counter and
shooed off there's David Seaman yeah I said alright David. I said, yeah, I can say that, David. Oh, shake my hand. So I do, and I get an electric shock, it's pretty bad actually.
That makes me knackers, like, rotator, a bit of that. So that was a bit tasty, David.
What can I help you with? I just wondered if you sold any of those sweets, you know,
that look really nice, but shit, he says, no, we're just selling all the stuff, choose
chocolatey c- Drib dubs.
What a funny name. I said, oh, I'll just have a pack of shoes then,
thanks David.
Ernie carries on laughing and I made me way out
to the tube, I had a couple of shoes, you know.
And suddenly I began to feel violently ill, you know,
nausea spewing up quickly tards, you know, everything.
I had to be ambulance to hospital, still not consistent in ambulance.
Yeah, I know, I, I was out for the count, you know, doctor said it was probably the
chose that had some, had some dreadful toxin in them.
Right.
Well, I'm sat in my hospital bed and I get a face time call.
Oh, yeah, it's Santa
Kazala. Hey, baby boy, David Rang, how you like my spice shoes?
Guaranteed party time and left the route first. Hey, you look like a fucking ghost. It's
very funny. I love to laugh. Party on brother. And then he was gone. So, did you think my story there was like a little bit like
Hannibal, you know, with the Poison in and not really,
not really, no.
I suppose not.
Is that it? Are we done?
Yeah, that thing that's about enough for now.
I think so, yeah.
I've enjoyed it.
Thank you for having me.
Nice that you offered me some of your sandwich.
You don't want any eggs sandwich, Andrew.
I want to set them all.
I love my egg. Thank you.